The worst NFL picks ever

Waxaholic has an NFL Playoff contest going on, so get over there and enter! II don't care if you know nothing about football, you can't be worse at picking games than me. I always overthink it and screw it up. The Cardinals suck! They won't get past the first round. The Steelers can't win without Cowher! Yeah, um. This year I turned off my mind and let instinct take over. Which basically means if I ever have to rely on my instincts for survival I am dead. Dear Gawd these picks are awful. But I have a perfectly logical reason for each and every one of them.

Behold:

BAD PICKS

WILDCARD ROUND:

Ravens over Patsies

Yeah, that's a Browns card, because they are the Browns. Art Modell is the devil. Patriots ain't winnin nothin without Wes Welker anyway.

Iggles over Pokes

Ok, so I'm just poking Canuck with this one.

Kittens over J-E-T-S JETSJETSJETS

Bengals are home and didn't care last week. The Jets are almost as cursed of a team as Cinci.

Cards over Pack

I'd rather have one good card over a pack any day.

DIVISIONAL ROUND

Tabbys over Chokin' Chargers

I'LL win a Super Bowl before Norv Turner.

WhoDats over Iggles

Because it will crush Tom Benson's dancing spirit more to lose in the Super Bowl.

Mannings over Nevermores

Dude, it's Peyton. Peyton isn't losing his opening game.

Cards over Favres

'Cause I'm goddamn sick of the Vikings that's why.

CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIPS

Puddy Tats over Mannings

At this point I realized that my picks were rubbish and decided to shoot the moon.

Ain'ts over Cards

Every team in the NFC South has been in the Super Bowl except the Saints so it's their turn. Besides, the Cardinals are not repeating as NFC Champs. The Lions have a better chance of winning it all next year.

SUPA BOWEL:

Cincinnatuh Bungles 24
New Awlins Saints 23

'Cause that card rocks.