Every Baseball Card Collector Should Have This Card In Their Collections

All of you should have this card.

ALL OF YOU.

No Exceptions.

1987 Topps Bip Roberts Rookie Card

IT DON'T COST BUT FOUR CENTS, FOLKS.

Ten cents if it's totally mint.

Super Advanced Collectors can opt for the 1986 Topps Traded XRC.

Some of us, however, require a card with just a little bit extra.

Do any of you have an Official 1/1 Scott Crawford Bip Roberts Rookie Art Card?

Didn't think so.

Card of the Year: 2010

This was going to be part of a larger, Oscar-themed post with my favorites from 2010. However, I never got around to writing it and the Oscars are going on now so it's post it now or bust. If you're really interested, here's what I thought about 2010:

Best Product: Obak
Best Rookie: Chrome Jason Heyward
Best Base card: I don't have a clue. I told you the post wasn't finished.
Best Insert card: A&G UK Bulldog
Best thing to happen to the hobby: Yo Momma Transmogrifier (shaky implementation, but it's still fun)
Worst thing to happen to the hobby: Exclusive license (WHERE THE FUCK IS MY 2010 GOUDEY???)
Schadenfreude of the Year: Topps putting their all their eggs in Steven "Glass Elbow" Strasburg's basket
Lifetime Achievement Award: Thorzul for the innovation of Bipping
Best Actor: Colin Firth (I haven't seen The King's Speech, but he was fantastic in Fever Pitch)
Best Actress: Betty White
Best Picture: The only two movies I saw in the theater in 2010 were Harry Potter Wanders Around In The Woods Acting Really Pissed Off For Two Hours While Horrible, Terrible Things Happen All Around Him and Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Someone pick up that goddamn cheese already! These movies were respectively extremely depressing and bloody awful so fuck it. THE BIG LEBOWSKI
Best Album: Arcade Fire - The Suburbs (I didn't even like Arcade Fire before that album)
Best Song: Antione Dodson - Bed Intruder Song (No, I'm not kidding)

No, I'm not going to make a lot of funny comments on each of those choices, the days of me writing like a madman because I'm wired out of my mind on 3 hours of sleep and enough caffeine to kill a horse are over. I will take the time to show off this card, which I think sums up the year 2010 perfectly.

2010 Card of the Year:

1989 Topps Traded Bip Roberts

You didn't know Bip got traded to the Braves for about a week and a half in the 1988-89 offseason did you?  He was returned to the Padres for violating Russ Nixon's strict "no sombrero" policy. This more than anything else resulted in Russ' eventual firing. Hey look, here's the back.

This looks totally legit! It even mentions the first person who was Bipped with this particular card 21 years later. Yes, I was Bipped with Bip.

A Brave Bip at that. Ok, so the card isn't strictly real in the generally accepted sense. Reality is for fascists. This is the work of Steve over at White Sox Cards. He sent me a massive bipping package and I ended up screwing up the best post on the event. Frankly, I don't understand why people keep reading with how badly I've sucked at everything card-related lately. Steve has his revenge at least.

First Bipping of 2011

UPDATE: Justin of Justin's World actually did the Bipping. I goofed.

Jeremy of No One's Going To Read This Blog bipped me with a mess of '88 Donruss when he sent his payment for the Smallest Group Break Ever. The interesting thing about this bippery: there were only two cards of each player. Thirteen pairs of '88 Donruss cards. Now, according to the generally accepted guidelines agreed upon by the more bellicose members of the blogoshpere, a proper Bipping consists of at least 5 cards of one particular player. More informal rules state that a large amount of cards in multiples of three can also be an effective Mini-Bipping. Thirteen pairs of two has never been done before. However, much like Shwartz' breach of protocol by going straight to the Triple Dog Dare, I believe this is surely a True and Successful Bip simply because of this one fact:

Any sufficient quantity of 1988 Donruss is a Bipping in and of itself. 

Do you want to receive any 1988 Donruss? Most experienced collectors have at least two shoeboxes worth of this stuff down in the basement or shoved in a closet somewhere. Even people who only collect high end autorelics and graded cards still find 1988 Donruss cards lying around inexplicably amongst their collection every so often. 1988 Donruss is the baseball card equivalent of weeds, they just show up all of a sudden and don't go away. I think there is a printing press in Waukegan, Illinois that has been running non-stop for 23 years still printing up this set.

