FESTIVE HALLOWEEN CRAP

 HAPPY HALLOWEEN! OCTOBER IS OVER AND THAT MEANS IT'S TIME FOR SPOOKY CHRISTMAS WITH MONSTERS AND CANDY AND LOW BUDGET MOVIES WITH FAKE BLOOD OOZING EVERYWHERE. OH HOW I LOVE THIS SCARY HOLIDAY SEASON. THIS SEASON DOES NOT LOVE ME HOWEVER AS I HAVE HAD MAYBE MY LOUSIEST MONTH SINCE MARCH 2009. HOO BOY HAVE THE TERRIBLE THINGS JUST KEEPED ON HAPPENING THIS MONTH. I'VE BEEN DEALING WITH THE TERRIBLE THINGS FOR THE PAST WEEK INCLUDING YESTERDAY AKA MY DAY OFF AKA THE DAY I USUALLY GET TO RELAX AND WRITE UP SOME BLOG POSTS. SO UH, THIS MIGHT BE THE LAST BLOG POST FOR A FEW DAYS

WHILE I WAS IN THE PROCESS OF CLEANING UP OCTOBER'S MESS YESTERDAY I DECIDED TO HOP INTO TARGET TO GET MYSELF A LITTLE TREAT. THE MAIN REASON I WAS IN TARGET IS I HAD TO STOP SOMEWHERE TO PEE BECAUSE I HAD BEEN DRIVING FOR ALMOST TWO HOURS, BUT THE TREAT BIT WAS WHY I CHOSE TARGET. AS YOU ALL KNOW TARGET HAS A TRADING CARD AISLE! THIS TARGET'S CARD AISLE WAS WAY IN THE BACK BEHIND THE TOYS BECAUSE THEY MOVED IT BACK THERE TO CONFUSE THE RABID PACKS OF VERMINOUS FLIPPERS THAT INFESTED CARD AISLES IN 2020. I LOOKED AT THE CARDS AND SAW A 2023 FACTORY SET WITH A BONUS RELIC OR AUTOGRAPH CARD FOR SEVENTY BUCKS! I DIDN'T HAVE SEVENTY BUCKS. I SAW AN ALLEN & GINTER BLASTER FOR TWENTY FIVE BUCKS! I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE SPENDING THAT FOR 48 CARDS. I SAW A 2023 TOPPS UPDATE HANGER FOR TWELVE BUCKS! TOPPS DROPPED THE NUMBER OF CARDS TO 59 AND I JUST WASN'T FEELING IT. THERE WAS A PACK OF CHRONCLES! FOOTBALL. DRAFT PICKS. I LOOKED NEXT TO THE CARD AISLE WHERE ALL THE BLIND BAGS AND FUNKO POPS LIVE AND FOUND THIS:

A NECO SCI-FI AND HORROR BLIND BAG. OVER TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS WORTH OF TOYS AND COLLECTIBLES FOR ONLY $9.99! PACKED WITH SCARY COLLECTIBLES! AND BY SCARY COLLECTIBLES THEY MEAN CRAP THAT DIDN'T SELL OR WERE GOING TO BE IN A LOOT CRATE BEFORE THEY WENT BANKRUPT. THERE ARE TONS OF VIDEOS ONLINE WITH PEOPLE OPENING THESE BLIND BAGS AND IT SEEMS THEY ARE USUALLY FILLED WITH TWO TO FOUR TCHOTCHKES FOR YOUR TEN BUCKS. THIS PARTICULAR BAG FELT PRETTY HEFTY AND I WEIGHED IT AGAINST A SKINNY HANGER OF UPDATE. HONESTLY IF IT WAS SEPTEMBER OR NOVEMBER, I PROBABLY WOULD'VE GONE WITH UPDATE. BUT NO! IT WAS SPOOKY CHRISTMAS EVE! MY TREAT WOULD BE A HALLOWEEN TREAT. ALSO I COULD GET THIS AND A DRINK FOR THE PRICE OF A HANGER. I DREAM OF SOME CLASSIC MONSTERS OR MAYBE SOME 80S HORROR ICONS. LET'S SEE WHAT SCARY DELIGHTS AWAIT US!

THIS... IS NOT SCARY. THIS IS A MATCHBOX CAR WITH A BLADE RUNNER LICENSE. IT LOOKS VERY PLASTIC COMPARED TO ACTUAL MATCHBOX CARS AND I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE SO I DON'T KNOW HOW ACCURATE THE THREE WHEELER CAR IS. IT'S FINE AS A START BUT TOY CARS AREN'T MY THING AND THIS SEEMS LIKE IT IS FIRMLY IN THE 'COLLECTIBLE' CATEGORY. IF YOU WANT A CAR TO PLAY WITH, TARGET HAS A TON OF BETTER ONES FOR $1.19 EACH. I DON'T KNOW WHY I CALL THEM MATCHBOX CARS INSTEAD OF HOT WHEELS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE ON THE PLANET

THE BACK HAS A PICTURE OF THE TOY AND A FILM SUMMARY THAT WOULD NORMALLY BE SEEN ON THE BACK OF AN EIGHT FILMS IN ONE DVD BOX SET YOU FIND IN THE FIVE DOLLAR BIN AT WAL-MART. I'M SURE SOMEONE OUT THERE IS LOSING THEIR MINDS AT HOW COOL THIS IS BUT I'M PRETTY MEH ON THIS ONE, SORRY! THE NEXT THING IS WAY BETTER

