Dime Box Junk - $3.50

HEY NBA FINALS ARE ON TONIGHT. WARRIORS AND RAPTORS. I WAS ROOTING FOR GIANNIS SO FUCK 'EM BOTH. HERE'S SOME HOOPY DIME BOX CARDS TO CELEBRATE BEING ONE DAY CLOSER TO THE NBA DRAFT

1990-91 HOOPS DENNIS RODMAN ALL-STAR

DENNIS RODMAN IS A WEIRDO AND I LOVE HIM. COMPLETELY RESPECT SOMEONE WHO WOKE UP ONE DAY AND THOUGHT "I'M GOING TO GET EVERY REBOUND IN THE WORLD" AND GOES OUT AND DOES IT. OK SO NOW HE'S THE UNOFFICIAL AMBASSADOR TO NORTH KOREA AND IS PALSY-WALSY WITH TRUMP, BUT EVERYTHING IS SO GODDAMN STUPID RIGHT NOW WHO CARES.

REEEEBOOOOOOOUNDSSSSSS!!!!!!

RODMAN WAS AN ALL-STAR ONLY TWICE WHICH SEEMS STUPID. NO DEFENSE ALLOWED IN THE ALL-STAR GAME I GUESS. ALSO MINDBLOWING: THE WORM PLAYED FOR THE MAVERICKS??? I HAVE NO RECOLLECTION OF THIS. I NEED A BASKETBALL LEGENDS SET OF EVERY HALL OF FAMER WITH THEIR WEIRDEST TEAM. DOMINIQUE WITH THE MAGIC. PARISH WITH THE HORNETS. MCGRADY WITH THE HAWKS. THE WEIRDNESS INJECT IT INTO MY VEINS

ALSO THESE ALL-STAR CARDS ARE A PAIN IN THE ASS FOR A JUNK WAX SET. NO MORE BUYING UP BOXES CHEAP DUE TO THE MARK JACKSON SHENANIGANS EITHER

1996-97 TOPPS FINEST SHAWN KEMP

SHAWN KEMP IS A SIX TIME ALL-STAR BUT NOT IN THE HALL OF FAME LIKE DENNIS IS. MY BRAIN INSISTS TO ME THAT SHAWN HAS BEEN INDUCTED THOUGH AND ONE DAY MY BRAIN MAY BE RIGHT. NOT RIGHT NOW THOUGH BUT HE WAS REALLY GOOD WHEN I WAS PAYING A LOT OF ATTENTION TO THE NBA AND THAT COUNTS FOR SOMETHING. SHAWN'S WTF HE PLAYED WITH THEM TEAM IS: THE ORLANDO MAGIC. ALTHOUGH THOSE CAVS UNIFORMS HE HAD TO WEAR ARE AN ABOMINATION. UGH. SUPERSONIC FOR LIFE

I TRIPLE CHECKED SHAWN'S BASKETBALL-REFERENCE PAGE AND I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT 11.9 AVG STAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE. ALL THE OTHER CAREER BEST STATS FIT FOR THIS CARD BUT THAT ONE. POINTS PER GAME WOULD BE 19.6, REBOUNDS 11.4. THE ONLY ONE THAT FITS IS FIELD GOAL SHOTS PER GAME WHICH IS A VERY ODD STAT TO ATTACH TO 'AVG'. I WAS SO UPSET BY THIS THAT I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE BRONZE-SILVER-GOLD RARITY GIMMICK IN THIS SET. I MEAN IT'S BETTER THAN THE BASEBALL SET BECAUSE THE SILVER AND GOLDS ARE SEGREGATED TO THE HIGHER NUMBERS IN THE SERIES UNLIKE THE TRAINWRECK RANDOM-ASS BASEBALL SET BUT STILL

NO I HAVEN'T FREED THIS FINEST YET

2015-16 PANINI TOTALLY CERTIFIED

NOW THAT IT'S OVER AND DONE WITH JEFF TEAGUE WAS A REALLY DAN GOOD POINT GUARD FOR THE HAWKS. I NEVER APPRECIATED HIM BECAUSE I HAD BETTER MEMORIES OF GUYS LIKE DOC RIVERS, MOOKIE BLAYLOCK AND JASON TERRY. I ALSO ABANDONED BASKETBALL CARDS WHEN TOPPS LOST THE LICENSE SO I MISSED OUT ON CARDS FOR MOST OF HIS HAWKS CAREER. OF COURSE NOW WE HAVE TRAE WHO IS IMMEDIATELY THE BEST POINT GUARD IN HAWKS HISTORY SO NO REGRETS

