I have no idea how to create pages but I'll figure it out eventually godammit

Sunday, July 21, 2019

Hall of Fame - Tim Raines

WASN'T IT SO AMAZING WHEN WE ALL YELLED FOR A DECADE AND THE HALL OF FAME VOTERS FINALLY NOTICED AT THE LAST MINUTE AND LET TIM IN AND THEN WE JUST KEPT ON YELLING EVEN LOUDER AND NOW EDGAR'S IN! TIME TO START YELLING FOR FRED MCGRIFF!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! PUT HIM IN YOU BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!! THE POWER OF TOM EMANSKI COMPELS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CHOSE ALL SUPER-RETRO STUFF FOR TIM BECAUSE I FELT LIKE IT

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SCREW IT I'M LEAVING THIS GLITCH
1985 DONRUSS ALL-STARS


THIS POST IS 100% INSERT AND RELIC CARD FREE, ODDBALL EXPOS ONLY.

I LOVE THESE JUMBO SIZED DONRUSS ALL STAR SETS AND I'D LIKE TO BUILD ALL THE SETS EXCEPT YOU CAN BUY THE COMPLETE SET FOR A COUPLE BUCKS SO YOU'RE RIPPING PACKS ONLY FOR THE PUZZLE PIECES AND ALL-STAR STAND-UPS WITH THE METRODOME IN THE BACKGROUND. I DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT THIS SET THOUGH BECAUSE IN THE MID-80S DONRUSS SOLD FUN PACKS FOR A BUCK AND A HALF THAT WERE PRETTY MUCH NOTHING BUT MISCUT 1981 PACKS THEY FOUND IN THE BACK OF A WAREHOUSE AND THESE PACKS. I BOUGHT A TON OF THEM AND HAVE ABOUT 8 COMPLETE SETS ROTTING IN MY BASEMENT NOW. I DON'T CARE BECAUSE IN THE 80S A WHITE GRID ON A BLACK BACKGROUND WAS FUTURISTIC AS FUCK. THIS SET MAKES TRON LOOK LIKE A VICTORIAN PERIOD PIECE. TIM RAINES IS FLOATING INSIDE A COMPUTERY GRID. AND THERE'S ANOTHER TIM GLOWING WITH TECH POWER FLOATING ON TOP OF TIM BECAUSE COMPUTERS!!!!!1 THAT'S HOW I SAW THIS CARD BACK THEN. NOW AS WE ALL KNOW COMPUTERS ARE VERY BAD


I ALSO LIKE HOW THESE BACKS OF THE ALL STAR SETS ARE BASICALLY REGULAR DONRUSS BACKS THAT ARE ALL JACKED UP ON STEROIDS. LOOKIT THOSE STATS!!!!! THIS IS BASEBALL-REFERENCE-DOT-COM IN 1985. FIELDING AVERAGE??? SUCH LUXURY. AND EVERYTHING ELSE ON THE CARD GETS ITS OWN LITTLE WORLD TO LIVE IN. GIGANTIC NAME AND BIG, EASY TO READ CARD NUMBER GETS THE LIVING ROOM. BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION IS SHOVED INTO THE UTILITY CLOSET BECAUSE YOU DON'T REALLY CARE BUT IT'S THERE WHEN YOU NEED IT. STATS IN THE KITCHEN BECAUSE ALL THE GOOD STUFF IS ALWAYS IN THE KITCHEN. CONTRACT STATUS GETS THE KID'S BEDROOM BECAUSE IT WASN'T IMPORTANT BACK THEN BUT IT SURE DID GROW UP TO BE A MONSTER NOWADAYS. CAREER HIGHLIGHTS GET TO STRETCH OUT IN THE SPACIOUS MASTER BEDROOM. NO BATHROOM BECAUSE POOPING IS FOR PEOPLE, NOT BASEBALL CARDS

1987-88 FLEER STAR STICKERS


FLEER STAR STICKERS, WHERE FLEER CARD DESIGNERS COULD SNORT ALL THE COKE AND JUST GO NUTS. HOW MANY TRADING CARD SETS HAD A PRIMARY COLOR SCHEME OF GREEN AND YELLOW. NOT VERY MANY, I'M GUESSING. ONLY ONE I CAN THINK OF OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD IS THE TOPPS INDIANA JONES SET. THERE SHOULD BE MORE OAKLAND A'S SETS OUT THERE! 2020 TOPPS SHOULD GO FULL SWINGIN' A'S GREEN AND GOLD EVERYWHERE. BUT THE DESIGNERS DIDN'T JUST STOP THERE, OH NO.... RED AND WHITE BANNERS DRAPED ALL OVER EVERYTHING! WITH STARS!!!! GOTTA HAVE STARS ON THE STAR STICKERS. BACK IS THE SAME OLD FLEER JUNK BUT GREEN AND YELLOW WHICH IS ENOUGH TO MAKE IT AMAZING. WHAT MONSTER WOULD BEND AND PEEL THIS



FOR THE 88 SET I FEEL LIKE MOST OF THE DESIGN TEAM GOT CLEAN AND SOBER AND WERE BRAINSTORMING AND AGREED ON '1970 TOPPS RIPOFF' WHEN THAT GUY WHO WAS A REALLY BAD INFLUENCE CHARGED IN SCREAMING 'STARS!!!!! MULTICOLORED STARS!!!!!! EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' AND EVERYONE FELL OFF THE WAGON. LIVES WERE DESTROYED. THAT GUY DIDN'T EVEN WORK FOR FLEER ANYMORE, HE JUST RAN IN THE BUILDING. DEFINITELY NAKED AND MAYBE ON FIRE. THE SOMBER BLACK AND WHITE BACK COMMEMORATES THE DEAD. THE RED, THE BLOOD SPILLED. THE HAPPY SUN AND MOON LOGOS, WELL, THOSE ARE JUST CUTE.