MAD BALLS! HELL YEAH! I HAD ONE WHEN I WAS A KID. I ASKED FOR THE BASEBALL DUDE AND I GOT THE ONE WITH THE EYEBALL DRIPPING OUT THAT LEGIT SCARED ME AND MADE ME UPSET INSTEAD. WONDERFUL CHILDHOOD MEMORIES! I REMEMBER WHEN THESE REBOOTED VERSIONS WERE FIRST ANNOUNCED I WAS SUPER EXCITED AND THEN WHEN I ACTUALLY SAW ONE IN A STORE I DECIDED I LIKED MY MONEY A LITTLE BETTER. NOW, YEARS LATER MY DREAM IS FINALLY REALIZED THROUGH THE MAGIC OF RANDOM CRAP

THE BACK IS KINDA FUNNY IN ITS INSISTANCE THAT THIS IS NOT A TOY. FOR AGES 15 AND UP ONLY.  RARE COLLECTIBLE! DO NOT PLAY. BULLSHIT. IT'S A BALL, I'M ABSOLUTELY GOING TO PLAY WITH IT. THE LAYWERS PROBABLY HAD THEM PUT THIS ON THERE DUE TO IT BEING MADE WITH LEAD PAINT AND ASBESTOS OR SOMETHING. JUST KIDDING! I THINK. THEY'RE PROBABLY JUST MADE FROM THE SOULS OF SAD ORPHANS AND OTHER SUCH INNOCUOUS SUBSTANCES. NO ONE WANTS THEIR KID TO TAKE A HEALTHY BITE OF ORPHAN SOUL WHEN THEY GET INTO THE SHELF OF RARE COLLECTIBLES. THERE'S A CHECKLIST OF ALL THE MAD BALLS TO COLLECT ON THE BACK AND I THINK THEY ARE ALL ORIGINAL 80S DESIGNS:

SLOBULUS - THAT DUDE WITH THE DRIPPY EYEBALL THAT GROSSED ME OUT SO MUCH WHEN I WAS A KID. SERIOUSLY, DANGLING EYEBALLS ARE ONE OF THE THINGS THAT SQUICK ME OUT THE MOST AND THAT'S THE MAD BALL MY FAMILY PICKS OUT FOR CHRISTMAS. THIS WOULD BE THE FUNNIEST ONE FOR ME TO GET

OCULUS ORBUS - IT'S... JUST AN EYEBALL. I MEAN, EYEBALLS ARE SCARY, I JUST WENT OFF ON HOW ONE POPPING OUT A PLASTIC MONSTER'S HEAD RUINED MY CHILDHOOD BUT IT'S JUST AN EYEBALL

SCREAMIN' MEEMIE - THE OBJECT OF MY YOUNG HEART'S DESIRE. NOWADAYS IT JUST LOOKS GOOFY BUT I WAS ALWAYS MORE OF A COMEDY KID THAN A MONSTER KID IF WE'RE BEING HONEST ABOUT IT. JUST LIKE MY PARENTS, I NEVER SAW THIS ONE IN THE SHOPS. BASEBALL MUST BE A LOT MORE POPULAR THAN WE KNOW

HORN HEAD - THIS WAS NOT AT ALL ON MY RADAR AS A KID BUT LOOKING AT IT NOW IT'S KINDA BADASS. HELL YEAH EVIL CYCLOPS BALL. I WANT THIS ONE MORE THAN SCREAMIN' MEEMIE

DUST BRAIN - MUMMIES WERE NEVER MY FAVORITE MONSTER AND THIS ONE LOOKS A LITTLE WEAK. NOT A TOP-TIER MAD BALL IN MY OPINION. APOLOGIES IF THIS WAS YOUR GREATEST CHILDHOOD TREASURE

SKULL FACE - SKULL FACE IS DEFINITELY TOP-TIER THOUGH. DEM RED EYES PEEPING OUT AT YOU AND THE LITTLE BIT OF BRAIN LEAKING OUT THE BACK IS GNARLY. EXTREMELY SINISTER, ESPECIALLY WITH THAT GRIN. THIS IS ANOTHER ONE I WOULDN'T MIND GETTING

LOCK LIPS - I REMEMBER THIS ONE FREAKING ME OUT A BIT AS WELL WHEN I WAS A KID. I DIDN'T LIKE THE METAL PLATES ATTACHED TO THIS DUDE'S FACE. IT JUST SEEMED KINDA AWFUL. ALSO AN ODD PUN FOR A KIDS' TOY, WHAT WERE THOSE AMERICAN GREETINGS GUYS THINKING

FREAKY FULLBACK - THEY NEEDED TO HAMMER HOME THAT THESE WERE TOYS FOR BOYS SO THEY INCLUDED BOTH SPORTS. I WAS NEVER SUPER INTERESTED IN THIS ONE. PLUS: MOAR EYE TRAUMA

SWINE SUCKER - THE ANIMAL KINGDOM IS REPRESENTED BY THIS PIGGY FELLOW. IT'S COOL LOOKING BUT I WOULD PREFER IT WITHOUT ALL THE SNOT. 80'S GROSS-OUT HUMOR FOR KIDS DEMANDS SNOTS THOUGH SO I GUESS IT HAD TO GO SOMEWHERE

ALL RIGHTY! LET'S SEE WHO I GOT!

LOCK LIPS! THIS LITTLE DUDE IS REALLY DETAILED AND ISN'T AS UNNERVING AS I THOUGHT SINCE IT'S EXTREMELY OBVIOUS THAT HE'S A FRANKENSTEIN OF SOME SORT. IT'S OK FOR FRANKENSTEINS TO HAVE BOLTS AND OTHER ASSORTED HARDWARE ON THEIR HEADS. I'M SUPER HAPPY WITH THIS AND THE BLINDBAG WOULD BE WORTH IT TO ME IF IT WAS THE ONLY THING IN IT. WHICH IS A GOOD THING BECAUSE...

