I have no idea how to create pages but I'll figure it out eventually godammit

Sunday, May 19, 2019

Cool Stuff #3 - Trae Kings

I SHOULD BE WRITING MY NON-SPORTS POST TONIGHT, OR RATHER, I SHOULD HAVE WROTE IT ALREADY BUT I'M NOT AND I DIDN'T AND I'M NOT REALLY FEELING IT TONIGHT SO HERE'S SOME COOL STUFF!!!!1

GET EXITED THIS IS COOL DAMMIT

2019 DONRUSS ROOKIE KINGS TRAE YOUNG


IT'S AN INSERT SO NOT TECHNICALLY A ROOKIE CARD BUT IT LOOKS NEAT SO WHO CARES. IT'S GOT THAT FAKE CANVAS TEXTURE ON IT WHICH MAKES THE FOIL STAMPING INTERESTING. THIS COST AS MUCH AS A DONRUSS ROOKIE CARD BUT I'M GOING TO SPEND ENOUGH ON DOLLAR STORE DONRUSS PACKS TO BE ABLE TO BUY ALL THE TRAE ROOKIES IN THE CASE AT THE LOCAL SHOP EXCEPT I WON'T PULL A SINGLE TRAE. OR LUCA. 13 AYTONS THOUGH, PROBABLY. LOOKING AT THE TRAE YOUNG GALLERY ON TRADING CARD DB THERE AIN'T THAT MANY TRAES OUT THERE IT APPEARS. NOW THAT THERE WILL BE NO TRAE PASSES TO ZION AND ONCE DONCIC WINS ROY I'M HOPING THE TRAE HYPE SETTLES A BIT AND THE PRICE SETTLES DOWN A BIT AND I CAN WAY OVERPAY FOR A LOT OF THESE BASE ROOKIES AT CARD SHOWS. I REALLY DIG THE REVOLUTION RC AND THE DONRUSS THE ROOKIES INSERT.

OK I POSTED SOMETHING, I PROMISE YOU'LL GET A NON SPORT CARD SOON, RIGHT NOW I'M GONNA WATCH A MOVIE ON VHS SINCE THERE'S NOTHING ELSE ON TV TONIGHT

Sunday, May 12, 2019

NON-SPORT FRANKENSET - CARD #2

THE SCANNER IS EVEN MORE BROKEN THAN IT WAS BEFORE AND I'M VERY UPSET ABOUT IT BUT THE SHOW MUST GO ON

I'VE SCANNED THE ENTIRETY OF THE NON-SPORTS FRANKENSET SO I'M GOOD FOR 43 MORE POSTS AT LEAST. CARD 1 IS HERE IF YOU MISSED IT ALTHOUGH I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU MISSED IT BECAUSE IT'S THE SAME 6 GUYS READING MY POSTS ALONG WITH A HANDFUL OF MARKETERS FROM ABU DHABI, KYIV AND KUALA LUMPUR. HELLO MY INTERNATIONAL READER FRIENDS!

CARD #2 IS A SIGNIFICANT ONE FOR THE BLOG, LET'S GET GOING

2 1992 Eclipse Famous Comic Book Creators - Wally Wood


WALLY WOOD IS THE BEST. HE WORKED WITH EVERYBODY. HE CREATED COMICS IN EVERY GENRE. EC, MARVEL, DC, PLAYBOY, UNDERGROUND COMIX. WORKED WITH EISNER, KURTZMAN, FRAZETTA, KIRBY, FEIFFER, DITKO, SPIEGELMAN. WAS ONE OF THE ORIGINAL GANG OF IDIOTS ON MAD. CREATED THE 22 PANELS THAT ALWAYS WORK WHICH IS BASICALLY A MASTER'S DEGREE FOR COMICS. HE CREATED TRADING CARDS FOR WOODY GELLMAN INCLUDING SOME DESIGNS FOR MARS ATTACKS. OH FORGET IT, I'LL BE TYPING ALL NIGHT IF I TRY TO EXPLAIN THE AWESOMENESS OF WALLY. JUST READ THIS BUT DON'T CLICK ON IT AT WORK BECAUSE BOOBIES INCLUDING THE INFAMOUS DISNEYLAND MEMORIAL ORGY, THE GRAT GRANDPAPPY OF RULE 34.


ECLIPSE WAS A COMIC BOOK PUBLISHER FROM THE LATE 70S TO EARLY 90S. THEY WERE A VERY INNOVATIVE COMPANY ONE OF THE BEST OF THE INDIE PUBLISHERS. THEY OFFERED OWNERSHIP RIGHTS TO CREATORS, PARTNERED WITH VIZ TO IMPORT MANGA TO THE US AND PUBLISHED GRAPHIC NOVELS BACK BEFORE THESE PRACTICES WERE A THING. THEY ALSO WERE ONE OF THE FIRST TO CREATE TRADING CARD SETS, OFTEN HORRIBLE AND SCANDALOUS TRADING CARD SETS. BUT ALSO MANY SUPER COOL SETS LIKE THE STARS OF THE NEGRO LEAGUES WITH ART BY MARK CHIARELLO. THEY ALSO MIGHT HAVE USED THE TEXT ON THE BACK OF THIS SET TO PROMOTE THEIR OWN WORK AS YOU CAN SEE FROM THE BACK OF THIS CARD. A FLOOD THAT WIPED OUT THEIR BACK STOCK AND THE 90S COMIC CRASH PUT THEM OUT OF BUSINESS BUT CRYSTALLIZED THEM AS THE ESSENTIAL 80S INDIE PUBLISHER. IF YOU'RE EVER HUNTING FOR CHEAP COMICS AND FIND ANYTHING FROM ECLIPSE YOU'LL PROBABLY HAVE A GOOD TIME.

THE FIRST RULE OF CINEMA IS SHOW DON'T TELL. THIS IS A SHITTY BLOG ABOUT WORTHLESS TRADING CARDS BUT THE RULE STILL FITS. LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT SOME WOOD GOODNESS


EC COMICS ARE THE BEST JUST LIKE WALLY WOOD IS THE BEST. HERE'S A WEIRD SCIENCE COVER BY WALLY, CHECK OUT THAT SPACE MONSTER. LOOKS LIKE THE LOVE CHILD OF A MARS ATTACKS ALIEN AND CTHULHU. THIS IS A GLADSTONE REPRINT OF WEIRD SCIENCE #16 AND WEIRD FANTASY #17. IN MY OPINION THE GLADSTONE REPRINTS ARE THE BEST OF THE BUNCH. I HAVE NO ORIGINAL EC COMICS BECAUSE IF I HAD THAT KINDA MONEY I'D BE SPENDING IT ON 1953 TOPPS HIGH NUMBERS. THIS ISSUE HAS TWO STORIES BY WOOD!


