BLACK FRIDAY COMC PICKUPS - PART 54: SKEERY

WE ARE FULLY INTO EXTREME WEIRDNESS MODE NOW. THIS ONE'S STRANGE, EVEN FOR ME

1937 CHURCHMAN'S CIGARETTES HOWLERS - THE SUPERNATURAL

MOST HUMOR IS FARTS: FUNNY IN THE MOMENT BUT WHEN IT LINGERS IT STINKS. THERE ARE QUITE A FEW HUMOR-THEMED TOBACCO CARD SETS OUT THERE BUT 100+ YEAR OLD JOKES ARE USUALLY BAFFLING AT BEST AND BIGOTED AT WORST. AS SUCH I HAVE USUALLY PASSED ON THE PRE-WAR JOKE SETS BUT THIS ONE GRABBED ME WITH THE SUBJECT MATTER. YOU'VE PROBABLY NOTICED A LARGE NUMBER OF THESE COMC PICKUPS ARE OF MONSTERS, FROM MONSTER MOVIES OR JUST SPOOKY SHIT IN GENERAL. I LOVE ALL THIS NONSENSE AND AM SLOWLY BUILDING UP A BINDER FULL OF FUN MONSTER CARDS. THERE AREN'T A LOT OF MONSTERS IN PRE-WAR TOBACCO SETS THOUGH, MOST OF THAT STUFF STARTED POPPING UP IN THE FIFTIES ONCE MONSTER MOVIES STATED GETTING HEAVY ROTATION ON TELEVISION SO IT WAS A NICE SURPRISE TO SEE A SKEERY GOOST ON A CARD FROM THE THIRTIES. JOKES MAY NOT AGE WELL BUT ART HAS A MUCH LONGER SHELF LIFE AND THIS INTERPRETATION OF A TRADITIONAL FLOATING SHEET GHOST IS STILL PRETTY FUNNY. CHECK OUT THOSE GHOSTLY EYEBROWS. THIS SET WAS DRAWN BY ILLUSTRATOR RENE BULL AND IS PRETTY GOOD STUFF. EVERY CARD FRONT HAS A BACK AND THAT'S WHERE THE JOKES ARE

EACH BACK HAS A HANDFUL OF ONE-LINERS BASED ON THEIR FRONT SUBJECT. A LOT OF THEM READ LIKE A LIST OF SARCASTIC FACTS AS A FEW OF THE CARDS ARE OF HISTORICAL SUBJECTS LIKE HENRY VIII AND NAPOLEON AND SEEM TO LEAN HEAVILY ON ENGLISH IN-JOKES. THE WRITERS OF THIS SET SEEM TO BE MORE INTERESTED IN HISTORY THAN THE OCCULT AS THE GAGS FOR THE SUPERNATURAL ARE KIND OF THIN AND THERE'S A LOT MORE BLANK SPACE ON THE BACK OF THIS CARD AS THERE IS ON SOME OF THE OTHERS. OUR FIRST JOKE SEEMS MORE LIKE A ZEN KOAN, A MEDITATION ON SOMETHING INVISIBLE THAT CAN BE SEEN. OUR SECOND JOKE IS QUALITY STUFF ALTHOUGH IT WOULD PROBABLY BE MORE APPRECIATED BY LINGUISTS. I HAVE TO ADMIT 'A MYTH IS A FEMALE MOTH' MAKE ME CHUCKLE DUE TO THE SHEER ABSURDITY OF IT ALL. THE LAST JOKE REDEFINES DEAD LANGUAGE TO TAKE A POKE AT DEAF PEOPLE AND IS A GOOD EXAMPLE OF THE REASON IT'S NOT MUCH FUN TO REVISIT A LOT OF OLD COMEDY. I BOUGHT IT FOR THE ART, NOT THE GAGS, AND CAN JUST IGNORE THE BACK AND ENJOY MY SKEERY EYEBROW GHOST

BLACK FRIDAY COMC PICKUPS - PART 52: KITTY!!! PART 2

MY FAVORITE CARD THAT I PICKED UP IN THIS BUNCH BY FAR AND PROBABLY A TOP TEN CARD IN MY COLLECTION NOW. NOT EVEN KIDDING

1920S CLUB MEMBER/CASKET/CRITIC TOBACCO ORIGINAL PHOTOS OF ANIMALS AND SCENES LADY CARDSHARPER

KITTY! IT'S A KITTY. FROM A HUNDRED YEARS AGO. A SHAGGY BLACK KITTY. PERCHED ON A LITTLE TABLE IN FRONT OF A BRICK WALL. OR A BACKDROP PAINTED LIKE A BRICK WALL. A KITTY CARD! A KITTY NAMED LADY CARDSHARPER. A KITTY WHOSE NAME HAS CARD IN IT. SHE IS BASICALLY THE BLOG MASCOT NOW. IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHAT A CARDSHARPER IS IT'S A SPELLING VARIATION ON CARD SHARK AKA SOMEONE WHO MAKES A LOT OF MONEY CHEATING AT CARDS THROUGH USE OF DECEPTIVE PRACTICES. THIS ACTUALLY SOUNDS A LOT LIKE SOME OF THE ONLINE TRADING CARD SELLERS ON TWITTER OR THAT APP THAT EVERYONE POSTS SALES SCREENSHOTS FROM ON TWITTER. WHILE THOSE PEOPLE MAY BE ACCURATELY DESCRIBED AS CARDSHARPERS, LET ME ASSURE YOU THAT LADY CARDSHARPER WOULD NEVER REFUND YOUR ANGELS BREAK FEE AFTER PULLING A TROUT/OHTANI DUAL AUTORELIC ON STREAM. SHE WOULD NEVER. SHE WOULD ABSOLUTELY THROW OUT FIVE ACES AFTER YOU WENT ALL-IN ON A STRAIGHT FLUSH AND LOOK YOU STRAIGHT IN THE EYE AND PURR WHILE TAKING THE POT