ACTUAL TRASH. THIS IS A CHEAP PLASTIC FIVE NIGHT'S AT FREDDY'S TOP HAT ACCESSORY FOR I ASSUME A LARGE PLUSH FREDDY FAZBEAR THAT GOT SQUASHED IN THE BOTTOM OF THE BAG AND IS NOW CRACKED IN LIKE FIVE PLACES. OR MAYBE YOU CAN WEAR THE HAT YOURSELF? YOU'D LOOK PRETTY DUMB WEARING THIS TINY HAT UNLESS YOU WERE A VERY SMALL CHILD WHICH, COME TO THINK OF IT, IS REALLY THE TARGET AUDIENCE FOR FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S. IT IS DEFINITELY HORROR THOUGH BUT NECA SHOULD HAVE SENT THIS TO A DOLLAR TREE INSTEAD OF LITERALLY BREAKING IT TO FIT INSIDE A BLIND BAG. THIS ALMOST WENT STRAIGHT INTO THE GARBAGE BEFORE I REALIZED

FANCY LOCK LIPS

AWW MAN, DOESN'T HE LOOK CLASSY! I COULD SEE HIM SINGING PUTTIN' ON THE RITZ IF HE COULD JUST OPEN HIS MOUTH. LOOKING AT VIDEOS OF OTHER BLIND BAG RIPS THERE ARE A FEW COOL THINGS THAT CAN BE FOUND IN THEM LIKE A LEATHERFACE PLUSHIE, A GODZILLA CORD GRABBER AND AN EVIL DEAD MINI DISPLAY. BUT THERE IS A LOTTA CRAP TOO AS YOU CAN SEE HERE. I DUNNO ABOUT A TWENTY FIVE DOLLAR VALUE BUT I CERTAINLY GOT MY TEN BUCKS' WORTH AND AM VERY HAPPY WITH MY DISGUSTING LITTLE MAD BALL FRIEND. HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE! MAY YOU ALL FIND A FRIEND TODAY!

QUARTER BOX CRAP - BUCK #8

 HERE IS THE FINALE OF MY QUARTER BOX PICKUPS UNLESS I GO THROUGH WITH MY THREAT TO GO BACK TO THE SHOP AND DO ANOTHER RAID ON THE BOX. I THINK I MIGHT NEED TO LET IT SIT A WHILE AND RECHARGE. MAYBE I'LL MAKE IT TO CARD SHOW AND HIT THE REALLY GOOD QUARTER BOXES INSTEAD

2022 TOPPS RANDY AROZARENA STARS OF MLB INSERT

THESE STARS OF MLB INSERTS ARE PRACTICALLY COMMONS NOW SINCE THEY WERE INSERTED INTO PRETTY MUCH EVERY PACK. I'M NOT ESPECIALLY MAD ABOUT THIS BECAUSE THERE'S A LOT OF GOOD PLAYERS IN THERE. RANDY IS A ROOKIE OF THE YEAR, ALL-STAR AND PLAYOFF HERO AND THIS IS A PRETTY NICE LOOKING CARD

2022 DONRUSS SANDY ALCANTARA ORANGE BORDER PARALLEL

THERE ARE SO MANY FLAVORS OF DONRUSS PARALLELS I CAN'T KEEP TRACK OF THEM ALL. THIS IS A RETAIL EXCLUSIVE? MAYBE? IT'S SHINY AND ORANGE. SANDY HANDILY WON THE CY YOUNG AWARD LAST YEAR AND PRETTY MUCH WRECKED MY BRAVES. HE'S NOT PITCHING QUITE AS WELL BUT AT LEAST HE'S NOT HAVING THE INJURY-FILLED YEAR RUNNER UP MAX FRIED IS HAVING. I AM A LITTLE CONFUSED BY THIS UNIFORM HE'S WEARING. MIAMI'S CITY CONNECT UNIFORMS DO HAVE A RED JERSEY BUT THE CAP IS TEAL. I'M FAIRLY CONFIDENT THAT PANINI JUST WENT OVERBOARD WITH THE PHOTOSHOPPING AND DIDN'T ACTUALLY USE AN OLD PHOTO OF HIM WITH THE CARDINALS. THAT IS ONE BIG DOWNSIDE OF THE BOOTLEG PANINI CARDS, NO WEIRD ALTERNATE UNIS ALLOWED

2022 DONRUSS TREA TURNER THE HIT LIST INSERT

OH YEAH AN ACTUAL DONRUSS INSERT INSTEAD OF JUST PARALLELS. THIS ONE IS SHINY AS HELL TOO, 3-D TEXT, FIREWORK PATTERNS AND RAINBOW FOIL EVERYWHERE. SO DAZZLING. TREA (I'VE TRIED TO CALL HIM TRAE TWICE SO FAR BUT I'VE THANKFULLY CAUGHT MYSELF) IS HAVING AN OFF YEAR BY HIS STANDARDS BUT HE IS ALSO A CERTIFIED BRAVES KILLER AND THOSE TWO SERIES AGAINST PHILLY IN SEPTEMBER ARE LOOMING. HE COULD VERY EASILY HAVE HIS WORST SEASON IN NINE YEARS AND STILL RUIN US IN SIX GAMES 

