ONLINE DIMEBOX BLASTER - PART 10

 THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO THEME TO THIS POST. WE'VE GOT CARDS FROM FOUR DIFFERENT SPORTS, TWO VERY DIFFERENT MOVIES, AND AN ACTUAL PAINTING. LET'S JUMP RIGHT INTO THE NONSENSE

1990 PACIFIC WIZARD OF OZ THE WINGED MONKEYS

CATEGORY - NON-SPORT, SUPERSTAR

I LOVE THE WIZARD OF OZ AND THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST AND MARGARET HAMILTON. WHEN I SAW THIS PACIFIC SET I HIT A CARD GALLERY TO FIND A CARD WITH A GOOD PICTURE OF THE WITCH. I WANTED A NICE CLOSE UP WHICH I DID NOT GET BUT WHEN I SAW THE FLYING MONKEY I WAS SOLD. WITCHY-POO IS LITERALLY MY TWITTER AVATAR SO THIS CARD SHOULDN'T BE A BIG SHOCK TO ANY OF YOU WHO FOLLOW ME ON THERE

2020 OPTIC MATT RYAN

CATEGORY - FALCONS

I DON'T LIKE THE FALCONS I SWEAR. I JUST DON'T HAVE A LOT OF MATT RYAN CARDS AND NOW THAT HIS CAREER IS OVER HE'S BASICALLY AS GOOD AS DAN MARINO. EVERYONE LOVES DAN, HE WAS IN ACE VENTURA! OR WAS IT THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY. AT ANY RATE WHEN MATT RYAN STARS IN AN INAPPROPRIATE COMEDY FOR TEENS I'LL HAVE THE LAST LAUGH

1990 TOPPS MARK CLAYTON 1000 YARD CLUB

CATEGORY - WANTLIST

MOAR FEETSBAWL! I ACTUALLY NEED THIS CARD, AS MUCH AS YOU CAN NEED 1990 FOOTBALL CARDS. STILL WORKING ON PICKING OFF THESE 1000 YARD CLUB SETS AND MAKING SOME PROGRESS THANKS TO BASEBALLCARDSTORE.CA

1993 SKYBOX DEMOLITION MAN 21ST CENTURY TACO BELL

CATEGORY - NON-SPORT

I ALLOW MYSELF TO BUY SOMETHING COMPLETELY STUPID ONCE EVERY COUPLE ORDERS AND THIS ABSOLUTELY FITS THE BILL. I'M PRETTY SURE A LARGE CHUNK OF THE PEOPLE WHO READ THIS BLOG IS AT LEAST IN THEIR 40S BY NOW WHICH MEANS YOU ALL REMEMBER THE ABSOLUTELY INSANE AD BLITZ TACO BELL MADE WHEN THIS MOVIE CAME OUT. I COULDN'T PASS THIS UP, IT'S TOO DUMB AND MAKES ME LAUGH. IT'S KINDA FUNNY THAT TACO BELL'S ACTUAL LOGO NOW ISN'T TERRIBLY FAR OFF FROM THIS ONE. THEY HAVE NINE MORE YEARS TO REPLACE EVERY OTHER RESTAURANT ON EARTH AND MAKE THIS FILM PROPHETIC 

2022 DONRUSS OZZIE ALBIES

CATEGORY - BRAVES

HOORAY! ANOTHER ACUÑA LITE! THIS JOKE IS GOING TO GET OLD QUICK WITH ALL THE OTHER OZZIES I'VE PICKED UP FROM HERE. I'M UTTERLY FASCINATED BY THIS ODD M.C, ESCHER LOOKING DESIGN FROM DONRUSS. IT REALY DOES LOOK 3-D TO ME IN HAND BUT THEN AGAIN I AM OVERDUE FOR AN EYE DOCTOR APPOINTMENT

1993 COMIC IMAGES NORMAN ROCKWELL THE DUGOUT

CATEGORY - NON-SPORT? BRAVES

THIS IS MY FAVORITE NORMAN ROCKWELL PAINTING BY ORDERS OF MAGNITUDE. THE EXPRESSION ON EVERY FACE IN THIS PICTURE IS JUST PERFECT. NORMAN PAINTED THIS BASED ON A GAME IN BOSTON - THAT'S RIGHT THE BRAVES ARE BEATING UP ON THE CUBS! IN THE CLUBHOUSE IS BOB RUSH, CHARLEY GRIMM, AL WALKER AND JOHNNY SCHMITZ. I SAW THE ACTUAL PAINTING AT A ROCKWELL MUSEUM IN CHICAGO AND ALWAYS REGRETTED NOT BUYING A PRINT

