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Saturday, April 26, 2008

Sticky Saturday - My Heart's Not In It Edition

I should have posted this sticker this morning. Back where there was still hope and light and laughter in the world. Back before the cold cruel hand of reality reached right into my chest, ripped out my heart and squeezed it until it was hard and black and dry as a bone. Here's a sticker from my ex-team the Falcons.

GLENN DORSEY WAS RIGHT THERE!!!! JUST WAITING FOR US TO PICK HIM!!!!!! WE COULD HAVE HAD AN ANCHOR ON THAT LINE FOR A DECADE BUT NOOOOOOOO... ARTHUR BLANK HAD TO STICK HIS BIG FAT NOSE IN HIS GM'S BUSINESS AGAIN!!! AAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH

Sorry. You're just here for the stickers. This is a sticker. It's red. Red as the blood that are my tears. There's a bird on it. A bird with a sharp beak. Just like the beak of the vulture who pecks out and devours the liver of Promethius each and every day. This bird too pecks at my very soul. Black as death, it casts a shadow upon my existence. A shadow that smothers and crushes me. Here's the back of the card.

It's a puzzle. Just like I puzzle over why I've put up with a team that consistently ignores the foundations of a successful football team in favor of flashy players they can market. Who would have thought that winning a coin flip would be just another calamity in a long list of disasters that have befallen this team? Ugh. Welcome to the Matt Ryan era, exactly the same as all the other loser eras this team has gone through.

No more falcon stickers thankfully. We'll be back to Braves next week. They may have lost 8 games by one run this year, but at least they know how to draft.

5 comments:

Fleerfan said...

I never knew a sticker could represent such pain and sorrow. The back of the sticker forms a puzzle of Super Bowl XIII - unfortunately a destination that the Falcons will not be headed towards anytime soon.

NMboxer said...

Gosh. We hope baseball-dayf comes back soon all rested and cheery and leaves his dark side in a rifled-through retail box of football cards.

ernest said...

if it's any consolation, at least you're not a toronto maple leaf fan. i believe that would be the next step down in Dante's inferno.

Russ said...

I was lamenting the loss of Dorsey until Matt Ryan started talking. As much as I don't think he'll be the 2nd coming of Montana (but here's hoping right?) I think it goes a long way for him to be saying that he's excited to be in ATL and glad to be playing for them. He's the complete Anti-Vick and after the beating that the team and the fans took last year not only in losses but mentally, emotionally and, for the players, physically that right now, someone with at least a small chance to take the franchise in a different direction and is excited about it is enough for me.

dayf said...

Matt Ryan is happy to be here because that's 7 to 10 million extra dollars in his pocket.

NFL teams cannot win without a solid offensive and defensive line. It can't be done. The Falcons had a chance to get an anchor on both lines (they got the O-Line part right, but it was too late) and they chose to go with the marketing spiel instead.

It's a new era! We don't have to worry about mean ol' Mr Vick anymore! It's morning in Atlanta! Buy a jersey and season tickets quick! MEH.

This was a chance for the Falcons to prove that they weren't the same ol' inept Falcons. They proved they were the same ol' inept Falcons. I don't have enough time in my life to invest in a loser team any more.

4 years from now when we still have a crappy defense, a losing record and the second coming of David Carr getting killed because we kept passing up tackles in favor of a wide receiver to 'give him weapons', we'll be back at the exact same point we are now. I'm done with them, let 'em move to L.A. for all I care.