ONE THING THAT FRUSTRATES ME ABOUT PANINI IS THAT SO MANY OF THEIR CARD DESIGNS ARE BORING AS HELL THEN SOMETHING LIKE THIS POPS UP WITH INSANE FOIL ETCHING AND IT'S LIKE, OH YEAH THEY ACTUALLY CAN DESIGN A GOOD LOOKING CARD IF THEY WANT. IS THIS A HIGH-END ISSUE? CAN'T BE THOSE ARE ON 700-POINT STOCK WITH ENAMEL GLAZING PRINTED WITH INK DERIVED FROM THE BLOOD OF ENDANGERED SQUIDS. STILL, A NICE LOOKIN' CARD WITH A COMPLEMENT FROM KING JAMES HIMSELF ON THE BACK

1995-96 UPPER DECK BASKETBALL HOLOGRAM SOMETHING OR OTHER GLENN ROBINSON

WHEN I SAW THIS CARD IN THE DIME BOX I HAD NO IDEA WHAT IT WAS AND NOW THAT I HAVE HAD THE TIME TO DO SOME RESEARCH ON IT I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL IT IS. IT'S GOT A 94-95 DESIGN BUT IT'S FROM 95-96. I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S AN INSERT OR A STAND-ALONE SET OR A REDEMPTION OR WAS SOLD ON QVC. IT'S PROBABLY WORTH LESS THAN A DIME WHATEVER IT IS ESPECIALLY WITH THE BIG DING ON THE LOWER LEFT CORNER. BUT WHEN YOU SEE AN ODDBALL HOLOGRAM CARD IN A DIME BOX, BY GUM, IT'S PRACTICALLY IMMORAL NOT TO SNAP IT UP

NUMBER ONE OVERALL PICK BY THE BUCKS, PLAYED PRETTY WELL FOR A WHILE, HAD ONE GOOD YEAR WITH THE HAWKS, WON A TITLE WITH THE SPURS AND FELL OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH. OH JESUS, HIS KID PLAYED FOR DETROIT THIS YEAR, I'M SO DAMN OLD

2007-08 FLEER CHRIS BOSH 61-62 RETRO

AYYYY GEORGIA TECH GUY. THERE WAS ONCE A TIME WHERE I LIKED PLAYERS BECAUSE THEY WENT TO A LOCAL COLLEGE, NOW THEY BARELY PLAY COLLEGE BALL. AND WHY SHOULD THEY SINCE THE NCAA IS RIPPING THEM OFF. I HONESTLY HAVE NO MEMORY OF BOSH AT TECH OR TORONTO. TO ME HE'S THE GUY WHO SAW LEBRON AND DWAYNE AND WAS ALL "YEAH THAT'S A GOOD PLACE TO BE". AND WHY NOT?

I LOVE THIS FLEER SET AND NOT JUST BECAUSE THERE ARE THREE, COUNT 'EM, THREE RETRO INSERT/PARALLEL SETS. 61-62. 87-88 AND 86-87 ROOKIE. 224 RETRO CARDS FOR A 235 CARD BASE SET FUCK YEAH. I WISH PANINI WOULD ABSORB UPPER DECK LIKE THE GIGANTIC ALIEN BLOB THAT THEY ARE SO THEY COULD START SWIPING ALL THE COOL RETRO DESIGNS. 80S FLEER, 90S HOLOGRAMS, 00S... WELL NOT A LOT OF GREAT OPTIONS IN THE 00S EXCEPT RETRO REHASHES

RETRO RETRO AWWWWW YEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

YOU MAY THINK THAT THIS POST ENDS WITH A RAPTORS CARD BECAUSE THAT'S WHO I'M PULLING FOR IN THE FINALS. THIS IS NOT CORRECT ALTHOUGH JEREMY LIN WITH A RING WOULD BE FANTASTIC. I AM ROOTING FOR WHATEVER OUTCOME EVENTUALLY CONVINCES KEVIN DURANT TO SIGN WITH THE HAWKS SO HE CAN PLAY WITH HIS BUDDY TRAE. 4 GAME WARRIOR SWEEP AND KEVIN GETS BORED AND TRIES TO WIN A TITLE ELSEWHERE TO PROVE HIMSELF? GREAT. A HEARTBREAKING LOSS IN GAME 7 PROMTING A WARRIORS' BREAKUP? SURE, FINE. I MEAN, REALISTICALLY THE HAWKS WILL BE LUCKY IF VINCE RE-SIGNS BUT A GUY CAN DREAM RIGHT

