THE TWELVE DAYS OF CARDMAS: LAUNDRY EDITION - DAY 10

LAST ONE OF THESE THAT WAS PULLED BY ME OUT OF A PACK OF CARDS. AND IT'S A REALLY RIDICULOUS ONE TOO

I MISS PACIFIC CARDS. THEY WERE HANDS DOWN THE MOST CONSISTENTLY WEIRD TRADING CARD COMPANY AROUND. SURE THEY HAD ONE OR TWO MILDY NORMAL LOOKING PRODUCTS LIKE THE FLAGSHIP SET AND MAYBE PARAMOUNT BUT THEY ALWAYS SWUNG FOR THE FENCES WITH THE DESIGNS ON THEIR ODDBALL SETS. A LOT OF TIMES THEY STRUCK OUT, BUT 2000 VANGUARD WAS ONE OF THEIR BEST. BASE CARDS WERE THESE THICK PLASTIC THINGS WITH A SOLID BRIGHTLY COLORED BACKGROUND WITH A HOLOFOIL HALO AROUND THE PLAYER PHOTO. YOU HAVE TO SEE THEM IN HAND TO GET THE FULL EFFECT BUT THEY REALLY DO LOOK GREAT. 

I BOUGHT QUITE A FEW PACKS OF BASEBALL FOOTBALL AND HOCKEY THAT YEAR* AND ENJOYED THEM GREATLY. THIS WAS A PREMIUM PRODUCT SO PACKS ONLY HAD FOUR CARDS  IN THEM. IMAGINE MY SURPRISE WHEN I FOUND A PACK OF VANGUARD AT TARGET THAT WAS THE SIZE OF A BRICK. THICK PACK = MOAR CARDS SO OF COURSE I BOUGHT IT**. I OPENED IT UP AND THERE WASN'T MOARER CARDS, THERE WAS THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF CARDS AND A CRAZY THICK CARD OF FUTURE HALL OF FAMER CRIS CARTER WITH A LARGE CHUNK OF WHAT APPEARED TO BE PART OF A UNIFORM NUMBER. WITH BONUS SERIAL NUMBER #1/25 HAND WRITTEN WITH A SILVER PAINT PEN THAT WAS RUNNING OUT OF PAINT. IT WAS THE YEAR 2000 SO RELIC CARDS WERE STILL RARE BUT NOT UNHEARD OF AT THAT TIME SO I WAS COOL AND COLLECTED WHEN I SAW IT, RIGHT. NOPE. MY EYEBALLS BUGGED OUT AND I WENT HUBBA HUBBA AWOOOOOGA NYONG NYONG NYONG BBBBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBBLBLB

THEN I TURNED THE MOTHERFUCKER OVER AND IT'S GODDAMN RANDY MOSS WITH AN EVEN NICER PATCH SWATCH. TWO HALL OF FAMERS ON THE SAME CARD THAT'S AS THICK AS A PULP NOVEL AND HAS TWO GIGANTIC PORT HOLES STUFFED WITH JERSEY BITS. IT'S A HELLA NICE CARD AND IF DIDN'T LOVE BASEBALL WAAAY MORE THAN FOOTBALL MIGHT'VE BEATEN OUT ICHIRO FOR MY 'NICEST PATCH CARD' AWARD. 2000 WAS A BANNER YEAR FOR PACIFIC AND IT'S A DAMN SHAME EVERYTHING CAME CRASHING DOWN AFTER THEY LOST THEIR BASEBALL LICENSE THE NEXT YEAR. I HAVE TWO MORE RELIC CARDS FROM 2000 PACIFIC OF KURT WARNER AND GREG MADDUX AND THE ONLY REASON THEY DIDN'T MAKE THE CUT IS BECAUSE I FOUND ALL THE OTHER CARDS IN THE POST BEFORE I GOT TO THEM. STILL, THIS CARD REPRESENTS THAT PACIFIC QUALITY WELL

YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TICKLED I WAS THAT THE TWINS WERE WEARING PURPLE

*POSSIBLE FRANKENSET CANDIDATE?

