UUUHHHHHH DIME BOX ONLINE CARDS PART 4

AAAAAAAYYYYYY ANOTHER POST. FIRST ONE WRITTEN ON THE NEW(ISH) LAPTOP. ALL THE PICTURES WERE SCANNED AND UPLOADED ON THE OLD LAPTOP BUT THE WORDS WERE TYPED UP ON THE NEW ONE. ACTUALLY IT'S BEING TYPED ON THE SAME KEYBOARD THAT WAS ATTACHED TO THE OLD ONE BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE TYPING ON LAPTOP KEYBOARDS IF I DON'T HAVE TO. ESPECIALLY THIS ONE, THE KEYS DON'T FEEL RIGHT AND I DON'T LIKE IT. CAN YOU TELL I HAVE NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT TODAY? I STILL HAVE A LOT TO DO TO GET THE NEW SYSTEM SET UP THE WAY I WANT IT BUT I'VE SCANNED ALL THE DIME BOX CARDS AND COPIED THEM OVER SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ME WAITING FIVE MONTHS TO SET UP THE SCANNER. YOU DO STILL HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ME FARTING AROUND FOR FIVE MONTHS AND NOT WRITING ANYTHING

I DON'T REMEMBER IF I MENTIONED I BOUGHT ANOTHER BATCH OF CARDS FROM THAT ONLINE SITE IN THE LAST POST BUT I DID AND I GOT THEM AND NOW THERE ARE 5-10 ADDITIONAL POTENTIAL POSTS TO SHOW OFF. THE SECOND BATCH ISN'T QUITE AS INTERESTING BECAUSE ALL THE GOOD CARDS I WANTED GOT SNATCHED UP BUT I TRIED. DON'T STEAL THE STACEY AUGMON CARD I'M WATCHING BECAUSE I WON'T BE ABLE TO BUY ANOTHER BATCH FOR A WHILE. FOR NOW I SHALL HAVE MY FUN PUTTING THE CARDS IN THEIR BINDERS AND WRITING A BUNCH OF NONSENSE ABOUT THEM. HERE COMES THE NONSENSE

ANOTHER SCRATCH OFF CARD!!! WILL WE WIN THE GAME?!??!!!!! STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT!!!!!1

2017 ALLEN & GINTER MAGICIANS & ILLUSIONISTS PAMELA COLMAN SMITH

AS I MENTIONED PREVIOUSLY, I SNAPPED UP EVERY ALLEN & GINTER MINI INSERT I COULD FIND NOT CARING IF I NEEDED IT OR NOT. SO IF YOU WERE LOOKING FOR MINIS, I'M THE JERK WHO SNATCHED THEM AWAY THIS TIME. MUA-HA-HA-HAAAAA! I GOT THREE MAGICIANS & ILLUSIONISTS AND I DON'T KNOW WHO ANY OF THEM ARE SO I AM COMPLETELY UNABLE TO WRITE UP ANYTHING INTERESTING ABOUT THESE PEOPLE. I AM DEDICATED TO YOUR ENTERTAINMENT HOWEVER SO  IN LIEU OF WITTICISMS I HAVE INSTEAD CREATED QUICKIE FIVE MINUTE SKETCHES OF THE CARD SUBJECTS. PAMELA GETS A PENCIL SKETCH

I DUNNO IF IT LOOKS LIKE PAMELA BUT IT LOOKS LIKE A PERSON SO I'M OK WITH IT. I ALSO SCANNED THE BACK OF THE CARD SO WE CAN LEARN ABOUT THESE MAGICIANS TOGETHER

WHOA! SHE DREW THE RIDER-WAITE TAROT DECK?? THAT'S AWESOME! THIS CARD WENT FROM WHO THE HECK IS THIS TO ONE OF MY MOST CHERISHED GINTER INSERTS. IF YOU'RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH TAROT CARDS THEY ARE DECKS OF CARDS USED FOR FORTUNE TELLING. THERE ARE A WHOLE LOT OF DECKS OUT THERE WITH ALL KINDS OF ILLUSTRATIONS BUT THE RIDER-WAITE DECK IS A VERY ICONIC AND WELL KNOWN DESIGN. HERE'S AN EXAMPLE OF HER ILLUSTRATION ON A CARD I IDENTIFY VERY MUCH WITH

