BOUGHT ANOTHER PACK OF CHRONICLES AT TARGET LIKE A DUMBASS - PART 3

IT'S THE CHRONICLES PACK GRAND FINALE! NO GENERIC PANINI ANGLES. ALL SHINIES! AS A REMINDER, HERE ARE THE THREE QUESTIONS FOR EACH DESIGN:

1) HAVE I EVER HEARD OF THIS PRODUCT?
2) WHAT ORIGINAL SET IS THIS RIPPING OFF?
3) IS THIS DESIGN WORTH A DAMN OR NOT?

HERE WE GO, STARTING OFF HOT

CERTIFIED JULIO RODRIGUEZ RC

1) AWW YEAH SUPER SHINY CERTIFIED

2) THIS IS BASICALLY THE 2022 FOOTBALL CERTIFIED DESIGN AND IS WAY BUSIER THAN THE ORIGINAL EARLY 00S LEAF CERTIFIED SETS AND THOSE WERE NOT KNOWN FOR THEIR SUBTLETY

3) THERE'S NO WAY I CAN BE OBJECTIVE WHEN I'M BEING DAZZLED BY A HOLOFOIL J-ROD ROOKIE CARD, ASK ME AGAIN WHEN I PULL, SAY, JOSH LOWE OR SOMEBODY. I'M OVER THE MOON RIGHT NOW

AWW HELL YEAH! JULIO RODRIGUEZ ROOKIE CARD! PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT BOWMAN'S BEST STUFF, THAT SET WAS MADE UP FOR A MOVIE, IT'S TOTALLY FAKE AND NOT REAL. THAT 2023 BOWMAN HERITAGE HAS POTENTIAL THOUGH. I HAVE NO DELUSIONS THAT THIS WILL EVER BE JULIO'S PREFERRED ROOKIE CARD, OR EVEN IN THE TOP 20, BUT IT'S MY JULIO ROOKIE CARD AND I'M HAPPY TO HAVE IT, SUPER DINGED CORNER AND ALL

CONTENDERS OPTIC VIDAL BRUJAN PINK PULSAR PARALLEL RC

1)  CONTENDERS IS ORIGINALLY FROM PLAYOFF IN THE 90S AND STARTED UP WITH THE TICKET STUB MOTIF IN 1998. PANINI HAS ABSOLUTELY RUN WITH THIS TRADITION AND ADDED AN OPTIC VERSION

2) LIKE A LOT OF THESE SETS IT'S THE SAME DESIGN AS THE FOOTBALL AND BASKETBALL VERSIONS

3) THE TICKET STUB ELEMENT ON THESE CARDS ALWAYS MAKES THE DESIGNS A LITTLE AWKWARD BUT I'VE SEEN IT DONE WORSE THAN THIS

CHRONICLES CONTENDERS IS CONFUSING AS HELL EVEN FOR THIS MESSED UP SET. THERE'S A PAPER ROOKIE TICKETS VERSION THAT IS ALL ROOKIES AND A CONTENDERS OPTIC VERSION ON CHROMEY STOCK WITH A DIFFERENT CHECKLIST INCLUDING VETERANS, BUT THERE'S ALSO AN OPTIC PARALLEL TO THE ROOKIE TICKET VERSION, AND SINCE VIDAL BRUJAN IS CARD NUMBER EIGHT IN BOTH SETS (THE ONLY PLAYER WITH THE SAME NUMBER IN BOTH CARDS, OF COURSE) THE ONLY WAY I COULD FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HELL THIS WAS IS DUE TO THE OPTIC PARALLEL VERSION NOT HAVING THIS KIND OF PINK PULSAR PARALLEL. A HORRIBLE RUN-ON SENTENCE FOR A HORRIBLY COINFUSING SET. THIS IS A LOT OF CONFUSION OVER A GUY WHO DID NOT WIN THE SECOND BASE JOB IN SPRING TRAINING, BUT KNOWING HOW THE RAYS ORGANIZATION WORKS, HE MAY END UP BEING AN ALL-STAR BY NEXT YEAR

