I have no idea how to create pages but I'll figure it out eventually godammit

Sunday, August 18, 2019

NON-SPORT FRANKENSET - CARD #5

YEAAAAAH BACK TO THIS AFTER SEVERAL MONTHS

GONNA JUST COME OUT AND SAY IT. IF IT WEREN'T FOR A VERY SUPER CRUCIAL LIFE-ALTERING ABSOLUTELY GOTTA DO IT THING I NEED TO DO RIGHT NOW I WOULDN'T BE WRITING THIS POST. I'D BE PLAYING VIDEO GAMES OR JUST MINDLESSLY SCROLLING THRU TWITTER OR SOMETHING USELESS. BUT THAT PARTICULAR DAMOCLEAN SWORD IS DANGLING ABOVE MY NOGGIN AT THE MOMENT SO I NEED TO DO SOMETHING SLIGHTLY LESS NONESSENTIAL TO DISTRACT ME FROM THE GNAWING ANXIETY OF THE UNDONE TASK. I'VE ALREADY WASHED ALL THE DISHES SO CREATING AN ENTERTAINMENT FOR THE TWELVE PEOPLE WHO STILL READ THIS THING WILL HAVE TO DO. WAIT! I HAVEN'T TAKEN OUT THE TRASH YET. HOLD ON A SEC


DANG THAT DIDN'T TAKE AS LONG AS I HOPED. GUESS I GOTTA WRITE. WHAT DO I DO AGAIN? OH YEAH THE CARD NAME IN BOLD

1982 Donruss The Dark Crystal - The Mystic Scribe

DIDJA KNOW THERE WAS A TRADING CARD SET FOR THE DARK CRYSTAL? DIDJA KNOW IT WAS MADE BY DONRUSS? DIDJA KNOW IT WAS A PIONEER IN TRADING CARD SETS WITH ROUNDED CORNERS? YOU PROBABLY DID. I'M GUESSING MOST PEOPLE READING THIS ARE MIDDLE AGED CARD NERDS WHO LOVE THE MUPPETS. I DON'T KNOW IF THESE ARE RARE OR WHAT BUT THIS IS THE ONLY CARD FROM THE SET I OWN AND IF I WOULD HAVE FOUND PACKS OR SINGLES OR EVEN A SET ANY TIME SINCE THE 80S I WOULD HAVE BOUGHT 'EM ALL UP. IT'S A NEAT LOOKING SET THOUGH WHAT WITH THE BRIGHT PURPLE BORDERS AND ROUND CORNERS. HONESTLY IF I HAD ENCOUNTERED THESE CARDS IN 1982 I'M NOT SURE HOW I WOULD HAVE REACTED TO THEM. I FREAKIN LOVED THE MOVIE (EVEN THOUGH IT FREAKED ME OUT A BIT) BUT ROUNDED CORNERS ARE FOR PLAYING CARDS NOT TRADING CARDS AND I HAVE A FEELING MY LIZARDY TWEENAGED BRAIN WOULD HAVE REJECTED THIS SET OUTRIGHT FOR NOT FOLLOWING THE RULES


THE BACK IS AS PURPLY AS THE FRONT. NOT SURE IF THIS IS A DARK CRYSTAL THING OR AN EARLY 80S THING. I REMEMBER THE MOVIE BEING MORE EARTH-TONEY. THIS CARD IS OF urAc THE urRu AND THE WEIRD CAPITALIZATION IS IMPORTANT I THINK SO I'M KEEPING IT IN. THE urRu ARE THE CHUBBY HIPPIE GOOD GUYS OF THE FILM AND ARE THE FOILS OF THE WICKED SKEKSIS. THIS GUY HERE WROTE STUFF DOWN I GUESS. THE urRu DON'T DO MUCH MORE IN THE FILM BESIDES SHOW UP SO I DON'T THINK IT MATTERS MUCH. I SUPPORT LITERACY IN GENERAL SO I APPROVE OF THIS GUY'S STYLE

BACK ON JUNE 14TH WHEN THIS POST SHOULD HAVE BEEN WRITTEN I WAS KINDA BUMMED THE NETFLIX SERIES WAS SO FAR OFF. NOW DUE TO THE POWER OF PROCRASTINATION IT'S ONLY A FEW DAYS AWAY. I'M SOMEWHAT WORRIED ABOUT CGI, BUT IT APPEARS THERE'S PLENTY OF PUPPETS RUNNING AROUND IF THE TRAILERS AREN'T LYING SO IT SHOULD BE GOOD. ALSO A LITTLE SCARED THAT SINCE IT'S A PREQUEL (I THINK) IT'S GOING TO BE ANOTHER ROGUE ONE WHERE HE GET TO ROOT FOR A BUNCH OF LIKABLE CHARACTERS ONLY TO SEE THEM GET THEIR SHIT REKT BECAUSE PLOT. HOWEVER, IT'S GOT AUGHRA IN IT SO IT HAS TO BE GOOD. SCRAP THE ENTIRE SERIES AND JUST MAKE THE AUGHRA SHOW. I NEED AN AUGHRA CARD. I NEED AN AUGHRA SET

AT ANY RATE THE DARK CRYSTAL WAS A PERFECT MIX OF LORD OF THE RINGS FANTASY SCHLOCK AND CREEPY A-LITTLE-TOO-REALISTIC MUPPETS AND IT WARPED MY LITTLE LIZARD BRAIN AT JUST THE RIGHT TIME. IT SPARKED MY OBSESSION WITH ANDROGYNOUS ELFY CREATURES LIKE DAVID BOWIE. IT CAUSED EXISTENTIAL ANGST AS I GRAPPLED WITH ONE OF THE MYSTIC HIPPIES POOFING OUT OF EXISTENCE JUST BECAUSE A SKEKSIS MANAGED TO GET HIMSELF KILLED. THE SKEKSIS REINFORCED THE LESSON LEARNED WITH DARTH VADER THAT THE BAD GUYS COULD BE WAY MORE INTERESTING THAN THE GOOD GUYS. AND THAT SCENE WHERE THE REFUGEE FROM FRAGGLE ROCK GETS HIS SOUL SUCKED OUT THROUGH HIS EYEBALLS WHEN HE LOOKS AT THE DARK CRYSTAL STILL FUCKS ME UP. THE DARK CRYSTAL IS COOL AS HELL AND I'M PISSED THAT IT TOOK 37 YEARS TO GET MORE OF IT

Tuesday, August 13, 2019

Scanners

NO NOT CRONENBERG, THE COMPUTERY THING WHAT STEALS IMAGES FROM REALITY AND IS OFTEN PACKAGED WITH A GARBAGE INK GUZZLING PRINTER. I TOLD YOU I'D FIX MY SCANNER AND I DID. I FIXED IT WHEN MY FAMILY GOT A NEW PRINTER AND I TOOK THE OLD ONE THAT WON'T PRINT AND WILL SCAN. I HAVE A WORKING SCANNER NOW, IT COUNTS AS A WIN FOR ME. LET ME HAVE THIS

NOT GONNA LIE, HAVING THE SCANNER THAT DONE SCANNERIZED THE VERY FIRST IMAGE ON THIS BLOG 800 YEARS AGO DROP DEAD* WAS A BLOW TO ME AND I NEEDED SOME MOURNING TIME. WASN'T LAZY AT ALL, IT WAS GRIEVING FOR A HUNK OF PLASTIC AND CIRCUIT BOARDS. THE NEW ONE IS OK AND WHILE THE SCANNING SOFTWARE ISN'T AS ROBUST IT'S SO FAST IT MAKES UP FOR IT. ONCE THE PRINTER SOFTWARE FINALLY INSTALLED AFTER BEGGING FOR INTERNET ACCESS AND AS MUCH DEMOGRAPHIC DATA IT COULD LEGALLY ASK FOR, I GRABBED SOME CARDS TO TEST THE THING OUT. HONESTLY I HAVEN'T GOT MANY NEW CARDS THIS YEAR AND THE JUNK PILED ON MY DESK WAS SLIM PICKINGS. BUT! I FILLED UP THE SCANNER BED AND NOW YOU SHALL SEE SOME TRULY RANDOM-ASSED JUNK. DESPITE HAVING A FOLDER OF OVER 100 IMAGES OF ACTUALLY COOL CARDS I COULD'VE EASILY POSTED AT ANY TIME

 WAS CLEANING UP THE BASEMENT TODAY AND FOUND THIS HORRIFICALLY ABUSED WELL LOVED POKEMON CARD OF TEAM MAGMA'S GREAT BALL. GREAT BALLS OF FIRE AMIRITE. NOTHING? OK. MAGMA'S LOGO IS PRETTY DOPE AND I'M SURPRISED/RELIEVED THIS CARD ISN'T A RARE. I DON'T REMEMBER WHICH GAME IS THE TEAM MAGMA ONE, EMERALD MAYBE? AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHICH POKEMON SET THIS IS FROM. MY GOD, THERE'S LIKE A HUNDRED DIFFERENT POKEMON SETS EASILY. AT LEAST. I FEEL BAD FOR ANYONE COLLECTING THEM, IT'S EVEN MORE OFF THE RAILS THAN OUR RIDICULOUS HOBBY. ANYWAY, TEAM AQUA 4 LYFE. FLOOD THE EARTH, DROWN EVERYONE, SHELLY'S THE BEST