DOWN TO EARTH!!!!! CHECK OUT THAT BITCHIN SKULL. I'VE HAD TO USE MY PHONE'S ANCIENT CAMERA SINCE THE SCANNER IS KAPUTT SO THERE'S NO SENSE IN TRYING TO UPLOAD THE WHOLE STORY SINCE THE TEXT IS PROBABLY UNREADABLE. THIS STORY IS ABOUT A BUNCH OF PLANE CRASHES THAT QUICKLY TURNS INTO AN X-FILE EPISODE. SPOILER - COVER BOY MAKES AN APPEARANCE


THERE WILL COME SOFT RAINS...
THIS ONE IS BASED ON A BRADBURY STORY AND IS CREEPY AS HELL. THE SHADOW FAMILY IN THE FIRST PANEL SETS THE HORRIBLE TONE


THE HAUNT OF FEAR. ANOTHER GLADSTONE PRODUCTION WITH HOF #17 AND WEIRD SCIENCE-FANTASY #28 WITH A COVER BY GRAHAM INGELS. THE HAUNT OF FEAR IS MY FAVORITE OF THE HORROR TITLES BECAUSE THIS BOOK'S HOST IS THE OLD WITCH. WITCHES ARE HELLA COOL. WOOD'S STORY IS A SCI-FI ONE THOUGH


THIS STORY IS FANTASTIC I WISH I COULD COPYRIGHT VIOLATION THE WHOLE THING FOR YOU. THE BASIC GIST OF THIS ONE IS A STARFLEET-TYPE VESSEL IS EXPLORING THE GALAXY AND CAPTIAN NOT-KIRK IS BORED SHITLESS BECAUSE THEY KEEP FINDING RUINS FROM A GRAND CIVILIZATION. THEY LUCKILY FIND A LASERDISC THAT EXPLAINS THE DOWNFALL OF THIS GRAND SUPERIOR RACE. THERE'S A TWIST AT THE END WORTHY OF MARK MOTHERSBAUGH. DE-EVOLUTION IS REAL!


TWO-FISTED TALES! THIS ONE IS FROM GEMSTONE PUBLISHING, WHICH USED TO BE RUSS COCHRAN PUBLISHER WHO TOOK OVER FROM GLADSTONE SOMEHOW AND SNAGGED ALL THEIR BACKSTOCK AND STARTED REPRINTING ALL THE ISSUES IN ORDER AS SINGLE ISSUES AND WASN'T AS GOOD AS THE DOUBLE ISSUE ONES. WHATEVER HAPPENED THE PRICE WENT UP AND YOU GOT LESS COMIC SO FUCK THAT. I NORMALLY DO NOT CARE FOR WAR COMICS OR WAR MOVIES OR WAR ANYTHING BUT THIS ISSUE HAS AN AMAZING WALLY WOOD COVER AND ONE OF WALLY'S ALL TIME CLASSICS


YOU KNOW WHAT THIS ONE'S ABOUT. IT IS HORRIBLE. THAT FIRST PANEL. UGH


I'M SAD NOW. LETS HAVE SOME FUN COMFORTING HORROR. TALES FROM THE CRYPT! THE CRYPT-KEEPER LOOKS VERY DIFFERENT FROM WHAT US 21ST CENTURY CITIZENS ARE USED TO BUT THE OLD WITCH IS GORGEOUS AS EVER.THIS ISSUE IS FROM THAT RUSS COCHRAN PUBLISHER MIDDLE PERIOD AND INCLUDES TALES FROM THE CRYPT #24 AND CRIME SUSPENSTORIES #21. THE ISSUE PRINTS A LETTER FROM A COMICS DORK BITCHING ABOUT THE PRINT QUALITY OF THE REPRINTS AND RUSS TAKES IT IN STRIDE AND SUGGESTS HIS HARDCOVER EDITIONS. VERY SMOOTH MARKETING, RUSS. ZOMBIE QUICKSAND COVER IS BY THE GREAT AL FELDSTEIN


LOOKIT DAT FACE. DAT BEAUTIFUL HORRIBLE FACE. THIS IS A STANDARD POTBOILER ABOUT A GOLD DIGGING HUSBAND TRYING TO PUT HIS WIFE IN THE GRAVE FOR THE INHERITANCE MONEY. BUT UNCLE'S NOT HAPPY! REMEMBER THAT FELDSTEIN COVER?


HEY! ECLIPSE! WE'VE COME FULL CIRCLE. EVERYTHING HERE IS ALL WALLY. I ADORE THIS COVER. THE STYLIZED SIGNATURE TITLE. THE FLYING SAUCERS. LITTLE SPACE KID BRINGING HOME A DEADLY RAPTOR WHILE MOM PROTESTS. THAT OUTFIT COMBO OF SKIN-TIGHT SUPERHERO SPANDEX, A PINK APRON AND FRIGGIN RED STILETTOS IS THE MOST RETRO-FUTURISTIC SHIT I'VE EVER SEEN. INSIDE ARE THREE WALLY WOOD STORIES. I DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY WERE ORIGINALLY FROM, BUT THEY SURE AS HELL WEREN'T EC OR OLE DR. FRED WOULD'VE HAD SOME REAL INTERESTING SHIT TO SHOW TO CONGRESS


THE END. I'M ONLY SHOWING HALF THE FIRST PAGE BECAUSE THERE IS NUDITY ON LITERALLY EVERY PAGE OF THIS STORY. THIS IS SOME REAL HEAVY METAL TYPE SHIT WHERE THE HAPPY KINGDOM OF ELVES COLLAPSES IN BLOODSHED WHEN THE IMMORTAL WIZARD OF PEACE GOES AND FUCKS OFF SOMEWHERE FOR SOME REASON. SERIOUSLY THOUGH, THERE'S AN AVERAGE OF ABOUT 2 DEATHS AND 4 TITS ON EVERY PAGE AND THAT'S NOT EVEN COUNTING THE ASSES. SO MANY ASSES


SECOND STORY IS THE SCIENCAL FICTIONARY TYPE. NOSY HUMANS GO EXPLORE SOME PLANETS AND SEE BIG PILES OF SKELETONS OF CREATURES THEY DIDN'T KILL. HOW RUDE! HUMANS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONES TO MURDER ALL LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE. AFTER MORE SKELETON PLANETS THEY FINALLY FIND A CIVILIZATION TO DESTROY. AND THEY DO! THEN THE FUN BEGINS! SPOILER - EVERYONE DIES. JUST LIKE ROGUE ONE, BUT WITH SLIME


HERE'S ANOTHER FANTASY STORY WITH BEWBS. THIS WAS THE BEST PAGE TO POST BECAUSE IT ONLY HAS HALF A SIDEBOOB AND A FLYING PONY! THIS IS A CONAN TYPE STORY WHERE A BARBARIAN GETS PISSED OFF BY A COUPLE OF WIZARDS WHO TRY TO SNATCH HIS NAKED GIRLFRIEND MARISSA. AND SHE IS VERY NAKED ALTHOUGH WALLY DID THE THING WHERE HER LONG FLOWY HAIR USUALLY COVERS UP THE NIPS SO THIS ONE MUST HAVE BEEN FOR A SLIGHTLY HIGHER-CLASS PUBLICATION ORIGINALLY. BUT OUR BARBARIAN FRIEND ONLY HAS THE STANDARD LOINCLOTH AND GIRLFRIEND ONLY WEARS CLOTHES FOR LIKE TWO PANELS SPECIFICALLY FOR A PLOT POINT BEFORE TAKING THEM OFF IN RELIEF. AMUSINGLY ENOUGH ONE OF THE ASSHOLE WIZARDS IS NAMED THANOS AND YES HE IS PURPLE. I LIKED THIS STORY BEST BECAUSE TORIN THE BARBARIAN IS A DISCORDIAN AND FLYING PONIES OF COURSE.

