I have no idea how to create pages but I'll figure it out eventually godammit

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Anti-Establishment Baseball Cards!!!

YES!!!!! The new non-licensed bootleg pirate radio baseball cards are live and in my rebellious little mitts!


WOOOOO! This is the trading card version of The Pirate Bay! Buying a pack of this stuff is like downloading the MLB's precious intellectual property in a big ol' 18 card torrent! Rock on! Up the establishment! When I plucked down 6 bucks for two packs of this stuff at Wal-Mart I practically committed a half a dozen felonies! LET'S OPEN THIS PUPPY! BREAKIN' THE LAW, BREAKIN' THE LAW!!!


Yeah!!! Some Reds rookie dude! You can tell he's a rookie because he has words instead of a face with stars over it and a rookie card logo UD borrowed from their NFL Draft set!


Here's the back! It's really boring! But kinda soothing! Simple and boxy, but not quite as Piet Mondrian boxy as last year! Simple and efficient is SO VERY METAL! UD won't use the team name on the front, but the copy writers just don't give a crap! SHOCKING!


Wladimir! Another Red! You know who else were Reds? COMMUNISTS! Richard McWilliam is wearing a Che Guevara T-Shirt RIGHT NOW


Jack Cust! Poster Child for Three True Outcomes! You see a lot of jersey backs in this set! Let's look at this card back!


I picked this one because of Jack's cool shades! No other reason! I'm getting tired of yelling!

BUT I'M SO EXCITED


AND I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT


Victorino! He kicks the Braves' ass EVERY TIME WE PLAY. He's running here! Running to KICK OUR ASS


Daniel Bard is sad. Sad that the MLB supports Monopolies. Teddy Roosevelt was a Great American and he busted up Monopolies. Why does the MLB hate America? Daniel Bard just doesn't know.


I'm yelling again! I don't know who this is! He has a Padres Camo jersey though! The MLB will likely argue in their suit that Upper Deck violated their inellexshuall pooperty because the Padres' Camo uni is their trademark!

THAT IS WRONG MLB

CAMO IS THE ARMY'S PROPERTY

DO NOT MESS WITH THE ARMY

THEY WILL SHOOT YOU

THEY HAVE GUNS


TEK!!! IN FULL CATCHER'S GEAR!!!!! CARDGASM!!!!!!!!!!


Eh, some Met. Some Met who led the team in home runs. With 12. Ha! Ha!


HEEEEEEEE-WACK! AN INSERT! DOCUMENTARY PART DEAUX! Oh wait, that sucks. At least I haven't sent those cards to Troll yet. Another Ray for Marck! Man they didn't even try with these logos. YEEEEEAAAHHHH TAKE THAT PIGS

Eh, inserts don't count anyway.


Another insert! Joltin' Joe! In the... same damn Heroes design UD has been throwing at us for years and years. Ugh. I thought there were die cuts in this set??


Dan Haren. The most boring Ace ever. Wait.. or is that Brandon Webb? I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE

There's a whole lotta white jersey on that card...


Yay! Chutley! FANTASTIC photo! Chase in full swing! Beautiful dirt, grass and chalk perspective lines! Mesmerizing empty seat patterns in the background!  Upper Deck forgetting that the logo on a catcher's helmet is in the back! That ungodly mess is barely a logo anyway, it looks like someone threw a squishy tomato at Brian Schnieder's head.


White, white jersey as far as the eye can see... It looks like a pack of Triple Threads...


To be fair there's not really any way logos are gonna help out a Ramon Vazquez card.

WAIT, PIRATES! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR AVAST YE SCURVY DOGS AND GIVE US YER LICENSE OR BUD SELIG HERE WALKS THE PLANK

Oh wait, you don't mind if Bud walks the plank...?

awkwaaaaard


Kerry Woooooo yeah there's like half a team name and maybe a quarter of Chief Wahoo's face on the cap totally effing rad you go UD stick it to the... man? Oy Gevalt, this is the most boring revolution ever.