TAROT CARDS FIGURE PROMINENTLY IN ONE OF MY FAVORITE COMIC SERIES, PROMETHEA, AND IN ONE OF MY FAVORITE VIDEO GAMES, THE BINDING OF ISAAC, SO I LIKE TAROT CARDS AND THEIR ART VERY MUCH. IT STILL KILLS ME THAT QYPSY GUEEN* STARTED DOING TAROT THEMED INSERTS RIGHT WHEN I NO LONGER HAD THE DISPOSABLE CASH TO THROW AT A GARBAGE SET LIKE QYPSY GUEEN. WHEN I SAW THIS SET OF MAGICIANS & ILLUSIONISTS I DIDN'T KNOW TOPPS MEANT ACTUAL OCCULT MAGICIANS. I WONDER IF ALAN MOORE HAS A CARD IN THE SET

2010 TOPPS YO MOMMA CARD BARRY LARKIN

MO YO MOMMA CARDS OF COURSE. I LIKE BARRY LARKIN AND THIS IS A NICE LOOKING CARD BUT IT IS A LITTLE SILLY THAT I'M BUYING A REPRINT OF A CARD WHEN I ALREADY OWN MAYBE A DOZEN OF THE ORIGINALS. HELL THE ORIGINAL ROOKIE CARD CAN PROBABLY BE FOUND IN A BUNCH OF DIME BOXES. AT LEAST I THINK SO? THERE'S A LOT OF CHATTER ON TWITTER ABOUT CARD PRICES GOING COMPLETELY INSANE LATELY. MAYBE THEY'RE IN DOLLAR BOXES NOW

2017 ALLEN & GINTER MAGICIANS & ILLUSIONISTS P.T. SELBIT

THE ONLY P.T.'S I KNOW IS BOATS AND BARNUM. THIS GUY CALLED OUT TO ME FROM THE BEYOND  FOR A CHARCOAL SKETCH

MASTERPIECE. A PERFECT LIKENESS. I LOVE NOODLING AROUND WITH CHARCOAL ESPECIALLY THE PENCILS WRAPPED UP IN PAPER WITH THE STRING TO PULL WHEN YOU NEED MORE CHARCOAL BECAUSE CHARCOAL PENCILS AND SHARPENERS DON'T PLAY WELL TOGETHER. LET'S SEE WHO THIS HANDSOME FELLOW IS AND FIND OUT IF HE'S A GOB FROM ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT ILLUSIONIST OR A SERIOUS TRAVERSING THE ASTRAL PLANES OCCULT MAGICIAN WHO COULD BE STANDING BEHIND ME RIGHT NOW

I READ HIS NAME IS PERCY TIBBLES AND HAD A MASSIVE GIGGLING FIT SO I REALLY HOPE HE'S NOT STANDING BEHIND ME RIGHT NOW WITH A POSSE OF DEMONS. SELBIT WAS THE RIGHT MOVE, BRO. HOLY SHIT HE WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO SAW A WOMAN IN HALF?? ER, THE ILLUSION VERSION AT LEAST? THAT SHIT'S ICONIC. WHEN HOUDINI GANKS YOUR ACT YOU'RE A FRIGGIN LEGEND. THIS INSERT SET IS AMAZING

2010 TOPPS YO MOMMA CARD WILLIE MCCOVEY

THIS IS THE SHIT TOPPS NEEDS TO BE REPRINTING. CRAZY SCARCE HIGH NUMBERS FROM THE 60S. LEGIT MIGHT TRY TO FIND THE ORIGINAL BACK VERSION OF THIS CARD AND SHOVE IT IN THE '63 BINDER. MCCOVEY HAS ALWAYS BEEN ONE OF MY FAVORITES MAINLY BECAUSE HE IS IN THAT GROUPS OF AWESOME HALL OF FAMERS FROM THE 60S WHOSE CARDS WERE CHEAP AS HELL BECAUSE ALL THE MONEYBAGS COLLECTORS WERE DRIVING UP PRICES ON MANTLE, MAYS, CLEMENTE AND KOUFAX. GIMME THEM MCCOVEYS AND STARGELLS AND YASTRZEMSKIS AND JENKINS AND CEPEDAS AND MARICHALS AND KILLEBREWS IN THE BARGAIN BINS. NOT ANYMORE THO, EVERYTHING'S EXPENSIVE AS FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU

2017 ALLEN & GINTER MAGICIANS & ILLUSIONISTS HOWARD THURSTON

LET'S SEE IF WE'RE THREE FOR THREE ON BAD-ASS WIZARDS. I USED A THIN FELT MARKER ON THIS ONE. I HATE MARKERS BUT NEED TO GET OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE OCCASIONALLY

TRIED TO CAPTURE THE SPOOKY LOOK ON THIS DUDE'S FACE. LET'S SEE WHAT THIS INTENSE MOTHERFUCKA DID WITH HIS LIFE

DISAPPEARING HORSES AND PERFORMING THE INDIAN ROPE TRICK FOR MIDWESTERN RUBES. NOT A BAD WAY TO SPEND THE '20S. MUCH BETTER THAN THE WAY WE'RE SPENDING OUR '20S. I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT SPOOKY THURSTON, BUT THERE WAS A GREAT TALES FROM THE CRYPT COMIC ABOUT A MAGICIAN WHO WENT ON A TRIP TO INDIA TO LEARN STEAL NEW TRICKS FOR HIS ACT. HE SWIPES A MAGIC ROPE FROM A STREET MAGICIAN AND BEING AN EC COMIC THINGS GO VERY VERY BADLY FOR HIM. THE STORY WAS USED IN THE FILM THE VAULT OF HORROR WHICH IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE HORROR ANTHOLOGY FILMS AND CAN BE FOUND PRETTY EASILY ONLINE

1992 KELLOGG'S JIM PALMER

FINDING KELLOGG'S CARDS IN DIME BOXES AT CARD SHOW IS LUDICROUSLY DIFFICULT AS IT IS, FINDING ONE IN AN ONLINE DIME BOX THAT HAS ALREADY BEEN RAVAGED BY COLLECTORS AND FLIPPERS SHOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE. OK, SO IT'S LATER YEAR SPORTFLICS AND NOT THE '70S HOTNESS BUT THE CARD IS LENTICULAR WHICH IS ALL THAT MATTERS. IT'S NOT IN 3D BUT SINCE THE PICTURE MOVES AND IT LOOKS LIKE JIM IS THROWING A PITCH IT'S KINDA IN 4D

SUPER LOVE THE BACK. TWO COLORS, WHO NEEDS MORE? WHY DOES TWO COLOR BACKS LOOK LIKE ASS ON PANINI PRODUCTS AND LOOK WONDERFUL HERE. WE ARE BLESSED WITH A GRAINY BLACK & WHITE PHOTO OF JIM. PURE ART. A WHOLE BOOK'S WORTH OF INFORMATION ABOUT PALMER'S CAREER IS SQUEEZED IN THE BACK OF THE CARD. AND THIS ISN'T A FULL SIZED CARD, EITHER, THEY CRAMMED ALL THAT IN ON A SLIGHTLY SMALLER THAN STANDARD CARD. YOU WANT STATS? THERE'S HIS WHOLE CAREER ON ONE LINE . ALL THE STATS, INSIDE LITTLE BOXES. EVEN ALL THE LEGAL NOTICES AND MANDATORY LOGOS LOOK ELEGANT. THIS CARD BACK LOOKS LIKE IT'S FROM 1962, NOT 1992. CAN'T DO THAT NOWADAYS UNLESS YOU SWAP THE PLAYER BIO WITH THE COPYRIGHT AND LICENSING GARBAGE

2017 ALLEN & GINTER REQUIRED READING THE ILIAD

BOOK CARDS! NO, NOT THE STUPID EXPENSIVE ONES WITH CHONKY RELIC PATCH CARDS AND AUTOGRAPHS CONNECTED BY THIN STRIPS OF PAPER THAT YOU'D THINK WOULD RIP AFTER A WHILE. JUST A CARD. OF A BOOK. TEN YEARS AGO I WOULD HAVE COMPLETELY LOST MY SHIT OVER THESE BUT NOW MY EYESIGHT IS SO GARBAGE THAT I CAN BARELY SEE THE WRITING, LET ALONE READ IT. IT MIGHT AS WELL BE IN GREEK

