WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PLAYOFFS

IT'S PLAYOFFS TIME AGAIN EVEN THOUGH WE STILL DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHO'S GOING TO BE IN THEM YET. TIME TO FEEL UNIMAGINABLE STRESS AND AGONY IF YOUR TEAM IS FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO BE IN THE GRUELING MONTH LONG SADNESS TOURNAMENT. AND THIS YEAR THE STRESS IS ON TOP OF *WAVES ARMS AROUND WILDLY* EVERYTHING ELSE THAT'S GOING ON! HOORAY! 

LIKE LAST YEAR, HERE'S A POST RANKING THIS YEAR'S CHAMPIONSHIP HOPEFULS FROM THE ONE I'M ROOTING FOR MOST TO THE LEAST. WHY YES, I DO HATE YOUR TEAM! THE CARDS CHOSEN FOR EACH TEAM ARE THE SHINIEST, WILDEST LATE 90S CARDS I PICKED OUT OF AN OLD STARS BOX I WAS SORTING THROUGH RECENTLY. I'VE BEEN DOING A LOT MORE SORTING AND ORGANIZING THAN POSTING LATELY IF YOU CAN TELL. AS A BONUS I'LL TALK ABOUT THE CARDS A BIT ALONG WITH MY HATEFUL THOUGHTS ABOUT THE TEAMS. LET'S START OFF WITH THE OBVIOUS

BRAVES

THAT THE BRAVES ARE EVEN STILL IN IT IS UTTERLY ABSURD. THEIR ACE WAS HURT AFTER ONE START, THEIR MVP WAS GONE HALFWAY THROUGH THE SEASON AND HALF THE TEAM HAS SPENT TWO MONTHS ON THE IL. HOW HAS NO ONE PUT US OUT OF OUR MISERY YET?!? NOBODY CAN HIT ANYMORE BUT THE PITCHING IS ELITE SO MAYBE THEY CAN WIN A BUNCH OF 1-0 GAMES. IF THE 2021 TEAM COULD DO IT, WHY NOT

GAWD THESE 1997 SPX CARDS ARE FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. I REGRET BUYING CRAP LIKE COLLECTOR'S CHOICE INSTEAD OF THESE NOW

BREWERS

HONESTLY I ADOPTED THE BREWERS AS MY ROOTING CHOICE MONTHS AGO WHEN THINGS WERE AT THEIR DISMALEST. THEY MIGHT STILL BE NUMBER ONE ON THIS LIST DEPENDING WHAT HAPPENS. I LIKE HOW THEY TRADED THEIR BEST CLOSER AND PITCHER THE LAST COUPLE OF YEARS AND STILL BEAT THE HELL OUT OF THE NL CENTRAL. I WILL ALWAYS ROOT FOR WILLIAM CONTRERAS, GO WILD BILL. AND MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL? BOB UECKER DESERVES A RING. SEEING HIM LIFT THE TROPHY WOULD MAKE UP FOR A LOT OF TERRIBLE BULLSHIT THIS YEAR

2001 ARCHIVES RESERVE IS WHAT EVERY CHROMIUM PRODUCT SHOULD BE: 100% REFRACTORS. IT REALLY IS A GREAT SET IF YOU CAN FIND IT

ASTROS

YES, YES. EVERYONE HATES THE ASTROS FOR SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED SEVEN YEARS AGO. SOMETHING THAT NO OTHER TEAM HAS EVER DONE BEFORE OR SINCE. THEY ARE A BAD TEAM FOR BAD PEOPLE. LUCKILY ENOUGH I AM A BAD PEOPLE! AND I LOVE VILLAINS! AND JOSE ALTUVE WHO IS AWESOME AND COMPLETELY INNOCENT. YOU KNOW IT TO BE TRUE. EXTRA ADDED BONUS: JASON HEYWARD CAN GET HIS SECOND RING WITH THE STROS. THIS FACT HAD ME FLIPPING THE SECOND AND THIRD CHOICES ON THIS LIST RIGHT UP UNTIL POSTING

2000 PACIFIC INVICIBLE IS ONE OF THE MOST RIDICULOUS DESIGNS FROM AN ADMITTEDLY RIDICULOUS ERA. INVICIBLE WAS KNOWN FOR COMBINING PAPER AND PLASTIC ELEMENTS BUT THIS... THIS IS JUST WEIRD. WHAT EVEN IS THIS DESIGN?? MOSES ALOU PARTING THE WRIGLEY WALL? UTTERLY BIZARRE. IT CONFUSED ME SO MUCH I ONLY BOUGHT ONE PACK BACK IN THE DAY, A DECISION I NOW REGRET

GUARDIANS

THE GUARDIANS NOT ONLY HAVE THE LONGEST CHAMPIONSHIP DROUGHT BUT THE LAST TWO WORLD SERIES THEY WERE IN WERE FUCKING AGONIZING. THAT GIVES THEM A BIT OF AN UNDERDOG VIBE TO ME, PLUS THEY DESERVE SOME GOOD FORTUNE WHAT WITH THE OVERDUE BRANDING CHANGE. I ALSO WANT TO SEE JOSE RAMIREZ PLAY AS MUCH BASEBALL AS POSSIBLE. KEEP SLEEPING ON JOSE, I LOVE FINDING HIS CARDS DIRT CHEAP

GALLERY ISN'T TRADITIONALLY SHINY BUT THE 1996 VERSION WAS VERY INNOVATIVE FOR THE TIME WITH THE THICK STOCK AND PAINTERLY THEME. THE CANVAS BACKGROUND AND GILDED FRAME REALLY MAKES EDDIE LOOK LIKE HE'S HANGING IN A MUSEUM

ROYALS

IF YOUR TEAM HASN'T BEENIN THE PLAYOFFS FOR A DECADE I'LL LIKELY BE ROOTING FOR YOU. DOESN'T MEAN THEY'LL MAKE IT VERY FAR BUT IT'S STILL A GOOD STORY. BOBBY WITT JR. IS ALSO THE REAL DEAL. TIME TO SNAG SOME OF HIS CARDS NOW THAT EVERYONE IS OBSESSED WITH SHOHEI

MOAR COLLECTING REGRETS: WHEN I DID BUY PACKS OF HIGHER END STUFF IN THE 90S, IT WAS OF SHIT LIKE BOWMAN'S BEST. THE 1999 VERSION IS NOT GOOD. THE DESIGN HAS MORE YELLOW THAN 1991 FLEER AND THE ROOKIES ARE ALL SHORT PRINTED. BUT THE REFRACTORS REALLY POP. THIS PHOTO DOES NOT DO IT JUSTICE

TIGERS

ANOTHER TEAM THAT BEEN TERRIBLE FOR FOREVER WHO INEXPLICABLY SNUCK INTO THE PLAYOFFS. THANKS TWINS! THEY'VE GOT A SOME GOOD YOUNG PLAYERS TOO, SKUBAL AND GREENE LOOK LEGIT. WILL THEY MAKE NOISE IN THE PLAYOFFS? PROBABLY NOT! BUT THIS SEASON HAS BEEN SO DAMN WEIRD ALREADY, WHY NOT?