THIS IS SUPPOSEDLY A POST ABOUT TIM RAINES THOUGH SO LET'S LOOK AT THOSE STATS. .300 AVERAGE FOR YEARS. AVERAGE IS MEANINGLESS, YOU SAY. HOWZABOUT MORE WALKS THAN STRIKEOUTS, CHECK OUT DEM ON BASE AVERAGES. OH YEAH, OVER 500 STEALS MEANS A WALK IS BASICALLY A DOUBLE. AND TIM'S GOT THIRTY OF THOSE A YEAR AS WELL. OH AND HE CAN POKE A HOMER OVER THE WALL OCCASIONALLY. TIM RAINES IS THE MAN. I WANT TO STICK HIM ON MY TRAPPER KEEPER BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE THE CARD IS TOO COOL

1985 TOPPS RUB-OFFS

I WISH I COULD FIND A BOX OF THESE SO I COULD RIP IT AND BUILD A SET AND MAKE BEAUTIFUL PICTURES WITH ALL THE DOUBLES. I'M GUESSING ANYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 42 HAS NO CLUE WHAT THESE THINGS ARE. BASICALLY: THEY'RE DECALS WHERE YOU ATTACH THE IMAGE BY PLACING THE PLASTIC 'CARD' ON TOP OF THE PAPER AND THEN USE A PEN OR PENCIL TO RUB THE IMAGE OFF THE PLASTIC AND ONTO THE PAGE WHERE IT STICKS FOREVER. I SUPPOSE YOU COULD USE A COIN OR FINGERNAIL TO TRANSFER THE IMAGE BUT IT'S FAR MORE SATISFYING TO SCRIBBLE ON THE PLASTIC WITH A PENCIL OR PEN. BALLPOINT, NOT FELT. FELT PENS WON'T WORK. IF YOU DON'T PUT ENOUGH PRESSURE THE IMAGE WON'T STICK AND YOU'LL END UP WITH BUBBLES AND TEARS IN TIM RAINES' DACE AND THAT WOULD BE TERRIBLE. THIS EXPLANATION DIDN'T HELP AT ALL, DID IT. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, JUST THINK ABOUT THE TOTAL WAR ON THIS TRANSFER SHEET. THREE HALL OF FAMERS AND A GUY WHO HAD A GREAT CAREER, ONE PLAY NOTWITHSTANDING. HERE'S A CONTEST: GUESS THE TOTAL WAR OF THESE FOUR PLAYERS IN THE COMMENTS AND THE WINNER GETS TO BUY A BOX OF THIS STUFF AND SHIP IT TO ME SO I CAN MAKE PRETTY PICTURES WITH BILL BUCKNER'S FACE. INCLUDE A SASE AND I MIGHT SEND YOU A PRETTY PICTURE

I'M MOSTLY KIDDING ABOUT THIS

I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING IDIOTIC TO SAY ABOUT THE BACK. IF YOU DO GET YOUR HANDS ON ONE OF THESE CARDS(?) AND WANT TO MAKE YOUR OWN ARTWORK YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL. THERE'S A THIN SHEET OF PROTECTIVE PAPER ON THE BACK, PROBABLY TO KEEP THE IMAGES FROM STICKING TO THE OTHER CARDS IN THE PACK ACCIDENTALLY. REMOVE THAT THIN PROTECTIVE SHEET! UNLESS YOU WANT TIM TO BE STUCK TO THAT SHEET INSTEAD OF THE PAPER AFTER SCRIBBLING ALL OVER IT.

1990 FLEER BASEBALL MVP


WHY DID I SCAN SO MANY CARDS? WHAT WAS I THINKING? THIS IS A WEIRD ONE FOR ME BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE I SAW NOT EVEN ONE OF THESE FORMERLY UBIQUITOUS FLEER BOX SETS FOR SALE AFTER 1988. I DON'T KNOW IF PRODUCTION WAS CUT OR IF THEY GOT BOUGHT UP IMMEDIATELY BY SPECULATORS OR IF I JUST IGNORED THEM BECAUSE I ALWAYS BOUGHT THEM ON DEEP CLEARANCE. MY BRAIN HAS TROUBLE PROCESSING THE LEFT TO RIGHT GRADIENT, OH SWEET A BLACK BORDERED SET......OOOOH NO IT ISN'T.


BACK IS BORING, EVEN THE Melb LOGO. NEXT

1988 FLEER SUPERSTARS

I KINDA LIKE WHEN A SPECIAL COLLECTOR SET IS JUST A SLIGHT VARIATION OF THE BASE SET DESIGN. THE CARD LOOKS CLASSY AND TIM LOOKS HAPPY. LET'S END ON A HAPPY NOTE.

THAT'S ALL, THERE IS NO MORE. HAPPY INDUCTION WEEKEND!

Hall of Fame - Ivan Rodriguez

OH GOD, THIS POST IS A MESS. I DIDN'T WRITE ANYTHING FOR IT EITHER. AND I'M SUPER BUSY TODAY. OH WELL, GOTTA SUCK IT UP AND GET THIS ISH DONE. IVAN HO!!!!!!!!

fxghjxfghjhsgfhsgh HTML EXPLODED MY EXPLANATION SO ALWAYS WONDER ABOUT WHAT THIS IS
1993 UPPER DECK


HOLY CRAP LOOK AT THIS CARD

LOOK AT IT

THIS IS WHY 1993 UPPER DECK IS THE BEST OF THE 90S.

NO ARGUMENTS

HALL OF FAME CARD FOR A HALL OF FAME PUDGE


WHEN I WAS A KID ONE OF MY FAVORITE PLAYERS WAS CARLTON FISK PROBABLY BECAUSE I WAS MILDLY OBSESSED WITH HIS 1981 TOPPS CARD. WAS A BIG ENOUGH FAN TO UNOFFICIALLY ADOPT THE WHITE SOX AS MY AMERICAN LEAGUE TEAM FOR A WHILE. FISK'S NICKNAME WAS PUDGE AND WHEN I FOUND OUT IVAN'S NICKNAME WAS ALSO PUDGE HE ALSO BECAME A FAVORITE. ALSO REALLY LIKED RUBEN SIERRA BUT I NEVER CONSIDERED THE RANGERS AS MY AMERICAN LEAGUE TEAM. WHY NO, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WRITE ABOUT BASEBALL CARDS ANYMORE, WHY DO YOU ASK


1992 FLEER ROOKIE SENSATIONS


I DIDN'T PUT THE SCANS IN ORDER EITHER SO SHOWING THE BACK FIRST BECAUSE WHY NOT? THESE CARDS WERE CAR-AAAAAAA-ZY BACK IN '92 BECAUSE THEY WERE ONLY FOUND IN THE BIG FAT JUMBO PACKS YOU COULD ONLY FIND AT THE ECKERD ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN AND THERE WERE NO ODDS ON THE PACKS BACK THEN SO NO ONE KNEW IF THEY WERE IN EVERY OTHER PACK OR IF YOU'D HAVE TO BUY THE WHOLE DISPLAY AND MAYBE STILL WOULDN'T GET ONE. NO ONE WENT CRAZY OVER THE TEAM LEADER CARDS THOUGH AND THEY WERE EVEN HARDER TO FIND BUT THEY WEREN'T ROOKIES I GUESS. NOT THAT ANY OF THESE THINGS WERE ROOKIE CARDS, EVERY LOST THEIR MINDS FOR THE FRANK THOMAS CARD AND HIS ROOKIE WAS IN 1990.


