I have no idea how to create pages but I'll figure it out eventually godammit

Saturday, December 31, 2016

The Perfect Card to Close Out 2016

2016 sucked. Terrible things happened to everyone but you gotta just roll with the punches and move on. I've never really posted a 'most wanted' or 'white whale' list but if I had this card would have been on it. 2016 in all it's badness threw an opportunity to pick this card up at me recently so I took it.

Goddamn funkin' sunuvabitch Pete Rose. This man's cards are the bane of my existence. It's bad enough that one of the last cards I need for just about every set is a Pete Rose card, but dealers always seem to pull out the Beckett from 1988 when pricing the damn things. But the floaty head Rookie card? Hell, that's another thing entirely.

The first year I really went batshit over baseball cards was 1983. This was good because every set that year looked great and was stuffed with future Hall of Famers. It was also bad because the Rookie card craze was really starting to take over the hobby. The crazy good rookie class of Gwynn, Boggs and Sandberg helped with that. Then Mattingly showed up in '84 and things got worse. Then Doc showed up in '85 and it was all over but the crying. But in 1983, the two rookie cards that impressed on me the most were the '69 Reggie and the '63 Rose.

One of my first sports memories is of Reggie Jackson hitting three home runs in a World Series game. Three home runs. In one game! A WORLD SERIES GAME. A game for the whole World!!! Another one was listening to my family crow because Gene Garber screwed up Pete Rose's chance at a Very Good Record. I was impressed that one of "our team's" players defeated someone who was obviously a Great Player and I had an early lesson in the joys of Schadenfreude. So when the Rookie Card Hype hit, these were not the only cards being pushed by the dealers, but they were the ones that really stuck out with me. And, being a kid with enough pocket money to buy a few packs of new cards here and there, I had absolutely no chance of ever getting these two glorious cards at the new and improved rookie pricing.

I finally got my Reggie last year. It is still one of the crown jewels in my collection even though it looks like the stage at the end of a G.G. Allin concert. Hell, it's one of my favorites because it looks so shitty. My futile little rebellion against the PSA Tenners of the world. But like I said earlier, a Rose rookie is something else entirely.

I've said it before, I'll say it again, The concept of a Rookie Card is a marketing scam that went completely out of control. There is some actual method to the madness though. Every Topps set from 1952-1973 were released in different series. Just like today, except there were up to 7 series (I think, if anyone knows of a set with 8 or more series, please let me know in the comments) instead of 2 and an Update. And like today, the last series was printed in WAY less quantities than the first and tended to be chock full o' rookie cards of players who made their debut earlier in the year. Less supply + overhyped demand = BOOMSHANKA, the dealers make $$$$$.

Pete Rose's rookie card is in the fairly scarce 1963 high numbers series. And the rookie card hype hit right when he was chasing down Ty Cobb. And even though I as a wee lad became smitten with the colorful and circley '63 Topps set there was no way I'd ever complete it because of the hype. That little smiley floatey Rose head (which can also be found on his far superior 1964 Rookie Cup card) would forever elude my grasp. And then, 33 years later, it somehow fell right into my lap. You may ask "How?" Here's where the 2016 bit fits in:


Just like a lot of the bullshit we had to endure in 2016!

Another reason why the Pete Rose rookie always stuck with me is because in the '80s, some chucklehead decided to print up a bunch of fakes and then proceeded to try to sell a whole stack of 'em at a card show. I remember hearing the news reports about it back in the day and am pretty sure I read an article about it with pictures of the fakes in one of the hobby magazines at the time. I couldn't find any original articles, but this Washington Post report from 1988 references the incident. I wasn't so much amazed by the fact someone would have the nerve to try to pass off a bunch of Rose Rookie fakes at a card show full of eagle eyed cardboard nerds, but that the judge ordered they all be stamped as counterfeit instead of destroyed! I could never have a real Rose rookie, but how fuckin' cool would it be to get an Official Fake!

And now I got one. Even though 2016 beat me down hard, I'm still fightin' and looking out for thirteen year old me.  Ya got yer Rose, kid.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

The Twelve Days of Setsmas: Day 6 - Coolness

Ten years ago yesterday I was happy and carefree and content with my life and then the next day I started a blog about baseball cards and everything's been all downhill since

In honor of this auspicious date where I not only ruined my life but inspired many others to engage in self-destructive behavior as well (remember kids, do drugs, not cards*) here's an achievement I don't think I thought I would ever do 10 years ago when I was squandering my short-lived riches on new product.

1959 Topps Braves Team Set

Now I'm miserable and broke and old and sick and let a once-mildly-successful-in-a-tiny-niche-market blog go to shit without ever really monetizing it but dammit, I finally tracked down one of the three versions of that Warren Spahn card and finished a team set from the 50s. Four Hall of Famers. Four different cards of Hank Aaron. Five high-numbered All-Star cards. AND most of the set is yellow, which is not my preferred border color to say the least. But I strived and endured and now it's done and it's beautiful.

Kinda like this shitty blog. Will the blog last ten more years? Absolutely not. I'll probably purge my entire online presence once The Purges begin sometime next year. Flush! Right down the memory hole while I obliviate myself with Victory Gin. Enjoy the set while it lasts.

 Tomorrow: Nothing! I'm working!

*drugs are way cheaper and less addictive

Saturday, December 24, 2016

The Essential 2016 Christmas Music Playlist

Let's face it, i'm not getting any more complete set posts done right now so let's just kick back and enjoy some holiday music. Music fitting of this HORRIBLE SHITTY TERRIBLE AWFUL YEAR.


Fear - Fuck Christmas

This was originally going to be a top ten list. It still kinda is, but is this song #10 or #1? You'll never really know for sure.