I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT THIS CARD SET IS AND I'M NOT GOING TO PRETEND LIKE I DO, SO INSTEAD I WILL TELL YOU WHAT I DO KNOW. IT'S AN BRITISH ISSUE AS YOU CAN TELL FROM THE PRICING ON THE BACK AND FROM THE MANUFACTURER BEING BASED IN MANCHESTER. THIS DID NOT PREVENT ME FROM TRYING TO FIND THE SET IN MY COPY OF AMERICAN TOBACCO CARDS BY ROGERT FORBES AND TERRENCE MITCHELL. QUALITY CIGARETTES IS COMPLETELY UNGOOGLEABLE NOW THAT THE SEARCH ENGINE IS AI WORD SALAD BULLSHIT. CLUB MEMBER, CASKET AND CRITIC FINDS A FEW EBAY LISTINGS OF THE CARDS IF YOU ARE LUCKY ENOUGH TO SEARCH AT THE RIGHT TIME WHEN ONE IS UP FOR AUCTION. IT ALSO LOOKS LIKE THE THREE C'S BRAND ALSO HAS AN ANCIENT DIRT BIKE TRADING CARD SET TO ITS NAME

CAN I JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO DERAIL THE WHOLE POST AND SAY THAT "CASKET" IS A FUCKING AMAZING NAME FOR A CIGARETTE BRAND. "ONE PACK OF SMOKES, SHOPKEEP" "WHAT BRAND, SIR?" "THE ONE I'LL BE INSIDE VERY SOON, MY GOOD MAN" I BET IF YOU REVIVED THAT BRAND TODAY AND MARKETED IT WITH SOME GOTHY COFFIN SHIT YOU WOULDN'T SELL A LOT OF CIGARETTES BUT YOU'D HAVE A VERY LOYAL BATCH OF CUSTOMERS, FOR AS LONG AS YOU COULD KEEP THEM. BACK TO THE POST

SEARCHING THE PROPRIETER JOSEPH A PATTREIOUEX GETS EVEN MORE HITS. THE BIGGUN IS A SPORTING EVENT AND STARS SET FEATURING A REALLY NICE JOE LOUIS CARD. THERE'S ALSO A REALLY NEAT AIRPLANE-THEMED SET UNDER THE SENIOR SERVICE BRAND. THAT DISCOVERY LED ME TO FIND THAT SENIOR SERVICE CARDS HAD A COOL ALBUM WITH CUT OUTS ON THE PAGES SO YOU COULD SEE THE TEXT ON THE BACK, WHICH IS A FANTASTIC IDEA. THIS LINK TO THE UK TOBACCO BRANDS LIBRARY TELLS US THAT J.A.'S COMPANY WAS ESTABLISHED IN 1861, BUT I DON'T HAVE THE £9.95 TO FIND OUT ANYTHING MORE. OTHER THAN THAT I CAN'T FIND ANY INFO ON THIS SET OTHER THAN EBAY LISTINGS AND OTHER COMC CARDS THAT I'M NOT GOING TO LINK TO ON HER BECAUSE I KINDA WANT TO BUY ANOTHER ONE OF THEM. OUR LADY IS CARD NUMBER 356 SO IT'S LIKELY THERE ARE A BUNCH OF OTHER KITTIES OUT THERE WAITING TO BE DISCOVERED. THIS TO ME IS THE BEST PART ABOUT THIS HOBBY, GOING OUT THERE AND FINDING SOMETHING COMPLETELY BONKERS THAT YOU NEVER EVEN KNEW EXISTED THAT IS ABSOLUTELY THE BEST MOST PERFECTEST THING EVER

ALL HAIL LADY CARDSHARPER

BLACK FRIDAY COMC PICKUPS - PART 19: HOLLYWOOD

OH YEAH THIS IS A BIG ONE. A SUPERSTAR CARD. ONE OF MY ALL-TIME FAVORITES. SETTLE IN FOR SOME MORE UK CIGARETTE CARD GOODNESS

1934 PLAYER'S FILM STARS CARY GRANT

OLD CIGARETTE CARDS ARE A FRIGGIN GOLD MINE FOR FINDING CARDS OF GOLDEN AGE HOLLYWOOD STARS. WHEN DIGGING THROUGH NON SPORTS CARDS ON COMC LOOKING FOR GINTERS AND BIRDS AND WHATNOT I FOUND THIS ABSOLUTE TREASURE TROVE OF COOL OLD FILM CARDS I'D NEVER SEEN BEFORE. I'VE BOOKMARKED A LOT OF THE ONES I REALLY LIKED AND THERE'S TONS OF GREAT NAMES THERE LIKE DAVID NIVEN, CLAUDE RAINS, FAY WRAY, GINA LOLLOBRIGIDA, EDWARD G. ROBINSON, SO MANY MORE GREAT ACTORS HAVE CHEAP OLD CARDS! WELL, MOST ARE CHEAP. HEAVY MEGA ALL TIME GREAT SUPERSTARS LIKE JIMMY STEWART OR BETTE DAVIS OR HUMPHREY BOGART CAN GET A LITTLE PRICY. NOT EXTREMELY PRICY BUT MAYBE TEN TO TWENTY BUCKS PRICY WHICH BLOWS MY ANNUAL COMC BUDGET. WHILE I WANT THEM ALL I HAVE HAD SOME MEASURE OF FINANCIAL RESTRAINT IN MY COMC BINGES AND HAVE SETTLED FOR ONE INEXPENSIVE HOLLYWOOD LEGEND CIGARETTE CARD IN EACH OF MY ORDERS. THE 2020 ORDER FEATURED MY HORROR FAVE PETER LORRE. MY MOST RECENT ORDER HAD A COMEDY LEGEND IN IT THAT YOU'LL FIND OUT ABOUT SOON ENOUGH. BUT IN 2021 I MANAGED TO SNAG ONE OF THE HEAVY MEGA ALL TIME GREAT SUPERSTAR CARDS I REALLY WANTED FOR SUPER CHEAP