SCRATCH THAT, FLEER LOGO STICKERS ARE THE BEST. AND THE CLASSIC HAWKS PAC-MAN LOGO IS THE BESTERIST. WITH BONUS JERRY WEST STICKER! DON'T KNOW WHAT SET THIS IS FROM, THE BACK IS BLANK AND I'M TOO LAZY TO SEARCH THE fLEER sTICKER pROJECT RIGHT NOW. I JUST WANNA STARE AT THAT BEAUTIFUL LOGO



OK THAT'S ENOUGH


I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE THIS CARD CAME FROM, IT JUST POPPED UP IN A PILE OF JUNK. WILLEM DAFOE IS AWESOME AND WILLEM DAFOE TRADING CARDS ARE AWESOME. I DEMAND TRADING CARD SETS FOR WILD AT HEART, SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE AND THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL SO I CAN HAVE MORE WILLEM DAFOE CARDS. TRADING CARD SETS FOR ALL WILLEM DAFOE MOVIES NOW!!!

MAYBE NOT ANTICHRIST

 KELLOGG'S!!!!! I HAVE AT LEAST THREE OF THESE THAT I KNOW OF AND PROBABLY MORE BECAUSE WHEN I SEE 3D POPS IN A CHEAPO BOX I BUY 3D POPS. THIS CARD WASN'T IN A BOX OF POPS, IT WAS IN CORN FLAKES. I LIKE HOW THE SCAN CAUGHT THE GHOST OF THE SECOND IMAGE AND A HINT OF THE OUTFIELD/FIRST BASE POSITION DESIGNATION. I WANT A BOWL OF CEREAL NOW, DAMN YOU UBIQUITOUS ADVERTISING
THIS WAS ON THE FLOOR. IT'S FROM A GO FISH GAME FROM COBB EMC. I'M GUESSING MY KIDS GOT IT FREE FROM SOME FUN FAIR AND IMMEDIATELY PLAYED A SPIRITED GAME OF 52 CARD PICKUP. THE ARTWORK FASCINATES ME. IT SEEMS A LITTLE TOO DETAILED FOR AN ACTUAL KID'S DRAWING BUT ALSO DOESN'T SEEM LIKE SOMETHING A PROFESSIONAL ARTIST WOULD MAKE WHEN TASKED WITH 'MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A KID DREW IT'. COBB EMC SHOULD HAVE CREDITED THE ARTISTS LIKE THEY DO ON MAGIC:THE GATHERING CARDS. IF A KID DID DRAW THIS I WANT TO SAY WHEREVER YOU ARE, THIS IS WEIRDLY GOOD AND KEEP DRAWING EVERY DAY TO BUILD YOUR SKILLS. AND I HOPE YOU GOT PAID. NEVER WORK FOR EXPOSURE KID, YOU DIDN'T EVEN GET CREDITED HERE


BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO BOMBO 

BACK ON OPENING DAY I WAS FEELING FRISKY FROM ALL THE BASEBALL JUICES AND I BOUGHT ONE OF THOSE WALGREENS JUNK PACKS HOPING TO GET ONE OF THOSE BRYCE HARPER ROOKIES LITERALLY EVERY PERSON ON TWITTER HAS PULLED OUT OF THOSE THINGS. UNFORTUNATELY, THERE WAS NO HARPER, THE BOX WAS MOSTLY GARBAGE AND THE CASHIER RUNG ME UP WRONG SO I ENDED UP ACCIDENTALLY PAYING $10 FOR THE DAMN THING. BUT I GOT BOMBO SO IT WASN'T ALL BAD


THREE STOOGES GOLDEN AGE INSERT! DOES GOLDEN AGE STILL EXIST? OR HAVE THEY LEFT THAT MARKET TO UPPER DECK GOODWIN CHAMPIONS. DON'T REMEMBER WHAT YEAR THIS WAS BUT LARRY MOE AND CURLY GOT THEIR OWN CARDS AND AN INSERT SET. THESE CARDS ARE EXPENSIVE FOR NON-SPORTS NON-AUTOGRAPHS! I'VE NEVER SEEN THEM FOR LESS THAN A FEW BUCKS BUT I HAD TO SNAG THE THREE LITTLE PIGSKINS CARD BECAUSE FOOTBALL. NEVER NOTICED MOE'S UNIFORM NUMBER WAS HYDROGEN PEROXIDE BEFORE

NORMALLY I'D EMBED A YOUTUBE VIDEO OF THIS EPISODE BUT FOR SOME REASON A FILM SHORT FROM 1934 IS NOT YET IN THE PUBLIC DOMAIN AND STREAMING SERVICES WANT TO CHARGE TWO BUCKS TO WATCH IT. I'LL JUST DIG UP MY VHS COPY, Y'ALL FIGURE IT OUT ON YOUR OWN IF YOU WANT TO WATCH


BRUCE SMITH ROOKIE CARD! FROM THE BEST FOOTBALL SET OF THE 80S, HANDS DOWN. YOU CAN'T SEE IT FROM THE SCAN BUT THIS CARD IS ALL WARPED AND WOBBLY DUE TO WATER DAMAGE. SO WHAT HAD HAPPENED IS WHEN IT RAINS REALLY HARD AROUND HERE THE BASEMENT TENDS TO LEAK. BECAUSE OF THIS, I HAVE PUT EVERYTHING IN THAT ROOM UP ON SHELVES OR IN PLASTIC CONTAINERS. ONE BOX OF OLD FOOTBALL DOUBLES WAS IN ONE OF THOSE PLASTIC CONTAINERS. MY SON DUG THRU THE CONTAINER AND PLACED THIS BOX ON THE FLOOR. THEN IT RAINED. NOW I HAVE A BUNCH OF WIBBLY WOBBLY FOOTBALL DOUBLES INCLUDING TWO BRUCE SMITH ROOKIES. GOOD THING I DON'T CARE ABOUT CONDITION. SO NEXT TIME YOU SEE SOME VINTAGE CARDS WITH THE WOBBLIES, THAT'S HOW IT HAPPENS

YAY! A NEW POST! I AM CONFIDENT IN ASSURING YOU I WILL BE BACK ON A REGULAR POSTING SCHEDULE NOW THAT I CAN SCAN STUFF WHENEVER THE INSPIRATION STRIKES. ALSO I HAVE SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT I NEED TO BE DOING SO I HAVE MORE PROCRASTINATING INCENTIVE

YELL AT ME WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE NEXT, I PROMISE I READ COMMENTS IF ONLY TO KILL SPAM

* 90% SURE IT'S JUST THE CABLE. I HAVE NO MONEY TO REPLACE THE CABLE WHICH I'M NOT SURE IS EVEN MADE ANYMORE SO I'LL NEVER KNOW FOR SURE, THUS THE SCANNER IS NOT TECHNICALLY DEAD

IT'S NOT DEAAAAAAD

Saturday, August 3, 2019

Atlanta Comic Con Pickups

THIS CONVENTION WAS LIKE THREE WEEKS AGO BUT IN MY DEFENSE IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO MOVE PICTURES FROM YOUR PHONE TO YOUR LAPTOP WHEN YOU ARE VERY LAZY

SO WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS A COUPLE MONTHS AGO MY WIFE FOUND A DISCOUNT DEAL ON ATLANTA UNITED TICKETS AND EVEN WITH THE DISCOUNT THE PRICES WERE LIKE HOLY SHIT AND I MENTIONED THAT FOR THAT MONEY I'D RATHER JUST GO TO DRAGON*CON AGAIN AND MY SON WHO CAN'T HEAR WORTH SHIT WHEN YOU TELL HIM TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH OR DO HIS HOMEWORK OR GO TO BED HEARD FROM THREE ROOMS AWAY AND IMMEDIATELY PLANNED OUT A SCHEDULE TO GO TO FOUR COMIC CONVENTIONS THIS YEAR AND IS ANGLING FOR MOMOCON NEXT YEAR. ATLANTA COMIC CON WAS THE FIRST ON THE LIST AND IS HELD IN A CORNER OF THE GEORGIA WORLD CONGRESS CENTER WAAAAAY IN THE BACK TO SEGREGATE THE NERDS FROM THE NORMIES AND UM, BASKETBALL PLAYERS? THERE WAS SERIOUSLY A BASKETBALL CONVENTION? TOURNAMENT? I DUNNO A SHITLOAD OF BASKETBALL PLAYERS WANDERING AROUND