WHEW! THIS WAS A LONG ONE! ALSO IMPORTANT BECAUSE NOW THIS IS A CARD AND COMIC BLOG! HA! HA! I SNUCK COMICS IN RIGHT UNDER YOUR NOSES! DON'T WORRY NO COMICS IN THE NEXT POST BUT AFTER THAT WHO KNOWS. TILL NEXT TIME, MAYBE SOONER IF MY @$%$# SCANNER WOULD START RESPONDING

Wednesday, May 8, 2019

Dime Box Junk - $3.00

HERE'S SOME MORE DIME BOX TRASH FOR YA

TYPING THIS UP WHILE LISTENING TO THE DODGERS GAME AND HONESTLY THIS IS NOT GONNA BE VERY WORDY CAUSE I JUST WANNA GO TO BED

2017 TOPPS CHROME BARTOLO COLON


I SHOULDA  CLEANED MY SCANNNER BEFORE THE SOFTWARE DECIDED TO GLITCH

OH WELL, BARTOLO'S ATLANTA TENURE WAS PRETTY FILTHY AS WELL. I CHERISH EVERY INNING. A CURSE ON MANFRED'S FAMILY FOR SEVEN GENERATIONS IF THIS COLLUSION BULLSHIT ENDS BIG SEXY'S CAREER



2013 PINNACLE SLUGFEST ADAM LAROCHE SLUGFEST


PINNACLE! DUFEX! ADAM LAROCHE! ECCH, WASHINGTON! 2013 WAS SUCH A WEIRD UNLOVED ANOMALY OF A SET BUT SO MANY OF THE INSERTS ARE JUST RIDICULOUS AMAZING. THESE THINGS SCAN SO WEIRD, I LOVE IT


ADAM LAROCHE WAS A HELLUVA PLAYER AND I DEEPLY REGRET HIS TRADE TO PITTSBURGH BUT IF HE WASN'T TRADED TO PITTSBURGH DOES FREDDIE FREEMAN HAPPEN BUT WHY WAS HE SO GOOD WITH WASHINGTON WHYYYYY. IN CONCLUSION THE LAROCHE TRADE IS A LAND OF CONTRASTS

1993 TED WILLIAMS MOTHERFUCKING POGS YO


AT LEAST ONE READER OF THIS POST IS GOING TO SEE A POG WITH TED WILLIAMS' FACE ON IT AND BE SO BEWILDERED THEIR BRAIN WILL OVERHEAT AND TURN TO STEAM AND SHOOT OUT THEIR EARS AND FLOAT AROUND THE ROOM LIKE A CLOUD WITH TINY LIGHTNING STRIKES ZAPPING THINGS OCCASIONALLY. FIRST THINGS FIRST. THERE WAS A TED WILLIAMS BASEBALL CARD SET IN 1993 AND 1994 FEATURING OLD TIMEY LEGENDS TYPE PLAYERS. THEY HAD A GIMMICK JUST LIKE TOPPS WITH GUM OR FLEER WITH STICKERS OR DONRUSS WITH PUZZLES OR UPPER DECK WITH HOLOGRAMS OR SCORE WITH THOSE SPORTSFLICSY TRIVIA THINGS. AND EVEN THOUGH MOST OF THOSE GIMMICKS HAD ALREADY BEEN ABANDONED, TED WILLIAMS HAD A UNIQUE GIMMICK AND THIS WAS IT:

INVISIBLE INK.

NO I'M NOT SHITTING YOU INVISIBLE INK

IS IT ANY SURPRISE AT ALL THAT THIS COMPANY CHOSE POGS AS AN INSERT SET

POGS ON CARDS IS SUCH AN INSANE CHOICE FOR A KINDA SORTA HIGHER-END PRODUCT MARKETED TOWARDS MIDDLE AGED WHITE DUDES WHO REMEMBERED PLAYERS FROM THE 50S AND 60S AND IT STILL ISN'T AS SILLY AS INVISIBLE INK SO PUT YOUR STEAM BRAIN BACK IN YOUR HEAD BEFORE IT SETS THE COUCH ON FIRE



BLANK BACKED POGS ARE SOME LASY ASS BULLSHIT BUT IT'S TEDDY BALLGAME SO WHAT THE HELL

2018 DIAMOND KINGS MOOSE SKOWRON


HEY, REMEMBER THAT 2019 DIAMOND KINGS CARD I POSTED A LITTLE WHILE BACK? REMEMBER HOW IT DIFFERED FROM THIS DESIGN? NO. NO YOU DON'T. ALL THESE NEW DK DESIGNS BLUR TOGETHER. OIL PAINTING FILTER PLUS SOME PAINT SPLOOSHES SO IT'S LIKE IT'S A WORK IN PROGRESS OR THE ARTIST DROPPED THE CANVAS AND PALLET DOWN THE STAIRS. I STILL BUY THE STUFF THO



AH THE BACKS I REMEMBER, THE 2019 VERSION HAD A FRAME AROUND THE BACK AND THIS ONE HAS A SMALLER FRAME SURROUNDED BY BOB ROSS HAPPY FLUFFY CLOUDS. OVAL FRAMES ARE NORMAL CARDS AND RECTANGLE FRAMES ARE VARIATIONS. WHY DO I KNOW THIS.

MOOSE WAS A HELLUVA PLAYER AND HAD THE GOOD FORTUNE TO PLAY ON SOME MONSTER YANKEE TEAMS. WHEN DESPICABLE STAT SNOBS START CRAPPING ON WHATEVER HALL OF FAME CANDIDATE WHO SHOULD HAVE BEEN ELECTED TEN YEARS AGO AND THROW OUT THAT OLD CHESTNUT "HALL OF VERY GOOD" ONE OF THE THINGS I THINK OF IS HOW THE PLAYERS LIKE MOOSE HERE THAT FILL UP THAT HALLOWED IMAGINARY HALL ARE INFINITELY MORE INTERESTING THAN THE LATEST FORMULA FOR DETERMINING A PLAYER'S FINANCIAL WORTH THAT'S BEING ABUSED TO DEPRESS FREE AGENT WAGES IN A WAY THAT WILL ULTIMATELY WIPE OUT A SEASON OR TWO WITH LOCKOUTS AND STRIKES. FORTUNATELY WHEN MANFRED CANCELS A WORLD SERIES DUE TO A WORK STOPPAGE JUST LIKE HIS PREDECESSOR WE'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO READ UP ON BILL'S PLAYOFF HEROICS. HA HA PEPITONE WAS SUCH A DOUCHE.

COMIC BALL 2(?) KEN GRIFFEY SR HOLOGRAM


OK GOT A LITTLE DARK ON THAT LAST CARD. LET'S LIGHTEN THINGS UP WITH A HOLOGRAM CARD FROM WHAT I *THINK* IS UPPER DECK COMIC BALL 2 BUT I'M NOT SURE AND I'M NOT LOOKING IT UP. MAMA BEAR IS ABSOLUTELY HITTING ON THE ELDER GRIFFEY. HERE AND IT SURE DON'T LOOK LIKE HE MINDS TOO MUCH. CHUCK JONES IS A FURRY. NORMALLY I'D TELL KEN NOT TO MESS WITH STRANGE BEARS BUT PAPA BEAR IS LIKE WHAT, THREE FEET TALL? HE CAN TAKE HIM WITHOUT TOO MUCH FUSS. GO GET YOU SOME HOT BILF ACTION MR GRIFFEY

I APOLOGIZE FOR THIS POST AND MY ENTIRE BODY OF WORK. IT IS WRONG AND I AM WRONG. I PROMISE TO POST NICE NON-SPORTS CARDS IN THE FUTURE

Sunday, May 5, 2019

NON-SPORT FRANKENSET - CARD #1

ALL RIGHTY THEN, TIME FOR THIS TO HAPPEN

ON MY LONG HIATUS I DID A LOT OF SORTING AND SHUFFLING AND GOOFING AROUND IN VARIOUS WAYS WITH TRADING CARDS. ONE OF THE THINGS I WAS DOING WAS WORKING ON VARIOUS FRANKENSETS. GINTER MINIS, TOPPS GOLD PARALLELS, HERITAGE CHROMES, ALL SORTS OF FRANKENSETS. THEN ONE DAY I LOOKED AT THE GINORMOUS PILE OF RANDOM NON-SPORTS CARDS PILED UP IN THE CORNER AND HAD AN IDEA

