THIRTEEN YEARS AGO TODAY I DID SOMETHING VERY FOOLISH WHICH HAS HAUNTED ME TO THIS DAY. TO CELEBRATE HERE'S THE BEST CARD I GOT IN 2019. SURE THERE'S STILL 4 MORE DAYS AND A CARD SHOW ON SUNDAY BUT IF I FIND SOMETHING BETTER I'LL JUST DO ANOTHER POST
1964 DONRUSS THE ADDAMS FAMILY #50
MY TWO FAVORITE ADDAMS FAMILY CHARACTERS ON ONE CARD. UNCLE FRSTER IS THE BEST AND EVERYONE LOVES A NICE WITCH. JUST SQUEESE IN LURCH, THING AND COUSIN ITT IN SOMEWHERE AND YOU'VE GOT THE PERFECT CARD. GOT THIS AT ROGER'S VINTAGE CARD SHOW A COUPLE WEEKS AGO. HE HAD A SMALL PILE OF UNPRICED ADDAMS FAMILY CARDS IN A CASE AND I HAD TO TAKE A LOOK. HE SAID SINCE IT WASN'T A FULL SET HE'D SELL SINGLES FOR FIVE BUCKS EACH AND I NOPED OUT. BUT I COULDN'T GET UNCLE FESTER AND GRANDMA OUT OF MY HEAD AND WAS ABLE TO SNAG THIS ONE ULTIMATELY WAY LESS THAN FIVE. I THINK ROGER TOOK PITY ON ME SINCE I FOUND OUT ABOUT THE SHOW LITERALLY THE DAY IT OPENED AND WAS WOEFULLY UNPREPARED AND HAD TO BOTTOM FEED THE BARGAIN BOX. OF COURSE NOW I WANT A CARD OF EVERY CHARACTER. WHY IS THIS HOBBY SO SPENDY
THE BACKS OF THE ENTIRE SET MAKES A GIMONGOUS PUZZLE OF THE ENTIRRE FAMILY. THIS CARD HAS PART OF GOMEZ' PANTS. I HAVE NO IDEA IF IT'S RIGHT SIDE UP OR NOT. THIS IS PROBABLY MY OLDEST DONRUSS CARD NOW. HERE'S A CARD GALLERY OF THE SNTIRE SET AND A GOOD PICTURE OF THE WRAPPER. IF ANY OF YOU THINK YOU GOT A COOLER CARD THAN IN IN 2019 BRAG ABOUT IT IN THE COMMENTS SO WE CAN ALL MOCK YOU FOR HOW WRONG YOU ARE. AIN'T NOTHIN' COOLER THAN THE ADDAMS FAMILY
IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE, I BUSTED MY ASS ON THAT PPOST YESTERDAY AND IT'S TIME FOR ME TO RELAX. HERE'S MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE AD FROM ONE OF MY FAVORITE COMICS
HOWARD THE DUCK #15 AUGUST 1977
THIS SHIT IS POSITIVELY INFAMOUS. THE SIREN SONG OF A VILLAIN NAMED DOCTOR BONG IN A HOWARD THE DUCK COMIC OF ALL THINGS HAS SURELY BEEN ROUNDLY MOCKED ALL OVER THE INTERNET BY NOW. DUCKS AND BONGS, IT'S A PERFECT STORM OF RIDICULOUS. WELL I SAY TO YOU, THE UNWASHED RUBE, THAT YOU KNOW NOTHING OF RIDICULOUS. THIS COMIC ALSO HAS A CONCRETE SWAN, A MAN-DUCK, CASUAL CANNIBALISM AND A SEA SERPENT WEARING A TOP HAT. NOT ONLY THAT BUT THE SEA SERPENT HAS A BUILT IN ORGASM BUTTON. HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS COMIC SO MUCH. DAMN YOU GEORGE LUCAS FOR FUCKING UP HOWARD THE DUCK. DAMN YOU DISNEY FOR VINDICATING GEORGE LUCAS. I TOO FEEL I AM TRAPPED IN A STUPID WORLD I NEVER MADE
HERE IT IS. THE BEST COMIC ADVERTISEMENT EVER MADE. DR. J DUNKING THE FUCK OUT OF A SPALDING RUBBER BASKETBALL TO SHUT UP THAT SMARTASS KID WHO PROBABLY USES SHITASS SLIPPERY VINYL BALLS. ALL DRAWN BY JACK FREAKING DAVIS. JUST LOOK AT THAT SLAM DUNK PANEL. LEONARDO. REMBRANDT. VERMEER. RUEBENS, VELAZQUEZ, MANET, GOYA, VAN GOGH. MONET, DEGAS, MATISSE, MODIGLIANI, PICASSO, DALI, BOB ROSS. AIN'T NONE OF 'EM GOT SHIT ON JACK DAVIS. ALSO RICK BARRY IS THERE TOO I GUESS. AND IF YOU ALREADY HAVE THE DR. J BALL (AND WHY WOULDN'T YOU), YOU ALSO HAVE THE CHOICE OF WILT CHAMBERLAIN, PISTOL PETE AND ERNIE DIGREGORIO. OR THAT RICK GUY I GUESS. JUST BUY MORE DR. J RUBBER BASKETBALLS. THAT'S ALL YOU NEED IN LIFE REALLY
A JOYOUS FESTIVUS TO ALL. CELEBRATING WITH A WHOLE-ASS COMIC'S WORTH OF ADS. BUCKLE UP, THIS ONE'S A WILD RIDE
REN & STIMPY #22 SEPTEMBER 1994
REN AND STIMPY IS ONE OF THE MANY THINGS I LOVED IN MY YOUTH THAT HAS BEEN PERMANENTLY STAINED BY THE PASSAGE OF TIME. JOHN K. IS JUST KIND OF A BASTARD YA KNOW? AND THE SHOW HASN'T AGED TERRIBLY WELL EITHER, ESPECIALLY SINCE SUBSEQUENT CARTOONS TOOK ALMOST ALL THE WRONG LESSONS FROM R&S'S SUCCESS. BUT THOSE FIRST COUPLE OF SEASONS THAT PLAYED ON A LOOP FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS ON NICKELODEON ARE PERMANENTLY BURNED INTO MY BRAIN AND I STILL LOVE 'EM. I'LL PUT UP STIMPY'S CARTOON UP AGAINST ANY OTHER CARTOON SHORT EVER. EVER