THIS CON IS TINY COMPARED TO DRAGON*CON BUT WAY BIGGER THAN THE OTHER LOCAL SHOWS, WHICH TO BE FAIR ARE USUALLY HELD IN LIBRARIES OR MIDDLE SCHOOLS. IN THE BACK WAS THE AUTOGRAPH LINES WHICH I COMPLETELY IGNORED BECAUSE THE ABSOLUTE CHEAPEST 'GRAPH OR PHOTO OP WAS $25 AND  I HAD $23 AND A POCKET OF CHANGE FOR THE SHOW. THERE WAS A BIG-ASS VENDOR FLOOR WITH A BUNCH OF PEOPLE SELLING CRAP AND AN ARTIST'S ALLEY IN THE MIDDLE. THE ARTIST'S ALLEY WAS A NICE MIX OF LEGIT MARVEL AND DC COMICS PROFESSIONALS (WHO ALSO MADE APPEARANCES IN PANELS) AND A BUNCH OF LOCAL ARTISTS. I WISH I COULD HAVE SPENT MORE MONEY WITH THE LOCAL DOODS BUT I DID GET A SKETCH CARD FROM A FAVORITE LOCAL ARTIST WHICH WILL BE SHOWN OFF AT A LATER TIME. THERE WAS THE OBLIGATORY OVERPRICED SNACK BARS WHICH WE IGNORED BECAUSE WE SNUCK IN A WAL-MART SUB FOR LUNCH. GAMING WAS WELL REPRESENTED WITH A WALL OF ARCADE CABINETS WITH FREE PLAY AND ANOTHER ROOM OF PC GAMING. MY SON BEAT ME AT DUCK GAME AND I FELT PRIDE

WE ONLY WENT TO TWO PANELS BECAUSE WE PLANNED POORLY. THE FIRST ONE WAS GREAT, THREE VOICE ACTORS DID THEIR THING FOR AN HOUR. THERE WAS A LOT OF POOP JOKES AND FUNNY VOICES AND VENERATION OF THE GUY WHO DID THE VOICE OF OPTIMUS PRIME. I'M NOT LOOKING UP THE NAMES OF THE ACTORS BUT IT WAS BILLY FROM THE ADVENTURES OF BILLY AND MANDY, A GUY FROM THE STAR WARS CARTOON AND A GUY FROM AN ANIME. FAIRY TALE? IT THINK. THE NEXT PANEL DIDN'T GO AS WELL, IT WAS A BUNCH OF GUYS WHO DREW FOR MARVEL IN THE '70S INCLUDING THE CREATOR OF PUNISHER AND THEY WERE MOSTLY ALL FED UP WITH THE COMICS INDUSTRY. I NOW REGRET NOT GOING TO THE BATMAN '89 PANEL INSTEAD. THERE WAS A WATCHMAN PANEL AND A COUPLE OTHER INTERESTING ONES BUT WE STUPIDLY TOOK THAT TIME TO SHOP THE VENDORS AND MISSED THEM. ONCE WE HAD SPENT ALL OUR MONEY THE ONLY PANEL LEFT WAS ON AQUAMAN AND WHO THE HELL WANTS TO SEE THAT

NO! YOU WANT TO SEE THE CRAP I WASTED MY MONEY ON! I KNOW FOR A FACT AT LEAST HALF OF YOU ONLY COME FOR THE PRETTY PICTURES. I WENT INTO THIS MESS WITH A GAME PLAN AND I ACTUALLY FOLLOWED IT TO THE LETTER. HERE IS MY GAME PLAN HIGHLIGHTED IN RED:

TRANSMETROPLITAN 30 31
THE SANDMAN 23 50
FLAMING CARROT 1-6, 32

***NOTE HERE THAT I SWAPPED THE ISSUE NUMBERS THAT I NEED FOR SANDMAN AND TRANSMET. THIS WAS NOT A PROBLEM BECAUSE I BOUGHT NO ISSUES OF EITHER COMIC. I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE CAUGHT MY ERROR IF I HAD FOUND ANY OF THESE ISSUES. MAYBE

EC REPRINTS
MAD MAGAZINES
HOUSE OF MYSTERY/SECRETS/PLOP

DONT PASS UP HELLBLAZERS IN A DOLLAR BOX!!!
GET SOME WEIRD BOOLSHEET FROM CHEAPO BOXEN

DEAR READER, I KNOCKED THIS SHIT OUT OF THE PARK EVEN WITH MY LIMITED FUNDS.

FIRST COMIC BOUGHT: HELLBLAZER ANNUAL #1


SO HERE'S MY GENERAL PROCEDURE AT CARD SHOWS/COMIC CONVENTIONS: WALK AROUND THE ENTIRE VENDING HALL AND SEE WHAT THEY GOT BEFORE SPENDING ANY CASH. FIND THE DIME/QUARTER/DOLLAR BOXES. FIND THE CHEAPO BINS. SCOUT AROUND A BIT. OF YOU SEE SOMETHING YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO HAVE IMMEDIATELY, TAKE A MENTAL NOTE OF IT AND IF YOU REALLY REALLY WANT IT FOR REALS YOU'LL REMEMBER IT AFTER YOU FINISH LOOKING AT EVERY TABLE. IF YOU GO BACK AND IT'S GONE, IT WAS NOT MEANT TO BE. I KINDA CHEATED WITH THIS ONE BECAUSE I HAD SEEN MOSTLY EVERYTHING EXCEPT ARTIST'S ALLEY WHEN I FOUND THIS IN A DOLLAR BOX. DON'T REMEMBER IF IT WAS A TWEET OR A BLOG POST BUT PREVIOUSLY I EXPRESSED MY REGRETS ABOUT FINDING EARLY HELLBLAZER ISSUES IN DOLLAR BOXES AND PASSING THEM UP. REMEMBERING MY ANGUISH I IMMEDIATELY BOUGHT THE THING EVEN THOUGH THERE WERE STILL TABLES UNSEEN. STICK TO THE PLAN!

HAVEN'T ACTUALLY READ THIS YET BUT I FLIPPED THRU IT AND IT LOOKS LIKE JOHN CONSTANTINE IS IN THE MIDDLE AGES SOMEHOW? AND THERE'S DEMON SHENANIGANS GOING ON OF COURSE. DON'T RECALL ANYONE THROWING SWORDS AT JOHN BUT MAYBE I SKIPPED THAT PAGE

PURCHASE #2 SIGNED JAMES BOND PRINT FROM TOM RICHMOND


BROKE MY RULE AGAIN AT ARTISTS ALLEY. WAS BARELY A QUARTER WAY AROUND THE ROW WHEN I CAME TO TOM RICHMOND'S TABLE. TOM IS AN ARTIST FOR MAD MAGAZINE AMONG OTHER THINGS AND HE HAD A COLLECTION OF NEWER ISSUES FOR SALE. SADLY DID NOT FIND ISSUE #4 OF THE REBOOT WITH THE COVER MAKING FUN OF THE SHINING. IF ANYONE HAS THAT ISSUE OR KNOWS WERE I CAN FIND IT AFFORDABLY PLEASE LET ME KNOW, I'M KICKING MYSELF FOR NOT GETTING A SUBSCRIPTION AND MISSING THAT ONE WHEN IT WAS ON SALE. TOM HAD A FEW $5 PRINTS AND ONE OF THEM WAS THIS JAMES BOND CARICATURE AND SIGNATURE WAS FREE WITH PURCHASE SO NO WAY I COULD PASS THAT UP. TOM ASKED IF I WANTED AN INSCRIPTION AND I COMPLETELY BLANKED BECAUSE MY BRAIN SHUTS OFF WHEN I MEET PEOPLE I ADMIRE AND HE SIGNED IT MADLY! WHICH IS AWESOME. ALMOST IMMEDIATELY BEHIND TOM WAS THE OTHER ARTIST I ENDED UP  BUYING SOMETHING FROM BUT THAT'S A STORY FOR ANOTHER POST

AT THIS POINT I HAD SCOPED OUT THE BARGAIN BIN COMIC BOXES AND MY SON FOUND HALF A DOZEN THINGS HE WANTED BUT COULDN'T AFFORD. TWO THINGS HAD CAUGHT MY EYE ON THE TRIP AROUND THE FLOOR. A COPY OF THE GRAPHIC NOVEL BLANKETS FOR A FIVER AND A GODZILLA MOVIE POSTER. I FIGURED I COULD FIND BLANKETS AT THE LIBRARY OR IN A HUMBLE BUNDLE EVENTUALLY SO GAVE UP ON IT. AFTER MY ARTIST ALLEY PICKUPS THE GODZILLA POSTER WAS SADLY OUT OF MY BUDGET. I STILL HAVEN'T HUNG UP THE FLAMING CARROT PRINT I GOT AT LAST YEAR'S CON SO TO BE HONEST IT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST THAT GODZILLA GOES TO SOMEONE MORE WORTHY. AT THIS POINT WE WENT FOR PANELS AND LUNCH. BUT THEN....... TIME TO DIG THRU CHEAPSKATE BOXES

