MERRY CARDMAS BONUS: BLACK FRIDAY COMC PICKUPS - PART 28: GILBERT PART 2

HOORAY! CHRISTMAS HAS COME! OR MAYBE IT HASN'T, I'M WRITING THIS OVER A WEEK BEFOREHAND. PERHAPS THE GRINCH HAS SNATCHED IT AWAY. PERHAPS YOU ARE THE GRINCH AND HAS DONE THE SNATCHING! SNATCHED OR NO, I HOPE YOU ENJOY CHRISTMAS OR THE LACK OF IT. AS A SPECIAL TREAT FOR YOU HERE IS ONE MORE POST FOR CARDMAS: A BLACK FRIDAY 2021 PICKUP THAT IS BEING POSTED WAY OUT OF ORDER. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT GILBERT PART 1 IS YET! THAT'S A FUN ONE BUT NOT QUITE AS GOOD AS THIS

FEEL FREE TO READ THIS POST IN GILBERT'S VOICE

IN EVERY COMC ORDER I SPLURGE ON ONE CARD AND SPEND SOMETHING LIKE A FIVER ON ONE CARD SO THERE'S SOMETHING NICE IN BETWEEN ALL THE JUNK I FOUND FOR THIRTY-THREE CENTS. THE FIRST TIME I DROPPED A FIVER IT WAS A JASON HEYWARD TOPPS GOLD NUMBERED PARALLEL, THIS YEAR IT WAS A CARD FROM 1941. THAT JIM BOUTON CARD FROM A FEW POSTS AGO WAS A HIGH ROLLER PICKUP FROM COMC, I SPENT SIX WHOLE DOLLARS ON THAT ONE. IN 2021 I ACTUALLY GOT TWO SPENDY CARDS, THIS ONE HERE AN ANOTHER YOU'LL PROBABLY SEE IN JANUARY. I HAVE BEEN A HUGE FAN OF GILBERT GOTTFRIED FOR DECADES. I ALWAYS LOVED HIS CRAZY VOICE AND LIKED CATCHING HIM DO HIS SCHTICK ON USA UP ALL NIGHT OR SOME RANDOM SMALL PART IN A TV SHOW EVERY SO OFTEN. MY COLLEGE FRIENDS COULDN'T STAND LISTENING TO HIM BUT THEY ALL SURE LOVED HIM IN ALADDIN.  HE SHOWED UP IN TONS OF MY FAVORITE SHOWS IN THE 90S: REN & STIMPY, DUCKMAN, THE WEIRD AL SHOW, DR. KATZ. HE DID VOICE WORK ON EVERYTHING INCLUDING MY KIDS' SHOWS LIKE CYBERCHASE. MOTHERFUCKER WAS EVERYWHERE. HOLLYWOOD SQUARES. THE ARISTOCRATS. THE AFLAC DUCK. THE APPRENTICE. GILBERT WAS EVERYWHERE AND HE WAS ALWAYS FUNNY. THEN HE DID THE FUNNIEST PODCAST EVER. I HAD ALREADY PICKED UP A DONRUSS AMERICANA BASE CARD AND WANTED A RELIC OR AUTO TO GO WITH IT AND FOUND THIS COOL SWATCH FROM AMERICAN PICE WITH HALF A DOZEN COLORS ON IT. IS IT A TIE? UNDERWEAR? WHO KNOWS, GILBERT WORE WHATEVER IT WAS AND THAT WAS ENOUGH

