Atlanta Comic Con Pickups

THIS CONVENTION WAS LIKE THREE WEEKS AGO BUT IN MY DEFENSE IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO MOVE PICTURES FROM YOUR PHONE TO YOUR LAPTOP WHEN YOU ARE VERY LAZY

SO WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS A COUPLE MONTHS AGO MY WIFE FOUND A DISCOUNT DEAL ON ATLANTA UNITED TICKETS AND EVEN WITH THE DISCOUNT THE PRICES WERE LIKE HOLY SHIT AND I MENTIONED THAT FOR THAT MONEY I'D RATHER JUST GO TO DRAGON*CON AGAIN AND MY SON WHO CAN'T HEAR WORTH SHIT WHEN YOU TELL HIM TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH OR DO HIS HOMEWORK OR GO TO BED HEARD FROM THREE ROOMS AWAY AND IMMEDIATELY PLANNED OUT A SCHEDULE TO GO TO FOUR COMIC CONVENTIONS THIS YEAR AND IS ANGLING FOR MOMOCON NEXT YEAR. ATLANTA COMIC CON WAS THE FIRST ON THE LIST AND IS HELD IN A CORNER OF THE GEORGIA WORLD CONGRESS CENTER WAAAAAY IN THE BACK TO SEGREGATE THE NERDS FROM THE NORMIES AND UM, BASKETBALL PLAYERS? THERE WAS SERIOUSLY A BASKETBALL CONVENTION? TOURNAMENT? I DUNNO A SHITLOAD OF BASKETBALL PLAYERS WANDERING AROUND

THIS CON IS TINY COMPARED TO DRAGON*CON BUT WAY BIGGER THAN THE OTHER LOCAL SHOWS, WHICH TO BE FAIR ARE USUALLY HELD IN LIBRARIES OR MIDDLE SCHOOLS. IN THE BACK WAS THE AUTOGRAPH LINES WHICH I COMPLETELY IGNORED BECAUSE THE ABSOLUTE CHEAPEST 'GRAPH OR PHOTO OP WAS $25 AND  I HAD $23 AND A POCKET OF CHANGE FOR THE SHOW. THERE WAS A BIG-ASS VENDOR FLOOR WITH A BUNCH OF PEOPLE SELLING CRAP AND AN ARTIST'S ALLEY IN THE MIDDLE. THE ARTIST'S ALLEY WAS A NICE MIX OF LEGIT MARVEL AND DC COMICS PROFESSIONALS (WHO ALSO MADE APPEARANCES IN PANELS) AND A BUNCH OF LOCAL ARTISTS. I WISH I COULD HAVE SPENT MORE MONEY WITH THE LOCAL DOODS BUT I DID GET A SKETCH CARD FROM A FAVORITE LOCAL ARTIST WHICH WILL BE SHOWN OFF AT A LATER TIME. THERE WAS THE OBLIGATORY OVERPRICED SNACK BARS WHICH WE IGNORED BECAUSE WE SNUCK IN A WAL-MART SUB FOR LUNCH. GAMING WAS WELL REPRESENTED WITH A WALL OF ARCADE CABINETS WITH FREE PLAY AND ANOTHER ROOM OF PC GAMING. MY SON BEAT ME AT DUCK GAME AND I FELT PRIDE

