THE TWELVE DAYS OF DRAFTSMAS - DAY ONE - FETTY BITE WHIT TUCK

HAI BISHES I'M BACK JUST IN TIME FOR XMAS

SPEAKING OF CRISMISS BAH HUMBUG

I'VE BEEN BUSY WITH SOME EXISTENTIAL CRISESES OVER THE PAST FEW MONTHS AND HAVEN'T WRITTEN SHIT OR DONE ANYTHING CREATIVE OR PRODUCTIVE OR USEFUL FOR THAT MATTER-

OH SHIT I FORGOT I POSTED A BUNCH OF THOSE DIME CARDS I GOT ON TWITTER HERE'S THE GINORMOUS THREAD OF 'EM IF YOU WANT TO TAKE A LOOK

i have been completely unable to write any blog posts (or do much of anything else) this month but I want to show off my latest batch of baseballcardstore dot ca dime cards so i'mma do a gigantic thread of them
the cards came in this cool 87 Fleer update box pic.twitter.com/bf5opPX8Oi

— Mr. Grouchypants sez: What, me worry? (@CardJunk) September 24, 2020

BACK TO THE POST

-BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO PUNT ON MY CHRISTMAS TRADITION OF KNOCKING OUT 12 STRAIGHT EXTREMELY DIFFICULT POSTS IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS. I ALSO WANT TO BE LAZY AS FUCK AND PUT VERY LITTLE EFFORT INTO IT. THEN I LOOKED AT MY DRAFT FOLDER AND SAW DOZENS OF POSTS I ALREADY STARTED THEN ABANDONED AND THOUGHT, HEY, LET'S JUST FINISH THESE SHITS UP AND CALL IT A HOLIDAY SEASON. HERE'S THE FIRST DAY OF HOLIDAY CHEER

The Allen Ginter Project: Card #1 and 1a - N30 The World's Decorations

HERE'S THE ORIGINAL TITLE OF THE POST. I WILL CONTINUE TO LIST THESE IN BOLD SO YOU CAN SEE MY THOUGHT PROCESS ALL THOSE YEARS AGO. HERE IS THE DATE OF THE ORIGINAL DRAFT:

12/07/2007

I'VE BEEN LAZY FOR A LONG TIME FOLKS. THIS IS NOT THE VERY FIRST DRAFT WITH PICS I ABANDONED BUT IT'S THE FIRST ONE I KNEW WHAT TO DO WITH

I've posted this card before as a teaser, but here it is again, the very first Allen & Ginter card I ever got.

TEXT I WROTE BACK THEN WILL BE NORMALLY CAPITALIZED TO DISTINGUISH IT FROM THE CAPSLOCK LUNACY I EMBRACED ONCE MY BRAIN BROKE. I DIDN'T WRITE MUCH FOR THIS ONE
 

THIS IS APPARENTLY THE FIRST VINTAGE GINTER CARD I PURCHASED WAY BACK WHEN ONCE I REALIZED THAT 1800'S CARDS OF RANDOM NONSENSE ARE WAY WAY WAAAAAAY LESS EXPENSIVE THAN 1800'S CARDS OF BAESBAWL PLAYERS. IT IS A VERY PRETTY CARD WITH FLOWERS AND RIBBONS AND FLOURISHY GILDED CROWNS AND STARS AND SUCH

I JUST SPENT FIVE MINUTES TRYING TO GET THIS PARAGRAPH LEFT ALIGNED AND I'M RECONCIDERING THE WHOLE PROJECT SO FUCK IT CENTER ALIGNED IT IS

THE BACKS ARE GORGEOUS AS WELL AND HAVE A TINY IMAGE OF THE OLD PLANTER ON THEM AND I NOW REGRET SPENDING EVEN A DIME ON ALL THAT BULLSHIT THAT CAME OUT IN 2007-2009. NEVER BUY NEW CARDS, KIDDOS. ONLY BUY THE OLD CRAP NO ONE ELSE WANTS. I DID SOMEHOW ACQUIRE A SECOND CARD FROM THIS SET ALTHOUGH I'M NOT 100% SURE HOW

BY NOW YOU SHOULD SEE WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THIS WHAT WITH ONE CARD BEING THE IMPERIAL ORDER OF THE ROSE AND THE OTHER BEING THE ORDER OF ST. OLAF NORWAY. THIS WAS GINNING UP TO BE A BETTY WHITE POST. I FOUND A BUNCH OF VIDEOS AND PICS TO GO WITH IT AND HERE THEY ARE ASSUMING THEY STILL EXIST

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBpB2VoNdWU

FUCK

HOLY SHIT THIS ONE SILL EXISTS AND EVEN MENTIONS THE FESTIVAL OF THE DANCING VIRGINS IN ST. OLAF

OH GOD THIS ONE SHOULD HAVE BEEN DELETED BY THE CONTENT MATCH BOTS. IF YOU DON'T GET THE PUNCHLINE JUST THANK THE LORD AND DON'T GOOGLE IT. THE LOOKS ON BLANCHE AND DOROTHY'S FACES ARE ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW

I THINK ONE OF THE REASONS I NEVER POSTED THIS IS IN MY RESEACH I DUG TOO DEEPLY AND FOUND AN ALLEGED TOPLESS PHOTO OF PRE-TELEVISION BETTY AND THOUGHT ABOUT POSTING IT FOR ABOUT FIVE MINUTES BEFORE I REALIZED WHAT A TERRIBLE IDEA THAT WOULD BE AND JUST BACKED AWAY SLOWLY. 

IN LIEU OF WORLD WAR TWO ERA PINUPS HERE IS THE GAME GRUMPS DOING A BIT IN THEIR BLOODBORNE PLAYTHROUGH WHERE THEY LIST OFF A BUNCH OF BAND NAMES FROM THE NEW ORLEANS CREEPYFEST MUSIC FESTIVAL

I HAVE NO IDEA IF BLOGGER EMBEDDED THE VIDEO AT THE RIGHT TIME AND I TRIED TWICE SO JUST GO TO 11:50 IF IT DID NOT

AND IF YOU WANT TO HEAR THE BAND THEMSELVES AND DON'T MIND SEEING A COMEDY DILDO WELL HERE YOU GO

DOUBLE FUCK. JUST GOOGLE THE BAND

EVEN THOUGH YOU ALREADY SAW IT AT THE TOP OF THE POST I ACTUALLY COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THE TREE TO HANG ORNAMENTS ON WHEN I GOT ALL THE POSTS TOGETHER BUT I FOUND AN APPROPRIATE ONE AND GOT IT MSPAINTED AT 12:59 AM LAST NIGHT

HOLLY JOLLIES MICKEYFICKEYS