Tournament of Gimmicks - TEH CHAMPEENSHIPP

Tournament of Gimmicks Final
2007 Topps #40 Jeter/Bush/Mantle
2008-09 Upper Deck Yankee Stadium Legacy
See Results

Vote for the worst gimmick of all time!

Yankee Tedium Lunacy

VS

2007 Topps Derek Jeter

My God, what a choice!

Tournament of Gimmicks - FINAL FOUR - Semifinals

National Semi-Final #1
#1 2008 Topps #FS1 Kazuo Uzuki
#4 2007 Topps #40 Jeter/Bush/Mantle
See Results

National Semi-Final #2
#3 "Franken-Cuts"
#1 2008/09 Upper Deck Yankee Stadium Legacy
See Results

The Champions:

Burdick Region:

2008 Topps Kazuo Uzuki

Beckett Region:

Franken-Cuts

Berger Region:

Yankee Tedium Lunacy

Olbermann Region:
2007 Topps Derek Jeter

Voooooooote!!!!1 Do it noooooow!

Tournament of Gimmickry - Olbermann Region Elite Eight

I got so caught up in ZOMG STAMPS R SO CEWL that I forgot to post the Olbermann region finals. 

4) 2007 Topps #40 Jeter/Bush/Mantle

Dumb.

vs

2) 2008 Upper Deck Documentary

Dumber. 

Vote for the worst! You have about 16 hours to go! 

Tournament of Gimmicks - Olbermann Region Sweet Sixteen

Three out of four left in this region are from 2008. That was the Golden Age of Gimmickry.

Game #1

1) 2008 Topps #661 Johan Santana "No-Hitter"

I hereby give each and every one of you permission to print out this image, glue it to the back of a 2008 Updates and Highlights Johan #UH330 card, and stick it in your now-completed set. No one will ever know care.

VS

4) 2007 Topps #40 Jeter/Bush/Mantle

It is impossible to overstate the massive collateral damage this card has done to the hobby. Gimmick? Check. Mickey Mantle Madness? Check. President where he doesn't belong? Check. Yet another overpriced Yankee card shoved down the hobby's throat? Check. Not short printed for maximum exposure? Check. This is the perfect storm of gimmicks.

Game #2

2) 2008 Upper Deck Documentary

I honestly have nothing to say about this dreadful, dreadful set. I think you can get hobby packs for about a quarter nowadays. They are still overpriced.

VS

6) 2008 Upper Deck Presidential Predictors #PP7 Hillary Clinton (Morgana)

The Cinderella of the region. I'm desperately trying to think of a suitable joke here that isn't sexist. Aw screw it, the card was pulled for just that reason anyway. Hillgana may not be able to squeeze those feets into a glass slipper, but she sure as hell has a nicer rack than Cindy. Bippety Boppity Boobs! Ok, so I'm a pig. Oink.


Vote for the worst and may the lousiest gimmick win!

Tournament of Gimmicks - Olbermann Region Second Round Results

Results courtesy Jeffrey Wolfe who is actually paying attention unlike my slack azz.

1) 2008 Topps #661 Johan Santana "No-Hitter" 34 votes (52%)
8) 2005-08 Topps Barry Bonds Home Run History 31 votes (47%)

2) 2008 Upper Deck Documentary 36 votes (56%)
10) 2007 Topps Generation Now 28 votes (43%)

3) 2009 Topps Heritage #83 Derek Jeter "Red Sox" 28 votes (44%)
6) 2008 Upper Deck Predictors #PP7 Hillary Clinton (Morgana) 35 votes (55%)

4) 2007 Topps #40 Jeter/Bush/Mantle 40 votes (64%)
12) 2001 Pacific Manny Ramirez "Corked Bat" 22 (35%)

Tournament of Gimmicks - Olbermann Region Round Two

Round two is upon us. Be sure to vote in the Berger, Burdick and Beckett brackets.

Game #1

1) 2008 Topps #661 Johan Santana "No-Hitter"

The 2008 Set Killer completely rolled over John Littlefield as expected. How many of you had even heard of that card before anyway?

VS

8) 2005-08 Topps Barry Bonds Home Run History

Ok, so I screwed up last time and said the Mickey Mantle cards pre-dated the Bonds atrocities. Can you blame me for purging this set from my mind?

Game #2

2) 2008 Upper Deck Documentary

Yep, I'm recycling the images because I'm lazy. I've got a pack of this crap around somewhere but I don't have a clue where the hell it is.