**BOOOO PACK SEARCHERS, HISSS BAH FOR SHAME. YEAH, YEAH,  WHATEVER. IF YOU CAN STRAIGHT UP LOOK AT A PACK AND SEE IT'S THREE TIMES FATTER THAN THE REST OF 'EM YOU'RE GONNA PICK THAT ONE. IT'S SIMPLE HUNTER GATHERER INSTINCT. THAT'S NOT EVEN PACK SEARCHING*** THAT'S PACK LOOKING

***ALSO, I AM ON RECORD AS BEING 100% SUPPORTIVE OF PACK SEARCHING IN RETAIL. TARGET AND WAL-MART CARD AISLES ARE A HELLSCAPE AT THE BEST OF TIMES I RESPECT THE HUSTLE FOR COLLECTORS JUST TRYING TO GET SOMETHING NICE. IF YOU'RE A FLIPPER THOUGH AND CLEAR OUT EVERY STORE WITHIN A 50 MILE RADIUS LIKE A SWARM OF LOCUSTS AND GET IN FIGHTS WITH THE OTHER LOCUSTS OVER POKEMON CARDS AND ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THERE BEING NO ALLEN & GINTER PACKS IN STORES SINCE 2019 THEN SEE THE FIRST SENTENCE IN ** AND I HOPE EVERYTHING YOU BUY IS ALREADY OPENED AND STUFFED WITH CRUMMY BOWMAN BASE CARDS**** WITH NOT EVEN A SINGLE BIP ROBERTS IN SIGHT*****

****AND NOT EVEN PLAIN OLD VETERAN BASE CARDS, CAREFULLY CHOSEN NON-FIRST BOWMAN CARD PROSPECTS CARDS EXCLUSIVELY OF PLAYERS WHO NEVER GOT PAST DOUBLE-A. THAT SPEW OUT BY THE THOUSANDS LIKE IT'S THE BLASTER VERSION OF A CLOWN CAR OR A VERY STRANGE TARDIS

*****WHAT AM I SAYING, EVERYONE DESERVES THE BLESSING OF BIP ROBERTS DURING THE JOYOUS HOLIDAY SEASON. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. OH WHY OH WHY DO I TALK POLITICS DURING THE HOLIDAYS, IT NEVER ENDS WELL. JUST SKIP ALL THESE FOOTNOTES

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CARDMAS: LAUNDRY EDITION - DAY 4

FROM AN ALL-TIME GREAT TO AN ALL-TIME GREAT, HERE'S DAY FOUR

IN THE EARLY 00S I WAS OBSESSED WITH LEGENDS SETS. TOPPS ARCHIVES, UPPER DECK LEGENDS, FLEER GREATS. I MOSTLY COLLECTED BASEBALL, BUT PICKED UP A FEW FOOTBALL BASKETBALL AND HOCKEY PACKS HERE AND THERE AS WELL. A PACK OF 2004 FLEER GREATS FOOTBALL HIT GOLD FOR ME WITH THIS WALTER PAYTON GAME-WORN JERSEY CARD. LIKE EVERYONE ELSE WHO GREW UP IN THE 80S, I GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE SUPERBOWL SHUFFLE HYPE AND BECAME A FAN OF WALTER. I COVETED THAT 1976 ROOKIE CARD BUT NEVER FOUND ONE IN MY PRICE RANGE. NOWADAYS IT'S WAAAAAAY OUT OF MY RANGE, IT'S HARD TO EVEN FIND ONE THAT ISN'T GRADED. THANKFULLY REPRINT CARDS EXIST AND MY LUCK WAS GOOD ENOUGH TO STUMBLE ACROSS THE LAUNDRY 

IT'S A PRETTY ELEGANT DESIGN FOR A JERSEY CARD, ALTHOUGH THAT SEEMED TO BE THE THEME OF THIS PARTICULAR FLEER GREATS SET. I'M ALSO SURPRISED THERE'S SO MUCH UNUSED REAL ESTATE ON THE BACK OF THE CARD, YOU DON'T USUALLY SEE A QUARTER OF THE CARD LEFT BLANK LIKE THIS. THAT BLACK STRIPE ISN'T EVEN WHERE THE SERIAL NUMBER GOES, IT'S USUALLY TO THE RIGHT OF THAT JUNK UNDER THE SIGNATURE. I'M JUST NOTICING NOW THAT THE PHONE SCAN WENT A LITTLE OFF IN THAT SPOT. WHOOPS. ANOTHER WHOOPS IS ON THE FRONT, I'VE NEVER QUITE SEEN AN OFF-CENTER RELIC WINDOW BEFORE. I'M SURE IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME BUT THIS DESIGN REALLY HIGHLIGHTS HOW MUCH THEY MISSED ON THAT WINDOW. I WONDER IF GRADING COMPANIES WOULD DING THE GRADE FOR THAT?