CROWN ROYALE IS ALWAYS NICE, EVEN IF EVERY SET IS BASICALLY THE SAME THING WITH SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT FOIL. THEY'RE UNWIELDY AND AWKWARD TO STORE BUT THAT'S WHAT MAKES THEM SPECIAL

PHILLIES

YOU'D THINK I WOULD HATE THE PHILLIES SINCE THEY KNOCKED OFF THE BRAVES IN EXTRA PAINFUL FASHION TWO YEARS IN A ROW AND THEN STOLE THE DIVISION FROM US. YOU'D BE WRONG! I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO COMPLETELY LOATHE THE PHILLIES AS I HAVE FAMILY FROM THERE AND THEY ARE HISTORICALLY SUCH A SHITTY-ASS FRANCHISE THAT WHEN SOMETHING NICE HAPPENS TO THEM IT'S HONESTLY TOO SURPRISING TO CAUSE BITTERNESS. AND I MEAN, IF HARPER GOES HIS WHOLE CAREER WITHOUT A RING WE'LL ALL BE KINDA DISAPPOINTED IF WE'RE BEING HONEST. WHY NOT THIS YEAR? BECAUSE NICE THINGS DON'T HAPPEN TO PHILADELPHIA TEAMS, THAT'S WHY

THIS IS NOT A SHINY CARD! WTF!!? THERE WERE NO SHINY PHILLIES IN THE CARDS I RESCUED FROM THE STAR BOXES EXCEPT A MIKE LIEBERTHAL MINOR LEAGUE INSERT THAT WASN'T VERY SHINY AT ALL AND ONE OF A PITCHER WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED. I'M NOT PUTTING HIS CARDS ON THIS BLOG IF I CAN HELP IT SO HERE'S THE MUCH LESS PROBLEMATIC PETE ROSE. I LOVE 1983 FLEER AND I REALLY LOVE CARDS WITH PLAYERS LEANING ON THAT OLD CIRCULAR NET THINGY. JUST THINK OF THIS AS A CARD OF THAT NET THINGY AND IGNORE EVERYTHING ELSE

ORIOLES

ORIOLES DROPPED FOUR SPOTS FROM LAST YEAR AND WOULD BE MUCH HIGHER IF NOT FOR TWO THINGS. FIRST OF ALL, THEY ARE NO LONGER THE NEW HOTNESS NOW THAT THE SCRAPPY ROYALS AND TIGERS HAVE STOLEN THE UNDERDOG ROLES. THEY ARE A LEGIT GOOD TEAM NOW! BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO BEAT THE YANKEES. KNOCK THEM OUT AND YOU'LL MOVE UP IN MY ESTIMATION

FLAIR/SHOWCASE/FLAIR SHOWCASE IS ONE OF THE WEIRDEST BRANDS OF THE 90S AND 2000S. IT SEEMS LIKE EVERY YEAR THERE WAS A MAJOR DESIGN CHANGE OR NAME CHANGE OR BOTH UNTIL FLEER FINALLY WENT BELLY UP.  1999 FLAIR SHOWCASE EPITOMIZED THIS WITH EACH CARD HAVING NOT ONLY THREE DIFFERENT FRONT DESIGNS BUT THREE DIFFERENT BACK DESIGNS AS WELL, ALL IN DIFFERENT RARITIES. THIS CARD IS THE HARDEST (AND BEST LOOKING IN MY OPINION) TO FIND FRONT WITH THE EASIEST TO FIND BACK. THIS MEANS YOU CAN PROBABLY FIND ONE IN A DIME BOX IF YOU LOOK LONG ENOUGH. IT'S PRETTY THO

PADRES

THE PADRES ARE ANOTHER TEAM THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN WAY HIGHER A YEAR OR TWO AGO BUT 1) I'VE GROWN WEARY OF THEIR ANTICS AND 2) IF THE BRAVES ACTUALLY DO MAKE THE PLAYOFFS THEY ARE OUR FIRST ROUND OPPONENT. YU DARVISH IS COOL THOUGH 

THIRTY YEAR OLD 1994 PACIFIC PRISMS LOOK BETTER THAN ANY CARD THAT HAS COME OUT IN 2024. I'LL FIGHT ANYONE WHO DISAGREES. ASSUMING I CAN STOP STARING AT THIS CARD. OOOOOOHHHHH SHIIIIIIINY

DODGERS

DODGERS HAVE BEEN THE PRESUMPTIVE NL PENNANT WINNER EVERY YEAR FOR LIKE EIGHT OR NINE YEARS NOW. I DON'T ROOT FOR TEAMS WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO WIN, THAT'S NOT MY STYLE. YES, IT WILL BE FUN TO SEE OHTANI IN THE PLAYOFFS, YES, MOOKIE AND FREDDIE ARE COOL. EVERYONE WOULD LOVE TO SEE THEM IN THE WORLD SERIES. BUT I'M A GRUMPY JERK. THIS IS THE PLAYOFFS! NO FUN FOR ANYONE! ONLY PAIN

NOW THIS HERE IS WHAT INVINCIBLE IS SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE! A NICE CARD WITH A RIDICULOUS DESIGN WITH A LITTLE WINDOW WITH A PLASTIC PLAYER INSIDE. I DUNNO HOW PACIFIC WENT FROM THIS TO THAT WEIRD MESS IN JUST ONE YEAR. I ALSO DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HECK THAT LIGHT SPOT ON RAUL'S EAR IS. IT'S NOT ON THE CARD AND I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT REFLECTION COULD HAVE CAUSED THAT. MAYBE THIS CARD IS HAUNTED

METS

I'M AS SURPISED AS YOU ARE! HOW THE HELL ARE THE DISGRACEFUL METS ONLY MY THIRD-MOST DISLIKED TEAM IN THIS COUNTDOWN? I GOT A LOT OF HATE IN ME I GUESS. I REALLY DON'T LIKE THEM AND IF THEY END UP KNOCKING US OUT - OR WORSE - ACTUALLY WINNING IT ALL THE CROWING I WILL HEAR FROM QUEENS WILL ECHO IN MY EARS IN HELL. THEY'RE STILL NOT AS BAD AS THESE NEXT TWO TEAMS I PROMISE

THIS IS A EVRY PACIFIC HEAVY POST BUT CAN YOU BLAME ME? LOOK AT ALL THE SHINY! PACIFIC REVOLUTION IS THE SHINIEST PRODUCT FROM THE SHINIEST COMPANY AND 2000 REVOLUTION IS THE KING OF ALL SHINY. THE GOLD FOIL IS ALL OVER THE PLACE. THE HOLOFOIL FIREWORKS AND THE YEAR 2000 EXPLODING EVERYWHERE. THE BRAND NAME IS EVEN EMBOSSED INTO THE SIDE FOR NO APPARENT REASON. ALL THIS SET NEEDS IS TO BE DIE CUT TO BECOME A BLACK HOLE OF SHINY

DIAMONDBACKS

I'M COMPLETELY SICK OF ARIZONA IN GENERAL. IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY, LOOK AT MY PREVIOUS PLAYOFF POST I LINKED UP THERE. PLUS THEY WENT TO THE WORLD SERIES LAST YEAR. BLECCH. AND LOST TO THE RANGERS! DOUBLE BLECCH. ANY OLD TEAM COULD'VE DONE THAT! I'M GRUMPY NOW. GRRRRR 

HERE'S A SHORT PRINTED FINEST ROOKIE CARD OF A PLAYER WHO NEVER PLAYED A SINGLE INNING IN THE BIGS. AND NOT EVEN A SERIAL NUMBERED ROOKIE CARD! IT'S A PROMO! THIS CARD IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL ABOUT THE ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS

YANKEES

I CARE SO LITTLE ABOUT THE YANKEES THAT THE CARD WON'T CENTER AND I CAN'T EVEN BE BOTHERED ABOUT IT. I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO BOLD THE NAME, WHAT'S THE USE. PHOOEY ON THE YANKEES. I WAS SURPRISED THAT THE SNAKES WERE DEAD LAST ON LAST YEARS LIST AND THEN IT DAWNED ON ME THAT THE YANKEES MISSED THE PLAYOFFS  IN 2023 AND WAS SOO HAPPY AND THEN REALIZED THAT THEY WERE IN THE PLAYOFFS THIS YEAR AND I WAS SAD AGAIN. BARF! BLECCCH! PTUI! THE ONLY POSITIVE OUTCOME TO THEM WINNING THE WORLD SERIES IS IF SOTO COLLECTS HIS RING AND THEN BOLTS FOR ANOTHER TEAM

YANKEES SUCK BUT DUFEX IS THE BEST. HOORAY FOR 1996 PINNACLE.

