TIME TO GET BANNED

EITHER TODAY OR YESTERDAY WAS THE ANNIVERSARY OF THE FIRST POST HERE LIKE EIGHT HUNDRED YEARS AGO I DON'T REMEMBER WHICH AND I'M TOO LAZY TO LOOK IT UP AND A DAY LATE IS GOOD ENOUGH AROUND HERE ANYWAY AND I THINK IT'S TIME TO GET THE WHOLE BLOG DELETED BY POSTING SEMI QUESTIONABLE CONTENT ANYWAY

HERE'S SOME MORE OF THOSE CANADA DIME BOX POSTS I WAS DOING BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO OCCUPY MYSELF IN LOCKDOWN. REMEMBER THE FANGORIA CARDS I POSTED MONTHS AGO? THIS IS THE SAME DEAL. I FOUND A BUNCH OF CARDS FOR SALE FROM A SET I LIKE BUT DON'T HAVE, FIGURED OUT THE BEST CARDS FROM THE SET AND PICKED OUT A SAMPLE OF FAVORITES BECAUSE AM TOO CHEAP TO JUST PLOP DOWN EIGHT OR NINE BUCKS TO GET AT LEAST MOST OF A COMPLETE SET. SMALL COMPLICATION THIS TIME, THE SET I WAS PICKING FROM IS COMIC IMAGES BORIS SERIES ONE. BORIS VALLEJO IS THE GUY WHO PAINTED ALL THOSE SLIGHTLY NAUGHTY FANTASY CALENDARS FROM THE EIGHTIES AND NINETIES WITH BUFF DUDES WITH SWORDS AND DRAGONS AND LOTS OF BARELY DRESSED LADIES ON OIL PAINTINGS THAT LOOK LIKE A POPPIER VERSION OF FRANK FRAZETTA

I KNOW A LOT OF YOU GUYS USE TDCB TO CATALOGUE YOUR COLLECTION AND MAKE TRADES AND HAVE LOTS OF FUN BUT I ONLY USE IT TO LOOK UP CHECKLISTS AND CHECK THE GALLERY TO SEE WHAT THE CARDS LOOK LIKE. THIS IS WHAT I DID WITH FANGORIA, PULL UP THE GALLERY, FIND THE BEST CARDS, NOTE THE CARD NUMBER, BUY. DID THIS WITH THE BORIS VALLEJO SET AND BECAUSE PAINTED BOOBIES IT WAS MARKED AS ADULT CONTENT SO I COULDN'T SEE THE GALLERY UNLESS I CREATED AN ACCOUNT. PEOPLE ON TWITTER SEEM TO LIKE THE SITE SO I CREATED AN ACCOUNT. THE SITE IMMEDIATELY YELLED AT ME FOR USING AN AD BLOCKER. I ROLLED MY EYES AND CLICKED ON THE GALLERY AND WAS THEN INFORMED THAT I HAD TO PAY TEN DOLLARS TO SEE THE GALLERY BECAUSE IT WAS ADULT CONTENT AND THEY COULDN'T HOST ADS AND THEN I LOGGED OUT FOREVER. I WILL CONTINUE TO USE THE SITE FOR CHECKLISTS AND GALLERIES IN ANONYMOUS MODE BUT I DON'T THINK I WANT TO DEAL WITH LOGGED IN MODE ANYMORE. FORTUNATELY IMAGES OF THIS SET ARE ALL OVER THE INTERWEBS SO I QUICKLY FIGURED OUT SOME CARDS I LIKED AND BOUGHT THEM

WARNING - THERE ARE SLEAZY EIGHTIES CHEESECAKE FANTASY PAINTINGS AHEAD SO CLOSE THE TAB NOW IF SEEING SUCH THINGS WILL K̸̤͍̭͇̣͖͓͊̂̊͆̓̓̕Ȉ̵͙̑̽͛̆̓̆͂̎́̌͠L̵̥̟̠̜̓̊̃͗̒̀̀́̈̄̔̆͐L̶̡̜̦̜͎͉̩̱͛̈́̈́͗͐̊͂̀͐͂̃̽̿̕͜ ̴͔͙̝̣͎͍̲̣̐͛̾̉͑̀̌̈͑͗̎͋Ỳ̵̡̹͖̪͎̻̘̠̭̩́̊̌Ǫ̴̧̛̹̩͓̻̳͉̒̇̿̍̇̾͒͛͑͜͝͝Ư̶̖̟̦̟̗̌̅̑̄̎̃̒̊͒͘ͅ

TRUST THE HORSE, RUN NOW

#3 - NIGHT

SPARKLY HAIR LADY RIDING A BIRD CHARIOT PULLED BY A LIZARDY GRIFFONY THING. SUPER BAD ASS. AND THOSE ARE ACTUAL HAIR SPARKLES, NOT INK/PAPER LOSS FROM THE CARDS BRICKING TOGETHER

THE BACKS HAVE A TON OF INFORMATION AND A SECOND SKETCHY DRAWING. POPEYED NAKED DEMON DUDE EYES YOU MENACINGLY FOR LOOKING AT IMAPPROPRIATE TRADING CARDS. WE NOW LEARN THAT THIS PAINTING IS LADY NIGHT BRINGING DARKNESS TO THE WORLD FROM THE 1990 MYTOHOLOGY CALENDAR. I HAD ONE OF THESE CALENDARS WHEN I WAS A KID BUT I DON'T REMEMBER WHICH ONE AND I DON'T THINK I KEPT IT AND IT MIGHT HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN JULIE BELL OR THE HILDEBRANDT BROS, WHO KNOWS