PURCHASE #3 HORROR COMIX!
GLADSTONE TALES FROM THE CRYPT REPRINT #5
GLADSTONE WEIRD SCIENCE REPRINT #4
MARVEL FEAR #5

 EC COMIX BAYBEEEEE! IF YOU REMEMBER FROM MY WALLY WOOD POST THERE ARE SEVERAL DIFFERENT FLAVORS OF EC COMIC REPRINTS. MOST JUST REPRINT ONE ISSUE BUT THESE GLADSTONE REPRINTS ARE DOUBLE-SIZED!!!! TWO COMICS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE! ON MY INITIAL RECON MISSION I FOUND A TALES FROM THE CRYPT IN A $2 BOX AND I MADE A MENTAL NOTE TO SNAG IT LATER. IT HAD VANISHED BY THE TIME I GOT BACK BUT I FOUND ANOTHER ONE SO NO HARM DONE. OH HOW I LOVE THE GNARLED VISAGE OF THE CRYPT-KEEPER, THE OLD WITCH AND THE VAULT-KEEPER ON THIS KICK-ASS JACK DAVIS COVER. YOU WANT HORROR, HERE'S A RAT IN YOUR FACE. FUCK YEAH


THE BONUS COMIC IS CRIME SUSPENSTORIES WHICH IS A HELLUVA WORD. THIS GRISLY COVER IS FROM JOHNNY CRAIG AND DOCTOR WERTHAM DOES NOT APPROVE. APPARENTLY THERE'S A CROSS-OVER FROM THE HAUNT OF FEAR TOO SO WE HAS SOME HORROR WITH OUR CRIME. GAWD I WANNA READ THIS NOW BUT I GOTTA FINISH TYPING ARGH


OH MAH GOURD IT'S ANOTHER WALLY WOOD COVER. BIG UGLY MONSTER ABOUT TO CHOMP A DUDE. MANLY MAN ZAPPING THE MONSTER ABOUT TO GOBBLE HIS BRO. STRONG ATTRACTIVE WOMAN WHO ACTUALLY HAS SOME GODDAMN SENSE HEADING BACK TO THE ROCKET SINCE THE GUYS HAVE THIS SHIT HANDLED. AND THE DILDO ROCKET GOES FWOOOOOOSH! WHY THE HELL HASN'T WEIRD SCIENCE BEEN TURNED INTO A SERIES LIKE TALES FROM THE CRYPT? THAT WOULD KICK ASS! I GUESS SCI-FI IS TOO EXPENSIVE TO PRODUCE. AT LEAST REBOOT THE 80S MOVIE. AND GENDERSWAP IT SO A COUPLE OF TEENAGE GIRL NERDS CREATE THEIR OWN CHRIS HEMSWORTH THROUGH THE POWER OF THE INTERWEBS OR SOMETHING AND MAKE A BUNCH OF JERKS CRY ABOUT THEIR CHILDHOODS BEING RUINED


INSIDE COMIC IS WEIRD FANTASY WITH THE AL FELDSTEIN COVER OF KABOOMED MANHATTAN. REMEMBER KIDS, THIS IS THE 1950S WHEN FANTASY MEANT SCIENCE FICTION. TOLKIEN HADN'T RIPPED THE TERM BACK FOR THE ELVES AND DRAGONS YET.  BUT WHY THE FANTASY, YOU ASK. WHY NOT JUST PUT THESE STORIES IN WEIRD SCIENCE WHERE THEY BELONG, YOU DEMAND. BECAUSE EC GOT TO PRINT TWO DIFFERENT COMICS FOR THE KIDDOS TO BUY, I CLARIFY. AND THE KIDS WHO HATE SCIENCE CLASS CAN BUY FANTASY, AND VICEY -VERSA. AND I GOT BOTH BECAUSE GLADSTONE REPRINTS! THEN THAT FUCK WERTHAM RUINED EVERYTHING. WELL, WE GOT REPRINTS AND MAD MAGAZINE OUT OF THE DEAL AT LEAST.


THERE WAS ANOTHER EC REPRINT IN THE BOX BUT IT WAS A SINGLE ISSUE GEMSTONE AND IT WAS LIKE A TWO-FISTED TALES OR ONE OF THE ONES I WAN'T AS INTERESTED IN AND IT GOT PUT BACK IN THE BOX WHEN I FOUND THIS HORROR COMIC FROM MARVEL THAT I HAD NEVER HEARD OF BEFORE. THE COMBINATION OF A BIG, BLOODY FEAR TITLE AND A GORILLAMAN WAS JUST TOO MUCH FOR ME TO RESIST. I ACTUALLY HAVE READ THIS ONE, AND I HAVE TO SAY DEAR READER, THAT MARVEL HORROR COMIC ARE FUCKING GOOD. FIRST OF ALL JACK KIRBY. JACK KIRBY DRAWING GORILLAMENS. HOLY SHIT. I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED JACK KIRBY GORILLAMONSTERS IN MY LIFE BUT I. FUCKING. DO. ANOTHER THING IS THAT MARVEL HORROR/SCI-FI IS SURPRISINGLY UPBEAT! I'M USED TO EC COMICS WHICH ARE GLORIOUS SOUL-KILLING NIGHTMARES AND THE SPIRITUAL SUCCESSORS AT DC, HOUSE OF MYSTERY AND HOUSE OF SECRETS, WHICH OFTEN CONTINUED IN THE EC TRADITION WHERE EVILDOERS GET THE HORRENDOUS JUSTICE THEY TRULY DESERVE AND PRETTY OK PEOPLE IN THE WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME JUST GET ABSOLUTELY WREKT IN DREADFUL WAYS AND COMPLETELY INNOCENT BYSTANDERS SUFFER THE TORMENTS OF HELL BECAUSE IT'S A HORROR COMIC FOR FUCK SAKE THAT JUST WHAT HAPPENS. IN ALL THESE STORIES, THE BAD GUY GETS THEIRS, THE GOOD GUYS END UP ALL RIGHT AND THERE'S EVEN ONE TRULY SUBVERSIVE STORY THAT WOULD FIT RIGHT IN WITH AN ORIGINAL EC COMIC OR EVEN THE TWILIGHT ZONE. FEEL-GOOD HORROR IS A NEW EXPERIENCE FOR ME AND DAMMIT I WANT MORE. I'LL BE LOOKING OUT FOR MORE MARVEL STUFF IN THE FUTURE


LOOKIT THIS AMAZING KIRBY MINDFUCK. THERE'S A LOT OF THESE SPLASH PAGES IN HERE AND I LOVE THEM SO. ONE THING I DIDN'T REALIZE ABOUT THIS COMIC WHEN I BOUGHT IT IS THAT IT TOO, IS A REPRINT COMIC. THE STORIES ARE FROM TALES TO ASTONISH, JOURNEY INTO MYSTERY AND STRANGE TALES. THERE ARE SO MANY DAMN COMICS, GUYS. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO MAKE OF ALL OF THEM AND I AM THANKFUL FOR REPRINTS. THE OTHER THING I DIDN'T REALIZE IS THAT THE BACK COVER IS MISSING SO NO GLOSSY ADVERTISEMENTS FOR ME. AND TRUST ME THE ADVERTISEMENTS IN THIS THING ARE AS ASTONISHING AS THE COMICS. THE FRONT COVER IS SO DAMN GOOD I DON'T REALLY MIND TBH

PURCHASE #4 KID STUFF!
WHITMAN BATTLE OF THE PLANETS #6
DC PLOP! #3, #5, #6


ALMOST OUTTA CASH AT THIS POINT SO I HIT THE HALF OFF BOX AND FOUND A HELL OF A LOT OF GOODIES. HONESTLY I COULD HAVE SPENT ALL MY MONEY AT THIS TABLE AND BEEN HAPPY BUT I WAS ABLE TO EASILY FOCUS MYSELF AND ONLY GET THE STUFF I TRULY COVETED. I GUSHED OVER MY LOVE OF BATTLE OF THE PLANETS LAST CHRISTMAS AND I MAY HAVE MENTIONED SOMEWHERE THAT I REALLY WANTED ONE OF THE ORIGINAL GOLD KEY COMICS FROM BACK WHEN THE SHOW WAS ON THE AIR. WELL I FOUND ONE BUT IT WAS FROM WHITMAN INSTEAD OF GOLD KEY. WHICH MIGHT BE THE SAME THING? I DON'T REALLY KNOW THE HISTORY OF THOSE TWO PUBLISHERS BUT FROM MY KIDDIE COMIC READING DAYS I RECALL THAT GOLD KEY HAD A LOT OF THE BRAND PROPERTY COMICS FROM TV SHOWS AND MOVIES AND SUCH AND WHITMAN COMICS CATERED PURELY TO THE KIDS WITH LOWBROW FUNNY STUFF THAT NO ONE EVEN THINKS ABOUT ANYMORE. SO IT KINDA MAKES SENSE FOR WHITMAN TO PUBLISH A COMIC ADAPTATION OF A MANGLED ANIME WITH AN R2D2 RIPOFF SHOVED IN CATERING TO THE AFTERSCHOOL CROWD. AND MAYBE THERE'S ALSO A GOLD KEY VERSION? DON'T KNOW DON'T CARE, I DON'T DO VARIANTS. THE COMIC ITSELF HAS ZOLTAR BEING SCARY ON A BOAT WITH A GINORMOUS EYEBALL AND THERE'S A WHALE FOR SOME REASON? BUT IT'S COLORFUL AND G-FORCE KICKS BOOTAY AND 7-ZARK-7 SHOWS UP WITH HIS ROBOT DOG SO ALL IS RIGHT WITH THIS COMIC