SO THERE YOU GO! I HAVE NO CONFIDENCE IN THE BRAVES WHATSOEVER SINCE THEY CAN'T SCORE MORE THAN THREE RUNS A GAME SO MY DREAM WORLD SERIES MATCHUP IS:

BREWERS VS. ASTROS

WINNER GETS TO BE IN THE NATIONAL LEAGUE. I CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS SO THE ACTUAL RESULT WILL BE THE YANKEES DANCING ALL OVER THE METS' FACES. ONWARD TO HELL! PLAY BALL!!!!1

BLOGGER SOMEHOW PASTED IN THIS PICTURE OF BURGERPANTS FROM UNDERTALE THAT I USED IN A BLUESKY POST SO FUCK IT, IT'S STAYING IN. I'M FEELING KINDA BURGERPANTSY AT THE MOMENT ANYWAY

EVEN MOAREREST PLAYOFFS

 IT'S BASKEYBAWL PLAYOFF TIME WHICH IS EXCITING BUT WILL MOST LIKELY END UP GOING BADLY FOR ME. SINCE I DID MY BASEBALL AND FEETSBALL TEAM RANKINGS WHY NOT DO BASKETBALL AS WELL. DON'T EXPECT HOCKEY THOUGH, I DO NOT KNOW NOR DO I CARE WHO'S GOOD IN THAT SPORT ANYMORE. TEAMS SHALL BE REPRESENTED BY COOL 90S INSERTS BECAUSE THEY ARE AWESOME AND WILL BE RANKED IN ORDER FROM BESTEST TO LEASTEST FAVORITE. ANYONE WHO HAS SEEN 57 POSTS ABOUT TRAE YOUNG ON THIS WEBSITE KNOWS WHO IS THE FAVORITERIST. I'LL STOP WITH THE RIDICULOUS SPELLING NOW

ATLANTA HAWKS

THE HAWKS ARE ONCE AGAIN IN THE PLAY-IN ROUND AS THE 10TH SEED IN THE EAST. THEY ARE 3-0 IN PLAY-IN GAMES BUT THEY ARE NOT GOING 5-0. THE TEAM IS A MESS, THE ROSTER DOESN'T FIT AND MOST OF THE BEST PLAYERS ARE BEAT UP TO HELL. I'LL STILL BE LISTENING TO STEVE HOLMAN CALLING THE GAME ON THE RADIO FOR AS LONG AS I CAN BUT I'M NOT FEELING GOOD ABOUT THIS ONE EVEN WITH TRAE PLAYOFF MAGIC IN THE MIX. THIS IS GOING TO BE A CRITICAL OFFSEASON, NO MORE SALARY CAP DUMPS PLEASE. IT'S SAD, THEY'VE GOT THE BEST PLAYER IN FRANCHISE HISTORY AND A LOT OF GOOD YOUNG TALENT ON THE ROSTER BUT CAN'T WIN AT EVEN A .500 CLIP

THE HAWKS STRESS ME OUT BUT THIS CARD DOES NOT. ALMOST COMICALLY SIMPLE COMPARED TO THE REST OF THE CARDS IN THIS POST, THIS 1992-93 ROOKIE SENSATIONS CARD HAS ALWAYS BEEN ONE OF MY FAVORITES. IT'S SO 90S! PURPLE? CHECK. GRADIENT? CHECK. CHUNKY COMPUTER GRAPHICS? CHECK. IT HELPED THAT AUGMON WAS MY FAVORITE PLAYER IN THE EARLY 90'S. HE KNOW HOW TO PLAY DEFENSE UNLIKE SOME OTHER PEOPLE I KNOW 

BOSTON CELTICS

I HATE THE BOSTON CELTICS. I HATE THEM SO BAD IT'S BLED OVER TO MOST OF NEW ENGLAND. FUCK OFF RHODE ISLAND! QUIT LOOKING SO SMUG, VERMONT! EAT SHIT, THE PARTS OF MAINE NOT HAUNTED BY A STEPHEN KING MONSTER! OOOOOOH I HATE THE GODDAMN CELTICS. BUT. THIS MIGHT BE AL HORFORD'S LAST CHANCE AT A RING. AND I LOVE AL HORFORD. HORFORD NEEDS A RING! GO GET HIM A RING YOU BASTARDS! DON'T CHOKE IT AWAY AGAIN LIKE YOU DID THE PAST TWO YEARS!!! FSGJHFSKAJGH

THE CELTICS MAKE ME MAD, THIS CARD IS KINDA COOL. AN INSERT FROM 1999-00 ULTRA, YOU GOT A GIANT CELTICS LOGO ON A PARQUET FLOOR WITH THE MOST AWKWARD PHOTO OF ANTOINE WALKER AVAILABLE AT THE TIME. THIS IS AN EXTRA-ODD INSERT SET AS BOSTON IS THE ONLY TEAM WITH A PARQUET FLOOR, THE ORIGINAL FLOOR WAS ACTUALLY RETIRED IN 1999, AND THE INSERT SET INCLUDES THE USUAL MIX OF PLAYERS FOR ALL DIFFERENT TEAMS. THIS ONE WITH A PLAYER WHO ACTUALLY PLAYED ON A PARQUET FLOOR SEEMS A LITTLE SPECIAL

MILWAUKEE BUCKS

MY NORMAL RANKING PROCESS OF TAKING TEAMS THAT HAVE WON A CHAMPIONSHIP THIS CENTURY AND TELLING THEM TO GO JUMP IN A LAKE IS NOT WORKING THIS TIME. EVEN THOUGH THEY WON A CHIP VERY RECENTLY I STILL SEE THEM AS A BUNCH OF SCRAPPY UNDERDOGS, ALBEIT ONE WITH A GIANT MONSTEROUS GREAT DANE THAT CAN RIP PEOPLE'S HEADS OFF IN THE PACK. I LIKE GIANNIS AND IT WOULD BE THE FUNNIEST THING EVER IF DOC RIVERS WON ANOTHER TITLE AFTER EVERYONE SHIT ALL OVER HIM FOR THE PAST DECADE SO IF THE ROTTEN CELTICS BLOW IT AGAIN ANOTHER TITLE FOR MILWAUKEE WOULD PLEASE ME. 

