I have no idea how to create pages but I'll figure it out eventually godammit

Sunday, February 10, 2019

FIRST TOPPS CARD OF 2019

AAAAY I'M BACK
SHOULD HAVE BEEN BACK LAST WEEK BUT I'M ALSO LAZY

Y'ALL SEEM TO LIKE WHEN I RANT ABOUT  BASEBALL CARDS AND CRAP SO IT'S TIME TO GET BACK ON THE WAGON AGAIN. YES I'M GOING TO CONTINUE TO SCREAM AT YOU I LIKE SCREAMING AAAAAH IT'S FUN AND KEEPS ME TYPING. I'VE GOT A FOLDER FULL OF SCANS NOT TO MENTION ALL MY OLD ABANDONED DRAFTS SO THERE'S ENOUGH STUFF TO KEEP ME BUSY IF I DON'T LAZY UP AGAIN. HAD ANOTHER THING PLANNED FOR TODAY BUT THE UNITED STATES POSTAL SERVICE THAT YOU ALL COMPLAIN ABOUT DELIVERED A PACKAGE TODAY FOR SOME REASON AND THIS IS EASIER TO WRITE ABOUT SO LLLLLLLAAAAAAAZZZZZYYYYYYY

HERE WE GO, MY FIRST 2019 TOPPS CARD

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE


I NORMALLY HATE ALL THINGS BOSTON WITH A PASSION BUT MOOKIE IS AWESOME. BEFORE YOU BEANEATERS START YELLING AT ME I COUNTER YOUR ARGUMENTS WITH LARRY BIRD HITTING EVERY GODDAMN SHOT AGAINST THE HAWKS IN THE PLAYOFFS, 28-3 JOKES FOR ETERNITY AND BILL BUCKNER BLOWING IT AGAINST THE STUPID METS AND MAKING 14 YEAR OLD ME MAD. METS FANS CAN YELL AT ME ALL YOU WANT, I'M USED TO IT. I HAVE SINCE CHANGED MY OPINIONS ON ALL MOOKIES AND NOW INSIST THAT MOOKIES ARE AWESOME AND BETTS MOOKIE IS ONE OF THE AWESOMER ONES. HE TOOK ANOTHER MVP AWARD AWAY FROM LORD TROUT, DIDN'T HE AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA SUCK IT TROUT FANBOIS

ALL BOSTON, MET AND TROUT FANS CAN LEAVE AN ANGRY COMMENT TO BOOST MY ANALYTICS AND DON'T FORGET TO LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE AND TEACH ME HOW TO SET UP A PATREON SO I CAN START MAKING MONEY OFF THIS SHIT


MOOKIE IS AWESOME BUT WHAT ABOUT TOPPS. GOTTA ADMIT LAST YEAR I RIPPED A RACK PACK OF 2018 SERIES ONE AND FELT... NOTHING. NOT A DAMN THING. THE CARDS LOOKED LIKE OPENING DAY AND THE INSERTS WERE LAME AND I'VE BEEN MORE EXITED READING INSURANCE FORMS AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE. THIS YEAR I'VE BEEN A LITTLE GUN SHY ABOUT TOPPS AND PASSED UP A RELEASE DAY PACK AT TARGET IN FAVOR OF A FAIRFIELD $5 JUNK BOX. OF BASKETBALL CARDS. SO NOW THAT I HAVE A 2019 CARD IN MY GRUBBY LITTLE PAWS WHAT'S MY REACTION



AFTER THREE YEARS OF BORDERLESS GARBAGE WITH NONSENSE CHEWING UP REAL ESTATE ON THE CARD THE SET ACTUALLY LOOKS GOOD. THE 1982 TOPPS VIBE IS REAL BUT DON'T SLEEP ON THAT BUBBLY TEXURE IN THE BORDER. WE GOT A TEAM NAME, LOGO, POSITION, AND A CLEAR PLAYER NAME WITH NO GODDAMNED FOIL. NICE BIG AREA FOR THE PHOTO TO BREATHE WITH NO CREEPY FOG, STEEL BEAMS OR WATERSLIDES TO SQUEEZE IT OUT. LOOKS GOOD! THIS MOOKIE CARD IS A 150 YEARS PARALLEL AND I KNOW, I KNOW, PARALLELS GRAAH, BUT THIS ONE LOOKS FINE. SIMPLE, TASTEFUL GOLD FOIL STAMP THAT DOESN'T SEEM TO INTRUDE ON ANYTHING. I'LL TAKE THIS OVER THE CAMO AND FLAGS AND CRAP SLOPPED ALL OVER THE NUMBERED PARALLELS. QUIT RUINING MY ENJOYMENT OF THIS SET. RUINY RUINERS

THE FRONT LOOKS GOOD, SO THE BACK SUCKS, RIGHT? NO! IT LOOKS FINE. COLORFUL, FULL STATS IN ALMOST-READABLE TEXT, TWITTER HANDLES, A NICE PARAGRAPH ABOUT MUSICAL HABITS. MY ONE COMPLAINT WOULD BE THAT I WISH THE CARD NUMBER WAS AS BIG AS THE PLAYER NAME BUT AT LEAST IT'S READABLE UNLIKE MANY OTHER TOPPS SETS. THIS SET HAS MY APPROVAL. AM I GOING TO RUN OUT AND BUY A BUNCHA LOTTA PACKS?

NAH

SEE, WHEN I WENT OUT PACK HUNTING ON RELEASE DAY WAL-MART HAD PACKS OF SERIES ONE. 2018 SERIES ONE. I'LL BE ABLE TO FIND PACKS OF THIS STUFF ON NEW YEARS EVE. IT'S GOING TO INFEST DIME BOXES FOR YEARS. I'LL PROBABLY ACCUMULATE A THIRD OF THE SET ACCIDENTALLY JUST THROUGH JUNK BOXES I BUY. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO URGENCY TO GO OUT AND GET THIS STUFF IMMEDIATELY ESPECIALLY WHEN I HAVE COMPLETELY PUNTED ON THE PAST THREE YEARS OF FLAGSHIP. YEAH I KNOW IT'S THE BEGINNING OF A NEW YEAR, SPRING IS HERE, TIME FOR BASEBALL, OPEN A PACK, BLAH-DE-BLAH. HARPER STILL AIN'T SIGNED, WE GOT TIME. LOOKS GOOD THOUGH! REALLY FUN SET! NICE JOB TOPPS.

THIS CARD WAS SENT BY @PKSTEINBERG
GO READ HIS BLOG OR SEND HIM SOME JOHN KRUK CARDS OR TELL HIM TO SHUT UP

NEXT TIME ON AS THE JUNK TURNS - OLD STUFF