MY FAVORITE FACE. THIS GUY COULD BE THE MASCOT FOR BRAVES TWITTER

2017-18 HOOPS HARRISON BARNES COURTSIDE

CATEGORY - INSERT

I DON'T HAVE A LOT TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE. IT'S A NICE LOOKING SHINY BASKETBALL INSERT AND I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF THOSE

1988 PACIFIC LEGENDS MINNIE MINOSO

CATEGORY - PLAYER COLLECTION

UPON FURTHER REVIEW, THIS APPEARS TO BE AN ACTUAL WANTLIST NEED. DON'T CARE, I LOVE MINNIE AND I'M HAPPY HE GOT IN THE HALL AND MAD THAT IT TOOK SO LONG. I'M ACTUALLY REALLY CLOSE TO COMPLETING THE 1988 FIRST SERIES PACIFIC LEGENDS SET NOW AND COULD PROBABLY FINISH IT WITHIN THE YEAR IF I PUT MY MIND TO IT

1988-89 ESSO STICKER PAUL COFFEY

CATEGORY - PLAYER COLLECTION

COFFEY IS MY THIRD AND LARGEST HOCKEY PLAYER COLLECTION. I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD HAVE SOME FAVORITE FORWARDS BUT NAH, EVERYONE I COLLECT IS A DEFENSEMAN OR GOALIE RIGHT NOW. I BECAME A FAN OF COFFEY PLAYING EA NHL '93. COFFEY WAS A MONSTER WHO COULD SCORE AT WILL. MY FRIEND ALWAYS TOOK THE BLACKHAWKS AND KEPT ME FROM PLAYING WITH CHELIOS, SO I WAS THE RED WINGS AND BEAT HIM CONSTANTLY. AT LEAST UNTIL NHL '94 CAME OUT AND ALL THE CHEAP TRICKS I LEARNED IN '93 STOPPED WORKING

THIS THING IS ACTUALLY A STICKER AND NOT ONE OF THOSE PEEL OFF KINDS. THIS IS THE KIND YOU LICK LIKE A STAMP SO YOU CAN PASTE IT INTO AN ALBUM. AND IT'S A HELL OF AN ALBUM JUDGING BY THIS CHECKLIST. I GET JEALOUS OF THE CANADIANS EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE AND THIS IS ONE OF THOSE TIMES. I WANT AN ALBUM FULL OF HOCKEY STARS COVERED IN TASTY GLUE!

1992 UPPER DECK PHILLIES HEROES OF BASEBALL HOLO STICKER

CATEGORY - WANTLIST

I'M ALSO TRYING TO COMPLETE ALL THE UPPER DECK HOLOGRAM STICKER SETS. THE THINGS ARE SEEMINGLY EVERYWHERE ESPECIALLY THE SMALL ONES FROM 89 AND 90, BUT THE COLLATION WAS SO ATROCIOUS THAT IT'S A LITTLE TRICKY TO COMPLETE THE SET. EXPECIALLY SO FOR THE 1992 STICKERS WHICH WERE NOT IN EVERY PACK AND WERE DITCHED AFTER THE LOW SERIES BECAUSE MLB DECIDED THAT COMPANIES DIDN'T NEED TCHOTCHKES INSERTED INTO PACKS ANYMORE. NO MORE STICKERS, NO MORE PUZZLES, NO MORE GUM. LAZY CHEAP BASTARDS

UP NEXT - WE START TO CALM DOWN A BIT AND THEN COMPLETELY LOSE OUR HEADS

9 cards from two racks

Yay! Target has A&G! Booo! They don't have blasters! Here's 9 cards from the first two racks I snagged. Why 9? That's how many cards fit on the scanner.

Kalamazoo. Just Kalamazoo.

Dude masters fire and he's only 24 out of 26 cards. If card #26 is Michael Eisner, I'm giving up collecting cards as a hobby and taking up cross-stitch instead. That's some mighty fine flocculence there...