LATE 90S INSERTS WERE WILD, YO. EVERYTHING ESCALATED SO MUCH THAT BASE SETS LIKE FLEER TRADITION WERE POPPING OUT EMPBOSSED, TEXTURED, HOLOFOIL ENCRUSTED CARDS LIKE THIS ONE. THESE THINGS WERE 1:20 PACKS IN A 98-99 SET WHOSE THEME WAS THE 1961 FLEER DESIGN. GOD BLESS THE 90S

MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES

OK, BACK TO THE ACTUAL SCRAPPY UNDERDOGS. THE TIMBERWOLVES HAVE BEEN A COMPLETE TIRE FIRE FOR THEIR ENTIRE EXISTENCE. THEN THIS YEAR WITH BULLDOG LEGEND ANTHONY EDWARDS THEY LED THE WESTERN CONFERENCE FOR MUCH OF THE YEAR BEFORE BLOWING THE LAST GAME VS THE SUNS AND ENDING UP WITH THE 3RD SEED. BUT THAT JUST MAKES THEM SCRAPPIER! I'M WAY TOO HIPSTER ROOT FOR THE #1 SEED. THE ONLY DOWNSIDE TO A WOLVES TITLE IS THAT IT WOULD RUIN MY RUNNING JOKE THAT MINNESOTA SOLD THEIR SOUL FOR A 1991 TWINS TITLE AND ALL THEIR TEAMS WILL FAIL MISERABLY UNTIL THE SOUL OF KENT HRBEK IS DRAGGED DOWN TO HELL. NO ONE LIKES THAT JOKE BUT IT MAKES ME LAUGH

THIS ISN'T TECHNICALLY AN INSERT AS IT'S FROM THE 1992-93 UPPER DECK TEAM MVP HOLOGRAM SET. BUT REALLY, WOULD YOU RATHER SEE THIS OR SOME JUNKY INSERT OF CHRISTIAN LAETTNER OR ISAIAH RIDER. I WASN'T LUCKY ENOUGH TO PULL COOL GARNETT INSERTS

PHILADELPHIA 76ERS

I HAVE A SOFT SPOT FOR PHILADELPHIA EVEN THOUGH THEY KEEP RUINING MY LIFE. THE SIXERS HAVE BEEN AS BIG A TRAINWRECK AS THE HAWKS THIS YEAR THOUGH AND ARE ALSO IN THE PLAY-IN. THIS HAS CAUSED MY HAWKS GAME TO GET PUSHED TO 9:30PM BECAUSE OF A HOCKEY GAME, GRRR. IT WOULD BE FUN TO SEE EMBIID IN THE FINALS THOUGH, ASSUMING HE CAN STAY HEALTHY THAT LONG

THIS WAS AN INSERT IN 1996-97 ULTRA AND WAS KINDA TOUGH AT 1:72 PACKS. IT'S SUPER NICE LOOKING THOUGH, THIS JERSEY GIMMICK HAS BEEN DONE NUMEROUS TIMES AND THIS MIGHT BE THE BEST OF THE BUNCH. I JUST REALIZED THIS IS A ROOKIE YEAR INSERT AND CHECKED SOME PRICES AND UH, THIS NEEDS TO GO INTO THE SPECIAL BOX WHAT WITH THE LOCKS ON IT

SACRAMENTO KINGS

IF THE KINGS MADE THE PLAYOFFS THIS SEASON THE HAWKS GOT THEIR 1ST ROUND PICK FROM THE KEVIN HUERTER SALARY DUMP TRADE. AFTER BEING IN THE TOP 6 MOST OF THE YEAR, THEY POOPED OUT AT THE END AND NOW ARE IN THE PLAY-IN HAVING TO BEAT THE WARRIORS JUST TO STAY ALIVE. I'M BEGINNING TO HATE SACRAMENTO, BUT I WANT THAT DAMN DRAFT PICK SO I'LL ROOT FOR THEM 

DID YOU KNOW HOOPS BECAME SKYBOX AT SOME POINT IN THE 90S? DID YOU ALSO KNOW THAT THIS CARD IS SUPPOSED TO BE REPRESENTING A COMPUTER MONITOR? IF THE OBSCURED COLOR DISPLAY/20 DIDN'T KEY YOU IN, PERHAPS THE SMOKY YELLOW BORDER REPRESENTING A CRT MONITOR PLASTIC THAT SOAKED UP FIVE YEARS OF CIGARETTE SMOKE DID. I STILL HAVE ONE OF THOSE MONITORS IN THE BASEMENT SOMEWHERE

LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS

AH, THE CLIPPERS. THE NBA FRANCHISE THAT MAKES THE TIMBERWOLVES LOOK LIKE THEY WERE BLESSED BY ANGELS. I DON'T HAVE A TON OF OPINIONS ON WESTERN CONFERENCE TEAMS BUT IT WOULD BE FUN FOR THE WORST FRANCHISE EVER TO WIN A TITLE JUST SO THREE FUTURE HALL OF FAMERS COULD HAVE THAT ON THEIR RESUME

I KINDA GOOFED ON THIS CARD AS 2000-01 FLEER FUTURES IS NOT A 90S INSERT AND ALSO NOT A PRODUCT ANYONE'S EVER HEARD OF BEFORE. BUT LOOK AT THAT GIGANTIC HOLOFOIL SEAM OVER ON THE RIGHT. IT ELEVATES AN ALREADY DECENT LOOKING CARD TO ANOTHER LEVEL

LOS ANGELES LAKERS

I LIKE THE LAKERS ABOUT AS MUCH AS THE CELTICS. THESE GUYS WOULD NORMALLY BE MUCH LOWER BUT PEOPLE ARE SO MAD THAT LEBRON IS THE ALL TIME SCORING LEADER NOW THAT YET ANOTHER TITLE FOR HIM IS GONNA MAKE THEM EVEN MADDER. IF A TEAM I DON'T LIKE IS GONNA WIN A CHAMPIONSHIP ANYWAY IT MAY AS WELL CAUSE A LOT OF CHAOS

WOOO A 1999-00 TOPPS KOBE INSERT! IT'S GOT A BAD CORNER AND IS NOT A REFRACTOR SO IT WON'T PAY OFF MY PHONE BILL YET. I AM GLAD I GOT A FEW OF THESE BACK IN THE DAY BECAUSE I SURE CAN'T AFFORD THEM NOW

NEW YORK KNICKS

THESE GUYS SHOULD BE MUCH HIGHER AS THEY HAVEN'T WON A CHAMPIONSHIP SINCE I WAS A BABY. BUT NEW YORK TEAMS ARE ALL SPLIT INTO TWO GROUPS OF ONE SNOOTY ARISTOCRATIC TEAM AND ONE WORKING CLASS SAD SACK TEAM AND THIS IS THE NBA ARISTOCRATS TEAM. I WON'T BE MAD IF THEY WIN, BUT WHEN THEY LOSE I'LL HAVE A GOOD CHUCKLE AT ALL THE MISERABLE "FUCK TRAE YOUNG" CHANTERS OUT THERE

1995-96 SKYBOX WENT INSANE WITH THE FOIL INSERTS AND THIS CARD IS NO EXCEPTION. I GUESS THEY SPENT ALL THAT MONEY ON THE METAL UNIVERSE TECHNOLOGY SO THEY HAD TO USE IT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. JOHN STARKS SEEMED TO ME TO BE THE QUINTESSENTIAL KNICKS PLAYOFF PLAYER AS WELL 

OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER

THE FIRST OF TWO TEAMS THAT DIDN'T TECHNICALLY EXIST IN THE 90S. I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST OKLAHOMA CITY, IT WAS A VERY NICE PLACE WHEN I VISITED. BUT I'M STILL A LITTLE MAD THAT THE SUPERSONICS DIED SO I'M SOMEWHAT CONFLICTED. THEY ARE A VERY GOOD TEAM AND MIGHT ACTUALLY WIN IT ALL SO I BETTER MAKE MY PEACE WITH THE SITUATION QUICK