#26 - WITCH AND HER FAMILIAR

WITCHES ARE COOL. THIS WITCH IS WEARING A SHREDDED DRESS/CAPE COMBO AND HAS SOME WICKED TATS. HER LITTLE FISHY FRIEND SEEMS TO BE MADE OUT OF SPARE PARTS AND ISN'T QUITE SURE WHERE TO GO. THE FOREST LOOKS PRETTY GNARLY IN BOTH THE LITERAL AND SLANG SENSES OF THE WORD. THE HORSE LOOKS LIKE WE ALL FEEL AFTER THIS YEAR

GOOD GRAVY, THAT'S SOME WILD TELL-TALE HEART SHIT HAPPENING ON THE BACK. EXCEPT WITH A WHOLE DEMON LADY INSTEAD OF A HEART. IF YOU'RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH EPIC MAGAZINE, IT IS BASICALLY MARVEL RIPPING OFF HEAVY METAL. IT SEEMS TO BE HARD TO FIND ISSUES NOW BUT I PICKED UP A COPY IN MY MISSPENT YOUTH AND IT WAS PRETTY DOPE FOR A RIPOFF AND I THINK IT WAS MY FIRST EXPOSURE TO CEREBUS

#31 - UNICORN

Y'ALL KNOW I LOVE THE PONIES. HERE'S SOME CONCRETE PROOF THAT BORIS DOES, IN FACT, KNOW HOW TO PAINT CLOTHES

WHOOPS, FURRY BUTT. THIS CARD IS JUST A PLAIN OL' PAINTING. BORIS HAS SOME HELPFUL ART TIPS FOR US AS WELL IF YOU CAN PULL YOUR EYES OFF THE CATGIRL

#50 - GEMINI, THE TWINS

MOARER BUTT. HERE'S SOME ZODIAC BUTTERFLY TATTOO LADIES SITTING ON A ROSE. DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT HAS TO DO WITH CASTOR AND POLLUX BUT WHATEVS 

AAARGH - THIS DRAWING IS CREEPING ME OUT THE MORE I LOOK AT IT. I WISH I HAD BOUGHT AN EXAMPLE OF EACH OF THE BACK SKETCHES NOW. OR JUST THE WHOLE BLOODY SET. THIS 1990 MYTHOLOGY CALENDAR MAY BE THE ONE I HAD NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, THOSE IMAGES SEEM FAMILIAR

#61 - SHE VAMPIRE

FUCK YEAH VAMPIRES. MAYBE MY FAVORITE CARD FROM THE SET. RED RED LIPS WITH THAT SUBTLE GREEN POISON BREATH. YOU DON'T NOTICE THE CREEPY FACE EARRINGS UNTIL LATER BUT DAMN ARE THEY UNNERVING ONCE YOU SEE EM

DRAGON ON THE BACK!!! HELL YES THIS IS ABSOLUTELY MY FAVORITE CARD. THIS FANTASY TECHNIQUES BOOK MIGHT BE WORTH TRACKING DOWN. ALL YOU PERUVIAN LAWYERS ARE ALLOWED TO SPAM MY COMMENTS FOR JUST THIS POST. GO CRAZY FOLKS

#66 - ENCHANTMENT

HERE WE GO. BLOG FLAGGED AS ADULT CONTENT. NO MORE MONITIZATION EVER. BANNED BY VISA, PAYPAL AND THE LOCAL CREDIT UNION. FORCE YOUR EYES TO THE BOTTOM OF THE CARD AND THERE'S MORE CRAZY FURRY SHIT GOING ON. TIGER YIFFING AN EAGLE OR SOME SUCH NONSENSE. WHERE'S MY TRADING CARD OF THAT

OK SO THIS IS A COVER OF AN ACTUAL BOOK. IF AMAZON CAN SHOW IT I PROBABLY CAN TOO. I APPRECIATE HOW THEY DECIDED TO PUT A COOL SKETCH OF A RHINOCEROUS ON THE BACK OF THE PORNIEST CARD TO BALANCE EVERYTHING OUT

THE EARLY NINETIES WERE A GOLDMINE FOR FANTASY ART SETS, THERE ARE ALSO SETS FEATURING FRANK FRAZETTA, BERNI WRIGHTSON, WILLIAM STOUT, JULIE BELL, HILDEBRANDT BROS AND MANY OTHERS. IF YOU'RE ACTIVELY LOOKING FOR THE BEWBS, THERE'S PLENTY MORE OF THOSE SETS TOO. LOOK FOR ROYO, OLIVIA, BORIS AND JULIE AGAIN, IF THE CARD IS BY COMIC IMAGES YOU'RE HEADING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. I HOPE THIS WILL INSPIRE SOME OF YOU TO START YOUR OWN FILTHY DISGUSTING CARD COLLECTION, JUST SAVE ME SOME BORIS CARDS ON THAT DIME CARD SITE

*CLARIFICATION - I WORK IN IT AND I WILL NEVER NOT USE AN AD BLOCKER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. EXTREMELY RARELY I WILL WHITELIST A SITE IF I TRUST THEM COMPLETELY AND TCDB HAS NOT WON THAT TRUST. SORRY BUT AFTER MY THIRD WINDOWS REIMAGE IN 2010 I AM DONE WITH SHADY-ASS INTERNET ADS FOREVER. IF YOU SEE AN AD ON THIS OR ANY OF MY POSTS LET ME KNOW BECAUSE I DID NOT AUTHORIZE THAT SHIT