BIRTHDAY BOOLSHEET BLASTER: PART 5 - RANGERS

MY SCHEDULE HAS BEEN HECTIC LATELY SO THIS ONE IS GOING OUT WITH NO PROOFREADING, ENJOY THE EXTRA TYPOS

WORLD CHAMPION TEXAS RANGERS IS A VERY STRANGE PHRASE FOR ME BECAUSE I STILL THINK OF THEM AS THAT HAPLESS TEAM FROM THE 80S WITH THE ARBY'S HAT LOGO. THERE ARE 77 CARDS IN THIS PILE, LET'S SEE IF THERE'S ANYTHING GOOD

ONLY ONE 1987 TRADED CARD OF MIKE STANLEY IN THE PILE, CONFIRMING THAT THIS IS NOT A COMPLETE SET. I'M STILL INTERESTED TO SEE HOW CLOSE I GET, AND MORE INTERESTED IN SEEING HOW MANY OF THE SEVENTY OR SO CARDS I STILL NEED ARE IN HERE

1987 TOPPS TRADED COUNT: 9/132

NOT A WHOLE LOT OF 2002 CARDS EITHER, ONLY 16 NOT COUNTING DOUBLES. THE BIG NAMES ARE GABE KAPLER AND HANK BLAYLOCK PROSPECTS CARDS. SEE WHAT I MEAN ABOUT THE RANGERS? THEY WERE BAD FOR A LONG TIME

2002 TOPPS COUNT: 37/718

A BIG PILE OF 2002 FLEER TRADITION SHOWED UP UNEXPECTEDLY. THIS IS GOOD BECAUSE I STILL NEED A BUNCH FROM THIS SET.  I NEEDED EXACTLY ZERO OF THESE CARDS. FLEER TRADITION WAS IN ITS RIP OFF OLD SETS PHASE OF EXISTANCE AND WAS DOING A 1934 GOUDEY THING.THEY PULLED IT OFF REASONABLY WELL BUT THE TINY AMERICAL FLAG ON EVERY CARD IS STILL A BIZARRE RELIC OF THE TIMES

MOAR PACIFIC 7-ELEVEN CARDS. ROBERTO KELLY ONLY PLAYED ABOUT HALF A SEASON WITH THE BRAVES BUT DUE TO HIM BEING INVOLVED IN TRADES WITH DEION SANDERS AND MARQUIS GRISSOM HE'S BECOME A BRAVES LEGEND IN MY MIND

THESE RECORD BREAKER CARDS HAVE THE SAME BACK DESIGN AS THE CARDS YOU CUT OFF THE BOX AND IT'S CONFUSING THE HELL OF ME WHEN I LOOK AT THIS CARD. MY BRAIN INSISTS THIS IS A BOX CARD BUT IT'S OBVIOUSLY A NORMAL CARD AND NOT EVEN THE SAME SIZE AS THE BOX CARDS. THIS IS JUST ONE OF MANY DATA POINTS CONFIRMING TO ME THAT MY BRAIN HAS GONE WRONG IN THE PAST FEW YEARS

THESE SHOWDOWN CARDS WERE FRIGGIN EVERYWHERE IN 2000 AND ONCE WIZARDS OF THE COAST FIGURED OUT THEY COULDN'T MILK THEM LIKE MAGIC: THE GATHERING FOR CONSTANT PROFIT THEY GOT DROPPED LIKE A HOT ROCK. THESE FIRST EDITION CARDS ARE STILL PRETTY COMMON FINDS IN JUNK BOXES. I CANNOT REMEMBER HOW TO PLAY THE GAME BUT I DO REMEMBER CLEARLY THAT THE POINTS SEEN UNDERNEATH THE POSITION WERE A SORT OF SALARY CAPFOR YOUR DECK SO YOU DIDN'T CRAM TOO MANY GOOD PLAYERS IN. I'M NOT SURE HOW ACCURATE THIS GAME WAS AS A BASEBALL SIMULATION BUT IT WAS GOOD FOR ALL THE BABY GENERAL MANAGERS OUT THERE