1995-96 HOOPS WAS SUCH A WEIRD SET. THE BASE CARDS WERE BASIC AS HELL BUT THEN THE INSERTS WERE ALL COMPUTER GENERATED NIGHTMARE VISIONS. I WILL SOON BE SAYING SIMILAR THINGS ABOUT THE 1994-95 VERSION BUT 95-96 REALLY WENT OUT OF CONTROL. POOR DETLEF SCHREMPF IS GETTING HIS SHOT BLOCKED BY HIS OWN JERSEY NUMBER WHILE ORBS HUNT HIM DOWN WITH INTENT TO MURDER

I'M NOT KIDDING, LOOK HOW TERRIFIED DETLEF IS ON THE BACK

DENVER NUGGETS

LIKE WITH THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS IN THE PREVIOUS FOOTBALL PLAYOFF POST, THE NUGGETS WOULD BE MUCH, MUCH HIGHER HAD THEY NOT JUST WON A CHAMPIONSHIP. I LOVE JOKIC BUT THE NBA IS EVEN MORE SUSCEPTIBLE TO DECADES-LONG DYNASTIES POPPING UP OUT OF NOWHERE AND I DON'T NEED THAT SHIT UNLESS IT'S MY TEAM THAT IS THE ONE STOMPING EVERYONE ELSE'S GUTS. ONE TITLE IS FINE, BUT TWO IN A ROW MIGHT HAVE SILVER GETTING SOME IDEAS

CLEAR ACETATE VAPORWAVE 1994-95 STADIUM CLUB MUTOMBO INSERT IS BY FAR THE BEST INSERT IN THIS POST SO IF YOU ARE TIRED OF HEARING MY NBA GRIEVANCES (AND NOT EVEN ON FESTIVUS!) I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO  JUST LOOK AT THE PRETTY CARDS AND SCROLL THROUGH THE REST. LIKE YOU WEREN'T DOING THAT ALREADY, LOL

ORLANDO MAGIC

IF IT WEREN'T FOR SHAQ I WOULDN'T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT THE MAGIC AT ALL. I'M COMPLETELY FED UP WITH FLORIDA TEAMS IN GENERAL AT THE MOMENT SO I WOULDN'T MIND IF THESE GUYS WERE BOUNCED IN THE FIRST ROUND. WHO ARE THEY PLAYING? OH. THE NEXT TEAM ON THE LIST. SIGH

I LOVE BASKETBALL CARDS WITH WOOD COURT DESIGNS. I LOVE CARDS WITH GIGANTIC TEAM LOGO. AND I LOVE SOME SHAQ-FU. THIS CARD GOTS THE TRIFECTA

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS

THE CAVALIERS WERE ANOTHER TRAINWRECK DOGSHIT FRANCHISE THAT MADE ME FEEL A LITTLE BETTER ABOUT MY OWN FAVORITE TRAINWRECK DOGSHIT FRANCHISE. THEN THEY GOT LEBRON, WON EXACTLY ONE (1) CHAMPIONSHIP AND NOW THEY ARE BACK TO MERELY TRAINWRECK. LEBRON'S GONE, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS TEAM 

YET ANOTHER EMBOSSED INSERT CARD FROM FLEER, THIS TIME 97-98 ULTRA. I DON'T RECALL SEEING A BASKETBALL HOOP USED IN QUITE THIS WAY ON ANOTHER BASKETBALL CARD. ADD THIS TO THOSE 90S CAVS UNIFORMS AND THERE'S ALMOST TOO MUCH ON THIS CARD

PHOENIX SUNS

THE SUNS WERE FUN WHEN THEY HAD CHRIS PAUL AND HOMETOWN HERO DEANDRE AYTON. NOW THEY'RE GONE AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE ROOTING FOR KEVIN DURANT ANYMORE. "A RING FOR BOL BOL" IS NOT ENOUGH TO GET ME TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT THE SUNS

I'M SHOWING AN ABSURD AMOUNT OF ULTRA INSERTS BECAUSE ULTRA HAD THE BEST INSERTS. THIS 94-95 CARD FEATURES GOLD GLITTER EMBEDDED IN THE COATING THAT MAKES THE NEON EXPLOSION BEHIND SIR CHARLES EVEN MORE AMAZING. THE PHOTO DOESN'T DO IT JUSTICE. FLEER USED THE SAME EFFECT ON THEIR 1995 TEAM LEADERS INSERTS

INDIANA PACERS

I MENTIONED EARLIER THAT OKLAHOMA CITY WAS ONE OF THE NICEST CITIES I'VE VISITED. INDIANAPOLIS WAS THE MOST BORING. GRANTED, I WAS THERE FOR ONE NIGHT 25 YEARS AGO AND THE WHOLE TOWN HAD CLOSED FOR THE EVENING BY THE TIME I GOT THERE BUT THAT'S MY IMPRESSION. MEH 

SOMEONE AT FLEER DISCOVERED THE CUT AND PASTE FUNCTION ON HIS MAC AND JUST WENT WILD

NEW ORLEANS PELICANS

NEW ORLEANS IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE NBA'S TWO WORST TEAM NAMES WITH THE BOBCATS AND PELICANS SO I'M NOT TOO KEEN ON THE FRANCHISE IN GENERAL. THEY'VE GOT SOME GREAT PLAYERS AND IT'S FUN THAT ZION IS ACTUALLY HEALTHY FOR ONCE BUT... UGH. THANKFULLY THIS IS THE LAST TEAM I HAVE ZERO MEANINGFUL OPINION ON, THE REST I GOT GRUDGES

IF YOU THINK THIS CARD IS EXCESSIVELY BUSY, YOU SHOULD SEE THE ONES THAT LOOK JUST LIKE THIS BUT WITH TEXTURED FOIL. THE SHOE TREAD DESIGN IS KINDA COOL THOUGH, YOU DON'T SEE THAT EVERY DAY

GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS

THEY ALREADY GOT 28 CHAMPIONSHIPS THIS CENTURY THEY DON'T NEED ANY MORE. AND AL HORFORD WOULD HAVE A RING ALREADY IF IT WEREN'T FOR THEM. AND THEY'RE GONNA BEAT THE KINGS AND COST THE HAWKS A DRAFT PICK. BLEARGH. SCREW THE WARRIORS

I REALLY REALLY DO LIKE THESE EARLIER MINIMALISTIC FLEER INSTERS. JUST A BOLD NEON OUTLINE OF A BASKETBALL COURT, VERY PRETTY. WAIT... IS THIS THE COURT THEY CUT AND PASTED FOR THAT REGGIE MILLER CARD?

