UUHHHH ONLINE DIME BOX CARDS - PART 3

BRIEF ASIDE: FROZEN GRAPES ARE BETTER THAN ICE CREAM. I WISH SOMEONE HAD TOLD ME ABOUT THIS YEARS AGO

IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I POSTED I'VE COMPLETELY MOVED MY OFFICE, BLOGGER IS NOW SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT AND I BOUGHT ANOTHER ORDER OF ONLINE DIME CARDS. WITH MY NEW OFFICE SETUP I CAN TYPE UP POSTS AT 4AM WHEN I'M BEING AN INSOMNIAC SO THERE MAY BE MORE FREQUENT POSTS. HOPEFULLY NOT TOO FREQUENT. DON'T EXPECT THE NEXT BATCH OF DIME CARDS TO BE AS GOOD AS THIS ONE, YOU STOLE ALL THE CARDS I REALLY WANTED. NO O-PEE-CHEE CHIPPERS OR VINTAGE BASKETBALL FOR YOU. OR ME. THIS WEEK'S BATCH IS TOP NOTCH THOUGH, I EVEN SCANNED ALL THE BACKS

1992 UPPER DECK MARK LEMKE GOLD HOLOGRAM

LEMKE!!! GOOD OLD MEMORIES OF THE 1991 WORLD SERIES WHERE THE LEMMER WAS CHEATED OUT OF A WORLD SERIES MVP. I CAN'T REMEMBER IF I'VE SHOWED OFF A LEMKE DIME CARD YET. THERE'S A FEW OF EM SO GET READY. I LOW KEY AM TRYING TO COLLECT ALL THE LEMKES OUT THERE EVEN THE WEIRD STUFF LIKE ODDBALL PACIFIC PARALLELS AND IT'S GOING OK BUT LEMKES ARE KINDA SCARCE EXCEPT FOR 1989-1990 DONRUSS. THOSE ARE EVERYWHERE. ALL THE LEMKES I BOUGHT IN THIS BATCH WERE CARDS I DID NOT ALREADY HAVE

HOW THE HECKY DID I NOT ALREADY HAVE A 1992 UPPER DECK MARK LEMKE YOU ASK. WELL, I DID. BUT THIS ONE'S A BULLSHIT GIMMICK. LOOK CLOSELY. REALLY CLOSELY

I SAID VERY CLOSELY. SEE THAT HOLOGRAM? THE SLIGHTLY YELLOWISH COLOR? THAT'S A GOLD HOLOGRAM WHICH WAS FOUND IN SOMETHING LIKE ONE OUT OF EVERY 20 FACTORY SETS. OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. THE SELLER NOTED THE HOLO HUE OR I WOULD NEVER HAVE FOUND THIS CARD EVER. UPPER DECK ALSO HAD HOLOGRAM LOGO STICKERS IN THIS COLOR, ANOTHER DUMB THING I COMPULSIVELY WASTE MY MONEY ON

2012 ALLEN & GINTER GEORGE FRIDERIC HANDEL MUSICAL MASTERS MINI INSERT

ALLEN & GINTER MINIS!!!!!!! MINI INSERTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I BOUGHT THE GUY OUT OF ALL THE INSERT MINIS SO NOW YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY. MOSTLY CLEARED HIM OUT OF MINIS ALTOGETHER ON THE SECOND ROUND AS WELL. I DON'T SEE MINI INSERTS CHEAP VERY OFTEN SO AM HAPPY TO HAVE THEM. HERE'S A MUSICAL CARD FROM THE FANTASTIC 2012 SET. GINTER STARTED SLOWLY SLIDING DOWN THE RAZORBLADE AFTER THIS SET

DAMN THESE CARDS ARE DESIGNED WELL. REALLY REMIND ME OF THE ORIGINALS EXCEPT FOR ALL THE LEGALESE GLORPING UP THE CARD. KINDA WANT TO PUT A BIG SPLOTCH OF GLUE RIGHT ON THE COPYRIGHT, PASTE THIS TO A SCRAPBOOK AND RIP IT OUT TO GET THAT ORIGINAL 1888 PAPER LOSS FEEL. I'M MORE OF A BACH AND BEETHOVEN KINDA GUY BUT HANDEL IS ONE OF CLASSICAL MUSIC'S HITMAKERS. YOU'VE HEARD HIM BEFORE

2019 ALLEN & GINTER PECOS BILL'S LASSO INCREDIBLE EQUIPMENT INSERT

REMEMBER WHEN I THEORIZED THAT THE FRED MCGRIFF CARD WAS MY FIRST ONE FROM 2019 GINTER? I'VE SORTED THROUGH SOME CARDS SINCE THEN AND DETERMINED THIS IS INCORRECT. HANK AARON WAS MY FIRST 2019 GINTER CARD AND I'M HAPPY ABOUT THAT. HERE'S ANOTHER FULL SIZED INSERT FOR MY NEWLY-ORGANIZED BINDER. IN 2018 TOPPS INCLUDED A GIGANTIC INSERT SET OF BASEBALL EQUIPMENT CARDS SO IN 2019 THEY WENT BACK TO THE WELL AND DID A SET OF MYTHOLOGICAL/LEGENDARY ACCESSORIES. I'M GETTING SUPER DEJA-VU RIGHT NOW. DID I WRITE THIS EXACT SENTENCE IN THE LAST POST? FUCK IT, IT'S A GREAT SENTENCE. READ IT AGAIN