NON-SPORT FRANKENSET - CARD #3

GEORGIA JUST TRANSITIONED FROM "HUH IT'S A LITTLE CHILLY FOR MAY" TO "OVEN LEFT ON BROIL FOR THREE DAYS" SO HI SUMMER, GUESS YOU'RE HERE TIL NOVEMBER NOW. I KINDA JUST WANT TO GO INTO A DARK ROOM WITH 14 FANS AND WATCH A JACKIE CHAN MOVIE BUT NO! TYPING UP BLOGS LIKE A GOOD CONTENT CREATOR. FIGURED OUT AN ANGLE FOR TODAY'S FRANKENSET CARD SO

HERE

WE

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

3- 2003 WIZARDS OF THE COAST THE SIMPSONS TCG - KRUSTY FOIL

[ONOMOTOPEIA OF KRUSTY'S LAUGH] IT'S KRUSTY THE CLOWN IN HOLOGRAPHIC FOIL! AH, THE EARLY 2000S, WHEN EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING WANTED A HIT TRADING CARD GAME SO THEY COULD PRINT MONEY LIKE THE MAGIC: AND POKEMON PEOPLE. EVERY LICENSED PROPERTY GAVE IT A GO. EVEN SPORTS CARDS GAVE IT A SHOT. EVERYTHING FLOPPED. EXCEPT YU-GI-OH. THOSE CARDS ARE EVERYWHERE. THE SIMPSONS GAVE IT A TRY WITH A CARD GAME THAT WAS MORE ABOUT WORDS THAN NUMBERS. IT DIDN'T OUTLAST THE SHOW, THAT'S FOR SURE. BUT KRUSTY IS SOOOOOO SHIIIIIINY

FULL DISCLOSURE - I HAVE NEVER PLAYED THIS GAME, DO NOT KNOW HOW TO PLAY THIS GAME, WILL NEVER PLAY THIS GAME, AND THE ONLY REASON I HAVE THIS CARD IS BECAUSE THE PRODUCT FLOPPED AND THE PACKS ENDED UP IN TARGET'S 99 CENT CLEARANCE NON-SPORT PACK BIN AND I PICKED UP A HANDFUL BACK WHEN I COULD WASTE MONEY WITHOUT ANGUISH AND GUILT. THIS CARD IS IN THIS SET BECAUSE IN THAT SMALL PILE OF PACKS I GOT THIS FOIL KRUSTY THREE TIMES. THREE. THREE FOIL KRUSTYS. I'M GUESSING THE HOLOFOILS ARE THE PREMIUM CARDS LISTED ON THE PACKS AND THEY ARE SUPPOSEDLY 1:33 PACKS AND I GOT THREEEEEEE. HOW. I NEVER GOT ANY MORE PACKS BECAUSE THE PLAIN CARD COLLATION WAS EQUALLY ABYSMAL. YEARS LATER I FOUND A STARTER DECK AT A FLEA MARKET AND LOOKED AT IT FOR FIVE MINUTES AND NOW IT'S IN A BOX SOMEWHERE.

NEVERTHELESS, I LIKE GAMES AND FIGURING OUT HOW THEY WORK AND I THINK I FIGURED OUT THE BASIC GIST OF IT FROM THE RANDOM CARDS I'VE PICKED UP:

FIRST BUILD A DECK. OR BUY ONE. AND ADD CARDS FROM THE BOOSTERS. THEN FIND 1-4 MORE PEOPLE WHO HAVE ALSO DONE THIS. THIS IS THE PART WHERE MOST PEOPLE GIVE UP

NOW EVERYBODY SHUFFLES THEIR DECKS AND DEALS THEMSELVES A HAND. PRETTY SURE THIS IS MANDATORY IN MOST CARD GAMES

OK NOW THERE'S THESE THINGS CALLED SCENE CARDS. THESE ARE KIND OF LIKE THE LOCATION CARDS IN THE OLD-SCHOOL STAR WARS CCG. MAYBE TWO OF YOU AT MOST KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. PLAY ONE OF THESE CARDS

NOW YOU HAVE TO PLAY YOUR CHARACTER CARDS. THESE ARE LIKE THE CHARACTER CARDS IN THE OLD-SCHOOL STAR WARS CCG EXCEPT NONE OF THEM ARE JEDIS EXCEPT MAYBE BLEEDING GUMS MURPHY. INSTEAD OF NUMBERS TO KILL PEOPLE THERE ARE DESCRIPTIVE WORDS ON THE CARDS. THE MIGHTY WORD IS MORE POWERFUL THAN THE FAKE LASER SWORD. PLAY THE CARD WITH THE RIGHT WORD TO THE SCENE TO GET POINTS

