The Dinosaur Attacks! set was all about humans becoming lizard food, but Topps managed to justify its existence my filling it full of educational facts about dinosaurs. Little tidbits were sprinkled throughout the text on the cards but the stickers were where the real science was. Oh sure the fronts were full of dripping blood of course* but the backs may as well have been a science book. Here's an example from my favorite sticker, the parasaurolophis.
The TRUTH about pairuhsoralophugus or however that's pronounced. Oh wait, there's a pronunciation guide right there! The back is chock full of facts, an enterprising young collector might be able to cobble together a report for class with a set of these. Thank goodness with all the needless slaughter going on we have a nice gentle creature here. A North American herbivore who plays the trombone! When I was in college, I knew a guy in a band who was just like that and he didn't go on killing sprees much at all. Let's take a look at the front.
Good looking card, this. The orange and yellow borders are attractive, it's very colorful and the art is top notch. It looks like Jurassic Park might have ganked the font too! I'd like to know who did the artwork, it's very good. The gentle plant eater looks positively cute with its crest and little smile and - hey what's it holding?
A baby carriage? What on earth would a dinosaur be doing with a baby carriaOHMYGAWDNO
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! IT ATED TEH BABY!!!!!!!!!!!
BAD PARASAUROLOPHUS!!! VERY VERY BAD! BABIES ARE NOT VEGAN!
I'm so sorry folks....... I... we won't be doing this again. I'm very sorry. Back to Fleer stickers next week I promise. I hope that parasaurolophus gets indigestion.
* Body count on the sticker cards:
2 decapitations
2 impalements
1 bitten in half
1 blunt trauma
1 claw
3 squished
3 devoured
1 dumb trachodon who ate a lamp post
1 comment:
I'd start the dead baby jokes if I had less taste and class
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