MAAAAN THIS WAS A GOOD LOOKIN SET. DEM BLUE BORDERS. NICE UNOBSTRUCTED PHOTO. DAT CLASSY GOLD FOIL BEFORE IT GOT ENCRUSTED ALL OVER EVERYTHING. I KNOW 1992 FLEER ISN'T A FAVORITE DUE TO ITS DESIGN BUT FACTOR IN THE INSERT SETS AND IT'S A PRETTY NICE ONE TO COLLECT. ESPECIALLY NOW THAT THESE ONCE MIGHTY ROOKIE SENSATIONS CAN BE FOUND IN DIME BOXES. THIS ONE IS A HIGH-PRICED ITEM THOUGH, I HAD TO GO TO THE QUARTER BOXES TO GET IT

1998 SCORE/PINNACLE EPIX


FLEER IS CLASSY, SCORE IS SHIIIIIIIIINY. EPIX IS A GLORIOUS CLUSTERFUCK OF AN INSERT SET THAT IS SPREAD ACROSS SEVERAL PRODUCTS WITH EACH CARD GETTING FOUR DIFFERENT VARIATIONS THAT CAN BE FOUND IN THREE DIFFERENT COLORS. DIFFERENT VARIATIONS CAN BE FOUND IN DIFFERENT PRODUCTS BUT ONY ONE VARIATION PER PRODUCT AND DIFFERENT PLAYERS CAN HAVE DIFFERENT VARIATIONS IN THE SAME PRODUCT EXCEPT FOR THE MOMENTS CARDS WHICH WERE ALL INSERTED INTO ONE SINGLE PRODUCT, ALBEIT THE FIRST HALF OF THE SET IN ONE PRODUCT AND THEN THE SECOND HALF IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PRODUCT AND I DON'T THINK ANYONE KNOWS IF THERE'S ANY RARITY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ORANGE, PURPLE AND GREEN CARDS. MAKES SENSE, RIGHT? I SOMEHOW PULLED TWO IVAN ORANGES OUT OF DIFFERENT SERIES SCORE PACKS AND I'M UNREASONABLY PROUD OF THIS FACT


SOMEHOW THE BACKS ARE AS CRAZY AS THE FRONTS, NO MEAN FEAT WITH THAT DAZZLING HOLOFOIL MESS ON THE OTHER SIDE. THE HIGHLIGHTS LISTED ON THESE CARDS ARE AMAZING AS WELL AS THEY COMMEMORATE PUDGE BREAKING A RECORD SET BY MICKEY FRICKIN COCHRANE AND SOMEHOW PARTICIPATING IN AN ALL STAR GAME THAT THE AMERICAN LEAGUE LOST

2002 DONRUSS FAN CLUB FRANCHISE FEATURES MATERIALS


GOTTA SHOW OFF THE LAUNDRY I GUESS
THIS WAS FROM A TERRIBLE SET CALLED FAN CLUB WHICH WAS UGLY AND HAD SHORT PRINTS AND A CHROMIUM STYLE PARALLEL SET. BUT IT ALSO HAD BIG THICK RELIC CARDS BASED ON UGLY INSERTS AND SOME OF THOSE RELIC CARD HAD PRETTY BLUE SWATCHES SO I GUESS IT'S NOT ALL BAD



NO PICTURE OF THE ACTUAL JERSEY ON THE BACK THIS TIME. THE PICTURE ON THE FRONT IS THE SAME COLOR AS THE SWATCH AT LEAST. BIG-ASS TEAM LOGOS AND THAT UBIQUITOUS SERIAL NUMBER FONT GIVE ME THE HAPPY GROOVIES AS WELL. EVEN UGLY CARDS CAN BE BEAUTIFUL

TIM TOMORROW UNLESS I SLEEP ALL DAY, THEN IT'LL BE MONDAY MAYBE
I'LL SHOOT FOR TOMORROW

Saturday, July 20, 2019

Hall of Fame - Jeff Bagwell

IT'S HALL OF FAME WEEKEND APPARENTLY. I HAVEN'T REALLY KNOWN WHAT MONTH IT IS FOR SEVERAL OF THE PAST MONTHS SO IT KINDA SNUCK UP ON ME. I'M GUESSING I HAVE SCANS OF THIS YEAR'S INDUCTEES SOMEWHERE ON MY HARD DRIVE BUT I'M TOO LAZY TO SEARCH FOR THEM. INSTEAD! HERE ARE POSTS IN MY DRAFT FOLDER FROM THE 2017 CLASS THAT I HALFWAY DID AND NEVER POSTED FOR SOME REASON. WAS IT TOO BUSY? WAS IT TOO LAZY? WAS IT SIMPLY APATHY? WE'LL NEVER KNOW!!! BUT I AM POSTING THEM NOW BECAUSE I'VE GONE ALL QUIRKY. YOU CAN DIFFERENTIATE WHAT I WROTE BACK THEN FROM WHAT I AM WRITING RIGHT THIS EXACT SECOND BECAUSE I WASN'T ALL YELLY IN 2017. WELL I KINDA WAS BUT NOT ONLINE. ENJOY

It's The National weekend!!! Why aren't you up in Chicago blowing thousands of dollars on pieces of cardboard?!? Oh, you're broke ass broke like me? Well OK then. It's Hall of Fame induction weekend too, we can enjoy that while sitting our asses at home. I've dug up some oldie moldie cards to honor the newest inductees.

1992 Donruss Diamond Kings


Some of y'all weren't born when this card came out so let me try to explain how big a deal it was back then. 1991-1992 was a weird time for baseball cards. Most companies were still in 1980s mode with their base card designs, but premium sets like Stadium Club and Pinnacle were popping up and getting a lot of collector attention. After an abysmal looking design in '91, Donruss gussied up the 1992 set, making it look more like their Leaf product and turned the long-running Diamond Kings subset into a full bleed glossy insert set. And people lost their minds chasing that Bagwell. The first boxes came out a couple weeks before Christmas in 1991 and I spent every last dime I had ripping packs trying to pull just one Diamond King, I didn't. Not till after Christmas anyway. Nowadays you can get the whole set for a few bucks (or pull it all out of dime and quarter boxes if you're willing to dig) but it's still one of the best looking insert sets of the 90s.