AND THEN OUTTA NOWHERE GILBERT DIED THIS YEAR. THIS HIT ME HARD AT A TIME WHEN I DIDN'T HAVE A WHOLE LOT OF MENTAL ENERGY TO DEAL WITH STUFF. SOMETHING THAT BROUGHT ME A LOT OF JOY WAS SUDDENLY GONE AND A LOT OF THAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING RECENTLY. I FEEL A LITTLE BAD BRINGING EVERYTHING DOWN ON CHRISTMAS BUT IT'S BEEN A FUCKED UP YEAR - HALF A DOZEN YEARS, REALLY - AND THE FACT THAT I SURVIVED THIS ONE AT ALL HAS ME A LITTLE INTROSPECTIVE AT THE END OF IT. SHIT SUCKS BUT I'M STILL HERE AND I GOT LIKE 500 AMAZING COLOSSAL PODCAST EPISODES TO RE-LISTEN TO AND A COOL CARD OF I DUNNO A HANDKERCHIEF OR SOMETHING TO REMEMBER GILBERT BY. IF YOU NEVER LISTENED TO AN EPISODE OF THE PODCAST I HIGHLY RECOMMEND ONE OF HIS CHRISTMAS EPISODES WITH MARIO CANTONE, THEY ARE ALL HILARIOUS. I ALSO AM FOND OF THE TRAINWRECK MARTY ALLEN EPISODE, AND ALSO BOB EINSTEIN, BILLY WEST, BILL MACY, DICK CAVETT, HELL JUST CHECK OUT WHATEVER ENCORE SHOW THEY ARE RUNNING THIS WEEK, THEY'RE ALL PRETTY GOOD. HERE'S TO YOU GILBERT, THANKS FOR THE LAUGHS 

NOW THE TREE HAS A STAR AND YOU KNEW I WASN'T GOING TO LEAVE SNOOPY OUT OF THE FESTIVITIES. MAY YOUR CHRISTMAS BE FILLED WITH ORANGE WEDGES AND CHICKENS AND GLASS COFFEE TABLES. WAIT, NO. MAYBE STAY AWAY FROM ALL THAT. JUST HAVE A NICE DAY AND PERHAPS WATCH THE MR MAGOO CHRISTMAS CAROL INSTEAD. GOD BLESS US, EVERY ONE! WITH RAZZLEBERRY DRESSING

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CARDMAS: LAUNDRY EDITION - DAY 6

CRAP

I SHOULDA USED THIS CARD FOR FIVE GOOOOOLD RINGS

MISSED OPPORTUNITY FOR SURE

I WAS COMPLETELY GAGA OVER THE LORD OF THE RINGS MOVIES WHEN THEY CAME OUT. SAW THEM ALL IN THE MOVIE THEATER AND SAW ALL THREE IN ONE SITTING WHEN RETURN OF THE KING WAS RELEASED AND BOUGHT THE EXTENDED EDITION DVDS WITH ALL THE ADDED BULLSHIT SO THEY ALL TOOK FIFTEEN HOURS TO WATCH AND THEY WERE THE BEST THINGS EVER. THEN THE HOBBIT CAME OUT AND IT WAS LIKE, OH. THEN THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG CAME OUT AND IT WAS LIKE, YEAH OK, DRAGON. THEN THE BATTLE OF FIVE ARMIES CAME OUT AND I NEVER GAVE A SHIT ABOUT A HOBBIT EVER AGAIN. NO BOOKS, NO RADIO PLAYS, NO COMICS, NO MANGA ADAPTATIONS, NO BAKSHI CARTOONS, NO TV SERIES, NO TIJUANA BIBLES, NO MORE MIDDLE EARTH. IT'S HONESTLY SHOCKING JUST HOW COMPLETELY THAT MOVIE RUNINED IT FOR ME. AND IT'S NOT EVEN THE WORST MOVIE EVER, BILLY CONNOLLY ON A WARPIG WAS PRETTY COOL ACTUALLY

BUT IN THE 00S, I WAS STILL GOOFY FOR GOLLUM AND BOUGHT UP A TON OF LORD OF THE RINGS TOPPS CARDS. I MANAGED TO ACCUMULATE A SMALL PILE OF THE RELIC CARDS, GANDALF, ARWEN, AND A HANDFUL OF OTHERS. THE ONLY HOBBIT I'M MISSING IS MERRY. ANYONE HAVE AN EXTRA MERRY FOR A PIPPIN? MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE CHARACTER IS SMEAGOL, BUT HE DIDN'T EXACTLY HAVE ANYTHING THAT COULD EVEN BE MADE INTO RELICS. OF THE ONES I HAVE GANDALF HAS TO BE MY FAVORITE SINCE IAN MCKELLAN IS A BAD ASS. GANDALF, MAGNETO, RICHARD III AND JAMES WHALE IS A PRETTY DAMN GOOD ACTING ROLE MOUNT RUSHMORE. OF THE RELICS I DON'T HAVE I MOST COVET THE BRAD DOURIF WORMTONGUE VELVET UNDERFROCK. BRAD'S BEEN IN A HUNDRED MOVIES I LOVE. I'D TRADE MY EXTRA FRODO FOR THAT ONE