CARY GRANT IS ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE ACTORS IF NOT MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE PERIOD. INSTEAD OF HAPHAZARDLY WRITING  BREATHLESS NONSENSE GUSHING ABOUT CARY GRANT'S MANY ACHIVEMENTS HERE'S A TOP FIVE LIST OF MY FAVORITE GRANT MOVIES PLUS A FEW EXTRAS:

NEED TO WATCH/REWATCH:

GUNGA DIN, HIS GIRL FRIDAY, THE PHILADELPHIA STORY

I'VE NEVER SEEN GUNGA DIN AND WHILE I'M SURE IT'S AGED JUST AS WELL AS FELLOW 1939 RELEASE GONE WITH THE WIND, IT'S THE FILM THAT REALLY ESTABLISHED GRANT AS A BONA FIDE STAR AND HAS BEEN WILDLY INFLUENTIAL ON FILMMAKERS TO THIS DAY. I WATCHED THE PHILADELPHIA STORY AS A KID AND JUST. DID. NOT. GET. IT. IT'S ARGUABLY HIS MOST ACCLAIMED FILM, I SHOULD REALLY GIVE IT ANOTHER CHANCE. AS FOR HIS GIRL FRIDAY, I FEEL LIKE THERE'S NO WAY I HAVEN'T WATCHED THIS AT SOME POINT BUT I HAVE NO MEMORY OF IT WHATSOEVER? IT'S LIKE THE SCREWBALL COMEDY, I'M SURE I'D LOVE IT

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

TOPPER, NOTORIOUS, OPERATION PETTICOAT

I LOVE SUPERNATURAL COMEDIES AND WATCHING GRANT AND CONSTANCE BENNETT FLOAT AROUND AS GHOSTS CAUSING MISCHIEF IN TOPPER IS A LOT OF FUN. NOTORIOUS IS GREAT AND WAS MY FIRST EVER CRITERION COLLECTION DVD, BUT I CAN'T PUT ALL OF HITCHCOCK'S GRANT FILMS ON MY TOP FIVE LIST. OPERATION PETTICOAT IS SORT OF AN ODDBALL PICK BUT GRANT AND TONY CURTIS ARE GREAT IN THIS AND IT'S ONE OF THE VERY FEW WAR FILMS I ACTUALLY ENJOY

LEAST FAVORITE:

MONKEY BUSINESS

CARY GRANT AND A GODDAMN CHIMPANZEE IN A HOWARD HAWKS COMEDY. HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY FUCK THAT UP? WITH 1950S SHITTY ATTITUDES, THAT'S HOW. GRANT IS A SCIENTIST WHO ACCIDENTALLY CONCOCTS A YOUTH POTION WITH AN ASSIST FROM THE MONKEY AND THE WHOLE FILM ENDS UP BEING 'YOUNG PEOPLE ARE SOOOO STOOOPID' JOKES. GRANT DRINKS THE POTION TO BECOME YOUNG AGAIN AND THEN HE GOES OUT AND GETS THE WRONG HAIRCUT AND DRIVES THE WRONG CAR. EGADS! GINGER ROGERS DRINKS THE POTION AND TURNS INTO A SNOTTY, LYING INSUFFERABLE BRAT. BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOUNG WOMEN ARE! BLECCH. THERE'S PLENTY OF STANDARD COMEDIC MISUNDERSTANDINGS DRIVING THE PLOT BUT NONE OF IT IS FUN BECAUSE IT'S BASED ON ALL THIS OPRESSIVE 50'S SEXISM AND CONFIRMIST NONSENSE. IF THAT'S NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU HOW'S THIS: CARY GRANT IN BLACKFACE. AT ONE POINT GRANT DRINKS A LOT OF THE YOUTH POTION AND IT MAKES HIM THINK HE'S A CHILD SO HE RUNS OFF TO PLAY INDIANS WITH A GROUP OF KIDS (WHICH IS CREEPY ENOUGH TO BE HONEST) AND CAN YOU GUESS HOW HE DECIDED TO DRESS UP AS AN INDIAN? THE FILM REMINDS ME OF A 21ST CENTURY CRINGE COMEDY WHERE THE AWKWARDNESS KEEPS RAMPING UP TO UNBEARABLE LEVELS AND THEN RAMPS IT UP SOME MORE. IT'S WORST SIN IS STICKING MARILYN MONROE IN A STEREOTYPICAL SEXIST SECRETARY ROLE AND HAVING THE ENTIRE CAST TREAT HER LIKE ABSOLUTE SHIT THE ENTIRE FILM. INCLUDING THE MONKEY. JUST GROSS

UGH, I FORGOT I HAD SOME FEELINGS ABOUT THAT MOVIE. HERE'S SOME ACTUAL GOOD FILMS IN THE TOP FIVE:

NUMBER 5 - TO CATCH A THIEF

I SAW THIS FILM IN THE THEATER WHEN I WAS IN COLLEGE AND IT IS JUST FUCKING GORGEOUS. SO MUCH COLOR, SO MUCH SCENERY, SO MUCH GRACE KELLY, IT'S AN INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL FILM. GRANT AND KELLY HAVE GREAT CHEMISTRY AND HITCHCOCK KEEPS THINGS MOVING. SO GOOD

