Wyrd Sisters

I think Granny Weatherwax is the elusive GQ20 card.

(Esme's gonna kick my ass for putting her on a Gypsy Queen card but I'm not MSPaint talented enough to change the card header to Wyrd Sisters)

2011 Topps Heritage Preview

I'm guessing it will look something like this:

Don't forget the Gimmick cards!

If you don't know what the heck is going on, check here. It's pretty much the worst kept secret in baseball.

IT'S BACK! IT'S FINALLY BACK!!!

No! Not this crap! THIS IS FINALLY BACK!!!

THE VENTURE BROTHERS SEASON 4.5 PREMIERE IS TONIGHT AT 11:30!

To commemorate the second half of Season Four of the best show on television ever, I have created a few custom non-sports cards from some images I ganked off of one of the creators' LiveJournal. It's kind of stupid, and it took forever, and I'll probably be sued, but it was worth it. Enjoy the foolishness and be sure to watch tonight on [adult swim]. If you don't have a TV think about just how awesome the episode might be in your mind from 11:30-12:00. Please include some ads in there too, [as] needs revenue.

I couldn't figure out a card to create for Dean so I did a book instead....

Monkeying around in MSPaint again

Did you know Jim Bouton ended his career as an Atlanta Brave? Yep, Bulldog pitched five whole games with them in 1978. Topps totally dropped the ball and didn't make a card of Jim in the 1979 set. I have corrected that error with my own custom creation:

You might recognize the photo from Beardy's 2010 Masterpieces set:

I requested that card because up until that point I had been too lazy to create my own card. I unlazied myself and got to working. It may seem tacky to reuse the same image on two cards like that, but this is only the second picture of Jim in a Braves uniform I've ever seen. The other is on the Ball Four plus Ball Five cover that was published in 1980. There's got to be some more pics of him out there somewhere, right?

Bonus quiz: Can anyone guess which '79 Topps card I used as the base for my custom?

Beardy is a Masterpiece

We've all been going through a bit of withdrawal this year now that Upper Deck has been smacked down and out of the baseball card business. I've personally been nursing my grudge that 2010 Goudey got kiboshed all year long. However, I didn't do anything about it besides sulk. Beardy took action!

Depressed that Masterpieces has been snuffed out forever, he took it upon himself to create his own 2010 Masterpieces set, logoless UD Style. It's a work in progress and you can request a card for the set here. Here's a prototype he created of J-Hey what I ganked off his site:

You can also see the entire set here. Great job by Beardy!

It Begins...

The Hot Stove League is officially underway!

The Royals shipped off Mark Teahen to their division rivals in exchange for infielders Chris Getz and Josh Fields. I didn't know Chris Getz existed until about an hour ago. Josh Fields is best known in baseball card circles as one of the prospects who got a super stealth short printed variation card in 2007 Topps Series 1 Wal-Mart packs. Anyone who has opened a pack of cards in the past 4 years knows exactly who Mark Teahen is. He's the Royal not named Grienke or Gordon. Now he's a Sock.

Nope, I didn't forget about Aki, traded to the Pirates for a rookie reliever. Awww yeah, let the filings and tradings and signings begin!

Gooba Gabba, We Accept You, One Of Us, One Of Us

I had three really good ideas for Thorzul's Nighmares on Carboard II contest, but due to unforseen circumstances and general procrastination I missed out. I'm going to keep my other ideas in my pocket for next year, but the one I did the most prep work on had to do with this movie:

I friggin love this movie. It sure isn't the most PC movie ever made, but if you're a fan of old school horror movies, weirdness, and good triumphing over evil, this is the movie for you. The film was directed by Tod Browning who was best known for directing Dracula and a long time collaboration with Lon Cheney. When Dracula made mad bank at the box office MGM's wunderkind Irving Thalberg recruited Tod (with whom he had worked before) to come up with a real horrorshow film to get the studio into this lucrative market. So Tod came up with a film about circus sideshow freaks who get their revenge on the glamourous performers who try to rob and murder one of their own.

It didn't go over all that well. Audiences were horrified (well, duh, it's called a horror movie) Thalberg was mortified and Louis B. Mayer absolutely despised it, resulting in Tod getting Barton Finked right out of the movie business. A big chunk of the movie (including strongman Hercules getting turned into a soprano by angry freaks) was cut, the movie was banned and it ended up being a huge disaster. It now has a better reputation after being rediscovered in the '60s and is now a cult classic. And why not? The story of a bunch of misfits rising up against the popular bullies who taunt and abuse them strikes a chord with a whole lot of people. If you love the Ramones, you can probably identify with this movie.

The original idea (which was probably influenced to some degree by these guys) was to do a classic old school horror movie non-sports trading card set in a contemporary trading card set design. I love the movie Freaks and the 1932 U.S Caramel Baseball and Presidents sets are certainly classic and easy to MSPaint. So, I created this:

Schlitzie! The most lovable pinhead of all. Yes, even including this guy. Schlitzie's practically a rock star in this film and his performance really struck me the first time I saw this film in a college film class. A long time side show performer, Schlitzie worked for several circuses incliding Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey and acted in a few movies. Schlitzie still has fans today, and in 2008 members of findadeath.com chipped in to give his grave a headstone. Here's Schlitzie's big scene from Freaks:



I had planned to do cards for the rest of the cast including Johnny Eck, Prince Randian, Harry Earles, Angelo Rossitto and Koo Koo the Bird Girl but those will have to wait for another time.

Here's the card that provided a template for the set, an original "super short printed" card of William McKinley. The story behind that card is a whole other post. He does look a little like Boris Karloff though... Happy Halloween!

National Collect Like A Pirate Day

No, not these pirates.

Not even these Pirates.

These pirates.

Tired of spending time and hard earned money building a Topps base set only to find there's an impossible super short print keeping you from completing your goal? Sick of pre-ordering a case of Heritage only to find that there's a pile of cards that you'll only get if you buy a case of cases? Are your OCD tendencies causing you to break out in hives every time a new base set comes out with some stupid gimmick preventing you from being the completist your neurotic nature demands?

WELL SCREW IT

DEATH TO SUPER SHORT PRINTS

KEELHAUL THE CHASE CARDS

GARROTTE THE GIMMICKS

FILL THAT HOLE IN YOUR SET WITH A HOMEBREW

PRESENTING:

2009 PIRATE CARDS

2006 Alex Gordon ain't just for Olbermann anymore!

Gobble up that Ratty gimmick!

The card companies are mercenary, you should be too!

Get a little Cap'n in your binder!

Now the point of interweb card piracy is to share. Share those impossible cards with your fellow collectors. Now, I've started off with 4 here. Make your own Pirateized cards, I'll link 'em here and we can all fill in those gimmicked up base sets with cards we made aaaaarrrrselves. I'll pick the best and put them into an official 2009 Pirate Card Set.

Not enough incentive to crack open MSPaint and defy copyright law by exercising your right to *gasp* Fair Use? I'm going to print out some sets on some cardstock I bought. The creators of the top five cards as chosen by poll will get a printed set from me. Everyone who makes a piratey entry will be sent a document of the cards that you can print out yourself.

Is this stupid? Yes!

Will I get sued? Probably!

Is it fun? Definitely!

Now post some entries in the comments! I still owe Chris Harris a factory set!