1995 Fleer Pro-Visions


Sticking with the Art theme for this post. I know everyone loathes the 1995 Fleer set and I really can't blame you. The base card designs range from ludicrous to hideous and the set as a whole is possibly the busiest and most confusing designs ever put on a mainstream base product. I'm not going to deny this, I'm just going to say look at the whole picture. 1995 was in the middle of Fleer's 'Insert in every pack' phases and while the base set is a mess the insert cards were very clean looking and well designed. The mess of a base set wasn't just a mess, it was a conscious design choice meant to flip the script on the trope of the boring looking base card and creatively weird inserts. So it didn't work out that well, at least they tried something new. Better than long runs of sets that all look alike (yes I'm talking about you, twenty first century Topps designs).

The Pro-Visions inserts had been around since 1991 and in '95 they were full bleed with a design that connected through all six cards in the series. The fronts are creative artwork and the backs are pure 90s purple and teal swirly cheese. Next time someone says the 1995 Fleer set sucks, show 'em Jeff Bagwell smashing the goddamn Space Shuttle out of the park and see how fast they shut up.



2003 Donruss Jersey Kings


OH MAH GAWD ITZ BEEG MOJO HEETZ USING RECYCLED ART FROM 1991 BACK WHEN USED LAUNDRY CARDS WEREN'T WORTHLESS GARBAGE CLUTTERING UP DOLLAR BOXEN. I'M BEING CYNICAL BUT THIS CARD IS FUCKIN SWEET. THICK AS A BRICK, NICE DARK SWATCH FOR US GOTHY COLLECTORS, LOVELY ART AND ONE OF THE LESS-TERRIBLE DESIGNS FOR THE MID-AUGHTS



AND CHECK THIS SHIT OUT, A PICTURE OF THE ACTUAL EXACT JERSEY THAT JEFF SWEATED ALL OVER IN AN OFFICIAL MAJOR LEAGUE GAME OF BASE AND BALLS  THE DIRTY RAG PIECE CAME FROM, GUARANTEED. NONE OF THIS 'THIS SWATCH CAME FROM SOMEWHERE, SOME PLACE, SOMEHOW, PROBABLY, I MEAN THERE'S AN ACTUAL PIECE OF CLOTH EMBEDDED IN THE CARD ISN'T THERE? QUIT BITCHING, THIS IS YOUR GUARANTEED HIT FROM THE BOX, NO REFUNDS' DISCLAIMERS WE GET NOWADAYS. LOOKIT THAT BEAUTIFUL JERSEY THAT WAS SHREDDED TO BITS SO 100 OF THESE CARDS COULD GET MADE


1997 PINNACLE INSIDE DUELING DUGOUTS



YELLING DURING THE CARD DESCRIPTIONS TOO, IDGAF. THIS IS A RIDICULOUS INSERT WITH AN EMBEDDED SPINNY STAT WHEEL THAT CAME OUT OF A LUDICROUS PRODUCT THAT PUT A FLAT, RECTANGULAR PACK OF CARDS INSIDE A ROUND, CYLINDRICAL TIN CAN BECAUSE THE LATE 90S WERE FUCKIN CRAZY, MAN. THE WHEEL HAS SEVERAL YEARS OF SPINNY STATS WHAT YOU CAN SPIN TO SEE THE DIFFERENT SEASONS OF STAT SPINS. MY HEAD IS SPINNING. IT'S LATE AND I NEED TO POST THIS QUICK BEFORE I PASS OUT BUT I SCANNED ALL FIVE YEARS OF STATS FOR BAGWEEL AND I GOTTA COMMENT ON ALL OF THEM. HA HA BAG WHEEL. MY DEMENTED MIND MAKES PUNS I DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT.

THE WHEEL STARTS WITH 1992, HIS SOPHOMORE SEASON THAT MORE OR LESS MATCHED HIS ROOKIE OF THE YEAR CAMPAIGN, JUST WITH A FEW MORE BOPS AND RIBBIES AND A LITTLE PROP IN HIS AVERAGE AND ON BASE PERCENTAGE


YEAR THREE, COUPLE MORE HOMERS, COUPLE FEWER RBIS, WAY BETTER AVERAGE. A TASTE OF WHAT'S TO COME


1994 HOLY SHIT. TY COBBIAN AVERAGE, BABE RUTHIAN HOMERS AND RBIS ARE A SILLY STAT BUT HE HAD A TON OF EM. IMAGINE WHAT THIS WOULD LOOK LIKE WITH ANOTHER MONTH OF GAMES. BURN IN HELL BUD SELIG


OH NO, A SLUMP. A SLUMP FOR JEFF BAGWELL IS 4.9 WAR AND A BETTER SEASON THAN HIS ROOKIE OF THE YEAR CAMPAIGN


1996, AH JEFF IS BACK. THE FIRST OF 6 STRAIGHT SEASONS OF OVER 5 WAR. IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WAR YOU SURE AS HELL UNDERSTAND .315/31/120 I BETCHA


BACK OF THE CARD HAS 1996 MVP AND BRAVES LEGEND KEN CAMINITI. REST IN PEACE KEN AND SAY HI TO JIM BOUTON AND DON MOSSI FOR ME

*LOUD SOB*

YELL AT ME IF I DON'T POST IVAN TOMORROW, I'M SERIOUS ABOUT THIS

Sunday, July 14, 2019

Comics wantlist

BEEN MEANING TO DO THIS FOR A WHILE AND MY SON IS DRAGGING ME TO A COMIC CON TOMORROW SO NO BETTER TIME THAN NOW. HOPEFULLY THE SHOW GETS ME OUT OF MY EXTENDED FUNK BUT DON'T COUNT ON IT



Flaming Carrot 1-6 32

Sandman 30-31

Transmetropolitan 23 50

John Constantine Hellblazer have 3 4 6 24 76 179 194 Annual 1

Sandman Mystery Theatre have 2 4 5 6 7 9 22 29 43 49 61

The House of Mystery have 249 267 282
*need* 202

The House of Secrets have 104 124 135 137 153

Plop have 1rp 2 3 5 6 7 10 15 17

Swamp Thing 1-22 24 33-38 43 45-46 48 51-52 55 58 60 62-63 65-100 102 104-111 115-117 119-138 140-171 annual 1 4-

Howard the Duck have - 4 6 7 8 9 15 26 Annual 1
Mag have - 1 8 9 2015 have - 1

Ren & Stimpy 6 9-21 23-44

Battle of the Planets Gold Key 1-5 7-10 Manga 3

Cerebus have 4rp 23rp 24rp 25rp 79 86 100 110 137 151 168 190 221-222 265 298
Phonebook - Flight

Vamps 3
The Enigma 7 8
The System 3
Fables 49

all the EC reprints
Gladstone (need)
The Haunt of Fear 2
Tales From the Crypt 3 4 6
The Vault of Horror 1 2 3 4 5 6
Weird Science 1 3