CRUSADE SHOHEI OHTANI

1) HELL YEAH CRUSADE, I LOVE THIS DAMN SET

2) IT LOOKS LIKE CRUSADE, I'M NOT GOOGLING THE VERSIONS FROM OTHER SPORTS TO CONFIRM ANYMORE

3) CROWNS AND FLEUR-DE-LIS AND A SHIELD WITH GRIFFINS ON IT THIS IS FANTASTIC

ALL SHOHEI OHTANI CARDS ARE GOOD SHOHEI OHTANI CARDS. THIS ONE HAS HIM PITCHING WHICH IS COOL BECAUSE I WAS ABLE TO PICK UP HIS PITCHING SELF IN MY FANTASY BASEBALL LEAGUE. I HAVE LOW-KEY BECOME AN ICHIRO HOARDER COLLECTOR BECAUSE ICHIRO CARDS INEXPLICABLY ARE IN A BUNCH OF DIME AND QUARTER BOXES. I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO HOARD SOME OHTANI CARDS AS WELL BUT I'M HAVING A HARD TIME FINDING THEM IN DOLLAR BOXES EVEN

SPECTRA LOGAN WEBB

1) I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS. ALTHOUGH THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE I ALREADY GOT ONE IN A PREVIOUS BATCH OF CHRONICLES CARDS, IT DEFINITELY DIDN'T STICK IN MY MIND

2) UGH, IT'S A HIGH END 800 BUCKS A BOX FOR 4 AUTOGRAPHS KINDA THING. OH WELL. KIND OF AN ODD CHOICE TO RIFF ON THE SPEED RACER CCG DESIGN FOR SUCH A SPENDY PRODUCT

3) THIS IS SORT OF THE OPPOSITE CASE FROM THE JULIO RODRIGUEZ CARD, I'D PROBABLY LIKE IT BETTER IF SOMEONE OTHER THAN LOGAN WEBB WAS ON IT. IT'S A NICE THICK CHROMEY CARD THOUGH AND I THINK IT MIGHT LOOK EVEN BETTER WITH A RED OR BLUE BACKGROUND INSTEAD OF THE ORANGE. SOMEONE SEND ME THE ACUÑA CARD SO I CAN DEFINITIVELY DETERMINE THIS FOR SCIENCE

NOTHING AGAINST LOGAN WEBB, HE'S A PRETTY GOOD PITCHER (ALTHOUGH HAVING A ROUGH TIME OF IT EARLY IN THE SEASON) AND SINCE THIS SUBSET IS ONE OF THE BLOATED 100-CARD ONES I COULD HAVE DONE WORSE. LIKE CHRONICLES THERE IS SOME FUCKERY AFOOT AND THERE ARE REALLY 162 CARDS IN THE SPECTRA SUBSET WITH 62 ROOKIE RELIC AUTOGRAPH CARDS TACKED ONTO IT. SO NO COLLECITNG THIS SET FOR ME, ALTHOUGH I DO ADMIT I COVET THE SPENCER STRIDER SHINY AUTOJERSEY

REVOLUTION WILLSON CONTRERAS

1) YEAAAAH PACIFIC CARD DESIGNS SNEAK IN WITH THE LAST CARD IN THE PACK

2) IT'S SHINY AND FOILY AND WAVY JUST LIKE EVERY AWESOME REVOLUTION CARD

3) THESE CARDS MAKE ME HAPPY, FINISHING OFF THE PACK ON A HIGH NOTE

THE REVOLUTION SUBSET IS THE OTHER 100-CARD BEHEMOTH IN THE PRODUCT ALTHOUGH THERE'S THANKFULLY NO GIMMICKS TO MAKE IT EVEN BIGGER UNLIKE CONTENDERS. I CAN'T COMPLAIN ABOUT HAVING SOME BIGGER SUBSETS THOUGH AS IT'S A CHANCE TO SNEAK IN SOME PLAYERS OTHER THAN THE TOP 20 VETS AND TOP 30 ROOKIES THAT ARE SEEMINGLY IN EVERY SUBSET. WILLSON IS ONLY IN THIS AND SPECTRA SO MANAGING TO GET EVEN ONE OF THEM IS A MINOR MIRACLE. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU WOULD DO IF YOU WANTED A TEAM SET FROM THIS PRODUCT. REVOLUTION HAS CHARLIE MORTON'S ONLY CARD AND ONE OF THREE AUSTIN RILEY CARDS IN CHRONICLES. MEANWHILE RONALD ACUÑA HAS A COUPLE DOZEN CARDS AND SOME PLAYERS ARE ONLY AVAILABLE IN RELIC OR AUTOGRAPH FORM. I'M HAVING A GOOD ENOUGH TIME PICKING UP A PACK HERE AND THERE AND SCROUNGING THRU BARGAIN BINS THANKFULLY. 