Bravo Jeremy Justin, you've not only provided my first Bip of the year but added an important corollary to the Rules of Bippery.

The Revenge of the Son of the Southside Bipper

Steve gets particularly vicious this time around. He first tries to soften me up with some Chippers before landing the blow.

Here's Chipper smiling in happier days. He probably likes the way the foil words rubbing up on his crotch feels.

A Dick Perez sketch of Chipper from A&G. Anyone critisizing the quality of the sketch needs to realize that this image of the sketch is actual size. It's not easy to paint something that good on a tiny little card. Anyone criticizing Topps for leaving the 1/1 designation on the one per pack insert may carry on.

Here's the First Edition version of the 2007 Upper Deck card seen above. Not only is there a different photo on the front, but there is a different photo on the back for both cards as well. It's times like these I really miss Upper Deck.

Aaaaaaand now I don't miss them anymore.

Here's a 2007 Opening Day insert of Chipper that would have looked 1000000% better if it wasn't on foilboard. Foilboard cards have been totally unneccessary since about 1997.

Cool! A spanish version Super Estrellas Chipper. This was a nifty set and at one time you could find boxes of them for 10 bucks at Wally World.

85 hits, 98 runs and 126 hits. The cool thing about Moments and Milestones is that since I am the only one in the blogosphere who admits to liking the set, everyone keeps sending me their M&M cards. I might actually be able to complete one of these ridiculous runs of Chippers one of these days just through blind aggregation.

Now I REALLY don't miss Upper Deck. Sweet Jesus, Spectrum sucked. Who puts Kim Kardashian in a friggin baseball card set?!?


Ok, here's where Steve decided to get cute.

WAR OF NORTHERN AGGRESSION BIPPED

Ah, William Tecumsah Sherman. Acworth's best.

November 1864. Princess Elisabeth of Hesse and by Rhine was born that month.

"Little Shanty" We only do Big Shantys around here.

Burned to the Ground! in red sharpie to indicate FIRE!!!

How quaint. A "You Southerners Got Pwned 150 Years Ago" Bip. I would feel remiss if I did not point out a certain fact.

My city got totally burned to the ground by these guys:

The United States Army. The finest fighting force the Earth shall ever know.

Steve's city also got burned to the ground. By one of these:

Us: defeated by large numbers of invading troops. Ya'll: defeated by a malcontented ungulate. Just sayin'.


Th-th-th-th-th-th-th-that's not all, folks. One more post of Biptitude and we can all go home.

PANINI'D

I finally worked up the courage to open that ominous lumpy package Chris Harris sent me in retribution for getting Bowman Bombed. Inside was....

PANINI

Oops, wrong Panini. I meant baseball Panini.

NO. WRONG. This Panini:

Chris sent 219 1990 Panini baseball stickers. Loose. All just floating around everywhere in the package. Sure, they're stickers, so who really gives a crap if they're getting dinged up all over the place but still. This is not something you do to someone who is twitchy about cards. 120 of them were unique, the rest were doubles, triples, and in one case sextuples.  There is a problem though.

I do not have a 1990 Panini Sticker album.

I got no clue what to do with these things. I guess I could hunt down an album. Let's try it now. Google "1990 Panini Sticker Album" and see what comes up. Well, I can get a Little Mermaid or Talespin album for $4.49. eBay's not much better. I could get a 1990 Topps album and a buncha packs for twenty bucks. Wait, here's a Panini album! ...pre-stuck. Well drats. It doesn't matter anyway because once I do get my hands on an album, the stickers are all American League.

Yep, not one national leaguer in the bunch. Retribution is one thing but this is just dastardly.

Chris made up for it by including some World Cup stickers mixed in with all the mess.

Georgia is a vast wasteland of football stickers so these more than make up for the Bippery. I'm allowing myself to stick one group a day so tomorrow I will get to not stick my Steven Gerrard sticker because I've already got that one. I miss the World Cup. I'm ready to move to Europe just for the World Cup Adrenalyn cards.

Also included is another reminder that Chris want's me to sign up for this time sin when I'm barely maintaining this blog and....

Jefferson Burdick has a POSSE. Awww Yeaaaah.