Russ Cochrane (have)
Tales From the Crypt 3

Gemstone (have)
The Haunt of Fear 14
Two-Fisted Tales 16
The Vault of Horror 14
Weird Science 17

all the Mad Magazines

Friday, June 7, 2019

NON-SPORT FRANKENSET - CARD #4

HAD A COUPLE OF DAYS OFF WORK THIS WEEK AND BECAME COMPLETELY UNMOORED. ALL MY SILLY DAILY ROUTINES AND INSIGNIFICANT IMPORTANT TASKS WENT RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW. NO DRAWING, NO CHECKING E-MAIL, NO EXERCISE, NO CATCHING UP ON PODCASTS , BARELY ON TWITTER, NO LIBRARY TIME,  DIDN'T LEAVE THE HOUSE. JUST SAT LIKE A LAZY BUMP AND DID RIDICULOUS SHIT LIKE LISTENING TO OLD CDS FROM THE '00S AND WATCHING AN OLD SHOW FROM THE '90S I USED TO LIKE, PLAYING WITH A GAME I BOUGHT IN THE '80S, WATCHING A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT TOYS I OWNED IN THE THE '70S. I GUESS I'M AT THAT LEVEL OF BURNOUT WHERE YOU TRY REVERT BACK TO YOUR YOUTH TO RECAPTURE SOME GOLD OL RELAXING OBLIVION.

NOW THAT'S ALL OVER AND IN FIVE MINUTES I'LL BE WORKING FOR THE NEXT 47 HOURS STRAIGHT

FUCK IT, TIME FOR A BLOG POST

4 2002 Inkworks The Scorpion - King Balthazar


I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY WATCHED THE SCORPION KING. I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN THE MUMMY TO BE HONEST, BUT I HAVE IT ON VHS. BUT I LIKE MICHAEL CLARKE DUNCAN AS AN ACTOR AND THIS GETUP LOOKS COOL. I HAVEN'T SEEN ALL THAT MANY MOVIES STARRING DUNCAN THOUGH. HE WAS GREAT IN THE GREEN MILE BUT I TURNED IT OFF  BEFORE THE END BECAUSE I READ THE BOOK AND IT WAS TOO SAD. HE WAS FUNNY IN RICKY BOBBY, OR AT LEAST THE CLIPS I SAW BECAUSE I HAVENT SEEN THAT ONE EITHER. THE ONE MOVIE I'M 100% CERTAIN I SAW WITH HIM IN IT WAS DAREDEVIL. I KNOW, THAT MOVIE'S A COMPLETE JOKE NOW, OR WOULD BE IF ANYONE REMEMBERED IT, BUT I RECALL LIKING IT AT THE TIME AND DUNCAN WAS A GREAT KINGPIN. AND THAT'S ABOUT IT.


SOMETIMES CARDS ARE COOL EVEN IF YOU HAVE NOTHING OF SUBSTANCE TO SAY ABOUT THEM.

AND THAT'S OK



Thursday, May 30, 2019

Dime Box Junk - $3.50

HEY NBA FINALS ARE ON TONIGHT. WARRIORS AND RAPTORS. I WAS ROOTING FOR GIANNIS SO FUCK 'EM BOTH. HERE'S SOME HOOPY DIME BOX CARDS TO CELEBRATE BEING ONE DAY CLOSER TO THE NBA DRAFT

1990-91 HOOPS DENNIS RODMAN ALL-STAR


DENNIS RODMAN IS A WEIRDO AND I LOVE HIM. COMPLETELY RESPECT SOMEONE WHO WOKE UP ONE DAY AND THOUGHT "I'M GOING TO GET EVERY REBOUND IN THE WORLD" AND GOES OUT AND DOES IT. OK SO NOW HE'S THE UNOFFICIAL AMBASSADOR TO NORTH KOREA AND IS PALSY-WALSY WITH TRUMP, BUT EVERYTHING IS SO GODDAMN STUPID RIGHT NOW WHO CARES.

REEEEBOOOOOOOUNDSSSSSS!!!!!!


RODMAN WAS AN ALL-STAR ONLY TWICE WHICH SEEMS STUPID. NO DEFENSE ALLOWED IN THE ALL-STAR GAME I GUESS. ALSO MINDBLOWING: THE WORM PLAYED FOR THE MAVERICKS??? I HAVE NO RECOLLECTION OF THIS. I NEED A BASKETBALL LEGENDS SET OF EVERY HALL OF FAMER WITH THEIR WEIRDEST TEAM. DOMINIQUE WITH THE MAGIC. PARISH WITH THE HORNETS. MCGRADY WITH THE HAWKS. THE WEIRDNESS INJECT IT INTO MY VEINS

ALSO THESE ALL-STAR CARDS ARE A PAIN IN THE ASS FOR A JUNK WAX SET. NO MORE BUYING UP BOXES CHEAP DUE TO THE MARK JACKSON SHENANIGANS EITHER

1996-97 TOPPS FINEST SHAWN KEMP


SHAWN KEMP IS A SIX TIME ALL-STAR BUT NOT IN THE HALL OF FAME LIKE DENNIS IS. MY BRAIN INSISTS TO ME THAT SHAWN HAS BEEN INDUCTED THOUGH AND ONE DAY MY BRAIN MAY BE RIGHT. NOT RIGHT NOW THOUGH BUT HE WAS REALLY GOOD WHEN I WAS PAYING A LOT OF ATTENTION TO THE NBA AND THAT COUNTS FOR SOMETHING. SHAWN'S WTF HE PLAYED WITH THEM TEAM IS: THE ORLANDO MAGIC. ALTHOUGH THOSE CAVS UNIFORMS HE HAD TO WEAR ARE AN ABOMINATION. UGH. SUPERSONIC FOR LIFE


I TRIPLE CHECKED SHAWN'S BASKETBALL-REFERENCE PAGE AND I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT 11.9 AVG STAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE. ALL THE OTHER CAREER BEST STATS FIT FOR THIS CARD BUT THAT ONE. POINTS PER GAME WOULD BE 19.6, REBOUNDS 11.4. THE ONLY ONE THAT FITS IS FIELD GOAL SHOTS PER GAME WHICH IS A VERY ODD STAT TO ATTACH TO 'AVG'. I WAS SO UPSET BY THIS THAT I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE BRONZE-SILVER-GOLD RARITY GIMMICK IN THIS SET. I MEAN IT'S BETTER THAN THE BASEBALL SET BECAUSE THE SILVER AND GOLDS ARE SEGREGATED TO THE HIGHER NUMBERS IN THE SERIES UNLIKE THE TRAINWRECK RANDOM-ASS BASEBALL SET BUT STILL

