Obligatory Handegg Post

Woooo! Superb Owl day! What a great day of Football! Arsenal beat Crystal Palace two-nil! And a Falcon got elected to the Hall of Fame! Let's take a look at some Claude Humphrey cards, because the Big Game sucks worse than the halftime show!

A little contest for Supa Bowel Sunndae

I was going to simply ignore our Great National Holiday this year as I do not care for either team involved and I'm on a bit of an anti-commercialism kick right now. However, yesterday I stumbled across the book up above and I got an idea for a post. A post about poopin'.

Don't give me that look. You do it, I do it, Presidents do it, ponies do it, every member of the Giants and Patriots do it, I'm pretty sure Snoopy even did it once or twice. When I do it, I like to have a little reading material. No novels, I can't read War & Peace on the can. Magazines are no good, not even those kind of magazines. I can handle a bathroom trivia book occasionally, but I get bored with pretty quickly. Nope, I like to read cartoons on the can. Even when I'm eyeballing a Playboy on the crapper I inevitably end up reading the cartoons.

The current pile of 'toons I've had in my personal conference room recently is as follows: The Complete New Yorker cartoons (which is really too damn big to be reading on the john), a Far Side compilation, Hark, A Vagrant!, an old RAW with a bunch of artsy fartsy 'toons and a book on international comics that has too many words and not enough pictures. Didn't know I had a library in my bathroom, did ya? You could have lived a hundred perfectly happy and contented lives without knowing my bathroom habits, couldn't ya? Well, here is my problem: I've read all them already. What can I say, I have a healthy digestive system. Yesterday I decided I wanted something new and grabbed that Snoopy paperback off the bookshelf so I had something new to peruse while doing God's business. I found a surprise inside the book:

I have no idea why there were 1983 Topps Football cards of Ron Jaworski and Joe Theismann inside an old Snoopy paperback from the '60s. I would say there's pretty good chance that I used them as bookmarks for some reason to mark a couple of comics. Whether I did that recently or when I was a kid, well, who knows. It was a pleasant surprise, even though I don't much care for the players. I got a reminder about how much I like the '83 Topps football set. The backs are as good as the front!

That may be the best back design Topps ever did in a football set. To celebrate the first happy feelings I've had toward football in a couple months and today's Orgy of Capitalism, I'm going to share the wealth and hold a little contest.

To enter, post a comment with:
Winning team
Points scored by the winning team
Person who picked the winning team and was closest to their score gets these two cards and a bunch of other football stuff I want out of my house (seriously, just football).
You can enter up until I get off work tonight, which will probably be before Halftime, I hope.
IF somehow there is a tie, you will have to fight to the death the pain.
Keep it simple, stupid!

SECOND CHANCE CONTEST!
Include in your post the phrase:
"I'll make you a pony"
And I'll do a random drawing for another package of football crap I want out of my house. You can put your name into the hat for this one any time tonight.
THE CATCH: if you win you must be willing to make me one (1) Art, featuring one (1) Pony.
Doesn't have to be a drawing, doesn't have to be a My Little. Just create any art that vaguely resembles anything horse-like and be willing to send it to me in exchange for Feetsbowl cards.
If you're not willing to do this, don't include that phrase, because I will hunt you down like that kid in Bettter off Dead. 

There was actually a football cartoon in the book too! I'm still trying to figure out how to post it though.  I'd have to break the spine to scan the thing and I don't want to completely wreck the book just for one scan. I took a picture of it but it's not readable. I'll try to post it later if I can figure out what to do.

If you want some Football cards, get a commentin'...

If you can read this, the contest is closed. You may offer me ponies or mock said ponies for as long as you like.

The Contestants:


Patrats:
carlsonjok - 42
Captain Canuck - 38
Greg Zakwin - 35
Spiegel83 - 28
Jason - 26
Jeremy - 21


Gnats:
Slangon - 35
Eric L - 31
Kazi - also 31? I guess he wants to fight Eric
The Diamond King - 30
Anonymous - 26

I have not watched one second of the game so far. Gotta hunt down some food first.

Ok, so I turn on the game to check the score and see... Madonna. I must be really old because I actually liked the halftime show. When LMFAO popped up and did their entire discography in 12 seconds I L'dMFAO.

Things look good for Jeremy and Anon right now. There's still a half to go though.

I finally started paying attention to commercials. The Fiat commercial made me feel funny in my tummy. Aren't those things made by Chrysler now?

Oh yeah, Deion Sanders has a unicorn at his Century 21 open house. Awwwwww yeaaaaaaah! Prime Time is best pony.

