FESTIVE HALLOWEEN CRAP

 HAPPY HALLOWEEN! OCTOBER IS OVER AND THAT MEANS IT'S TIME FOR SPOOKY CHRISTMAS WITH MONSTERS AND CANDY AND LOW BUDGET MOVIES WITH FAKE BLOOD OOZING EVERYWHERE. OH HOW I LOVE THIS SCARY HOLIDAY SEASON. THIS SEASON DOES NOT LOVE ME HOWEVER AS I HAVE HAD MAYBE MY LOUSIEST MONTH SINCE MARCH 2009. HOO BOY HAVE THE TERRIBLE THINGS JUST KEEPED ON HAPPENING THIS MONTH. I'VE BEEN DEALING WITH THE TERRIBLE THINGS FOR THE PAST WEEK INCLUDING YESTERDAY AKA MY DAY OFF AKA THE DAY I USUALLY GET TO RELAX AND WRITE UP SOME BLOG POSTS. SO UH, THIS MIGHT BE THE LAST BLOG POST FOR A FEW DAYS

WHILE I WAS IN THE PROCESS OF CLEANING UP OCTOBER'S MESS YESTERDAY I DECIDED TO HOP INTO TARGET TO GET MYSELF A LITTLE TREAT. THE MAIN REASON I WAS IN TARGET IS I HAD TO STOP SOMEWHERE TO PEE BECAUSE I HAD BEEN DRIVING FOR ALMOST TWO HOURS, BUT THE TREAT BIT WAS WHY I CHOSE TARGET. AS YOU ALL KNOW TARGET HAS A TRADING CARD AISLE! THIS TARGET'S CARD AISLE WAS WAY IN THE BACK BEHIND THE TOYS BECAUSE THEY MOVED IT BACK THERE TO CONFUSE THE RABID PACKS OF VERMINOUS FLIPPERS THAT INFESTED CARD AISLES IN 2020. I LOOKED AT THE CARDS AND SAW A 2023 FACTORY SET WITH A BONUS RELIC OR AUTOGRAPH CARD FOR SEVENTY BUCKS! I DIDN'T HAVE SEVENTY BUCKS. I SAW AN ALLEN & GINTER BLASTER FOR TWENTY FIVE BUCKS! I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE SPENDING THAT FOR 48 CARDS. I SAW A 2023 TOPPS UPDATE HANGER FOR TWELVE BUCKS! TOPPS DROPPED THE NUMBER OF CARDS TO 59 AND I JUST WASN'T FEELING IT. THERE WAS A PACK OF CHRONCLES! FOOTBALL. DRAFT PICKS. I LOOKED NEXT TO THE CARD AISLE WHERE ALL THE BLIND BAGS AND FUNKO POPS LIVE AND FOUND THIS:

A NECO SCI-FI AND HORROR BLIND BAG. OVER TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS WORTH OF TOYS AND COLLECTIBLES FOR ONLY $9.99! PACKED WITH SCARY COLLECTIBLES! AND BY SCARY COLLECTIBLES THEY MEAN CRAP THAT DIDN'T SELL OR WERE GOING TO BE IN A LOOT CRATE BEFORE THEY WENT BANKRUPT. THERE ARE TONS OF VIDEOS ONLINE WITH PEOPLE OPENING THESE BLIND BAGS AND IT SEEMS THEY ARE USUALLY FILLED WITH TWO TO FOUR TCHOTCHKES FOR YOUR TEN BUCKS. THIS PARTICULAR BAG FELT PRETTY HEFTY AND I WEIGHED IT AGAINST A SKINNY HANGER OF UPDATE. HONESTLY IF IT WAS SEPTEMBER OR NOVEMBER, I PROBABLY WOULD'VE GONE WITH UPDATE. BUT NO! IT WAS SPOOKY CHRISTMAS EVE! MY TREAT WOULD BE A HALLOWEEN TREAT. ALSO I COULD GET THIS AND A DRINK FOR THE PRICE OF A HANGER. I DREAM OF SOME CLASSIC MONSTERS OR MAYBE SOME 80S HORROR ICONS. LET'S SEE WHAT SCARY DELIGHTS AWAIT US!