 PLOP! GOTTA TALK ABOUT PLOP! SO HERE'S THE DEAL WITH PLOP! DC HAD A BUNCH OF THEIR OWN HORROR COMICS IN EC STYLE, HOUSE OF SECRETS AND HOUSE OF MYSTERY STARRING CAIN AND ABEL, AND A HANDFUL OF OTHER HORROR TITLES STARRING EVE WHO GOT BOUNCED AROUND EVERYWHERE BECAUSE DC EXECUTIVES ARE A BUNCH OF MALE CHAUVINIST PIGS. THESE COMICS ARE AWESOME AND WERE SOME OF THE FIRST BIG BOY COMICS I GOT MY HANDS ON AND I LOVED THEM AND THEY ENDED UP SPAWNING SWAMP THING AND GREATLY INFLUENCING THE SANDMAN AND THOSE ARE COMIC HALL OF FAMERS SO YOU WILL SHOW RESPECT. SO ONE DAY JOE ORLANDO DECIDED HE WANTED TO DO A HUMOR COMIC SO HE RECRUITED SERGIO ARAGONES FROM MAD AND THEY GOT INSPIRED BY A STORY IN A HOUST OF MYSTERY COMIC AND CAME UP WITH THE NAME PLOP! THROUGH SHENANIGANS AND PLOP! WAS BORN. THE BASIC CONCEPT OF PLOP! IS THAT EVE, CAIN AND ABEL ARE TELLING SCARY STORIES TO PEOPLE BUT THE STORIES ARE RIDICULOUS PARODIES OF PROPER SCARY HORROR STORIES SO THE AUDIENCE GETS MAD AND THEN PLOP! HAPPENS

I GOT MY HANDS ON A FEW ISSUES SHORTLY AFTER I ORIGINALLY FOUND THE HOUSE OF MYSTERY AND SECRETS COMICS AND IT. BLEW. MY. TINY. MIND. ALL THOSE SKEERY HORRORSTORIES THAT SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH WERE BEING MOCKED? THEY WERE BEING MADE FUN OF?? LIKE MAD MAGAZINE FOR HORRORBOOKS??? THE CONCEPT AFFECTED ME GREATLY AND IS PROBABLY RESPONSIBLE FOR A GOOD CHUNK OF MY WEIRDNESS TODAY. THE MAIN STORIES  WERE DRAWN BY GUYS LIKE ARAGONES, BERNI WRIGHTSON, STEVE SKEATES AND EVEN STEVE DITKO. IN BETWEEN EACH STORY THERE WERE A COUPLE PAGES OF GAG COMICS TO BREAK THINGS UP AND PAD OUT THE ISSUE. HONESTLY MOST OF THE GAG COMICS ARE FAIRLY WEAK BUT IT STILL SURPRISES ME TO THIS DAY HOW MEAN SPIRITED AND DARK THEY ARE FOR A KID'S COMIC. OUR MAIN TRIO EXPLAIN IN GREAT DETAIL EXACTLY WHAT IT MEANT TO BE 'PLOPPED' BY MEANS OF SERGIO ARAGONES GAGS. GETTING PLOPPED COULD MEAN ANYTHING FROM HAVING BUBBLE GUM POP ON YOUR FACE TO BEING HORRIBLE KILLED IN NUMEROUS PAINFUL WAYS. IT'S IMPORTANT TO AVOID PLOP. EVERY ISSUE SEEMED TO HAVE AT LEAST A COUPLE PAGES OF PRISONER PLOPS WHICH ESSENTIALLY BOILED DOWN TO 'HA HA, THEY'RE BEING TORTURED'. LIKE SERIOUSLY, EVERY ONE, IT WAS A REGULAR THING. THE ABSOLUTE BEST THING ABOUT PLOP! ARE BASIL WOLVERTON'S MADNESS ON THE COVER. WOLVERTON DID SEVERAL INSANE COVERS FOR PLOP! AND WALLY WOOD GOT SOME WEIRDNESS ON THE COVER AS WELL. ISSUE #3 HAS A DELIGHTFUL IMAGE OF A CONGLOMERATE OF DAMNED SOULS THAT WOULD FIT IN WELL IN A CRONENBERG FILM OR AS A DARK SOULS BOSS. YOU KNOW, FOR KIDS


HERE'S ISSUE #5 OF THE 'NEW' MAGAZINE OF WEIRD HUMOR. THOSE TOENAILS ARE EASILY THE MOST HORRIFIC THING OUT OF ALL THESE COMICS. THEY HAVE TO BE. DEAR LORD THOSE CRACKS AND CREVASSES. MY KINGDOM FOR A PODIATRIST. UNLIKE COVER #3 WHICH ONLY SHOWED THE MYSTERIOUS PLOP PLOP PLOP!!! THOUGHTS OF THE COVER BOY THING WE GET AN EXPLANATION FOR OUR NAILEY BUDDY. NAILS NITTLE LOVES TO DIG! SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE! YOU CAN HEAR HIM NOW, CAN'T YOU? THE SCRAPING! THE SCRAPING!! THE SCRAPING



I.... i have no explanation for this. none. like, really, really, no fucking idea. it is utterly bewildering. i mean, not just the fact that this cover is just a homely looking girl after the previous issues were varying levels of existential horror (search for the cover of issue #2 if you dare)(or #4, uuuuggggh). not just whatever the hell is going on with her head... just what the hell is that? the exposed brains don't even phase me, but... what the hell is that thing sticking out of her head?? what does it do??? why is it there???? no, the thing that really gets me is. it's. it's that...

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DOES FLY ME, I'M JOSEPHINE MEAN?????????

WHAT EVEN IS THAT????????????????????????

it fuckin broke me man, it's like looking at cthulhu or the BLIT parrot. my mind is messed up. why? what the hell does it mean? i tried searching for it and the only thing that even is kinda related is an old ass song about flying machines. it would make sense if josephine had some wings or some shit but she has.. a head... rudder? scoop? dear lord in heaven what the hell is that thing? and a girl asking you to fly her really doesn't seem to be appropriate for a kid's comic. oh god i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and you know what the best part of plop! is?

THERE'S A FULL SIZE PRINT OF THE COVER WEIRDNESS ON THE BACK!


HELLO MR. CRONENBERG MONSTROSITY! YOU LOOK HORRIBLE TODAY!


HOWDY NAILS! DON'T FORGET YOU HAVE A PEDICURE APPOINTMENT THIS AFTERNOON!


HI JOS- JOS'PHEE- JO- JJJJJJJJJJ *snap*

WHYYY???

WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK????

WWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?!?!?!?!?!?!1


PURCHASE THE LAST - CHEAPO BOX WEIRDNESS


WITH MY LAST DOLLAR I PICKED OUT A COUPLE OF COMICS FROM THE 2FER A BUCK BOXES. I WAS HOPING FOR INDIE GOODIES IN THE GARBAGE BOXES BUT SADLY IT WAS ALL 100% MARVEL AND DC MEN IN TIGHTS BULLSHIT. GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU WHO ENJOY THAT STUFF BUT I JUST CAN'T. I DID FIND A COUPLE SOOPER HEEROW COMMIKS THAT WERE JUST ENOUGH OFF THE MAINSTREAM TO BE INTERESTING TO ME. A BUDDY OF MINE FOUND A MOON KNIGHT MAGAZINE WHILE CLEARING OUT HIS PARENTS' BASEMENT AND GAVE IT TO ME AND IT WAS PRETTY DOPE. I HAD NEVER EVEN HEARD OF IT BEFORE THEN BUT IT CAUGHT MY ATTENTION AND I FIGURED WHY NOT TRY OUT THE COMIC VERSION. A SPECIAL EDITION EVEN. NOT SURE WHAT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE COMIC AND MAGAZINE VERSIONS ARE OTHER THAN PUBLISHERS COULD SNEAK BOOBIES IN THE MAGAZINES. EVEN WITHOUT THE BOOBIES MOON KNIGHT LOOKS PRETTY BAD ASS FIGHTING FLAMING... KNIFE... HEAD? ON THE COVER