ALWAYS GOOD TO HAVE SOME SWEETNESS AT CHRISTMAS

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CARDMAS: LAUNDRY EDITION - DAY 3

HERE WE GO, NO SMALL TALK, JUST POSTS. MY FAVORITE RELIC CARDS ARE NON-SPORTS RELIC CARDS, ESPECIALLY WHEN I PULL A SWEET ONE OUT OF A DOLLAR TREE PACK

A FEW YEARS AGO BACK WHEN DOLLAR TREE STILL SOLD TRADING CARDS THE ONES NEAR ME GOT A GIGANTIC PILE OF PANINI NON-SPORTS CARDS. THE PACKS THEY HAD WERE 2015 AMERICANA AND A BEACH BOYS SET. THESE WERE NOT SKIMPY DOLLAR TREE PACKS WITH FOUR BASE CARDS IN THEM EITHER, THEY WERE FULL SIZED HOBBY PACKS. I CARE ABOUT THE BEACH BOYS ABOUT AS MUCH AS I CARE ABOUT HALLMARK HOLIDAY SPECIALS WHICH IS NOTHING. SOME MAY FIND THIS BLASPHEMOUS, AND I ACCEPT THAT. THE BAND DOES NOTHING FOR ME. A CELEBRITY SET WITH LAURA DERN AND ROGER MOORE AND BELA LUGOSI INSERTS IN IT? YEAH, THAT'S MY JAM. I BOUGHT AN EXCESSIVE NUMBER OF DOLLAR PACKS AND STILL NEVER COMPLETED THE SET. BUT I PULLED A RELIC CARD OF BETTE FRICKIN' DAVIS WITH A LOVELY BLUE SWATCH OF A DRESS THAT PROBABLY SHE WORE SOMETIME SOMEWHERE MAYBE

PULLING A RELIC CARD OF ONE OF THE BEST ACTORS IN THE HISTORY OF EVER FROM A PACK FROM DOLLAR TREE IS ABSURD. EVEN THOUGH I AM A TURNER CLASSIC MOVIES JUNKIE I'M ASHAMED TO SAY I HAVEN'T SEEN MANY OF BETTE'S FLICKS OTHER THAN HER CRAZY OLD LADY ROLES LIKE WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE, HUSH HUSH SWEET CHARLOTTE AND RETURN FROM WITCH MOUNTAIN. I AM A BAD FILM NERD, I SHOULD AT LEAST CHECK OUT NOW, VOYAGER SINCE IT HAS CLAUDE RAINS IN IT. OR HER OSCAR WINNING FILM JEZABEL WHERE SHE CAUSES A GIGANTIC SCANDAL FOR WEARING A RED DRESS. NO, SERIOUSLY. THE HAYES CODE DID SOME WEIRD THINGS TO FILM. ALTHOUGH THE GUARANTEE FROM PANINI ON THE BACK IS WORRYINGLY VAGUE IT'S STILL SOMEWHAT ODD THAT I MIGHT BE HOLDING A PIECE OF BETTE DAVIS' DRESS. THAT'S BASICALLY THE GOLDEN AGE FILM EQUIVALENT OF A LOU GEHRIG JERSEY SWATCH. I WONDER IF GREER GARSON HAS ANY RELIC CARDS? HOLY CRAP SHE DOES

SURELY BETTE DAVIS HAS NATURALLY CURLY HAIR

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CARDMAS: LAUNDRY EDITION - DAY 2

ALL RIGHTY HERE ARE TWELVE OF MY FAVORITE RELIC CARDS WITH JERSEY SWATCHES FRESH FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON. I PROBABLY ALREADY POSTED ABOUT SOME OF THEM PREVIOUSLY BUT THAT WAS YEARS AGO, YOU CAN DEAL WITH SOME DUPLICATES. ALL NEW PHOTOS AT LEAST, I TRIED THAT PHONE SCAN APP AGAIN AND... I STILL DON'T LIKE HOW UNCANNY THE PICS LOOK BUT THEY TURNED OUT GOOD ENOUGH TO CONVINCE ME TO NOT DRAG OUT THE ANCIENT SCANNER. TODAY'S CARD IS A WEIRD ONE

BUTTON, BUTTON, WHO'S GOT THE BUTTON. EARLY ON IN THE HISTORY OF RELIC CARDS MANUFACTURERS WISED UP AND REALIZED ALL THE SCRAPS FROM THE JERSEY THAT WERE DIFFICULT TO USE COULD BE MADE INTO PREMIUM CARDS. THUS BEGAN AN ESCALATION OF RELICRY THAT ULITMATELY RESULTED IN THE TRADITIONAL PLAIN WHITE SWATCH GETTING RELEGATED TO THE BARGAIN BINS. STILL, IT'S FUN TO PULL ONE OF THESE WEIRDO RELICS, BE IT A PATCH OR LAUNDRY TAG OR CLEATS OR THE HUMBLE BUTTON (BUT NOT CORK, THAT TURNS OUT POORLY FOR EVERYONE) FROM A PACK AT LEAST ONCE. I GOT THIS ONE OUT OF A PACK OF 2005 DONRUSS CHAMPIONS, A NOTORIOUS RELIC DUMP PRODUCT THAT DONRUSS PUT OUT AFTER THEY LOST THEIR BASEBALL LICENSE TO GET AS MUCH OF THEIR LEFTOVER RELICS OUT THE DOOR BEFORE THE PARTY WAS OVER. IT WAS A HIDEOUS OVER PRICED SET DESIGNED SOLELY FOR THE RELIC CARDS AND I WISH I HAD BOUGHT MORE BECAUSE THE SMALL NUMBER OF PACKS I DID GET HAD COOL STUFF LIKE THIS IN IT