I DID WRITE THAT BEFORE. I REMEMBER GUSHING ABOUT THE PALM FRONDS NOW. AH SCREW IT, EVEN THE BEST SITCOMS HAD A CLIP SHOW EPISODE. SO PECOS BILL WAS THE HOOTENIST TOOTENIST SHOOTENIST BOBTAIL WILDCAT IN THE WEST. HE WAS THE FASTEST GUN NORTH SOUTH EAST AAAAAAAAND WEST OF THE PECOS. WAIT NO, THAT WAS YOSEMITE SAM. EH, WHO CARES THAT AIN'T NO RATTLESNAKE ON THE FRONT OF THE CARD EITHER

1992 COMIC IMAGES FANGORIA - ISSUE #7 THE SHINING

THERE IS/WAS A COMPLETE OR MOSTLY COMPLETE COMIC IMAGES SET OF FANGORIA ON THE SITE.  WAIT, I HAVEN'T LINKED THE SITE ON THIS POST YET HAVE I. HERE YA GO: BASEBALLCARDSTORE.CA. DON'T BUY THE CARDS I WANT. I LOVE HORROR MOVIES AND I ALMOST BOUGHT THIS COMPLETE SET ONCE EXCEPT FOR ONE THING. FANGORIA IS GORY. LIKE, A LOT GORY. IT'S RIGHT IN THE NAME FOR THE LOVE OF PETE. AND WHILE I DO LIKE GORE ON OCCASION, IT AIN'T MY FAVORITE THING. AND HOO BOY FANGORIA REALLY LIKES THAT GOOPY SQUICKY GORY. SO IN LIEU OF COLLECTING THE ENTIRE DRIPPY VISCERAL MANGLED INFECTED SET I PICKED OUT MY FIVE FAVORITE CARDS. THE SHINING IS MY FAVORITE KUBRICK FILM. WAIT - NO. THAT'S DOCTOR STRANGELOVE. IT'S MY FAVORITE STEPHEN KING ADAPTATION THEN. I SUPER DIG THIS COVER WITH THE CLASSIC NICHOLSON KUBRICK SHOT. PLUS TWO OUT OF THREE SIDE FEATURES ARE ALIENS AND THE BLOOD COMES FROM TOM SAVINI WHO DOES CLASSY GORE. AND SHELLY DUVALL IS GREAT, WHERE'S HER FANGORIA COVER

AS WITH MOST EARLY 90S COMIC IMAGES SETS THE BACK IS EXTREMELY MINIMAL. TWO COLORS.GIGANTIC TITLE LOGO. A SMALL FACTOID THAT RARELY HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE FRONT. ANNE RICE STROKES HER READERS' EGOS ON THE BACK OF THIS CARD. GOTTA RESPECT THE SAVVY BUSINESS MIND ON ANNE. THIS IS NOT TO SAY THESE BACKS ARE HALF ASSED THOUGH. EACH CARD BACK HAS A 4 PANEL FILMSTRIP DESIGN WITH UNIQUE IMAGES IN EACH PANEL SHOWING OFF A HORROR SCENE. THIS ONE IS PANNING BACK FROM A MONSTER ON THE ROOF OF A DECAYING GOTHIC MANSION. KINDA WISH I BOUGHT THE SET NOW JUST FOR THE ILLUSTRATIONS

1992 COMIC IMAGES FANGORIA - ISSUE #50 FREDDIE

BLOOD DRENCHED ISSUE! FREDDY KRUEGER IS THE MOST ADORABLE GHASTLY IMMOLATED MONSTROUS CHILD MURDERING NIGHTMARE DEMON EVER. SERIOUSLY, ONLY THE FUCKED UP 80S COULD HAVE TURNED THIS INTO A BELOVED  FILM SUPERSTAR. FREDDY'S A LEGEND AND THIS IS A HELL OF A COVER. LOOKING CLOSELY AT THE COVER I SEE THAT THERE'S AN ARTICLE ON ANGELO ROSSITTO IN THE ISSUE AND NOW I HAVE TO TRACK DOWN A COPY OF THIS SOMEHOW. ANGELO IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE CLASSIC HORROR ACTORS. HE APPEARED IN MOVIES FROM 1927 TO 1987 (!!!) AND FEATURED IN SUCH INFAMOUS CLASSICS AS FREAKS, THE CORPSE VANISHES, MESA OF LOST WOMEN, INVASION OF THE SAUCER MEN AND DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN. YOU WANT GOOD MOVIES? HE'S IN THE WIZARD OF OZ, DOCTOR DOOLITTLE AND MAD MAX: BEYOND THUNDERDOME. HOW ABOUT TELEVISION? HE APPEARED IN GUNSMOKE, THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E, BARETTA, THE ROCKFORD FILES AND AMAZING STORIES. OH, AND ALSO H.R. PUFNSTUF AND LIDSVILLE. 'THAT WEIRD MOVIE WITH BELA LEGOSI AND ANGELO ROSSITTO' IS A LEGIT HORROR GENRE IN ITSELF. I LOVE ANGELO ROSSITTO, WHERE'S HIS FANGORIA COVER

COMIC IMAGES HAD ENOUGH SENSE TO INCLUDE A TOPICAL TIDBIT ON THE BACK OF FREDDY'S CARD. I'M LAUGHING TOO HARD TO TYPE OUT WHAT ROBERT SAID BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE HE HAD FUN. NOT SURE WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON IN THE FILMSTRIP THOUGH. LOOKS LIKE A DOUR VERSION OF HAROLD LLOYD'S SAFETY LAST