WE ONLY WENT TO TWO PANELS BECAUSE WE PLANNED POORLY. THE FIRST ONE WAS GREAT, THREE VOICE ACTORS DID THEIR THING FOR AN HOUR. THERE WAS A LOT OF POOP JOKES AND FUNNY VOICES AND VENERATION OF THE GUY WHO DID THE VOICE OF OPTIMUS PRIME. I'M NOT LOOKING UP THE NAMES OF THE ACTORS BUT IT WAS BILLY FROM THE ADVENTURES OF BILLY AND MANDY, A GUY FROM THE STAR WARS CARTOON AND A GUY FROM AN ANIME. FAIRY TALE? IT THINK. THE NEXT PANEL DIDN'T GO AS WELL, IT WAS A BUNCH OF GUYS WHO DREW FOR MARVEL IN THE '70S INCLUDING THE CREATOR OF PUNISHER AND THEY WERE MOSTLY ALL FED UP WITH THE COMICS INDUSTRY. I NOW REGRET NOT GOING TO THE BATMAN '89 PANEL INSTEAD. THERE WAS A WATCHMAN PANEL AND A COUPLE OTHER INTERESTING ONES BUT WE STUPIDLY TOOK THAT TIME TO SHOP THE VENDORS AND MISSED THEM. ONCE WE HAD SPENT ALL OUR MONEY THE ONLY PANEL LEFT WAS ON AQUAMAN AND WHO THE HELL WANTS TO SEE THAT

NO! YOU WANT TO SEE THE CRAP I WASTED MY MONEY ON! I KNOW FOR A FACT AT LEAST HALF OF YOU ONLY COME FOR THE PRETTY PICTURES. I WENT INTO THIS MESS WITH A GAME PLAN AND I ACTUALLY FOLLOWED IT TO THE LETTER. HERE IS MY GAME PLAN HIGHLIGHTED IN RED:

TRANSMETROPLITAN 30 31
THE SANDMAN 23 50
FLAMING CARROT 1-6, 32

***NOTE HERE THAT I SWAPPED THE ISSUE NUMBERS THAT I NEED FOR SANDMAN AND TRANSMET. THIS WAS NOT A PROBLEM BECAUSE I BOUGHT NO ISSUES OF EITHER COMIC. I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE CAUGHT MY ERROR IF I HAD FOUND ANY OF THESE ISSUES. MAYBE

EC REPRINTS
MAD MAGAZINES
HOUSE OF MYSTERY/SECRETS/PLOP

DONT PASS UP HELLBLAZERS IN A DOLLAR BOX!!!
GET SOME WEIRD BOOLSHEET FROM CHEAPO BOXEN

DEAR READER, I KNOCKED THIS SHIT OUT OF THE PARK EVEN WITH MY LIMITED FUNDS.

FIRST COMIC BOUGHT: HELLBLAZER ANNUAL #1

SO HERE'S MY GENERAL PROCEDURE AT CARD SHOWS/COMIC CONVENTIONS: WALK AROUND THE ENTIRE VENDING HALL AND SEE WHAT THEY GOT BEFORE SPENDING ANY CASH. FIND THE DIME/QUARTER/DOLLAR BOXES. FIND THE CHEAPO BINS. SCOUT AROUND A BIT. OF YOU SEE SOMETHING YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO HAVE IMMEDIATELY, TAKE A MENTAL NOTE OF IT AND IF YOU REALLY REALLY WANT IT FOR REALS YOU'LL REMEMBER IT AFTER YOU FINISH LOOKING AT EVERY TABLE. IF YOU GO BACK AND IT'S GONE, IT WAS NOT MEANT TO BE. I KINDA CHEATED WITH THIS ONE BECAUSE I HAD SEEN MOSTLY EVERYTHING EXCEPT ARTIST'S ALLEY WHEN I FOUND THIS IN A DOLLAR BOX. DON'T REMEMBER IF IT WAS A TWEET OR A BLOG POST BUT PREVIOUSLY I EXPRESSED MY REGRETS ABOUT FINDING EARLY HELLBLAZER ISSUES IN DOLLAR BOXES AND PASSING THEM UP. REMEMBERING MY ANGUISH I IMMEDIATELY BOUGHT THE THING EVEN THOUGH THERE WERE STILL TABLES UNSEEN. STICK TO THE PLAN!