THE GIGANTIC BEARD KINDA WORKS ON SALLY DON'T YOU THINK

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CARDMAS: LAUNDRY EDITION - DAY 5

FIIIIIIVE GOOOOOOLDEN RIIIIIINGS

JIM ONLY WON ONE RING BUT WHOS' COUNTING

THIS IS THE FIRST CARD IN THE LAUNDRY LIST THAT I DIDN'T ACTUALLY PULL FROM A PACK. I AM NOT ENTIRELY SURE WHERE I GOT IT, BUT I KNOW IT WASN'T FROM A PACK OF SWEET SPOT. I PICKED UP A COPY OF BALL FOUR AS AN IMPRESSIONABLE TEEN AT THE GOODWILL BOOK SALE AT NORTHLAKE MALL IN THE 80S AND REACHED ENLIGHTENMENT VERY SOON AFTER. I'VE READ IT MANY TIMES SINCE THEN AND I GET A LITTLE SAD WHEN JIM GETS TRADED TO HOUSTON EVERY TIME. BOUTON HAS A TON OF AUTOGRAPH CARDS BUT AS FAR AS I CAN TELL THIS IS HIS ONLY JERSEY CARD. I'M HAVING A HARD TIME EVEN FINDING THIS ONE ONLINE HOW SCARCE ARE THESE THINGS

WHY IN THE HECK IS PINKIE PIE IN THE TOPLOADER WITH BOUTON? THIS IS NOT A BIT, I PULLED THE CARD OUT OF MY RELIC BOX AND GOT HORSIED. I OFTEN SLIP AN EXTRA CARD INTO SUPER THICK RELIC TOPLOADERS TO KEEP THE CARD FROM SLIDING OUT BUT THIS IS AN ODD CHOICE EVEN FOR ME

THE NAME OF THIS RELIC SET IS PINSTRIPES, TO GO ALONG WITH A SHORT PRINTED YANKEES SUBSET. THE VAST MAJORITY OF JIM'S TRADING CARDS HAVE IN IN A YANKEES UNI, BUT THERE ARE A HANDFUL OF PILOTS CARDS. HOW COOL WOULD IT BE IF JIM HAD A PILOTS RELIC CARD? I'VE WISHED FOR A LICENSED BOUTON CARD IN A BRAVES UNIFORM FOR A VERY LONG TIME NOW, BUT IT HAS ALSO OCCURRED TO ME THAT THERE DOESN'T APPEAR TO BE A HOUSTON ASTROS BOUTON CARD EITHER. THIS IS THE ONLY THING THAT'S EVEN CLOSE. IT SHOULD BE A LAW THAT EVERY TEAM A PLAYER IS WITH GETS AT LEAST ONE CARD WHERE THEY ARE WEARING THAT UNIFORM. BILLIONS OF DIFFERENT CARDS ARE PRINTED EVERY YEAR, WE CAN GET ONE JIM BOUTON CARD IN A 'STROS UNI. GET ON IT, FANATICS

THE CROWD IS STARTING TO FILL IN, IT'S REALLY GETTING FESTIVE UP IN HERE

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CARDMAS: LAUNDRY EDITION - DAY 2