THIS... IS NOT SCARY. THIS IS A MATCHBOX CAR WITH A BLADE RUNNER LICENSE. IT LOOKS VERY PLASTIC COMPARED TO ACTUAL MATCHBOX CARS AND I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE SO I DON'T KNOW HOW ACCURATE THE THREE WHEELER CAR IS. IT'S FINE AS A START BUT TOY CARS AREN'T MY THING AND THIS SEEMS LIKE IT IS FIRMLY IN THE 'COLLECTIBLE' CATEGORY. IF YOU WANT A CAR TO PLAY WITH, TARGET HAS A TON OF BETTER ONES FOR $1.19 EACH. I DON'T KNOW WHY I CALL THEM MATCHBOX CARS INSTEAD OF HOT WHEELS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE ON THE PLANET

THE BACK HAS A PICTURE OF THE TOY AND A FILM SUMMARY THAT WOULD NORMALLY BE SEEN ON THE BACK OF AN EIGHT FILMS IN ONE DVD BOX SET YOU FIND IN THE FIVE DOLLAR BIN AT WAL-MART. I'M SURE SOMEONE OUT THERE IS LOSING THEIR MINDS AT HOW COOL THIS IS BUT I'M PRETTY MEH ON THIS ONE, SORRY! THE NEXT THING IS WAY BETTER

MAD BALLS! HELL YEAH! I HAD ONE WHEN I WAS A KID. I ASKED FOR THE BASEBALL DUDE AND I GOT THE ONE WITH THE EYEBALL DRIPPING OUT THAT LEGIT SCARED ME AND MADE ME UPSET INSTEAD. WONDERFUL CHILDHOOD MEMORIES! I REMEMBER WHEN THESE REBOOTED VERSIONS WERE FIRST ANNOUNCED I WAS SUPER EXCITED AND THEN WHEN I ACTUALLY SAW ONE IN A STORE I DECIDED I LIKED MY MONEY A LITTLE BETTER. NOW, YEARS LATER MY DREAM IS FINALLY REALIZED THROUGH THE MAGIC OF RANDOM CRAP

THE BACK IS KINDA FUNNY IN ITS INSISTANCE THAT THIS IS NOT A TOY. FOR AGES 15 AND UP ONLY.  RARE COLLECTIBLE! DO NOT PLAY. BULLSHIT. IT'S A BALL, I'M ABSOLUTELY GOING TO PLAY WITH IT. THE LAYWERS PROBABLY HAD THEM PUT THIS ON THERE DUE TO IT BEING MADE WITH LEAD PAINT AND ASBESTOS OR SOMETHING. JUST KIDDING! I THINK. THEY'RE PROBABLY JUST MADE FROM THE SOULS OF SAD ORPHANS AND OTHER SUCH INNOCUOUS SUBSTANCES. NO ONE WANTS THEIR KID TO TAKE A HEALTHY BITE OF ORPHAN SOUL WHEN THEY GET INTO THE SHELF OF RARE COLLECTIBLES. THERE'S A CHECKLIST OF ALL THE MAD BALLS TO COLLECT ON THE BACK AND I THINK THEY ARE ALL ORIGINAL 80S DESIGNS:

SLOBULUS - THAT DUDE WITH THE DRIPPY EYEBALL THAT GROSSED ME OUT SO MUCH WHEN I WAS A KID. SERIOUSLY, DANGLING EYEBALLS ARE ONE OF THE THINGS THAT SQUICK ME OUT THE MOST AND THAT'S THE MAD BALL MY FAMILY PICKS OUT FOR CHRISTMAS. THIS WOULD BE THE FUNNIEST ONE FOR ME TO GET

OCULUS ORBUS - IT'S... JUST AN EYEBALL. I MEAN, EYEBALLS ARE SCARY, I JUST WENT OFF ON HOW ONE POPPING OUT A PLASTIC MONSTER'S HEAD RUINED MY CHILDHOOD BUT IT'S JUST AN EYEBALL