2021 MOSAIC IVAN RODRIGUEZ BLUE AND RED PRIZM SQUARES EVERYWHERE NIGHTMARE PARALLEL

LAST CARD IS THE SHINYPRIZM PUDGE. SO FAR MY HYPOTHESIS OF 'PANINI CATCHER CARDS LOOK FANTASTIC' IS HOLDING UP. ADMITTEDLY THE TEXAS COLORS ON THIS PARALLEL IS DOING A LOT OF THE WORK. I HAVE A FEELING THAT IF IVAN WAS IN HIS MARLINS DUDS THIS CARD MIGHT NOT HAVE WORKED AS WELL. TIGERS WOULD BE OK THOUGH, HALF THE CARDS ON PANINI PRODUCT LOOK LIKE THE TIGERS. I LOVE THESE KIND OF CARDS WHERE IT DOESN'T REALLY FIT THE KIND OF STUFF I COLLECT BUT IT'S SO CHEAP AND COOL LOOKING IT DOESN'T MATTER

THAT'S ALL FOR NOW BUT IF/WHEN I HIT ANOTHER QUARTER BOX YOU'LL PROBABLY SEE MORE OF THIS SINCE THESE WERE THE EASIEST AND QUICKEST POSTS I'VE WRITTEN IN YEARS

QUARTER BOX CRAP - BUCK 7

 WHEN DIGGING THROUGH BOXES OF CARDS I DON'T NEED I TRY TO LIMIT MYSELF TO ONLY GETTING FIVE BUCKS WORTH BUT IT NEVER HAPPENS. I COULDN'T EVEN STOP AT SIX THIS TIME. AND - SPOILER ALERT - THIS AIN'T THE LAST QUARTER BOX POST FOR THIS BATCH. BEFORE THESE ALL GO UP ON THE BLOG I MIGHT EVEN GO BACK TO THE SHOP FOR SECONDS. I LEFT QUITE A FEW CARDS BEHIND AND PROBABLY SKIPPED OVER A FEW MORE GOOD ONES IN MY HASTE

2022 DONRUSS WILLIE STARGELL STARS BORDER PARALLEL

THIS IS BY FAR MY FAVORITE PICKUP FROM THE BOX BINGE. POPS ON THE 88 DONRUSS DESIGN WITH STARS ON THE BORDER. FANTASTIC. SOMETHING'S UP WITH THIS PARALLEL BECAUSE ALL THE OTHER 1988 RETRO CARDS HAVE GLOSSY BACKS AND THIS ONE IS MATTE. I REFUSE TO LOOK UP ALL THE PARALLELS FOR THIS SET SO I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE IT'S A SUPER SCARCE SHORT PRINT VARIATION. ALSO: THE PANINIZATION OF WILLIE'S UNIFORM TO TURN ALL THE YELLOW STRIPES SOLID BLACK IS RIDICULOUS AND I LOVE IT. THIS ISN'T THE ONLY STARGELL CARD THEY'VE DONE IT TO EITHER. PANINI TURNING POPS INTO A REFEREE

2022 DONRUSS BROOKS ROBINSON RED BORDER PARALLEL

IT'S KINDA RIDICULOUS I GOT THE JOHNNY BENCH CARD WITH ORANGE BORDERS AND THE BROOKS ROBINSON CARD WITH RED BORDERS. THEY LOOK REALLY GOOD SIDE BY SIDE THOUGH, MAYBE DONRUSS KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE DOING. SPEAKING OF DONRUSS HAVE I POSTED MY 2023 RACK PACK YET? IF NOT, YELL AT ME. I GOT THAT THING JUST AFTER FATHER'S DAY AND AM BEING SLOW ABOUT POSTING. THERE'S SOME GOOD STUFF IN THERE

2022 TOPPS INCEPTION JESSE WINKER

IT MAKES ME SOOOO HAPPY TO FIND A BASE CARD FROM A HIGH-END PRODUCT THAT COSTS HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS FOR A SINGLE LOUSY PACK IN A CHEAPSKATE POVERTY BOX. IT'S NOT EVEN A GOOD LOOKING CARD! IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE EXACTO KNIFED JESSE OUT OF HIS QYPSY GUEEN CARD AND PLOPPED HIM ONTO SOME GEOMETRIC SHAPES AN AI GENERATED. IT'S ON SUPER THICK CARD STOCK TOO, THEY WASTED THAT GOOD CARDBOARD ON THIS MESS LOL. I GOT A FEW OF THESE IN A BOX ALREADY, MAYBE SOON I'LL HAVE ENOUGH TO COMPLETE A PAGE IN A FUTURE CHAOS BINDER

2021 OPTIC MIKE YASTRZEMSKI MYTHICAL

I LOVE THIS DUMB SET AND HAVE SINCE I FOUND THE RONALD ACUÑA VERSION AND INSTA-BOUGHT IT. THE GENERIC MYSTICAL 'WE WANTED A TAROT CARD MOTIF BUT TOPPS BEAT US TO IT' DESIGN APPEALS TO ME GREATLY. MOONS, ARROWS AND SPIROGRAPH DESIGNS, JUST WONDERFUL. MIKE YASTRZEMSKI CARDS ARE FUN TOO

QUARTER BOX CRAP - BUCK 6

 REALIZING NOW JUST HOW MUCH OF THIS QUARTER BOX BINGE IS OF SHINY SUPERSTAR PARALLELS. A GOOD QUARTER (heh) OF THE CARDS SO FAR AND THERE'S A BUNCH MORE TO COME. THREE MORE JUST IN THIS POST! DON'T WORRY I THROW Y'ALL A KNUCKLEBALL AT THE END