HAVEN'T ACTUALLY READ THIS YET BUT I FLIPPED THRU IT AND IT LOOKS LIKE JOHN CONSTANTINE IS IN THE MIDDLE AGES SOMEHOW? AND THERE'S DEMON SHENANIGANS GOING ON OF COURSE. DON'T RECALL ANYONE THROWING SWORDS AT JOHN BUT MAYBE I SKIPPED THAT PAGE

PURCHASE #2 SIGNED JAMES BOND PRINT FROM TOM RICHMOND

BROKE MY RULE AGAIN AT ARTISTS ALLEY. WAS BARELY A QUARTER WAY AROUND THE ROW WHEN I CAME TO TOM RICHMOND'S TABLE. TOM IS AN ARTIST FOR MAD MAGAZINE AMONG OTHER THINGS AND HE HAD A COLLECTION OF NEWER ISSUES FOR SALE. SADLY DID NOT FIND ISSUE #4 OF THE REBOOT WITH THE COVER MAKING FUN OF THE SHINING. IF ANYONE HAS THAT ISSUE OR KNOWS WERE I CAN FIND IT AFFORDABLY PLEASE LET ME KNOW, I'M KICKING MYSELF FOR NOT GETTING A SUBSCRIPTION AND MISSING THAT ONE WHEN IT WAS ON SALE. TOM HAD A FEW $5 PRINTS AND ONE OF THEM WAS THIS JAMES BOND CARICATURE AND SIGNATURE WAS FREE WITH PURCHASE SO NO WAY I COULD PASS THAT UP. TOM ASKED IF I WANTED AN INSCRIPTION AND I COMPLETELY BLANKED BECAUSE MY BRAIN SHUTS OFF WHEN I MEET PEOPLE I ADMIRE AND HE SIGNED IT MADLY! WHICH IS AWESOME. ALMOST IMMEDIATELY BEHIND TOM WAS THE OTHER ARTIST I ENDED UP  BUYING SOMETHING FROM BUT THAT'S A STORY FOR ANOTHER POST

AT THIS POINT I HAD SCOPED OUT THE BARGAIN BIN COMIC BOXES AND MY SON FOUND HALF A DOZEN THINGS HE WANTED BUT COULDN'T AFFORD. TWO THINGS HAD CAUGHT MY EYE ON THE TRIP AROUND THE FLOOR. A COPY OF THE GRAPHIC NOVEL BLANKETS FOR A FIVER AND A GODZILLA MOVIE POSTER. I FIGURED I COULD FIND BLANKETS AT THE LIBRARY OR IN A HUMBLE BUNDLE EVENTUALLY SO GAVE UP ON IT. AFTER MY ARTIST ALLEY PICKUPS THE GODZILLA POSTER WAS SADLY OUT OF MY BUDGET. I STILL HAVEN'T HUNG UP THE FLAMING CARROT PRINT I GOT AT LAST YEAR'S CON SO TO BE HONEST IT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST THAT GODZILLA GOES TO SOMEONE MORE WORTHY. AT THIS POINT WE WENT FOR PANELS AND LUNCH. BUT THEN....... TIME TO DIG THRU CHEAPSKATE BOXES

PURCHASE #3 HORROR COMIX!

GLADSTONE TALES FROM THE CRYPT REPRINT #5

GLADSTONE WEIRD SCIENCE REPRINT #4

MARVEL FEAR #5

 EC COMIX BAYBEEEEE! IF YOU REMEMBER FROM MY WALLY WOOD POST THERE ARE SEVERAL DIFFERENT FLAVORS OF EC COMIC REPRINTS. MOST JUST REPRINT ONE ISSUE BUT THESE GLADSTONE REPRINTS ARE DOUBLE-SIZED!!!! TWO COMICS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE! ON MY INITIAL RECON MISSION I FOUND A TALES FROM THE CRYPT IN A $2 BOX AND I MADE A MENTAL NOTE TO SNAG IT LATER. IT HAD VANISHED BY THE TIME I GOT BACK BUT I FOUND ANOTHER ONE SO NO HARM DONE. OH HOW I LOVE THE GNARLED VISAGE OF THE CRYPT-KEEPER, THE OLD WITCH AND THE VAULT-KEEPER ON THIS KICK-ASS JACK DAVIS COVER. YOU WANT HORROR, HERE'S A RAT IN YOUR FACE. FUCK YEAH