Hooray! Retail Checklists! Now I have five more cards to chase for this set. Well, four now.

A card in every garage, a chicken in every pot and a Chipper in every pack.

Topps is really pushing the evolution theme in this product. Two words for ya: BINOMIAL NOMENCLATURE. You have no idea what that is, but you vaguely remember having to memorize it for a biology class in middle school.

Yay! My first double for 2011!

The Ginterization of this photo did a neat thing to the ball Clayton is tossing. I've been stating at it for an hour. It looks like something out of a Rene Magritte painting.

Fuzzy Monkey! It was with this card I realized that Topps put the Ginter football pebbles texture on the Ascent of Man cards. It distracts a bit from the monkey butt, I think.

BIG MAC ATTACK. Two Braves and two cards from insert sets I'm collecting in two racks. Not too bad. Now hurry up and deliver the blasters already. Target still has plenty of 2010 blasters, though. C/MON TARGET, DON'T FORCE ME TO DIG THROUGH LOOSEYS

More 19th Century Hotties

It's Thursday night and any alum of the University of Georgia School of Excessive Partying knows that it's time to go out drinking and hit on some sorority girls! You can sleep in and ditch class tomorrow, nothing important is ever taught on Fridays anyways. Isn't it summer break yet? Or is it summer semester. Ya know, cause I ditched too many classes and flunked. Anyhoo, if you were matriculating back in the 1890's in Athens you could go downtown to the 40 Watt and maybe run into some fine girlies like these. You sure couldn't find any in classes because women weren't allowed at UGA back then.

Aww yeah, check out this lady. I bet her daddy's rich, all the sorority girls' parents are loaded. Only problem is they think they're all a bunch of princesses. Oh wait, she IS a princess... actually a Queen. The Queen of Greece to be precise. And since her granddaddy and cousins were all Tsars of Russia, that is a very good indication that her family is filthy rich. At least until the revolution that is. Like pretty much all European Royalty she's connected to just about everybody. Don't believe me? You know that Prince William guy? Over in England? Diana's kid? Future King of England assuming the peasants don't rise up and lop off all their heads? His grandfather is her grandson. That's right, this old Allen & Ginter card is of Prince Willie's great great grandmother. She's no stranger to kings, not only did she marry one, but her son and grandson were kings as well although they didn't have great luck. Her son Constantine had to abdicate the throne after backing the wrong side in World War One. His son Alexander ascended the throne only to die a few years later after getting bitten by a monkey. That's right, death by monkey attack. This is why rich people need to stick to their tiny purse dogs instead of buying crazy ass pets.

Her sons apparently got their weird luck from their mother. Olga was a do-gooder who did lots of charity work and and was responsible for endowing several hospitals. On a visit to a hospital that was tending to wounded soldiers most likely shot up in some phony skirmish intended to enrich the coffers of the Ruling Elite (some things never change, do they folks) she discovered that despite the fact that everyone spoke Greek, and the Bible was written in Greek, that no one could actually read the thing. Archaic form of the language and whatnot. Being a deeply devout Orthodox Christian herself, she thought it would be a great comfort to the soldiers to be able to read the Bible for themselves the next time her husband sent them off to have a pissing contest with Crete or Turkey or whoever. She asked an archbishop if translating the Bible into Modern Greek was a good idea, and he said sure because she was a queen and you don't piss off queens. So she went to the Holy Synod with this great idea and they told her no. Queens don't usually hear that word so she asked again and they told her Hell No. This threw her a bit, but being a queen she just went ahead and did it anyway and kept all the translations for personal use. Meanwhile, another dude was writing his own translation in a different dialect, and he published an exerpt in a newspaper and started selling copies. This caused the theologians to go batshit, the linguists joined them because they didn't like the dialect the other guy used, the press jumped in because they know a juicy story when they see it and before you know it there are riots, deaths, Archbishops resigning and governments falling. The brouhaha was called "Evangelika"as in the Greek word for gospels, Evangelion, so now I'm morally obligated to post a version of Fly Me To the Moon, because I am obsessed with Neon Genesis Evangelion.



Whew! From Allen & Ginter to monkey bites to bible fights to anime! Who knew royalty was so complicated??