NUMBER 4 - SUSPICION

HERE WE GET TO SEE SINISTER CARY GRANT. SCOUNDREL CARY GRANT. POSSIBLY DEADLY CARY GRANT. GRANT GETS TO SHOW OFF THE DARK SIDE OF HIS CARELESS PLAYBOY PERSONA IN THIS ONE. JUST AN IMAGE OF THE STAIRCASE SCENE GIVES ME CHILLS. OH HOW I WISH HITCHCOCK HAD BEEN ABLE TO FILM HIS ORIGINAL ENDING

NUMBER 3 - BRINGING UP BABY

"OOOH DAYVIIID..." THIS MOVIE MAKES ME SO DAMN HAPPY EVERY TIME I SEE IT. POOR CARY STARS AS A NERVOUS WRECK OF A PALEONTOLOGIST WHO IS TORMENTED BY KATHERINE HEPBURN'S GODMOTHER OF ALL MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRLS CHARACTER AS HIS CAREER, MARRIAGE AND INTERCOSTAL CLAVICLE ALL GET FLUSHED DOWN THE TOILET. EVERYTHING IS RIDICULOUS AND EVERYONE IS FUNNY. I'M TRYING TO THINK OF MY FAVORITE SCENE BUT THERE'S LIKE EIGHT DIFFERENT BITS IN THE JAILHOUSE SCENE ALONE THAT ARE MAKING ME LAUGH AS I THINK ABOUT THEM. "YOU HAVEN'T GOT AN AUNT!!!" EVEN THE LEOPARD IS HILARIOUS. AND THE DOG. AND CARY GRANT FOR THAT MATTER.

"I CAN'T GET ANY CLOSER"

"I JUST WENT GAY ALL OF A SUDDEN"

"I CAN'T LEAVE YOU DAVID, I LOVE YOU!" "WHAT?!?"

GRANT'S COMEDIC TIMING IS JUST OFF THE CHARTS IN THIS ONE

NUMBER 2 - NORTH BY NORTHWEST

I'M KINDA SURPRISED THIS ISN'T NUMBER ONE MYSELF. I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS, THE PLOT, THE CINEMATOGRAPHY, THE SUSPENSE, THE HUMOR, THE MUSIC, THE CAST, THE PERFORMANCES, THE TITLE SEQUENCE. IT'S ALL GREAT. I ALSO CONSIDER IT THE REAL FIRST JAMES BOND FILM. THINK ABOUT IT: JAMES BOND SHOWS UP IN AMERICA, PRETENDS TO BE AN AD EXECUTIVE, GETS MS MONEYPENNY TO ACT LIKE HIS MOTHER, AND THEN ASSUMES THE NAME OF FAKE AMERICAN AGENT GEORGE KAPLAN IN ORDER TO INSERT HIMSELF INTO THE INTERNATIONAL INGRIGUE GOING DOWN. FELIX LEITER PULLS SOME STRINGS AT THE CIA TO LET JAMES LOOSE ON THE BADDIES AND MOTHER ENGLAND GETS TO ASSERT HER INFLUENCE WHILE THE QUEEN LOOKS FROM THE SIDELINES GIGGLING LIKE THE SICKOS GUY WITH SQUEAKY CLEAN UNBLEMISHED HANDS. IT'S FUCKIN GREAT AND I GET TO HEADCANON THAT CARY GRANT WAS THE BOND BEFORE CONNERY TOOK OVER

NUMBER 1 - ARSENIC AND OLD LACE

WHEN YOU SIGN UP ON LETTERBOXD YOU'RE ASKED FOR YOUR FAVORITE FOUR FILMS. I SIGNED UP A WHILE AGO AND USE IT SPORADICALLY BUT AS I'VE CHANGED MY FAVE FOUR FILMS SEVERAL TIMES, ARSENIC AND OLD LACE HAS NOT BUDGED OFF THAT LIST. THIS MOVIE CHECKS EVERY SINGLE THING I LOVE THE BEST IN FILM. A COMEDY? CHECK. A HORROR COMEDY? DOUBLE CHECK. AN OLD DARK HOUSE FILM? CHECK. A CLEVER PLOT THAT KEEPS YOU ENGAGED? CHECK. MASSIVE BODY COUNT? CHECK. KINDA SUBVERSIVE? CHECK. AMAZING CAST TOP TO BOTTOM? CHECK CHECKITY CHECK CHECK. BESIDES GRANT, WHO BRINGS ONE OF HIS MOST BRILLIANT UNHINGED OVER THE TOP COMEDY PERFORMANCES OF HIS CAREER, YOU'VE ALSO GOT:

PRICILLA LANE, A FILM NOIR AND HITCHCOCK VETERAN

RAYMOND MASSEY, WHO PLAYED SHERLOCK HOLMES, ABE LINCOLN TWICE, AND WAS THE LEAD IN ONE OF MY OTHER FAVORITES, THE OLD DARK HOUSE

JOSEPHINE HULL, WHO ALSO PLAYED THE LEAD'S AUNT IN HARVEY, WHICH IS ANOTHER FILM THAT'S BEEN IN MY TOP FOUR AT ONE TIME

JAMES GLEASON, ONE OF THE ORIGINAL HARD-BOILED "THAT GUY"S IN NOIRS AND GRITTY DRAMAS

JACK CARSON, CHARACTER ACTING LEGEND WHO WAS EQUALLY ADEPT AT COMEDY AND DRAMA

EDWARD EVERETT HORTON, PROLIFIC COMEDY ACTOR AND VOICE OF FRACTURED FAIRY TALES

AND PETER FUCKING LORRE WHO IS LITERALLY ON MY MOUNT RUSHMORE OF HORROR ICONS AND SHOWS OFF HIS INCREDIBLE COMEDIC TIMING ON THIS PICTURE TO BOOT