Oh yeah, check this out:

These are the ads that popped up in my e-mail when I was looking at the comments for this post. Nordic ponies, irritable bowels and recycled cardboard. That's practically this blog's mission statement.

Manningham caught his, the Patriots dropped all theirs. The friggin' "in the playoffs by the skin of their teeth" Giants won another one. Blecch.

Giants 21 - Patriots 17

The winner:

Anonymous!

I'll e-mail Mr. Anon this evening, and if I can get my act together might even do the randomization for the Pony Artistes too. Bye Bye Football. See you in six months. When do pitchers and catchers report again?

Return of Sticky Saturday - Handegg edition

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

STICKAHS!

LOGO STICKERS KICKASS!!!

SHINY TONY YEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!!!

MIIIIIIIIIIIIICHAAAAAAEEELLLL JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENKINS!!!

not sure why he's in over Jason Snelling but YEAAAAAAAH NORWOOOOOD!!!

North Texas? The Super Bowl's in Oklahoma this year?

Thoughts on the first half

I know, I know, Still no Obak video. I'm working on it.

Anyway, there's a game going on. My thoughts:

Helluva drive by Peyton.

The Saints got smacked in the mouth and came right back up fighting.

Some of these commercials are scaring the crap out of me. I will not sleep well tonight.

Peyton can't beat the Saints if he doesn't have the ball.

Payton with an A is playing to win. Good for him.

The Who are basically CSI's theme song right now and that makes me sad.

Whoops, second half's starting, cards upcoming.

Kickoff - HOLY CRAP. GIANT SWINGING BRASS BALLS. Who Dat?

Ok. Cards now.

I looked around for a decent half price football blaster and found bupkis. UD Icons = bupkis as far as I'm concerned. I went to plan B and taveled to the flea market to pick up a dollar football brick. One problem: a few weeks ago there waqs a fire at the flea market. I didn't think much of it. It turned out to be in Card and Porn Museum with the dollar bricks' building. So he's gone, status of inventory is unknown. This made me very sad. I could have picked up a $10 junk wax rack thingy but decided not to waste my money. Got a couple of retail packs of Chicle to go with my Hobby pack instead. I'll be showing off the cards over the next few days. Here's three interesting ones that don't fit my plans for future posts.

Matt Forte Jersey

Got this in the Hobby pack. The shop owner gave me a weird look when I asked if this guy was any good. Hey, I've been out of Fantasy football for two years now. I just don't know these things anymore. Will trade for any relic with "Atlanta" on it. Except Thrashers. That's another post.

Bazooka Joe Back

Are there any normal minis in this set?? Out of three packs I got two Joes and a gold border. Weird. I'd like to see an Umbrella one though.

Amelia Earhart ERA ICONS

All three packs had one of these inserts and after the first two I was pretty pissed about it. This one I have no problems with. I'm a sucker for girls on cards though. Someone else posted the relic version with a stamp on it. Very nice-a.

Ok back to eating ribs and drinking bourbon and cokes while watching the game finishing that video!

End of quester three:

THIS IS A GREAT GAME!

Cheap bourbon is soooo much better with Coke.

NFL: to the greatest fans EVAR, Thank you.

HOW ABOUT THANKING US WITH A COLLECTIVE BARGAINING AGREEMENT YOU GREEDY FU%#&RS

Whoops, shoulda started Viniateri, Coltsies.

HOLY CRAP CHOCOLATE RAIN DURING THE SUPERBOWL! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Whoi Daaaaaaaaat! Conversion missed.  Last team with the ball wins this one.

In other news my 3 year old daughter is apparently a Saints fan. Not sure how to feel about that.

OVERRULED!!!! CONVERSION GOOD! THE SAINTS AREN'T CURSED! THERE'S HOPE FOR MY FALCONS!

PICK SIX!!!!!!! HOLY BLEEPING BLEEEEP!!!!


MARDI GRAS HAS STARTED EARLY THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!111

TOM BENSON DANCES TONIGHT!!!! 


BOURBON STREET WILL ROCK FOR WEEKS!!!!!


WHO DAT!!!!!!!

WHO DAT

NFC SOUTH REPRESENTIN' BEEYOTCHES!

Supa Bowel Repack Insanity! FINALLY FINISHED!

YAY! I'm done with football for several months!!! The game is pretty kick ass so far, what an interception return. One more TD by the Steelers and I can finally pass out. Let's kill this box.

Last Bonus card:
2008 Press Pass Matt Ryan insert of some sort

Yeah, so this is the real reason I bought this repack thing. I wasn't doing it for you at all. Just Matty and a box to put all my 2009 Topps cards in.