VS

10) 2007 Topps Generation Now

The only positive thing I have to say about this set is that its extreme awfulness seemed to shock Topps out of the mirror mentality they were stuck in. Now they're in earth friendly recycle mode.

Game #3

3) 2009 Topps Heritage #83 Derek Jeter "Red Sox"

I don't really have anything more to say about this card so I'll just say this: Why the hell is is so difficult to create a Blogger post in Chrome when they are both part of Google?? Seriously, I've had root canals less painful than trying to copy and paste a dang image in Chrome.

Eh, it's still less crashy than Firefox lately.

VS

6) 2008 Upper Deck Presidential Predictors #PP7 Hillary Clinton (Morgana)

I'm gonna come right out and say it now, Hillgana is my pick to make the Final Four. This is such a perfect friggin card (epic badonkadonk on the Secretary of State) that got screwed up so badly. I still get a tear in my eye thinking about it. *sniff*

Game #4

4) 2007 Topps #40 Jeter/Bush/Mantle

Ok, fine. The man was president. He can be on a card if he wants to. But why that picture?? Why make him look like a total doof? Like a rube jumping up and waving to the camera while the poor saps behind him miss Derek's wild flailing at a breaking ball. If Topps was trying to make the president look like a fool, they just should have went with this picture and done it right.

VS

12) 2000 Pacific Manny Ramirez "Corked Bat"

From a view ruiner (you thought I was gonna say something else, but nuh uh) to a company ruiner. Fake or no, this would have been a pretty funny card had relic cards not been so new. We were already skeptical of these newfangled lumber scraps back in the day and a bat that wasn't genuine without a shadow of a doubt was just not acceptable. We're all completely used to all the shenanigans nowadays, sadly.

Go out and vote! May the worst gimmick win!

Tournament of Gimmicks - Olbermann Region First Round Results

Every year a twelve seed beats a five. Time to play for the Sweet Sixteen.

1) 2008 Topps #661 Johan Santana "No-Hitter" 61
16) 1982 Fleer #576 John Littlefield RevNeg 15

8) 2005-08 Topps Barry Bonds Home Run History 57
9) Allen & Ginter Rip Cards 22



2) 2008 Upper Deck Documentary 45
15) 1995 Stadium Club Ring Leader Phone Cards 28

7) 1998-2000 Topps TEK 34
10) 2007 Topps Generation Now 45


3) 2009 Topps Heritage #83 Derek Jeter "Red Sox" 39
14) 1997 Pinnacle Inside (Cards in a can) 38

6) 2008 Upper Deck Predictors #PP7 Hillary Clinton (Morgana) 57
11) Pacific Card-supials 20


4) 2007 Topps #40 Jeter/Bush/Mantle 41
13) 2008 Topps #234 Red Sox "Rudy Giuliani" 36

5) 1998 Zenith "Dare-to-Tear" 31
12) 2001 Pacific Manny Ramirez "Corked Bat" 46


I'm not 100% sure if I'm even doing this right, I think the first round ended prematurely... No matter, second round match up polls will be up sometime tonight.

Go Vote for Gimmicks

But only the bad ones. My second round polls will be up tonight. In the meantime go vote for

Berger

Burdick

and Beckett


Video courtesy the other Card Junkie...

First Round Matchups: 3 vs. 14 and 4 vs. 13

Game #5

3) 2009 Topps Heritage #83 Derek Jeter "Red Sox"

In 1960 Topps produced three "proof" cards of players who were traded in the offseason that had the player's previous team's logo on them. To commemorate these cards turn their history into a cynical money grab, Topps made some ultra-rare variations including this one of a player who has never played a single inning for the Red Sox and never ever will.

VS

14) 1997-8 Pinnacle Inside (Cards in a can)

When Pinnacle was getting really deep into the death throes of needless gimmickry, they came up with the ingenious idea of putting flat, rectangular baseball cards into a round, cylindrical can. The idea was that grocery stores could stack their baseball cards on an endcap, thus using about 10 times the space for an item that wasn't going to make them all that much money anyway. As an added bonus, the kiddos could all cut the crap out of their fingers on the jagged lid of the can when they opened it!

Game #6

4) 2007 Topps #40 Jeter/Bush/Mantle

One of the most insidious gimmicks ever. Take a wildly popular player, photoshop in one overused baseball legend, slap on a goofy picture of the President and voila! Instant collector madness. Remember, folks, this wasn't a short print, this was Jeter's base card. Not even a variation, this was it. The damn thing was still selling for big bucks.