THE BONUS COMIC IS CRIME SUSPENSTORIES WHICH IS A HELLUVA WORD. THIS GRISLY COVER IS FROM JOHNNY CRAIG AND DOCTOR WERTHAM DOES NOT APPROVE. APPARENTLY THERE'S A CROSS-OVER FROM THE HAUNT OF FEAR TOO SO WE HAS SOME HORROR WITH OUR CRIME. GAWD I WANNA READ THIS NOW BUT I GOTTA FINISH TYPING ARGH

OH MAH GOURD IT'S ANOTHER WALLY WOOD COVER. BIG UGLY MONSTER ABOUT TO CHOMP A DUDE. MANLY MAN ZAPPING THE MONSTER ABOUT TO GOBBLE HIS BRO. STRONG ATTRACTIVE WOMAN WHO ACTUALLY HAS SOME GODDAMN SENSE HEADING BACK TO THE ROCKET SINCE THE GUYS HAVE THIS SHIT HANDLED. AND THE DILDO ROCKET GOES FWOOOOOOSH! WHY THE HELL HASN'T WEIRD SCIENCE BEEN TURNED INTO A SERIES LIKE TALES FROM THE CRYPT? THAT WOULD KICK ASS! I GUESS SCI-FI IS TOO EXPENSIVE TO PRODUCE. AT LEAST REBOOT THE 80S MOVIE. AND GENDERSWAP IT SO A COUPLE OF TEENAGE GIRL NERDS CREATE THEIR OWN CHRIS HEMSWORTH THROUGH THE POWER OF THE INTERWEBS OR SOMETHING AND MAKE A BUNCH OF JERKS CRY ABOUT THEIR CHILDHOODS BEING RUINED

INSIDE COMIC IS WEIRD FANTASY WITH THE AL FELDSTEIN COVER OF KABOOMED MANHATTAN. REMEMBER KIDS, THIS IS THE 1950S WHEN FANTASY MEANT SCIENCE FICTION. TOLKIEN HADN'T RIPPED THE TERM BACK FOR THE ELVES AND DRAGONS YET.  BUT WHY THE FANTASY, YOU ASK. WHY NOT JUST PUT THESE STORIES IN WEIRD SCIENCE WHERE THEY BELONG, YOU DEMAND. BECAUSE EC GOT TO PRINT TWO DIFFERENT COMICS FOR THE KIDDOS TO BUY, I CLARIFY. AND THE KIDS WHO HATE SCIENCE CLASS CAN BUY FANTASY, AND VICEY -VERSA. AND I GOT BOTH BECAUSE GLADSTONE REPRINTS! THEN THAT FUCK WERTHAM RUINED EVERYTHING. WELL, WE GOT REPRINTS AND MAD MAGAZINE OUT OF THE DEAL AT LEAST.