Ninth Pack:
2007 Topps

224 Sean Taylor (RIP)
413 Champ Bailey All Pro
433 Peyton Manning Postseason Highlights
53 Jamal Lewis
7 of 20 Rookie Fantasy Challenge of some Lion
97 Najeh Davenport
325 Robert Meachem RC

Ut, we got a Steeler in the pack! That's a touchdown since some guy on the AJC Falcons message boards calls himself Najeh Davenpoop and it makes me laugh. I don't reccommend reading the AJC Falcon blogs however, you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villiany than in that comment section. The rest of the pack ain't bad either.

Completely Scientific Score Prediction: Cardinals 6, Steelers 20 after the ninth drive

Last Pack (thank the maker):
2007 Topps Draft and Prospects

81 Owen Daniels
25 Santana Moss
36 Warrick Dunn
151 Antonio Pittman RC Chrome
139 Darius Walker RC

Yay! Warrick Dunn! I'm finished with this thing! Hooray! No points for anyone!

Completely Scientific Score Prediction: Cardinals 6, Steelers 20 GAME OVA

Supa Bowel Repack Waste of Time! Third Quarter

YEEEEEHAW! People are lovin' this feature! I think I've got negative hits for the day.

Third Bonus card:
1991 Score Matt Behr

I loved the hell out of Score football. Now it just looks weird. The Steelers will probably have to eat a point somewhere for the Browns anti-mojo.

Sixth Pack:
2007 Bowman

266 Jordan Kent RC
254 John Bowie RC
244 Justin Durant RC
255 Brian Smith RC
46 Brian Westbrook
38 Maurice Jones-Drew
11 Brett Favaruh
151 Anthony Gonzalez RC Gold parallel
BC25 Clark Harris RC Chrome
BC3 Courtney Taylor RC Chrome

Lots of Jaguars in this pack. And some quarterback who won't retire. This is the first Bowman set I've seen in a while that didn't use the Red/Green/Blue border motif. All red here. No points, The Cards and Steelers are still dazzled by Bruce.

Completely Scientific Score Prediction: Cardinals 6, Steelers 13 after the sixth drive

Seventh Pack:
2007 Topps

17 Some Lion
13 Drew Bledsoemuchheneededatransfusion
190 Bobby Wade
BF-193 That Farve guy again
Checklist 3 of 3
156 Chris Chambers
315 Ahmad Bradshaw RC

This is one of those 6 card packs they put into blasters to fool you so you'd think you were getting more packs. Brett and Bledsoe are great pulls, well, if it was 1998. I saw Willie Parker on the checklist, so I'm giving the Steelers an extra point which is immediately taken away by the Browns connection up above.

Completely Scientific Score Prediction: Cardinals 6, Steelers 13 after the seventh drive

Seventh Pack:
2007 Topps Total

There wasn't anything worth a flip in this pack. Just trust me on this one.

Completely Scientific Score Prediction: Cardinals 6, Steelers 13 End of the Third Quarter

Supa Bowel Repack Ripping Par-tay! Second Quarter

Ugh! Why am I doing this? I'm already bored with this! Why am I not posting 2009 Topps packs?? This is stupid! Stupid American Capitalism Holiday!

Second Bonus card:
2008 SaGe Hit Silver Foil parallel

Woooo! (there's that word again!) Adrian Peterson parallel thingy! I say again, Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Fourth Pack:
2007 Score

1 Tony Romo
28 Santana Moss
45 Some Lion
61 Aaron Rogers
38 Bernard Berrian Gold Parallel 100/600
337 Isaiah Stanback RC
68 E.J. Henderson Glossy crap

See, even Tony Romo goes Wooooo! WOOOOOOOOOOOO! No Pittsburgh or AZ players in here but Bernard Berrian's card is a Gold parallel, and Gold is a metal and Steel is also a metal, to the Steelers get a field goal. Science!

Completely Scientific Score Prediction: Cardinals 6, Steelers 6 after the fourth drive

Fifth Pack:
2008 Upper Deck Draft Edition

46 Jamaal Charles RC
80 Shawn Crable RC
248 Matt Ryan and Chris Long Conference Clashes insert or short print or parallel or something
SOD8 Antone Cason Stars of the Draft
110 Ray Lewis
163 Drew Brees

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Matt Ryan insert or short print or parallel thingy!!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I love this set. The college uniforms and logos rock, the design is just goofy enough to be good and it's better than the Hits and the Press Passes for a college set in my opinion. I'm going to go out right now and buy every blaster of it I see. Oh wait! There aren't any mreo! I waited too long! HaHA! My plan worked. There's an Arizona Wildcat in the pack, but the birdies let the hometown hero go to San Diego, so the Steelers get a touchdown. Shut up! This is not your Scoring System!