LAST BUT NOT LEAST MY OFFICIAL SUBSET DESIGN RANKINGS FOR 2022 CHRONICLES:

MEH TIER: LUMINENCE, ROOKIES & STARS, THREADS

WTF TIER: VERTEX

OK TIER: CHRONICLES BASE, CLEARLY DONRUSS, CONTENDERS OPTIC, SPECTRA

ALLL RIIIIGHT TIER: CERTIFIED, CLASSICS, PINNACLE

FUCK YEAH TIER: CRUSADE, REVOLUTION, ZENITH

IF YOU ABSOLUTELY DO NOT WANT TO SEE MORE CHRONICLES ON THIS BLOG YOU BETTER YELL AT ME IN THE COMMENTS BECAUSE I ALREADY BOUGHT TWO MORE PACKS

BOUGHT ANOTHER PACK OF CHRONICLES AT TARGET LIKE A DUMBASS - PART 2

WELCOME TO PART TWO OF THE CHRONICLES RACK PACK RIP. WE FINALLY GET SOME BASE CARDS BEFORE THE PACK TRANSITIONS TO THE SHINY STUFF. AS A REMINDER, HERE ARE THE THREE QUESTIONS FOR EACH DESIGN:

1) HAVE I EVER HEARD OF THIS PRODUCT?

2) WHAT ORIGINAL SET IS THIS RIPPING OFF?

3) IS THIS DESIGN WORTH A DAMN OR NOT?

CHRONICLES BASE WANDER FRANCO RC

1) THE WRAPPER TIPPED ME OFF TO THIS ONE

2) IT'S AN ORIGINAL DESIGN AND IS VERY CHRONICLES. IF FORCED TO COMPARE IT TO A PREVIOUS DESIGN I'D PROBABLY SAY UPPER DECK VICTORY FROM THE TURN OF THE CENTURY

3) IT'S FINE. I LIKE THIS ONE BETTER THAN THE ONES FROM 2017-2019 THAT HAD A HEADLINE INCORPORATED INTO THE DESIGN

ANOTHER BIG-TIME ROOKIE CARD, AND THIS ONE MIGHT EVEN BE AN ACTUAL RC SINCE IT'S A BASE CARD AND NOT ONE OF THE 'INSERTS'. WANDER WAS HURT LAST YEAR BUT SEEMS TO BE HEALTHY SO FAR IN SPRING TRAINING. HEALTHY ENOUGH TO NOT BE AVAILABLE IN MY FANTASY LEAGUE AT LEAST

PANINI THREADS BOBBY WITT JR. RC

1) I'M FAMILIAR WITH THREADS FROM BACK IN THE DONRUSS DAYS AND THE PANINI PRODUCTS COULD USUALLY BE FOUND AT DOLLAR TREE BACK BEFORE THE APOCALYPSE

2) MOARER PANINI ANGLES BUT LET'S BE FAIR, THE DESIGN OF THIS PRODUCT WAS PRETTY FORGETTABLE EVEN BACK IN THE DONRUSS DAYS

3) NOT THE WORST OF THE GENERIC DESIGNS, YOU CAN SEE A DECENT CHUNK OF THE PHOTO AT LEAST

YET ANOTHER SUPER YOUNG BLUE-CHIP SHORTSTOP PROSPECT ROOKIE CARD. I AIN'T GONNA COMPLAIN. NOW THAT WE HAVE A BALANCED SCHEDULE AND SEE EVERY TEAM MAYBE I'LL ACTUALLY SEE SOME OF THESE AL GUYS PLAY

CHRONICLES BASE GIANCARLO STANTON

OH MY GAWD, AN ACTUAL VETERAN CARD! A PRETTY NICE ONE TOO, GIANCARLO'S A BEAST EVEN IF HE GOT A BIT UPSTAGED LAST YEAR BY JUDGE. NOT A BIG YANKEE FAN BUT IT IS NICE TO SEE PEOPLE DO WELL AFTER ESCAPING MIAMI. I WISH OZUNA WOULD TAKE AFTER GIANCARLO