THERE WAS ANOTHER EC REPRINT IN THE BOX BUT IT WAS A SINGLE ISSUE GEMSTONE AND IT WAS LIKE A TWO-FISTED TALES OR ONE OF THE ONES I WAN'T AS INTERESTED IN AND IT GOT PUT BACK IN THE BOX WHEN I FOUND THIS HORROR COMIC FROM MARVEL THAT I HAD NEVER HEARD OF BEFORE. THE COMBINATION OF A BIG, BLOODY FEAR TITLE AND A GORILLAMAN WAS JUST TOO MUCH FOR ME TO RESIST. I ACTUALLY HAVE READ THIS ONE, AND I HAVE TO SAY DEAR READER, THAT MARVEL HORROR COMIC ARE FUCKING GOOD. FIRST OF ALL JACK KIRBY. JACK KIRBY DRAWING GORILLAMENS. HOLY SHIT. I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED JACK KIRBY GORILLAMONSTERS IN MY LIFE BUT I. FUCKING. DO. ANOTHER THING IS THAT MARVEL HORROR/SCI-FI IS SURPRISINGLY UPBEAT! I'M USED TO EC COMICS WHICH ARE GLORIOUS SOUL-KILLING NIGHTMARES AND THE SPIRITUAL SUCCESSORS AT DC, HOUSE OF MYSTERY AND HOUSE OF SECRETS, WHICH OFTEN CONTINUED IN THE EC TRADITION WHERE EVILDOERS GET THE HORRENDOUS JUSTICE THEY TRULY DESERVE AND PRETTY OK PEOPLE IN THE WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME JUST GET ABSOLUTELY WREKT IN DREADFUL WAYS AND COMPLETELY INNOCENT BYSTANDERS SUFFER THE TORMENTS OF HELL BECAUSE IT'S A HORROR COMIC FOR FUCK SAKE THAT JUST WHAT HAPPENS. IN ALL THESE STORIES, THE BAD GUY GETS THEIRS, THE GOOD GUYS END UP ALL RIGHT AND THERE'S EVEN ONE TRULY SUBVERSIVE STORY THAT WOULD FIT RIGHT IN WITH AN ORIGINAL EC COMIC OR EVEN THE TWILIGHT ZONE. FEEL-GOOD HORROR IS A NEW EXPERIENCE FOR ME AND DAMMIT I WANT MORE. I'LL BE LOOKING OUT FOR MORE MARVEL STUFF IN THE FUTURE

LOOKIT THIS AMAZING KIRBY MINDFUCK. THERE'S A LOT OF THESE SPLASH PAGES IN HERE AND I LOVE THEM SO. ONE THING I DIDN'T REALIZE ABOUT THIS COMIC WHEN I BOUGHT IT IS THAT IT TOO, IS A REPRINT COMIC. THE STORIES ARE FROM TALES TO ASTONISH, JOURNEY INTO MYSTERY AND STRANGE TALES. THERE ARE SO MANY DAMN COMICS, GUYS. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO MAKE OF ALL OF THEM AND I AM THANKFUL FOR REPRINTS. THE OTHER THING I DIDN'T REALIZE IS THAT THE BACK COVER IS MISSING SO NO GLOSSY ADVERTISEMENTS FOR ME. AND TRUST ME THE ADVERTISEMENTS IN THIS THING ARE AS ASTONISHING AS THE COMICS. THE FRONT COVER IS SO DAMN GOOD I DON'T REALLY MIND TBH

PURCHASE #4 KID STUFF!

WHITMAN BATTLE OF THE PLANETS #6

DC PLOP! #3, #5, #6

ALMOST OUTTA CASH AT THIS POINT SO I HIT THE HALF OFF BOX AND FOUND A HELL OF A LOT OF GOODIES. HONESTLY I COULD HAVE SPENT ALL MY MONEY AT THIS TABLE AND BEEN HAPPY BUT I WAS ABLE TO EASILY FOCUS MYSELF AND ONLY GET THE STUFF I TRULY COVETED. I GUSHED OVER MY LOVE OF BATTLE OF THE PLANETS LAST CHRISTMAS AND I MAY HAVE MENTIONED SOMEWHERE THAT I REALLY WANTED ONE OF THE ORIGINAL GOLD KEY COMICS FROM BACK WHEN THE SHOW WAS ON THE AIR. WELL I FOUND ONE BUT IT WAS FROM WHITMAN INSTEAD OF GOLD KEY. WHICH MIGHT BE THE SAME THING? I DON'T REALLY KNOW THE HISTORY OF THOSE TWO PUBLISHERS BUT FROM MY KIDDIE COMIC READING DAYS I RECALL THAT GOLD KEY HAD A LOT OF THE BRAND PROPERTY COMICS FROM TV SHOWS AND MOVIES AND SUCH AND WHITMAN COMICS CATERED PURELY TO THE KIDS WITH LOWBROW FUNNY STUFF THAT NO ONE EVEN THINKS ABOUT ANYMORE. SO IT KINDA MAKES SENSE FOR WHITMAN TO PUBLISH A COMIC ADAPTATION OF A MANGLED ANIME WITH AN R2D2 RIPOFF SHOVED IN CATERING TO THE AFTERSCHOOL CROWD. AND MAYBE THERE'S ALSO A GOLD KEY VERSION? DON'T KNOW DON'T CARE, I DON'T DO VARIANTS. THE COMIC ITSELF HAS ZOLTAR BEING SCARY ON A BOAT WITH A GINORMOUS EYEBALL AND THERE'S A WHALE FOR SOME REASON? BUT IT'S COLORFUL AND G-FORCE KICKS BOOTAY AND 7-ZARK-7 SHOWS UP WITH HIS ROBOT DOG SO ALL IS RIGHT WITH THIS COMIC