1992 COMIC IMAGES FANGORIA - ISSUE #109 THE ADDAMS FAMILY

*SNAP* *SNAP*

THIS IS BY FAR THE MOST NON-GLOOPY COVER IN THE ENTIRE SET AND THAT'S FINE WITH ME. I LOVE ALL ITERATIONS OF THE ADDAMS FAMILY FROM THE ORIGINAL COMICS TO THE TV SHOW TO THE MOVIE REBOOT SHOWN HERE. I EVEN LOVE THE FREQUENT CHEAP HANNA BARBERA  KNOCKOFFS. I MUST ADMIT I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN THE NEW REBOOT WITH POE DAMERON BUT I LOVE IT ANYWAY. UNCLE FESTER IS WHAT I WANT TO BE IF I GROW UP. THE REST OF THE COVER IS PRETTY INTERESTING AS WELL. 13TH YEAR OF FANGORIA. BUNCHA NEW CLIVE BARKER STUFF WHICH COULD BE ANY YEAR IN THE 80S OR 90S, REALLY. THE PIC WITH THE PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS LOOKS TO ME LIKE STEVE MARTIN COSPLAYING A ZOMBIE AND I CAN'T GET THAT IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD. THERE'S A WHOLE MESS OF FORGETTABLE STUFF. FREEJACK WITH... ANTHONY HOPKINS AND MICK JAGGER?? WHAT THE HELL IS BORROWER AND WHY DID IT FINALLY ARRIVE? SHOCK ROCK? TEENAGE WEREWOLF? WHAT EVEN IS THIS STUFF. FREDDY'S DEAD, THAT I GET

THE BACK PIVOTS TO DRACULA, WHICH I'M PRETTY OK WITH. I HEARD CHRISTOPER LEE'S VOICE READING THE ENTIRE QUOTE IN MY HEAD. CHRISTOPER IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, THERE HAS BEEN NO EXACT ADAPTATION OF BRAM STOKER'S NOVEL BUT SOME HAVE COME CLOSE. IF YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW CLOSE, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND JAMES ROLFE'S VIDEO ANALYZING JUST HOW FAITHFUL DRACULA FILMS ARE TO THE BOOK. OR JAMES ROLFE'S VIDEOS IN GENERAL, I'M HAVING TO FORCE MYSELF NOT TO WATCH THE VIDEO SO I CAN FINISH THE POST

THE GARGAMEL AS DRACULA CARTOON IS MAKING ME LAUGH TOO MUCH, I HAVE TO MOVE ON

1992 COMIC IMAGES FANGORIA - ISSUE #37 GREMLINS

GREMLINS, THAT WHOLESOME CHRISTMAS FILM WITH THE CUTE FLUFFY MONSTERS. ANY OTHER MAGAZINE WOULD PUT A MOGWAI ON THE COVER BUT NOT FANGORIA. GOTTA SHOW THAT NASTY UGLY WEIRDLY SHINY GREMLIN. I THINK I'VE FINALLY STARTED TO UNDERSTAND WHY I HAVE SUCH AN IRRATIONAL DISDAIN FOR STEVEN SPIELBERG, DISMISSING HIS MOVIES AS MANIPULATIVE NONSENSE AND CLAIMING HIS BEST FILM IS 1941*. IT'S BECAUSE AS AN IMPRESSIONABLE YOUTH LITERALLY EVERY OTHER MOVIE RELEASE WAS LOUDLY TRUMPETED AS STEVEN SPIELBERG'S $MOVIE IN ALL THE ADVERTISING. I WAS LIKE GODDAMN, STEVE MAKES AN ASSLOAD OF MOVIES DOESN'T HE. THEN LATER ON I FOUND OUT IT WASN'T STEVEN SPIELBERG WHO MADE GREMLINS, IT WAS JOE FUCKING DANTE. STEVEN SPIELBERG DIDN'T MAKE POLTERGEIST, IT WAS TOBE FUCKING HOOPER. STEVEN SPIELBERG DIDN'T MAKE ANIMANIACS IT WAS, UM, WHOEVER THE FUCKING ANIMATOR WAS. STEVEN SPIELBERG IS NOT A GODDAMN ANIMATOR. NOW I ASSOCIATE STEVEN SPIELBERG WITH LIES AND BETRAYAL. AND A JAPANESE SUB ATTACKING HOLLYWOOD. ANYWAY, JOE DANTE IS A NATIONAL TREASURE AND IS A WAY BETTER DIRECTOR THAN STEVEN SPIELBERG. DID STEVIE EVER MAKE A MOVIE AS GOOD AS THE 'BURBS? HELL. NO. WHERE'S JOE DANTE'S FANGORIA COVER

ALSO THIS IS AN EXTREMELY GOOPY COVER BUT IT'S MOSTLY AWESOME GOOP. RICK BAKER'S DEMON BABY FROM IT'S ALIVE IS THE PERFECT MIXTURE OF INCREDIBLY UNSETTLING AND KINDA KILARIOUS. THAT'S A TYPO BUT I'M KEEPING IT. I WOULDA BOUGHT THIS CARD JUST FOR BLOODY ASH FROM EVIL DEAD ALONE. I'LL ACCEPT BUCKETS AND BATHTUBS FULL OF GORE IF BRUCE CAMPBELL IS ATTACHED TO IT. I HAVE NO EARTHLY IDEA WHO OR WHAT LUMPY IS AND I DON'T THINK I WANNA KNOW. ASSUMING IT IS NOT THE FAT KID FROM LEAVE IT TO BEAVER ALTHOUGH I CAN ABSOLUTELY SEE JUDY TURNING INTO A SLASHER LATER IN LIFE