WAIT WHAT

AT SOME TIME IN MY LIFETIME THE NAME HOMER STOPPED BEING ASSOCIATED WITH AN EPIC GREEK POET AND STARTED BEING ASSOCIATED WITH A BALD YELLOW ANIMATED IDIOT WITH BUG EYES. THAT'S AS GOOD A EXPLANATION OF CURRENT AMERICAN SOCIETY AS ANY I GUESS. I HAVE NEVER READ THE ILIAD BUT I AM VERY FAMILIAR WITH THE CLIFF'S NOTES VERSION. NEVER PISS OFF A GODDESS, KIDDOS. A KEY CHARACTER IN THIS TALE WILL SHOW UP IN THIS SERIES OF POSTS SOON

2015 TOPPS GOLD ATLANTA FALCONS 0409/2015

A FOOTBALL CARD! A RARE OCCURRENCE AROUND THESE PARTS LATELY. I AM ON RECORD AS BEING COMPLETELY DONE WITH THE NFL AND TOPPS LOSING THE LICENSE IN 2015 IS ONE OF THE REASONS. ALTHOUGH I HAVE TO ADMIT TOPPS' SWAN SONG FOR FOOTBALL IS AN ABSOLUTELY GARBAGE POOP DESIGN. I KNOW EVERYONE LOVES TO CRAP ON THE TOPPS FLAGSHIP BASEBALL DESIGNS SINCE 2016 BUT AT LEAST NONE OF THEM HAVE BEEN AS BAD AS THIS. YOU THINK THE 2021 DESIGN IS TOO BUSY, LAY YOUR PEEPERS ON THIS MADNESS

TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY THERE IS NOT A FLAKE OF GOLD FOIL ON THIS GOLD CARD OTHER THAN THE TOPPS LOGO. IT MAY AS WELL BE A YELLOW PARALLEL IF NOT FOR THE NUMBER ON THE BACK

I HATE THE NEW-FANGLED PRINTING OF SERIAL NUMBERS ON TOPPS CARDS. HOW WAS THAT PRINTED, AN INKJET?? I LIKE THE OLD-SCHOOL GOLD FOIL NUMBERS. THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE TO BE THE BIG CHONKY NUMBERS LIKE ON THE EARLY DONRUSS INSERTS, I'M FINE WITH THE SMALL ELEGANT NUMBERS YOU USED TO SEE ON HERITAGE INSERTS. NEW CARDS MAKE ME SAD. JUST LIKE THE FALCONS. I DO ENJOY THAT THE FALCONS' HIGHLIGHT OF 2014 IS BEATING THE SAINTS' ASSES. HONESTLY THAT'S BEEN THE ONLY HIGHLIGHT THE FALCONS HAVE EVER HAD

2017 ALLEN & GINTER REQUIRED READING MOBY DICK

CALL ME MR. GROUCHYPANTS

THIS CARD FRONT IS HONESTLY THE MOST I'VE EVER READ OF MOBY DICK AND I HAVE NO PLANS TO READ IT IN THE FUTURE. DUDE GETS SUPER BUTTHURT ABOUT A WHALE, I GET IT. I KNOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO ONE OF THE GREATEST NOVELS EVER WRITTEN BUT BY THE TIME I GET THE TIME TO READ ACRES OF PAGES EXPLAINING 19TH CENTURY WHALING TECHNIQUES IN INTRICATE DETAIL I WILL BE EITHER STONE BLIND OR DEEP IN THE THROES OF DEMENTIA OR DEAD. OR ALL THREE AT ONCE. NO TIME FOR GIANT TOMES ANYMORE. IF I WANT TO BE PISSED OFF AT A BIG FAT DESTRUCTIVE ANIMAL THAT CAUSES HAVOC AND SUFFERING EVERYWHERE HE GOES I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD REAL LIFE EXAMPLE TO FOCUS MY ENERGY ON RIGHT NOW. THAT BEING SAID, BARTLEBY THE SCRIVENER HAS BEEN ON MY RADAR FOR A WHILE. I SHOULD REALLY TAKE THE TIME TO READ THAT

LOOKING UP THIS CHECKLIST TO SEE WHICH BOOKS ON THEIR REQUIRED READING LIST I'VE ACTUALLY READ.