JON MATLACK HAD A PRETTY INTERESTING TOPPS RUN OF CARDS AND THIS 83 CARD SHOWING OFF HIS HIGH LEG KICK IS ONE OF THE BETTER ONES. IT'S NO 1982 TOPPS THOUGH

IT'S STILL WILD TO ME THAT UPPER DECK MADE A DEDICATED INSERT SET BASED ON ESPN HOSTS IN 1997. CABLE NETWORKS WERE SUCH A BIG DEAL IN THE 90S. I COULDN'T TELL YOU THE NAME OF A SINGLE SPORTSCENTER HOST NOWADAYS. IS SPORTSCENTER EVEN STILL ON THE AIR? 

MAYBE THE EXACT MOMENT SCORE JUMPRED THE SHARK. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE THOUGHT PROCESS WAS TO MAKE THE UPDATE SET TO THEIR VERY CLASSY UNDERSTATED BLUE BORDERED FLAGSHIP RELEASE LOOK LIKE THIS. IT'S NOT EVEN THE COLORS! WHY IS THAT ODD ETCHED-LOOKING PATTERN ON THERE? EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS JUST SO WEIRD. COMPUTERS MIGHT HAVE BEEN A MISTAKE, Y'ALL

AAH, A NICE CARD. THIS STUDIO DESIGN WITH THE PORTRAIT IN FRONT OF A LOCKER IS VERY UNIQUE. A LITTLE BUSY PERHAPS, BUT UNIQUE. I'LL ALWAYS LOVE KENNY FOR HIS NLCS-ENDING SHRIMP

THE IMMORTAL JULIO FRANCO LOOKS GREAT ON THIS CHECKLIST CARD PAINTED BY VERNON WELLS. 1990 UPPER DECK DOESN'T GET A LOT OF LOVE FROM ME BUT THIS ONE IS AN EXCEPTION

HOORAY! DIE CUT SHINY FOIL PACIFIC CROWNS! I'M NOT SURE WHY PACIFIC DECIDED THAT VERTICAL CROWN CARD = INSERT AND HORIZONTAL CROWN CARD = BASE SET CARD BUT THEY PAID A MILLION BUCKS FOR THE DIE SO THEY CAN DO WHAT THEY WANT. I HAVE DIFFERNEING FEELINGS ON THESE TWO PLAYERS AS WETTELAND SHOVED IT UP THE BRAVES' ASS IN THE 1996 WORLD SERIES AND I GOT A SOUVENIER CUP WITH RUSTY GREER'S FACE ON IT WHEN I WENT TO A GAME AT ARLINGTON ONCE. I REALLY LIKE THE SHINY DIE-CUTTIES AND THERE ARE QUITE A FEW MORE TO COME IN THE BOX

FINALLY WE HAVE THE ALSO-RANS AND SADLY THERE WERE NONE NEEDED OFF OF MY WANT LIST. EVEN MORE TRAGICALLY, DUE TO AN ACCIDENT WHERE THE ENTIRE PILE OF DOUBLES ON MY DESK GOT KNOCKED OVER ALONG WITH A DRINK AND THEN RUN OVER WITH AN OFFICE CHAIR (INSERT BENNY HILL MUSIC HERE) I GOT COMPLETELY FED UP AND THREW THE WHOLE PILE INTO THE BIN. A 1989 TOPPS RUBEN SIERRA WITH A CHAIR ROLLER CREASE ACROSS THE FACE CAUSED ME TO SNAP AND I MAY HAVE OVERREACTED. I HAVE SOME REGRETS NOW ESPECIALLY AS I LOOK AT OIL CAN HERE BUT THIS MAY HAVE BEEN THE BEST MOVE FOR  MY SANITY AND I NEED TO CONSIDER DOING THIS GOING FORWARD. IF I DO FINALLY START CHUCKING THE CHAFF I WILL DEFINITELY BE A LITTLE MORE PICKY ABOUT WHAT GOES INTO THE DISCARD PILE. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO YELL AT ME AGHAST IN HORROR/EXCITEDLY ENCOURAGING IN THE COMMENTS TO SAVE/KILL THE FUTURE JUNK

Dime Box Kryptonite #3 - Showdown Shinies

My Top 20 Card Show finds post #13 has gotten ridiculous, so here's some more filler for you all while I finish it up. I'll try to have it done by tomorrow so you can waste a portion of your Friday morning on it.