SAW THE TITLE OF THE BACK QUOTE AND GOT EXITED AND STARTED READING IN VINCENT PRICE'S VOICE. AND WAS HORRIBLY DISAPPOINTED THAT IT WAS COKED-UP ERA STEPHEN KING WHINING ABOUT HOW FAMOUS HE WAS. YOU WERE THE MOST FAMOUS AUTHOR ON THE PLANET BY ORDERS OF MAGNITUDE UNTIL THAT HORRIBLE POTTER WOMAN** SHOWED UP, OF COURSE PEOPLE IN A RANDOM ASS MALL IN MAINE ARE GONNA RECOGNIZE YOU. YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT, STEPHEN. TO BE FAIR STEPHEN KING HAS CERTAINLY SEEMED TO HAVE BECOME SUPER CHILL SINCE THE 90S. THE WITCH ANIMATION MADE ME HAPPY. WITCHES ARE COOL AS HELL. I ESPECIALLY LIKE THIS WITCH

THIS IS GOOD MUSIC FOR THE NEXT CARD, HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS

1992 COMIC IMAGES FANGORIA - ISSUE #1 GODZILLA

G O D Z I L L A

HOOOOOOOOOLLLLLYYYYYY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

I WANT THIS COVER AS A POSTER. I KNOW IT'S PROBABLY FOR SALE LIKE A HALF DOZEN PLACES ON TEH INTERWEBS BUT I'M MOSTLY BROKE AND JUST WANT TO DREAM. 

DAMN, THIS IS AN INSANELY AMAZING ISSUE BEYOND THAT GODZILLA GOODNESS ON THE COVER. LOOK AT THAT ARTICLE LINEUP! DAWN OF THE DEAD! DOCTOR WHO! BATTLESTAR GALACTICA! !!!!!CHRISTOPHER LEE INTERVIEW!!!!! THE CREATURE FROM TEH BLACK LAGOON! A PREVIEW OF FRICKIN ALIEN! JUST IMAGINE BUYING THIS OFF THE RACK BACK IN THE DAY BECAUSE GODZILLA AND ALSO LEARNING ABOUT ALIEN FOR THE FIRST TIME. THIS ISSUE SHOULD BE REQUIRED READING IN COLLEGE COURSES

ANOTHER RELEVANT QUOTE ON THE BACK! STARLOG GOES GOOPY. CONSIDERING THE WRETCHED VIOLENCE OF THE STUFF IN THIS MAG I FIND IT AMUSING THE FIRST EDITOR WROTE HONEY I SHRUNK THE KIDS. THEN AGAIN THAT FILM IS SOME SUBVERSIVE BODY HORROR SHIT DISGUISED AS A KIDDIE FLICK NOW THAT I COME TO THINK OF IT. THERE'S A GALLERY OF THIS CARD SET ONLINE WHICH IS HOW I WAS ABLE TO PICK OUT MY FAVES. GO CHECK IT OUT AND SEE THE GROSS STUFF FOR YOURSELF. AS FOR ME I'M HOLDING OUT FOR A CINEFANTASTIQUE TRADING CARD SET

DANG, I ALMOST RECOGNIZE THE ART STYLE FROM THIS DUDE WITH CANDLE COMIC. THE NAME OF THE ARTIST IS RIGHT ON THE TIP OF MY TONGUE BUT I CAN'T QUITE PLACE IT. I'D BET MONEY THEY WORKED WITH JOVIAL BOB STINE AT SOME POINT IN THEIR CAREER

2016 ALLEN & GINTER JASON HEYWARD A&G MINI

FROM GOOOOODDDZIIIIILLLLLAAAA TO JAAAAAAYYYYY-HEEEEEEEEYYYY

CAN'T PASS UP A HEYWARD MINI. THANKFULLY IT'S A CUBS CARD AND NOT A (blecch) CARDINAL. 2016 WAS A GOOD DESIGN AS WELL. BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE

ALLEN & GINTER BACK BAY-BEE! UNFORTUNATELY OLD PLANTER HAS BEEN PUT TO PASTURE BUT THIS STYLIZED T-A-G LOGO IS PRETTY DOPE. I HAVE NOT FIGURED OUT IF THIS IS GOING IN THE HEYWARD BINDER OR THE FRANKENSET YET. ASSUMING OF COURSE I DON'T ALREADY HAVE THIS CARD WHICH IS A BIG ASSUMPTION HONESTLY

2010 TOPPS MARK FIDRYCH YO MOMMA CARD

ENDING ON A HIGH NOTE IN A POST FULL OF HIGH NOTES. I DIDN'T SCAN THIS BACK SO WE CAN ALL PRETEND IT'S ACTUALLY FROM 1977. PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE FONTS, JUST ENJOY THAT ROOKIE CUP AND ALL STAR BANNER

*WHICH IT IS. HIS BEST FILM BY FAR. AND THE BEST WAR MOVIE EVER, ACTUALLY 

DON'T @

**WHILE I DO NOT REGRET READING THE FIRST FOUR BOOKS, JK ROWLING IS IRL DOLORES UMBRIDGE AND I DO REGRET STANDING IN LINE AT MIDNIGHT AND GIVING HER 25 BUCKS A POP FOR THE DOORSTOPS

***TOM RUEGGER. 

TOM RUEGGER MADE ANIMANIACS. ALONG WITH A WHOLE BUNCH OF TALENTED ANIMATORS. NOT FREAKIN STEPHEN 'SLAPS HIS NAME ON EVERYTHING' SPIELBERG