THE COMIC BOOK WAS... OKAY. IT GOT THE FEEL OF THE SHOW WELL ENOUGH BUT ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT HAVE THE COMIC TIMING DOWN AT ALL. IT ALSO DOESN'T QUITE GET THE WEIRDNESS OF THE SHOW, SOMETHING THE SHOW SOMETIMES HAD PROBLEMS WITH AS WELL IF WE'RE BEING HONEST. THE COVER SURPRISINGLY DESCRIBES THE CONTENTS WELL. REN GETS SICK AND STIMPY NURSES HIM BACK TO HEALTH BY READING HIM STORIES. WE SEE THE CHARACTERS RIGHT THERE ON THE COVER: LITTLE RED RIDING REN AND THE WOLF WHO MENACES HIM, GINGERBREAD SVEN, THE LOGS FROM GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE LOGS AND THE YAK WHO IS SOLD FOR MAGIC NOSEHAIRS AND DOESN'T APPRECIATE IT AT ALL. MISSING IS HUMPTY STIMPY BUT TO BE FAIR HE'S BUSY READING THE BOOK. THE B-STORY FEATURES MAGICIAN STIMPY AND HIS HAPLESS ASSISTANT REN, WHICH TURNS OUT ABOUT HOW YOU'D EXPECT IT. NOT GREAT, BUT DEFINITELY FUN
THIS NIGHTMARE IS WHAT YOU SEE FIRST THING WHEN YOU OPEN THE COVER. ALMOST-BUT-NOT-QUITE REALISTIC UNCANNY VALLEY ADVERTISEMENT ILLUSTRATIONS WAS QUITE A NINETIES VIBE. IT WAS PROBABLY VERY EFFECTIVE AS PEOPLE WERE COMPELLED TO STARE AT THE AD FOR ENTIRELY TOO LONG TO TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THAT KID'S FACE. WHY IS THE PERSPECTIVE SO WARPED? OK, SO YOU MAKE A TREEHOUSE IN THE SHAPE OF CAP'N CRUNCH, BUT HUBCAPS FOR THE EYES? YOU REALLY MADE THE ENTRANCE HIS MOUTH IN SOME SORT OF WEIRD ROLE REVERSAL? TWO MAILBOXES? WHY TWO MAILBOXES?? DID YOU STEAL ONE OF THOSE FROM A NEIGHBOR? BOTH OF THEM?? EXAMINING THE THOUGHT PROCESS BEHIND THE OVERLY-CRUNCHY CEREAL INFLUENCED ARCHITECTURAL CHOICES IS NOT THE MINDFUCK I WANTED RIGHT BEFORE READING A SILLY COMIC BASED ON A CARTOON. I'VE BEEN LESS UNSETTLED BY DAVID LYNCH MOVIES. NICE IDEA USING A HORSESHOE FOR THE C ON THE HAT, CLEVER CHOICE
ANOTHER 90S TREND: MARKETERS DESPERATELY TRYING TO REBRAND SIGHTLY BORING PRODUCTS AS HIP AND EDGY. BARQ'S TRIED MAKING ROOT BEER EXTREEEEME BY INCLUDING TEMPORARY TATTOOS INSIDE 12 PACKS AND CHANGING THEIR SLOGAN TO BARQ'S HAS BITE! I DON'T THINK IT WORKED - IT'S HARD TO MAKE A PRODUCT EDGY WHEN IT'S REGULARLY QUAFFED BY SNOOPY - BUT WE GOT A HELLUVA LOT OF FUN ADVERTISEMENTS OUT OF THE ATTEMPT. ORIGINAL BARQTOOS ADS WERE IN A 50S MONSTER MOVIE POSTER MOTIF AND THE SEQUEL SWIPED THE MAD FOLD-IN GIMMICK. ALSO THESE ADS LOOK A LOT LIKE DREW FRIEDMAN'S SIGNATURE STIPPLING STYLE BUT I CAN'T FIND ANY CONFIRMATION ON WHO DREW THESE ANYWHERE. WE ALL MISSED OUT ON THE BARQTOOS BUT THROUGH THE MAGIC OF MSPAINT WE CAN AT LEAST ENJOY THE FOLD-IN
BUTTHEADS! WE'RE ALL BUTTHEADS NOW
I'LL TAKE THE TEN GRAND AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO ASK ME TWICE. WHAT THE HELL WOULD I HAVE TO SAY TO JOE MONTANA ANYWAY? HEY JOE, REMEMBER ALL THE TIMES YOU RIPPED MY FALCONS' GUTS OUT WITH A RUSTY FORK. YOU DON'T REALLY GET TEN GRAND ANYWAY, YOU GET TEN GRAND WORTH OF AUTHENTICATED UPPER DECK MERCH. WHICH, CONSIDERING THEIR LINEUP OF EXCLUSIVE STARSAT THE TIME PROBABLY ENDED UP HOLDING A DECENT AMOUNT OF VALUE. SECOND PLACE IS A COMPLETE SET OF PARALLELS OH JOY. THIRD PLACE IS A SEGA GENESIS FOR SOME REASON AND IT ALL GOES DOWNHILL FROM THERE. I ABSOLUTELY WANT THAT 9TH PLACE THEN AND NOW HOLOGRAM SET. I MEAN, I MIGHT ALREADY HAVE IT BUT I WANT IT NOW, RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. THERE'S 300 THOUSAND OF THEM OUT THERE ONE'S GOTTA BE HIDING IN SOME DIME BOX SOMEWHERE