AN AWFUL IDEA

THE JUNKIE HAD A WONDERFUL AWFUL IDEA

YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS BECAUSE IT'S IN THE TITLE

IF YOU'RE NEW HERE AND DON'T KNOW WHAT A FRANKENSET IS, IT IS BASICALLY A DIY TRADING CARD SET THAT IS BUILT WITH WHATEVER CARDS YOU WANT FROM WHATEVER SET YOU WANT. I STOLE THE IDEA FROM BEN HENRY'S BEST OF '80S TOPPS SET AND THEN SOMEONE ELSE PICKED IT UP AND NOW THERE'S ENTIRE BLOGS DEDICATED TO IT AND GOD I LOVE HOW THE INTERNET SPREADS STUPID FUN THINGS. THE BASIC IDEA IS TO PICK A THEME LIKE PARALLELS OR A TIME PERIOD OR MAYBE A BRAND AND FILL OUT CARDS FROM #1-HOWEVER MANY YOU WANT THE SET TO BE. IT'S NOT NECESSARY TO PICK A THEME OR EVEN GO NUMERICALLY THOUGH MAKE AN ALL-RED BORDER FRANKENSET, AN ALL INITIALS SET GOING IN ORDER FROM AA TO ZZ, AN ALL CARDS YOU FOUND RANDOMLY ON THE GROUND IN UNEXPECTED PLACES. LET YOUR INNER MAD SCIENTIST FREE, BE CREATIVE

I AM MORE UPTIGHT. I MUST HAVE ORDER. THERE ARE RULES, SMOKEY, THIS IS NOT NAM. HERE ARE MY GUIDING PRINCIPLES FOR THIS PARTICULAR TRADING CARD PROJECT:

1: COLLECTING IN NUMERICAL ORDER ONE CARD EACH WITH CARD NUMBER 1 TO 44 AND A STICKER SET NUMBERED FROM 1 TO 11
1a: ADDITIONAL SERIES 2 (45-88) SERIES 3 (89-132) ETC. MAY BE BUILT IF I CAN FIND THE CARDS
2: CARDS IN THE SERIES MUST ALL BE FROM  DIFFERENT NON-SPORTS CARD SETS
2a: SUBSEQUENT SERIES MAY REUSE SETS FROM PRECIOUS SERIES, BUT MUST NOT DUPLICATE A SET WITHIN THE SERIES
3: NO VINTAGE. THOSE CARDS WILL BE USED IN YET ANOTHER FRANKENSET(S) EVENTUALLY. VINTAGE SHALL BE DEFINED AS ANYTHING OLDER THAN WHAT I COULD HAVE GOTTEN MY HANDS ON AS A KID
4: NO SCROUNGING CARDS OUT OF SETS, I HAVE TO USE THE BIG-ASS PILE OF DOUBLES AND RANDOM ODDBALL STUFF I'VE PICKED UP HERE AND THERE
5: EVERYTHING IN THE SET IS COOL AS HELL, NO EXCEPTIONS

GOT IT? GOOD. HERE'S THE FIRST CARD. YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS ALREADY FROM THE IMAGE PREVIEW

#1 1977 Wonder Bread Star Wars - Luke Skywalker


SO KINDA BREAKING A RULE WITH MY VERY FIRST CARD WHICH IS EXTREMELY APPROPRIATE. I MEAN, IT'S POSSIBLE I ATE SOME WONDERBREAD WITH A CARD IN THE PACKAGE AS A KID, BUT THIS WOULD FIT IN THE EVENTUAL VINTAGE SET MUCH BETTER. BUT SCREW THAT NOISE, THIS IS THE COOL SET AND THIS IS A VERY COOL CARD TO OPEN THINGS UP. '71 TOPPS STYLE BLACK BORDER. HAND-DRAWN LOOKING STAR WARS LOGO CRAWLING UP THE SIDE. AWKWARD PHOTO WITH LUKE HOLDING A WEAPON HE NEVER USED IN THE FILM. SUPER BRIGHT RED ON YELLOW NAME BAR. IT'S GLORIOUS


MY GOD LOOK AT THAT HUGE FONT
EVEN MY GARBAGE EYES CAN READ THAT. THESE CARDS COULD BE GOTTEN EITHER RIGHT IN THE BAG WITH THE BREAD OR THROUGH A MAIL IN OFFER. I'M GUESSING THIS ONE GOT TO LIVE WITH THE BREAD FOR A LITTLE WHILE BEFORE MOVING TO A JUNK DRAWER WHERE ALL THE BREADLY OILS COULD CONGEAL. THESE CARDS AREN'T SUPER RARE EXCEPT WHEN IN JAYM-MEENT CONDITION AND AS A BONUS NOT MANY PEOPLE KNOW WHAT THEY HELL THEY ARE SO THEY CAN BE FOUND CHEAP. THIS WAS BOUGHT AT THE FLEA-MARKET STALL WITH ALL THE JUNK WAX STAR CARDS PRICED AT JUNE '93 BECKETT HI LEVELS FOR ONLY A QUARTER! HOW COOL IS THAT

EXPECT ONE OF THESE POSTS EVERY WEEK ON SUNDAY AND MAYBE A FEW SPRINKLED IN DURING THE WEEK IF I'M FEELING AMBITIOUS! HOT DAMN I FEEL LIKE A REAL BLOGGER AGAIN

Friday, May 3, 2019

Dine Box Junk - $2.50

THE WEIRD CHANGE TOTAL FOR MY DIME BOX POSTS WAS BUGGING ME SO HERE'S A QUICKIE THIRTY CENT POST TO GET THINGS BACK ON TRACK

HEYWARD AND HORFORD, MY TWO FAVORITE PLAYERS FOR ABOUT A DECADE.

BUT THEY'RE BOTH OUT OF ATLANTA AND THEN TRAE AND ACUÑA HAPPENED SO NOW I LOOK FONDLY BACK ON BOTH AND GET ALL FROTHY ABOUT THE NEW KIDS IN TOWN

HOWEVER - COLLECTING TWO GUYS WITH AMAZING SPORTS SKILLS THAT ARE NOT AT ALL APPRECIATED BY THE AVERAGE JOE COLLECTOR HAS IT'S PERKS. DIME BOXES ARE FILTHY WITH 'EM. AND SINCE HORFORD IS ON THE HATED LOUSY STINKIN ROTTEN MISERABLE AWFUL TERRIBLE NO-GOOD TACKY CELTICS IT'S EASY TO PICK HIM OUT OF A BOX SINCE THE CARDS ARE MOSTLY GREEN. HERE'S THREE OF 'EM I NABBED ON MY LAST DIME BOX RUN

2018-19 DONRUSS AL


LOOKIT AL GRABBING A BOARD. THE CROWD IS TRANSFIXED. AT LEAST I THINK THAT'S WHAT HE'S DOING HERE. BASKETBALL CARDS ARE MORE COMPLICATED THAN BASEBALL CARDS WHAT WITH THE "TOPPS THREE POSES" FLAGSHIP PHILOSOPHY. THE DESIGN AIN'T BAD. ODD CHOICE WITH THE BRONZE FOIL BUT THE REST OF THE DESIGN LOOKS LIKE '84 AND '87 DONRUSS MIGHT BE IT'S GRANDPARENTS.