GRAAARGH

UUUUH ONLINE DIME BOX CARDS PART 2

I SHOULD PROBABLY BE DOING STUFF AROUND THE HOUSE OR CATCHING UP ON WORK OR EVEN JUST RELAXING WITH A VIDEO GAME OR SOMETHING BUT I'M GOING TO TRY TO DO ANOTHER BLOGE POAST BECAUSE I GOTTA DO SOMETHING OTHER THAN STARE ANXIOUSLY INTO SPACE. HONESTLY I'M STILL DOING A LOT OF THAT BECAUSE I AM HAVING A HARD TIME FINDING SOME BACKGROUND NOISE THAT WILL HELP ME TYPE AND NOT DISTRACT ME. IRON CHEF ON TWITCH USUALLY WORKS BUT THEY ARE SHOWING A SPECIAL RIGHT NOW AND NOT A REGULAR EPISODE WITH THAT WONDERFUL DRONING COMMENTARY. BOB ROSS IS GREAT FOR CLEANING UP THE HOUSE BUT NOT FOR TYPING AS I KEEP LOOKING AT THE PRETTY PICTURE. I BURNED THRU MY GO-TO PODCASTS AT WORK THIS WEEKEND AND A VIDEO GAME LET'S PLAY AIN'T GONNA WORK RIGHT NOW. FUCK IT, GONNA LEAN ON THE OLD STAND BY - GAME GRUMPS COMPILATION

UPDATE: GAME GRUMPS DID NOT WORK AT ALL BUT I LAUGHED A LOT. MOST OF THE POST WAS WRITTEN WITH HELP FROM A WITCH HOUSE MIX AND THE ARSENAL-LEICESTER MATCH AUDIO

THIS BATCH OF CARD HAS SOME INTERESTING ODDITIES BUT WE'RE GOING TO SEE A LOT OF THE MAJOR THEMES OF MY CARD PURCHASING CHOICES. A WARNING IF YOU CHOOSE TO DELVE INTO THE ONLINE DIME BOX WORLD: THIS IS NOT A SUPER USER FRIENDLY WEBSITE. YOU GOTTA WORK TO FIND COOL CARDS. IF COMC IS SOMETHING LIKE SUPER MARIO MAKER WITH TONS OF OPTIONS THAT LETS YOU DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, THIS IS MORE LIKE A SUPER MARIO TEXT ADVENTURE YOU PLAY BY ENTERING TEXT COMMANDS ON AN OLD VAX TERMINAL IN A GOVERNMENT FACILITY THAT'S STILL RUNNING A MAINFRAME FROM THE 70S BECAUSE THE PROGRAMMERS ARE ALL DEAD AND THEY CAN'T CONVERT THE DATA SINCE THE BUDGET GOT CUT

IE, PRETTY FUN IF YOU KNOW WHAT COMMANDS YOU WANT TO USE AND CAN AVOID THE GUARDS WHO WILL SHOOT YOU BECAUSE YOU BROKE INTO A RESTRICTED GOVERNMENT BUILDING IN ORDER TO PLAY A SUPER MARIO TEXT ADVENTURE GAME THAT DOESN'T EXIST. IN OTHER WORDS, I'M ABSOLUTELY NOT TRYING TO DISSUADE YOU FROM GOING TO BASEBALLCARDSTORE.CA AND BUYING UP ALL THE CARDS I WANT BUT CAN'T BUY RIGHT NOW

ANYWAY HERES SUM CRADZ

2015 TOPPS GOLD PREMIER LEAGUE MESUT OZIL

ARSENAL IS MY TEAM AND MESUT IS MY FAVORITE PLAYER AT LEAST UNTIL HE LEAVES ARSENAL AND JOINS THE MLS WITH A TEAM I DESPISE LIKE DC UNITED OR WHATEVER THE HELL THAT MIAMI TEAM IS. MY JOURNEY TO ENJOYING PROPER FOOTBALL OVER NFL FOOTBALL HAS BEEN A LONG ONE BUT TWO PIVOTAL MOMENTS INVOLVE MESUT. EVER SINCE THE WORLD CUP WAS HELD IN THE U.S. IN 1994 I'VE TRIED TO WATCH AT LEAST A COUPLE GAMES EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW WTF WAS GOING ON. THE FIRST WORLD CUP WHERE I WATCHED A TON OF THE GAMES WAS THE 2010 CUP IN SOUTH AFRICA. I CAN STILL HEAR THAT ANNOUNCER BEGGING EVERYONE TO BUY A HYUNDAI EVERY SINGLE COMMERCIAL BREAK IN MY MIND. THE THING THAT REALLY STRUCK ME ABOUT THE 2010 CUP WAS WATCHING GERMANY MATCHES AND SEEING THIS DUDE WHO LOOKED LIKE A SUPER FIT PETER LORRE RUNNING ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE MAKING PLAYS. I DIDN'T HAVE THE SLIGHTEST CLUE WHAT HE WAS DOING BUT I KNEW IT WAS AMAZING AND HE BECAME MY FAVORITE PLAYER FROM THE TOURNAMENT.