SCREAMIN' MEEMIE - THE OBJECT OF MY YOUNG HEART'S DESIRE. NOWADAYS IT JUST LOOKS GOOFY BUT I WAS ALWAYS MORE OF A COMEDY KID THAN A MONSTER KID IF WE'RE BEING HONEST ABOUT IT. JUST LIKE MY PARENTS, I NEVER SAW THIS ONE IN THE SHOPS. BASEBALL MUST BE A LOT MORE POPULAR THAN WE KNOW

HORN HEAD - THIS WAS NOT AT ALL ON MY RADAR AS A KID BUT LOOKING AT IT NOW IT'S KINDA BADASS. HELL YEAH EVIL CYCLOPS BALL. I WANT THIS ONE MORE THAN SCREAMIN' MEEMIE

DUST BRAIN - MUMMIES WERE NEVER MY FAVORITE MONSTER AND THIS ONE LOOKS A LITTLE WEAK. NOT A TOP-TIER MAD BALL IN MY OPINION. APOLOGIES IF THIS WAS YOUR GREATEST CHILDHOOD TREASURE

SKULL FACE - SKULL FACE IS DEFINITELY TOP-TIER THOUGH. DEM RED EYES PEEPING OUT AT YOU AND THE LITTLE BIT OF BRAIN LEAKING OUT THE BACK IS GNARLY. EXTREMELY SINISTER, ESPECIALLY WITH THAT GRIN. THIS IS ANOTHER ONE I WOULDN'T MIND GETTING

LOCK LIPS - I REMEMBER THIS ONE FREAKING ME OUT A BIT AS WELL WHEN I WAS A KID. I DIDN'T LIKE THE METAL PLATES ATTACHED TO THIS DUDE'S FACE. IT JUST SEEMED KINDA AWFUL. ALSO AN ODD PUN FOR A KIDS' TOY, WHAT WERE THOSE AMERICAN GREETINGS GUYS THINKING

FREAKY FULLBACK - THEY NEEDED TO HAMMER HOME THAT THESE WERE TOYS FOR BOYS SO THEY INCLUDED BOTH SPORTS. I WAS NEVER SUPER INTERESTED IN THIS ONE. PLUS: MOAR EYE TRAUMA

SWINE SUCKER - THE ANIMAL KINGDOM IS REPRESENTED BY THIS PIGGY FELLOW. IT'S COOL LOOKING BUT I WOULD PREFER IT WITHOUT ALL THE SNOT. 80'S GROSS-OUT HUMOR FOR KIDS DEMANDS SNOTS THOUGH SO I GUESS IT HAD TO GO SOMEWHERE

ALL RIGHTY! LET'S SEE WHO I GOT!

LOCK LIPS! THIS LITTLE DUDE IS REALLY DETAILED AND ISN'T AS UNNERVING AS I THOUGHT SINCE IT'S EXTREMELY OBVIOUS THAT HE'S A FRANKENSTEIN OF SOME SORT. IT'S OK FOR FRANKENSTEINS TO HAVE BOLTS AND OTHER ASSORTED HARDWARE ON THEIR HEADS. I'M SUPER HAPPY WITH THIS AND THE BLINDBAG WOULD BE WORTH IT TO ME IF IT WAS THE ONLY THING IN IT. WHICH IS A GOOD THING BECAUSE...

ACTUAL TRASH. THIS IS A CHEAP PLASTIC FIVE NIGHT'S AT FREDDY'S TOP HAT ACCESSORY FOR I ASSUME A LARGE PLUSH FREDDY FAZBEAR THAT GOT SQUASHED IN THE BOTTOM OF THE BAG AND IS NOW CRACKED IN LIKE FIVE PLACES. OR MAYBE YOU CAN WEAR THE HAT YOURSELF? YOU'D LOOK PRETTY DUMB WEARING THIS TINY HAT UNLESS YOU WERE A VERY SMALL CHILD WHICH, COME TO THINK OF IT, IS REALLY THE TARGET AUDIENCE FOR FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S. IT IS DEFINITELY HORROR THOUGH BUT NECA SHOULD HAVE SENT THIS TO A DOLLAR TREE INSTEAD OF LITERALLY BREAKING IT TO FIT INSIDE A BLIND BAG. THIS ALMOST WENT STRAIGHT INTO THE GARBAGE BEFORE I REALIZED