WHAT THE HELL, IT'S FESTIVUS! LET'S SHOW OFF AN ACTUAL CARD AS WELL.IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO FIND A 1994 COLLECTOR'S CHOICE CARD FOR SOME REASON BUT I FOUND A GREAT ONE. ENJOY IRONHEAD HEYWARD PEERING OVER BUTTS. GOTTA LOVE THAT UPPER DECK PHOTOGRAPHY
COOKIES FOR FUCKING BREAKFAST HOLY SHIT. IF ANYONE BORN THIS CENTURY ACCIDENTALLY STUMBLES ON THIS BLOG THROUGH SOME RIDICULOUS MISFORTUNE I WANT TO ASSURE YOU THIS WAS A SUPER BIG DEAL BACK IN THE 80S. I MEAN, MOST BREAKFAST CEREAL WAS UNHEALTHY SUGARY CRAP ALREADY BUT THEY WEREN'T GODDAMN COOKIES. THE ALLURE OF TINY STALE COOKIES FOR BREAKFAST WAS IRRESISTIBLE. THIS AD KNOWS IT AND JUST SHOWS HAPPY CHILDREN EATING BREAKFAST COOKIES IN FASHIONABLE OUTFIT- OH MY GOD LOOK AT THOSE PANTS
I DON'T HAVE ANY 1994 ULTRA X-MEN CARDS BUT I WANTED TO SHOW OFF SOMETHING AND BOY IS THIS CARD SOMETHING. I'VE NEVER HEARD OF THIS CHARACTER BUT HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE A VAMPIRE. JUST LOOK AT THIS REJECTED SPAWN VILLAIN-ASS MOTHERFUCKER WITH THE CRAZY JAW AND COOL AS HELL SHADES. I DEMAND A REBOOT OF TWILIGHT WITH THIS DESIGN. I SURE HOPE THAT THING DOWN THERE IS A TAIL BUT I'M TOO AFRAID TO GOOGLE IT
MORE FLEER CONTENT IN A MARVEL COMIC. OF COURSE MARVEL OWNED FLEER BY THIS POINT SO IT MAKES SENSE. RAZZLES WERE BOTH CANDY AND A GUM AND DIDN'T DO EITHER PARTICULARLY WELL BUT HEY, THEY HAD THEIR GIMMICK. EVEN THE GIVEAWAY IS AMBIGUOUS. ARE THEY SUPPORTING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE AND GIVING AWAY A MOUNTAIN BIKE? ARE THEY ENCOURAGING PEOPLE TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES AND EAT CANDY ALL DAY? THEY'RE DOING BOTH!
THIS AD IMMEDIATELY REMINDED ME OF THE FLEER ADRENALINE SET FOR SOME REASON EVEN THOUGH THAT CAME OUT IN 2000. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE 'LOOK MA, NO BRAINS' POSE ON THIS CARD
HERE'S A WIZARD-ERA COMIC SELLER AD TO COMPARE AND CONTRAST WITH THE ONES IN THE OLDY MOLDY COMICS. BEYOND THE HORRIFICALLY DISTRACTING BACKGROUND,SOME OF THESE SUCKERS ARE PRICEY. THIRTY BUCKS FOR A MANTRA #1 HOLOGRAM COVER?? WHAT THE FUCK IS A MANTRA. (editor's note - I googled this issue to see if any were on sale and its price is all over the map from 10 bucks to 150. apparently the nineties comic book market is just as bizarre as the nineties baseball card market) I TRIED TO PLAY THE GAME AGAIN WHERE I TRY TO PICK 10 COMICS FOR $7.50 AND I JUST WASN'T FEELING ANY OF IT. I MEAN, 1963 IS FUN BUT I GOT ALL OF THEM. UNLIKE THE OLD TIMEY COMIC SELLER ADS, THIS ONE IS SELLING TRADING CARD PACKS AS WELL. $1.50 - $4.00 PER PACK OR $40-$50 FOR A BOX. REMEMBER, THIS IS PRE-BIG MOJO HIT ERA PACKS, YOU'RE JUST GETTING MOSTLY BASE CARDS HERE. A HOLOGRAM IF YOU'RE LUCKY
HERE'S SOMETHING YOU CAN GET OUT OF THAT $1.50 SPIDER-MAN PACK. DOCTOR DOOM ABOUT TO COMET PUNCH SPIDER-MAN IN THE FACE. IS IT BAD I LIKE VILLAINS MORE THAN SUPERHEROES MOST TIMES
HAD TO SHOW OFF THIS ONE AS WELL. CHECK OUT THAT AUNT MAY GRAFFITI. GOD BLESS FLEER, THEY TRIED SO DAMN HARD IN THE 90S
MOAR TRADING CARD ADS. YOU FIGURING OUT WHY I CHOSE THIS ISSUE TO SHOW OFF NOW? KINDA WISH I HAD THE APRIL ISSUE OF REN & STIMPY TO SEE THE BASEBALL CARD ADS, BUT HERE'S MORE FOOTBALL FOR YA. I LIKE HOW THIS AD IS BOTH CLEVER AND DEEPLY WEIRD. WRITING A DIAGRAM OF A 'KILL THE MAN WITH THE BALL' PLAY IN SHARPIE ON A PALM LIKE A CHEAT SHEET IS CERTAINLY A WAY TO SELL FOOTBALL CARDS. AT LEAST I HOPE IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE SHARPIE. NO PICTURE OF THE PRODUCT THOUGH, WANNA KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE?