GONNA BE UP FRONT WITH EVERYONE, WHEN I WAS A KID I LOATHED TOMMY LASORDA. HE WAS A STUPID HOLLYWOOD SHOWBOAT WHO DID TOO MANY COMMERCIALS AND HIS LOUSY STINKING DODGERS KICKED MY BRAVES' ASS EVERY YEAR BUT ONE. HIS 1954 TOPPS CARD WAS TOO DAMN EXPENSIVE. WHEN HE MANAGED THE ALL-STAR GAME HE DIDN'T LET PHIL NIEKRO PITCH AND HE GOT IN A FIGHT WITH THE PHILLIE PHANATIC AND WHO IS HE KIDDING WITH THAT SLIM-FAST. SUCH A BIG JERK. MY FEELINGS TOWARD TOMMY SOFTENED AS I GOT OLDER. THE BRAVES WINNING A TON AND THE WHOLE MIKE PIAZZA STORY HELPED. PLUS MY ITALIAN GRANDFATHER LIKED ANYONE ITALIAN SO IT WAS HARD TO STAY MAD, ESPECIALLY WHEN WE MOVED OUT OF THE NL WEST.  HE MORPHED FROM PAIN IN THE ASS WHO BEAT UP MY TEAM EVERY YEAR TO CUDDLY OLD BASEBALL GRAMPA IN THE SPACE OF A DECADE. I LOVE RELIC CARDS OF PEOPLE WHO WERE IN THE GAME BEFORE RELIC CARDS REALLY EXPLODED AND IT'S NICE TO HAVE ONE FOR LASORDA. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE VALUE OF THIS THING IS AS I HARDLY EVER SEE ANY BUTTON CARDS FOR SALE BUT I MIGHT THINK ABOUT TRADING IT FOR THE '54

CAN YOU EVEN SEE THE ORNAMENTS ON THE TREE? I SHOULD HAVE PLANNED THIS OUT BETTER

WASTING SOME MONEY AT THE CARD SHOP

THE PANDEMIC HAS BEEN ROUGH ON MY FAVORITE MONEY WASTING PLACES. A BOOKS-A-MILLION DOWN THE STREET CLOSED. MY FAVORITE ANTIQUE STORE GOT TURNED INTO CONDOS. MY FAVORITE BOOK STORE IS FINALLY GIVING IT UP AND WILL BE CLOSING BY THE END OF THE YEAR. EVEN SECOND AND CHARLES HAS STOPPED SELLING CHEAP COMICS, THE ENDCAP THAT USED TO ALL BE FIFTY CENTS A POP IS NOW FILLED WITH TWO DOLLAR BOOKS. BUT WHEN DOORS CLOSE, WINDOWS GET SMASHED IN. A NEW BOOKSTORE ABOUT A MILE AWAY IS THRIVING AND JUST EXPANDED. I FOUND A BETTER ANTIQUE STORE. AND I'VE RE-DISCOVERED A LOCAL CARD SHOP THAT HAS BEEN AROUND DECADES, BUT HAS BEEN BOUNCING AROUND FROM LOCATION TO LOCATION. I WENT TO WHERE I THOUGHT IT WAS, FOUND A KARATE PLACE AND GOOGLED THE STORE NAME AND FOUND THEY STILL EXISTED AND MOVED A COUPLE MILES DOWN THE STREET

THIS STORE, JT SPORTS COLLECTIBLES, IS A MUCH DIFFERENT STORE THAN MY MAIN LCS, CHAMPION SPORTS CARDS. THEY BOTH HAVE WAX, SINGLES AND MEMORABILIA, BUT CHAMPION HAS MORE SPACE AND A LARGE AMOUNT OF SHELVES FILLED WITH HIGHLY ORGANIZED BOXES OF SINGLES. JT'S PLACE IS MORE CRAMPED AND HAS LESS CARDS BUT YOU'RE WAY MORE LIKELY TO FIND SOME UNLIKELY HIDDEN TREASURES. CHEAP SETS, RARE ODDBALLS, UNEXPECTED AUTOGRAPHS. I'VE FOUND A LOT OF GOOD STUFF THERE THROUGH THE YEARS AND AM HAPPY TO HAVE FOUND IT AGAIN. ESPECIALLY SINCE UNLIKE CHAMPION, THEY ARE OPEN ON SUNDAYS. HERE'S A SAMPLE OF NEAT STUFF I FOUND ON MY LAST TRIP THERE