OH HO HO! THE JERKS YOU'RE PLAYING THE GAME WITH HAVE ACTION CARDS! THESE ARE CARDS THAT ALLOW PLAYERS TO SCREW OVER OTHER PLAYERS. THESE ARE LIKE THE DRAW 4 CARDS IN THE OLD-SCHOOL STAR WARS UNO DECK. I DON'T KNOW HOW THESE WORK IN THE SIMPSONS GAME BUT THEY ARE THERE AND ARE MOST LIKELY MEANT TO AGGRAVATE

UM, ONCE YOU PLAY ENOUGH CARDS AND GET ENOUGH POINTS YOU WIN? I GUESS. I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU WIN THIS GAME. BOARDGAMEGEEK SAYS THE GAMES LAST 20 MINUTES SO YOU GOTTA WIN SOMEHOW. I MEAN YOU HAVE TO RIGHT

AFTER 20 MINUTES, FLIP THE TABLE, MAKE SOME POPCORN AND GO WATCH YOUR SEASON 8 DVDS

SO I'VE NEVER PLAYED THE GAME, I HAVEN'T WATCHED THE SHOW IN 10 YEARS AND I HAVE NO STRONG FEELINGS TOWARDS KRUSTY OTHER THAN I AM A FILTHY MAGPIE WHO IS HYPNOTIZED BY THE SHINY THINGS WHICH IS WHY THIS CARD IS IN THE FRANKENSET. HONESTLY HAD NO IDEA WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT IN THIS POST AND AM FRANKLY SHOCKED I GOT SO MANY WORDS OUT OF TRYING TO BULLSHIT THE RULES. SO I WAS SKEERED TO WRITE THIS POST UNTIL I HAD AN EPIPHANY AND REALIZED MY EASY OUT

THE SACRED REFUGE OF TRADING CARD BLOGGERS

PACK!

RIP!

POOOOOOOOOOOST!!!

HERE'S OUR KRUSTY BOI RIGHT ON THE PACK, BEGGING FOR YOUR MONEY. THE 11 RANDOM GAME CARDS ARE PRETTY DANG CONSISTENTLY FOUR CHARACTER CARDS, THREE SCENE CARDS, THREE ACTION CARDS AND ONE RARE. NO UNCOMMONS, TEN COMMONS AND ONE RARE. PACK DESIGN IS ATTRACTIVE I HAVE TO ADMIT, EVEN WITH HIDEOUS SIMPSONS FACES ALL OVER THEM

THERE'S THAT 99 CENT STICKER, HOW I MISS IT. HAVEN'T SEEN THE CLEARANCE JUNK PACKS IN YEARS, I GUESS THE DREGS ARE ALL SHIPPED OFF TO THE REPACK JUNK BOX MAKERS NOW. NO IDEA WHY THE FLAMING MOE REFERENCE IS ON THE BACK. I GUESS ALCOHOLISM SELLS TCGS. THAT WEBSITE IS STILL UP, SORT OF. ENOUGH WITH THE PACKAGING, ON WITH THE CARDS

AM WAY LATE ON THE APU JOKES SO NOT GOING THERE. AS AN OCCASIONAL FLIP-PAST-TELEMUNDO-AT-ODD-HOURS PERSON I APPRECIATED THE GAG BACK IN THE DAY. ACCORDING TO THE SIMPSONS WIKI THIS GUY IS BELGIAN, AND A FURRY. THIS IS THE LAST TIME I SHALL BE CHECKING THE BACKSTORIES OF THE CHARACTERS IN THIS POST FOR MY SANITY'S SAKE

NOTICE: NO NUMBERS EXCEPT THE CARD NUMBER. THIS CONFUSED ME GREATLY  WHEN I FIRST OPENED THE PACK BECAUSE CCGS ARE USUALLY VERY MATH ORIENTED. WAS ALSO UPSET BY THE TERMS FAT AND ODDBALL USED AGAINST POOR MR. BEE ESPECIALLY WHEN I REALIZED THOSE WOULD ALMOST CERTAINLY BE ON MY CARD AS WELL

I HAVE NO RECOLLECTION OF THIS GUY WHICH IS PROBABLY GOOD BECAUSE BEING FORGETTABLE SEEMS TO BE HIS ENTIRE CHARACTER? THREE NEW WORDS FOR GIL, OUR SIMPSONS VOCABULARY IS GROWING

GOOD OL' LUNCHLADY DORIS FROM BACK WHEN THE SHOW WAS ABOUT BART AND THERE WERE EPISODES ABOUT SCHOOL INSTEAD OF HOMER FUCKING UP SOMETHING CATASTROPHICALLY EVERY WEEK.

