ON THE SECOND DAY OF CARDMAS

I GOOFED OFF AND WATCHED TRILOGY OF TERROR STARRING KAREN BLACK WHICH IS AWESOME AND WORTH CHECKING OUT

THERE AIN'T A LOT OF PACKS WITH ONLY TWO CARDS IN THEM SO TODAY YOU GET THIS

YEAH IT'S PRE OPENED NO ONE CARES
EAGLE-EYED READERS CAN PROBABLY FIND SOME OF THESE CARDS IN PREVIOUS POSTS NONE OF THIS MATTERS. THE PAST IS A LIE THERE IS ONLY NOW. LET'S LOOK AT THE 'CARDS'

HOLY CRAP THE GUM LOOKS ROUGH SCANNED LIKE THIS.NO I'M NOT CHEWING IT. NOT TOUCHING IT. THAT GUM IS PERMANENTLY FUSED TO TERRY KENNEDY'S FACE AND NO AMOUNT OF ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY WILL SAVE HIM. REST OF THE RUB DOWN: SEAVER, MURRAY, OZZIE, A BAT AND TWO GLOVES. THREE HALL OF FAMERS AND TERRY'S GOT A GRIPE AFTER THIS WEEK. THE NEXT UN-GUMMERED CARD:

RICKEY, RIGGY AND MR. BETS. FOUR MORE HALL OF FAMERS, THE BAT IS A DRINKING BUDDY OF TONY LARUSSA. I KID, I KID, I'M ALL FOR HAROLD BAINES IN THE HALL BECAUSE IT MEANS MAXIMUM BALLOT CHAOS AND GNASHING OF TEETH AMONGST THE SMALL HALL GATEKEEPERS. MARVIN'S OUT, KUHN IS IN, SHIT SUCKS ANYWAY.

NEVERMIND ALL THAT MESS, JUST LOOK AT RICKEY'S BUTT

LOOK AT IT 

CHECKLIST!!! WITH THAT SICKLY GREEN BACK SO YOU KNOW IT'S FROM 1985
EVERYBODY GETS AT LEAST 4 PLAYERS EXCEPT THE SHITTY AL TEAMS. COULDN'T FIND A THIRD A TO SHOVE INTO A RUB-A-DUB, EH TOPPS. THEY EVEN LEFT SPACE FOR A COUPLE MORE CLEVELANDERS BUT TOPPS JUST SAID FUCK IT AND ADDED MORE BASEBALLS TO THE SHEETS. I MEAN JESUS CHRIST, BRUCE BENEDICT MADE THE CUT, THERE HAD TO BE ANOTHER WORTHY MARINER SOMEWHERE

RUBBY DOWN PICTURE INSTRUCTIONS, EVEN MORE IMPORTANT NOW THAN IN 1985 SINCE YOU SPOILED MILLENNIALS HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK THE CONCEPT OF THESE THINGS EVEN IS. YOU SLACKERS ALL HAVE YOUR NOSES STUCK IN YOUR IPHONES LOOKING AT AVOCADOS AND COMMUNISM AND DON'T APPRECIATE THE MORE LUDICROUS DISTRACTIONS OF THE ANCIENT AGE. BACK IN THE PLEISTOCENE ERA WE ACTUALLY BOUGHT THESE THINGS FOR REAL AND MADE PICTURES OUT OF THEM BY RUBBING THEM OUT ON SOME PAPER AND DRAWING SHIT BECAUSE WE WERE DESPERATE FOR WHATEVER FUN WE COULD FIND. RUB A COIN ON A CARD NOWADAYS AND PSA WON'T RETURN YOUR PHONE CALLS ANYMORE

TIL TOMORROW MY DUAL TORTOISE PIGEONS