ANOTHER NOTE ON THE IMAGES HERE, I TRIED A PHONE APP THAT 'SCANS' CARDS BY TAKING 4 DIFFERENT IMAGES AND MERGING THEM ALL TOGETHER TO REMOVE GLARE. IT KINDA WORKS? IT'S MUCH FASTER THAN SCANNING BUT IS A LITTLE DARK AND CAN HAVE SOME DISTORTION (CHECK THE FOIL ON THE DREXLER CARD FOR SOME WEIRDNESS). I MIGHT TRY IT AGAIN SOMETIME BUT WILL PROBABLY DEFAULT TO PHONE PICS WHEN I'M BEING LAZY 

1995 DENNY'S GREG MADDUX

IT'S STRANGE, IN 1996 AND 97 MY ROOMATE AND I WENT TO DENNY'S SO MANY TIMES TO EAT CRUMMY FOOD AND BUY TONS OF PINNACLE DENNY'S CARD PACKS, BUT IN 1995 WE DIDN'T GO EVEN ONCE TO BUY SOME OF THESE. WHY DID WE IGNORE THE UPPER DECK YEARS? I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THESE EXISTED UNTIL MUCH LATER. WE PROBABLY HAD DECENT JOBS BY THEN AND COULD AFFORD TO PAY MORE TO GET BAD FOOD WITH BASEBALL CARDS INSTEAD OF JUST GOING TO WAFFLE HOUSE. DENNY'S HOLGRAM CARDS ARE GREAT THOUGH AND ARE RARE ENOUGH TO SEEM SPECIAL BUT COMMON ENOUGH TO FREQUENTLY BE FOUND IN BARGAIN BOXES. I DROPPED TWO BUCKS ON THIS ONE BECAUSE MADDUX IN ATLANTA BUT HAD TO HAVE IT BECAUSE IT'S ONE OF THE VERY FEW NON- KELLOGG'S CARDS I'VE EVER SEEN THAT HAS A CRACK IN IT, YEAH I KNOW IT'S NO LONGER GEM MEEENT ANYMORE BUT THAT IS FASCINATING TO ME. HOW DID THAT CRACK EVEN GET THERE? I DON'T SEE ANY CREASE ON THE CARD. WHAT HAPPENED? PRETTY SURE I ALREADY HAVE THIS CARD AS WELL BUT I SURE DON'T HAVE ONE WITH A BIG CRACK SNAKING OVER THE HOLOGRAM

1996-97 FLEER ULTRA CLYDE DREXLER 1986 ULTRA DECADE

FOR FLEER'S 10TH ANNIVERSARY THEY CREATED AN INSERT SET OF TWENTY OF THE BEST PLAYERS FROM THEIR 1986-87 SET. AND PUT THEM IN FLEER ULTRA FOR SOME REASON. I WISH I HAD BOUGHT MORE ULTRA THAT YEAR TO PULL MORE OF THESE CARDS (AND FOR OTHER REASONS) BUT I'VE GOT A SMALL COLLECTION OF THEM. I WAS VERY EXCITED TO FIND CLYDE IN THE BASKETBALL BOX FOR A NICE PRICE. THIS IS ACTUALLY A SOMEWHAT REASONABLE SET TO COMPLETE, EVEN THE CARD OF YOU KNOW WHO ISN'T CRAZY EXPENSIVE

1971-72 TOPPS WALT WESLEY

I HAVE A RULE: IF I SEE CHEAP VINTAGE BASKETBALL CARDS WHILE SCROUNGING THRU A BOX, I GOTTA PICK ONE OF THEM UP. I FOUND SOME AND I PICKED THIS ONE. 1971-72 TOPPS IS A GREAT LOOKING SET. LOOKS LIKE A SET OF 1969 TOPPS FOOTBALL GOT THROWN IN A BLENDER WITH A FEW 1986 AND 1972 TOPPS BASEBALL CARDS FOR FLAVOR. I SLIGHTLY PREFER THE 72-73 DESIGN BUT IT'S LIKE PREFERRING PIZZA OVER BUFFALO WINGS. GIMME BOTH AND A BOTTLE OF TUMS. WALT WAS A SUCCESSFUL BACKUP CENTER WHO PLAYED IN THE LEAGUE FOR TEN YEARS. THIS CARD SHOWS OFF THE STATS FOR HIS BEST SEASON AS A MEMBER OF THE EXPANSION CLEVELAND CAVALIERS. IT'S ALSO VERY CHRISTMASSY WITH ALL THE GREEN AND RED