A COUPLE YEARS LATER I STARTED FOLLOWING THE PREMIER LEAGUE  BECAUSE A COWORKER WAS A HUGE LIVERPOOL FAN. I FOLLOWED ARSENAL FOR THREE MAIN REASONS: 1) WHEN I PLAYED EA SOCCER '96 I COULDN'T FIND THE TEAM FOR LONDON* IN THE ENGLISH LEAGUE SO I CHOSE THE TEAM WITH THE BIG-ASS GUN FOR A LOGO 2) THE IT CROWD EPISODE WITH THE LINE 'THE THING WITH ARSENAL IS THEY ALWAYS TRY TO WALK IT IN' 3) I REALLY LIKED THE MOVIE FEVER PITCH WITH COLIN FIRTH. NOT THE OTHER ONE, FORGET THE OTHER ONE. THE FIRST TIME I GOT TO EXPERIENCE THE INSANITY CALLED THE PREMIER LEAGUE TRANSFER WINDOW WAS THE SUMMER OF 2013. IT WAS AN ABSOLUTE SHITSHOW. I WAS WHOLLY UNPREPARED FOR THE SHEER AMOUNT OF BULLSHIT RUMORS THAT WOULD BE FLYING AROUND AND I GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE GONZALO HIGUAIN DRAMA. HIS SIGNING TO ARSENAL WAS IMMINENT EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR TWO MONTHS AND THEN HE SIGNED WITH NAPOLI AT THE LAST SECOND. I WAS SAD AND THE INTERNET HAD A GOOD LAUGH AT WENGER AND THEN AT THE LAST POSSIBLE MOMENT ARSENE PULLED A MADNESS AND MY FAVORITE PLAYER JOINED MY FAVORITE TEAM, NEITHER OF WHICH I KNEW A DAMN THING ABOUT 3 YEARS EARLIER

ARSENAL SUCKS NOW AND MESUT'S CAREER IS WINDING DOWN BUT I DON'T CARE. MAINLY BECAUSE I HAVE ATLANTA UNITED AND JOSEF MARTINEZ TO ROOT FOR. THIS CARD FILLED UP A FULL PAGE OF MESUTS IN MY SOCCER BINDER, A GRAND ACHIEVEMENT IN A TOWN WHERE LOCAL CARD SELLERS ACTIVELY AVOIDED SOCCER CARDS FOR YEARS

2015 PANINI PRIZM JASON HEYWARD PASSION INSERT

PRIZM INSERTS. SOMEHOW EVEN MORE GENERIC LOOKING THAN PRISM BASE CARDS. AT LEAST IN BASEBALL WHERE EVERYONE HAS TO LOOK LIKE THE NO-BRAND WHITE LABEL BEER CANS THEY USE IN MOVIES. HAVE THOSE EVER ACTUALLY BEEN USED IN MOVIES? OTHER THAN THE TIMES THEY WERE USED IRONICALLY. I SWEAR THAT PRISM FOOTBALL AND BASKETBALL CARDS ACTUALLY HAVE COLORS ON THEM WHILE BASEBALL IS STUCK WITH THIS CALL OF DUTY COLOR PALATE. IT'S EVEN WORSE ON THE BACK WHERE THEY TAKE THIS EXACT PHOTO AND MAKE IT MONOCHROME BLUE. DOESN'T MATTER THOUGH BECAUSE HHEEYYWWAARRDDDDD. I HAVE A PASSION FOR J-HEY WHILE THE BRAVES TOOK A LOOK AT THE UNFORTUNATE PLACEMENT OF THAT LEFT FOOT AND DECIDED TO PASS ON. OH WELL HEYWARD DIED SO DANSBY COULD LIVE. THANKS DAVE STEWART! THIS IS THE SECOND HEYWARD CARD OF THE BUNCH I'VE HAD TO PUT IN THE WRONG SHEET OF THE BINDER BECAUSE I RAN OUT OF PAGES. I'M GOING TO HAVE TO EVICT AN OLD RETRO SET OUT OF THEIR BINDER AT THIS RATE JUST TO RECLAIM SOME SHEETS

2019 ALLEN & GINTER INCREDIBLE EQUIPMENT POSEIDON'S TRIDENT

HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOO
ALLEN & GINTER INSERTS
THIS IS MY FIRST FROM 2019. MAYBE MY FIRST 2019 GINTER CARD?? I HAVE VAGUE RECOLLECTIONS OF SNAGGING THE BASE CARD OF THAT GARY V GUY OUT OF THE DIME BOX AT THE LOCAL CARD SHOP BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER IF I DID OR NOT AND THAT WAS SEVEN THOUSAND YEARS AGO ANYWAY.

IN 2018 ONE OF THE INSERT SETS WAS BASEBALL EQUIPMENT LIKE BASEBALLS AND GLOVES AND WHATNOT SO IN 2019 TOPPS JUST RIFFED ON THAT AND DID A SET OF SIGNATURE ACCESSORIES FOR A COLLECTION OF MYTHOLOGICAL HEROES AND HISTORICAL LEGENDS. LIKE A LARGE CHUNK OF GINTER INSERTS THIS LOOKS LIKE AN INTERN GOT A SET CHECKLIST AND WAS TOLD TO SCRAPE PUBLIC DOMAIN IMAGES OFF WIKIPEDIA. I ALSO APPRECIATE THE PALM TREE MOTIF IN THE BACKGROUND, BRINGING BACK THE CLASSICS FROM THE EARLY DAYS OF GINTER. I HAD A GOOD CHUCKLE WHEN I SAW THIS CARD BECAUSE WHEN I THINK OF POSEIDON I THINK THE FATHER OF JOE THESEUS, THE ANTAGONIST IN EDDIE CAMPBELL'S COMIC BACCHUS. THIS IS A FANTASTIC COMIC FOR ANYONE WHO LOVES COMICS BUT DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT STUPID SUPERHEROES. WHO NEEDS 'EM WHEN YOU HAVE STUPID GODS

WHEN I THINK OF TRIDENT I DO NOT THINK OF GUM, ONLY THIS ENTERS MY ROTTEN MIND:

2016 ALLEN & GINTER FELIX HERNANDEZ MINI

ALL I WANTED FROM THE 2020 SEASON WAS ONE START BY FELIX HERNANDEZ IN A BRAVES UNIFORM. PRE-COVID, SPRING TRAINING, MY ONLY WISH WAS TO SEE FELIX MAKE THAT OPENING DAY ROSTER AND GET THAT START. EVEN A RELIEF APPEARANCE WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE. JUST ONE OFFICIAL APPEARANCE. THAT WAS ALL I DESIRED, THAT LINE IN HERNANDEZ'S STATS THAT SAID 2020 - ATLANTA. THAT AND THAT ALONE WOULD HAVE MEANT A SUCCESSFUL BRAVES SEASON TO ME. NOW THE SEASON IS A COMPLETE DISASTER AND HERNANDEZ HAS WISELY OPTED OUT.