SADLY NOT A GIANT SIZE MAN-THING BUT I CAN GET THAT WITH A SINGLE INTERNET SEARCH. THIS IS APPARENTLY THE LAST ISSUE OF MAN-THING THOUGH? GOOD TO START WITH A SERIES ON THE LAST ISSUE I GUESS. DOCTOR STRANGE IS DEAD ON THE COVER THOUGH AND I LIKE DOCTOR STRANGE. CHRIS CLAREMONT DIED TOO? AND A WIZARD AND A BIKINI ARMOR BABE AND, US, IS THAT A SATYR? AND I GUESS MAN-THING IS TRYING TO GIVE SATAN A HICKEY? IT'S A PRETTY FUCKED UP COVER IS WHAT I'M SAYING. HAVE NEVER READ ANY MAN-THING BUT I LOVE SWAMP THING AND HOWARD THE DUCK WAS BORN IN THIS SERIES SO IT LOOKS LIKE IT IS RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS. I DUNNO IF I'LL EVER GET AROUND TO READING THE WHOLE THING BECAUSE THE ORIGINS LOOK LIKE A CLUSTERFUCK WITH STORIES IN AN ANTHOLOGY HERE AND A DIFFERENT ONE THERE BEFORE GETTING A STANDALONE COMIC AND A MAGAZINE AND THEN BACK INTO SERIALS BEFORE VOLUME 2 CAME OUT AND ENDED UP WITH THE X-MEN GUY KILLING HIMSELF OFF IN HIS OWN COMIC. JESUS CHRIST IS THERE AN OMNIBUS ANYWHERE. HOLY SHIT THERE'S A 2005 MOVIE TOO?? GOTTA FIND THAT SHIT ON DAILYMOTION OR SOMESUCH

MY LONE REGRET IS NOT PICKING UP A COPY OF TOM SCIOLI'S GO-BOTS IN THE TWOFERABUCK BECAUSE I FELT AWKWARD GIVING THE GUY QUARTERS BECAUSE I WAS DEAD BROKE. GO WATCH CARTOONIST KAYFABE, IT'S AWESOME AND A MAJOR REASON I'M READING TRASHY COMICS INSTEAD OF WRITING POSTS ABOUT BASEBALL CARDS

IF YOU WANT MOAR COMIX YELL AT ME IN THE COMMENTS AND I'LL REVIEW SOME IN MORE DETAIL. YO, THAT FEAR COMIC IS INSAAAAANE

Sunday, July 21, 2019

Hall of Fame - Tim Raines

WASN'T IT SO AMAZING WHEN WE ALL YELLED FOR A DECADE AND THE HALL OF FAME VOTERS FINALLY NOTICED AT THE LAST MINUTE AND LET TIM IN AND THEN WE JUST KEPT ON YELLING EVEN LOUDER AND NOW EDGAR'S IN! TIME TO START YELLING FOR FRED MCGRIFF!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! PUT HIM IN YOU BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!! THE POWER OF TOM EMANSKI COMPELS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CHOSE ALL SUPER-RETRO STUFF FOR TIM BECAUSE I FELT LIKE IT

dzfgbdfgfdgfd <--- any="" because="" can="" draft="" editing="" folder="" from="" get="" i="" lazy="" my="" not="" of="" out="" p="" posts="" scanner="" the="" these="" to="" work="">

SCREW IT I'M LEAVING THIS GLITCH
1985 DONRUSS ALL-STARS


THIS POST IS 100% INSERT AND RELIC CARD FREE, ODDBALL EXPOS ONLY.

I LOVE THESE JUMBO SIZED DONRUSS ALL STAR SETS AND I'D LIKE TO BUILD ALL THE SETS EXCEPT YOU CAN BUY THE COMPLETE SET FOR A COUPLE BUCKS SO YOU'RE RIPPING PACKS ONLY FOR THE PUZZLE PIECES AND ALL-STAR STAND-UPS WITH THE METRODOME IN THE BACKGROUND. I DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT THIS SET THOUGH BECAUSE IN THE MID-80S DONRUSS SOLD FUN PACKS FOR A BUCK AND A HALF THAT WERE PRETTY MUCH NOTHING BUT MISCUT 1981 PACKS THEY FOUND IN THE BACK OF A WAREHOUSE AND THESE PACKS. I BOUGHT A TON OF THEM AND HAVE ABOUT 8 COMPLETE SETS ROTTING IN MY BASEMENT NOW. I DON'T CARE BECAUSE IN THE 80S A WHITE GRID ON A BLACK BACKGROUND WAS FUTURISTIC AS FUCK. THIS SET MAKES TRON LOOK LIKE A VICTORIAN PERIOD PIECE. TIM RAINES IS FLOATING INSIDE A COMPUTERY GRID. AND THERE'S ANOTHER TIM GLOWING WITH TECH POWER FLOATING ON TOP OF TIM BECAUSE COMPUTERS!!!!!1 THAT'S HOW I SAW THIS CARD BACK THEN. NOW AS WE ALL KNOW COMPUTERS ARE VERY BAD


I ALSO LIKE HOW THESE BACKS OF THE ALL STAR SETS ARE BASICALLY REGULAR DONRUSS BACKS THAT ARE ALL JACKED UP ON STEROIDS. LOOKIT THOSE STATS!!!!! THIS IS BASEBALL-REFERENCE-DOT-COM IN 1985. FIELDING AVERAGE??? SUCH LUXURY. AND EVERYTHING ELSE ON THE CARD GETS ITS OWN LITTLE WORLD TO LIVE IN. GIGANTIC NAME AND BIG, EASY TO READ CARD NUMBER GETS THE LIVING ROOM. BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION IS SHOVED INTO THE UTILITY CLOSET BECAUSE YOU DON'T REALLY CARE BUT IT'S THERE WHEN YOU NEED IT. STATS IN THE KITCHEN BECAUSE ALL THE GOOD STUFF IS ALWAYS IN THE KITCHEN. CONTRACT STATUS GETS THE KID'S BEDROOM BECAUSE IT WASN'T IMPORTANT BACK THEN BUT IT SURE DID GROW UP TO BE A MONSTER NOWADAYS. CAREER HIGHLIGHTS GET TO STRETCH OUT IN THE SPACIOUS MASTER BEDROOM. NO BATHROOM BECAUSE POOPING IS FOR PEOPLE, NOT BASEBALL CARDS

1987-88 FLEER STAR STICKERS


FLEER STAR STICKERS, WHERE FLEER CARD DESIGNERS COULD SNORT ALL THE COKE AND JUST GO NUTS. HOW MANY TRADING CARD SETS HAD A PRIMARY COLOR SCHEME OF GREEN AND YELLOW. NOT VERY MANY, I'M GUESSING. ONLY ONE I CAN THINK OF OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD IS THE TOPPS INDIANA JONES SET. THERE SHOULD BE MORE OAKLAND A'S SETS OUT THERE! 2020 TOPPS SHOULD GO FULL SWINGIN' A'S GREEN AND GOLD EVERYWHERE. BUT THE DESIGNERS DIDN'T JUST STOP THERE, OH NO.... RED AND WHITE BANNERS DRAPED ALL OVER EVERYTHING! WITH STARS!!!! GOTTA HAVE STARS ON THE STAR STICKERS. BACK IS THE SAME OLD FLEER JUNK BUT GREEN AND YELLOW WHICH IS ENOUGH TO MAKE IT AMAZING. WHAT MONSTER WOULD BEND AND PEEL THIS



FOR THE 88 SET I FEEL LIKE MOST OF THE DESIGN TEAM GOT CLEAN AND SOBER AND WERE BRAINSTORMING AND AGREED ON '1970 TOPPS RIPOFF' WHEN THAT GUY WHO WAS A REALLY BAD INFLUENCE CHARGED IN SCREAMING 'STARS!!!!! MULTICOLORED STARS!!!!!! EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' AND EVERYONE FELL OFF THE WAGON. LIVES WERE DESTROYED. THAT GUY DIDN'T EVEN WORK FOR FLEER ANYMORE, HE JUST RAN IN THE BUILDING. DEFINITELY NAKED AND MAYBE ON FIRE. THE SOMBER BLACK AND WHITE BACK COMMEMORATES THE DEAD. THE RED, THE BLOOD SPILLED. THE HAPPY SUN AND MOON LOGOS, WELL, THOSE ARE JUST CUTE.

