2026 NBA PLAYOFF PREFERENCES PART 2

 8TH SEED GAMES ARE PLAYING WHILE I WRITE THIS SO THERE'S PROBABLY GOING TO BE ONE OR TWO TEAMS ON HERE GETTING BOUNCED BEFORE I POST. I'M LESS GRUMPY TONIGHT THOUGH SO I MIGHT NOT BE AS CAUSTIC WITH THE TOP TEN. EXCEPT FOR YOUR FAVORITE TEAM, GAWD THEY SUUUUUUUCK. OK NUMBER TEN LET'S GO

#10 CHARLOTTE HORNETS

1992-93 Fleer Muggsy Bogues

ANOTHER SOUTHEAST DIVISION RIVAL. THEY'RE A PAIN IN MY ASS USUALLY BUT THEY'VE SUCKED FOR A WHILE AND THERE'S PLENTY OF OTHER MORE ANNOYING TEAMS OUT THERE. A HEARTY MEH FOR A PLAY-IN TEAM. AT LEAST THEY'RE NOT CALLED THE BOBCATS ANYMORE

#9 LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS

1973-74 Topps Bob Kauffman

WHAT A TRAINWRECK. MOST CURSED FRANCHISE MAYBE IN ANY LEAGUE. CURSED BY BUFFALO, CURSED BY SAN DIEGO, CURSED BY STERLING, CURSED BY KAHWI. CURSES ALL THE WAY DOWN. AND THEY ALREADY GOT WREKT BY THE WARRIORS SO NOW IT'S DO OR DIE AND HAND A LOTTERY PICK TO THE THUNDER. WHAT AN UNGODLY MESS. I WANT LOS ANGELES TEAMS TO LOSE BUT NOT LIKE THIS

#8 PHILADELPHIA 76ERS

1996-97 Topps Jerry Stackhouse

DAMN, TRAE YOUNG REALLY DESTORYED THIS FRANCHISE, EH. I'VE ALWAYS KINDA LIKED THE SIXERS. THEY GOT DOCTOR J, MOSES MALONE, CHARLES BARKLEY, ALLEN IVERSON, LOTS OF COOL PLAYERS IN THEIR HISTORY. JOEL EMBIID IS AWESOME TOO AAAAAAND HE'S OUT FOR THE PLAYOFFS AGAIN. HOW MANY CURSES ARE ON THIS LEAGUE. DID ADAM SILVER ANNOY A WARLOCK OR SOMETHING

#7 HOUSTON ROCKETS

1994 Sports Illustrated for Kids Hakeem Olajuwon

THE FIRST TEAM ON THE LIST I DON'T HATE THAT HAS A LEGIT CHANCE AT A TITLE THIS YEAR. THEY'VE GOT A SOLID SQUAD OF GOOD YOUNG PLAYERS. AND KEVIN DURANT. IF THEY GET BOAT RACED BY THE SPURS OR THUNDER WE CAN BLAME THE DURANT CURSE. BUT IF THEY GO ALL THE WAY IT'S 100% BECAUSE OF OLD FRIEND CLINT CAPELA

#6 DETROIT PISTONS

1972-73 Topps Willie Norwood

THE CUNNINGHAMS. ANOTHER GOOD YOUNG TEAM WITH AN MVP CANDIDATE THIS TIME. THESE GUYS WERE SO BAD JUST TWO YEARS AGO IT'S NICE TO SEE THAT A FRANCHISE CAN TURN THINGS AROUND WITH SOME HARD WORK AND A DRAFT LOTTERY WIN. DETROIT DESERVES SOME NICE THINGS FOR ONCE

#5 DENVER NUGGETS

1986-87 Fleer Dan Shayes

NIKOLA JOKIC IS ADORABLE. HE'S LIKE IF ANDRE THE GIANT WAS A POINT GUARD. THEY RECENTLY WON A CHAMPIONSHIP BUT I WOULDN'T HATE IT IF THEY DID IT AGAIN. NO MORE AFTER THAT THOUGH. NO MORE FUCKIN DYNASTIES. I LIKE SEEING ABA TEAMS HAVING SUCCESS

#4 PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS

1997-98 Skybox Metal Universe Kelvin Cato

THE BLAZERS ARE COOL AND THEY HAVEN'T WON A TITLE SINCE THE 70S SO HELL YEAH I'M ROOTING FOR THEM. COULDN'T TELL YA ONE PLAYER ON THE ROSTER THOUGH. CLYDE DREXLER? BILL WALTON? IS DAME LILLARD BACK? OH WAIT VIT KREICI GOT TRADED THERE FOR MAGIC BEANS. WIN ONE FOR VIT!