AWWW YEAH PURPLE AND TEAL FOOTBALL CARDS. THE MOST VAPORWAVEY OF SETS. TOOK ME FOREVER TO FIND THIS ONE TOO. ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, I PULLED OUT ALL MY JESSE TUGGLE CARDS SO I CAN ORGANIZE THEM AND GET THEM BINDERED AND I LEARNED THAT MY 90S FOOTBALL CARDS ARE STARTING TO FUSE TOGETHER INTO ONE SOLID MASS THANKS TO ROTTEN UV COATING SO I BETTER MAKE GETTING THEM ALL SORTED A PRIORITY IN 2020
HEY, YOU'VE SEEN THIS ONE BEFORE. IN LIEU OF ME BLITHERING ON ABOUT IT ANY MORE HERE'S RAUL JULIA BEING A BAD ASS
YEAAH CRUNCH AND MUNCH. FANCY-ASS CRACKER JACK. THIS BOX HAS A PRIZE TOO! YET ANOTHER MARVEL PROPERTY TRADING CARD. THAT MAKES FIVE ADS IN THIS BOOK ADVERTISING CARDS, USING CARDS AS A PROMO OR JUST FLAT OUT SELLING CARDS. MAN, THOSE DAYS ARE SOOO OVER
I DON'T HAVE ONE OF THESE PROMO CARDS SO HERE'S A TRADING CARD OF A BOOK I ACTUALLY LIKE. THAT'S RIGHT, A SANDMAN ROOKIE CARD. YOU'LL WISH YOU HAD ONE OF THESE WHEN HBO OR AMAZON OR WHOEVER FINALLY ADAPTS SANDMAN INTO A TV SHOW AND EVERYONE GOES CRAZY ABOUT IT FOR A COUPLE MONTHS
OH MY GOD I MIGHT ACTUALLY COMPLETE A SERIES OF POSTS ON THIS SILLY BLOG FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. REMEMBER WHEN I SPENT LIKE A MONTH PUTTING TOGETHER A FRANKENSET OF TOPPS HERITAGE CARDS USING A CARD FROM ALL NINE YEARS ON EACH PAGE AND I SPENT HOURS SCANNING EVERY PAGE AND UPLOADING THEM AND GOT ABOUT TEN PAGES IN AND JUST.... STOPPED? AND NOW I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THE SCANS WENT TO AND THE ACTUAL BINDER OF CARDS IS MISSING A PAGE SOMEHOW AND ALL THAT EFFORT IS JUST ALL GONE WITH NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT? ANYWAY, FUCK THE PAST, HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND HERE'S A COMIC
VAULT OF EVIL #13 SEPTEMBER 1974
MORE MARVEL REHASHED HORROR COMICS. THESE STORIES ARE ALL TAKEN FROM OLD ATLAS HORROR TITLES FROM THE 50'S. AND YOU SHOULD REALLY CLICK ON THAT LINK AND TAKE A LOOK AT ALL THE COOL COVERS FROM THOSE COMICS. THEY ARE ALL SUPERIOR TO THIS ONE WHICH LOOKS LIKE IT COULD TURN INTO A TOM OF FINLAND DRAWING AT ANY MOMENT. ACTUALLY THAT SOUNDS PRETTY AWESOME, IMAGINE TOM PENCILING A RUN OF THE AVENGERS HOLY SHIT.
THERE ARE 4 STORIES IN THE COMIC AND SOME OF THEM MUST HAVE BEEN WRITTEN BEFORE THE COMIC CODE KICKED IN BECAUSE THEY HAVE THAT LURID SLEAZY FEEL THAT THE GOOD HORROR COMICS FROM THAT ERA HAVE. FIRST STORY IS THE HEAT'S ON AND IT'S NOTHING LIKE THE COVER. AN ASSHOLE SAILOR GETS WHAT HE DESERVES. THE DEVIL DOESN'T HAVE A MUSTACHE EITHER. THE SECOND ONE, THE TELEPATHIC TYPEWRITER, ISN'T THAT GREAT - IT'S BASICALLY MICHIGAN J FROG EXCEPT A TYPEWRITER - BUT IT'S DRAWN BY MORT DRUCKER OF MAD MAGAZINE FAME SO IT'S AT LEAST GOT HISTORICAL SIGNIFICANCE. THE MADMAN IS BY FAR THE BEST STORY OF THE BUNCH AND ONE OF THE BEST I'VE READ PERIOD. A NURSE IS HIRED TO WORK AT A SPOOKY OLD ASYLUM BY A CREEPY DOCTOR WHO IS TREATING THE INSANE. ONE PATIENT CLAIMS HE'S SEEN PROOF OF A PENDING INVASION OF FOUR ARMED MONSTERS WHO WANT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD. THE TWIST AT THE END IS UTTERLY GLORIOUS. IF I EVER GET BRAVE ENOUGH TO SCAN ENTIRE STORIES THIS WILL BE ONE OF THE FIRST. THE FINAL STORY IS CONTENTS: ONE HUMAN WHICH WOULD WORK AS A TWILIGHT ZONE EPISODE IF IT WASN'T SO SILLY.