THE BACK IS TYPICAL "PANINI BORING" BUT AT LEAST IT'S NOT IN BLACK & WHITE

2018-19 PANINI CONTENDERS AL


LOVE THIS DUMB SET

WILL NEVER GET MORE BECAUSE I'M BROKEASSBROKE AND THERE ARE OTHER DIME BOXES TO MINE INSTEAD OF BUYING THIS STUFF


DOESN'T SCORE A BILLION POINTS A GAME BUT HE'S A ROCK IN THE MIDDLE
AWWWW YEAAAAAH

2018-19 OPTIC AL

HEY, THE SAME CARD AS BEFORE BUT CHROMEY. BUT LOOK! A NEW PHOTO! AND WOW! YOU CAN READ THE NAME NOW! AND THE SWOOSHY BITS LOOK NICER. IT'S LIKE PANINI ACTUALLY PUT SOME EFFORT INTO THEIR MID-TIER FLAGSHIP PARALLEL

BACK IS EXACTLY THE SAME EXCEPT THERE'S AN O INSTEAD OF A D

CAN'T EXPECT 'EM TO PUT TOO MUCH EFFORT. PEOPLE ONLY LOOK AT THE FRONT ANYWAYS

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE HORFORDS. STAY TUNED WHEN I DO THE EXACT SAME POST WITH HEYWARDS IN FOUR MONTHS


Wednesday, May 1, 2019

BIGGUNS #1 - PUDGE PLAQUE

SO THE SOFTWARE FOR MY SCANNER WON'T FUCKING OPEN ANY MORE AND I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON. AS A RESPECTED IT PROFESSIONAL I HAVE THEORIES:

- A WINDOWS UPDATE BROKE SHIT AS IT IS WONT TO DO

- I'VE HAD TO USE FIREFOX RECENTLY FOR SOME STUFF AND MOZILLA LITERALLY ATE HALF MY RAM. JUST SNUCK INTO MY HOUSE AND GOBBLED IT UP

- A CABLE'S LOOSE. HONESTLY ABOUT 90% OF COMPUTER HORSESHIT IS EXACTLY THIS

- EPSON HACKED MY ASS, REALIZED I'M USING A PRINTER I BOUGHT IN 2006 (YES IT'S THE SAME DAMN ONE FOLKS, I'M A CHEAPASS) AND CALLED BULLSHIT ON THAT, I GOTTA BUY A NEW PRINTER WHETHER I LIKE IT OR NOT NOW

I SAY SCREW ALL THAT NOISE, I'LL GET THIS DAMN THING TO WORK IF I HAVE TO DIG UP ONE OF MY OLD DESKTOPS FROM THE FLOODED BASEMENT AND RUN IT ON THAT

IN THE MEANTIME I'M GONNA HAVE TO BE FRUGAL WITH MY CARD PICTURES. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ONE HUGE POST ABOUT BIG-ASS CARDS THAT ARE HELLA COOL BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH, BUT NOW DUE TO PERSNICKETY PRINTER SOFTWARE IS NOW A SERIES OF POSTS! AT LEAST FIVE BUT HONESTLY I GOT GIGANTOR ODDBALL NONSENSE ALL OVER THE PLACE SO IF I - NO. WHEN I GET THE SCANNER WORKING AGAIN I CAN ADD MORE. THERE'S THE FIRST ONE AND IT HAS A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART

PLAY BALL WHO KNOWS WHAT YEAR CARLTON FISK BIG OL' PLASTIC  "SUPERSTAR" COLLECTIBLE PLAQUE


THIS IS A LARGE PLASTIC MONSTROSITY WITH HALL OF FAMER CARLTON FISK'S MUG ON IT. TO GIVE YOU AN IDEA OF THE SIZE, THIS IMAGE IS NOT CROPPED. I PUT IT ON THE SCANNER BED AND THIS IS WHAT CAME OUT. I HAVE NO CLUE WHO MADE IT OR WHAT YEAR IT WAS PRODUCED BUT I'M SURE SOMEONE OUT THERE KNOWS SO I'LL LET THEM DO ALL THE WORK. IF YOU PEEP AT THE CHECKLIST YOU CAN MAKE A BALLPARK ESTIMATE. I BOUGHT THIS AT A KAY-BEE TOY STORE (AS IS EVIDENT FROM THE STICKER) MY SOPHOMORE YEAR IN COLLEGE AROUND 92-93 OR SO AND IT WAS MARKED DOWN TO A QUARTER AND WAS ALREADY IN THIS MANGLED CONDITION. THEY HAD MANY OTHERS BUT I DON'T KNOW WHO BECAUSE ALL I SAW WAS THIS PUDGE. WELL, OBVIOUSLY NO MURPH OR HE'D BE IN THIS POST AS WELL. I HAVE TAKEN LOVING CARE OF THIS... THING FOR OVER 25 YEARS AND HAVE LEFT IT MINT IN PACKAGE BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE EVEN LESS IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH IT IF I TOOK IT OUT EVEN WITH A CONVENIENT DISPLAY EASEL INCLUDED.



THERE'S A STORY BEHIND THIS THING AS WELL. WHEN I COLLECTED IN HIGH SCHOOL I WASN'T SUPER BRAVES-FOCUSED BECAUSE THE BRAVES WERE HOT BUTTERED ASS BACK THEN. I HAD MORE PLAYER COLLECTIONS AT THE TIME AND CARLTON FISK WAS ONE OF MY VERY FAVORITES FOR SOME REASON. NO IDEA HOW IT HAPPENED, I NEVER EVER SAW AMERICAN LEAGUE GAMES AT THE TIME BUT I GOT OBSESSED WITH PUDGE (AND LATER IVAN RODRIGUEZ AS THE SUCCESSOR TO THE PUDGE MANTLE) AND EVEN BOUGHT HIS ROOKIE CARD AT FULL LATE 80S PRICE WHICH IS STILL MY RECORD FOR A SINGLE PURCHASE TO THIS DAY. WHEN I GOT INTO COLLEGE THE BRAVES INEXPLICABLY GOT GOOD SO I LOVED THE BRAVES AGAIN - BUT. EVERYONE ELSE LOVED THE BRAVES TOO AND THIS CAUSED PROBLEMS WHEN PLAYING BASEBALL ON THE SUPER NINTENDO. SINCE I WAS ALREADY A FISK FANBOI AND FRANK THOMAS WAS KICKING ASS AND BO JACKSON WAS ON THE TEAM AND THEY GOT THOSE COOL-ASS NEW UNIFORMS WITH THE SLICK BLACK AND WHITE INTERLOCKING S-O-X CAPS I CLAIMED THE WHITE SOX WHEN PLAYING WHATEVER BASEBALL GAME WE HAD WHICH APPARENTLY WASN'T LICENSED  BY THE MLBPA BECAUSE I REMEMBER THE ROSTER HAS SLIGHTLY OFF NAMES LIKE TIM RAINES WAS TIM SNOWS.

SO I'M A POSER SOX FAN NOW AND I HAVE MY COOL FITTED HAT THAT I WORE UNTIL A BIRD POOPED RIGHT ON THE LOGO AS I WAS LEAVING A SHOWING OF THE IN-LAWS WITH ALAN ARKIN AND PETER FALK  WHICH IS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT STORY FOR ANOTHER TIME. THE DAY I FOUND THIS BIZARRE ARTIFACT I WAS AT THE MALL KILLING TIME WITH A BUDDY OF MINE. MY FRIEND HAD A ROOMATE NAMED NIMISH PATEL WHO WAS VERY COOL AND SADLY I WILL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN BECAUSE THERE ARE LIKE 8 MILLION NIMISH PATELS OUT THERE. THIS GUY HAD A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY AND THE THING HE CHOSE TO DO WITH IT WAS MEMORIZE THE RECORD HIGH AND LOW TEMPERATURE FOR EACH DATE. THEN HE WOULD ASK EVERYONE HE MET THEIR BIRTHDAY AND TELL THEM THE RECORD TEMPERATURE FOR THAT DAY. LITERALLY EVERYONE. AND HONESTLY I HAVE NO IDEA IF HE ACTUALLY MEMORIZED THE TEMPERATURES OR IF HE WAS JUST BULLSHITTING EVERYONE. HELL, BEING THAT LEVEL OF CON MAN TO HAVE THE WHOLE CAMPUS REMEMBER YOU AS THE WEATHER GUY IS EVEN MORE IMPRESSIVE THAN MEMORIZING  EVERYTHING ANYWAY. THE POINT IS THIS GUY WAS REALLY COOL AND KINDA WEIRD AND HE ALSO HAD THIS THING HE DID WHERE HE'D FAKE BEING STARTLED AND MAKE A STRANGE BBBLBLBB NOISE EVERY SO OFTEN FOR COMEDIC PURPOSES. THE GUY HAD AMAZING TIMING AND NO HE'S NOT THE STAND-UP COMEDIAN. THERE REALLY ARE A TON OF NIMISH PATELS OUT THERE.