THIS MOVIE IS PROBABLY THE MAIN REASON I LIKE CARY GRANT SO MUCH AS ONCE I SAW IT IT LED ME TO WATCH AS MANY OF HIS FILMS AS I COULD FIND

AND THAT'S WHY I'M GAGA OVER CARY GRANT. YOU'RE PROBABLY WONDERING HOW I GOT SUCH A COOL LOOKING CARD SUPER CHEAP

THIS IS WHY. NO BACK. WELL, A LITTLE BIT OF A GHOST OF A BACK. FRONT LOOKS GOOD AS HELL THO. BUT THAT MEANT THIS COST A COUPLE BUCKS INSTEAD OF SIXTEEN. AND IT'S EASY ENOUGH TO FIND THE BACK ONLINE

GOOD OL ARCHIBALD ALEXANDER LEACH, RUNNING AWAY TO JOIN AN ACROBATIC TROUPE. IT'S KIND OF AMAZING THIS CARD CAME OUT BEFORE JUST ABOUT ALL HIS BEST KNOWN FILMS WERE MADE. BY 1934 HE HAD BEEN IN OVER A DOZEN FILMS INCLUDING A COUPLE WITH MARLENE DIETRICH AND MAE WEST BUT ALL HIS ABSOLUTE CLASSICS WERE STILL AHEAD OF HIM. I TRIED USING THE COMC HTML TO ADD THE PIC BUT IT LOOKED CRUMMY SO I SWIPED THE IMAGE INSTEAD AND NOW I FEEL BAD SO HERE'S THE LINK FOR YA. THIS SET HAS SOME GOOD STUFF IN IT LIKE MAE WEST AND MAURICE CHEVALIER AND IDA LUPINO. GO BUY A LOT OF 'EM. JUST SAVE ME THE BEAT UP CHEAP ONES FOR NEXT TIME, OK?

FIVE BUX AT THE VINTAGE TABLE

 OLDY MOLDY SHMOLDY BLOLDY CARDS

OH HAI THERE, I'M NOT JUST POSTING BECAUSE TWITTER'S ACTIVELY ON FIRE, I'M POSTING BECAUSE I'VE HAD WRITER'S BLOCK FOR LIKE EIGHT MONTHS AND I'M DESPERATE FOR ANY KIND OF OUTLET. MY BIG PROBLEM IS WHEN I POST ON HERE, I GO CRAZY AND SCAN 148 CARDS FRONT AND BACK AND BY THE TIME I DO ALL THAT AND UPLOAD THEM I'M EXHAUSTED AND CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THIS FLAT THING WITH ALL THE BUTTONS IS FOR ANYMORE. I THINK WHEN ELON PULLS THE PLUG AFTER THE FEDERAL INDICTMENTS HIT I'M GOING TO START DOING SHORT FORM TWITTER-STYLE SHITPOSTS ON HERE ON WHATEVER RIDICULOUS JUNK CARD I FIND AT THE MOMENT BUT TO BREAK HIATUS AND GET BACK TO IT I'M GOING TO BE LAZY AND SCROUNGE THE DRAFT FOLDER

ONE PROBLEM THOUGH - I BOUGHT ALL THESE CARDS AT A CARD SHOW BACK IN JUNE AND UPLOADED THE SCANS AND WROTE OUT THE TITLE ON JUNE 15TH. FIVE MONTHS LATER I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO EARTHLY IDEA HOW ALL THIS COULD POSSIBLY HAVE ONLY COST FIVE BUCKS. I'VE LOOKED OVER THESE CARDS LIKE TEN TIMES NOW AND EVEN IF THE SELLER CUT ME A DEAL AS HE IS KNOWN TO DO I JUST CAN'T FIGURE OUT THE MATH TO MAKE THIS ADD UP TO JUST FIVE BUX. AT ANY RATE I PAID SOMETHING AND CAME HOME WITH THEM SO I'LL JUST PLAY ALONG WITH SUMMER ME AND RAVE ABOUT SUCH GETTING SUCH A GREAT DEAL

THIS BEAUTIFUL MESS IS A T-58 FISH SERIES CARD OF THE MIGHTY SWORDFISH. I FEEL LIKE THIS CARD COST TWO DOLLARS BECAUSE I'VE BOUGHT TOBACCO CARDS IN GARBAGE CONDITION FROM THIS GUY BEFORE AND I THINK THAT'S HIS DEFAULT PRICE FOR STUFF LIKE THAT. THIS WAS LITERALLY THE FIRST THING I SAW WHEN I WALKED INTO THE SHOW AND I HAD AN ITALIAN SPIDERMAN GIF REACTION AND IMMEDIATELY GRABBED IT BECAUSE REASONS

what's the password

CREASES, RUINED CORNERS, STAINS, PAPER LOSS, TRIMMED, THIS IS MY KINDA CARD. MINE HAS THE SWEET CAPORAL AD BUT THEY CAN ALSO BE FOUND WITH PIEDMONT AND SOVEREIGN ADS AS WELL. NICE INEXPENSIVE WAY TO GET A T-206 BACK FIX. THIS SELLER WRITES ALL THE PRICES DIRECTLY ON THE PENNY SLEEVE SO IF I SEARCHED I COULD PROBABLY FIND THE PRICE BUT I AIN'T GOT TIME FOR THAT. ALSO THIS CARD MIGHT NOT BE INCLUDED IN THE FIVE BUX TOTAL. THAT WOULD MAKE SENSE CONSIDERING THE CARD THAT BOOKENDS THE POST. LET'S JUST GO WITH THAT