#3 ATLANTA HAWKS

1995-96 Fleer Metal Mookie Blaylock

I'M MAD AT THE HAWKS. THEY HAD A GREAT OFFSEASON THEN EVERYBODY GOT HURT AND THEY STUNK SO THEY TRADED HALF THE TEAM INCLUDING MY FAVORITE PLAYER AND THEN AS SOON AS I COMPLETELY CHECK OUT ON THE TEAM THEY GO ON AN INSANE TEAR AT THE END OF THE SEASON TO GET IN THE PLAYOFFS. PLAYOFFS THEY WILL IMMEDIATELY GET BOUNCED OUT OF BECAUSE THE MAGIC CRIPPLED OUR BACK UP CENTER. WHY DID I SPORTS. HAWKS HAVE A GOOD CORE BUT MY SOUL HAS DIED AND I HAVE NO FAITH THEY WILL WIN ANYTHING EVER. IF THEY FUCK AROUND AND WIN IT ALL IT WILL BE SOLELY TO SPITE ME

#2 MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES

1996-97 Skybox Z-Force Kevin Garnett

ANTHONY EDWARDS IS MY FAVORITE PLAYER NOW I GUESS?? I CAN'T WATCH OR LISTEN TO ANY OF THE GAMES BUT I GET TO SEE ANT MAN THROW DOWN A DUNK ON HIGHLIGHTS EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. THE WOLVES HAVE BEEN DREADFUL THEIR ENTIRE EXISTENCE SO IT'S FUN TO ROOT FOR AN UNDERDOG. THEY'LL NEVER GET PAST THE OKLAHOMA/SAN ANTONIO BUZZSAW BUT IT'S STILL FUN TO ROOT FOR EM

#1 SAN ANTONIO SPURS

1998-99 Topps Tim Duncan

WHAT FOR I ROOT FOR A TEAM WITH A LEGIT DYNASTY? I'M SUPPOSED TO BE A HIPSTER WHO ONLY BACKS LOSERS! I'VE LOVED THE SPURS SINCE ARTIS GILMORE AND THEY REWARDED ME WITH FIVE RINGS WHILE THE HAWKS WERE AT THEIR DERPIEST. THEY MIGHT END UP GOING ON ANOTHER TEAR BUT WHO CARES, WEMBY'S A MONSTER AND I LOVE MONSTERS. 

THANKS FOR JOINING ME IN MY BASKETBALL INDUCED NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. LET THE PAIN, I MEAN THE PLAYOFFS BEGIN!!!

2026 NBA PLAYOFF PREFERENCES PART 1

 ANOTHER PLAYOFF POST, HOORAY! LIKE LAST TIME, THIS IS JUST AN EXCUSE TO POST OLD CRAPPY CARDS AND TO LET YOU KNOW I HATE YOUR ROTTEN TEAM. DON'T FEEL BAD I HATE MY TEAM TOO NOW. I'M BREAKING THIS ONE UP INTO TWO POSTS BECAUSE THE NBA HAS AN ABSURD AMOUNT OF TEAMS IN THE PLAYOFFS. TECHNICALLY 8 OF THE TEAMS ARE IN THE PLAY-IN, BUT FUCK THE NBA, THAT'S A PLAYOFF. PLAYOFFS TO GET IN THE PLAYOFFS. DOUBLE PLAYOFFS! WHAT DOES IT MEEEAN. DOING IT A LITTLE DIFFERENT FROM LAST TIME AND AM GOING IN REVERSE ORDER FROM MOST LOATHED TO MILDLY DESPISED. LET'S START WITH THE POOPIE

#20 ORLANDO MAGIC

2006-2007 Topps Dwight Howard

ORLANDO IS ONE OF MY MOST HATED TEAMS AT THE MOMENT SIMPLY BECAUSE IN THE PAST COUPLE YEARS THEY'VE BECOME A BUNCH OF DIRTY BASTARDS WHO TRY TO CRIPPLE SOMEONE EVERY TIME THEY PLAY THE HAWKS. JOCK LANDALE GOT THE BUSINESS MOST RECENTLY AND NOW HE'S MISSING THE BEGINNING OF THE KNICKS SERIES. HOW'D THE TEAM OF SHAQ AND PENNY TURN INTO THIS HORSESHIT FRANCHISE? RELOCATE THEM INTO THE SEA