2022 DONRUSS IVAN RODRIGUEZ PINK PARALLEL

SO MANY PARALLELS. THE PHOTO LOOKS A BIT ORANGE BUT I ASSURE YOU THAT THIS CARD IS EXTREMELY PINK IN PERSON. I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS ABOUT PARALLELS OR 1988 DONRUSS OR EVEN THE COLOR PINK, THIS CARD LOOKS GREAT. LOVE FINDING NEW PUDGE CARDS

2022 PRIZM MOOKIE BETTS PRIZM

LOVE MOOKIE ALTHOUGH THE TEAMS HE PLAYED FOR AREN'T MY FAVORITE. THE PRIZMS LOOK REALLY NICE AND I'M GLAD MY PHOTOS OF THEM ARE LOOKING GOOD TODAY FOR SOME REASON. EVERY ONE LOOKS LIKE A RAVE'S GOING ON. THE BACK OF THE CARD SAYS TIER II, NO CLUE WHAT THAT'S SUPPOSED TO MEAN. REMINDS ME OF THOSE ODDBALL TIERED SETS IN THE 90S LIKE FINEST AND FLAIR SHOWCASE

2022 DONRUSS JOHNNY BENCH ORANGE PARALLEL

MOARER LEGENDS CARDS FROM PANINI, THEY SHOULD JUST DO THIS FULL TIME NOW. MAKING A HYPOTHESIS THAT PANINI DOES GOOD CATCHER CARDS. BETWEEN THIS, THE PUDGE AND THAT COCHRANE CARD FROM A FEW POSTS AGO, ALL THE LOGOLESS CATCHERS LOOK GREAT. GOING TO KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR PANINI CATCHER CARDS NOW TO TEST THIS. BENCH WOULD LOOK EVEN BETTER WITHOUT THE ORANGE BORDERS I THINK BUT I'LL TAKE A SHINY

2022 TOPPS JAZZ CHISHOLM FLASHIEST FEET INSERT

THIS IS A WILD ONE. THE BORDERS ARE WILD, THE TEXT IS WILD, THE CONCEPT IS WILD. I WAS SHOCKED TO SEE THIS WAS NOT AN OPENING DAY INSERT. HOW DID THIS MAKE FLAGSHIP? I LIKE JAZZ, HE'S ONE OF THE VERY FEW MARLINS PLAYERS THAT DO NOT ANNOY ME. I HAVE HARDLY ANY OF HIS CARDS SO NICE TO FIND SUCH A UNIQUE ONE. I NEED TO GO SEE IF RONALD HAS ONE OF THESE CARDS, SURELY THEY PUT HIM IN THIS SET

QUARTER BOX CRAP - BUCK 5

 HOKEY SMOKES, THIS BATCH ACTUALLY HAS A CARD I NEED FOR A COLLECTION. HOW'D THAT HAPPEN

2022 TOPPS JASON HEYWARD BLUE PARALLEL

YESSSSS JASON HEYWARD CARD I DON'T HAVE. I GET TO ADD A NEW ONE TO TCDB AND SLOWLY CLAW MY WAY UP THE RANKINGS. I NEED TO ADD A FEW MORE PLAYER COLLECTIONS ON THERE SO I HAVE MORE CHANCES TO GET A CHEAP THRILL FROM MAKING NUMBER GO UP WHILE HUNTING THROUGH JUNK BOXES. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT FLAVOR OF PARALLEL THIS IS. THERE'S NO SERIAL NUMBER AND I'M GUESSING IT'S FROM SOME KIND OF RETAIL PRODUCT. MAYBE WAL-MART? I'LL FIND OUT FOR SURE WHEN I GET AROUND TO LOGGING IT I GUESS

2021 CHRONICLES CRUSADE JUAN SOTO

YET ANOTHER JUAN SOTO CHRONICLES CARD FROM THE QUARTER BOX. I'M HAPPY TO FIND CRUSADE CARDS OF RANDOM ROOKIES WHO HAVE ALREADY BEEN OPTIONED OUT TO THE MINORS, LET ALONE SOTO. I WONDER HOW MANY MORE I NEED TO GET THE FULL JUAN SOTO COLLECTION FROM 2021 CHRONICLES. I PROBABLY HAVE ALL THE REALLY GOOD ONES NOW AT LEAST. 

2021 CHROME 1952 TOPPS REHASH THINGY EDDIE MATHEWS

NOT PASSING UP ON A CHEAP EDDIE MATHEWS CARD. I AM SICK OF THE 1952 DESIGN BUT IT LOOKS GOOD. I LIKE THE BLOCK M LOGO TALTHOUGH THE TM IS ANNOYING. THE CARD NUMBER ON THIS THING IS 654!! HOW BIG IS THIS DAMN THING?  ARE THEY CARRYING OVER THE NUMBERING FROM PREVIOUS 52 REHASH SETS LIKE THEY DID WITH TURKEY RED? THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO NEED FOR A CHROME SET TO PUSH SEVEN HUNDRED CARDS, NO WONDER THESE THINGS ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE NOW. THAT'S TOO MANY CARDS. THERE ARE TOO MANY CARDS

