GUESS WHAT I REALIZED TODAY?
If the gestation period of the human female is 9 months, and life begins at conception, then technically I'm 40 years old.
Eff everything about that. Screw it, for the next nine months I'm a secular humanist. No dogma is gonna make ME old as dirt any sooner than I have to be! Jesus will understand, He knows He's my bro. After nine months from today I'mma have to bluff like a mickeyfickey though. Go full Jack Benny on y'all. Because OF COURSE my wonderful and understanding family won't rub my ancientness in my face or anything. NAAAAAAH.*
Speaking of my panicky freakout over my ever impending mortality, my resolution to exercise every day is going well! I haven't missed a day yet! Unfortunately, I haven't quite hit the 30 minutes a day mark and I'm already 65 minutes behind. This is not entirely my fault as it has been freaking thunderstorming in Atlanta all week before turning colder than a witch's mammary protuberance the past couple of days. At least I'm tryin'.
Ok, I've dawdled long enough. Here's the sketch card I sent to Jack Plumstead over at The Pursuit of Red Sox. You know, the guy who's crazy about Jacoby Ellsbury? Obviously, I drew a sketch card of Jacoby. Right?
Not as such...
PINKIE'D
Ok, so I got a bit lazy and drew a Sharpie version of Pinkamina Diane Pie looking a bit miffed that I would risk an international incident over a sketch card. Jack has a sense of humour (note the superfluous 'U' as a gesture of goodwill!) and took it well enough. We still have a baseball for football hostage release program active so he'll get Jacoby eventually. By the time I draw it I might even know what I'm doing!
At the time of this drawing, I had three colors of Sharpies. Black, Blue and Magenta. I actually had a Red too, but I didn't know where it was. Those three Sharpies were just enough to draw Pinkie, so I did. I liked it so much I snagged a few more colors so now I have enough to draw all six of the Main (I refuse to use the word Mane in this context) Ponies In Sharpie. Well, almost. I neglected to buy a Yellow Sharpie so I had to use a Highlighter and now Fluttershy looks a bit radioactive. I swear I had a Yellow Sharpie in the house somewhere because I specifically thought to myself "What the hell could anybody use a Yellow Sharpie for?!?" Now I know. I recently drew another Sharpie Pony Sketch card for someone who will remain nameless. All I'm gonna say is while my sketching has improved the past couple of months, my Sharpieing has not. Gonna have to practice some more. By the way, two more sketch cards were posted in the mail today and two more will go out tomorrow if I can get the packages together tonight. Thanks to everyone who has sent me some blanks, they are going to *ahem* good use. Mostly.
*Actually I am pretty certain that my family has already reserved the hearse that will drive me to my special birthday dinner. At Piccadilly cafeteria. At 3:00 PM.
4 comments:
Thanks for the laugh. I have some sort of illness that makes me feel like death warmed over right now so any cheer is good. Your sketches are almost enough to make me want to try my hand at it (pun intended) but then I remember that my wife is an actual artist (ok, art minor in college, close enough)...and well, yeah.
Dude. Being 46, let me tell you that your forties are way better than any decade that precedes it. Sure, the body starts to rebel a little bit (but they got little blue pills for that shit.) But, in terms of the convergence of physical condition and mental maturity, your 40s are the best. I wouldn't go back for nuthin'.
BTW, that Jack Benny reference was a big mistake. AARP brochures are going to start filling you mailbox.
That beats a Jacoby sketch any day. Happy very early birthday!
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