DALLAS MAVERICKS

LUKA DONCIC IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE IN THE NBA FINALS UNLESS HE IS FACING TRAE YOUNG AND THE HAWKS. SORRY, THEM'S THE RULES. THE HAWKS ARE LOTTERY BOUND THIS YEAR SO SORRY DALLAS, ENJOY YOUR RANGERS TITLE BECAUSE THE MAVS ARE FORBIDDEN TO MAKE IT OUT OF THE FIRST ROUND

95-96 WENT CRAZY WITH THE COMPUTER GRAPHICS BUT 1994-95 HOOPS DID THE SAME WITH THE FOIL. LOOK AT THIS! RAINBOW SUPERFRACTOR DESIGN ETCHED FOIL THAT COVERS HALF THE CARD. THE RAINBOW IS ALL RANDOM DEPENDING ON WHEN IT WAS STAMPED ON THE CARD SO NO TWO CARDS ARE EXACTLY ALIKE EITHER. PLUS THERE'S A SILVER FOIL PARALLEL. AND ALL OF IT HAS SUFFERED FROM THE FOIL ROT THAT PLAGUED A LOT OF SETS FROM THE 90S SO YOU MIGHT SEE SOME CHUNKS RANDOMLY MISSING. THIS SET IS AWESOME, I'D COLLECT IT ALL IF I HAD SEEN EVEN A SINGLE CARD OF IT FOR SALE SINCE I RIPPED THESE HOOPS PACKS THIRTY YEARS AGO

MIAMI HEAT

THE MIAMI HEAT ARE MY #2 FLORIDA PAIN IN THE ASS TEAMS SECOND ONLY TO THE MIAMI MARLINS AND YOU KNOW WHAT A PAIN IN THE ASS THEY ARE. NOT ONLY DO THEY HAVE A BUNCH OF CHAMPIONSHIPS AND BEAT UP ON MY POOR HAWKS REGULARLY BUT THEY ALSO RUINED AL HORFORD'S CHANCE TO GET A RING LAST YEAR. OOOOH HOW I HATES THEM. THEY ADMITTEDLY HAVE NEVER THROWN A BEANBALL AT RONALD ACUÑA JR. AT LEAST

HA HA, REMEMBER WHEN THIS GUY WAS KNOWN AS BABY JORDAN? SPEAKING OF JORDAN

CHICAGO BULLS

I NORMALLY DON'T MIND THE BULLS NOW THAT THEY SUCK, BUT THE HAWKS GOTTA BEAT THEM TO KEEP UP THEIR PERFECT PLAY-IN GAME RECORD SO THEY CAN GO JUMP IN LAKE MICHIGAN. I FEEL A LITTLE BAD BECAUSE BULLS FANS ONLINE SEEM TO BE SUFFERING IN DESPAIR TO AN ALMOST WORRYING EXTENT, EVEN WORSE THAN THE PANICKY HAWKS CROWD CURRENTLY MELTING DOWN BECAUSE VIT KREJCI WAS LEFT OFF THE PLAYOFF ROSTER. I GUESS THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR TEAM WAS THE BEST OF ALL TIME THIRTY YEARS AGO AND HAVEN'T DONE SQUAT SINCE. DON'T CARE, I AM NOT INTERSTED IN RANDOMIZING TANKATHON A THOUSAND TIMES SEEING IF I CAN GET THE HAWKS THE #1 PICK IN THE LOTTERY, THEY GOTTA GO DOWN

SEEING ALL THE JORDAN INSERTS IN MY BASKETBALL BOX RILED UP ALL MY ANCIENT GRUDGES BUT I LIKED THIS ONE BECAUSE THE ODD SHADOWS MAKE IT LOOK LIKE MICHAEL HAS GOOGLY EYES

PREDICTION TIME! CELTICS OVER WOLVES WOULD MAKE ME VERY HAPPY. BUT IT'S A PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION YEAR SO I'M NOT ALLOWED TO BE HAPPY. NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO BE HAPPY EVER AGAIN. A PLAY-IN TEAM IS NOT GETTING TO THE FINALS TWO YEARS IN A ROW SO IT'S GOTTA BE

MAVERICKS OVER PACERS IN SIX

ENJOY THE HOOPIES KIDDOS! OR AT LEAST THE ONE GUY WHO READS THIS BLOG WHO ACTUALLY ENJOYS BASKETBALL. YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE LEFT READING THIS SO THANKS FOR THAT! 

WOOOOOO PLAYOFFS

SO I HATE THE FUCKIN PLAYOFFS. I LOVE HAVING A NICE REGULAR SEASON GAME PLAYING ALMOST EVERY NIGHT, THE RADIO BROADCASTERS DRONING ALONG WHILE I DO WHATEVER. IF WE SCORE, HOORAY! IF THEY SCORE, OH WELL. IT'S A REGULAR SEASON GAME, THERE'S NOT REALLY ANY PRESSURE. THEN THE SEASON WINDS DOWN AND PEOPLE START TALLYING MAGIC NUMBERS AND IT'S NOT AS RELAXING. THEN THE SEASON ACTUALLY ENDS! HORRORS! NO MORE RELAXING GAMES! AND YOU WANT MORE BASEBALL SO YOU HOPE YOUR TEAM MADE IT BUT THEN ALL THE GAMES ARE THE OPPOSITE OF RELAXING. YOU NEED TO WIN EVERY GAME BECAUSE IF YOU LOSE TOO MANY THEN YOU GET NO MORE BASEBALL. FOR YOUR TEAM AT LEAST. BUT DO YOU EVEN REALLY WANT TO LISTEN TO THOSE TEAMS THAT ARE LEFT? THE ONES BETTER THAN YOURS? THE ONE THAT BEAT YOU AND LEFT YOU A NERVOUS BROKEN WRECK? WELL YOU BETTER BECAUSE OTHERWISE THERE'S NO BASEBALL!!! THEN THE WORLD SERIES HAPPENS AND SOME BASTARD TEAM WINS AND THERE'S REALLY NO MORE DAMN BASEBALL! AND EVEN IF YOUR TEAM IS THE CHEATING ROTTEN BASTARD TEAM THEN YOU MERELY GET TO CELEBRATE FOR A COUPLE DAYS AND THEN ONCE THEY ARE SWEEPING UP AFTER THE PARADE, THERE IT IS. NO MORE BASEBALL. HORRIBLE

BUT MY TEAM IS STILL IN IT AND EVEN THOUGH IT'S PAINFUL AND AWFUL IT'S STILL BASEBALL AND I GOTTA LISTEN TO IT. AS MUCH AS I CAN BECAUSE THERE AIN'T MUCH LEFT AND I NEED TO FATTEN UP ON BASEBALL FOR THE WINTER LIKE ONE OF THOSE BEARS THE FOREST SERVICE TWEETS ABOUT. SO IF I'M GONNA LISTEN I MIGHT AS WELL ROOT FOR SOME TEAMS, RIGHT? HERE'S MY FAVORITE PLAYOFF TEAMS RANKED FROM THE VERY BESTEST TO THE YUCKY UGLY STINKY ONES, PTOOEY. ILLUSTRATED BY SOME RANDOM CARDS I PULLED OUT OF SOME BOXES BY MY DESK THAT KINDA SORTA MATCH HOW I FEEL ABOUT THE TEAM

BRAVES

WELL DUH. BRAVES ON TOP. THE ONLY SURPRISE HERE IS I DIDN'T SHOW A CARD OF RONALD ACUÑA. I DON'T HAVE A RONALD CARD THIS PRETTY YET THOUGH. E-X 2000 IS ONE OF THOSE SETS I NEVER EVEN CONSIDERED COMPLETING BEFORE AND NOW THAT I AM PUTTING MY MIND TO IT I'M FINDING RANDOM CARDS HERE AND THERE IN PLAYER BOXES AND INSERT BOXES AND JUST PLAIN OL JUNK BOXES. I LOVE THEM ALL, THEY ARE SO PRETTY. JUST LIKE ALL THE DINGERS OUR LINEUP CAN HIT IN THE PLAYOFFS. AND ALL THOSE STRIKEOUTS OUR PITCHING STAFF CAN THROW BY PEOPLE. AND ALL THOSE WEB GEMS OUR FIELDERS CAN PICK OUT OF THIN AIR. OH HOW SWEET IT SHALL BE. THE BRAVES DON'T PLAY UNTIL SATURDAY SO I CAN STILL DREAM NOW. DREAM OF WONDERFUL THINGS. THEN THE GAME WILL START AND IT'S HORRIBLE PAINFUL ANXIETY UNTIL OUR UNTIMELY DEATH 

AH, PLAYOFFS.