NO I HAVEN'T FREED THIS FINEST YET

2015-16 PANINI TOTALLY CERTIFIED


NOW THAT IT'S OVER AND DONE WITH JEFF TEAGUE WAS A REALLY DAN GOOD POINT GUARD FOR THE HAWKS. I NEVER APPRECIATED HIM BECAUSE I HAD BETTER MEMORIES OF GUYS LIKE DOC RIVERS, MOOKIE BLAYLOCK AND JASON TERRY. I ALSO ABANDONED BASKETBALL CARDS WHEN TOPPS LOST THE LICENSE SO I MISSED OUT ON CARDS FOR MOST OF HIS HAWKS CAREER. OF COURSE NOW WE HAVE TRAE WHO IS IMMEDIATELY THE BEST POINT GUARD IN HAWKS HISTORY SO NO REGRETS



ONE THING THAT FRUSTRATES ME ABOUT PANINI IS THAT SO MANY OF THEIR CARD DESIGNS ARE BORING AS HELL THEN SOMETHING LIKE THIS POPS UP WITH INSANE FOIL ETCHING AND IT'S LIKE, OH YEAH THEY ACTUALLY CAN DESIGN A GOOD LOOKING CARD IF THEY WANT. IS THIS A HIGH-END ISSUE? CAN'T BE THOSE ARE ON 700-POINT STOCK WITH ENAMEL GLAZING PRINTED WITH INK DERIVED FROM THE BLOOD OF ENDANGERED SQUIDS. STILL, A NICE LOOKIN' CARD WITH A COMPLEMENT FROM KING JAMES HIMSELF ON THE BACK

1995-96 UPPER DECK BASKETBALL HOLOGRAM SOMETHING OR OTHER GLENN ROBINSON


WHEN I SAW THIS CARD IN THE DIME BOX I HAD NO IDEA WHAT IT WAS AND NOW THAT I HAVE HAD THE TIME TO DO SOME RESEARCH ON IT I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL IT IS. IT'S GOT A 94-95 DESIGN BUT IT'S FROM 95-96. I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S AN INSERT OR A STAND-ALONE SET OR A REDEMPTION OR WAS SOLD ON QVC. IT'S PROBABLY WORTH LESS THAN A DIME WHATEVER IT IS ESPECIALLY WITH THE BIG DING ON THE LOWER LEFT CORNER. BUT WHEN YOU SEE AN ODDBALL HOLOGRAM CARD IN A DIME BOX, BY GUM, IT'S PRACTICALLY IMMORAL NOT TO SNAP IT UP


NUMBER ONE OVERALL PICK BY THE BUCKS, PLAYED PRETTY WELL FOR A WHILE, HAD ONE GOOD YEAR WITH THE HAWKS, WON A TITLE WITH THE SPURS AND FELL OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH. OH JESUS, HIS KID PLAYED FOR DETROIT THIS YEAR, I'M SO DAMN OLD

2007-08 FLEER CHRIS BOSH 61-62 RETRO


AYYYY GEORGIA TECH GUY. THERE WAS ONCE A TIME WHERE I LIKED PLAYERS BECAUSE THEY WENT TO A LOCAL COLLEGE, NOW THEY BARELY PLAY COLLEGE BALL. AND WHY SHOULD THEY SINCE THE NCAA IS RIPPING THEM OFF. I HONESTLY HAVE NO MEMORY OF BOSH AT TECH OR TORONTO. TO ME HE'S THE GUY WHO SAW LEBRON AND DWAYNE AND WAS ALL "YEAH THAT'S A GOOD PLACE TO BE". AND WHY NOT?


I LOVE THIS FLEER SET AND NOT JUST BECAUSE THERE ARE THREE, COUNT 'EM, THREE RETRO INSERT/PARALLEL SETS. 61-62. 87-88 AND 86-87 ROOKIE. 224 RETRO CARDS FOR A 235 CARD BASE SET FUCK YEAH. I WISH PANINI WOULD ABSORB UPPER DECK LIKE THE GIGANTIC ALIEN BLOB THAT THEY ARE SO THEY COULD START SWIPING ALL THE COOL RETRO DESIGNS. 80S FLEER, 90S HOLOGRAMS, 00S... WELL NOT A LOT OF GREAT OPTIONS IN THE 00S EXCEPT RETRO REHASHES

RETRO RETRO AWWWWW YEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

YOU MAY THINK THAT THIS POST ENDS WITH A RAPTORS CARD BECAUSE THAT'S WHO I'M PULLING FOR IN THE FINALS. THIS IS NOT CORRECT ALTHOUGH JEREMY LIN WITH A RING WOULD BE FANTASTIC. I AM ROOTING FOR WHATEVER OUTCOME EVENTUALLY CONVINCES KEVIN DURANT TO SIGN WITH THE HAWKS SO HE CAN PLAY WITH HIS BUDDY TRAE. 4 GAME WARRIOR SWEEP AND KEVIN GETS BORED AND TRIES TO WIN A TITLE ELSEWHERE TO PROVE HIMSELF? GREAT. A HEARTBREAKING LOSS IN GAME 7 PROMTING A WARRIORS' BREAKUP? SURE, FINE. I MEAN, REALISTICALLY THE HAWKS WILL BE LUCKY IF VINCE RE-SIGNS BUT A GUY CAN DREAM RIGHT

Sunday, May 26, 2019

NON-SPORT FRANKENSET - CARD #3

GEORGIA JUST TRANSITIONED FROM "HUH IT'S A LITTLE CHILLY FOR MAY" TO "OVEN LEFT ON BROIL FOR THREE DAYS" SO HI SUMMER, GUESS YOU'RE HERE TIL NOVEMBER NOW. I KINDA JUST WANT TO GO INTO A DARK ROOM WITH 14 FANS AND WATCH A JACKIE CHAN MOVIE BUT NO! TYPING UP BLOGS LIKE A GOOD CONTENT CREATOR. FIGURED OUT AN ANGLE FOR TODAY'S FRANKENSET CARD SO

HERE

WE

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

3- 2003 WIZARDS OF THE COAST THE SIMPSONS TCG - KRUSTY FOIL


[ONOMOTOPEIA OF KRUSTY'S LAUGH] IT'S KRUSTY THE CLOWN IN HOLOGRAPHIC FOIL! AH, THE EARLY 2000S, WHEN EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING WANTED A HIT TRADING CARD GAME SO THEY COULD PRINT MONEY LIKE THE MAGIC: AND POKEMON PEOPLE. EVERY LICENSED PROPERTY GAVE IT A GO. EVEN SPORTS CARDS GAVE IT A SHOT. EVERYTHING FLOPPED. EXCEPT YU-GI-OH. THOSE CARDS ARE EVERYWHERE. THE SIMPSONS GAVE IT A TRY WITH A CARD GAME THAT WAS MORE ABOUT WORDS THAN NUMBERS. IT DIDN'T OUTLAST THE SHOW, THAT'S FOR SURE. BUT KRUSTY IS SOOOOOO SHIIIIIINY