-----FIVE BUX STARTS HERE-----

FIRST BASEBALL-TYPE CARD I FOUND AFTER I GOT OVER THE SHOCK OF TOBACCOFISH WAS THIS 1973 KELLOGG'S CARD OF HALL OF FAMER BOBBY GRICH. I KNOW WHAT I SAID, I'M FED UP WITH THE HALL OF FAME VOTING SHENANIGANS AND HAVE REJECTED THEIR REALITY AND SUBSTITUTED MY OWN. GRICH WAS ELECTED IN 1994, SHORTLY AFTER THE RANGERS SHOCKED THE EXPOS IN THE WORLD SERIES. TRUTH DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING ANYMORE SO WHY THE HELL NOT

1973 KELLOGG'S CARDS ARE PRETTY WILD. THE ONLY SET WITHOUT THE 3D EFFECT YET THEY ARE STILL IMMEDIATELY IDENTIFIABLE AS KELLOGG'S. YOU CAN ALMOST SEE THE LENTICULAR PLASTIC CRACKING OVER BOBBY'S FACE

RAY FOSSE 1970-SOMETHING HOSTESS CARD IMMACULATELY CUT AROUND THE DOTTED LINE. I WILL ADMIT IT, I DO NOT HAVE THE 70'S HOSTESS DESIGNS MEMORIZED YET. I'M NOT ELITE LIKE NIGHT OWL BUT THEN AGAIN WHO IS. I BELIEVE THE 1976 SET HAS A PROMINENT RED WHITE AND BLUE DESIGN BUT AFTER THAT IT GETS FUZZY. I'LL MAKE A GUESS, THIS IS... 1975?

(googles)

DAMN. WRONG. I AM TEH FAIL

HA! THIS ONE IS 1975 BECAUSE I JUST LOOKED IT UP. ANOTHER ONE WHERE THE SCISSORS STEERS WELL CLEAR OF THE DOTTED LINE, BUT THE CARD DID NOT AVOID THE TWINKIE GREASE

BUDDY'S LINE DID NOT SURVIVE THE SHEARS. A SHAME TOO BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE THE KID TRIED REALLY HARD BUT BLEW IT ON THAT TOP RIGHT CORNER. I CAN'T REMEMBER THE YEAR OF THIS SET EITHER. I'LL GUESS 1977? AND 1974 FOR FOSSE?

(googles)

DAMN DAMN DAMN! WRONG! WRONG!! HOSTESS DIDN'T EVEN MAKE CARDS IN 1974! ALL CREDIBILITY IS GONE, THIS IS NOW A TROLL ACCOUNT. ALL FOUR OF THESE CARDS WERE A QUARTER EACH, I DON'T KNOW YEARS BUT I KNOW DEALS

HERE'S A WEIRD ONE - 1974 FLEER BASEBALL'S WILDEST DAYS AND PLAYS CARD OF THE WRONG WAY RUNNER. THESE WERE INSERTED INTO PACKS OF FLEER LOGO PATCHES IN 1974 BUT HAVE A 1973 COPYRIGHT SPECIFICALLY TO CONFUSE ME. I AM TRYING TO BUILD A TYPE COLLECTION OF PRE-81 FLEER ODDBALLS AND THIS IS ONE I HAD NEVER SEEN BEFORE IN PERSON

IF I RECALL CORRECTLY THIS WAS 50 CENTS. THAT'S SUPER GOOD LUCK EVEN FINDING ONE LET ALONE AT THAT PRICE

I ATTACKED THE TRADITIONAL KELLOGG'S STACK NEXT AND CAME AWAY WITH A COUPLE NICE CHEAPOS. AS I MENTIONED BEFORE, CARDS ARE USUALLY PRICED RIGHT ON THE PENNY SLEEVE BUT IF THERE'S NO SLEEVE THEY'RE A QUARTER. THAT'S RIGHT, SMILIN' STEVE GARVEY WITH A BIG CRACK SLASHED AGROSS HIS NECK WAS MINE FOR A QUARTER. LOVE THEM CRACKS

FOUND ONE MORE UNSLEEVED 1980 KELLOGG'S CARD (I KNOW MY CEREAL CARD YEARS)((MOSTLY)) IN THE BOX OF CESAR CEDENO. OVER THE PAST COUPLE OF YEARS I'VE BEEN SNAGGING EVERY KELLOGG'S CARD I CAN GET MY HANDS ON AND I'VE GOT AN AMAZING POST ON THEM ALL RATTLING AROUND IN MY HEAD THAT WILL NEVER END UP ESCAPING TO AN ACTUAL POST. YOU'LL PROBABLY EVENTUALLY SEE SOME OF THE SCANS IF I DO END UP POSTING ON HERE DAILY LIKE A MANIAC BECAUSE I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE MASTODON

NEXT UP A 1976 BERT BLYLEVEN CARD. ONE OF MY GOALS FOR 2022 WAS TO COMPLETE MY 1976 TOPPS SET. I'VE DONE PRETTY WELL ON THAT FRONT SO FAR AND AM DOWN TO ABOUT EIGHT CARDS LEFT ON THE OL WANT LIST

BUT WAIT A MINUTE I ALREADY HAD BERT IN MY BINDER, WHAT GIVES

O-PEE-CHEE, BAY-BEE! 70S O-PEE-CHEE IS A BADLY NEGLECTED PART OF MY COLLECTION. THERE ARE A LOT OF YEARS I DON'T HAVE A SINGLE CARD FROM CANADIA. GOT A NICE HALL OF FAME TYPE CARD AND DIGGING THROUGH THE STACK HELPED ME FIND...