BREWERS

I'VE ALWAYS FELT GOOD VIBES TOWARDS THE BREWERS. MY TEAM USED TO PLAY IN MILWAUKEE AFTER ALL AND HANK HERE RETURNED TO CAP HIS CAREER. AND THEY HAD A COOL LOGO EVEN THOUGH IT DIDN'T CLICK FOR ME THAT IT WASN'T JUST A BASEBALL GLOVE FOR YEARS. THEY HAD SOME REAL DOGSHIT TEAMS FOR A WHILE BUT RECENTLY THEY'VE GOTTEN THEIR ACT TOGETHER AND HAVE BECOME SURPRISINGLY COMPETENT! ALTHOUGH PROBABLY MILDLY CURSED. I'M STARTING TO THINK BUD SELIG PISSED OFF A WITCH. OR MAYBE A COVEN. HOW THE HELL DID THEY LOSE WOODRUFF FOR THE PLAYOFFS WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN. LITERALLY THE ONLY TEAM I WOULDN'T MIND THAT MUCH IF THEY BEAT THE BRAVES AND THEY'RE PROBABLY ALREADY SCREWED. UGH, BASEBALL

THIS IS A PROMO CARD FOR MATTHEW PRIGGE'S BOOK OPENING DAY IN MILWAUKEE. I GOT THIS IN A LITERAL BOX OF JUNK I BOUGHT FROM HIM THIS SUMMER THAT I AM STILL STRUGGLING TO WRESTLE INTO A BLOG POST. GO CHECK OUT HIS WEBSITE WHILE I TRY TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO CUT DOWN A FEW HUNDRED CARDS AND A BUNCH OF RANDOM CRAP INTO SOMETHING REASONABLE

ASTROS

I KNOW EVERYBODY HATES THEM, I DON'T CARE. DUSTY BAKER IS AWESOME AND I LOVE JOSE ALTUVE AND MY ONLY GOOD LITTLE LEAGUE TEAM WAS THE ASTROS AND I'LL LIKE WHOEVER I WANT. IF YOUR TEAM GOT SCREWED BY THEM I'M SORRY BUT YOUR TEAM SCREWED MY TEAM A FEW TIMES TOO. IT'S BASEBALL, EVERYONE GETS SCREWED SOONER OR LATER, USUALLY SOONER. I NEEDED TO SHOW OF AN ALTUVE CARD HERE BECAUSE HE JUST MAKES ME HAPPY. I THINK THIS MIGHT BE THE FIRST INSERT OF HIS I PULLED FROM A PACK. THE REASON I DIDN'T SHOW OFF ANY SHINIER CARDS OF HIS IS THAT I'M PRETTY SURE I'VE POSTED ALL THE GOOD ONES I HAVE ALREADY

ORIOLES

NORMALLY I'M A LITTLE NEUTRAL ON THE O'S. I DON'T REALLY CARE THAT MUCH ABOUT THE TEAM BUT THE BRIGHT ORANGE IS PLEASING AND I LIKE THE CARTOONY MASCOT. THE REASON THEY ARE AS HIGH AS THEY ARE ON THE LIST IS MOSTLY NOVELTY SINCE THEY'VE SUCKED FOR QUITE A WHILE. IF THEY MAKE A DEEP PLAYOFF RUN AND KEEP WINNING A HUNDRED GAMES EVERY SEASON I'LL PROBABLY GET SICK OF THEM REAL QUICK

THESE ARE SOME COLGAN'S CHIPS INSERT CARDS THAT WERE FOUND IN 2013 PANINI COOPERSTOWN PACKS. I WISH I HAD BOUGHT MORE OF THAT STUFF, IT WAS PRETTY NICE AND ONE OF THE LAST LEGENDS SETS UP UNTIL THIS YEAR'S PANINI PROSPECT-LEGEND HYBRIDS

PHILLIES

YOU'D THINK I WOULDN'T LIKE THE TEAM THAT BOUNCED THE BRAVES LAST YEAR (AND IN 1993, COME TO THINK OF IT) BUT I'VE ALWAYS LIKED THE PHILS. I HAVE RELATIVES FROM PHILADELPHIA AND THEY GAVE ME A PHILLIES CAP WHEN I WAS A KID THAT WAS WORN CONSTANTLY UNTIL MY MOM FINALLY BRIBED ME TO THROW THE THING OUT. BESIDES, THEY ARE THE LOSINGEST FRANCHISE IN THE HISTORY OF SPORTS AND I LIKE A GOOD UNDERDOG. THEY CAN GO STRAIGHT TO HELL IN THE NLDS BUT I STILL LIKE EM

THIS 2001 POST CEREAL CARD IS FRIGGIN AWESOME, 500 HOME RUN HITTERS ON A WOOD GRAIN BORDER CARD THAT LOOKS MORE LIKE A BAT AND LESS LIKE THE PANELING IN YOUR GRANDMA'S DEN. AND IT'S ON ACTUAL CEREAL-BOX STYLE CARDBOARD JUST LIKE BACK IN THE 80S ALTHOUGH IT'S HARD TO TELL WITH THE FULL-COLOR PRINTED BACKS. IT'S ONLY AN EIGHT CARD SET, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND PICKING ONE OR ALL OF THEM UP, THEY REALLY LOOK GREAT

RAYS

I LIKED THE RAYS FOR A LONG TIME, ESPECIALLY THE EVAN LONGORIA ERA TEAM. BUT THEY JUST KEEP CHUGGING ALONG BEING VERY GOOD FOR VERY CHEAP IN THAT ROTTEN STADIUM OF THEIRS AND IT'S GETTING TEDIOUS. ESPECIALLY WITH ALL THE CALAMATIES THAT HAVE HIT THE TEAM THIS YEAR. SPEND A LITTLE FUCKIN MONEY IN THE PAST TWENTY YEARS AND MAYBE THEY HAVE A CHIP BY NOW. VERY DISAPPOINTING, LIKE THIS NUMBER ONE OVERALL PICK ON A DREADFUL AWFUL GENERATION NOW MIRROR SET CARD

BLUE JAYS

I REALLY LIKED THE JAYS BACK IN THE 80S AND HAD ONE OF THEIR CAPS AS WELL THAT WAS NOT QUITE AS WORN INTO THE GROUND AS THE PHILLIES HAT SINCE I HAD SEVERAL CAPS IN ROTATION BY THEN. THEN THEY RUINED MY LIFE IN 1992 AND WERE CHAMPIONS ENTIRELY TOO LONG AND HAVEN'T DONE MUCH OF ANYTHING SINCE. I LIKE SOME CURRENT PLAYERS THOUGH LIKE VLAD JR. AND SPRINGER, BUT THEY'RE STILL NOT DOING MUCH OF ANYTHING. MASCOT CARDS ARE GREAT AND MASCOT HOLOGRAMS LIKE THIS ONE FROM 1993 UD FUN PACK IS JUST FANTASTIC

