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Saturday, December 14, 2019

ON THE SECOND DAY OF AD-MAS

IT'S THE SECOND DAY OF AD-MAS AND YOU HAVEN'T BOUGHT ANY PRESENTS YOU LAZY OAF! THAT'S NO PROBLEM, COMICS TO THE RESCUE! HERE'S SOME WONDERFUL SHOPPING IDEAS FOR EVERYONE ON YOUR LIST!

ARCHIE MEETS BATMAN '66 #2 OCTOBER 2018


ARCHIE?? THAT ARCHIE??? YES, SOMEHOW ARCHIE IS NOW HIP AND COOL BUT YOU ALL WATCH RIVERDALE RELIGIOUSLY AND KNOW THAT ALREADY. THIS SERIES IS A CROSSOVER WITH THE BATMAN 66 SERIES WHICH WORKS SURPRISINGLY WELL??? REGGIE BECOMES THE RIDDLER'S PROTEGE WHICH SEEMS OBVIOUS WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT. THE ARTIST EVEN PUTS IN CESAR ROMERO'S LITTLE JOKER MUSTACHE SO I ENDORSE THIS COMIC WHOLEHEARTEDLY. THANKS TO @GROGG ON TWITTER FOR SENDING THIS TO ME AFTER SPRING CLEANING

MODERN COMICS (AT LEAST THE ONES I READ) ALMOST NEVER HAVE COOL WEIRD ADS IN THEM AS THEY ARE ALWAYS ADVERTISING THE PUBLISHER'S OTHER COMICS OR PROPERTIES BUT ARCHIE CAME THROUGH BIG TIME FOR ME


NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS ACTION FIGURES! WHAT CHILD WOULDN'T WANT TO FIND THESE UNDER THE TREE ON CHRISTMAS MORNING. A HALLOWEEN EASTER BUNNY ON CHRISTMAS CHECKS THE BOX FOR A GOOD THIRD OF THE MAJOR HOLIDAYS. THERE'S ALSO AT LEAST FOUR MORE SERIES OF THESE THINGS SO GET ON EBAY AND COLLECT THEM ALL

MYSTERYMAN COMICS #3 SEPTEMBER 1999


I LOVE FLAMING CARROT AND SOMEHOW THE MYSTERYMEN SIDE CHARACTERS FROM FLAMING CARROT GOT A MOVIE DEAL AND IT WAS REALLY GOOFY AND AWESOME BUT IT FLOPPED BECAUSE COMIC BOOK MOVIES WERE FOR NERRRRRRRRRDS IN 1999 BUT THESE COMICS CAME OUT AS A TIE IN TO THE MOVIE AND THIS COMIC FOCUSES ON SCREWBALL WHO IS MY FAVORITE MYSTERY MAN AND I LOVE THIS COMIC EVEN THOUGH POOR SCREWBALL'S BRAND NEW COTTON DOCKERS GET RUINED BY EVIL GONDOLIERS

OH YEAH ADS


AUSTIN POWERS SHOTGLASSES FOR ALL THE SOPHISTICATED BOOZERS IN YOUR LIFE. GOOFY COMIC BOOK MOVIES WERE BAD IN 1999 BUT GOOFY JAMES BOND PARODIES WERE VERY GOOD. THANKFULLY IN 2019 JAMES BOND HAS RECAPTURED THE STATUS OF BEING ITS OWN PARODY AND GOOFY COMIC BOOK MOVIES ARE COMPLETELY INESCAPABLY MAINSTREAM AND ARE VERY SERIOUS CINEMA ACTUALLY

MAKES ME WANT TO POUR A SHOT OF BOURBON INTO THE SURPRISE NEW CHARACTER GLASS, DOWN THE REST OF THE BOTTLE AND WATCH A 4 HOUR SCORSESE MOVIE

SWAMP THING #103 JANUARY 1991


SWAMP THING! I LOVE SWAMP THING. BIG SHAMBLING VEGETABLE MAN BEING A DO-GOODER WAY OUT IN THE WILDERNESS WHERE HE CAN'T ACTUALLY AFFECT MODERN INDUSTRY'S INSATIABLE DESIRE TO BURN DOWN THE WHOLE WORLD IN ORDER TO SQUEEZE OUT THAT LAST NICKEL OF PROFIT. THIS COVER IS A BIT DECEPTIVE BECAUSE THERE IS NO KISSYFACE IN THE BOOK, JUST A DUDE WITH A TREE FOR A HEAD CHASING ABIGAIL WHILE SWAMPY IS CAPTURED BY UHH... A FUNGUS THING? I'VE READ IT THREE TIMES AND AM STILL NOT SURE


PRE-CHRISTMAS OFFER!!!!! RADIO CONTROLLED ELECTRIC BATMOBILE! IT'S LIKE A TINY TESLA FOR ANT SUPERHEROES! SERIAL NUMBERED FOR COLLECTORS! QUARTER MILE RANGE!! RUGGED ALUMINUM RACING CHASSIS!!! 1/10 SCALE FOR VERY LARGE ANTS!!!! OFFICIALLY LICENCED AND NOT A BOOTLEG AT ALL!!!!! FULLY ASSEMBLED*** BECAUSE WE KNOW YOU'RE A KLUTZ!!!!!! SEMI! GLOSS! FRONT! AND! REAR! SUSPENSION! RUNS! ON! SUPERHERO! BATTERY PACK! JUST LIKE BATMAN'S UTILITY BELT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GET OUT YOUR CARTE BLANCHE CARD GET ON THAT TELEPHONE AND CALL TODAY TO RECEIVE YOUR MATBOMILE IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DON'T ACTUALLY CALL THAT NUMBER THO IT'S PROBABLY A SEX LINE BY NOW

*** batteries and charger not included headlights and taillights sold separately no you don't get the girl either what's wrong with you




1 comment:

Fuji said...

Shot glasses in comic books? Now that's my kind of comic.