THE ISSUE IS ABSOLUTELY STUFFED WITH ADS, FROM COOL STUFF TO ODD STUFF TO BORING STUFF TO HORRIBLE STUFF. IT WAS HARD TO PICK ONE BUT I HAD TO GO WITH THIS:
THIS IS ONE OF THOSE TOYS I WOULD HAVE NEVER REMEMBERED AT ALL IF IT WERE NOT FOR MOLDY-ASS COMIC BOOK ADS. GUESSING WE'RE NOT GONNA GET A BIG JIM EPISODE OF THE TOYS THAT MADE US ANYTIME SOON. FOR A BRIEF PERIOD IN THE 70S THOUGH THESE THINGS WERE EVERYWHERE BEFORE THE STAR WARS ACTION FIGURES CRAZE KILLED OFF GIGANTIC BOY DOLLS FOREVER. DUDE BEING A BLACK BELT AS WELL AS A THREE SPORT STAR IS PRETTY DOPE. OK SO HE'S A KICKER, YOU TRY WINNING A CHAMPIONSHIP IN THREE SPORTS ALL AT THE SAME TIME. APPARENTLY BIG JIM WAS ALSO A SPY AND A BIG GAME HUNTER AND PART OF A GANG AS WELL? I LOOKED UP THAT COOL KARATE PLAYSET AND ACCIDENTALLY DISCOVERED THE JUNGLE ADVENTURE SET WITH REAL ACTION GORILLA. FOLY SHUCKING HIT FORGET BIG JIM I NEED AN ACTION GORILLA IN MY LIFE
AW HECK, IT'S CHRISTMAS. HERE'S A BONUS AD I COULDN'T PASS UP. ANYONE EVER PLAYED FLIP-O-BASEBALL? I'VE NEVER HEARD OF IT, AND I'M WONDERING IF THERE'S A LOST SET OF BASEBALL GAME CARDS OUT THERE NOW. IT'S NOT IN MY STANDARD CATALOG AND TRYING TO GOOGLE IT GETS A BILLION HITS OF OLD WHITE MEN GRUMBLING ABOUT UNWRITTEN RULES AND LAMENTING HOW JOSE BAUTISTA HAS CAUSED AMERICA TO NOT BE GREAT AGAIN. I'M ASSUMING IT'S NOT JUST FLIPPING BASEBALL CARDS UP AGAINST THE WALL SINCE THE AD COPY MENTIONS STRATEGY AND RULES. IT WOULD BE PRETTY COOL IF THERE WERE SOME CUSTOM BASEBALL CARDS MADE FOR THE GAME BUT WHO KNOWS. THE ONLY MENTION I CAN FIND ONLINE AT ALL IS THIS COMICS FORUM POST STATING THAT THE AD IS ALSO IN DOCTOR STRANGE. TEMPTED TO SEND TWO BUCKS TO POSNER DISTRIBUTORS TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS
UPDATE: HOLY SHIT THERE'S ACTUALLY A POSNER BATTERY DISTRIBUTORS LISTING IN THIS DIRECTORY OF NEW JERSEY JUNKYARDS WITH THE SAME ADDRESS AS THIS AD. WHAT UNHOLY MYSTERY HAVE I FALLEN INTO HERE
I STUPIDLY PLANNED A GIGANTIC POST FOR A DAY I'M WORKING. HOO BOY I'M SCREWED. ALSO THOSE STEAM GAMES AREN'T GOING TO BUY THEMSELVES. HEY, AS LONG AS WE'RE TALKING ABOUT VIDEO GAMES HOW ABOUT I SHOW YOU A WHOLE BUNCH OF VINTAGE VIDEO GAME ADS FROM COMIC BOOKS? DAMN, LOOK AT THAT MASTERFUL SEGUE. I'M A DUMBASS BUT I STILL GOT THAT BLOGGERY TOUCH
CAMELOT 3000 #5 APRIL 1983
GOT-DAMN I LOVE THIS COVER. NO I HAVEN'T READ THE COMIC YET SO I HAVE NOTHING MORE TO SAY ABOUT IT
HELL YEAH ATARI 2600 GAMES. M NETWORK HAD PERFECT TIMING ADVERTISING THEIR GENERIC SPORTS AND SPACE GAMES RIGHT WHEN THE VIDEO GAME INDUSTRY WAS IN FULL COLLAPSE. THE M IN M NETWORK STANDS FOR MATTEL AND THESE GAMES WERE MOSTLY PORTS OF INTELLIVISION GAMES AND THEY WERE ALL PRETTY GOOD. ASTROBLAST IS ALMOST A TRANCE GAME, IT'S NOT TOO TERRIBLY DIFFICULT AND ONCE YOU GET IN A GROOVE YOU CAN PLAY FOR A COUPLE HOURS WITHOUT NOTICING. THE SPORTS TITLES WERE WAY SUPERIOR TO ATARI'S SPORTS AT LEAST UNTIL THE REAL SPORTS SERIES CAME AROUND. THE M NETWORK GAMES ARE EASILY SPOTTED IN USED GAME STORES AS THEY ARE INEXPLICABLY SKINNY WITH A SLIGHTLY WIDER BASE SO IT WOULD FIT INTO THE 2600. I NEED TO STOP TALKING ABOUT 2600 GAMES OR ELSE I'LL END UP AT 2ND AND CHARLES BUYING UP ALL THEIR ATARI CARTRIDGES AND START UP ANOTHER HOBBY I CAN'T AFFORD
GROO THE WANDERER #53 JULY 1989
GROOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I LOVE GROO. SERGIO ARAGONES IS THE BEST. THIS COVER IS PRETTY BAD ASS AS WELL. GROO GETTING CHOMPED BY A DRAGON THAT IS ABOUT TO GET SLICED BY CHAKAAL. THERE IS SOME SENSELESS DRAGON ABUSE IN THE ACTUAL COMIC BUT IT'S GROO, NEEDLESS VIOLENCE AND MAYHEM JUST KINDA HAPPENS
COMIC BOOKS PANDERING TO GAMERS WAY BACK IN 1989. GAMERS VERY UNHEATHLY BACK THEN AS WELL, GET THAT SHORTNESS OF BREATH LOOKED AT BY A DOCTOR OR YOU'LL NEVER LAST TO SEE THE GAMECUBE. TENGEN'S GOT A SOLID LINEUP OF GAMES HERE INCLUDING THE ONLY THREE LICENSED GAMES THEY EVER RELEASED FOR NINTENDO. GAUNTLET IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE GAMES AND GAUNTLET II WAS THE FIRST GAME I BOUGHT FOR THE NINTENDO I GOT IN COLLEGE. PAC-MAN I HOPE YOU KNOW. GONNA JUST ASSUME YOU KNOW ABOUT RBI BASEBALL WHAT WITH THIS OSTENSIBLY BEING A BASEBALL CARD BLOG. THE INTERESTING THING ABOUT THIS AD IS THAT TETRIS CARTRIDGE. DUE TO SHENANIGANS AND CHICANERY REGARDING THE TETRIS LICENSE BOTH TENGEN AND NINTENDO CREATED A PORT OF THE GAME FOR NES. TURNS OUT TENGEN ONLY HAD THE ARCADE LICENSE AND HAD TO RECALL AND DESTROY THEIR VERSION OF THE GAME. SO NOW THE GAME, WHICH IS CONSIDERED SUPERIOR COMPARED TO NINTENDO'S VERSION CAN GET A LITTLE PRICEY ON EBAY. THANK GOODNESS FOR ROMZ
