For the Price of a Rack Pack...

...I got all this out of bargain bins at a card show last month. It's like I made my own vintage 1960 card rack pack!

Let's start the post with a Post. A '60 Topps Post. Now I want to find a 1962 Post Wally Post so I can write a post about a Post Post.

Pete Runnels with the Boston Sock Monster logo. Pete is also useful for your '60s ballcard fantasy team since he has multi-positional eligibility and you don't need to write in 2B in pencil because you ran out of second basemen.

Old Barve alert! I already had this card but I needed another one because I am a team set collector which is daft but the card was cheap so leave me alone. One can never have too many Felixes.

Ede Ihr of the dang rotten stupid Posey was out stinkin lousy Giants. Back in the '60s the Giants were sad sacks who always got their hearts broken and how I long for those days to come again. Oh well, go ahead and print up those Giants 2016 World Champion shirts and beat the rush.

Dick pic! Look at the colors on this card. Look at that portrait of Dick staring off into space while his black & white doppelganger watches intently. Look at how the letters in his name are just all over the place like a 7 year old pasted them in like stickers. Look at that stoned-ass Cubs logo. That bear is blazed, I tell you.

Tito! With a cheek full of North Carolina's entire tobacco crop from 1959. Throw in Virginia's crop with the black & white pic. Notice Chief Wahoo is still wearing his American League crown from 1954.

Red and yella, black and white. This card doesn't need any more colors than that, thank you very much. And as far as my '60s card fantasy team is concerned Sammy and Pete Runnels got the whole infield covered.

Jim O'Toole won 81 games for the Reds from 1960-1964 and you don't even know who the heck he is you cretins. "That's because wins is a bullshit stat" you say. Fine then. 21.5 WAR during that time period if you like newfangled stats. I'm not even discussing Vada Pinson with you because someone will throw out the term "Hall of Very Good" and I'll have to punch that someone in the face.

ANOTHER SOCK MONSTER ZOMG. Here's Jerry Casale and I don't know who he is because I'm a cretin too. I'm sure AdamE will tell me because he wants me to trade Jerry to him but Jerry's going in my set so sorry Adam.

Not the Hall of Fame Earl Averill, but his kid which is close enough. With the Super Rare Catcher-Third Base position eligibility. Also that catcher's mitt may in fact be a black hole.

Barry Latman. If his name was Larry Batman he wouldn't be a pitcher. He'd be a CRIMEFIGHTER. Also of note is the fact that the Chicago White Sox used the Pegasus Boots from the Legend of Zelda games as their team logo, decades before the first game came out in 1986. Which didn't even have the Pegasus Boots as an item. Makes you think.

SERIOUSLY THE GIANTS WERE FAR LESS OBNOXIOUS A TEAM (no offense, Night Owl) BEFORE THEY BECAME A FRIGGIN DYNASTY AND SHIT. Here's Hobie the Catcher.
Hobie Hobie Hobie.
It's fun to say Hobie.

Gus is offended by all the Giants I picked up at the card show. I couldn't help it, I needed them for my set. Yeah, I'm building a set of 1960 Topps, you wanna fight about it? Also, cartoon Orioles are adorable.

Jose Pagan plays the Infield! All of it! ALL OF IT

Is it just me or does that uniform look shady. That B on the cap is off. The Sox didn't have stripes on their sleeves. Holy cow that's a '60 photoshooped Cubs uniform. Airbrushed, even. Buzzing Bear replaced by Menacing Sock Monster. Oh, the deception we card collectors have to endure.

Howcome Ted didn't get the airbrush treatment?? "Ah, it's just the Phillies, no one cares about them", says the Topps Airbrush artist as he kicks off work early to get a beer. A single tear rolls down the cheek of an  executive at Fleer headquarters in Philadelphia as he examines his competitor's product. "I shall have my revenge" he mutters through gritted teeth. REVEEEEEENGE

Dangit another stinking Giant. Wait... another fluffy cute Oriole? I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING ANYMORE. This is more confusing than the numbering on 2014 Topps Update.

But wait... Every rack pack always has some inserts!

Rookie Stars! 26 years of Major League experience between these guys when it was all said and done. Not bad for a highish series floaty head rookie combo card.

MVPs! Yogi and Campy. Back when catchers were The Man. Also of note is Campanella with the imaginary card created 20 years later because Topps was in a death battle with Bowman at the time and couldn't make a card for him. It's good to have a monopoly.

Yaz had a rookie card in 1960 Topps and here he is on a '70s card with bitchin' sideburns. Eat yer heart out Milhaus.

Waddya think? Should I have just picked up a rack pack of Topps from Wally World? I didn't get a single parallel in this pack and everyone loves those after all.