ZENITH ANTHONY RIZZO

1) WOOOHOOOOO ZEEEENIIITTTTHHHH!!!1 HELL TO THE YEAHS

2) NOT DIRECTLY COPYING ANY OF THE 90S ZENITH DESIGNS AS FAR AS I KNOW BUT IT IS ON EXTRA SHINY SUPER THICK CARD STOCK AND WOULD FIT IN NICELY ON A PAGE OF ORIGINALS

3) GREAT GOOGELY MOOGELY THIS CARD LOOKS GOOD AND I LOVE THE ZZZZZZ PATTERN ON THE CARD

RIZZZZZZO IS A GOOD FIT FOR ZZZZZZEENITH. TWO STRAIGHT YANKEES BUT I DON'T EVEN MIND. NORMALLY I WOULD STILL BE CONFUSED RIZZO AIN'T A CUB BUT SOOZ ON TWITTER HAS BECOME A BIG RIZZO FAN SINCE HE BECAME A YANKEE SO NOW I START TO FORGET HE WAS EVEN ON THE CUBS. THERE ARE SADLY NO BRAVES ON THE ZENITH DESIGN, BUT HOY PARK DOES HAVE A ZENITH ROOKIE CARD AND HE'S NOW PLAYING FOR THE GWINNETT STRIPERS SO NOW I NEED TO TRACK THAT CARD DOWN SOMEHOW

CLEARLY DONRUSS JOSH LOWE RATED ROOKIE

1) WASN'T FAMILIAR WITH THE CLEAR VERSION OF DONRUSS BUT TOPPS FLAGSHIP DOES IT TOO, SO FAIR PLAY TO PANINI

2) LITERALLY THE 2022 DONRUSS DESIGN ON PLASTIC. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TAKEN THE PICTURE ON A BLACK BACKGROUND BUT TOO LATE NOW

3) THIS MIGHT BE A CONTROVERSIAL STATEMENT, BUT I LIKE THE WEIRDASS 2022 DONRUSS DESIGN ALTHOUGH I THINK THE GOOFY 3D BORDERS POP BETTER ON THE REGULAR CARDS

THE BACK OF THE CARD IS A GIANT RATED ROOKIE LOGO WHICH HONESTLY IS FINE WITH ME. IF ANYTHING IT SHOULD BE MUCH BIGGER. JOSH LOWE IS THE FORTY-SEVENTH MIDDLE INFIELD ROOKIE CARD IN THIS PACK AND THERE ARE STILL MORE TO COME. JOSH WAS A FIRST ROUND PICK IN 2016 FROM A LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL IN MARIETTA. HE DIDN'T HAVE A SUPER GREAT ROOKIE YEAR BUT IS STILL YOUNG AND HAS HAD A DECENT SPRING TRAINING. NOT DECENT ENOUGH FOR ME TO PICK HIM UP IN MY FANTASY DRAFT BUT NOW THAT I'VE PULLED HIS CARD HE'LL BE ON MY RADAR FOR WAIVER WIRE PICKUPS. YES, I DO BASE FANTASY BASEBALL DECISIONS AROUND PLAYERS I PULLED OUT OF PACKS, DOESN'T EVERYONE?

BOUGHT ANOTHER PACK OF CHRONICLES AT TARGET LIKE A DUMBASS

REMEMBER THAT TOPPS SERIES ONE HANGER PACK I BOUGHT? THE PLAN WAS TO PICK UP A SERIES ONE RACK PACK TO GO WITH IT BUT THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY. THEY DID HAVE A BUNCH OF 2022 CHRONICLES PACKS THOUGH AND STILL DAZZLED BY ALL THOSE QUARTER CARDS I PICKED UP I STUPIDLY BOUGHT ONE. DID I HAVE FUN AT LEAST OR WAS IT A BIG WASTE OF MONEY? LET'S FIND OUT! FIND OUT OVER THE NEXT MONTH, I CUT THE POST INTO THREE PARTS AGAIN BECAUSE IT WAS TAKING TOO LONG TO WRITE

REMINDER ON THE GIMMICK FOR CHRONICLES POSTS. FOR EACH DESIGN I WILL ANSWER THESE THREE QUESTIONS: 

1) HAVE I EVER HEARD OF THIS PRODUCT?