NICK FURY AGENT OF SHIELD #5 DECEMBER 1989
HAVEN'T READ THIS ONE EITHER, TOO BUSY WRITING THESE THINGS
I ONLY PLANNED TO POST ONE AD PER BUT CONSOLE AT MOST BUT THIS ISN'T FOR AN ENTERTAINMENT SYSTEM, THIS IS FOR A CEREAL SYSTEM. NINTENDO BREAKFAST CEREAL IS ABOUT AS 1989 AS YOU CAN GET. I CAN CONFIRM I PESTERED MY GRANDMOTHER FOR THIS CEREAL BACK IN THE DAY AND IT... WASN'T GREAT. THE CEREAL WAS VERY BLAND AND SINCE THERE WERE TWO BAGS IN THE BOX IT WAS A LITTLE CONFUSING AND MADE IT FEEL LIKE YOU GOT RIPPED OFF ON THE AMOUNT OD CEREAL YOU GOT. DAT BOX THO. AM KICKING MY TEENAGED HOARDER ASS WHO KEPT EVERY BASEBALL CARD BOX, RIPPED USED STAMPS OFF EVERY ENVELOPE AND KEPT ANY SUNDAY COMIC SECTION THAT HAD A SINGLE FUNNY COMIC FOR THROWING OUT THAT CEREAL BOX
THIS AD IS FROM A SPECIAL SEECRIT COMIC THAT YOU'LL GET TO SEE LATER
STREET FIGHTER II BLACK LEATHER JACKET IS A HELLUVA FASHION STATEMENT. I'M NOT CRAZY ABOUT FIGHTING GAMES BECAUSE I SUCK ASS AT THEM BUT STREET FIGHTER II IS A DAMN GOOD GAME. THE ONLY SPECIAL MOVE I CAN EVER PULL OFF IS E. HONDA'S HAND FLAPPING ALL OVER THE PLACE THING SINCE IT'S BASICALLY JUST MASHING A BUTTON OVER AND OVER BUT IT'S STILL FUN. THIS AD LET ME GET SUPER NINTENDO AND GENESIS REPRESENTATION INTO THE POST WITHOUT ME HAVING TO DIG THROUGH EVERY COMIC I OWN DESPERATELY LOOKING FOR TOEJAM AND EARL AND EARTHBOUND ADVERTISEMENTS.
THIS ONE'S FROM THE SWAMP THING ISSUE I SHOWED OFF EARLIER, I'M NOT UPLOADING THE IMAGE AGAIN
HAD TO INCLUDE THIS AD JUST FOR THE ANGRY DENTURES AT THE BOTTOM.ANYBODY OWN AN ATARI LYNX? I'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN ONE ALTHOUGH IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A REALLY DAMN GOOD HANDHELD SYSTEM FOR THE TIME. IT IS A BIT CLUNKY LOOKING BUT IT'S GOT THAT COLOR LCD, 16-BIT POWER AND APPARENTLY CAN ALSO BE PLAYED LEFT HANDED? THEM GAMES THOUGH... CALIFORNIA GAMES? BLUE LIGHTNING? GATES OF ZENDOCON? ELECTROCOP? ZARLOR MERCENARY? XENOPHOBE? VINDICATORS? CHIP'S CHALLENGE? GAMEBOY HAD TETRIS AND TETRIS ALONE WAS ENOUGH TO EAT ATARI'S BREAKFAST, LUNCH AND DINNER.
THIS ONE'S FROM THE MAD MAGAZINE, I'VE HAD ENOUGH POLITICS FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR AFTER LAST WEDNESDAY
ANOTHER REALLY GOOD HANDHELD SYSTEM COMPLETELY ECLIPSED BY THE NINTENDO JUGGERNAUT. NOW THAT NINTENDO'S MAIN CONSOLE IS A HANDHELD WE'RE ALL FUCKED. SO MANY PEOPLE GONNA BUY SWITCHES THAT NINTENDO'S GOING TO HAVE ENOUGH CASH TO TAKE OVER APPLE, DISNEY AND AMAZON BY 2025. THEN THEIR NEXT CONSOLE GENERATION WILL BE A VR DISASTER AND WE'LL ALL CRAP ON NINTENDO'S SILLY CONSOLE GIMMICKS. UNTIL THEY FINALLY RELEASE A CONSOLE THAT IS LITERALLY A FLUFFY PLUSH TOY THAT PLAYS MARIO, ZELDA, POKEMON AND SMASH AND THEY TAKE OVER THE WORLD
OH YEAH, THE PSP. I ONLY PLAYED IT ONCE FOR ABOUT A WEEK BUT IT'S A NICE LITTLE CONSOLE! THAT AND THE VITA ARE LEGIT GAMING DEVICES AND PROBABLY DESERVER TO DO BETTER THAN THEY DID. THEY ALSO HAD A LOT OF INDIE GAMES PORTED TO THEM WAY BEFORE THE SWITCH BECAME THE STEAM GREENLIGHT OF CONSOLES. THE BIGGEST ADVANTAGE TO THE PSP IS HOW EASY THEY ARE TO HACK. THE FIRST TIME I PLAYED A LINK TO THE PAST WAS ON AN EMULATOR ON A PSP. I HOPE NINTENDO FORGIVES ME WHEN THEY BECOME OUR OVERLORDS
SHONEN JUMP VOL 5 ISSUE 11 NOVEMBER 2007
THERE'S A SMALL USED BOOK STORE NEAR ME THAT IS STACKED FLOOR TO CEILING WITH ALL KINDS OF WONDERFUL OLD MUSTY BOOKS AND THEY EVEN HAVE A BOOKSTORE CAT AND IT IS A WONDERFUL PLACE. I FOUND THIS SHONEN JUMP ISSUE THERE FOR A BUCK AND IT'S FILLED WITH MANGA GREATEST HITS. NARUTO. BLEACH. ONE PIECE. YU-GI-OH. YUYU HAKUSHO. NOT TO MENTION BOBOBO-BO BO-BOBO. ALL THIS ICONIC STUFF I WILL NEVER EVER GET AROUND TO READING ALL 8000 CHAPTERS OF EACH STORY. IT'S NICE TO HAVE A LITTLE SAMPLER OF IT THOUGH. I SHOULD REALLY GO BACK AND BUY THE REST OF THE ISSUES. GOTTA KEEP THAT PLACE IN BUSINESS AS THEY ARE MY GO-TO PLACE TO GET ALL THE GOOD STUFF ON FREE COMIC BOOK DAY
