WOOOOO! This is the trading card version of The Pirate Bay! Buying a pack of this stuff is like downloading the MLB's precious intellectual property in a big ol' 18 card torrent! Rock on! Up the establishment! When I plucked down 6 bucks for two packs of this stuff at Wal-Mart I practically committed a half a dozen felonies! LET'S OPEN THIS PUPPY! BREAKIN' THE LAW, BREAKIN' THE LAW!!!
Yeah!!! Some Reds rookie dude! You can tell he's a rookie because he has words instead of a face with stars over it and a rookie card logo UD borrowed from their NFL Draft set!
Here's the back! It's really boring! But kinda soothing! Simple and boxy, but not quite as Piet Mondrian boxy as last year! Simple and efficient is SO VERY METAL! UD won't use the team name on the front, but the copy writers just don't give a crap! SHOCKING!
Wladimir! Another Red! You know who else were Reds? COMMUNISTS! Richard McWilliam is wearing a Che Guevara T-Shirt RIGHT NOW
Jack Cust! Poster Child for Three True Outcomes! You see a lot of jersey backs in this set! Let's look at this card back!
I picked this one because of Jack's cool shades! No other reason! I'm getting tired of yelling!
BUT I'M SO EXCITED
AND I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT
Victorino! He kicks the Braves' ass EVERY TIME WE PLAY. He's running here! Running to KICK OUR ASS
Daniel Bard is sad. Sad that the MLB supports Monopolies. Teddy Roosevelt was a Great American and he busted up Monopolies. Why does the MLB hate America? Daniel Bard just doesn't know.
I'm yelling again! I don't know who this is! He has a Padres Camo jersey though! The MLB will likely argue in their suit that Upper Deck violated their inellexshuall pooperty because the Padres' Camo uni is their trademark!
THAT IS WRONG MLB
CAMO IS THE ARMY'S PROPERTY
DO NOT MESS WITH THE ARMY
THEY WILL SHOOT YOU
THEY HAVE GUNS
TEK!!! IN FULL CATCHER'S GEAR!!!!! CARDGASM!!!!!!!!!!
Eh, some Met. Some Met who led the team in home runs. With 12. Ha! Ha!
HEEEEEEEE-WACK! AN INSERT! DOCUMENTARY PART DEAUX! Oh wait, that sucks. At least I haven't sent those cards to Troll yet. Another Ray for Marck! Man they didn't even try with these logos. YEEEEEAAAHHHH TAKE THAT PIGS
Eh, inserts don't count anyway.
Another insert! Joltin' Joe! In the... same damn Heroes design UD has been throwing at us for years and years. Ugh. I thought there were die cuts in this set??
Dan Haren. The most boring Ace ever. Wait.. or is that Brandon Webb? I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE
There's a whole lotta white jersey on that card...
Yay! Chutley! FANTASTIC photo! Chase in full swing! Beautiful dirt, grass and chalk perspective lines! Mesmerizing empty seat patterns in the background! Upper Deck forgetting that the logo on a catcher's helmet is in the back! That ungodly mess is barely a logo anyway, it looks like someone threw a squishy tomato at Brian Schnieder's head.
White, white jersey as far as the eye can see... It looks like a pack of Triple Threads...
To be fair there's not really any way logos are gonna help out a Ramon Vazquez card.
WAIT, PIRATES! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR AVAST YE SCURVY DOGS AND GIVE US YER LICENSE OR BUD SELIG HERE WALKS THE PLANK
Oh wait, you don't mind if Bud walks the plank...?
awkwaaaaard
Kerry Woooooo yeah there's like half a team name and maybe a quarter of Chief Wahoo's face on the cap totally effing rad you go UD stick it to the... man? Oy Gevalt, this is the most boring revolution ever.
YEAAAAH UPPER DECK TOOK A PICTURE OF A BUILDING. Dumb ol' MLB will probably try to sic the Department of Homeland Security on UD for taking pictures of National landmarks. OMG YOU CAN SEE THE NAME OF THE BUILDING RIGHT THERE ON THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING THINK OF THE CHILDREN
Don't know, don't care. Almost done. Thank God.
Checklist ends the pack. Logos' friggin' EVERYWHERE. Checklists don't count either. If MLB submits a checklist into evidence in their suit, they are officially the King Douche of the trial. Sorry Bud, that's just how it works...