ALL RIGHTY HERE ARE TWELVE OF MY FAVORITE RELIC CARDS WITH JERSEY SWATCHES FRESH FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON. I PROBABLY ALREADY POSTED ABOUT SOME OF THEM PREVIOUSLY BUT THAT WAS YEARS AGO, YOU CAN DEAL WITH SOME DUPLICATES. ALL NEW PHOTOS AT LEAST, I TRIED THAT PHONE SCAN APP AGAIN AND... I STILL DON'T LIKE HOW UNCANNY THE PICS LOOK BUT THEY TURNED OUT GOOD ENOUGH TO CONVINCE ME TO NOT DRAG OUT THE ANCIENT SCANNER. TODAY'S CARD IS A WEIRD ONE

BUTTON, BUTTON, WHO'S GOT THE BUTTON. EARLY ON IN THE HISTORY OF RELIC CARDS MANUFACTURERS WISED UP AND REALIZED ALL THE SCRAPS FROM THE JERSEY THAT WERE DIFFICULT TO USE COULD BE MADE INTO PREMIUM CARDS. THUS BEGAN AN ESCALATION OF RELICRY THAT ULITMATELY RESULTED IN THE TRADITIONAL PLAIN WHITE SWATCH GETTING RELEGATED TO THE BARGAIN BINS. STILL, IT'S FUN TO PULL ONE OF THESE WEIRDO RELICS, BE IT A PATCH OR LAUNDRY TAG OR CLEATS OR THE HUMBLE BUTTON (BUT NOT CORK, THAT TURNS OUT POORLY FOR EVERYONE) FROM A PACK AT LEAST ONCE. I GOT THIS ONE OUT OF A PACK OF 2005 DONRUSS CHAMPIONS, A NOTORIOUS RELIC DUMP PRODUCT THAT DONRUSS PUT OUT AFTER THEY LOST THEIR BASEBALL LICENSE TO GET AS MUCH OF THEIR LEFTOVER RELICS OUT THE DOOR BEFORE THE PARTY WAS OVER. IT WAS A HIDEOUS OVER PRICED SET DESIGNED SOLELY FOR THE RELIC CARDS AND I WISH I HAD BOUGHT MORE BECAUSE THE SMALL NUMBER OF PACKS I DID GET HAD COOL STUFF LIKE THIS IN IT

GONNA BE UP FRONT WITH EVERYONE, WHEN I WAS A KID I LOATHED TOMMY LASORDA. HE WAS A STUPID HOLLYWOOD SHOWBOAT WHO DID TOO MANY COMMERCIALS AND HIS LOUSY STINKING DODGERS KICKED MY BRAVES' ASS EVERY YEAR BUT ONE. HIS 1954 TOPPS CARD WAS TOO DAMN EXPENSIVE. WHEN HE MANAGED THE ALL-STAR GAME HE DIDN'T LET PHIL NIEKRO PITCH AND HE GOT IN A FIGHT WITH THE PHILLIE PHANATIC AND WHO IS HE KIDDING WITH THAT SLIM-FAST. SUCH A BIG JERK. MY FEELINGS TOWARD TOMMY SOFTENED AS I GOT OLDER. THE BRAVES WINNING A TON AND THE WHOLE MIKE PIAZZA STORY HELPED. PLUS MY ITALIAN GRANDFATHER LIKED ANYONE ITALIAN SO IT WAS HARD TO STAY MAD, ESPECIALLY WHEN WE MOVED OUT OF THE NL WEST.  HE MORPHED FROM PAIN IN THE ASS WHO BEAT UP MY TEAM EVERY YEAR TO CUDDLY OLD BASEBALL GRAMPA IN THE SPACE OF A DECADE. I LOVE RELIC CARDS OF PEOPLE WHO WERE IN THE GAME BEFORE RELIC CARDS REALLY EXPLODED AND IT'S NICE TO HAVE ONE FOR LASORDA. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE VALUE OF THIS THING IS AS I HARDLY EVER SEE ANY BUTTON CARDS FOR SALE BUT I MIGHT THINK ABOUT TRADING IT FOR THE '54

CAN YOU EVEN SEE THE ORNAMENTS ON THE TREE? I SHOULD HAVE PLANNED THIS OUT BETTER

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CARDMAS: LAUNDRY EDITION - DAY 1