VS

13) 2008 Topps #234 Red Sox "Rudy Giuliani"

Anyone sick of the goddamn Red Sox and Yankees yet? What does this even mean? Rudy's from New York. The Red Sox are from Boston. Manny has an albino squid eating his head. I think Lady Gaga is in the middle of the pile somewhere.  Add the wretched Topps photo-killing logo bump scraping Rudy's knuckles and you have an exercise in lunacy.

First Round Matchups: 5 vs. 12 and 6 vs. 11

Game #3

6) 2008 Upper Deck Presidential Predictors #PP7 Hillary Clinton (Morgana)

2008 was the year of politics invading every facet of pop culture, especially baseball cards. Topps kicked off the election year with some reserved portraits of Presidential contenders, while Upper Deck got illustrator Court Jones to do some humorous caricatures of the candidates using baseball themes. this card of Hillary Clinton as Morganna the Kissing Bandit was easily the funniest of the bunch, so of course Upper Deck pulled it from the set as too controversial. Even more controversial was that Upper Deck 'accidentally' let some of the cards sneak into packs, thus creating a super rare gimmick. Whoopsy!

VS

 

11) Pacific Card-supials

Pacific was well known for having the most whiggetywhack inserts around, but this one was strange even for them. The concept: An insert card of a star player. Ok, that's normal. The twist: There's also a teeny tiny miniature version of the insert card. Ok, still not too weird. The bizarre: The mini card was randomly inserted into a pouch on the back of the card like a card kangaroo complete with joey. And not always the same player, either. What were they smoking up there in Seattle??

Game #4

5) 1998 Zenith "Dare-to-Tear"

One of Pinnacle's last gasps in the card market was to take a once decent high end product and turn it into a gimmicky product that asked collectors to destroy the cards they just bought. Each pack of Zenith had three 5x7" cards that had a standard 2 1/2 x 3 1/2" embedded inside it. You could keep the card intact or rip the sucker in half (likely trashing the standard sized card in the process) to gamble that you got something better inside. Never mind that a well placed slit with an Xacto knife would get you your card while keeping the large one presentable, the instructions in the pack encouraged you to tear that sucka.

VS

12) 2000 Pacific Manny Ramirez "Corked Bat"

While Zenith was the final flailings of a doomed company, this card may have actually ruined Pacific brands. When this Manny Ramirez bat card surfaced out of a pack of 2000 Invicible (irony meter pegged) people were astounded that a real Manny Ramirez bat could have what appeared to be a piece of cork in it! Manny and the Players' union were astounded as well, and forced Pacific to admit that they had gotten the bat from a third party and could not prove the authenticity of the piece. Soon after, Pacific's baseball license went the way of the dodo.

Vote for the worst in the polls on the sidebar and may the lousiest gimmick win!

First Round Matchups: 8 vs. 9 and 7 vs. 10

I'll kick off the Olbermann bracket with some mid level matchups.

GAME #1

8) 2005-08 Topps Barry Bonds Home Run History

Fresh on the heels of the Mickey Mantle Mirror Monstrosity that no one wanted, Topps decides it would be a brilliant idea to make an even BIGGER set with a player who is more loathed than loved.

VS

9) Allen & Ginter Rip Cards

 Allen & Ginter hit the hobby in 2006 like a ton of bricks. Great looking cards, awesome inserts, autogamers galore... and these things. A rip off (pun intended) of 1998 Zenith "Dear To Tear" cards, these low numbered inserts could be left minty fresh or could be shredded to get what was most likely an extended series mini card. Don't count on an autograph or sketch card, dealers could pick those out quite easily with a flashlight before putting the rest on eBay. 

GAME #2

7) 1998-2000 Topps TEK

This super premium release from Topps was a 90 card set... with each card having 90 different variations. That's an 8100 card set for all you completists out there. But wait, there's more! Each card and variation had a Diffraction parallel version! The 1999 and 2000 versions had their checklists cut in half with less variations but were no less confusing.

VS

10) 2007 Topps Generation Now

Another entry into Topps Mirror-crazed inserts from the late '90s, Generation Now took a good idea (featuring young up-and-coming stars) and screwed it all up with a ton of cards that looked all alike.  Player collectors had to deal with tracking down a few dozen cards of David Wright or Curtis Granderson while people who just didn't care ended up with a bunch of cards that were all the same save the number of steals or doubles. To add insult to injury, Topps did the set the right way as bonus rookie cards in K-Mart blasters.