2) WHAT ORIGINAL SET IS THIS RIPPING OFF?

3) IS THIS DESIGN WORTH A DAMN OR NOT?

VERTEX ONEIL CRUZ RC

1) THE CARD IS IN MY HAND AND I'M LOOKING RIGHT AT IT AND I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL IT IS

2) THIS DOESN'T LOOK LIKE ANYTHING I'VE EVER SEEN ON A TRADING CARD. IT SORTA REMINDS ME OF A PIET MONDRIAN PAINTING BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE ENOUGH COLORS. MAYBE IT'S A SUPER ABSTRACT VERSION OF 1993 SCORE ALL-STAR CARDS?

3) I WON'T ARGUE WITH ANYONE WHO THINKS THIS CARD IS UGLY AS SIN CUZ IT IS BUT I KINDA RESPECT THE ULTRA MINIMALISTIC DESIGN COMBINED WITH SUPER INTRICATE EMBOSSING. IT'S COMPLETELY UNIQUE AND THAT COUNTS FOR A LOT

SPEAKING OF MINIMALISM, JUST LOL AT THIS CARD BACK WITH NAME, TEAM, POSITION, AND BIRTHDAY. YOU CAN SEE THE WILD EMBOSSING MUCH BETTER FROM THIS VANTAGE POINT. CHRONICLES IS FILTHY WITH ROOKIE CARDS AND ONEIL CRUZ IS A GOOD ONE TO GET RIGHT OFF THE BAT. PITTSBURGH IS PROBABLY GOING TO BE A MESS IN '23 BUT THEY'VE GOT A LOT OF NICE YOUNG PLAYERS. SADLY THE TOP LEFT CORNER OF THIS CARD IS NOT SO MUCH DINGED AS IT IS BENT BUT I WASN'T GOING TO GET THIS GRADED ANYTIME SOON

PINNACLE JEREMY PENA RC

1) YESSSSSS. THIS IS THE PINNACLE I KNOW AND LOVE!

2) BIG OL' RIPOFF OF 1992 PINNACLE. YES THE FONT IS WONKY AND THERE'S SOME ANACHRONISTIC FOIL STAMPING BUT IT'S GOT THE BLACK BORDERS, 90S GRADIENT AND PHOTO BLEEDING OFF THE EDGES OF THE CARD. PERFECT IS THE ENEMY OF FUCKIN' AWESOME

3) I ALMOST CRIED WITH JOY WHEN I SAW THIS AFTER THAT TRAVESTY OF A PINNACLE DESIGN IN THE LAST BATCH OF CHRONICLES CARDS. SO DAMN HAPPY WITH THIS

THEY DID A REALLY GOOD JOB WITH THE BACK AS WELL. IF ONLY THEY'D SPRING FOR A DIFFERENT PHOTO FOR ONCE. I'M NOT SURE IF THE 2022 ROOKIE CLASS WAS JUST THAT GOOD OF IF MY LUCK IS FANTASTIC, BUT I'VE HIT TWO TOP ROOKIE SHORTSTOPS IN A ROW. AS I'M TYPING THIS, THE BRAVES ARE HAVING A BIT OF A CONTROVERSY WITH THEIR OWN ROOKIE SHORTSTOP BUT I FEEL CONFIDENT THAT IT WILL BE SORTED OUT BY THE TIME THIS POST GOES LIVE. JEREMY PENA REALLY JUMPED INTO CARLOS CORREA'S SHOES AND WENT OUT AND WON WORLD SERIES MVP. PRETTY GOOD. THIS CARD IS EVEN MORE BEAT UP THAN THE CRUZ CARD, SOMEHOW THE TOP RIGHT CORNER IS BONKED THIS TIME. THEM'S THE BREAKS WHEN YOU BUY RETAIL 