2021 TOPPS FIRE BRYCE HARPER  FIRED UP

THIS CARD IS UGLY BUT I WILL TAKE ALL THE BRYCE HARPER INSERTS PLEASE. THERE'S LIKE, SO MANY PROBLEMS WITH THIS CARD FROM THE TEXT TO THE GHOST LEGS TO THE YELLOW. SO MUCH YELLOW. IT'S SO INCREDIBLY UGLY IT SORT OF WORKS. THE YELLOW TURNS GOLD IF YOU LOOK AT IT THE RIGHT WAY AND BRYCE'S EXPRESSION SAYS "DAMN THIS CARD IS UGLY BUT IT'S KINDA COOL THO" THE ARTIST'S LOGO IS ON THE BACK BUT I'M NOT MENTIONING THEM BECAUSE I DON'T NEED SOME INFLUENCER FINDING THIS POST AND HASSLING ME ABOUT CALLING THE UGLY CARD UGLY. I BOUGHT IT DIDN'T I, LEAVE ME ALONE

QUARTER BOX CRAP - BUCK 4

SHINIES ABOUND IN THIS BATCH OF QUARTER CARDS. I SEE A BOX OF CARDS AND IMMEDIATELY TURN INTO A MAGPIE

2011 OPENING DAY CC SABATHIA OPENING DAY STARS

OPENING DAY INSERTS ARE AWESOME, JUST A SHAME ABOUT THE BASE CARDS. 3-D CARDS RULE AND CC JIGGLES ABOUT ON THIS ONE. MOST OF MY INSERT CARDS AREN'T REALLY PROPERLY SORTED AND OPENING DAY IS ESPECIALLY DISHEVELED. I NEED TO FIX THAT IF I'M SERIOUS ABOUT THIS TYPE CARD COLLECTING THING

2021 MOSAIC BERT BLYLEVEN VINTAGE

I FOUND THIS EXACT CARD IN A DOLLAR BOX RECENTLY AND WAS SORELY TEMPTED EVEN THOUGH I'M A LITTLE MEH ABOUT OL BERT. I WAS NOT PASSING IT UP FOR A QUARTER. THE LITTLE STAINED GLASS SPARKLEYS LOOK GREAT IN PERSON AND I BET IT REALLY POPS ON A PRIZMFRACTOR CARD

2021 CHROME RANDY JOHNSON PLATINUM PLAYERS

I'VE BEEN WANTING ONE OF THESE DIE CUT INSERTS SINCE I SAW IT ON THE SALE SHEET. I'M WONDERING IF THIS IS ACTUALLY FROM THAT CHROME UPDATE RETAIL SET, SINCE THAT ONE SEEMS TO HAVE ALL REFRACTOR INSERTS. ALSO WONDERING IF THE HOBBY HATES RANDY JOHNSON BECAUSE I KEEP FINDING GREAT LOOKING CARDS OF HIM SUPER CHEAP

2022 MOSAIC TREA TURNER PRIZM

AS A BRAVES FAN, TREA TURNER HAS BEEN AN ENORMOUS PAIN IN MY ASS FOR YEARS AS HE OWNED US IN WASHINGTON AND AGAIN IN LOS ANGELES AND NOW HE'S ON THE DAMN PHILLIES. SUPERSTAR SHINIES ARE ALWAYS WELCOME AND I CAN ALSO THROW HIM INTO A PACKAGE FOR A DODGER FAN NEXT TIME HE GOES 4 FOR 5 WITH 6 RBI AGAINST THE BRAVES

QUARTER BOX CRAP - BUCK #3

 SQUANDERING HARD EARNED MONEY ON FRIVOLOTIES. WHEN THE WORLD ENDS AND I'M STARVING AND DYING AND FILLED WITH REGRETS I'LL WANT THOSE THREE DOLLARS BACK TO SPEND ON BLOOD. BUT RIGHT NOW I HAVE SOME COOL CARDS TO SHUFFLE THROUGH FOR A LITTLE BIT BEFORE SHOVING THEM INTO A BOX

2022 QYPSY GUEEN ALEX KIRILLOFF GQ GEMS

I HAVE BEEN VERY CRITICAL OF GQ SINCE THEIR SECOND SET DITCHED THE TOBACCO CARD DESIGN AND BRANDED THEMSELVES AS THE UGLIEST CARD™ BUT I GOTTA ADMIT I LOVE THEIR GOOFY INSERT SETS. THIS ONE IS AN ODDBALL SIZE, HAS SHINY HOLOFOIL, ZODIAC SYMBOLS AND A MAGICAL CRYSTAL. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TRACK ONE DOWN ONLINE SINCE LAST YEAR AND THEY KEEP SLIPPING THROUGH MY FINGERS BUT THIS ONE OF A GUY ON THE TWINS I'VE NEVER HEARD OF FINALLY CAME HOME TO ME

2021 MOSAIC JIM THOME RED & BLUE PRIZM SQUARES PATTERN THINGY

I'M PRETTY SURE WHATEVER FLAVOR OF PRIZM PARALLEL THIS IS CAN BE FOUND AS A BONUS IN RETAIL RACK PACKS WHICH EXPLAINS WHY THEY'RE PRETTY EASY TO FIND IN JUNK BOXES. THERE WERE SEVERAL IN THIS PARTICULAR JUNK BOX AND THIS AIN'T THE LAST ONE YOU'LL SEE. HALL OF FAMERS ON WACKY SHINY CARDS AREN'T SOMETHING I WILL PASS ON BY WHEN DIGGING THROUGH BOXES. I DO ADMIT I WAS VERY CONFUSED WHEN I SAW CLEVELAND ON THIS CARD AS I INITIALLY THOUGHT THIS WAS THE TWINS OR MAYBE WHITE SOX AFTER THE PANINIFICATION OF HIS UNIFORM