OH WELL, KING FELIX MINI CARD FOR A DIME! LET'S SEE WHO IT BUMPS OUT OF MY MINI FRANKENSET

oh.

AWW YEAH FIRST CARD FOR MY FELIX HERNANDEZ PLAYER COLLECTION. NEXT POST YOU SEE ON HERE WILL PROBABLY BE A FRANKENSET NEED LIST

2019 ALLEN & GINTER FRED MCGRIFF

FIRST BASE CARD FOR MY 2019 GINTER SET! IF I DID BUY THAT GARY V CARD IMA RIP IT UP, HE'S NOT WORTHY OF A FIRST CARD. FRED MCGRIFF IS A BRAVES LEGEND AND SHOULD BE HALL OF FAMER. I PREDICT HE FINALLY GETS IN AFTER THE 2020-2022 CORONA/LOCKDOWN/STRIKE SHUTDOWN ENDS A BUNCH OF CAREERS PREMATURELY AND STEALS A COUPLE PRIME YEARS OF STATS FROM OTHER PLAYERS AND ALL THOSE "'BORDERLINE'" PLAYERS FROM THE 90S GET A SECOND LOOK. I REALLY LIKE THE 2019 DESIGN. NICE BIG PICTURE THAT STILL USES THAT FAKE LITHOGRAPH GIMMICK THAT APES THE ORIGINALS. THE LOGO IS WELL DESIGNED BUT DOESN'T EAT UP A TON OF REAL ESTATE. THE BKNY NONSENSE CLUTTER CAN GO FUCK OFF BUT NOTHING'S PERFECT. SEEING HOW I GET THE MAJORITY OF MY GINTER OUT OF DIME BOXES AND JUNK BOXES AND I HAVE NO CONFIDENCE THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO GO TO THE CARD SHOW OR LOCAL SHOP ANYTIME SOON I FEEL MY DAYS OF BUILDING THIS SET ARE COMING TO A PREMATURE CLOSE, JUST LIKE NICK MARKAKIS' CAREER

2010 TOPPS 1961 CARL YASTRZEMSKI YO MOMMA INSERT

JUST NOW NOTICING THE GUNK ON MY SCANNER THAT'S MAKING THIS CARD LOOK MORE VINTAGE THAN IT IS. I SHOULD PROBABLY CLEAN IT BEFORE SCANNING THE REST OF THE CARDS BUT I PROBABLY WON'T

I WAS A LITTLE SURPRISED TO DISCOVER THAT THE 1961 YAZ WAS RELEGATED TO THE UPDATE SERIES OF YO MOMMA CARDS AS I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS A REALLY ICONIC CARD FROM THAT SET. HOWEVER, THE FIRST SERIES HAS THE 1960 YAZ ROOKIE AND ROGER MARIS' 1961 CARD WHICH IS VERY APPROPRIATE. SERIES TWO HAS BROOKS ROBINSON AS THE 1961 EXAMPLE AND YAZ'S '65 CARD. NOW I'M WONDERING HOW MANY PLAYERS HAVE CARDS IN ALL THREE SERIES. THEY NEED AT LEAST TWO MORE SERIES OF YO MOMMA CARDS SO WE CAN GET REPRINTS OF THE INFAMOUS 1973 CARD WITH THE COOL SIDEBURNS AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE YAZ CARD FROM 1978. THAT SOUND YOU HEAR IS STALE GUM CURSING MY VERY NAME FOR ENCOURAGING TOPPS TO CONTINUE BEATING THE EXTREMELY DEAD HORSE THAT IS REPRINT INSERTS

GO AHEAD AND YELL AT ME, I STILL LIKE 'EM

2018 ALLEN & GINTER MIRANDA MAGNIFICENT MOONS 

JUST LIKE 2019'S EQUIPMENT SET RIFFING ON A PREVIOUS GINTER INSERT SET, 2018'S MAGNIFICENT MOONS IS A SEQUEL TO 2013'S ONE LITTLE CORNER SET WHICH FEATURED SIGNIFICANT CELESTIAL BODIES IN THE SOLAR SYSTEM. LIKE MOST SEQUELS IT IS INFERIOR TO THE ORIGINAL AND ONLY FEATURES 10 MOONS. TO BE FAIR, THEY ARE A GREATEST HITS LIST OF MOONS. MIRANDA IS THE ONLY MOON FROM URANUS TO MAKE THE CUT, MOST LIKELY DUE TO ITS DISTINCTIVE TOPOGRAPHY. I WAS UNAWARE THAT ALL OF URANUS' MOONS WERE NAMED AFTER SHAKESPEARE CHARACTERS. AFTER DISCOVERING MIRANDA WAS NAMED AFTER PROSPERO'S DAUGHTER IN THE TEMPEST AND LOOKING UP A SYNOPSIS I REALLY NEED TO LOOK INTO FINDING A PRODUCTION OF THAT PLAY TO WATCH. THE PLOT IS BATSHIT CRAZY AND WOULD HAVE MADE A FANTASTIC RAY HARRYHAUSEN FILM. HOWEVER NOW I SUDDENLY HOPE THAT THE THEORIZED PLANET X IS NEVER DISCOVERED IN MY LIFETIME BECAUSE YOU JUST KNOW THEY'D NAME ANY MOONS THE THING HAS AFTER MARVEL SUPERHEROES OR SOME SUCH DUMBASSERY