LOOKS LIKE I'M DOING PRETTY WELL IF I WANT A KILLER BITTER FAT DECK. HASHSLINGER SEEMS LIKE AN EXTREMELY SPECIFIC DESCRIPTION FOR A GAME WITH ONLY 156 CARDS

BACK WHEN I WATCHED REGULARLY I REMEMBER I HAD A DEFINITE PREFERENCE FOR ONE OF MARGE'S SISTERS BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER WHICH ONE AND I'M NOT LOOKING IT UP. IT'S PROBABLY SELMA BECAUSE I CAN'T REMEMBER THE OTHER ONE'S NAME. AND BY PREFERENCE I MEAN I THOUGHT ONE WAS COOL IN HER GROUCHINESS AND THE OTHER ONE WAS JUST A BORING GRUMP. Y'ALL ARE GOING TO POST ON SOCIAL MEDIA HURTFUL MAY-MAYS SAYING SELMA IS MAH WAIFU ANYWAY SO I'M NOT SURE WHY I CLARIFIED THAT

FUCK IT I LOOKED IT UP. PATTY IS THE OTHER ONE, HOW'D I FORGET THAT. WAIT, PATTY IS A LESBIAN? WELL SHIT, I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT THIS SHOW DO I. LUNCHLADY DORIS IS THE COOL ONE

OH LOOK! A SCEEEEEENE. THESE HAVE NUMBERS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COMPLETE AND TRASH IS. YOU GET TO DRAW THREE CARDS EITHER WAY. I CAN COMPLETE THE FAT-FAMILY-IDIOT SCENE WITH CARDS FROM THIS PACK WHICH IS COOL. NOT SO COOL THAT I'M IN THE SCENE. I WANT THE GIRL TOY YOU JACKASS! TAKE BACK THESE TRANSFORMERS

CAN COMPLETE THE IDIOT-CELEBRITY SCENE AS WELL. THERE ARE AT LEAST THREE HUMOROUS REFERENCES ON THIS CARD THAT I'LL BET NO ONE UNDER SAY, TWENTY-FIVE UNDERSTANDS IN THE SLIGHTEST. I'LL BET THAT THEY LOOK AT THAT PIE RESIDUE AND HAVE BAD THOUGHTS

AM I INSANE OR DID WEIRD AL YANKOVIC DO A SONG ABOUT THIS EPISODE. OR BOTH. CAN'T COMPLETE THIS SCENE WHICH IS PROBABLY FOR THE BEST

WE'VE REACHED THE ACTION CARDS.EGGHEAD JACKANAPE NE'ER-DO-WELL IS A GOOD DESCRIPTION FOR ME, I GUESS I HAVE TO BE DISCARDED NOW

TALKING HEADS REFERENCE ON A LISA CARD SEEMS APPROPRIATE. RECLAIMING A CARD OUT OF THE DISCARD PILE IS A BASIC CCG PLAY MECHANIC SO LISA'S PROBABLY RIGHT ABOUT THE VALUE OF THIS CARD

NOW THIS CARD IS HELLA COOL THOUGH. NOT THE PLAY MECHANIC, JUST THE ON-PURPOSE EFFED UP CARD ART. PROFESSIONAL PRINTER TWITTER WOULD PROBABLY GET A KICK OUT OF THIS ONE. NOTE THAT ALL THE ICONS NEXT TO THE CARD NUMBER SO FAR ARE CIRCLES. DON'T RECALL SEEING ANOTHER CCG SET WITH ALL COMMONS, NO UNCOMMONS. THIS ALSO CONFUSED ME AND IS PROBABLY A REASON I GAVE UP ON THE GAME AFTER THESE PACKS. KIND OF A SHAME SINCE THE GAME I MADE UP IN MY HEAD SEEMS PRETTY FUN

OK KIDS! RARE TIEM!!!

AYYY HANK SCORPIO
I LOVED THIS EPISODE
CAPITALIST AS BOND VILLAIN HA HA HOW QUAINT MATT GROENING

MY GOD WHAT WE'D DO FOR EVEN ONE CAPITALIST AS KIND AND UNDERSTANDING AS HANK RIGHT NOW

WOULD LOVE IT IF BILLIONAIRE ASSHOLES WOULD JUST MURDER SECRET AGENTS AND TAKE OVER THE EAST COAST INSTEAD OF RAISING THE PRICE OF LIFE-SAVING DRUGS AND PROFITING HANDSOMELY FROM FASCIST PROPAGANDA ON SOCIAL MEDIA AND DESPERATELY ATTEMPTING TO DIG UP ALL THE OIL IN THE WORLD BEFORE CIVILIZATION COLLAPSES

JESUS THE 90S WERE SO INNOCENT AND DUMB

OK FINE THE EPISODE WAS WRITTEN BY JOHN SWARTZWELDER NOT MATT GROENING. NOW YOU TROLLISH COMMENTATORS WILL HAVE TO FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO FLAME ME ABOUT. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ASSHOLES, THERE'S NOTHING REMOTELY CONTROVERSIAL IN THIS POST

AND THAT'S THE POST! I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT IT AND NOW IT'S DONE, YAY!