TWINS

SENATORS BECAME TWINS SO WALTER JOHNSON COUNTS. SPEAKING OF TEAMS THAT RUINED MY LIFE, IT'S A WONDER THESE GUYS AREN'T LOWER BUT THEIR RECENT FUTILITY HELPED THEM BUBBLE UP A BIT. SPEAKING OF THAT LOSING STREAK I HAD A GOOD JOKE ABOUT HOW WALTER JOHNSON WON THEIR LAST PLAYOFF GAME BUT THEY FUCKED THAT UP LAST NIGHT. I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT YEAR THESE STAMPS CAME OUT, BUT I BOUGHT A SET OF FIRST DAY ISSUE ENVELOPES WHICH ARE PROBABLY NOW WORTH A WHOLE LOTTA NOTHING AND THEN LATER GOT THIS ONE IN THE MAIL ON A PWE PACKAGE. OH WAIT, IT SAYS 2000 RIGHT ON THE STAMP. WELL THERE YA GO. "BEFORE THE TWINS WON THEIR LAST PLAYOFF GAME" IS ANOTHER JOKE THE TWINS STOLE FROM ME

DODGERS

HONESTLY THIS SHOULD BE THE TEAM AT THE BOTTOM OF THE LIST SINCE THEY'VE PUNCHED THE BRAVES RIGHT IN THE MOUTH SO MANY TIMES IN THE PAST 40 YEARS, BUT I'M NOT FEELING THE BURNING HATE FOR THEM RIGHT NOW. THEIR PITCHING STAFF IS CLAYTON KERSHAW AND A BIG MESS. I KINDA LOVE MOOKIE ALTHOUGH I GOT MAD WHEN HE STARTED SNIFFING AROUND RONALD'S MVP TROPHY AND AS MUCH AS I LIKE TO LAUGH AT FREDDIE I DON'T KNOW IF I'LL EVER HAVE THE CAPACITY TO ACTUALLY HATE HIM. SPORTS HATE IS A VISCERAL THING AND I'M JUST NOT FEELING IT THIS YEAR EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE THE TEAM MOST LIKELY TO BUMP US OFF. I'LL FEEL IT AFTER, OH BOY WILL I FEEL IT THEN. BUT NOT RIGHT NOW. THIS HIDEO NOMO CARD IS REALLY WILD LOOKING, IS FROM A SET I LOVE, AND IS ALSO A REMINDER THAT NOMO SWIPED THE ROOKIE OF THE YEAR AWAY FROM CHIPPER. NOT TO MENTION A REMINDER THAT HE DESERVED IT WHICH IS ALL THE MORE AGGRAVATING

MARLINS

UGH, THE MARLINS. HERE'S WHERE I START FEELING IT. AS A BRAVES FAN THE MARLINS HAVE BEEN AN ENORMOUS PAIN IN THE REAR FOR 25 YEARS. FROM THE RIDICULOUS 1997 NLCS TO THE TEAR DOWN AND SECOND FLUKE CHAMPIONSHIP TO JUST BEING ANNOYING PISSANTS IN THE NL EAST AND ALL THE TIMES THEY'VE TRIED TO MURDER ACUÑA I JUST... ARGH. THE MARLINS IRRITATE THE SHIT OUT OF ME. BLECCH, PTUI. THE MARLINS MAKE ME FEEL LIKE THIS BAD REHASH OF STADIUM CLUB TRIUMVERATE CARDS IN 2013. THE ORIGINAL SETS WERE INTRICATE AND CLEVER, THIS IS JUST A BLOCKY UNINTERESTING LUMP OF PLASTIC. DISAPPOINTING

RANGERS

THE RANGERS ARE WEIRD, THEY'VE NEVER BEEN PARTICULARLY ON MY RADAR AND I HAVE MOSTLY HAD NO FEELINGS ABOUT THEM IF ANYTHING. I LIKED THEIR PRE-1983 CARTOONY LOGO BUT BARELY KNEW WHO PLAYED FOR THEM UP UNTIL NOLAN RYAN SHOWED UP. I KINDA LIKED SOME 90S PLAYERS LIKE JUAN GONZALEZ, RUBEN SIERRA AND JULIO FRANCO BUT AGAIN QUICKLY FORGOT ABOUT THEM WHEN THEY MOVED ON. THEN THEY WENT TO THE WORLD SERIES! AND BLEW A CHAMPIONSHIP FOR RON WASHINGTON. BACK TO OBSCURITY. NOW THEY ARE TRYING TO BUY A TITLE AND IT'S KINDA WORKING A LITTLE BIT? NO SIR, I DON'T LIKE IT. PLUS THEY EXILED RONALD'S BROTHER TO GET RUINED BY THE METS. BOO! I DO NOT LIKE IT RANGERS! THIS TERRIBLE CARD MATCHES MY FEELINGS FOR THE CURRENT RANGERS. LIKE, I GET THEY WERE GOING FOR AN ARCHEOLOGY THEME FOR THIS SET BUT ACTUAL DIRT BORDERS? THE HELL WAS GOING ON AT UPPER DECK WHEN THIS WAS GREENLIT

DIAMONDBACKS

I HAVE AN IRRATIONAL DISLIKE OF ARIZONA TEAMS. I CAN GIVE YOU TONS OF PERFECTLY LOGICAL REASONS WHY I DON'T LIKE THEM BUT IT'S JUST ME MAKING EXCUSES FOR MY NONSENSE. THE DIAMONDBACKS BOUGHT THEIR WAY TO A TITLE AND DIDN'T SUFFER LIKE EXPANSION TEAMS SHOULD. STEALING THE CARDINALS FROM ST. LOUIS HELPED KICK OFF THE LOS ANGELES NFL MERRY-GO-ROUND. THIEVING THE WINNIPEG JETS EVENTUALLY LED TO MY HOCKEY TEAM GETTING SNATCHED! GRRRRRR! SUNS ARE AIIGHT I GUESS. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THEY DUMPED AYTON BUT THEY'RE FINE. BUT IT'S TOO DAMN HOT IN ARIZONA. I DON'T EVEN LIKE THINKING ABOUT ANYPLACE BEING THAT HOT. SO THERE'S SOME REASONS BUT IT'S REALLY JUST ME BEING A HATER AND FUCK THE DIAMONDBACKS AND THEIR 700 DIFFERENT UGLY UNIFORMS. CORBIN CARROLL'S COOL THOUGH, HE'S REALLY FUN TO WATCH. HOPEFULLY WATCH LOSE. ANYWAY I PICKED THIS CARD BECAUSE THE FIRST ONE THAT CAME TO MIND WAS AN EARLY 00S DONRUSS RELIC CARD OF C*RT SCH*LL*NG BECAUSE MY DISDAIN OF THAT JERK MATCHES MY DISDAIN FOR THE SNAKES BUT I COULDN'T BEAR TO PUT THAT FOOL ON THIS WEBSITE. INSTEAD HERE'S A BOWMAN HERITAGE CARD OF DANNY BAUTISTA THAT HAS BEEN PUT ASIDE IN A PACKAGE FOR CARDS ON CARDS. I'LL SEND IT EVENTUALLY, I SWEAR

NOW YOU KNOW MY PLAYOFF FAVORITES. IF I HATE YOUR TEAM, THEN GOOD! YOU FEEL FREE TO HATE MY TEAM IN RETURN. BASEBALL HATE IS GOOD, ESPECIALLY IN THE PLAYOFFS. LET THE HATE FLOW THROUGH YOU. IF I LIKE YOUR TEAM, I'M SORRY! I'M ALREADY 1-3 FOR MY FAVORITES SO FAR AND THINGS WILL PROBABLY GET WORSE. I FULLY EXPECT TO SEE THAT RANGERS-DBACKS DISASTER SERIES AT THE END OF THIS TORTURE. PLAYOFF BASEBALL IS SO TERRIBLE AND AWFUL GUYS, WHY DO WE DO THIS