2021 DIAMOND KINGS MICKEY COCHRANE AFICIONADO

NOT THE AFICIONADO I ACTUALLY COLLECT, BUT A NICE FIND NONETHELESS. I LOVE THE PAINTING MOTIF ON THE NEW DIAMOND KINGS CARDS AND THIS ONE OF A GUY WHO PLAYED BEFORE LOGOS WERE PLASTERED EVERYWHERE LOOKS REALLY DAMN GOOD. MICKEY IS AN ALL TIME GREAT CATCHER AS WELL EVEN THOUGH HE'S BEEN OVERSHADOWED BY MORE RECENT PLAYERS. A GOOD EXAMPLE OF A CARD I WOULD NEVER EVER THINK TO GO OUT AND FIND BUT AM SUPER HAPPY ONE FELL INTO MY LAP

2022 TOPPS JOSE ALTUVE 1987 35TH ANNIVERSARY ALL-STAR

MORE ALTUVE, AND MORE 1987 TOPPS. THE NON-SHINY FLAGSHIP VERSION OF THE 87 REHASH CARDS LOOK WAY WORSE THAN THE REFRACTORS BUT SINCE THIS ONE IS AN ALL-STAR DESIGN I'LL OVERLOOK IT. THIS IS ANOTHER CARD I'M CONFUSED ABOUT AS I'M NOT CERTAIN IF THE ALL-STARS ARE ITS OWN INSERT SET OR PART OF THE 35TH ANNIVERSARY SET. THE BASE SET IS ALREADY MASSIVE, TO TACK ON ALL-STARS IS JUST GETTING SILLY. IS ALTUVE THO AND I WILL NOT LEAVE JOSE TO LANGUISH IN A JUNK BOX

QUARTER BOX CRAP - BUCK #2

 WASTING MOAR MONEY ON COOL FUN SHIT OUT OF THE QUARTER BOX. HERE'S ANOTHER DOLLAR DOWN THE DRAIN. FLUSHED RIGHT DOWN THE TOILET. I COULD HAVE BOUGHT FOOD WITH THAT DOLLAR BUT I DIDN'T

2022 ARCHIVES YOGI BERRA

I REALLY FEEL LIKE I ALREADY HAVE THIS CARD EVEN THOUGH IT'S IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE I HAVE NO ARCHIVES FROM LAST YEAR THAT I KNOW ABOUT. WELL, EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE. I KNOW THIS FUCKIN PHOTO IS ON OTHER CARDS THOUGH AND MAYBE EVEN ON THIS DESIGN. CHEAP YOGI IS AN INSTA-BUY FOR ME, DOUBLES OR NO

2021 CHRONICLES OBSIDIAN CLAYTON KERSHAW

IF YOU READ MY CHRONICLES POSTS YOU KNOW I FRIGGIN LOVE THIS OBSIDIAN SET TO THE POINT WHERE I STUPIDLY WANT TO BUILD THE WHOLE THING. FINDING A KERSHAW ISN'T DOING ANYTHING TO DISSUADE ME FROM THE NOTION. JUST LOOK AT IT, GREAT GOOGELY MOOGELY IT'S LIKE RAINBOWS DANCING IN MY BRAIN

2021 TOPPS FIRE JOSE ALTUVE

I'VE NEVER LIKED FIRE, THEN I SEE A RANDOM CARD HERE AND THERE AND DAMN, THEY'RE KINDA NICE FOR HOW UGLY THEY ARE. THIS ONE IS ON HOLOFOIL AND IT REALLY MAKES THE BLUE AND RED AND ORANGE POP. I HAVE NO IDEA IF THIS IS JUST THE BASE CARD OR IF IT'S A PARALLEL OF SOME SORT BUT I DON'T REALLY CARE, IT'S A PRETTY JOSE ALTUVE CARD AND YOU ALREADY KNOW I CAN'T PASS THOSE UP

2022 CHROME LUIS ROBERT 1987 35TH ANNIVERSARY

ANOTHER CARD WHERE I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S AN ACTUAL REFRACTOR PARALLEL OR IF THEY ALL JUST LOOK LIKE THAT. WHO CARES, MOAR SHINIES PLZ. LUIS ROBERT IS HITTING THE ABSOLUTE SHIT OUT OF THE BALL BUT NO ONE CARES BECAUSE THE WHITE SOX SUCK AND THE WHALES GOT PROSPECT FATIGUE ON HIM TWO YEARS AGO. I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE ANY OTHER ROBERT CARDS SO A SHINY FOR A QUARTER IS FANTASTIC

A BUCK'S WORTH OF QUARTER BOX CARDS

 RIGHT AFTER POSTING THAT IT'S HARD TO FIND QUARTER BOXES I REMEMBERED ABOUT THE PLACE THAT HAS A QUARTER BOX AND RAIDED IT. I'VE GOT WORD CONSTIPATION WRITING MY COMC POSTS AND MY MULTIPLE 50-IMAGE POSTS ARE A BOONDOGGLE SO LET'S SLIP IN A FEW JUNKBOX SHITPOSTS INTO THE DRAFT QUEUE TO KEEP THE CONTENT COMING. LOL JUST KIDDING, THERE'S NO CONTENT TO BE FOUND HERE. I'M STILL POSTING THE JUNK THO - I HAD VERY LITTLE TIME TO SCROUNGE FOR GEMS AND THE PICKS WERE BASED ON INSTANT VIBES. HERE THEY ARE MORE OR LESS IN THE ORDER I PICKED THEM OUT OF THE BOX