THIS IS SUPPOSEDLY A POST ABOUT TIM RAINES THOUGH SO LET'S LOOK AT THOSE STATS. .300 AVERAGE FOR YEARS. AVERAGE IS MEANINGLESS, YOU SAY. HOWZABOUT MORE WALKS THAN STRIKEOUTS, CHECK OUT DEM ON BASE AVERAGES. OH YEAH, OVER 500 STEALS MEANS A WALK IS BASICALLY A DOUBLE. AND TIM'S GOT THIRTY OF THOSE A YEAR AS WELL. OH AND HE CAN POKE A HOMER OVER THE WALL OCCASIONALLY. TIM RAINES IS THE MAN. I WANT TO STICK HIM ON MY TRAPPER KEEPER BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE THE CARD IS TOO COOL

1985 TOPPS RUB-OFFS

I WISH I COULD FIND A BOX OF THESE SO I COULD RIP IT AND BUILD A SET AND MAKE BEAUTIFUL PICTURES WITH ALL THE DOUBLES. I'M GUESSING ANYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 42 HAS NO CLUE WHAT THESE THINGS ARE. BASICALLY: THEY'RE DECALS WHERE YOU ATTACH THE IMAGE BY PLACING THE PLASTIC 'CARD' ON TOP OF THE PAPER AND THEN USE A PEN OR PENCIL TO RUB THE IMAGE OFF THE PLASTIC AND ONTO THE PAGE WHERE IT STICKS FOREVER. I SUPPOSE YOU COULD USE A COIN OR FINGERNAIL TO TRANSFER THE IMAGE BUT IT'S FAR MORE SATISFYING TO SCRIBBLE ON THE PLASTIC WITH A PENCIL OR PEN. BALLPOINT, NOT FELT. FELT PENS WON'T WORK. IF YOU DON'T PUT ENOUGH PRESSURE THE IMAGE WON'T STICK AND YOU'LL END UP WITH BUBBLES AND TEARS IN TIM RAINES' DACE AND THAT WOULD BE TERRIBLE. THIS EXPLANATION DIDN'T HELP AT ALL, DID IT. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, JUST THINK ABOUT THE TOTAL WAR ON THIS TRANSFER SHEET. THREE HALL OF FAMERS AND A GUY WHO HAD A GREAT CAREER, ONE PLAY NOTWITHSTANDING. HERE'S A CONTEST: GUESS THE TOTAL WAR OF THESE FOUR PLAYERS IN THE COMMENTS AND THE WINNER GETS TO BUY A BOX OF THIS STUFF AND SHIP IT TO ME SO I CAN MAKE PRETTY PICTURES WITH BILL BUCKNER'S FACE. INCLUDE A SASE AND I MIGHT SEND YOU A PRETTY PICTURE

I'M MOSTLY KIDDING ABOUT THIS

I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING IDIOTIC TO SAY ABOUT THE BACK. IF YOU DO GET YOUR HANDS ON ONE OF THESE CARDS(?) AND WANT TO MAKE YOUR OWN ARTWORK YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL. THERE'S A THIN SHEET OF PROTECTIVE PAPER ON THE BACK, PROBABLY TO KEEP THE IMAGES FROM STICKING TO THE OTHER CARDS IN THE PACK ACCIDENTALLY. REMOVE THAT THIN PROTECTIVE SHEET! UNLESS YOU WANT TIM TO BE STUCK TO THAT SHEET INSTEAD OF THE PAPER AFTER SCRIBBLING ALL OVER IT.

1990 FLEER BASEBALL MVP


WHY DID I SCAN SO MANY CARDS? WHAT WAS I THINKING? THIS IS A WEIRD ONE FOR ME BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE I SAW NOT EVEN ONE OF THESE FORMERLY UBIQUITOUS FLEER BOX SETS FOR SALE AFTER 1988. I DON'T KNOW IF PRODUCTION WAS CUT OR IF THEY GOT BOUGHT UP IMMEDIATELY BY SPECULATORS OR IF I JUST IGNORED THEM BECAUSE I ALWAYS BOUGHT THEM ON DEEP CLEARANCE. MY BRAIN HAS TROUBLE PROCESSING THE LEFT TO RIGHT GRADIENT, OH SWEET A BLACK BORDERED SET......OOOOH NO IT ISN'T.


BACK IS BORING, EVEN THE Melb LOGO. NEXT

1988 FLEER SUPERSTARS

I KINDA LIKE WHEN A SPECIAL COLLECTOR SET IS JUST A SLIGHT VARIATION OF THE BASE SET DESIGN. THE CARD LOOKS CLASSY AND TIM LOOKS HAPPY. LET'S END ON A HAPPY NOTE.

THAT'S ALL, THERE IS NO MORE. HAPPY INDUCTION WEEKEND!

Hall of Fame - Ivan Rodriguez

OH GOD, THIS POST IS A MESS. I DIDN'T WRITE ANYTHING FOR IT EITHER. AND I'M SUPER BUSY TODAY. OH WELL, GOTTA SUCK IT UP AND GET THIS ISH DONE. IVAN HO!!!!!!!!

fxghjxfghjhsgfhsgh HTML EXPLODED MY EXPLANATION SO ALWAYS WONDER ABOUT WHAT THIS IS
1993 UPPER DECK


HOLY CRAP LOOK AT THIS CARD

LOOK AT IT

THIS IS WHY 1993 UPPER DECK IS THE BEST OF THE 90S.

NO ARGUMENTS

HALL OF FAME CARD FOR A HALL OF FAME PUDGE


WHEN I WAS A KID ONE OF MY FAVORITE PLAYERS WAS CARLTON FISK PROBABLY BECAUSE I WAS MILDLY OBSESSED WITH HIS 1981 TOPPS CARD. WAS A BIG ENOUGH FAN TO UNOFFICIALLY ADOPT THE WHITE SOX AS MY AMERICAN LEAGUE TEAM FOR A WHILE. FISK'S NICKNAME WAS PUDGE AND WHEN I FOUND OUT IVAN'S NICKNAME WAS ALSO PUDGE HE ALSO BECAME A FAVORITE. ALSO REALLY LIKED RUBEN SIERRA BUT I NEVER CONSIDERED THE RANGERS AS MY AMERICAN LEAGUE TEAM. WHY NO, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WRITE ABOUT BASEBALL CARDS ANYMORE, WHY DO YOU ASK


1992 FLEER ROOKIE SENSATIONS


I DIDN'T PUT THE SCANS IN ORDER EITHER SO SHOWING THE BACK FIRST BECAUSE WHY NOT? THESE CARDS WERE CAR-AAAAAAA-ZY BACK IN '92 BECAUSE THEY WERE ONLY FOUND IN THE BIG FAT JUMBO PACKS YOU COULD ONLY FIND AT THE ECKERD ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN AND THERE WERE NO ODDS ON THE PACKS BACK THEN SO NO ONE KNEW IF THEY WERE IN EVERY OTHER PACK OR IF YOU'D HAVE TO BUY THE WHOLE DISPLAY AND MAYBE STILL WOULDN'T GET ONE. NO ONE WENT CRAZY OVER THE TEAM LEADER CARDS THOUGH AND THEY WERE EVEN HARDER TO FIND BUT THEY WEREN'T ROOKIES I GUESS. NOT THAT ANY OF THESE THINGS WERE ROOKIE CARDS, EVERY LOST THEIR MINDS FOR THE FRANK THOMAS CARD AND HIS ROOKIE WAS IN 1990.


MAAAAN THIS WAS A GOOD LOOKIN SET. DEM BLUE BORDERS. NICE UNOBSTRUCTED PHOTO. DAT CLASSY GOLD FOIL BEFORE IT GOT ENCRUSTED ALL OVER EVERYTHING. I KNOW 1992 FLEER ISN'T A FAVORITE DUE TO ITS DESIGN BUT FACTOR IN THE INSERT SETS AND IT'S A PRETTY NICE ONE TO COLLECT. ESPECIALLY NOW THAT THESE ONCE MIGHTY ROOKIE SENSATIONS CAN BE FOUND IN DIME BOXES. THIS ONE IS A HIGH-PRICED ITEM THOUGH, I HAD TO GO TO THE QUARTER BOXES TO GET IT

1998 SCORE/PINNACLE EPIX


FLEER IS CLASSY, SCORE IS SHIIIIIIIIINY. EPIX IS A GLORIOUS CLUSTERFUCK OF AN INSERT SET THAT IS SPREAD ACROSS SEVERAL PRODUCTS WITH EACH CARD GETTING FOUR DIFFERENT VARIATIONS THAT CAN BE FOUND IN THREE DIFFERENT COLORS. DIFFERENT VARIATIONS CAN BE FOUND IN DIFFERENT PRODUCTS BUT ONY ONE VARIATION PER PRODUCT AND DIFFERENT PLAYERS CAN HAVE DIFFERENT VARIATIONS IN THE SAME PRODUCT EXCEPT FOR THE MOMENTS CARDS WHICH WERE ALL INSERTED INTO ONE SINGLE PRODUCT, ALBEIT THE FIRST HALF OF THE SET IN ONE PRODUCT AND THEN THE SECOND HALF IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PRODUCT AND I DON'T THINK ANYONE KNOWS IF THERE'S ANY RARITY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ORANGE, PURPLE AND GREEN CARDS. MAKES SENSE, RIGHT? I SOMEHOW PULLED TWO IVAN ORANGES OUT OF DIFFERENT SERIES SCORE PACKS AND I'M UNREASONABLY PROUD OF THIS FACT


SOMEHOW THE BACKS ARE AS CRAZY AS THE FRONTS, NO MEAN FEAT WITH THAT DAZZLING HOLOFOIL MESS ON THE OTHER SIDE. THE HIGHLIGHTS LISTED ON THESE CARDS ARE AMAZING AS WELL AS THEY COMMEMORATE PUDGE BREAKING A RECORD SET BY MICKEY FRICKIN COCHRANE AND SOMEHOW PARTICIPATING IN AN ALL STAR GAME THAT THE AMERICAN LEAGUE LOST