MISCUT HOSER REGGIE

THIS IS THE KIND OF BEAUTY THAT THOSE GEM MINT SLABBER HOARDERS WILL NEVER EXPERIENCE. GOTTA LOVE A BILINGUAL PHIL RIZZUTO GUM COMIC. I WANNA SAY BERT WAS 50 CENTS AND REGGIE WAS A BUCK AND A HALF. PRICELESS, I SAY

LAST UP - FOUR MOAR HOSTESS QUARTA CARDS. THESE ARE FROM 1977. I KNOW THIS DEFINITIVELY BECAUSE I AM SMART AND DIDN'T JUST LOOK IT UP THINKING THEY WERE FROM 1974 LIKE A FOOL

A FOOOL I SAY!

CREASED UP MIKE HARGROVE IN THE TEXAS BLUES. SCISSOR ACTION - TIGHT

RENNIE STENNETT WITH THE CRAZY ANGLE ON THAT HORIZON, SCISSOR ACTION - SUPER TIGHT

DAVE CASH WITH THE EXPOS AIRBRUSHING. SCISSOR ACTION - SUPER EXTRA TIGHT

AND FINALLY CREASEY HAL McRAE WITH THREE WELL CUT SIDES AND ONE BUTCHERED. ALL SLEEVELESS. FINAL TOTAL: 10 QUARTER CARDS FROM THE KELLOGG'S AND HOSTESS BOX, TWO FIFTY CENT ODDBALLS AND AND A RELATIVELY SPENDY REGGIE

PLUS THE FISH

THERE'S NO WAY THIS ALL COST A FIVER

THIS ENTIRE POST IS A LIE WHAT WAS I THINKING

THIS NEXT ONE WAS DEFINITELY NOT INCLUDED IN THE FIVE BUX TOTAL BECAUSE AFTER BUYING THE PREVIOUS STUFF I WENT AND RAIDED THE DIME AND QUARTER BOXES FROM THE NICE LADY AT THE BACK OF THE ROOM BUT STILL HAD JUST ENOUGH LEFT OVER TO SNAG THIS CARD OUT OF THE 3-FOR-$5 BOX AT THE VINTAGE TABLE 

I'M SLOWLY WORKING ON ALL THE 1993 UPPER DECK INSERT SETS BUT I'VE BEEN MILDLY OBSESSED WITH THE THEN AND NOW SETS SINCE THEY FIRST CAME OUT. THEY WERE HARD TO FIND AND EXPENSIVE AT THE TIME BUT ARE EASILY FOUND IN FIFTY CENT BOXES NOWADAYS. YOU STILL HAVE TO PAY A NOLAN TAX THOUGH, NO DISCOUNTS FROM BOOMERS FOR THE EXPRESS

IT SEEMED LIKE VINTAGE SELLER GUY ACQUIRED SOME DUDE'S 90S AND 00S INSERT COLLECTION AS THIS KIND OF STUFF IS NOT USALLY FOUND AT HIS TABLE. THERE WAS ACTUALLY A LOT OF REALLY GOOD INSERTS IN THAT BOX, LOTS OF POST-CAREER HALL OF FAMER CARDS AND INSERTS. AS I WALKED OUT I TOLD THE SELLER THAT I INTENDED TO GET MORE NEXT TIME

SADLY I HAVE NOT BEEN  BACK TO THE CARD SHOW SINCE. TOO BAD.

An Ultra-Pro observation, question and advice

Has anyone else noticed this? I picked up a couple of packages of Ultra-Pro pages at Target today so I could put my 2010 Ginter away properly. When I got home and opened them up, the pages seemed noticeably thinner than I'm used to. I'm not saying they are flimsy or anything, the plastic is still high quality and the seams are solid. they just seemed a little thinner and lighter.

I compared a page with an Ultra-Pro page in an older binder and the new ones do seem to be a little thinner and less rigid than the old ones. The only way I can think of to really test this hypothesis is to get 60 pages of the old sheets and stack them up next to 60 of the new sheets for comparison. Unfortunately all my old sheets are currently filled up with cards which is why I bought the new ones in the first place.

I personally think the change is good (if there is a change and I'm not going loopy). Thinner pages mean your binders are lighter and less bulky. I haven't gone so far as to trash a page doing stress tests but those Ultra-Pro seams are still sturdy. The best part is the plastic seems to be softer and more flexible so there's less danger of  nicking a card on the edge while putting it in the pocket. This is a real danger when slipping vintage cards into pages, I've nicked many a cardboard edge on pages before. Has Ultra-Pro managed to improve a hobby staple? If I'm not just hallucinating it after an overtime-laden week at work I think they have.

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On a related note, there's a blog out there doing a contest related to storing tobacco-sized mini cards. I've completely lost the link and I forgot to put it on the News Box so I unfortunately have no clue which blog is is right now. Long story short, the contest asked what was the best way to store tobacco-sized cards other than in plastic sheets. I didn't bother to enter the contest because the only way to properly store tobacco cards is in 15 pocket plastic sheets.

If you absolutely refuse to put them in sheets, Semi-rigid card savers will also work but that is still an awful lot of holder for a little card. You can also put them in a team bag sideways to store a bunch of them at a time, but then you have to figure out where to store those. Top loaders are useless, especially the tiny little tobacco-sized ones. Those mini size top loaders float all over the place when you put them in a box with the big boys. Any kind of plastic case sucks because the cards slide everywhere and bang on the sides. Same with small cardboard boxes. A real cigar box that once held actual cigars would be the only choice in boxes, but they're still going to slide around. I suppose you could get them slabbed at 10 bucks a pop if you had money to burn.

If you want to properly protect and display the tobacco minis you need pages. You can't just buy them at Wally World though. I got an e-mail today asking where to find the things so I gave this advice on finding them:

Check your local card shop. If they have a decent amount of supplies they'll likely have them. If not, ask the owner or manager and see if they will carry them. More often than not they will gladly stock supplies if a customer requests them and if not then maybe it's time to find a new shop.

