The Umpire Took my Baby Away

There was no way I could resist this one.

Spooked by the NBA referee gambling scandal, Major League Baseball asked the umpire's union if they could conduct financial background checks on the umps. The umpire's union said no. So obviously the proper response by MLB is to send out investigators to question the umpire's neighbors and ask them if the umps beat their wives, grew pot or belonged to the KKK.

I'm sorry, but I have to. I just do.

The Ramones - The KKK Umpires Took My Baby Away




The really terrible copy of this YouTube clip actually works well with the cheesy 80's video from The Ramones and is kind of endearing. The really terrible leadership in Major League Baseball is not endearing at all. Five more years, baby.

People Done Lost They Minds

Ya know that new Sport Kings retro set that's coming out? That really cool one with the autos and jerseys in every pack and such? Well, The Brill Report has some inside dope on the pack price. It's a wee bit on the high-end side. Like maybe FIVE HUNDRED FREAKING DOLLARS PER BLOODY PACK FOR SEVEN LOUSY CARDS high side. The thing ain't even licensed, they have to airbrush out all the logos or go to jail! Ok, maybe not jail, but anyone who charges 500 smackers for a pack of trading cards that isn't a) a 1952 Topps High Series pack b) an 86-87 Fleer Basketball pack c) a 1910 pack of Sweet Caporal cigarettes with WAGNER PITTSBURG peeking through the wrapper or d) a pack of 1988 O-Pee-Chee hand delivered by a 500 dollar hooker with a huge rack ought to go to worse than jail. Detroit, perhaps. Seriously folks, let's put this in perspective.

A quick search for "Sport Kings" among completed eBay auctions shows that for less than the price of one pack (that's 7 cards printed in 2007) you could have gotten:

An Original 1933 Sport Kings Ty Cobb graded PSA3

or

An Original 1933 Sport Kings Gene Sarazen graded PSA5

or

An Original 1933 Sport Kings Jack Dempsey graded PSA7 Near Mint.

or

An Original 1933 Sport Kings Max Baer and Joseph Lopchik and Howie Morenz and Ace Bailey and Carl Hubbell and Jack Dempsey and Bill Tilden (that's 7 cards printed in 1933)

And with all that you get some change back in the transaction. Still, I can see you're not convinced. "But Dayf..." you say, "Those cards are old, and not in mint condition, and these are brand new shiny packs with parallels and relics and autographs, oh my!" Ok then. One last whiff of reality for you.

Imagine you're this guy. You just bought 3 whole packs (21 cards!) of the most sought after super premiest, ultra dreamiest, pantsy creamiest high falootin top-end product on the market. Period. It's all yours. And there's only 4500 packs of this stuff in existence! You have .00067% of ALL the '07 Sport Kings cards IN THE WORLD in your hot little hands! However, for the same money or less you could have gotten a PSA6 Hank Aaron rookie card instead. Or a PSA8 Jim Brown rookie. Or perhaps a PSA5 Christy Mathewson T206 card. Or even a BCCG10 graded Michael Jordan rookie.

But if you really had your heart set on Sport Kings, then for just a little more than those three packs, you could have instead gotten an Original 1933 Sport Kings Babe Ruth. That's right, the Babe. Vintage. From 1933. Think about it.

Yet, I'll be willing to bet not one of those Sport Kings packs goes unsold. People done lost they minds.