MEGAMAN! ON THE DS. THE DS IS MY FAVORITE SYSTEM ASIDE FROM MAYBE SUPER NINTENDO. MOST OF THE REALLY GOOD SUPER NINTENDO GAMES GOT A VERSION ON THE DS ANYWAY. I CAN PLAY LEGEND OF ZELDA MINISH CAP AND POKEMON SOUL SILVER ON THE DS AND SHIT, REALLY WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED? I HAVE TO MAKE A CONFESSION HERE. I HAVE NEVER PLAYED ANY MEGAMAN GAMES EVER. AT LEAST NOT THAT I CAN REMEMBER. SOME OF YOU JUST FAINTED AND MAYBE KEELED OVER AND CRACKED YOUR HEAD OPEN ON A TABLE OR MAYBE A HARD FLOOR AND YOUR BRAINS ARE LEAKING OUT IN A PUDDLE OF BLOOD AND SPINAL FLUID AND MAYBE YOU'RE DEAD. SORRY ABOUT THAT. I WASN'T PURPOSEFULLY AVOIDING THE GAMES, I JUST NEVER HAD ANY OF THEM BACK IN THE DAY AND HAVEN'T RUN INTO THEM SINCE. SURE I CAN GO THE ROMZ ROUTE BUT THAT TAKES SETTING UP EMULATORS AND FINDING A CONTROLLER THAT WORKS ON A LAPTOP AND THAT'S EFFORT. THIS IS ONE REASON WHY I WANTED TO GET ONE OF THE NINTENDO MINIS, SO I COULD PLAY MEGAMAN AND MAYBE BEAT SUPER MARIO BROS FINALLY BUT THEN BUYING ONE TURNED INTO A DEBACLE AND NINTENDO WON'T MAKE MORE OF THEM BECAUSE NINTENDO AND YA KNOW I'M LAZY SO... NO MEGAMAN YET FOR ME. HOPEFULLY I'LL FIGURE OUT A WAY TO PLAY IT BEFORE SOCIETY COLLAPSES AND CIVILIZATION BURNS TO THE GROUND. AND SORRY AGAIN TO ALL THOSE WHO FELL DOWN AND DIED, YOU CAN HAUNT ME A LITTLE IF YOU WANT I KINDA DESERVE IT
GOOD NEWS: EVERY COMIC HAS BEEN SCANNED, UPLOADED AND PLACED IN A DRAFT FOR THE REST OF THE AD-MAS POSTS. ALL THAT'S LEFT TO DO IS WRITE
BAD NEWS: THE STEAM WINTER SALE STARTED YESTERDAY
NOT LOOKING TOO GOOD FOR THE REST OF THESE POSTS IF I'M BEING PERFECTLY HONEST
HELL YOU MAY NEVER SEE THIS ONE DUE TO ME LOOKING FOR EVERY HORROR THEMED HIDDEN OBJECT GAME PRICED UNDER A BUCK. AWW YEAH, HERE'S ONE BASED ON A DEMON THAT ESCAPED FROM A GLASS PAPERWEIGHT THAT HAS TERRIBLE VOICE ACTING, AWWWW YEAAAAAH
2000AD #413 APRIL 13TH 1985
YEP, THIS IS THE 2000AD WHERE JUDGE DREDD CAME FROM. ANYONE REMEMBER JUDGE DREDD? SYLVESTER STALLONE? THE REBOOT STARRING THE GUY WHO PLAYED BONES IN THE REBOOTED STAR TREK? ANYONE?
ONE THEME OF MY COMIC COLLECTING IS WHERE ONE TIME I FOUND SOMETHING COOL AND CHEAP, BOUGHT A FEW ISSUES TO SAMPLE, AND THEN NEVER EVER FOUND ANY ISSUES OF THAT COMIC EVER AGAIN. IT HAPPENED WITH THAT CONAN COMIC I SHOWED OFF A FEW DAYS AGO, FOUND A BOX OF THEM FOR A BUCK EACH AT AN ANTIQUE STORE IN CHICAGO, BOUGHT FIVE THAT LOOKED INTERESTING AND HAVE NOT SEEN ONE SINCE. SAME WITH THE 2000AD'S. THE BOOK NOOK IN ATLANTA HAD A BOX OF THEM MAYBE 20 YEARS AGO FOR AN ODD PRICE LIKE $2.25 EACH OR SOMETHING SO I BOUGHT A SMALL SAMPLING AND THEN THEY DISAPPEARED. AND I REALLY DOUBT I'LL SEE ANY OF THESE AGAIN WHAT WITH THEM BEING OVER 35 YEARS OLD, FROM THE UK AND PRINTED ON NEWSPRINT
I CHOSE THIS ONE SIMPLY BECAUSE OF THAT CRAZY COVER OF THE FLAMING ROBOT MURDERDOG. THE COVER IMAGE IS FROM THE THE FIRST STORY IN THE COMIC, ALAN MOORE'S BALLAD OF HALO JONES. THERE'S FIVE STORIES IN HERE, MOST OF THEM ARE SUPER VIOLENT AND FEATURE STUFF LIKE ROBOT DOGS, DRAGONS FIGHTING DEMONS, SPACE MARINES FIGHTING BAT MONSTERS. THE JUDGE DREDD STORY IS THE LAMEST ONE IN THE BOOK, HE BUSTS SOME YUPPIES MAKING CRANK CALLS. FOR REAL, THAT'S THE STORY. HOW DO YOU GO FROM BAT MONSTERS AND DRAGONS TO THAT. JUDGE DREDD SUCKS
OK THIS IS KINDA OUTSIDE THE SCOPE OF THIS PROJECT BUT C'MON. HOW CAN I NOT SHOW OFF AN AD FOR A FREE PANINI MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE STICKER ALBUM. EVERYONE LOVED PANINI STICKERS AND WE'RE ALL OLD ENOUGH HERE TO HAVE WATCHED HE-MAN ON ITS INITIAL BROADCAST. SADLY I DID NOT GET THE ISSUE WITH THE FREE ALBUM. I'M NOT SURE IF THE SHOP JUST DIDN'T HAVE IT OR IF I MISSED IT OR WHAT. I DID GET THE ISSUE WITH A FREE DUNE STICKER ALBUM AND BOY WAS I CONFUSED WHEN I OPENED THE COMIC AND SAW IT IN THERE. MAYBE I SHOULD SHOW THAT OFF INSTEAD OF DIGITAL DOGS
CALLED AN AUDIBLE TODAY AS MY ORIGINAL IDEA NEVER GELLED. HAVE SOME SPOOKY CHRISTMAS GHOSTS
GHOST STORIES #4 OCTOBER-DECEMBER 1963
DIDN'T REALIZE THIS WAS SO OLD WHEN I RESCUED IT FROM A CLEARANCE BOX. FOR BEING IN THAT NO-MAN'S LAND BETWEEN WERTHAM'S FOLLY AND THE RELAXING STANDARDS OF THE 70S IT'S NOT THAT BAD. NOT GORY OR GRUESOME BUT NICE SPOOKY TALES WITH A DECENT BODY COUNT.
