Five cards I found while sorting my Braves box

I have no idea what these were doing in a Braves box. I also have no idea why I'm so unorganized. I also have no idea what to write about today so here ya go.

Here's a Wall Climbers card of Ichiro from 2011 Gypsy Queen. This set may have been the beginning into my descent into Cardboard Ennui. I had been wanting a proper Gypsy Queen/Old Judge set for years (although I originally thought Upper Deck would be the one to do it) (No, 2005 Origins was NOT what I wanted) but when it came out I didn't go quite as crazy for it as I thought I would. Don't get me wrong, I still bought up a bunch of rack packs and blasters, I just didn't go completely overboard like I usually did. I didn't even put the set into a binder. That reminds me, my 2011 Allen & Ginter set is STILL not bindered. What the hell happened to me?

Of note - The stealth Best Buy ad up in the corner. I wonder if Topps is getting kickbacks for that?

Blast Blew Ribbon Beer! The beer that made Milwaukee burp! Considering I practically learned to read on Mad Magazine it's somewhat surprising I don't have a gigantic pile of Wacky Packages cards in my collection. It was just a matter of timing for me. I was too young to collect cards in the '70s and when I was in full cardboard hoarding mode in the '80s, Garbage Pail Kids were the ones to have. The one time I came across some old Wacky Packages cards when I was a kid, the dealer wanted a quarter a pop for them, which was way too much for me back then. Now they just sort of pop up in random trade packages here and there. I could use a case of BBR right now to guzzle while I listen to In My G4 Over Da Sea to earn my screwball hipster badge.

Here's a 1990 Classic card of Slammin' Sammy Sosa. This set is in the running for most early '90sish card design ever. I'm not sure if this is an 'official' rookie or not. There's a 1989 Donruss Baseball's Best card of Sammy which is just as legitimate a set as Classic is. Remember, Classic is a trivia game, not a baseball card set somehow. Yes, shenanigans also abounded in the trading card industry 20 years ago. To a much greater extent than today if you can believe it. It doesn't really matter because this card got creased all to hell in an *ahem* cleaning accident of which I shall not speak of in this forum. I'm going to make the best of it by turning it into an art card. I just need to figure out how to turn Sammy into a pony.

I have no idea how this card got into my collection I SWEAR. Actually I do, it was inside one of the weirder grab bags I've ever seen. A mixture of junk, vintage, promos and bootleg cards. This was one of the promos. Apparently there was a 1993 Portfolio set featuring purdy gurls in bikinis. Is there an online collecting community for these types of cards like with baseball cards? Actually I don't even wanna know. I've been around the interwebs long enough to know it can't possibly be a good idea to go looking for that.

Yep, random 1987 Donruss Opening Day Barry Bonds rookie in the middle of a Braves box for no discernible reason. I don't know what that is on his cap, must have been a toenail on the scanner or something. This one got put into a toploader or else it would have suffered the same fate as the Sammy. Which is almost a shame, because I can actually think of a couple ways to deface this one and turn it into an art card. It's only like a three dollar card now anyway, maybe I should just go for it.

The Kid Who Could - Page 2

After a one page setup we jump straight into the plot. There's also a surprise on this page!

Peter hotfoots it over to a remarkably diverse collection of children. there's even a girl playing baseball! Imagine that! Kellogg's is apparently a really progressive company, or at least was back in the early '90s. In panel two we meet Peter's co-star, Andrew. I'm eventually going to get around to all the hideous clothes these urchins are wearing, but once again I feel it necessary to harp on a haircut.

Is there not a single barber in this town? Half these kids have a bowl cut and Andrew here is sporting a particularly egregious Moe haircut. With all the diversity going on I originally thought Andrew was the token Asian character, but the colorer but a stop to that by slapping blue eyes on the kid. Don't worry, there's a girl with a black ponytail on page 7 so this comic was able to get their diversity certificate.

Once the writers have established the main characters they pounce on the conflict. No J Michael Straczinski style dialogue where the heroes talk things over for several issues, this is a one off that needs to be wrapped up in 16 pages. "Can I play?" No, you're too little" WHAM - CONFLICT. Right there on page two, panel four and we're off. The panel is a little squicky to me though, the layout looks like a scene from a coming of age gay porno on Lifetime. Comic artists are notorious preverts like (don't click on these links, they're disgusting and NSFW) Bill Ward, Wally Wood and Rob Liefeld, so I'm pretty darn sure this was intentional.

Even worse is Juan's showing up to play literally seconds after Andrew dismisses Peter because he's too short. "But Juan always plays with us..." Then why didn't you say that instead of  "Sorry kid, we need a player but Juan always takes his time getting here. Tell ya what, we'll wait a few minutes if he doesn't show up you can play. Oh wait, there he is now!" Ah, but if Andrew didn't expose his sizeist bigotry Tony the Tiger wouldn't have shown up. No, that's not the surprise I promised you. Tony's on the cover, that's no surprise. The surprise is Juan:

To make the baseball scenes as realistic as possible, DC hired a few up and coming major leaguers to appear in the comic. Have you guessed who's playing the fashionably late Juan yet?

That's right, Sammy Sosa. Why wound a Cubs legend allow himself to be seen in a comic featuring Cardinal Ozzie Smith? Remember, he did this back before he was traded to the Cubs. He's not proud of it, but he was young and needed the money. Good thing he put on glasses to fool everyone.