THE NEXT POST I FOR REALS HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT IT SO I'LL PROBABLY DRINK A LOT AND TAP OUT SOME WORD SALAD

TILL THEN, MY BELOVED JERKS

Retirement

NO NOT ME. I'M NOT A BOOMER, I'LL WORK TILL I'M DEAD. NOT THE BLOG EITHER, HAD A COUPLE OF FRUSTRATING WEEKS SO I'VE BEEN GOOFING OFF MORE THAN USUAL. ALSO KIND INTIMIDATED BY TRYING TO FOLLOW UP THE WALLY WOOD POST. THE NEXT NON-SPORTS POST IS GONNA SUCK, I SHOULD JUST GET IT OVER WITH. AND ALSO NOT THE SCANNER, MY LAPTOP WON'T EVEN RECOGNIZE IT NOW BUT I'M WORKING VERY HARD TO FIX IT. JUST THE OTHER DAY I THREW THE USB CORD AS HARD AS I COULD ACROSS THE ROOM. ANY IT PROFESSIONAL SHOULD KNOW THAT THIS ALWAYS WORKS. BUT SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT TO THIS BLOG IS GOING INTO RETIREMENT.

MEET MY STANDARD CATALOG OF BASEBALL CARDS.

GEM MINT 11. VERY APPROPRIATE FOR SOMEONE WHO LOVES CARDS LIKE THIS

SO YOU KNOW HOW I'M THIS BIG CARD KNOW-IT-ALL WHO POSTS A BUNCH OF OBSCURE CRAP AND KNOWS THE ANSWERS TO ALL THE CARD QUESTIONS ON TWITTER AND IS GENERALLY AN OBNOXIOUS ASS? THIS BOOK IS THE REASON. WELL NOT THE REASON I'M AN OBNOXIOUS ASS, THAT JUST COMES NATURALLY. ALL THAT OBSCURE CARD BULLSHIT - I LEARNED A WHOLE LOT OF IT FROM THIS BOOK. LOOKING UP CARDS I HAVE, PERUSING SETS I DON'T HAVE, BROWSING THE CHECKLIST FOR A SET I JUST COMPLETED AND SEEING HALF A DOZEN CARDS I DON'T HAVE AND HAVE NEVER HEARD OF. JUST READING IT FOR FUN LIKE A BIG OL' NERD. THIS WONDERFUL BOOK FROM BOB LEMKE DOES IT ALL

I PICKED THIS UP AT A BOOKS-A-MILLION OUT OF THE CLEARANCE IN FOR ABOUT FIVE BUCKS AND IT WAS A BLESSING AND A CURSE AS I THOUGHT I WOULD EVENTUALLY FIND ITS REPLACEMENT FOR THE SAME PRICE. NOPE, IT AIN'T THE 90S ANYMORE, THESE THINGS ARE HARD TO FIND ON SALE. AS A RESULT THIS THING IS WELL USED AND GETTING A LITTLE (A LOT) DOG-EARED

I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED IT JUST DID. UNFORTUNATELY THIS MAKES IT DIFFICULT TO TURN PAGES IN THE FIRST AND LAST 50 PAGES OR SO IN THE BOOK. THE BACK IS IN MOSTLY THE SAME STATE. AND SEE? YOU CAN BE A BASEBALL CARD EXPERT. IT SEZ THERE RIGHT ON THE BACK AND IT IS TRUTH

THEN A COUPLE WEEKS AGO I GOT AN UNEXPECTED $10 AMAZON GIFT CERTIFICATE (YES, I KNOW - BOOOOOO AMAZON, AMAZON SUX, PAY YOUR WORKERS YOU BILLIONAIRE FUCK) AND DECIDED TO BURN IT ON THIS:

ONE MEEEELLLION CARD VALUES! I ONLY USE IT FOR THE CHECKLISTS. AND LIL WRITEUPS ON ALL THE SETS. AND INSERTS! HOLY SHIT THERE ARE SO MANY INSERTS TO KEEP UP WITH. AND MINOR LEAGUE SETS FROM THE 30S I'VE NEVER HEARD OF. AND ODDBALLS- YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING

THIS IS THE 20TH EDITION FROM 2011. WHICH MEANS IT WAS PRINTED IN 2010 AND HAS CARD SETS THAT WERE RELEASED UP TO ABOUT JUNEISH? 2010 LISTED. I REALLY DIG THE COVER CARDS

PRINCE ALBERT, MICKEY AND THE HAMMER. A BAZOOKA AT THAT! NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER BUT IF HANK AARON'S ON IT YOU CAN CHEAT AND BE A LITTLE JUDGEY. YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED THE BAR CODE SLAPPED ON THE COVER, THERE'S A REASON FOR THAT

THIS BOOK WAS ORIGINALLY PROPERTY OF THE HARRIS COUNTY PUBLIC LIBRARY. I'M ASSUMING THE RESELLER BOUGHT IT IN A LIBRARY SALE AND DIDN'T JUST CHECK IT OUT. IF THIS IS A HOT BOOK AND THE PO-POS SEARCH MY BOOK COLLECTION THEY'LL FIND A BUNCH OF LIBRARY SALE FINDS AND I'LL PROBABLY BE SENTENCED TO LIFE IMPRISONMENT IN ONE OF THOSE LITTLE STUDY ROOMS. WAIT, IF I COULD SNEAK OUT AND GET BOOKS THAT WOULD BE KINDA AWESOME. IF YOU LIVE IN TEXAS SNITCH ON ME UNLESS THE LIBRARIAN IS REALLY INTO GUNS

EVER WONDERED WHAT THE DEWEY DECIMAL CODE IS FOR BASEBALL CARD CATALOGS?

SEVEN SIXTY NINE

NICE

BY THE WAY, THIS THING IS FRICKIN HUGE. LIKE TWO PHONEBOOKS HUGE. LEGIT THICK AS A CARD BOX. YOU COULD EASILY FIT ALL OF THE CEREBUS COLLECTIONS UP TO THE POINT WHERE DAVE SIM HAD A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN IN THIS THING

SINCE I UPGRADED FROM 2002 TO 2011 I NOW HAVE LISTINGS FOR HERITAGE CARDS AT LEAST UP UNTIL I STOPPED GIVING A SHIT ABOUT HERITAGE. OH YAY A HUNDRED DOLLAR VARIATION IN A SET COLLECTOR'S SET

I BELATEDLY REALIZED THIS ENTIRE POST IS POTATOPHONE PICTURES OF TINY CATALOG TEXT SO I'M GONNA SHOW OFF A CARD FROM THE SET LISTED  IF I CAN FIND ONE IN MY PICTURES FOLDER. ISN'T THIS A GODDAMN GLORIOUS FUCKING CARD

WHOOPS THIS IS FROM 2005 HERITAGE. FUCKIT, 2010 HERITAGE WAS UGLY

I'M ALSO HAPPY TO SEE SOME ALLEN & GINTER CARDS IN THE CATALOG, ESPECIALLY ALL THOSE FINICKY LITTLE INSERT MINIS.

WOOOO GRIFFEY RED. WHOOPS THIS IS FROM 2006. CLOSE ENOUGH

I NOW HAVE THE COMPLETE CHECKLIST RUN OF UPPER DECK CARDS. I DIDN'T JUST PICK THIS EDITION FOR THE AARON, 2010 IS KIND OF A LANDMARK YEAR IN CARD COLLECTING. MY WORD THIS PICTURE IS AWFUL

I MISS FUN UPPER DECK PHOTOS *SOB*

NO THE SAME KIND OF PHOTOS PRINTED ON SP VARIATION CARDS DON'T FUCKING COUNT

FLEER ALSO GETS THE ENTIRE-RUN-OF-THE PRODUCT TREATMENT IN THIS BOOK. FROM VINTAGE TED WILLIAMS TO UPPER DECK FLEER BRANDED JUNK. AS MENTIONED EARLIER THE TRUE VALUE HERE IS IN ALL THESE INSERT CHECKLISTS. A LOT OF TIMES YOU WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW AN INSERT EXISTED UNLESS YOU BOUGHT A FEW CASES OR OWNED A CARD SHOP

AAUGH I CLICKED ON THE WRONG IMAGE!! BUT THE PHOTO IS UPLOADED NOW SO YOU'LL HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT

DONRUSS.... WELL DONRUSS IS KIND OF A MESS. NOT COUNTING THE NEW PANINI DONRUSS, THIS CATALOG DOES NOT END WITH 2005 DONRUSS (ALTHOUGH WITH ALL THOSE $%*&! SHORTPRINTS DONRUSS DESERVED TO END) BUT CONTINUES ON WITH ALL THOSE ELITE AND THREADS SETS WITH THE MINOR LEAGUERS. WHY DID CARDS IN THE '00S HAVE TO SUCK