2003 FLEER SWEET STITCHES TODD HELTON RELIC CARD #888/899

RELIC CARDS ARE WORTHLESS NOW LOL. YOU CAN FIND SO MANY GOOD RELIC CARDS FOR DIRT CHEAP NOWADAYS, EVEN OF PLAYERS WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE ELECTED TO THE HALL OF FAME BY THE TIME THIS GETS POSTED. TODD'S A GREAT HITTER, WAS A QUARTERBACK FOR TENNESSEE AND THERE'S A SERIAL NUMBER THAT LOOKS LIKE A SNOWMAN CONVENTION ON THIS CARD AND I STILL GET IT FOR LIKE A BUCK. I ALREADY HAVE SEVERAL TODD HELTON RELICS BUT HAD TO PICK THIS ONE UP BECAUSE IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY THE JERSEY SWATCH IS ALL MESSED UP. THERE'S A GAP IN BETWEEN THE TOP AND BOTTOM OF THE FABRIC AND HALF THE WINDOW FOR THE WORD SWATCHES IS MISSING THREADS. JERSEY RELICS MAY BE PLENTIFUL BUT GOOFS ARE RARE AND FUN

2001-02 UPPER DECK JOE JOHNSON RC

IN THE EARLY 2000S, DOMINIQUE WILKINS WAS OUT OF THE LEAGUE AND THE HAWKS WERE JUST DISMAL SO MY BASKETBALL CARD COLLECTING TOOK A DIP UNTIL AL HORFORD WAS DRAFTED IN 2007. AS A RESULT I MISSED A FEW ROOKIES HERE AND THERE. JOE JOHNSON WAS A BIG PART OF SOME OF THOSE DISMAL HAWKS TEAMS AND PLAYED FOR-EVER. HE CAME EXTREMELY CLOSE TO WINNING A TITLE WITH BOSTON LAST YEAR AS HE GOT BROUGHT BACK FOR ONE GAME WHEN HALF THE LEAGUE WAS SICK. ISO JOE IS A BASKETBALL LEGEND AND I COULDN'T PASS UP HIS ROOKIE FOR FIFTY CENTS

2019-20 PANINI CERTIFIED CAM REDDISH 2019

WHAT KINDA IDIOT NAMES AN INSERT SET THE YEAR THE SET WAS PRODUCED. THIS WAS A VERY CONFUSING CARD TO LOOK UP. I WAS SOOOOO EXCITED WHEN CAM DROPPED TO THE HAWKS IN THE 2019 DRAFT. MAN, THAT WAS A FUN DRAFT EVEN THOUGH DE'ANDRE HASN'T QUITE YET LIVED UP TO POTENTIAL AND CAM CRASHED AND BURNED IN ATLANTA. BUT SINCE HE WAS DRAFTED RIGHT BEFORE THE WORLD ENDED, I HAVE BEEN ALMOST COMPLETELY UNABLE TO RIP ANY NBA PACKS AND HAVE VERY FEW ROOKIES OR EVEN CARDS OF CAM. I WAS HAPPY TO SNAG A CHEAP EXTREMELY SHINY ROOKIE YEAR INSERT SO I COULD BE REMINDED OF THE GOOD TIMES AND BE HOPEFUL HE GETS IT TOGETHER IN NEW YORK OR WHEREVER HE GETS TRADED TO NEXT

2015 PANINI ROOKIES AND STARS MATT RYAN LONGEVITY PARALLEL

NOW THAT MATTY ICE IS OUT OF ATLANTA I CAN FINALLY STEP BACK AND LET GO MY ANGER TOWARDS THIS CHUMP TRYING TO REPLACE MICHAEL VICK AND ADMIT THAT MATT RYAN WAS A DAMNED GOOD QUARTERBACK. I AIN'T GOING TO COLLECT HIS CARDS, BUT I'LL PICK UP A SUPER SHINY ONE HERE AND THERE FOR OLD TIME'S SAKE. THIS ONE IS VERY SHINY AND COLORFUL AND THE SCAN DOES NOT DO IT JUSTICE. THE SHEER NUMBER OF PANINI PARALLELS IS TEDIOUS AND I HAVE NO IDEA IF THIS ONE IS SCARCE OR NOT BUT IT'S PRETTY SO WHO CARES

2020-21 PRIZM JEFF TEAGUE WHATEVER THE RED PARALLEL IS

JEFF TEAGUE IS WEIRDLY UNDERRATED IN ATLANTA. HE WAS A SOLID STARTING POINT GUARD FOR FIVE YEARS AND WAS ON THE 60 WIN TEAM THAT WENT TO THE EASTERN CONFERENCE FINALS. THE ONLY POINT GUARD IN ATLANTA HISTORY TO GO FURTHER IN THE PLAYOFFS IS TRAE. HE EVEN SNUCK HIS WAY BACK ON THE TEAM AS THE BACK OF THE CARD SAYS AND IS STILL IN THE ORGINIZATION AS A SCOUT. PLUS HE MANAGED TO GET A RING WITH THE BUCKS TO CAP A NICE LITTLE CAREER. THE BEST PART ABOUT THIS CARD IS THE SHINKY* RED BORDER THAT MATCHES PERFECTLY WITH THE WEIRD TRIANGLE UNIFORMS THE HAWKS WORE FOR A WHILE. I'VE BEEN PICKING UP MORE COLOR-APPROPRIATE PARALLEL CARDS LATELY, IT'S A FUN DIVERSION

