Bring it on

Why yes, I very likely did. I won't deny it, this is all my fault. You can't very well ignore cease-fires with bellicose indifference and unmitigated malice and not expect to have a few grenades launched your way. A certain fellow to the North casually announced in an e-mail today that I Shall Be Bipped. No worries. I'll take all comers, with the full knowledge that my Bipping arsenal is so mighty that with but a wave of my hand, I could unleash a volley of Bips that would leave the blogosphere a smoldering wreck. Mutually Assured Bippage. So bring it on, I'm not afraid. What does not kill me, only makes me stronger. Oh, wait,you have no clue what I'm talking about do you. Maybe this will help.

Tim the Spastik Mooss from Great Sports Name Hall of Fame left a comment in a post boasting he would epically Bip me. Pshaw. I have stared not one, but two 5000 count boxes of NOTHING BUT 1989 Topps in the face. I don't even have nightmares anymore. I lived one. However, every time Tim comments on a post he leaves his trademark Hahahahas and every time I see those Hahahahas I get a little piece of joy lodged in my dark black Bipping soul. Since Tim brings me such happiness, I thought I'd give him a shot at inflicting some Deep Hurting and pretty much dared him to do his worst. Well, today thee was a small Priority Mail package from Tim the size and weight of a brick. Inside was this:

 This is a 1997 Home Town Heroes card from Upper Deck. These coiuld be found in a box set or as a bonus card with a '97 Team set. Although it's a tiny bit worse for wear, it's a Chipper card I didn't have and I love the Tiptons anyway. Here's the back.

Pretty nifty shiny foily thing of the Jones Bros. (Dear God, I just realized that's one letter away from something horrible) Along with the nifty there was also this:

Is this a Bip? There is a small stack of what appears to be Panini Stickers inside. Strata on the side indicate there are some shinies and weirdness inside. On the back is a Panini Play Ball game.

Is this a Bip? On the front is an '88 Fleer Leon Durham. The back has 1996 Leaf #45. The side strata indicates a horrible mishmosh of seemingly random cards. That means nothing as every single one of those cards could be of a certain Mr. Roberts.

Is this a Bip? Rumeal Robinson was the NBA draft version of a Lottery Bip. The back has a 1996 Pacific Jeff Blauser card mocking me. The side is pretty nondescript, although I can see a few Donruss puzzle pieces hiding in there. This brick is actually made up of two different team bags, possibly indicating some shenanigans afoot.

Is this a Bip? There's a Braves Sticker on the front, a 1992 Topps Keith Mitchell on the back and a whole messload of 1990 Donruss in the middle. It's spread out with other cards breaking it up, but you can't mistake that blood, blood red.

IMPROMPTEAU CONTEST FOR ANYONE PAYING ATTENTION AT MIDNIGHT ON A SATURDAY

Pick which package(s) are actual Bippings and win a prize. That's all you gotta do. Just pick:

1) Panini Bip
2) Leon Bip
3) Rumeal Bip
4) Sticker Bip

Or any combination therein, and you win. Simple enough. Your prize?

I shall Bip you.

Yep, that's your prize. I'll Bip the heck out of you. Enter the contest... if you dare.