STORY 1: A ROTTEN NEPHEW BUMPS OFF HIS UNCLE FOR THE INHERITANCE, BUT UNC HAS A SURPRISE PLANNED FOR HIM
STORY 2: A WOMAN IS DRAWN TO AN OLD MANSION IN THE WOODS AND DISCOVERS THAT IT USED TO BELONG TO A WITCH THAT LOOKS JUST LIKE HER
STORY 3: THE COVER STORY. A CRAZY ARTIST KIDNAPS AN OLD LADY AND FORCES HER TO POSE FOR A PAINTING UNTIL THEY BOTH DIE FROM EXHAUSTION AND THEN THERE'S A TWIST
STORY 4: MASSACRES EVERYWHERE. LITERALLY THOUSANDS OF INNOCENTS DEAD. I'M GUESSING THEY FIGURED THE PRUDES WOULD QUIT READING BY THIS POINT
ANOTHER PLASTIC SOLDIER SET AD. THE ROMAN CIVIL WAR IS PRETTY CHRISTMASY, ISN'T IT? LOTSA CAVALRY AND CHARIOTS AND CATAPULTS(!!!) WITH (harmless) AMMUNITION TO SHOOT AT THE OPPOSING GENERAL'S EYES WHEN IN HEATED COMBAT. SAID IT BEFORE, I'LL SAY IT AGAIN. HELLUVA DEAL FOR $1.98. I WANNA GO BACK IN TIME, BUY EVERY SET THEY MAKE AND HAVE A GIGANTIC FREE FOR ALL BATTLE ON SOMEONE'S LIVING ROOM FLOOR BEFORE THE AUTHORITIES SHOW UP AND DRAG ME OFF TO AREA 51 TO STUDY MY TIME MACHINE AND POSSIBLY MY BRAIN
WHEW! YESTERDAY'S POST WAS A DOOZIE. GONNA BE LAZY TODAY AND DO ZERO
ZERO GIRL #5 JUNE 2001
SOMETIMES I'M SCROUNGING THROUGH CHEAPO BOXES OF COMICS AND I'LL SEE A NAME I RECOGNIZE AND GRAD THE COMIC. THIS HAPPENED WITH THIS WHEN I SAW SAM KIETH AND REMEMBERED HIM FROM SANDMAN. I HAD NO IDEA WHAT A ZERO GIRL WAS BUT SHE LOOKED KINDA LIKE A HIPSTER DEMON ON THE COVER AND WHO DOESN'T LIKE TO READ ABOUT HIPSTER DEMONS. AFTER READING THE COMIC I STILL DON'T HAVE A FECKIN' CLUE WHAT'S GOING ON. MS. ZERO HAS TELEPORTATION POWERS AND IS BEING MENACED BY PEOPLE WITH BOXES FOR HEADS AND SHE SHOOTS BLUE GOOP OUT OF HER FEET WHEN THREATENED AND THERE ARE MANY, MANY, COASTERS. SOMETIMES YOU CAN PICK UP A RANDOM COMIC AND ENJOY IT WITH NO CONTEXT AND SOMETIMES YOU CAN'T. THE ARTWORK IS REALLY DANG GOOD THOUGH
BACK IN BLACK BAY-BEE
I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN THIS WAS A CARD BLOG AT ONE POINT. SPORTS CARDS WERE THE HOTNESS IN THE EARLY 90S THEN A STRIKE HAPPENED AND MAGIC SHOWED UP TO EAT EVERYONE'S LUNCH. THIS AD FOR THE NEW 7TH EDITION SET IS A TWO PAGE SPREAD RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE COMIC. WIZARDS OF THE COAST WAS ROLLING IN IT BY 2001. NEW ART BLACK BORDERS AND TOURNAMENT APPROVED IS ALL THEY NEEDED TO SELL LIKE HOTCAKES. NO RELICS. NO INSERTS. NO AUTOGRAPHS. NO PARALLELS. NO SHORT PRINTS. THE PREFERRED NOMENCLATURE IS 'RARES'. I'VE ONLY SLIGHTLY DIPPED MY TOE INTO THE MAGIC UNIVERSE MOSTLY BECAUSE I LIKE THE ARTWORK SO I DON'T UNDERSTAND MOST OF THIS STUFF. ESPECIALLY WHY THEY WENT BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN WHITE AND BLACK BORDERS, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT. ALL AND ALL THEY'RE PRETTY COOL ESPECIALLY IF YOU CAN FIND A PLACE THAT DUMPS OLD CARDS CHEAP BECAUSE THEY'RE NO LONGER LEGAL FOR TOURNAMENT PLAY
AND FOR THE RECORD, 'AND THIS TIME, SHE'S LEGAL' IS A REALLY CRINGY TAGLINE FOR AN AD. DO BETTER 2001