Tom Waits - Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis

At least someone had a good 2016.

Eazy-E - Merry Mutafuckin' Xmas

I couldn't decide between Run-DMC's Christmas in Hollis and Wall of Voodoo's Shouldn't Have Given Him a Gun For Christmas, but this is the best of both!

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians - HOORAY FOR SANTY CLAUS

Just like 2016, completely rotten but weirdly fun.

Tiny Tim - Santa Claus Has Got The Aids

Don't lie, if you log on to Twitter on Christmas morning and see #RIPSantaClaus, you will not be the least bit surprised.
At. All.

The Waitresses - Christmas Wrapping

The songs can't ALL be cynical... I mean, what is Christmas without the hope that you'll get laid because you forgot the cranberry sauce and had to run to Publix at the last duckin minute before they closed.

The Damned - There Ain't No Sanity Clause

Ain't no sanity period... 2016 could sure use some Marx Brothers.

Oh, here's some -

Vince Guaraldi - A Charlie Brown Christmas Soundtrack

That's right, the whole goddamned thing. Go listen to it. LISTEN TO IT NOW

if you can't get even a little bit of enjoyment from this even after this fucking year then you might as well be...

Hanoi Rocks - Dead by Xmas

There's still a few hours to go before Xmas for you Western Hemisphere readers. Be careful out there...


Weird Al Yankovic - Christmas at Ground Zero

can't do nuthin' 'bout Donald Trump tho

OK I'm depressed now. time for the best Christmas song of all time


For best results, listen 1000 times
opening it up in a dozen tabs at the same time is acceptable

Have fun and don't be a miserable bastard like me! IT'S CHRISTMAS FOR FUCK SAKE!!!

Monday, December 19, 2016

The Twelve Days of Setsmas - Day 5: Space Punk


there is a movie out now and it is about space and it is about armed political confict
there are spaceships and robots and lazer swords that go voom voom
it is a movie that is set after the prequels and before the actuals so it is a betweequel
there are ninja monks and paranoid droids and unhinged Forest Whitaker which is fun
there is also a lot of drama and grimdark and death death death death death and more death and a big slice o' death with a little bit of murder on the side which is not quite as fun
Peter Cushing is still the best
what the hell does this have to do with Trading Card Sets

2016 Punk Rock Paint Galactic Greats Set

This is a homebrew set created by @PunkRockPaint who is the best* and you should all go sign up for Twitter and follow him right now. It's a mash up of the Space Fights (c) tm patent pending Cinematic Universe Franchise and 1986 Fleer Logo stickers. Cosmic characters are morphed into baseball logos and Laughlin-like cartoons for your enjoyment. People born in a very specific period of time will go insane over these things while everyone else in the world is probably just bewildered. There are at least two jokes per card so make sure to look at the backs too. Mr. Paint was kind enough to include exactly 36 individual items of a papery nature in my Artist's Proof Set so it fits in 4 pages perfectly.

The set is only half the fun, the packaging is even better! I didn't take a picture of it so you'll have to take my word for it. Wait, there might be a picture in his e-shop....
Go take a look and if you like it go buy his stuff!

 Tomorrow: No idea! Maybe nothing!

*not as best as Peter Cushing but who the hell is

Sunday, December 18, 2016

The Twelve Days of Setsmas - Day 4: Bubba Roof

The past two days of Setsmas were postponed on account of work.
This annoyed the frustrated perfectionist in me and I almost cancelled Christmas but I had a day off to myself and thought better of it
now I am just going to post twelve sets vaguely in the vicinity of December and not stress out  about blawg posts about baseball cards.
Here's a set, man, or whatever, I don't even care

2016 Leaf Babe Ruth Collection

If forced at gunpoint to provide a HOTTT TAEK on Nouveau Leaf my general opinion would be that most of their stuff is hot buttered garbage that I don't care about at all. It's all out of my price range anyway so it's not a problem, BUT.... this year they did a Babe Ruth tribute set much like their Pete Rose tribute sets that seem to show up everywhere and their Stan Musial sort-of tribute set/sticker dump that I never see anywhere. A blaster was out of my price range again BUT..... they showed up in the Target discount blaster section so I snagged one because BABE RUTH IS AWESOME. Was not expecting to get a complete set in a blaster! No relics or autos or whatever but a complete set is a glorious thing in itself. The set looks really good too, as long as you're not allergic to sepia. A 100 card set divided into an 80-card base set and two 10-card 'insert' sets pages out like ass though. MY SOLUTION: Surround Card #1 with 8 other Ruth cards, tack on cards #1 from the two insert sets to the end of the base set then have a page each for the inserts. I don't know if it works or not but at least I'm trying!

 See if you can spot the greatest card in the history in the Multiverse!

Tomorrow(?): I have plans!

Thursday, December 15, 2016

The Twelve Days of Setmas - Day Three: Hoopy Froods

I did real life stuff all day instead of writing blog posts!
I don't know what set to upload!
Where are my scans?!?
Everything's ruined!
I'm gonna be late!


1994 Cardz The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

I might have posted this before, but what the hell, here it is again(?). I didn't know this set existed until I saw it paged up and wrapped in plastic hiding in a pile of old Star Wars magazines at a local antique shop. I snagged it and took it home and put the two checklist cards in the same pocket so a 100 card set could fit in 11 nine pocket pages. Have you ever wanted to read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in convenient trading card form illustrated by Steve Leialoha? Well now you can! Grab your towel and click on the images because the text is probably really tiny. Especially if you're reading this on a phone. Did you ever think you could read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in trading card on a phone?


 Tomorrow: Something Topical!