FULL DISCLOSURE - I HAVE NEVER PLAYED THIS GAME, DO NOT KNOW HOW TO PLAY THIS GAME, WILL NEVER PLAY THIS GAME, AND THE ONLY REASON I HAVE THIS CARD IS BECAUSE THE PRODUCT FLOPPED AND THE PACKS ENDED UP IN TARGET'S 99 CENT CLEARANCE NON-SPORT PACK BIN AND I PICKED UP A HANDFUL BACK WHEN I COULD WASTE MONEY WITHOUT ANGUISH AND GUILT. THIS CARD IS IN THIS SET BECAUSE IN THAT SMALL PILE OF PACKS I GOT THIS FOIL KRUSTY THREE TIMES. THREE. THREE FOIL KRUSTYS. I'M GUESSING THE HOLOFOILS ARE THE PREMIUM CARDS LISTED ON THE PACKS AND THEY ARE SUPPOSEDLY 1:33 PACKS AND I GOT THREEEEEEE. HOW. I NEVER GOT ANY MORE PACKS BECAUSE THE PLAIN CARD COLLATION WAS EQUALLY ABYSMAL. YEARS LATER I FOUND A STARTER DECK AT A FLEA MARKET AND LOOKED AT IT FOR FIVE MINUTES AND NOW IT'S IN A BOX SOMEWHERE.

NEVERTHELESS, I LIKE GAMES AND FIGURING OUT HOW THEY WORK AND I THINK I FIGURED OUT THE BASIC GIST OF IT FROM THE RANDOM CARDS I'VE PICKED UP:

FIRST BUILD A DECK. OR BUY ONE. AND ADD CARDS FROM THE BOOSTERS. THEN FIND 1-4 MORE PEOPLE WHO HAVE ALSO DONE THIS. THIS IS THE PART WHERE MOST PEOPLE GIVE UP

NOW EVERYBODY SHUFFLES THEIR DECKS AND DEALS THEMSELVES A HAND. PRETTY SURE THIS IS MANDATORY IN MOST CARD GAMES

OK NOW THERE'S THESE THINGS CALLED SCENE CARDS. THESE ARE KIND OF LIKE THE LOCATION CARDS IN THE OLD-SCHOOL STAR WARS CCG. MAYBE TWO OF YOU AT MOST KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. PLAY ONE OF THESE CARDS

NOW YOU HAVE TO PLAY YOUR CHARACTER CARDS. THESE ARE LIKE THE CHARACTER CARDS IN THE OLD-SCHOOL STAR WARS CCG EXCEPT NONE OF THEM ARE JEDIS EXCEPT MAYBE BLEEDING GUMS MURPHY. INSTEAD OF NUMBERS TO KILL PEOPLE THERE ARE DESCRIPTIVE WORDS ON THE CARDS. THE MIGHTY WORD IS MORE POWERFUL THAN THE FAKE LASER SWORD. PLAY THE CARD WITH THE RIGHT WORD TO THE SCENE TO GET POINTS

OH HO HO! THE JERKS YOU'RE PLAYING THE GAME WITH HAVE ACTION CARDS! THESE ARE CARDS THAT ALLOW PLAYERS TO SCREW OVER OTHER PLAYERS. THESE ARE LIKE THE DRAW 4 CARDS IN THE OLD-SCHOOL STAR WARS UNO DECK. I DON'T KNOW HOW THESE WORK IN THE SIMPSONS GAME BUT THEY ARE THERE AND ARE MOST LIKELY MEANT TO AGGRAVATE

UM, ONCE YOU PLAY ENOUGH CARDS AND GET ENOUGH POINTS YOU WIN? I GUESS. I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU WIN THIS GAME. BOARDGAMEGEEK SAYS THE GAMES LAST 20 MINUTES SO YOU GOTTA WIN SOMEHOW. I MEAN YOU HAVE TO RIGHT

AFTER 20 MINUTES, FLIP THE TABLE, MAKE SOME POPCORN AND GO WATCH YOUR SEASON 8 DVDS

SO I'VE NEVER PLAYED THE GAME, I HAVEN'T WATCHED THE SHOW IN 10 YEARS AND I HAVE NO STRONG FEELINGS TOWARDS KRUSTY OTHER THAN I AM A FILTHY MAGPIE WHO IS HYPNOTIZED BY THE SHINY THINGS WHICH IS WHY THIS CARD IS IN THE FRANKENSET. HONESTLY HAD NO IDEA WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT IN THIS POST AND AM FRANKLY SHOCKED I GOT SO MANY WORDS OUT OF TRYING TO BULLSHIT THE RULES. SO I WAS SKEERED TO WRITE THIS POST UNTIL I HAD AN EPIPHANY AND REALIZED MY EASY OUT

THE SACRED REFUGE OF TRADING CARD BLOGGERS

PACK!

RIP!

POOOOOOOOOOOST!!!


HERE'S OUR KRUSTY BOI RIGHT ON THE PACK, BEGGING FOR YOUR MONEY. THE 11 RANDOM GAME CARDS ARE PRETTY DANG CONSISTENTLY FOUR CHARACTER CARDS, THREE SCENE CARDS, THREE ACTION CARDS AND ONE RARE. NO UNCOMMONS, TEN COMMONS AND ONE RARE. PACK DESIGN IS ATTRACTIVE I HAVE TO ADMIT, EVEN WITH HIDEOUS SIMPSONS FACES ALL OVER THEM


THERE'S THAT 99 CENT STICKER, HOW I MISS IT. HAVEN'T SEEN THE CLEARANCE JUNK PACKS IN YEARS, I GUESS THE DREGS ARE ALL SHIPPED OFF TO THE REPACK JUNK BOX MAKERS NOW. NO IDEA WHY THE FLAMING MOE REFERENCE IS ON THE BACK. I GUESS ALCOHOLISM SELLS TCGS. THAT WEBSITE IS STILL UP, SORT OF. ENOUGH WITH THE PACKAGING, ON WITH THE CARDS


AM WAY LATE ON THE APU JOKES SO NOT GOING THERE. AS AN OCCASIONAL FLIP-PAST-TELEMUNDO-AT-ODD-HOURS PERSON I APPRECIATED THE GAG BACK IN THE DAY. ACCORDING TO THE SIMPSONS WIKI THIS GUY IS BELGIAN, AND A FURRY. THIS IS THE LAST TIME I SHALL BE CHECKING THE BACKSTORIES OF THE CHARACTERS IN THIS POST FOR MY SANITY'S SAKE