No local card shop? No problem, just look online. Amazon has them and if you want to shop around or buy less than 100 pages at a time, just go a Google search for card pages 15 pocket. Easy peasy. 

That's all there is to it. Protect and display those minis!

(no Ultra-Pro isn't giving me kickbacks - I know what I like)

Tobacco use is addictive

This may very well be the greatest music video known to man.



I've been listening to Tobacco and Black Moth Super Rainbow all weekend. I'm mildly obsessed with these bands right now. I'm certain that my insane musical tastes are not shared with most of my readers so I'll give you a little Tobacco that you can like.

I chose Mr.Fielder Jones of the Chicago Americans because he's giving you the exact same look that you all are giving me after watching that video:

ಠ_ಠ

I don't care what you think, that video is completely wonderful and no one can sway my opinion on this matter. For all you who watched, here's the back of the card as a bonus. If you didn't watch  it then go away, you don't deserve to see how many subjects there are.

 Mmmmm mmmmm, Piedmont goodness.

WORLD WAR MONKEY

I've been following the blog Ephemera for a long time, and not just because they interviewed me a while back. I like neat old papery stuff. I saw this link pop up on my RSS feed and clicked.

FROM THAT VERY MOMENT MY LIFE CHANGED FOREVER

For this was not just any post, this was a post showcasing a trading card set.

ABOUT MONKEYS. MONKEY GENERALS. THAT FOUGHT IN MONKEYLAND WORLD WAR ONE. FEATURED ON FAUX EARLY TWENTIETH CENTURY TOBACCO CARDS. ONE OF THE MONKEYS IS NAMED PRINCE BRUNO VON SNIFFENFINGER. JUMPIN JESUS ON A POGO STICK HOW FREAKIN COOL IS THAT.

tHE SET IS A CREAT- *ahem* The set is a creation of illustrator Chet Phillips who has a pretty neat style. Gotta love the Tikis. Chet sent Ephemera a set to review and I was blown away. Feckin monkey general tobacco cards!!! But I've gone over that already... I clicked on Chet's site and found that he was selling sets on Etsy. I wasn't too familiar with Etsy, but basically it's an online shopping mall for handmade items. I clicked to look at the set, but figured that it's handmade art and stuff so it will probably cost more than I could afford. I clicked and saw that I could have my very own MONKEY FREAKIN GENERAL set for the low, low price of 5 smackers. Five bucks! Plus shipping! REASONABLE shipping, not EBay ripoff shipping! For bellicose turn of the century simians!

I had to get them.

I couldn't not get them.

It was like when I stumbled upon the near set of Dinosaur Attacks at Goodwill that one time. I was so dumbfounded that the Good Lord in his wisdom and mercy would place something so precious and wonderful in my path. It would be an affront to all that is good and cardworthy not to purchase them. So I did.

Oh dear Lord, that was a pain in the ass.

First I had to register for Etsy, with was a breeze. I was in, had my login and everything so I clicked to purchase. Then: THE HORROR.

PayPal.

I friggin HATE PayPal. I logged in tried to pay and #BZZZZT# my old credit card was in there. I tried to change it and #BZZZZT# this card is on file and cannot be used for security reasons. Of COURSE it's on file! It's my card! I used it last time! So now I'm getting panicky until I realized I could bypass PayPal altogether and use my credit card. So I did. #BZZZZT# You have a PayPal login, do you want to use PayPal?


NOIDONTWANTTOUSESTINKINPAYPAL! PAYPAL IS THE DEVIL! I WILL NEVER AGAIN USE PAYPAL AS LONG AS I LIVE! IF PAYPAL INFILTRATES THE FEDERAL RESERVE AND MAKES PAYPAL THE ONE AND ONLY METHOD OF PAYMENT IN THE ENTIRE WORLD AND YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE PAYPAL MARK OF THE BEAST TATTOOED ON YOUR FOREHEAD TO FUNCTION IN CIVILIZED SOCIETY I WILL GO COMPLETELY OFF THE GRID LIVE OFF OF GRUBS AND BERRIES AND FORM AN UNDERGROUND REBELLION TO OVERTHROW THE EVIL THAT IS PAYFREAKINGPAL!!!!! YOU WON'T LET ME USE MY OWN GODDAMN CREDIT CARD ANYWAY SO IT'S KIND OF IMPOSSIBLE TO USE PAYPAL AT THE MOMENT!
AAAAAAHHHHH! I JUST WANNA BUY MONKEYCARDS!

(I sure am yelly today)

So, no, I didn't use PayPal (whew) and the order appears to have gone through. Once I have warlord monkeys in my hands it will all have been worth it. Once they arrive I'll show off my favorite monkey. In the meantime you can check out prints of the monkeys in question, or if monkeys aren't your thing (although I can't see why anyone wouldn't like monkeys) there's also plenty of other stuff to look through like this Doggie and Kitty Lucha Libre Wrestling set.

But for me, it's all about the monkeys.

FIGHTIN' MONKEYS!

YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

Nifty Tobacco Card Stuff

I found this via For Love of the Cards. We all know what a T206 or an Allen & Ginter or a Turkey Red tobacco card looks like. The recent rash of retro sets have made sure of that even if you've never seen an original tobacco card in your life. Now how about the packs they came in? Ever seen one of those? A new website by Jon Canfield has a ton of photos of original cigarette packs that held the cards that we covet today. Think 1887 Gypsy Queen cards are rare? The boxes are far, far more rare. Some of the boxes look a whole lot better than the cards that were inside them. This kind of thing isn't for everyone, but it's a neat way to kill an hour looking at some obscure card history.