FIRST TOPPS CARD OF 2015

 

 

  WHOLLY CARP READABLE MOTHERFLUBBING CARD NUMBERS!!!!1

 Ya done good, Topps. Ya done good.

The best pack of Ginter I'll probably get this year

I know you're all sick and tired of Ginter but I'm poor and I couldn't rip a case and I don't care I'll enjoy this set at my pace and my pace is one blaster every 3 weeks.

My blaster today was as lame as my last blaster. No relics, no autos, the mojo hit was a mini numbered to 25. I did get probably my favorite pack of the year though out of it. My favorite baseball pack that is. Let's take a quick look, shall we?

Chicken man! Off to a good start with a Hall of Famer. Since I am a child of the '80s and never actively rooted for any of Wade's teams I have good memories of the guy.

MELVIN! I love me some BJ. Yeah I know, he's hit under the Mendoza line almost all year long and has watched more third strike fastballs down the middle than Leonard Maltin has watched movies but I don't care. He's OUR high priced underperforming free agent signing and I'll support him until the bitter end.

 BIG MAC! Two Barves in a roooooooow! I am enjoying every single Brian McCann at bat this year as much as I possibly can. With Evan Gattis asserting himself and newly called up Christian Bethancourt almost ready for The Show the only way Mac'll be in a Braves uni next year is if the NL gets the DH and cheapass Liberty Media ups the payroll $30 million.

Yeah, fuckin' Cody Ross. I said it was my favorite pack, not the perfect pack.

PEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I've wanted this card since 2007. Topps went and weirded it up with blank backs and black lights but who cares I have a mini of the greatest football player EVER. Love love love love LOVE this card.

Finish off the pack with REGGIE. In an A's uniform so I don't have to feel bad about being a fan of Reggie as a Yankee. And I am a HUGE fan of Reggie as a Yankee. Three home runs in one World Series game beeyotches. Only four players have done that and Reggie was the skinniest one to do it.

Not a bad little pack there, eh? Still haven't gotten my Abe Vigoda card though. Dang it Topps!

I thought Opening Day wasn't until the first

That is a mighty fine airbrush job on B.J.

I have no idea when this stuff is supposed to come out, but it's out.

BJ and the Barves

I love this signing.I don't care what anyone thinks about this deal. I don't care if you think we overpaid. I don't care if you think Upton strikes out too much. I don't care if you (stupidly) think BJ has attitude problems. I don't care if you wanted Bourn instead. I don't care what you think because you're wrong. BJ Upton fills a ton of holes in the Braves' lineup and immediately improves the team without costing a hundred million dollar contract. But forget all that. This is the best deal Frank Wren ever made for one reason:

WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO SIGN NICK SWISHER NOW.

Welcome to Atlanta, Bossman Junior.