ROOKIES AND STARS JAKE BURGER RC

1) I KNOW LEAF ROOKIES AND STARS BUT I DON'T KNOW THIS

2) TYPICAL PANINI 'ANGLES, ANGLES EVERYWHERE' SCHOOL OF CARD DESIGN

3) NOT A FAN

I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT THIS CARD. IT LOOKS LIKE A BUNCH OF OTHER RANDOM PANINI PRODUCTS AND ISN'T FOILY OR SHINY TO DAZZLE MY EYES. LOOKS LIKE JAKE BURGER IS HITTING DINGERS IN SPRING TRAINING BUT HE'S GOT YOAN MONCADA AHEAD OF HIM ON THE DEPTH CHART. LOOKING AT THE BACK OF THE CARD JAKE IS AN ECONOMIST WHO WANTS TO GET INTO POLITICS SO I HOPE HE WINS THE JOB AND LOCKS DOWN THE HOT CORNER FOR A DECADE AND THEN GETS INTO COACHING. MAY YOUR BASEBALL CAREER BE LONGER THAN JIMMY REESE'S

LUMINANCE ROMY GONZALEZ RC

1) AW YEAH, THIS IS THAT UGLY STUFF I PULLED IN THAT PACK OF BASKETBALL DRAFT PICKS

2) TO QUOTE THE PREVIOUS POST, "THIS LOOKS LIKE THE BLANDEST FLEER ULTRA SET HAD A BABY WITH UPPER DECK FIRST EDITION"

3) I DON'T DIG IT, BUT IT'S BETTER THAN GENERIC PANINI ANGLES

ANOTHER WHITE SOX ROOKIE WITH NEGATIVE CAREER WAR. LOOKS LIKE ROMY MIGHT END UP A UTILITY GUY NOW THAT ELVIS ANDRUS IS PLAYING SECOND. MY EYES SUCK SO WHEN I READ THE BACK OF THE CARD I SAW 'GONZALEZ HAS A BIG HAT' AND LAUGHED. WE NEED A TRADING CARD SET OF PLAYERS WITH BIG HATS

CLASSICS KYLE MULLER RC

1) CLASSICS IS THE ONE TRADING CARD SET THAT MAKES ME THINK ABOUT COLLECTING FOOTBALL CARDS AGAIN

2) THERE'S A LOT OF ELEMENTS CRIBBED FROM JUNK WAX SETS HERE BUT THE ONE IT REMINDS ME OF THE MOST IS 1990 FLEER

3) VINTAGEY RETROEY RIP OFF SETS ARE LIKE CATNIP TO ME, I LOVE THIS KINDA CRAP

WOOHOO! I GOT A BRAVE IN THE PACK! WOOHOO! WE TRADED HIM FOR SEAN MURPHY! KYLE WAS A SECOND ROUND PICK FOR THE BRAVES AND ONE OF A HANDFUL OF DECENT PITCHING PROSPECTS TRYING TO CRACK THE ROTATION. HE ONLY PITCHED A DOZEN GAMES FOR THE BRAVES BUT WHILE THE BEST TEAM OUTCOME FOR A PITCHING PROSPECT IS TO GET A SOLID SPOT IN THE ROTATION LIKE MAX FRIED OR KYLE WRIGHT, THE SECOND BEST OUTCOME IS TO GET A DAMN GOOD PLAYER IN RETURN WHEN TRADING SAID PROSPECT. THE A'S ARE LOOKING LIKE THE BRAVES WEST IN SOME RESPECTS AND I HOPE KYLE HAS SOME SUCCESS OVER THERE

THAT'S ENOUGH FOR TODAY, NEXT TIME WE'LL SEE SOME BASE CARDS, SOME SHINY, AND SOME ACTUAL VETERANS FROM THE PACK

The Umpire Took my Baby Away

There was no way I could resist this one.

Spooked by the NBA referee gambling scandal, Major League Baseball asked the umpire's union if they could conduct financial background checks on the umps. The umpire's union said no. So obviously the proper response by MLB is to send out investigators to question the umpire's neighbors and ask them if the umps beat their wives, grew pot or belonged to the KKK.

I'm sorry, but I have to. I just do.

The Ramones - The KKK Umpires Took My Baby Away




The really terrible copy of this YouTube clip actually works well with the cheesy 80's video from The Ramones and is kind of endearing. The really terrible leadership in Major League Baseball is not endearing at all. Five more years, baby.