Completely Scientific Score Prediction: Cardinals 6, Steelers 13 End of the half

Supa Bowel Repack Ripping Par-tay! First Quarter

Wooooooo!!1 (I've been saying wooo a lot lately) Feetsbawl is on today! The Big Game. I've had a pretty crotchety view of the NFL this year but this is like America's version of a High Holy Day so I have to do something or the government will carry me off for reprogramming. Don't worry, corporate overlords! I've spent the requisite amount on chips, beer, chili, tabasco infused roasted peanuts and other assorted snackable things. I'm even going to celebrate by opening up of of those Wal-Mart Cube Repack Thingies that I love so much. Junk Football wax, bay-bee!! Depending how I feel I might even liveblog the bloody game since I'm sick as a dog and can't actually go out and have fun or anything. Not that the Super Bowl ain't fun! No, the commercials are quite entertaining. The game, well... holy crap it's gonna stink. Cardinals may eat Eagles, but pour some molten iron on the suckers and they're gone in a puff of feather ash.

The box had 10 packs and four cards in it. I'll break this rip up into four quarters to be topical and stuff. Enjoy it, it's likely the last you'll see of football until at least late April. I guess I'll try to predict the game or something with Cardinal and Steeler cards. I'll make up the point scale as I go along.

First Bonus card:
2008 SaGe Hit Paul Raymond Silver Foil parallel

Paul didn't play a down for the Jets this year, but is still on the team with a reserve contract. On the bright side, he has a degree from Brown and a ood future ahead of him on Wall Street. Um... I feel sad now. Note: do not Google "Paul Raymond", Google "Paul Raymond Jets" or "Paul Raymond NFL". You'll get something other than football and you'll likely end up missing the game.

First Pack:
2008 SaGe Hit High Series

89 Josh Johnson
100 Darren McFadden
96 Mike Jenkins
97 Dustin Keller
55 Teammates Brian Brohm and Michael Bush
68 Devin Thomas glossy parallel

We've got a pair of Raiders running backs in here. The both couldn't combine for 1000 yard though. Weirdly, the Keller and Brohm/Bush cards are on much whiter card stock than the other cards. No Steelers or Arizona Cardinals in the pack though. There are Louisville Cardinals in the pack, so I'll give 'zona a field goal.

Completely Scientific Score Prediction: Cardinals 3, Steelers 0 after the first drive

Second Pack:
2007 Score

299 Buster Davis RC
315 David Harris RC
222 Marvin Harrison
239 Daryl Smith
297 Dan Bazun RC
345 Mike Walker
174 Eric Barton glossy parallel

Dan Bazun is an awesome name. The first Cardinal shows up in this pack, but Buster was cut and signed on with the Colts as a linebacker. I'll give 'em a safety just because of the name Buster. The Steelers get a field goal because Marvin Harrison has Abs of Steel. Hush, this is Science! Three rookies in a pack is kind of cool but I hate these stupid glossy parallels with a passion.

Completely Scientific Score Prediction: Cardinals 5, Steelers 3 after the second drive

Third Pack:
2007 Topps Total

77 Antonio Gates
69 Jonathan Vilma
392 A buncha Lions
545 Aaron Rouse RC
448 Jordan Palmer RC
162 Shaun Phillips/Randall Godfrey Red parallel
AW11 Jason Taylor Award Winner
90 Neil Rackers/Scott Player
168 Isaac Bruce
120 Dunta Robinson/Dexter McLeon
Turn Back the Clock Ad

Ugh, I hate this set. It's ugly and stupid and way too green and is hard evidence that Topps is purposely sabotaging everything I love. Two more Cardinals on one card. Rackers kicks an extra point to make that safety into a field goal, and Player punts this possession. No Stillers in here so they end the first quarter in a deficit.

Completely Scientific Score Prediction: Cardinals 6, Steelers 3 End of First Quarter

Super Bowl Cards

I love old Topps Super Bowl Cards. Here's a few of them that I have.

Still the only undefeated team.

Nice shot of Terry Bradshaw.

Rumbling Riggins running through the Dolphin line.

Plunkett hands off to Allen. Great picture.


Classic pose by Wendell Tyler.

McMahon hands off to... Matt Suhey? Damn Topps, there wasn't one photo of Sweetness in the archives?

Ok, this card doesn't fit the old cardboard motif of the rest of the ones on this page. Even the foil is that Holographic stuff. It's still my favorite Super Bowl card.