OK THEY CAN NAME ONE MOON AFTER MOON KNIGHT, I'LL ALLOW THAT

1992 UPPER DECK DAVE WINFIELD HOMERUN HEROES INSERT

I LOVE THE FIRST FIVE YEARS OF UPPER DECK. IT'S CHEAP, THERE'S A CLEAR AESTHETIC GOING ON, THERE ARE FUN INEXPENSIVE INSERTS THAT ARE FAIRLY EASY TO FIND. THEN 1994 HAPPENED AND THE SET GOT DARK AND CORRUPTED WITH PARALLELS. 1992 IS THE LAST YEAR OF THAT WONDERFUL THIN PLASTICKY CARD STOCK THAT HAS MORE IN COMMON WITH GASOLINE THAN WOOD AND WHILE I ADORE THE 1993 SET I FEEL THE CARD STOCK CHANGE WAS THE BEGINNING OF THE END OF THE FUN JUNK WAX ERA. WHILE MY FOCUS IS ABSOLUTELY ON PICKING UP 1993 INSERTS I DO ALWAYS KEEP MY EYE OUT FOR THIS SET. IN 1991 UPPER DECK INTRODUCED A SILVER SLUGGERS SET THAT LOOKED ALMOST IDENTICAL TO THIS ONE EXCEPT FOR A SILVER BAT. THE 1993 VERSION OF HOMERUN HEROES HAD AN EMBOSSED BAT FOR SOME REASON IN A SHOW OF WANTON EXCESS. I LIKE THIS SET THE BEST. SIMPLE DESIGN, GOLD BAT. PLUS DAVE WINFIELD IS AWESOME  AND ONE OF MY FAVORITE PLAYERS. I WOULD HAVE PICKED THIS CARD UP EVEN IF I WASN'T TRYING TO BUILD THE SET

1998-99 PANINI NHL HOCKEY STICKER CHRIS CHELIOS

FUCK THE NHL, FUCK HOCKEY, FUCK GARY BETTMAN, FUCK PUCKS, FUCK STICKS, FUCK SKATES, FUCK ICE

THERE I GOT THAT OUT OF MY SYSTEM. CHRIS CHELIOS IS THE BEST AND IS MAYBE THE LAST HOCKEY THING I ENJOY COLLECTING. I DON'T HAVE HIS CARDS IN A BINDER YET BUT I DO HAVE A SMALL BOX PUT ASIDE SEPARATE FROM THE GIANT PILE OF HOCKEY CARDS ABANDONED IN THE BASEMENT. WHILE I HAVE NO IDEA WHICH CHELIOS CARDS I HAVE OR DON'T HAVE I KNEW I HAD NEVER SEEN THIS PANINI STICKER BEFORE. IT'S A NEAT LOOKING DESIGN WHAT WITH THE BLUE BORDER AND SILVER NAME. FUN FACT - CHRIS RETIRED AS A THRASHER AS HE WAS CALLED UP FROM THE CHICAGO WOLVES AT THE END OF THE 2010 SEASON. WAIT - THRASHERS

AAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH

FUCK HOCKEY, FUCK WINNIPEG, FUCK THE ATLANTA SPIRIT GROUP, FUCK STEVE BELKIN, FUCK ARIZONA IN PARTICULAR FUCK GARY FUCKING BETTMAN!!!!!!!!!

2015 DONRUSS ICHIRO DONRUSS PREFERRED INSERT

ICHIRO FOR A DIME. THIS SHOULD BE ILLEGAL. I ALWAYS FIND A TON OF DONRUSS INSERTS IN DIME BOXES BECAUSE NO ONE GIVES A FLYING FRANKENSTEIN ABOUT NEW DONRUSS CARDS BUT THE PRODUCT ALWAYS COMES OUT IN THAT WEIRD LATE-WINTER PERIOD WHERE EVERYONE HAS ALREADY ENGORGED THEMSELVES ON TOPPS SERIES ONE AND THEY WANT TO OPEN NEW STUFF BUT THERE'S NOTHING ELSE BUT DONRUSS SO THEY BUY IT TO GET THEIR RIPPING FIX AND THEN COMPLETELY FORGET ABOUT IT BY APRIL WHEN THERE ARE A DOZEN OTHER NEW SHINY THINGS TO OPEN AND OBSESS OVER FOR A WEEK. THIS IS ANOTHER CARD I MIGHT ALREADY HAVE AS I PICKED UP A TON OF THESE OUT OF A DIME BOX BACK IN 2015. THEY'RE NOT GREAT CARDS TO BE HONEST. THEY ARE PLAIN FOIL BOARD WITHOUT THE ETCHING THAT MADE THE ORIGINAL 1998 SET LOOK DECENT. THEY ARE NOT VERY COLORFUL AND THE LITTLE BLACK AND WHITE PHOTO IN THE CORNER DOES NOT POP AT ALL. BUT--- ICHIRO. ALL ICHIRO CARDS ARE GOOD. EVEN THE SUPER DEPRESSING ONES WHERE HE'S IN A YANKEES UNI

TWO POSTS DOWN AND I HAVEN'T DELETED MY ENTIRE GOOGLE ACCOUNT YET, THAT'S A GOOD SIGN. THE NEXT BATCH OF 10 ARE SUPER INTERESTING, I REALLY HOPE I WRITE ABOUT THEM BEFORE NEXT MAY

*BUT MANCHESTER HAD TWO TEAMS?? WHAT BULLSHIT