HERE'S THAT FLEER CARD I SHOULD HAVE POSTED.
NO YOU'RE NOT GETTING A DONRUSS CARD, ENJOY A LOVELY CARD OF ADRIAN BELTRE YOU PHILISTINE

WHILE FLIPPING THROUGH THE BOOK I REALIZED I COULD NOW PORE OVER CHECKLISTS FOR A BUNCH OF WEIRD-ASS SETS I BOUGHT A TON OF AND IMMEDIATELY FORGOT ABOUT. LIKE MLB SHOWDOWN! REMEMBER WHEN EVERYONE WANTED TO BE A CCG? NOW I CAN SEE JUST HOW MANY FOILS I'M MISSING

I DON'T HAVE ANY SHOWDOWN SCANNED SO HERE'S DERPY AKA MUFFINS. IT'S NOT A COLLECTIBLE CARD GAME EITHER BUT THE CORNERS ARE KINDA ROUNDED. BEFORE YOU ASK, NO, THIS CARD IS NOT IN THE NON-SPORT FRANKENSET

THIS SET ALSO CAUGHT MY EYE WHILE RUMMAGING THROUGH THE BOOK. OH BOY! THE COMPLETE LIST OF FLEER WORLD SERIES CARDS! JUST LIKE IN THE OTHER BOOK! AND THE VINTAGE PRICE GUIDE I BOUGHT AND NEVER USE! BUT NOW IT'S IN THIS ONE TOO

I'M ALMOST CERTAIN I SCANNED A FLEER WORLD SERIES CARD AT SOME POINT BUT I MUST HAVE MOVED IT TO MY BACKUP DRIVE AND I'M NOT DRAGGING THAT THING OUT TONIGHT. YOU'LL HAVE TO SETTLE FOR A '59 TED

HERE'S A SET THAT IS NOT IN THE 2002 EDITION A 50S DOMINICAN REPUBLIC SET THAT'S SCARCE ENOUGH THAT ALL THE SUBJECTS ARE UNKNOWN BUT CARDS ARE SOMEHOW ONLY 10 BUCKS A THROW? THIS KIND OF STUFF FASCINATES ME BECAUSE I'M A BIG OL' NEEERRRRRRRRD WHO LIKES TO READ BOOOOOOKKKKKSSSS

I ABSOLUTELY DON'T HAVE ONE OF THESE DOMINICAN REPUBLIC CARDS BUT HERE'S AN OLD TOBACCO CARD OF GOLFER DENSMORE SHUTE THAT I CAN'T USE FOR A STANDALONE POST BECAUSE I BOOGERED UP THE BACK SCAN

whoops

AND HERE'S WHAT I'LL MOSTLY BE USING THE BOOK FOR, LOOKING OVER TOPPS SETS I'VE LOOKED AT 1000 TIMES BEFORE. I APPRECIATE THE (DP) AND (SP) NOTATIONS AS WELL AS THE EASE IN PICKING OUT ALL THE CARDS I STILL NEED FROM 53 TOPPS BY THE THREE AND FOUR DIGIT PRICE TAGS

GOTTA LOVE THEM RELATIVELY AFFORDABLE HIGH NUMBERS THO

NOTE THE MOBILE STATS. BILL DID MAKE IT TO THE BIGS IN '53 AND HIT A HOMER FOR BROOKLYN WHICH IS COOLER THAN ANYTHING ANY OF US WILL EVER DO

BACK TO AARON. ONLY REASON FOR THIS PIC IS I WANTED TO SHOW OFF THOSE WONDER ROOKIE CARDS IN BOLD ITALIC. MUCH EASIER TO PICK OUT IN THIS EDITION, SOMETHING MY RUINED EYES APPRECIATE.

HOMEBREW TRADED CARD! I SHOULD MAYBE LOOK THIS ONE UP IN THE OLD CATALOG

NOW THAT THE OLD EDITION HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE HERE'S THE NEW LINEUP OF REFERENCE MATERIALS FOR WHEN SOMEONE RANDOMLY ASKS A QUESTION ABOUT AN OBSCURE CARD ON TWITTER. IF YOU CAN PICK ONE UP AT A GOOD PRICE FOR YOU I RECOMMEND IT. JUST DON'T BLAME ME IF YOU GET CAUGHT UP LOOKING AT SKYBOX INSERTS FROM THE 90S AND LOSE AN AFTERNOON