I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT THE HELL WE WERE DOING AT THE MALL, BUT I DO KNOW WHAT WE WERE DOING AT KAY-BEES. I WAS SCROUNGING FOR DISCOUNTED TRADING CARDS AND MY FRIEND WAS SCOPING OUT THE ACTION FIGURES. HE WAS SUPER BIG INTO SPAWN AND BATMAN: THE ANIMATED SERIES AND WAS COLLECTING A COMPLETE SET OF THE TOYS FOR BOTH. I REMEMBER HE HAD A HELLUVA SPAWN COLLECTION BACK IN THE DAY. THE BATMAN COLLECTION WAS COMPLETE EXCEPT FOR THE PENGUIN. APPARENTLY THE PENGUIN WAS SUPER RARE WHICH IS BULLSHIT BECAUSE THE PENGUIN IS AN AWESOME CHARACTER. HE LOOKED EVERYWHERE FOR THAT DAMN PENGUIN AND I DON'T THINK HE EVER FOUND IT. TO THIS DAY WHEN I FIND MYSELF SOMEWHERE THAT HAS BATMAN TOYS I LOOK FOR THE PENGUIN AND IT'S NEVER THERE. SO HE'S THERE DIGGING THROUGH THE RACK LOOKING FOR A COOL ACTION FIGURE AND I'M WANDERING AROUND THE BACK BORED BECAUSE I DON'T PLAY WITH CHILDREN'S TOYS, I DO SOPHISTICATED THINGS LIKE READ COMIC BOOKS AND PLAY VIDEO GAMES AND COLLECT BASEBALL CARDS. THEN THERE ON THE BACK WALL - PUDGE PLAQUE

WHEN I SAW IT, I APPARENTLY COPIED NIMISH'S STARTLE SHAKE HBLBLLBBBLB ANTICS PERFECTLY WHICH MY FRIEND FOUND HALF FRIGHTENING AND HALF HILARIOUS

THAT'S IT, THAT'S THE STORY. CHECK OUT THAT CHECKLIST THO. 22 HALL OF FAMERS AND IF YOU WENT BACK IN TIME AND ASKED YOUR YOUNG, DUMB SELF WHICH 22 WOULD BE THE ONES TO GET IN I BET THEY WOULDN'T GET HALF OF 'EM RIGHT

Thursday, April 25, 2019

Dime Box Junk - $2.20

I USED TO BE REALLY GOOD AT FANTASY SPORTS BUT I'M NOT ANYMORE BECAUSE I DON'T CARE AND TO WIN YOU HAVE TO HUSTLE AND PICK OUT ALL THE SLEEPERS AND TROLL THAT WAIVER WIRE AND GENERALLY MAKE GOOD DECISIONS WHICH I DON'T DO MUCH OF ANYMORE

BUT! I'VE GOTTEN CONNED INTO JOINING A FEW LEAGUES IN THE PAST COUPLE OF YEARS AND I'M KINDA ENJOYING IT EVEN THOUGH I AM THOROUGHLY MEDIOCRE AT IT NOW. ONE THING I LIKE TO DO IS SCROUNGE AROUND DIME BOXES AND PICK UP CARDS OF PLAYERS ON MY TEAM. HERE'S A FEW RECENT EXAMPLES

2019 DONRUSS MAX MUNCY '85 SUBSET? INSERT? PARALLEL?


THIS IS MY FIRST 2019 DONRUSS CARD AND I DIG IT. I ABANDONED DONRUSS A COUPLE YEARS AGO WHEN THEY NERFED THEIR $5 VALUE PACKS AND TOOK OUT ALL THEIR INSERTS. ALL THE INSERTS ENDED UP IN DIME BOXES ANYWAY [foreshadowning] SO IT WORKED OUT PRETTY WELL FOR ME. HOWEVER, I DON'T UNDERSTAND WTF IS UP WITH DONRUSS AT ALL ANYMORE. I HAVE ALWAYS LIKED THEIR RETRO DESIGNED CARDS BUT IT KINDA LOOKS LIKE THEY HAVE MORPHED FROM AN INSERT SET TO A BASE CARD? MAYBE? I DON'T KNOW. ALLS I KNOW IS THIS 1985 BLACK BORDER DESIGN IS DOPE AS FUUUUUUUUCK AND I WANT THEM ALL. YES I KNOW THE GENERIC UNIFORMS LOOK DUMB BUT I'VE PLAYED ENOUGH UNLICENSED BASEBALL VIDEO GAMES WITH TEAMS LIKE GHASTLY MONSTERS, NINJA BLACK SOX AND HUMONGOUS WOMBATS THAT THIS KIND OF THING DOESN'T PHASE ME


MAX HAS HIT A LOTTA DINGERS ON NOT MANY HITS SO HE'S HELPING ONE STAT AND KILLING ANOTHER WHICH IS PROBABLY THE OVERRIDING THEME OF MY ROSTER. NOT GONNA LIE I WENT INTO THE DRAFT WITH A HALF-ASSED PLAN THAT WENT UTTERLY TO SHIT BY ROUND FIVE RESULTING IN A DRAFT MELTDOWN. HONESTLY I SHOULD BE WAAAAY WORSE THAN I AM NOW CONSIDERING  3 OF MY TOP 8 PICKS HAVE PLAYED NOT A SINGLE INNING THIS YEAR. AND I DRAFTED THESE GUYS THIS WASN'T A OOPS THE DRAFT WAS LAST NIGHT AND I FORGOT, THIS WAS A OOPS I SCREWED EVERYTHING UP AND PANICKED FOR THE NEXT DOZEN PICKS

 2018-19 PANINI PRIZM VICTOR OLADIPO


LOL YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS AN ALL BASEBALL POST? NOPE. I ONLY FOUND THREE CARDS FROM MY TEAM AT THE LCS' DIME BOX MOSTLY BECAUSE I COULDN'T QUITE REMEMBER THE PLAYERS ON MY TEAM OTHER THAN THE GUYS WHO WERE IN THE 50 CENT BOXES. IF YOU FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER YOU HAVE PROBABLY HEARD ME COMPLAIN ABOUT TOPPS CHROME AT SOME POINT. I DON'T LIKE IT, NEVER LIKED IT, WHAT'S THIS LAZY CRAP, IT'S JUST THE BASE DESIGN AGAIN, STICK TO FINEST, WHY ARE AUTOGRAPHS PART OF THE BASE SET, NOW THEY'RE ALL CURLED UP, UGH THIS IS TERRIBLE, DIE TOPPS DIE.

FOR SOME DUMBASS REASON I FRIGGIN LOVE PANINI PRIZM. I DON'T KNOW WHY I AM THIS WAY.