[time passes]

NOPE, NOPE, YEP, OH NO, HELL NO, NOT THE ACTUAL TEXT BUT 20,000 REWORKINGS, REALLY??, NAH. NO. NOT THE WHOLE THING BUT A GOOD CHUNK OF IT, CLIFF'S NOTES, WHAT???, THE EXPURGATED FOR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL KIDS VERSION, I LIKE THE SANDWICH, HAVE SEEN EVERY FILM ADAPTATION MAYBE I SHOULD READ THE BOOK

LOTTA WHITE DUDES ON THIS LIST. WHERE'S THE MINI  CARD SET FOR STUFF FROM JAMES BALDWIN OR TONI MORRISON OR CHINUA ACHEBE

OH WAIT, THOSE BOOKS ARE STILL IN COPYRIGHT, NEVERMIND

2019 ALLEN & GINTER HISTORY OF FLIGHT WRIGHT FLYER

ONE OF MY FAVORITE ALLEN & GINTER INSERT SETS IS THE ASCENT OF MAN SET FROM 2011. A 26 CARD SET OF FULL-BLEED ARTWORK THAT ALL CONNECTED INTO ONE GIGANTIC CARD IF YOU PUT THEM TOGETHER. IT'S ONE OF THE FIRST GINTER INSERT SETS I COMPLETED AND I EVEN FOUND A 1952 LOOK N SEE CARD OF CHARLES DARWIN TO PUT IN THE LAST CARD POCKET IN THE BINDER. IT WAS SO GOOD TOPPS TOOK 8 YEARS TO DO ANOTHER SET LIKE IT

IT'S A GREAT LOOKING SET, BUT IT AIN'T NO ASCENT OF MAN. ONLY 15 CARDS AND THE HISTORY OF FLIGHT ENDED IN THE LATE '80S. STILL PRETTY NICE THOUGH. I REGRET NEVER PULLING ONE FROM A PACK. I REGRET NEVER OPENING A PACK OF 2019 GINTER, BUT THAT'S A DIFFERENT STORY. WITH THIS CARD I HAVE AT LEAST ONE FROM EVERY GINTER FULL SIZE INSERT SET.

EXCEPT THE HORSES ONE FROM 2019

HOW DOES I HAS NO HORSES

NO TIME FOR REGRETS, IT'S TIME TO SCRATCH

I MADE A POINT! 40 THOUSAND MORE OF THESE AND A TIME MACHINE AND MAYBE I CAN GET A FOOTBALL. I NEVER SENT AWAY FOR THE PRO-SET GAZETTE WHEN I WAS A KID ADULT. I WAS TECHNICALLY AN ADULT BY THEN. LEGALLY AT LEAST I THINK.WHY DIDN'T I SEND AWAY FOR ALL THE FREE SHIT BACK THEN. STAMPS WERE CHEAP AND THE POST OFFICE WASN'T BEING MURDERED IN BROAD DAYLIGHT. WHAT A FOOL I WAS

A FOOL!

NEXT TIME: THE CARD THAT MADE THIS ALL POSSIBLE

*IF YOU HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT THE BIT YET, I'VE SPOONERIZED THE NAME OF THIS TRADING CARD SET FOR YEARS BECAUSE THE FIRST WORD IN THE NAME** IS WIDELY CONSIDERED TO BE A SLUR NOWADAYS AND WHY TYPE OUT A SLUR IN A BUNCH OF YOUR BLOG POSTS IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO? ALSO SAYING QYPSY GUEEN OUT LOUD STILL MAKES ME LAUGH YEARS AFTER I STARTED THE JOKE BECAUSE I AM A CHILD
**THE SAME WORD AS THE TITLE OF A VERY POPULAR FLEETWOOD MAC/STEVIE NICKS SONG THAT I STILL ENJOY BECAUSE I'M A BIG HONKIN' HYPOCRITE

AND A FOOOOOOOOL