For now, here's another thing that I absolutely cannot pass up when perusing a cheapo box. My first two posts on my utter weakness in the face of cards probably rang true to many of you. There are lots of collectors out there who like the Retro. Many people love the minis. Hardly ANYONE will identify with this post. For I am completely incapable of passing up...

MLB SHOWDOWN FOIL SHINIES

Over/Under on readers who know what the hell this stuff is is around 30%. I'll take the under. In 2000, Wizards of the Coast tried to take their wildly successful CCG concept and leap into the baseball card market. This had been done a couple of times before with the most spectacular flop coming from 1995 Donruss Top of the Order. At that time WotC was the CCG King and they thought they could storm into the market with a collectable baseball card game. Nope. They promoted the hell out of it and probably sold a lot in 2000, but each year the sales dwindled and it was dead pretty quick.

This Cal Ripken Jr. foil shiny card (and it is shiny, the scan doesn't do justice) if from the first set in 2000. Note the Edition 1 stamp at the bottom corner. This is to show that this is a card from the initial printing and thus, will eventually be rare when they have to reprint zillions of Unlimited editions of this card due to popular demand. This was a common trick in CCG sets to get you do buy cards as quickly as possible at the beginning of the release instead of waiting 6 months when the packs were all in the clearance bin because the new series (Limited Edition!) came out. While Limited Edition is always music to collectors' ears, this sucker is a holographic foil short print card inserted something like 1:27 cards. That's right, the odds were listed by the card, not by the pack. When I snagged this card from the dime box, I showed it to Chris Harris. "Hey! A foil Showdown card of Cal Ripken Jr.!" His response: "That and 50 cents gets you a cup of coffee." That's preposterous! I dare you to find a cup of coffee under a buck nowadays. Double DOG dare you.

While a product that combines baseball cards and a collectible card game is a good idea in theory, in practice it will almost always fail. This is why: People who collect baseball cards usually don't care a whit about playing games with the cards. People who play CCGs generally don't give a crap about sports. Now, there is a very small sliver on the Venn diagram of those two groups of people who like both, but it's not enough to support a product. And even the ones who get into it ultimately end up disappointed. The card collectors are frustrated because all the really good players in the set are short printed foils like this one. Old School Strat-o-Matic and APBA gamers are peeved because it's impossible to put together teams and leagues when a quarter of the cards are still missing after ripping two boxes. Hardcore CCGers just want to be able to have Pedro Martinez shoot a Fire Blast at Barry Bonds. Actually, I want that too.

Failed product or not, if I see one of these forgotten and unloved Showdown cards alone in the wild I feel compelled to take it home and have it join its friends in an official 2000 Showdown collector box with Chipper Jones on the front. And how can you pass up a shiny Cal! It's not possible. You have to buy the shiny Cal. It's the right thing to do.

The shiny Freddy Garcia... I ... I can't rationalize that.

Oh, if you want to actually play the bloody came it goes something like this:

Take the batter's On base number and add it to the pitcher's Control number.
Roll a 20 sited die.
If the result it lower than or equal to the sum, use the pitcher's card. If it's higher, use the batter's card.
Roll a 20 sited die again.
Look at the chart on the card to determine the result.
EXAMPLE:
First roll is an 8. That means you look at the pitcher's card.
Second roll is a 16. That means Cal flew out.
Cal demands a rematch.
This time he rolls an 18, so you look at Cal's card this time.
Second roll is 16 again. Double for Cal!

Then there are defensive bonuses, and speed ratings and innings pitched counts and team building points and a bunch of Strategy cards which make things really really complicated. Just play Strat-o-Matic.

Oh, look. Speak of the Devil...