 PLOP! GOTTA TALK ABOUT PLOP! SO HERE'S THE DEAL WITH PLOP! DC HAD A BUNCH OF THEIR OWN HORROR COMICS IN EC STYLE, HOUSE OF SECRETS AND HOUSE OF MYSTERY STARRING CAIN AND ABEL, AND A HANDFUL OF OTHER HORROR TITLES STARRING EVE WHO GOT BOUNCED AROUND EVERYWHERE BECAUSE DC EXECUTIVES ARE A BUNCH OF MALE CHAUVINIST PIGS. THESE COMICS ARE AWESOME AND WERE SOME OF THE FIRST BIG BOY COMICS I GOT MY HANDS ON AND I LOVED THEM AND THEY ENDED UP SPAWNING SWAMP THING AND GREATLY INFLUENCING THE SANDMAN AND THOSE ARE COMIC HALL OF FAMERS SO YOU WILL SHOW RESPECT. SO ONE DAY JOE ORLANDO DECIDED HE WANTED TO DO A HUMOR COMIC SO HE RECRUITED SERGIO ARAGONES FROM MAD AND THEY GOT INSPIRED BY A STORY IN A HOUST OF MYSTERY COMIC AND CAME UP WITH THE NAME PLOP! THROUGH SHENANIGANS AND PLOP! WAS BORN. THE BASIC CONCEPT OF PLOP! IS THAT EVE, CAIN AND ABEL ARE TELLING SCARY STORIES TO PEOPLE BUT THE STORIES ARE RIDICULOUS PARODIES OF PROPER SCARY HORROR STORIES SO THE AUDIENCE GETS MAD AND THEN PLOP! HAPPENS

