The Lost Box of Total Awesomeness - You can skip this post

This post got out of control, so I've split it up into two. This post is the lousy one, and the next post is the awesome one. Think of it like this: Before the Fellowship of the Ring got to fight a bunch of orcs, they wandered around a bit and got schnockered at the Prancing Pony. I am sad to say that this post is a bit on par with Tom Bombadil however. A little creepy, completely useless to the plot and better left cut out of the thing entirely. I won't mind if you go read something else good instead, but we'll be fighting Balrogs before too long. For now though, we have mid-80's Topps.

Over a third of the box was Topps stuff from 1982-1987. there were no '83 cards and only 1 fom 1986. I have no idea what I was thinking when I put these cards in with all the other stuff. They were all sorted by number for some reason. My best guess is that they were either doubles, or cards I needed for the set that never got sorted into my Topps box. Here's the first batch of Topps.

1982 Topps - 31 cards
Best cards - Vida Blue In action, Dave Lopes

This is a pretty weak pile of cards. Julio Cruz, Ton Hausman, Dick Drago and not one but two Ron Oesters. There's also a Joey McLaughlin card with a rather horrible gum stain on it. I did find five cards worth posting though:

220 Manny Trillo
I didn't get a whole lot of cards in '82 but this is one I pulled from a pack. There's a lot to like about the card, the batting cage, the business of the background, the Phillies powder blues, the facsimile autograph... but the thing I always liked best about this card is the WTF look on Manny's face. I think he's wondering why there are a bunch of guys in A's uniforms wandering around. There wasn't interleague play in 1981, was there?

230 Willie Wilson
This is a nice disturbing close up of Willie Wilson. i can't really get a read on Willies expression there. Is he pissed off? Slightly amused? Giving some groupie The Look that will ensure that they make sweet sweet love by the fire later tonight? I do know one thing, the card manufacturers today don't have the testicular fortitude to use close ups like this on their cards nowadays and when they do try it it ends up horribly butchered. Photos like this is one thing I miss from today's base sets.

422 Cliff Johnson
This would normally only make am 'ugliest cards' countdown, but the more I look at it, the more I like it. Cliff is scraggly looking and needs a shave and generally looks like life has beat him down. I see something different though, I see a grizzled vet who has seen a lot of baseball. I see wisdom in those eyes. Cliff used his baseball knowledge to have a career year in 1983 and stick it out 15 years in the bigs.

440 Jeff Burroughs
Jeff is the love child of Al Gore and Sam the American Eagle. How the hell did this guy win an MVP award?

698 Tony Scott
This card sort of sums up the entire 1982 set for me. Rainbow polyester jersey, huge fro busting out from under the batting helmet, sparsely populated stands, the holy grail of facial hair, butt-ugly orange and brown hockey stick border and the photograph quality is on par with the "In Search Of" episode on Bigfoot.

1985 Topps - 12 cards
Best card - Tim Foli. No, I'm not kidding.

The '85 and '86 cards aren't really worth posting but I'm gonna do it anyway. Dick Howser represents these cards since he won the World Series in '85 and for those sweet sunglasses.

1986 Topps - 1 card of Donnie Moore.

I don't know what this lone '86 Topps card is doing here. You'd think I would have mixed it up with my Braves cards seeing how he pitched in Atlanta for 3 years. The fact the card is from 1986 just adds insult to injury. This is a sad, sad card to end this post on.

Ok, that was terrible and not astounding at all even a little bit. I have probably blown all credibility now and you'll never believe me ever again when I say something is totally awesome. I ask you, dear readers, to have just a tiny bit more patience. The next post is more awesome than a comic strip with talking dinosaurs, I promise.