FANCY LOCK LIPS

AWW MAN, DOESN'T HE LOOK CLASSY! I COULD SEE HIM SINGING PUTTIN' ON THE RITZ IF HE COULD JUST OPEN HIS MOUTH. LOOKING AT VIDEOS OF OTHER BLIND BAG RIPS THERE ARE A FEW COOL THINGS THAT CAN BE FOUND IN THEM LIKE A LEATHERFACE PLUSHIE, A GODZILLA CORD GRABBER AND AN EVIL DEAD MINI DISPLAY. BUT THERE IS A LOTTA CRAP TOO AS YOU CAN SEE HERE. I DUNNO ABOUT A TWENTY FIVE DOLLAR VALUE BUT I CERTAINLY GOT MY TEN BUCKS' WORTH AND AM VERY HAPPY WITH MY DISGUSTING LITTLE MAD BALL FRIEND. HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE! MAY YOU ALL FIND A FRIEND TODAY!

A FrankenSet for Halloween

The Allen & Ginter mini card FrankenSet was completed just in time for Halloween. Cards 1-350, plus 10 honorable mentions to fill out the last page. Enjoy.

1-15

16-30

31-45

46-60

61-75

76-90

91-105

106-120

121-135

136-150

151-165

166-180

181-195

196-210

211-225

226-240

241-255

256-270

271-285

286-300

301-315

316-330

331-345

346-350 w/ 10 honorable mentions

Heeeeeeeere's Twilight!

Or there's this if you prefer crazy Fluttershy...

I feel like this every morning

FRANKENSTEIN NEED COFFEE, DAMMIT

I picked up a few of these You'll Die Laughing cards cheap at the card show and this is the perfect time to show them off. This is the 1973 set, not the 1959 set. Here's galleries to both sets: 1959, 1973.

The backs still have awesome Jack Davis art on them though!

And TERRIBLE TERRIBLE JOKES!

"How did the doctor treat the monster?"
"Carefully... very carefully."

I need to buy bigger paper

Or learn how to draw smaller. Or, better yet, learn how to fit everything into the space I want it to go in. You might have noticed the header has changed.

Yes, I know it's huge. It's only going to be up tonight. It's Halloween! Gotta celebrate! Plus the banner I wanted to put up isn't ready yet. So instead of working on that I took an hour or so to draw this because I am hyper efficient with my time. I screwed up with drawing it so the masterpiece above is actually two different drawings cobbled together using the magic of MSPaint. Here's part 1:

I drew Pipsqueak first, then Pinkie on a separate piece of paper when I realized she'd never fit, then did the lettering last because I suck at lettering. I also really, really suck at leaving enough space for text. I did that LAST and I still ran out of room. With over an inch of white space to the left of it. Guuuuuuuuh.

Here's Pinkie. I find Pinkie in a chicken suit to be the funniest thing ever. Don't pay any attention to the bottom right corner as I half assed the feather ruffle and gave Pinkie some serious thunder thighs. That'll happen after too much candy.

Here's a first draft of Pinkie. I got halfway through and realized I didn't like the face. I went ahead and finished it anyway just for the practice. Drawing that folded up arm a couple of times helped.

Here's the original screenshot I based it on. I got full body Pipsqueak and Pinkie's face from a couple other moments in the scene and mashed them all together. Then I mashed all that together in MSPaint. took a couple of hours total with the help of a couple of Yuenglings and some mixes from here.

There's LOTS more Halloween stuff scheduled for today, muahaha!

Trick or Treat - The Opening

It's All Hallow's Eve, so it's finally time to share the Trick or Treat package I received from Tribe Cards. I went trick or treating dressed like Little Alex from Clockwork Orange and I may have gotten a little rambunctious and might have accidentally rolled David's yard with a roll of toilet paper. Or maybe 10 rolls. No more than 24, certainly. They don't sell packages larger than that. Anyway, David took that good, clean fun in stride and sent me a Trick or Treat package anyway.