 OH BOB IT'S TIME FOR CARDMAS AGAIN AND I'M NOT READY AT ALL. USUALLY I START PREPARING POSTS ONCE THORZUL KICKS OFF HIS CARDVENT CALENDAR BUT THIS YEAR I WAS ON A ROLL WRITING UP ACTUAL POSTS SO I PROCRASTINATED AND NOW IT'S HERE AND I GOT NOTHIN. PLUS I HAVE TO DO A LOT OF STUFF TODAY! GO TO THE GYM, WASH DISHES, DO THE LAUNDRY

WAIT 

LAUNDRY

IT'S SO CRAZY IT JUST MIGHT WORK

ALL RIGHTY FOLKS, LET'S KICK OFF THE HOLIDAY FESTIVITIES WITH SOME OLD DIRTY LAUNDRY

THIS HERE IS A 1996-97 UPPER DECK HOCKEY GAME JERSEY CARD OF MARK MESSIER. THE BACK BOASTS IT IS ONE OF THE FIRST-EVER GAME WORN JERSEY CARDS FROM UPPER DECK AND THIS PARTICULAR ONE WAS THE FIRST-EVER JERSEY CARD OF ANY TYPE THAT I PULLED OUT OF A PACK. I GRABBED SOME PACKS AT TARGET ONE DAY, DISCOVERED THAT THE ONE THIS WAS IN WAS LUMPY AND OPENED IT UP TO FIND THIS. I'VE PULLED A STUPID AMOUNT OF RELIC CARDS FROM PACKS SINCE THEN BUT YOU ONLY GET ONE CHANCE TO PULL YOUR FIRST BEEG MOJO HITTTZZ AND MINE WAS AN INNER CIRCLE HOCKEY HALL OF FAMER WITH A PRETTY BLUE SWATCH

OBVIOUSLY WHEN I PULLED THIS CARD I WAS FREAKED OUT AND HAD LITTLE SPINNING DOLLAR SIGNS IN MY EYEBALLS. I TRIED TO SELL IT AT A HOCKEY MEMORABILIA STORE IN THE MALL, BUT THE BOOK VALUE AT THE TIME WAS $160 AND I WANTED EVERY PENNY AND THE BUYER WOULDN'T GO THAT HIGH SO I KEPT IT. THIS ARTICLE FROM PUCK JUNK A WHILE AGO SHOWS OFF HOW THE BOOK VALUE HAS CHANGED THROUGH THE YEARS, BUT THE THING IS NO MATTER WHAT BECKETT SAYS I STILL HAVE THE CARD AND IT'S STILL GONNA BE PRICEY IF I TRY TO MOVE IT. BESIDES I WOULD HAVE JUST SPENT THE MONEY ON CRAPPY NEW CARDS BACK THEN ANYWAY OR WORSE, BOUGHT SOME PACKS. THIS WAY I GET TO SHOW IT OFF AND AND ENJOY THE FACT THAT NOT ALL MY CARDS ARE JUNKY BASE CARDS. ALSO, I HAVE ABSOULUTELY NO IDEA WHAT THE SECOND JERSEY CARD I PULLED WAS SO THIS POST WOULD BE MUCH HARDER TO WRITE

NO TREES HAVE GONE UP IN FLAMES YET THIS YEAR, ONLY SOCIETY, SO LET'S LIVE IN THE PAST WITH THE NOSTALGIA BAIT CHRISTMAS SPECIAL. I DON'T REMEMBER THAT KID IN THE BACK THOUGH. AND I AM NEVER GOING TO FIT ALL THE ORNAMENTS ON THAT SHITASS LITTLE TREE CHARLIE GOT. OH WELL, CHRISTMAS ISN'T ABOUT ALL THAT, IT'S ABOUT SHEPHERDS BEING SORE AFRAID OR SOMETHING. I'LL FIGURE IT ALL OUT LATER TIME FOR THE JINGLE BELLS AND THE HO HO HO AND THE MISTLETOE AND PRESENTS FOR PRETTY GIRLS