THIS IS THE KIND OF STUFF YOU CAN FIND AT JT'S. MAYBE NOT CARDS FROM THAT SET YOU'RE LAZER FOCUSED ON COMPLETING BUT IT'S A GOOD WAY TO KILL AN HOUR AND A FEW BUCKS ON A A SUNDAY AFTERNOON

*THIS SHOULD SAY 'SHINY' BUT I THINK SHINKY WORKS

I guess I better post this now, huh?

So about 3 months ago I bought a couple of packs of Olympic cards. The plan was to video rip 'em and post 'em the day of the opening ceremonies. Anyone following my YouTube account knows that didn't happen. I haven't posted much of anything there because my camera is pretty much dead. I need to sell off half my collection and upgrade my electronics hardware very badly. I can't video it, but I can scan it so here's the pack a couple weeks late but at least the Olympics are still going on. They are still going on, aren't they?

Disclaimer: I have no idea who any of these people are. Still. I'm going to write a sentence or two about each and then Google 'em to see how they've done. Over/Under on how many time I make a fool of myself is 4.5. Place your bets. 

#17 Ryan Lochte - Swimming

Not Mr. Phelps, but according to the back of the card he has a couple of gold medals of his own. Like Mike on the front of the pack, Ryan is topless and his nipples are on full display. I am on the record as being against nipplage of all sorts on trading cards and this set is chock full of nipples. If you imagine the red stripes of the flag in the background of these cards as rivers of blood this set's nipple and gorefest rivals your average David Cronenberg movie.

Apparently this dude has two Golds, two Silvers and a Bronze in London. Not bad.

#99 Alex Meyer - Open Water Swimming

The fact that he is wearing a jacket does not make up for that smug look on his face. According to the back of the card he is a graduate of Harvard. OoooOOOoooh... HAHvahd. Throw this dude in the Atlantic and let him do some open water swimming away from some sharks. Sharks don't 'do' smug.

Alex came in 10th in the 10K marathon. His Google picture doesn't look smug at all. Now I feel bad I called him smug and wanted him nibbled by sharks.

#12 Brenda Villa - Water Polo

Yay! A girl! Thankfully wearing a shirt too. I like my Olympians modest, unlike those savage ancient Greeks. Put on a fig leaf or SOMETHING, people. Two things about Water Polo. I have only sat down to watch the Olympics twice so far, and one time women's water polo was on. Water polo is boring as hell when you watch it on tv. Throw the ball. Swim a bit. Defensive player tries to drown you. Swim some more. Whistle blows for no reason. Throw swim and drown some more. Throw the ball at the goal. That's pretty much it. I guess it's a great sport to watch if you like seeing people needlessly drown. Not for me though.

U.S. Women's team won gold over Spain! Way to go! And apparently no one drowned! That's world class athleticism right there.

#87 Nathan Adrian - Swimming

Ugh, Another swimmer. Spoiler: I did get more cards than nipples in this pack, but it was damn close. Let's see how many times he lost to Phelps.

Two golds and a silver... nice. Lots of medals in this pack. We're up to 5 golds, 3 silvers and a bronze so far.

#24 Todd Rogers - Beach Volleyball

While I didn't specifically sit down and watch a beach volleyball match, every single time I walked through the living room while my wife had it on beach volleyball seemed to be on. Maybe not the whole time, but at least once a day. Didn't see one men's match either. I WONDER WHY NBC MADE THAT EDITORIAL DECISION.

Todd and Phil Dalhausser lost in the round of 16 to... ITALIA!!!!!!! Sorry Todd. I'm a quarter Italian, I gotta do that every time I refer to that country in any sporting event.

#99 Alex Meyer - Open Water Swimming Gold Parallel

Parallel my ass, I say it's a double and I say the hell with it!

OR-DB Dotsie Bausch Relic #41/75

Three color relic! Sweet! I know nothing about Cycling! Well, that's not true, but my knowledge drops off precipitously after Lance Armstrong and Pee-Wee Herman.

Wow, Dotsie is a former model who started cycling during anorexia and cocaine rehab and won silver in the Team Pursuit finals. This is now in my "awesome relic card" permanent collection.