As you can see, I got the one with the quizzical witch. David has always sent me some good Braves stuff, so this should be fun to open. Here's the first card in the box:

1989 Score Sandy Alomar Jr. card. That's pretty cool, I'm a Score fan and I like Sandy. Good, solid catcher for a ton of years and not a jerk like his mock-chopping brother. Let's check out the next card.

1989 Score Alomar Jr. Hrm. Next?

Eight more Alomars. Heh, David tricked me back! Heh, that's all good. Some doubles to help fill out the box. Fun stuff! What's next?

1989 Upper Deck Sandy Alomar Jr Star Rookie. Five of 'em. Looks like we have a theme going on! Wait, what the-

AAAAH! He's Evil! Run away!

Oh man, what's going on here? Oh, well this isn't too bad. a peaceful scene with Sandy and his brother.

What what what?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

What is this?? What kind of package did David send me? 1990 Fleer?? C'mon man, it was just toilet paper! How was I to know it was about to rain?

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! No! Get away from me!!!

Don't give me that look! You're a monster!

Stop laughing at me!

STOP LAUGHING!!!!!!!

Oh thank God... Bruce Hurst! What in the world is up with Sandy? He's acting really strange! Bruce, why are you running Bruce?

OH GOD NO!!! BRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCE

Red! It's so red! Red like BLOOD. I've got to get out of here now!!!

This is horrible! Just Horrible! I can't believe this is happening to me!

No! Sandy, put down that ax! It was just a joke, I'm sorry!

JEFF! Oh thank goodness! Look, we gotta get out of here, Alomar's gone nuts! Completly mad, I say! He freaking ATE Bruce Hurst! Oh wait... what is THAT?

Wh- why is Sandy smiling like that? What can he be up to? And how did he become a Rated rookie in both 1989 and 1990... That's just weird- OH NO! JEFF LOOK OUT IT'S A TRAP!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FRENCHY!!!!!!!

Oh, not Frenchy! This is terrible! He'll never walk again! Not that he walked all that much before, but that's not the point. QUIT LAUGHING AT ME YOU PSYCHO! What more can you do to me?

NO! NOT ROBBIE! ANYTHING BUT ROBBIE!!!

Ugh, I can't take anymore... He's catching up to me, I'm not going to make it.... Oh LOOK!

Chipper to the rescue!

That's right sucka! Your days of evildoing are over! CHIPPER'S HERE!

BATTLE!!!

Hooray! We are the winners!

Thanks to Chipper Jones, once again the day (and the box) was saved! The Menace of Sandy Alomar Jr. will not bother us again. Time to kick back and watch It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown on TV in peace, knowing that the nightmare is over.

OR IS IT?????????

Final Tally of the Trick or Treat Box from Tribe Cards:

3 1989 Bowman Sandy Alomar #258
9 1989 Bowman Sandy Alomar Jr. #454
36 1989 Donruss Sandy Alomar Jr #28
10 1989 Donruss The Rookies Sandy Alomar Jr. #21
14 1990 Donruss Sandy Alomar Jr. #30
13 1989 Fleer Sandy Alomar Jr. #300
8 1989 Fleer Like Father - Like Sons Superstar Special #630
20 1990 Sandy Alomar Jr. #150
14 1989 Score Sandy Alomar Jr. #630
3 1989 Score Sandy Alomar Jr. Young Superstar Glossy #1
4 1990 Score Sandy Alomar Jr. #577
45 1989 Topps Sandy Alomar Jr. #648
6 1990 Topps Sandy Alomar Jr. #353
5 1989 Upper Deck Sandy Alomar Jr. #5
17 1990 Upper Deck Sandy Alomar Jr. #655

1989 Upper Deck Bruce Hurst #792
1991 Donruss Roberto Alomar Diamond King #12
1992 AAA Pre-Rookie Randy St. Claire
2008 Upper Deck First Edition Jeff Francoeur Green StarQuest #SQ-47
2008 Upper Deck X Chipper Jones #7

TOTAL SANDY ALOMAR JUNIOR CARDS:
207.

Now that's skeery! Happy Halloween, everbody!

If you want to see some real Halloween cards created by PunkRockPaint, go HERE and prepare to be amazed!