#19 LOS ANGELES LAKERS

1971-72 Topps Happy Hairston

LEBRON IS THE GOAT BUT LOS ANGELES HAS ENOUGH CHAMPIONSHIPS FOR THE REST OF THE CENTURY. FUCK LA. AND LUKA, FUCK HIM TOO

#18 MIAMI HEAT

1992-93 Topps Harold Miner

ANOTHER PAIN IN THE ASS FRANCHISE IN THE HAWKS' DIVISION. THEY JUST BEAT US INSTEAD OF BEATING US UP SO THEY RANK A BIT HIGHER. THE SUPER TEAM CHIPS AND RECENT FINALS APPEARENCE STILL IRK ME THOUGH. FUCKIN FLORIDA TEAMS, BLECCH

#17 BOSTON CELICS

1975-76 Topps Henry Finkel

MY FAVORITE PLAYER GOT A RING WITH THE CELTS BUT HE'S NOT ON THE TEAM ANYMORE SO FUCK EM. NEW YORK YANKEES OF THE NBA-ASS FRANCHISE. WEREN'T THEY SUPPOSED TO SUCK THIS YEAR ANYWAY? WHAT THE HELL

#16 OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER

1991-92 Fleer Gary Payton Rookie Sensations

I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST THIS TEAM PER SE (OTHER THAN THE SONICS GETTING SCREWED) BUT THEY WON LAST YEAR AND THE NBA JUST LOOOOOVES THEIR DYNASTIES SO FUCK THAT NOISE. I DON'T WANT TO SEE OKC WIN 4 TITLES IN A ROW. BE HAPPY WITH YOUR DOZENS OF FIRST ROUND PICKS AND LET SOMEONE ELSE HAVE A CHANCE

#15 TORONTO RAPTORS

2019-20 Mosaic Tracy McGrady Jam Masters

WE ARE OFFICIALLY IN THE MEH ZONE. I CAN'T EVEN WORK UP REAL HATE HERE, JUST MEDIUM LEVELS OF DISDAIN. HONESTLY COULDN'T TELL YA A SINGLE PLAYER ON THE ROSTER AND I'M PRETTY SURE THERE WAS A COUPLE ON MY FANTASY TEAM. THEY'VE HAD A CHAMPIONSHIP THIS CENTURY, THAT'S ENOUGH

#14 CLEVELAND CAVALIERS

1995-96 Fleer Dan Majerle

THE EPITOME OF MEH. MAYBE THE WORST FRANCHISE IN NBA HISTORY AND THEN LEBRON ARRIVED TO MESS THAT ALL UP. NOW THEY'RE JUST MID. WHO CARES

#13 PHOENIX SUNS

2021-22 Recon Chris Paul

ANOTHER LONG TIME SUFFERING FRANCHISE BUT AT LEAST THEY'VE HAD SOME FINALS APPEARANCES. I USUALLY LIKE LOVABLE LOSER TYPES BUT PHOENIX TEAMS IRRATIONALLY ENRAGE ME. SHOOT EM INTO THE ACTUAL SUN

#12 GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS

1997-98 Flair Latrell Spreewell Hardwood Leader

THIS IS PROBABLY AL HORFORD'S LAST CHANCE AT A RING BUT I REALLY DON'T WANT THESE GUYS WINNING YET ANOTHER TITLE. GIVE SOMEONE ELSE A TURN!

#11 NEW YORK KNICKS

2008-09 Topps Danilo Gallinari 1958 parallel

YOU'D THINK THESE GUYS WOULD BE WAY LOWER BUT WHY? THEY HAVEN'T WON SHIT SINCE I WAS IN DIAPERS. THE NBA RIGGED THINGS IN THEIR FAVOR AND THEY STILL DIDN'T WIN NOTHIN. THEIR FANS ARE STILL MAD AT TRAE AND HE'S NOT EVEN A HAWK ANYMORE. A BIG BUNCH OF WHATEVER

THE TOP TEN WILL GET POSTED SOMETIME THIS WEEK, HOPEFULLY NONE OF THE TEAMS ARE ALREADY ELIMIATED BY THEN. I MIGHT EVEN HAVE SOMETHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT ONE OF THEM!