#36 Tucker Dupree - Swimming Bronze Parallel

I was all set to complain about getting more swimmer's nipples but according to the card back Tucker woke up one morning to blurry vision and has lost most of his sight since. When I was 6th grade a detached retina did the same thing to me and it was months before I got my vision back completely. Tucker's not getting his vision back. He's still a champion swimmer in the Paralympics and according to his Twitter feed it looks like he's competing in 3 days. Good luck Tucker, I'm rooting for ya!

2009 Topps Heritage High Series Box Break - Part 2: Packs 1-8

Here's packs 1-8 of the Heritage High box. I've got all your guesses for my SAT exam just about scored, I'm just trying to figure out how to rule one one of the answers. I'll announce the winner this weekend.

Pack 1

561 Derek Lowe
532 CJ Wilson
514 Anthony Swarzak RC
700 Huston Street SP
517 Michael Saunders RC
584 Julio Lugo

D-Lowe starts off the box along with a short print. Amazingly there were no dupes among my SPs even though I had a few already.

Pack 2

652 Tyler Greene RC
613 Josh Bard
596 Jason Marquis
CC-RH Ryan Howard Bat
645 Mike Sweeney

Second pack reveals the hit. Luckily we have the Tommy Hanson SP to provide further suspense. Lots of people guessed a relic would be the hit, but no one picked Ryan Howard.  I could have done much worse than this I suppose.

Pack 3

525 Braden Looper
640 Melky Cabrera
685 Sean West RC
CHR199 Chris Tillman RC Chrome 1569/1960
508 Alex Cora
663 Wilkin Ramirez RC

Melky! I just don't get the hate towards the Melk man. These guys want to deport him. To North Korea. Wilkin Ramirez is also a newly acquired Brave.

Pack 4

537 Chris Gimenez RC
556 David Hernandez RC
693 Chris Coghlan RC SP
CHR150 Elvis Andrus RC Chrome Refractor 123/560
579 George Sherrill
536 Marc Rzepczynski RC

An SP and Chrome refractor in the same pack, not bad. Not bad at all.

Pack 5

590 Jarrett Hoffpauir RC
617 Julio Borbon RC
638 Matt Maloney RC
TN-3 Brooks Robinson & Adrian Beltre Then and Now
678 Ryan Spilborghs
527 Brandon Wood

Brooksie and Beltre. They don't really seem to be the same kind of player to me. High number Then & Nows can have some odd pairings.

Pack 6

656 Orlando Cabrera
680 Scott Hairston
676 Ryan Perry RC
CHR197 Takashi Saito Chrome 1588/1960
551 Jack Wilson
602 Jesus Guzman RC

Can ya believe I already have this Saito Chrome? I popped it into a package for a Sawx fan today. The lettering on this Chrome card looks like enamel. It's a nifty look.

Pack 7

657 Vin Mazzaro RC
671 Ross Gload
659 Rafael Soriano
RP-07 Gordon Beckham Rookie Performers
639 Scott Kazmir
620  Kanshin Kawakami RC

Beckham insert and two Braves who are no longer with the team. Not bad at all.

Pack 8

616 Juan Uribe
586 JJ Putz
555 David Freese RC
688 Andrew McCutcheon RC SP
592 Cliff Lee
534 Cesar Izturis

McCutcheon is one of the big three short printed rookies along with Beckham and Hanson. Cliff Lee on a Phillies card is mildly amusing. Halladay's up on the Nats 1-0 as I type this so not all that amusing.

Happy Frank Zappa day

Ok, so Frank Zappa day was actually August 9th 2007. I'm not three years late, I'm just trying to create a new holiday. It's not like there's a decent holiday in August anyway. So what if such a holiday has no commercial potential, you don't need greeting cards or presents or candy or a gigantic feast with all the family over to sit around in your underwear all day drinking coffee and listening to all six volumes of You Cant Do That on Stage Anymore.

This is also a good time to share a card I got from the Dean of card bloggers, Chris Harris. Back in April, he did a bad, bad thing. Something I still can't bring myself to write about. But mixed amongst the horrors was something beautiful.

A Stale Gum original Relic. What could this be???

FRANK ZAPPA'S VISAGE LOVINGLY PRESSED INTO A DISC OF UNITED STATES CURRENCY AND SUBSEQUENTLY EMBEDDED INTO A CARD!

There's even card back legalese!

Congratulations!
You have received an authentic Frank Zappa squished penny. This penny was squished on a% a& authentic I-95 rest stop in Maryland. 
                                                                                                 1/1

It's 100% real, yo!

I considered MSPainting a Zappa card for this post, but really, the unique squished penny relic stands on its own. In honor of the best relic card I've seen this year here's my favorite Zappa song, featuring Don Van Vliet on growls.


That's the best guitar solo you will ever hear right there, folks. Enjoy the third anniversary of Zappa Day and celebrate this day as is the custom of your people.