YEAAAAH UPPER DECK TOOK A PICTURE OF A BUILDING. Dumb ol' MLB will probably try to sic the Department of Homeland Security on UD for taking pictures of National landmarks. OMG YOU CAN SEE THE NAME OF THE BUILDING RIGHT THERE ON THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING THINK OF THE CHILDREN


Don't know, don't care. Almost done. Thank God.


Checklist ends the pack. Logos' friggin' EVERYWHERE. Checklists don't count either. If MLB submits a checklist into evidence in their suit, they are officially the King Douche of the trial. Sorry Bud, that's just how it works...

16 comments:

madding said...

This set lies pretty much halfway between the total crappiness of a completely unlicensed set and the mediocrity of 2009's flagship set. I'll call it... sub-mediocre?

Captain Canuck said...

I'm disappointed. I expected a Judas Priest video before the Reds Rookie dude and a Pointer Sisters video before that Phillies idiot.

The Wax Wombat said...

I kinda like the little b&w inset photos but, uhhh... Wow, this is plain. Even with the thumbnosing logos and whatnot. Photography is still excellent, but, meh? Meh.

Sooz said...

you should take over for Billy Mays.

night owl said...

I am already sick of looking at the sides and backs of players' heads.

NicoLax24 said...

You see the sides and backs of players' heads, but I see a beautifully rebellious product.

Couldn't you make the argument that simply picturing a player in uniform isn't "profiting" from the MLB logos. How do college teams finagle their way into claiming that they aren't profiting off of their college players when they paste logos all over them and put them on tv? I know the two things aren't quite them same, but I feel like they should be connected, are they "profiting" from the image of the player or the image of the logo?

I would think that it is the player because they aren't technically advertising them as being part of the team, they just happen to use pictures that show them with logos. It's like Q-Tips, the company profits from this product because people clean their ears with them; however, if you ever read their uses you won't see them advertised for such use because they'd get sued for making a product that flies in the face of medical insurance.

My point being: UD is selling baseball cards that technically aren't profiting from MLB, while Q-Tips is selling a product that doesn't technically profit from people's need to clean their ears. Both indirectly profit from something other than what they are advertised as, so what is really the difference.

steveisjewish said...

Plain or not - they beat the shit out of Topps - and both sets have shit for inserts

Grand Cards said...

@Nico, Not the point. From a wikipedia entry on trademark infringement:

"Trademark infringement is a violation of the exclusive rights attaching to a trademark without the authorization of the trademark owner or any licensees (provided that such authorization was within the scope of the license). Infringement may occur when one party, the "infringer", uses a trademark which is identical or confusingly similar to a trademark owned by another party, in relation to products or services which are identical or similar to the products or services which the registration covers. An owner of a trademark may commence legal proceedings against a party which infringes its registration."

There's probably some law out there about trademarks used in photographs that UD is banking on, but it seems rather simple: UD is using logos that they don't have the right to use, in a product that is identical or similar to another product that does have the license to use them. Additionally, by making no effort to alter baseball uniforms that only partially obscure logos, there may be an argument that they are violating trade dress protection as well.

I imagine that this carries over to cards as well, and the suit will probably need to prove that there is a "likelihood of confusion" about the source or affiliation of the cards. Based on these scans, these would easily be confused with licensed baseball cards, in my opinion.

Jeffrey Wolfe said...

Liked your Don West style commentary on these. Heading to Target and Walmart today to see if they got any or at least pick up some more Topps...

Bo said...

Funniest post I've read in a long time.

Peterson said...

oi.

Fred said...

Jack Cust has a very pure swing. I think its one of the best in the majors.

Chuck's Used Cards said...

Upper Deck might as well put wet paint on their cards and let collectors watch it dry.

Booooooooooooooring ....

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

thewritersjourney said...

If you don't want the Stubbs...and you do want the Braves checklist with Chipper on it...and maybe a Topps Javier Vazquez...you know where I'm going with this, right?

Hit me up if interested...jasontcarter at gmail.

skoormit said...

Nice to see the Jack Cust TTO love.

Baseball Uniforms said...

Thanks a lot for sharing on this very nice post, this is more helpful for me to decide an which one of this uniform is best for me.

Baseball Uniforms