1988 TOPPS ERIC DAVIS GLOSSY ALL-STAR

EVERY OTHER CARD IN THE BUNCH WAS CHOSEN WITH THE CRITERIA "YEP, THIS LOOKS COOL" BUT THIS CARD HAD TO BE CHECKED OFF ON MY WANTLIST. THERE WAS A BIG PILE OF THESE GLOSSY RACK PACK ALL-STARS IN THE BOX AND I AM DETERMINED TO COMPLETE THE ENTIRE 1984-1991 RUN OF THIS INSERT BEFORE I DIE. THE FINAL TWENTY (12 OF WHICH ARE FROM 1991) HAVE BEEN REMARKABLY ELUSIVE DESPITE FINDING AT LEAST 4-5 OF THEM IN EVERY JUNK BOX.  ERIC DAVIS IS AN EXCELLENT ONE TO FIND

2021 ELITE EXTRA EDITION SPENCER SCHWELLENBACH

THE BRAVES' SECOND ROUND PICK IN 2021, THE ONLY REASON THIS CAUGHT MY EYE IS BECAUSE HE WAS THE BRAVES' REPRESENTATIVE IN THE FUTURES GAME THIS YEAR. I STILL HAD TO TRIPLE CHECK FOR THE ATLANTA ON THE CARD. AS AN ENJOYER OF BRAVES CARDS, I LIKE SNAGGING PRE-ROOKIE CARDS WHEN I CAN. IT PREVENTS STUFF LIKE NOT GETTING A SPENCER STRIDER CARD UNTIL OVER A YEAR AFTER HIS DEBUT. AND WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH SPENCERS, THEY'RE EVERYWHERE ALL OF A SUDDEN

2022 TOPPS RAISEL IGLESIAS SOME KIND OF PARALLEL

SPEAKING OF BRAVES, I HAVE NO CARDS OF THEIR CLOSER UNLESS ONE OF 'EM IS HIDING IN A TOPPS FLAGSHIP SET. THIS HERE IS THE BEST USE OF A PARALLEL CARD: TO THROW IT IN THE TEAM COLLECTION. RAISEL'S DOING PRETTY WELL THIS YEAR ALTHOUGH THE SAVE OPPORTUNITIES ARE HARD TO COME BY WHEN THE OFFENSE BLASTS 6 HOMERS A GAME AND BLOWS EVERYONE OUT

2022 DONRUSS JUAN SOTO ORANGE (?) SHINY PARALLEL THING

THIS IS THE SAME QUARTER BOX I GOT ALL THOSE CHRONICLES CARDS FROM AND I'M STILL ASTONISHED THAT I'M FINDING JUAN SOTO CARDS THIS CHEAP. I GET THAT INTEREST IN JUAN IS DWINDLING NOW THAT HE'S A PADRE BUT HE'S STILL HITTING THE CRAP OUT OF THE BALL AND THAT RING IS NEVER GOING AWAY. I DON'T EXACTLY KNOW WHAT THE HECK THIS PARALLEL IS BUT IT'S SHINY SO WHY THE HELL NOT

Dime Box Kryptonite #1 - Retro Crap

There are some things in dime boxes that I just can't pass up. That's not the problem. I find lots of good stuff in dime boxes. The problem is when I can't pass up the things in dime boxes that I simply don't need. Here are a few of those things. The first culprit: Retro cards.

Here's a 2006 mini card of Steven Drew. I really like the Bowman-sized minis but I'll never have the patience to track 'em all down. This was kind of an ugly set through. Well, 1949 Bowman is kind of an ugly set in retrospect. Nice for 1949, bleaargh in 2006. So will Stephen have his big season in 2011 or will he start wandering around the league like his big brother?

Topps '52 Rookies. Between this mess and the Heritage High fiasco Topps should have just kept doing Bowman Heritage. We never did get that 1953 Bowman Heritage set. Unless you count 1989 Bowman, which I do not. Here's an insert of Uggs and The Loafer from the first set. Was that 2006? 2007? Hell, I don't know. I already have this card but it had Uggla on it, so I grabbed it anyway. Halfway through the card show I realized I have no further interest in Dan Uggla cards where he is not in a Brave uniform. I got at least a month or two to wait on those.

Here's the second year Topps '52 Rookies Dynamic Duo insert. Why the hell wasn't this the Topps '53 Rookies set??!!? Because 1953 Topps is a beautiful set and Topps is too lazy and cheap to try to live up to that. The crappy, out of focus, garish colors, team logos drawn by kindergartners, design by Sy Berger with the help of safety scissors and a pack of construction paper Topps can handle. '53 they aren't worthy of any more. Oh, they handled it pretty well in the late '90s and early Aughts with Gallery but those days are gone. Nowadays when they get quality artists to do portraits they botch it utterly. Sorry, am I ranting again? Nevermind. Here's Tulo and No-No on a Duo.

Maybe I should have clarified I'm helpless when finding retro inserts in a dime box. The base cards I simply assume I have already unless I have a list at the ready. Here's another insert, no base here. This one's got MVP Hambone on it. Does anyone in the universe besides me call Josh Hamilton Hambone? Imma keep doing it. I can't help it, my mind is broken.

Ok, occasionally I'll pick up a base card. How do you pass up a rookie card of Markakis? Well, a rookie card with the O-Fishal MLB logo on it. There's cards of Marky Mark from 2003 out there. Now, without looking, I don't have a clue if this is from the first or second set. I don't know if it's a common or a short print. But it's a friggin Markakakakas rookie for a DIME. Them Orioles are going to sneak up on the Yanquis and the Redd Soxx one of these years! That'll be the year the Blue Jays storm to the Series, but still. It'll happen one of these centuries.