Now I need to plan my next move. I have all the time in the worid to concoct the perfect scheme. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Ut Oh...

Retribution was swift.

Anyone care to guess what Chris Bip-bombed me with? Hint - the package is fairly lumpy.

The Southside Bipper Strikes Back

So the lovely little package sent to me by Steve of White Sox Cards turned out to be a dirty Bip. A dirty PHILLIES Bip no less! There were still plenty more cards in the box, so I moved past Steve's little joke and found some neat goodies.

Here's an Upper Deck First Edition insert of Smoltzie. Being a retail-only product, these things are tough to find.

Yep, those are the Team Leaders all right... well, until Chipper went down and took our playoff chances with him.

There were a whole bunch of these Lavender Classic cards. I don't remember this set, but the Dave Justice card is pretty cool. Can we swap Dave for Scalia?

Among some junkwax specimens was this Pinnacle Team 2000 card of Deion Sanders. I bought an entire jumbo box of this stuff for about the price of a 2010 Hobby box of Topps goes for today. It is now worth about the same as a retail pack of Topps. The Team 2000 cards were nifty at the time at least. "Whoa, 2000 is sooooo far away!"

Wait... what?

TENNIS cards?

I just got bipped with TENNIS cards? WTF?

Acworth's best? I never heard of this dude in my life. Of course I'm pretty anti-social, he could be a neighbor for all I know.

I JUST GOT BIPPED WITH TENNIS CARDS. That has to be a first.


Don't worry, there's more pain to come. Steve is just getting warmed up.

An innocent package from Steve.

Steve at White Sox Cards sent me a little package of goodies recently. The cards were inside a 200 count box and were carefully packaged with the Sunday comics. I had planned to scan one of the comics, but the only one of note was a particularly raunchy Beetle Bailey. Steve always has nice stuff in his packages and is such a genuinely kind and gentle soul that this package was sure to be a treat.

Lookie here, a Jair Jurrjens Bowman card. I don't think I have that one yet!

A few Heritage Braves. Got to love the Heritage. I have all these in the binder, but these can go towards a team set.

I have gotten very few Upper Deck cards this year. I think I'm subconsciously waiting for the half off blasters that will pop up next year. I didn't have this card of Kris Medlen yet and I'm very happy to see it!

Ahh, old school! Murph! A few cards from 1990...

Hrm, a Phillie.

More Phillies??

AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH PHILLIES!!!!!


THUS THE HORROR HAD BEGUN.

Just wait, it gets worse.  We are only at the beginning of the horror. Horror like this must come in Serial form. Stay Tuned to this station for the next episode of... THE SOUTH SIDE BIPPER


(anyone know where I can get a pile of Jim Thome cards in a Twins uni?)

Am I wrong?

So I did a bad thing the other day. Breaking cease-fires, softening up with a Bazooka and then dropping the Bowman Bomb, that sort of thing. Yes, I'm a bad person. I do not argue that. But consider why I did what I did. Chris may act all innocent, but a few months ago he did the unthinkable. A gross violation of the Bipping Geneva Convention: I got Re-Bipped.

Remember when I sent him a giant stack of Todd Helton cards? Well look what I got along with a Chicle Bipping:

Seriously, sending my own Heltons back to me??? How gauche. Chris could have at least used the 1354 Andres Galarraga cards he got bipped with as packing material, not my own damn cards. This is the kind of things that turns Bipping from a civilized war between gentleman to all out massacre. Judge me if you must, but this aggression shall not stand.

Bipping Karma bites quickly however, as you soon shall see...

I never have to buy another pack of Bowman ever again

Thanks to Project '62:

I HAZ A HEYWARD

I'm so happy I'm putting a moratorium on Cubs bashing until at least the All-Star break. Lou Piniella is still fair game though. I still want the Topps 100 and Expectations card of J-Hey but I know that it will be much easier to just buy those, even at inflated Atlanta prices. I'm scrounging for Cubs tonight so I can make a post office run tomorrow. Such a beautiful thing does not come without a price however....

MURPHY BIPPED

Oy, I wasn't expecting that one. There was a good Murph in the package though to make up for it.

Aw yeah, Chicle Murphy. Gotta love it. Wait.. what the fungus?

nnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

BAZOOKA'D

Well played, Mr. Gritz... Well played...