I WAS IN THE CARDS ON CARDS FANTASY BASKETBALL LEAGUE THIS PAST YEAR AND FOR THIS ONE I ACTUALLY DID OOPS THE DRAFT WAS LAST NIGHT AND I FORGOT SO I GOT A COMPLETELY RANDOM SELECTION OF PLAYERS THAT I NEVER WOULD HAVE PICKED OTHERWISE. EXCEPT FOR JOHN COLLINS, I WOULD HAVE SELECTED HIM IN THE SECOND ROUND AFTER I SNAGGED TRAE YOUNG IN THE FIRST. THEN AL HORFORD, THEN JEFF TEAGUE PROBABLY, THEN I WOULD HAVE TRIED TO PICK JASON TERRY EVEN THOUGH HE'S BEEN OUT OF THE LEAGUE FOR YEARS. WHAT I'M SAYING IS THAT FLAKING OUT THE NIGHT OF THE DRAFT WAS THE BEST POSSIBLE SCENARIO FOR ME.

VICTOR OLADIPO WAS A SUPER HIGH PICK WHERE I WAS COMPLETELY ????? WHEN I LOOKED OVER MY ROSTER THE NEXT DAY. WHO IS THIS GUY AND WHY IS HE UNDROPPABLE. BUT THEN I GOT TO FOLLOW HIS PERFORMANCE THROUGHOUT THE YEAR AND FOUND OUT THIS GUY IS REALLY GOOD! YEAH! I HAVE GOOD PLAYERS ON MY TEAM AND THAT IS GOOD! I LIKE VICTOR OLADIPO AND LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING HIM KICK ASS FOR THE REST OF HIS CAREER. THEN HIS LEG BLEW UP IN A HORRIFIC INJURY AND HE WAS OUT FOR THE SEASON AND I WAS SAD. NOT FOR MY TEAM BECAUSE I WAS BURIED EARLY ON BUT FOR VICTOR. HE SHOULDA BEEN TEARING UP THE PLAYOFFS RIGHT NOW. BUT I LEARNED ABOUT A GOOD PLAYER AND I'M ACTUALLY ENJOYING THE NBA AGAIN! THIS IS THE GREAT THING ABOUT FANTASY SPORTS. ABSOLUTELY DO NOT ASK ME TO JOIN YOUR NFL LEAGUE THIS FALL.

2019 DIAMOND KINGS LUIS SEVERINO


LIKE ALL THREE BASEBALL CARDS IN THIS POST THIS IS MY FIRST CARD FROM THIS SET. NOW I CAN JUDGE THE ENTIRE PRODUCT LINE WITH IMPUNITY. DIAMOND KINGS, IS, WELL, DIAMOND KINGS. AT LEAST THE PANINI VERSION. WHAT IS THAT, YOU ASK? ELABORATE, MAYHAPS? WELL, OK. DIAMOND KINGS IS A BIG SLOPPY MESS. THE FRONTS HAVE THIS PHOTOSHOPPED FAKE PAINTING MOTIF, THE BACKS HAVE A FRAME MOTIF. IF YOU TOOK AWAY MY GLASSES SO I COULDN'T READ THE COPYRIGHT AND GAVE ME ONE CARD FROM EVERY DIAMOND KINDS BASE SET I WOULD HAVE NO CHANCE OF IDENTIFYING THE YEAR OF THE CARD BECAUSE THEY ALL HAVE THE SLOPPY PHOTOSHOPPED PAINTING THING GOING ON. NEVERTHELESS. I LOVE PAINTINGS AND ENJOY THE WHOLE AESTHETIC OF IT ALL. EVEN THOUGH THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY I'M PAYING 8-10 BUCKS PER PACK OR WHATEVER NONSENSE THEY'RE CHARGING FOR THESE THINGS AT HOBBY SHOPS


SO SEVERINO JUST GOT PUT ON THE 60-DAY DISABLED LIST SO THE YANKEES COULD PICK UP CAMERON MAYBIN BECAUSE THE REST OF THE ROSTER HAS SIMULTANEOUSLY DROPPED DEAD AS WELL. LUIS WAS MY #8 OVERALL PICK AND IS SURPRISINGLY NOT THE DUMBEST THING I DID AFTER MY FIFTH ROUND PANIC. WHILE I WAS DRAFTING I MADE NOTES OF WHO I PICKED AND WHO I PASSED UP SO I COULD LOOK BACK LATER AND SEE WHAT AM IMBECILE I WAS. FOR EXAMPLE: FOR MY FIRST ROUND PICK I WANTED ACUÑA BUT I PICKED 8TH OR 10TH OR SOMETHING SO MY CHOICE WAS BETWEEN FREDDIE FREEMAN AND JOSE ALTUVE. I PICKED FAB FIVE FREDDIE BECAUSE OF COURSE I DID WHICH WAS PROBABLY STUPID BUT WHO CARES.

FOR LUIS SEVERINO MY NOTE FOR ALTERNATE PLAYER WAS FUCK IT

2017-18 PANINI REVOLUTION NIKOLA JOKIC



THE SCAN FOR THIS CARD DOES NOT DO THIS ANY JUSTICE. IN HAND THIS CARD LOOKS LIKE THE WIN SCREEN FOR A GAME OF YAR'S REVENGE EXCEPT INSTEAD OF A ROBOT FLY YOU ARE A GIGANTIC SERBIAN POINT-CENTER. BASEBALL CARDERS SHIT ALL OVER PANINI ALL THE TIME AND JUSTIFIABLY SO. BUT LOOKING THRU THEIR BASKETBALL PRODUCTS THERE'S A LOT OF CRAZY FUN CRAP LIKE THIS PACIFIC RIPOFF. I WISH BASEBALL HAD MORE CRAZY FUN CRAP LIKE THIS SHINY NIGHTMARE. AND THAT BACK!!! THIS ENTIRE CARD IS A 90'S FEVER DREAM


PRETTY SURE NIKOLA WAS MY #1 PICK AND AGAIN I WAS ALL WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY. I KNOW WHO THIS GUY IS NOW AND HE IS AWESOME. BIG WHITE GUY RUMBLING DOWN THE COURT DISHING DIMES AND CAUSING HAVOC. I'VE HAD SOME FUN WATCHING YOUTUBE HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS GUY LIKE THIS ONE HERE. PRETTY SURE HE LED MY TEAM IN ASSISTS WHICH TELLS YOU ABOUT THE STATE OF MY POINT GUARDS. I'M ALSO ENJOYING SEEING HIM JUMP UP AND DOWN ON SAN ANTONIO IN THE PLAYOFFS EVEN THOUGH THE SPURS ARE MY UNOFFICIAL SECOND NBA TEAM. IMAGINE A GIANNIS-JOKIC MATCHUP IN THE FINALS. HOOOO-WEEEE!