Vote for the worst over on the sidebar and may the lousiest  gimmick win!

The Inaugural Tournament of Gimmicks

BURDICK REGION
To be hosted by: Stale Gum

1) 2008 Topps #FS1 Kazuo Uzuki
2) Manufactured Letter Patches
3) 1989 Fleer #616 Billy Ripken "Fuck Face"
4) 2008 Topps Updates & Highlights "Upside-Down" Longoria, Bruce, and Fukudome
5) 2010 Topps Yankee Pie-in-the-Face
6) 1996-97 Pinnacle Mint
7) 2008 Topps Heritage #201 Johan Santana "Mets"
8) 2009 Upper Deck #855 Ken Griffey, Jr. "20X"
9) 2008 Topps Alex Rodriguez Road to 500
10) 1998 Pinnacle Multi-Stat-Backs
11) 2009 Topps Heritage #102 Adrian Gonzalez "Rangers"
12) 2001 Donruss "1999" & "2000" Retroactive
13) 1992-93 Triple Play
14) 1995-98 Leaf Materials inserts
15) 1994 Upper Deck Diamond Collection (Regional Distribution)
16) 1994 Score Rookie/Traded September Call-Up Redemption Card

OLBERMANN REGION
To be hosted by: Cardboard Junkie

1) 2008 Topps #661 Johan Santana "No-Hitter"
2) 2008 Upper Deck Documentary
3) 2009 Topps Heritage #83 Derek Jeter "Red Sox"
4) 2007 Topps #40 Jeter/Bush/Mantle
5) 1998 Zenith "Dare-to-Tear"
6) 2008 Upper Deck Presidential Predictors #PP7 Hillary Clinton (Morgana)
7) 1998-2000 Topps TEK
8) 2005-08 Topps Barry Bonds Home Run History
9) Allen & Ginter Rip Cards
10) 2007 Topps Generation Now
11) Pacific Card-supials
12) 2001 Pacific Manny Ramirez "Corked Bat"
13) 2008 Topps #234 Red Sox "Rudy Giuliani"
14) 1997 Pinnacle Inside (Cards in a can)
15) 1995 Stadium Club Ring Leader Phone Cards
16) 1982 Fleer #576 John Littlefield RevNeg

BECKETT REGION
To be hosted by: The Card Junkie Jeff Wolfe

1) 2008 Topps Heritage #440 "Jon" Smoltz
2) 2007 Topps Updates & Highlights #SQ1 Poley Walnuts
3) "Franken-Cuts"
4) 2006 Topps #297 Alex Gordon
5) 1933 Goudey #106 Napoleon Lajoie
6) 2007 Topps Updates & Highlights #312 Joba Chamberlain "Astros"
7) 2010 Upper Deck Double-Take Variations
8) 1996 Finest (Fractured Base Sets)
9) 1998 Pacific Aurora Cubes
10) 1986-90, 1994-96 Sportflics
11) 1982 Fleer #438 "All" Hrabosky 5' 1"
12) 2001 Sweet Spot #JIS Ichiro "Game-Used" Jersey
13) 1995-99 Finest peel-off protectors.
14) 1999 Topps #220 & #461 Mark McGwire/Sammy Sosa
15) eTopps
16) 1995 Topps D3


BERGER REGION
To be hosted by: Hand Collated

1) 2008-09 Upper Deck Yankee Stadium Legacy
2) 2010 Topps Milton Bradley (Scoreboard Abe)
3) 2001 Donruss Elite Extra Edition $5.99 Redemption Cards
4) 2007-08 Topps Moments & Milestones
5) 2009 Topps Target Throwback/Wal-Mart All-Black Blasters
6) 1998-2000 Skybox "Gangsta" Text
7) 1989 Upper Deck #413 Dale Murphy RevNeg
8) 2008 Bowman Chrome #155 Kosuke Fukudome No AU
9) 2008 Topps Kosuke Fukudome "Japan"
10) 2007 Topps Updates & Highlights #100 Jacoby Ellsbury
11) 1997-98 Leaf Fractal Matrix
12) 2009 Topps Heritage #70 "Thom" Glavine
13) 2008 Topps #AS Arnold Schwarzenegger (2012?)
14) 2006 Topps #RC1 Alay Soler
15) 1969 Topps #653 Aurelio Rodriguez
16) 1988 Topps Bigs