I GOT MY HANDS ON A FEW ISSUES SHORTLY AFTER I ORIGINALLY FOUND THE HOUSE OF MYSTERY AND SECRETS COMICS AND IT. BLEW. MY. TINY. MIND. ALL THOSE SKEERY HORRORSTORIES THAT SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH WERE BEING MOCKED? THEY WERE BEING MADE FUN OF?? LIKE MAD MAGAZINE FOR HORRORBOOKS??? THE CONCEPT AFFECTED ME GREATLY AND IS PROBABLY RESPONSIBLE FOR A GOOD CHUNK OF MY WEIRDNESS TODAY. THE MAIN STORIES  WERE DRAWN BY GUYS LIKE ARAGONES, BERNI WRIGHTSON, STEVE SKEATES AND EVEN STEVE DITKO. IN BETWEEN EACH STORY THERE WERE A COUPLE PAGES OF GAG COMICS TO BREAK THINGS UP AND PAD OUT THE ISSUE. HONESTLY MOST OF THE GAG COMICS ARE FAIRLY WEAK BUT IT STILL SURPRISES ME TO THIS DAY HOW MEAN SPIRITED AND DARK THEY ARE FOR A KID'S COMIC. OUR MAIN TRIO EXPLAIN IN GREAT DETAIL EXACTLY WHAT IT MEANT TO BE 'PLOPPED' BY MEANS OF SERGIO ARAGONES GAGS. GETTING PLOPPED COULD MEAN ANYTHING FROM HAVING BUBBLE GUM POP ON YOUR FACE TO BEING HORRIBLE KILLED IN NUMEROUS PAINFUL WAYS. IT'S IMPORTANT TO AVOID PLOP. EVERY ISSUE SEEMED TO HAVE AT LEAST A COUPLE PAGES OF PRISONER PLOPS WHICH ESSENTIALLY BOILED DOWN TO 'HA HA, THEY'RE BEING TORTURED'. LIKE SERIOUSLY, EVERY ONE, IT WAS A REGULAR THING. THE ABSOLUTE BEST THING ABOUT PLOP! ARE BASIL WOLVERTON'S MADNESS ON THE COVER. WOLVERTON DID SEVERAL INSANE COVERS FOR PLOP! AND WALLY WOOD GOT SOME WEIRDNESS ON THE COVER AS WELL. ISSUE #3 HAS A DELIGHTFUL IMAGE OF A CONGLOMERATE OF DAMNED SOULS THAT WOULD FIT IN WELL IN A CRONENBERG FILM OR AS A DARK SOULS BOSS. YOU KNOW, FOR KIDS

HERE'S ISSUE #5 OF THE 'NEW' MAGAZINE OF WEIRD HUMOR. THOSE TOENAILS ARE EASILY THE MOST HORRIFIC THING OUT OF ALL THESE COMICS. THEY HAVE TO BE. DEAR LORD THOSE CRACKS AND CREVASSES. MY KINGDOM FOR A PODIATRIST. UNLIKE COVER #3 WHICH ONLY SHOWED THE MYSTERIOUS PLOP PLOP PLOP!!! THOUGHTS OF THE COVER BOY THING WE GET AN EXPLANATION FOR OUR NAILEY BUDDY. NAILS NITTLE LOVES TO DIG! SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE! YOU CAN HEAR HIM NOW, CAN'T YOU? THE SCRAPING! THE SCRAPING!! THE SCRAPING

I.... i have no explanation for this. none. like, really, really, no fucking idea. it is utterly bewildering. i mean, not just the fact that this cover is just a homely looking girl after the previous issues were varying levels of existential horror (search for the cover of issue #2 if you dare)(or #4, uuuuggggh). not just whatever the hell is going on with her head... just what the hell is that? the exposed brains don't even phase me, but... what the hell is that thing sticking out of her head?? what does it do??? why is it there???? no, the thing that really gets me is. it's. it's that...

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DOES FLY ME, I'M JOSEPHINE MEAN?????????

WHAT EVEN IS THAT????????????????????????

it fuckin broke me man, it's like looking at cthulhu or the BLIT parrot. my mind is messed up. why? what the hell does it mean? i tried searching for it and the only thing that even is kinda related is an old ass song about flying machines. it would make sense if josephine had some wings or some shit but she has.. a head... rudder? scoop? dear lord in heaven what the hell is that thing? and a girl asking you to fly her really doesn't seem to be appropriate for a kid's comic. oh god i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and i just keep thinking about it and you know what the best part of plop! is?

THERE'S A FULL SIZE PRINT OF THE COVER WEIRDNESS ON THE BACK!

HELLO MR. CRONENBERG MONSTROSITY! YOU LOOK HORRIBLE TODAY!

HOWDY NAILS! DON'T FORGET YOU HAVE A PEDICURE APPOINTMENT THIS AFTERNOON!

HI JOS- JOS'PHEE- JO- JJJJJJJJJJ *snap*

WHYYY???

WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK????

WWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?!?!?!?!?!?!1

PURCHASE THE LAST - CHEAPO BOX WEIRDNESS

WITH MY LAST DOLLAR I PICKED OUT A COUPLE OF COMICS FROM THE 2FER A BUCK BOXES. I WAS HOPING FOR INDIE GOODIES IN THE GARBAGE BOXES BUT SADLY IT WAS ALL 100% MARVEL AND DC MEN IN TIGHTS BULLSHIT. GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU WHO ENJOY THAT STUFF BUT I JUST CAN'T. I DID FIND A COUPLE SOOPER HEEROW COMMIKS THAT WERE JUST ENOUGH OFF THE MAINSTREAM TO BE INTERESTING TO ME. A BUDDY OF MINE FOUND A MOON KNIGHT MAGAZINE WHILE CLEARING OUT HIS PARENTS' BASEMENT AND GAVE IT TO ME AND IT WAS PRETTY DOPE. I HAD NEVER EVEN HEARD OF IT BEFORE THEN BUT IT CAUGHT MY ATTENTION AND I FIGURED WHY NOT TRY OUT THE COMIC VERSION. A SPECIAL EDITION EVEN. NOT SURE WHAT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE COMIC AND MAGAZINE VERSIONS ARE OTHER THAN PUBLISHERS COULD SNEAK BOOBIES IN THE MAGAZINES. EVEN WITHOUT THE BOOBIES MOON KNIGHT LOOKS PRETTY BAD ASS FIGHTING FLAMING... KNIFE... HEAD? ON THE COVER

SADLY NOT A GIANT SIZE MAN-THING BUT I CAN GET THAT WITH A SINGLE INTERNET SEARCH. THIS IS APPARENTLY THE LAST ISSUE OF MAN-THING THOUGH? GOOD TO START WITH A SERIES ON THE LAST ISSUE I GUESS. DOCTOR STRANGE IS DEAD ON THE COVER THOUGH AND I LIKE DOCTOR STRANGE. CHRIS CLAREMONT DIED TOO? AND A WIZARD AND A BIKINI ARMOR BABE AND, US, IS THAT A SATYR? AND I GUESS MAN-THING IS TRYING TO GIVE SATAN A HICKEY? IT'S A PRETTY FUCKED UP COVER IS WHAT I'M SAYING. HAVE NEVER READ ANY MAN-THING BUT I LOVE SWAMP THING AND HOWARD THE DUCK WAS BORN IN THIS SERIES SO IT LOOKS LIKE IT IS RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS. I DUNNO IF I'LL EVER GET AROUND TO READING THE WHOLE THING BECAUSE THE ORIGINS LOOK LIKE A CLUSTERFUCK WITH STORIES IN AN ANTHOLOGY HERE AND A DIFFERENT ONE THERE BEFORE GETTING A STANDALONE COMIC AND A MAGAZINE AND THEN BACK INTO SERIALS BEFORE VOLUME 2 CAME OUT AND ENDED UP WITH THE X-MEN GUY KILLING HIMSELF OFF IN HIS OWN COMIC. JESUS CHRIST IS THERE AN OMNIBUS ANYWHERE. HOLY SHIT THERE'S A 2005 MOVIE TOO?? GOTTA FIND THAT SHIT ON DAILYMOTION OR SOMESUCH

MY LONE REGRET IS NOT PICKING UP A COPY OF TOM SCIOLI'S GO-BOTS IN THE TWOFERABUCK BECAUSE I FELT AWKWARD GIVING THE GUY QUARTERS BECAUSE I WAS DEAD BROKE. GO WATCH CARTOONIST KAYFABE, IT'S AWESOME AND A MAJOR REASON I'M READING TRASHY COMICS INSTEAD OF WRITING POSTS ABOUT BASEBALL CARDS

IF YOU WANT MOAR COMIX YELL AT ME IN THE COMMENTS AND I'LL REVIEW SOME IN MORE DETAIL. YO, THAT FEAR COMIC IS INSAAAAANE