2002 DONRUSS FAN CLUB FRANCHISE FEATURES MATERIALS


GOTTA SHOW OFF THE LAUNDRY I GUESS
THIS WAS FROM A TERRIBLE SET CALLED FAN CLUB WHICH WAS UGLY AND HAD SHORT PRINTS AND A CHROMIUM STYLE PARALLEL SET. BUT IT ALSO HAD BIG THICK RELIC CARDS BASED ON UGLY INSERTS AND SOME OF THOSE RELIC CARD HAD PRETTY BLUE SWATCHES SO I GUESS IT'S NOT ALL BAD



NO PICTURE OF THE ACTUAL JERSEY ON THE BACK THIS TIME. THE PICTURE ON THE FRONT IS THE SAME COLOR AS THE SWATCH AT LEAST. BIG-ASS TEAM LOGOS AND THAT UBIQUITOUS SERIAL NUMBER FONT GIVE ME THE HAPPY GROOVIES AS WELL. EVEN UGLY CARDS CAN BE BEAUTIFUL

TIM TOMORROW UNLESS I SLEEP ALL DAY, THEN IT'LL BE MONDAY MAYBE
I'LL SHOOT FOR TOMORROW

Saturday, July 20, 2019

Hall of Fame - Jeff Bagwell

IT'S HALL OF FAME WEEKEND APPARENTLY. I HAVEN'T REALLY KNOWN WHAT MONTH IT IS FOR SEVERAL OF THE PAST MONTHS SO IT KINDA SNUCK UP ON ME. I'M GUESSING I HAVE SCANS OF THIS YEAR'S INDUCTEES SOMEWHERE ON MY HARD DRIVE BUT I'M TOO LAZY TO SEARCH FOR THEM. INSTEAD! HERE ARE POSTS IN MY DRAFT FOLDER FROM THE 2017 CLASS THAT I HALFWAY DID AND NEVER POSTED FOR SOME REASON. WAS IT TOO BUSY? WAS IT TOO LAZY? WAS IT SIMPLY APATHY? WE'LL NEVER KNOW!!! BUT I AM POSTING THEM NOW BECAUSE I'VE GONE ALL QUIRKY. YOU CAN DIFFERENTIATE WHAT I WROTE BACK THEN FROM WHAT I AM WRITING RIGHT THIS EXACT SECOND BECAUSE I WASN'T ALL YELLY IN 2017. WELL I KINDA WAS BUT NOT ONLINE. ENJOY

It's The National weekend!!! Why aren't you up in Chicago blowing thousands of dollars on pieces of cardboard?!? Oh, you're broke ass broke like me? Well OK then. It's Hall of Fame induction weekend too, we can enjoy that while sitting our asses at home. I've dug up some oldie moldie cards to honor the newest inductees.

1992 Donruss Diamond Kings


Some of y'all weren't born when this card came out so let me try to explain how big a deal it was back then. 1991-1992 was a weird time for baseball cards. Most companies were still in 1980s mode with their base card designs, but premium sets like Stadium Club and Pinnacle were popping up and getting a lot of collector attention. After an abysmal looking design in '91, Donruss gussied up the 1992 set, making it look more like their Leaf product and turned the long-running Diamond Kings subset into a full bleed glossy insert set. And people lost their minds chasing that Bagwell. The first boxes came out a couple weeks before Christmas in 1991 and I spent every last dime I had ripping packs trying to pull just one Diamond King, I didn't. Not till after Christmas anyway. Nowadays you can get the whole set for a few bucks (or pull it all out of dime and quarter boxes if you're willing to dig) but it's still one of the best looking insert sets of the 90s.



1995 Fleer Pro-Visions


Sticking with the Art theme for this post. I know everyone loathes the 1995 Fleer set and I really can't blame you. The base card designs range from ludicrous to hideous and the set as a whole is possibly the busiest and most confusing designs ever put on a mainstream base product. I'm not going to deny this, I'm just going to say look at the whole picture. 1995 was in the middle of Fleer's 'Insert in every pack' phases and while the base set is a mess the insert cards were very clean looking and well designed. The mess of a base set wasn't just a mess, it was a conscious design choice meant to flip the script on the trope of the boring looking base card and creatively weird inserts. So it didn't work out that well, at least they tried something new. Better than long runs of sets that all look alike (yes I'm talking about you, twenty first century Topps designs).

The Pro-Visions inserts had been around since 1991 and in '95 they were full bleed with a design that connected through all six cards in the series. The fronts are creative artwork and the backs are pure 90s purple and teal swirly cheese. Next time someone says the 1995 Fleer set sucks, show 'em Jeff Bagwell smashing the goddamn Space Shuttle out of the park and see how fast they shut up.



2003 Donruss Jersey Kings


OH MAH GAWD ITZ BEEG MOJO HEETZ USING RECYCLED ART FROM 1991 BACK WHEN USED LAUNDRY CARDS WEREN'T WORTHLESS GARBAGE CLUTTERING UP DOLLAR BOXEN. I'M BEING CYNICAL BUT THIS CARD IS FUCKIN SWEET. THICK AS A BRICK, NICE DARK SWATCH FOR US GOTHY COLLECTORS, LOVELY ART AND ONE OF THE LESS-TERRIBLE DESIGNS FOR THE MID-AUGHTS



AND CHECK THIS SHIT OUT, A PICTURE OF THE ACTUAL EXACT JERSEY THAT JEFF SWEATED ALL OVER IN AN OFFICIAL MAJOR LEAGUE GAME OF BASE AND BALLS  THE DIRTY RAG PIECE CAME FROM, GUARANTEED. NONE OF THIS 'THIS SWATCH CAME FROM SOMEWHERE, SOME PLACE, SOMEHOW, PROBABLY, I MEAN THERE'S AN ACTUAL PIECE OF CLOTH EMBEDDED IN THE CARD ISN'T THERE? QUIT BITCHING, THIS IS YOUR GUARANTEED HIT FROM THE BOX, NO REFUNDS' DISCLAIMERS WE GET NOWADAYS. LOOKIT THAT BEAUTIFUL JERSEY THAT WAS SHREDDED TO BITS SO 100 OF THESE CARDS COULD GET MADE


1997 PINNACLE INSIDE DUELING DUGOUTS



YELLING DURING THE CARD DESCRIPTIONS TOO, IDGAF. THIS IS A RIDICULOUS INSERT WITH AN EMBEDDED SPINNY STAT WHEEL THAT CAME OUT OF A LUDICROUS PRODUCT THAT PUT A FLAT, RECTANGULAR PACK OF CARDS INSIDE A ROUND, CYLINDRICAL TIN CAN BECAUSE THE LATE 90S WERE FUCKIN CRAZY, MAN. THE WHEEL HAS SEVERAL YEARS OF SPINNY STATS WHAT YOU CAN SPIN TO SEE THE DIFFERENT SEASONS OF STAT SPINS. MY HEAD IS SPINNING. IT'S LATE AND I NEED TO POST THIS QUICK BEFORE I PASS OUT BUT I SCANNED ALL FIVE YEARS OF STATS FOR BAGWEEL AND I GOTTA COMMENT ON ALL OF THEM. HA HA BAG WHEEL. MY DEMENTED MIND MAKES PUNS I DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT.

THE WHEEL STARTS WITH 1992, HIS SOPHOMORE SEASON THAT MORE OR LESS MATCHED HIS ROOKIE OF THE YEAR CAMPAIGN, JUST WITH A FEW MORE BOPS AND RIBBIES AND A LITTLE PROP IN HIS AVERAGE AND ON BASE PERCENTAGE


YEAR THREE, COUPLE MORE HOMERS, COUPLE FEWER RBIS, WAY BETTER AVERAGE. A TASTE OF WHAT'S TO COME


1994 HOLY SHIT. TY COBBIAN AVERAGE, BABE RUTHIAN HOMERS AND RBIS ARE A SILLY STAT BUT HE HAD A TON OF EM. IMAGINE WHAT THIS WOULD LOOK LIKE WITH ANOTHER MONTH OF GAMES. BURN IN HELL BUD SELIG


OH NO, A SLUMP. A SLUMP FOR JEFF BAGWELL IS 4.9 WAR AND A BETTER SEASON THAN HIS ROOKIE OF THE YEAR CAMPAIGN


1996, AH JEFF IS BACK. THE FIRST OF 6 STRAIGHT SEASONS OF OVER 5 WAR. IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WAR YOU SURE AS HELL UNDERSTAND .315/31/120 I BETCHA


BACK OF THE CARD HAS 1996 MVP AND BRAVES LEGEND KEN CAMINITI. REST IN PEACE KEN AND SAY HI TO JIM BOUTON AND DON MOSSI FOR ME

*LOUD SOB*

YELL AT ME IF I DON'T POST IVAN TOMORROW, I'M SERIOUS ABOUT THIS