2019 QYPSY GUEEN TOMMY PHAM


I HAVE REALLY ENJOYED QYPSY GUEEN SINCE THEY TRANSITIONED FROM THEIR VICTORIAN MISERABLE DESIGN SCHEME TO THEIR MORE RECENT CARNIVAL SIDESHOW POSTER MOTIF. THAT BEING SAID WHILE I ADORED THE DESIGN TWO YEARS AGO AND LOVED LAST YEARS THIS YEAR IS STARTING TO LOOK LIKE THE VICTORIANS ARE TRYING TO MAKE A COMEBACK AND MISERABLE UP THE NEW WHIMSICAL DESIGNS. FRONTS ARE LOOKING A LITTLE DARKER THIS YEAR BUT THAT LOVELY BLUE ON THE BACK IS NICE. ALSO: DIGGIN THROUGH THE STACK OF GQ IN THE DIME BOX HOO BOY ARE THERE A BUNCH OF JABRONIS IN THAT CHECKLIST. MANY COMPLAIN ABOUT THE NON-SPORTS CARDS IN ALLEN & GINTER BUT I'D RATHER HAVE THOSE THAN ALL THE NON-STARS CARDS IN THIS SET. SAVE THE JABRONIS FOR FLAGSHIP, I WANT STARS IN MY WEIRDO OFF-BRAND NOVELTY SETS


TOMMY PHAM. THIS IS THE GUY I PICKED IN THE FIFTH ROUND WHEN MY DRAFT TRAIN COMPLETELY DERAILED AND TOOK OUT A SCHOOL, A CHURCH AND THREE ORPHANAGES.SO WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS THIS: FIRST THREE ROUNDS I GOT A GUY I WAS 100% HAPPY WITH. ROUND FOUR I WAS FACED WITH THIS CHOICE: CARLOS CORREA OR OZZIE ALBIES. WANTED THEM BOTH, A LOT. I KNEW CARLOS WAS GONE IF I DIDN'T PICK HIM. WAS PRETTY SURE OZZIE WOULD LAST ANOTHER ROUND AND FALL TO ME AS HIS OVERALL RANKING WAS A FEW SPOTS UNDER MY NEXT SCHEDULED PICK

HE WENT LIKE 2 PICKS BEFORE MINE

I HAD NO PLAN B

MY FACE WHEN OZZIE GOT PICKED:


FORTUNATELY, I HAD NO TIME TO PANIC. I SAW TOMMY PHAM HIGH ON THE DRAFT BOARD, REMEMBERED HE GOT TRADED TO THE RAYS AND WOULD GET LOTS OF PLAYING TIME AND SNAPPED HIM UP. HE'S PLAYED REALLY WELL THIS YEAR SO FAR AND I'M HAPPY WITH THE SELECTION. AFTER THAT THOUGH, WELL THINGS WENT POORLY. REMEMBER THOSE DRAFT NOTES I MENTIONED BEFORE? HERE'S MY NOTES FOR ROUNDS 4-11. FIRST NAME IS WHO I PICKED, SECOND IS WHO I COULD HAVE PICKED OR WHO GOT PICKED RIGHT BEFORE ME IN A COUPLE OF CASES

CORREA          -           ALBIES
                                      NOOOO
PHAM              -         MELTDOWN
DOOLITTLE   -          JANSEN
KIMBREL       -            GUHH
SEVERINO      -          FUCK IT
HENDRICKS  -     UGGGH MORTON
MUNCY          -         NEWCOMB
KIKUCHI        -           MARKars
                                    GAVE UP

AT THIS POINT I DID IN FACT GIVE UP AND STARTED TAKING BRAVES ALL OVER THE PLACE INCLUDING THE AFOREMENTIONED SEAN NEWCOMB (yikes) NICK MARKAKIS (eh, okay) AND AJ MINTER (default closer now? i guess)

DESPITE MY INCOMPETENCE AND TERRIBLE LUCK I AM STILL SOMEHOW IN 5TH PLACE AND I AM PROUD OF MYSELF FOR ONE REASON:

I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO DRAFT JASON HEYWARD.

MY FAVORITE FUCKIN' PLAYER AND I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT HIM EVEN THOUGH I WAS PANICKING AND JUST PICKING BRAVES OUT OF DESPERATION

I EVEN FORGOT TO PICK HIM UP OFF THE WAIVER WIRE AFTER THE DRAFT

AND NOW HE'S HITTING OUT OF HIS MIND AND HAVING A MASSIVE COMEBACK FOR THE CUBS

THAT'S ALL ME, BABY! I'VE SINGLEHANDEDLY RESURRECTED JAY-HEY'S CAREER! IT'S ALL ME! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


Wednesday, April 24, 2019

KELLOGG'S!!!

I HAVEN'T POSTED IN A WHILE AND IT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE I TRIED TO EAT ALL THE DEVILED EGGS AT EASTER AND THEN PROCEEDED TO EAT ENTIRELY TOO MUCH HAM. THE HAM AND EGGS HAVE CLOUDED MY MIND AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS VEG AND WATCH BAD MOVIES AND PLAY BINDING OF ISSAC

SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!

1982 KELLOGG'S GOOSE GOSSAGE


A GROWN-ASS MAN NAMED GOOSE!

NO CRACKS IN THE PLASTIC SO EITHER IT'S A FAKE OR I SHOPLIFTED IT IN A HAM FIT

BIO PARAGRAPH EXPOUNDING ON HIS GREAT FEATS OF STRENGTH WHILE HIS BODY WAS A BROKEN WRECK

LOOKIT THAT WISPY MUSTACHE. IT LOOKS LIKE A LENTICULAR ARTIFACT BUT IT'S THERE

NO SOCIAL MEDIA IN 1982 SO GOOSE'S GROUCHY OLD MAN TAKES COULDN'T RUIN YOUR DELICIOUS KELLOGG'S BREAKFAST!


THE DRAFT FOLDER IS PRETTY FULL SO ONCE I UN-HAM MY BRAIN YOU'LL START TO GET THE GOOD STUFF ON A MORE FREQUENT BASIS

AS LONG AS I DON'T LEARN HOW TO COOK HAMS LIKE MY MOM DOES, THEN IT'S HAM CITY, USA FOR ME. WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! HAM!

Friday, April 19, 2019

Cool Stuff #2 - Vinsanity

A SHORT ONE TODAY BECAUSE I HAVE NO TIME BUT WANTED TO SHARE COME COOL STUFF

2018-19 PANINI CONTENDERS VINCE CARTER


MY FIRST VINCE CARTER CARD IN A HAWKS UNI AND I LOVE IT. GAZE UPON THAT GIMUNGOUS PAC-MAN LOGO EATING UP VINCE'S RIGHT LEG. IT'S REALLY REAL NOW. VINCE CARTER IS AN OFFICIAL HAWKS LEGEND JUST LIKE HALL OF FAMER SIDNEY MONCRIEF. NORMALLY WHEN HAWKS GET AGING STARS THEY ARE OLD AND BUSTED LIKE ELTON BRAND AND DWIGHT HOWARD BUT THIS TIME WE GOT VINCE FFREAKINN CARTER. IT WAS SUPER FUN WATCHING HIM THROWING UP THREES WITH MORE RECKLESS ABANDON THAN EVEN TRAE YOUNG AND DUNKING AND JUST BEING VINCE. I HOPE HE COMES BACK FOR ONE MORE YEAR

AH - THERE'S VINCE'S LEG. I'M PRETTY CLUELESS ABOUT PANINI PRODUCTS OTHER THAN MOST OF THEM ARE RIPOFFS OF OLD DONRUSS, PACIFIC OR IN THIS CASE PLAYOFF BRANDS. CONTENDERS ALWAYS HAS THAT TICKET STUB MOTIF THAT MORE OFTEN THAN NOT EATS UP TOO MUCH OF THE CARD REAL ESTATE BUT IN THIS CASE I KINDA DIG IT? PROBABLY HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH MY HOPELESS LOGO FETISH. NO STATS BUT WHO NEEDS STATS WHEN THERE IS BASKETBALL-REFERENCE DOT COM. I WOULDN'T MIND BUILDING A SET OF THIS STUFF. WELL, MAYBE OPENING SOME PACKS. DOLLAR STORE PACKS.

I WON'T MIND WHEN ALL THE DIME BOX CARDS FROM THIS SET END UP IN A FIVE DOLLAR JUNK BOX AT MY LOCAL SHOP IS ALLS I'M SAYING

IT'S NICE TO BE HAVING FUN WITH THIS AGAIN, MORE POSTS IMMINENT!