NOTICE: NO NUMBERS EXCEPT THE CARD NUMBER. THIS CONFUSED ME GREATLY  WHEN I FIRST OPENED THE PACK BECAUSE CCGS ARE USUALLY VERY MATH ORIENTED. WAS ALSO UPSET BY THE TERMS FAT AND ODDBALL USED AGAINST POOR MR. BEE ESPECIALLY WHEN I REALIZED THOSE WOULD ALMOST CERTAINLY BE ON MY CARD AS WELL



I HAVE NO RECOLLECTION OF THIS GUY WHICH IS PROBABLY GOOD BECAUSE BEING FORGETTABLE SEEMS TO BE HIS ENTIRE CHARACTER? THREE NEW WORDS FOR GIL, OUR SIMPSONS VOCABULARY IS GROWING


GOOD OL' LUNCHLADY DORIS FROM BACK WHEN THE SHOW WAS ABOUT BART AND THERE WERE EPISODES ABOUT SCHOOL INSTEAD OF HOMER FUCKING UP SOMETHING CATASTROPHICALLY EVERY WEEK.

LOOKS LIKE I'M DOING PRETTY WELL IF I WANT A KILLER BITTER FAT DECK. HASHSLINGER SEEMS LIKE AN EXTREMELY SPECIFIC DESCRIPTION FOR A GAME WITH ONLY 156 CARDS


BACK WHEN I WATCHED REGULARLY I REMEMBER I HAD A DEFINITE PREFERENCE FOR ONE OF MARGE'S SISTERS BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER WHICH ONE AND I'M NOT LOOKING IT UP. IT'S PROBABLY SELMA BECAUSE I CAN'T REMEMBER THE OTHER ONE'S NAME. AND BY PREFERENCE I MEAN I THOUGHT ONE WAS COOL IN HER GROUCHINESS AND THE OTHER ONE WAS JUST A BORING GRUMP. Y'ALL ARE GOING TO POST ON SOCIAL MEDIA HURTFUL MAY-MAYS SAYING SELMA IS MAH WAIFU ANYWAY SO I'M NOT SURE WHY I CLARIFIED THAT

FUCK IT I LOOKED IT UP. PATTY IS THE OTHER ONE, HOW'D I FORGET THAT. WAIT, PATTY IS A LESBIAN? WELL SHIT, I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT THIS SHOW DO I. LUNCHLADY DORIS IS THE COOL ONE


OH LOOK! A SCEEEEEENE. THESE HAVE NUMBERS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COMPLETE AND TRASH IS. YOU GET TO DRAW THREE CARDS EITHER WAY. I CAN COMPLETE THE FAT-FAMILY-IDIOT SCENE WITH CARDS FROM THIS PACK WHICH IS COOL. NOT SO COOL THAT I'M IN THE SCENE. I WANT THE GIRL TOY YOU JACKASS! TAKE BACK THESE TRANSFORMERS


CAN COMPLETE THE IDIOT-CELEBRITY SCENE AS WELL. THERE ARE AT LEAST THREE HUMOROUS REFERENCES ON THIS CARD THAT I'LL BET NO ONE UNDER SAY, TWENTY-FIVE UNDERSTANDS IN THE SLIGHTEST. I'LL BET THAT THEY LOOK AT THAT PIE RESIDUE AND HAVE BAD THOUGHTS


AM I INSANE OR DID WEIRD AL YANKOVIC DO A SONG ABOUT THIS EPISODE. OR BOTH. CAN'T COMPLETE THIS SCENE WHICH IS PROBABLY FOR THE BEST


WE'VE REACHED THE ACTION CARDS.EGGHEAD JACKANAPE NE'ER-DO-WELL IS A GOOD DESCRIPTION FOR ME, I GUESS I HAVE TO BE DISCARDED NOW


TALKING HEADS REFERENCE ON A LISA CARD SEEMS APPROPRIATE. RECLAIMING A CARD OUT OF THE DISCARD PILE IS A BASIC CCG PLAY MECHANIC SO LISA'S PROBABLY RIGHT ABOUT THE VALUE OF THIS CARD


NOW THIS CARD IS HELLA COOL THOUGH. NOT THE PLAY MECHANIC, JUST THE ON-PURPOSE EFFED UP CARD ART. PROFESSIONAL PRINTER TWITTER WOULD PROBABLY GET A KICK OUT OF THIS ONE. NOTE THAT ALL THE ICONS NEXT TO THE CARD NUMBER SO FAR ARE CIRCLES. DON'T RECALL SEEING ANOTHER CCG SET WITH ALL COMMONS, NO UNCOMMONS. THIS ALSO CONFUSED ME AND IS PROBABLY A REASON I GAVE UP ON THE GAME AFTER THESE PACKS. KIND OF A SHAME SINCE THE GAME I MADE UP IN MY HEAD SEEMS PRETTY FUN

OK KIDS! RARE TIEM!!!


AYYY HANK SCORPIO
I LOVED THIS EPISODE
CAPITALIST AS BOND VILLAIN HA HA HOW QUAINT MATT GROENING

MY GOD WHAT WE'D DO FOR EVEN ONE CAPITALIST AS KIND AND UNDERSTANDING AS HANK RIGHT NOW

WOULD LOVE IT IF BILLIONAIRE ASSHOLES WOULD JUST MURDER SECRET AGENTS AND TAKE OVER THE EAST COAST INSTEAD OF RAISING THE PRICE OF LIFE-SAVING DRUGS AND PROFITING HANDSOMELY FROM FASCIST PROPAGANDA ON SOCIAL MEDIA AND DESPERATELY ATTEMPTING TO DIG UP ALL THE OIL IN THE WORLD BEFORE CIVILIZATION COLLAPSES

JESUS THE 90S WERE SO INNOCENT AND DUMB

OK FINE THE EPISODE WAS WRITTEN BY JOHN SWARTZWELDER NOT MATT GROENING. NOW YOU TROLLISH COMMENTATORS WILL HAVE TO FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO FLAME ME ABOUT. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ASSHOLES, THERE'S NOTHING REMOTELY CONTROVERSIAL IN THIS POST

AND THAT'S THE POST! I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT IT AND NOW IT'S DONE, YAY!

THE NEXT POST I FOR REALS HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT IT SO I'LL PROBABLY DRINK A LOT AND TAP OUT SOME WORD SALAD

TILL THEN, MY BELOVED JERKS