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Sunday, December 23, 2018

ON THE ELEVENTH DAY OF CARDMAS

SPENT A HAPPY FESTIVUS AT A FAMILY GATHERING

TIME FOR THE AIRING OF GRIEVENCES

NO! TIME TO OPEN PACK(S)

ALL THE 11-CARD PACKS I FOUND WERE BORING AF SO YOU GET TWO TODAY


2002 DYNAMIC FORCES BATTLE OF THE PLANETS

HISTORY LESSON: SCIENCE NINJA TEAM GATCHAMAN IS AN ANIME AS OLD AS I AM. IT'S ABOUT FIVE FEISTY TEENS WHO COSPLAY AS BIRDS AND FLY AROUND IN A SPACESHIP THAT LITERALLY BURSTS INTO FLAMES WHEN AN EXTREMELY CAMP EVILDOER STARTS SOME SHIT

IN 1978 SANDY FRANK CHOPPED UP THE ORIGINAL SERIES, DUBBED IT INTO ENGLISH, ADDED AN R2D2 RIPOFF FOR SOME NEEDLESS COMEDY SEGMENTS AND SLAPPED IT INTO SYNDICATION. THIS IS THE VERSION I WATCHED ON TBS AND IS THE ONLY OFFICIAL CANON VERSION EVER AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED

IN 2002 TOP COW COMICS DID A TWELVE ISSUE RUN BASED ON THE SERIES PLUS SOME ONE-OFFS AND CROSSOVERS. IT'S THE COMIC THAT GOT ME BACK INTO READING NEW COMICS, AND AS A RESULT I HAVE A BIG PILE OF EARLY '00S ISSUES OF STUFF I NEVER WANT TO READ AGAIN. THE SERIES ENDED ON A CLIFFHANGER ON ISSUE 12 AND WAS CANCELLED DUE TO LOW SALES. BECAUSE OF COURSE IT WAS

THIS PACK OF CARDS CAME OUT ABOUT THE SAME TIME AS THE COMIC BUT SEEMS TO BE MORE ABOUT THE TV SHOW THAN THE COMIC ALTHOUGH COMIC ARTISTS ARE INVOLVED. I ONLY BOUGHT ONE PACK BECAUSE CHEAP AND I SEEM TO BE MISSING EXACTLY ONE ISSUE FROM THE COMPLETE COMIC RUN TOO AND I REGRET EVERYTHING


GREAT TO GET THE TITLE CARD IN THE FIRST PACK OPENED. LEFT TO RIGHT, THE CHARACTERS:

TINY - DRESSES AS AN OWL, PILOTS THE EXPLODEY SHIP. THE COOLEST OF THEM ALL AND THE ONE I PRETENDED I WAS WHEN I PLAYED G-FORCE AT RECESS. I STILL WANT A NUMBER 5 T-SHIRT

PRINCESS - DRESSES AS A SWAN, THE GIRL. BEST BIRD NINJA WHO ISN'T A PILOT, HAS A BAD ASS MOTORCYCLE

MARK - DRESSES AS AN EAGLE? FALCON MAYBE, THE LEADER. DAD LEFT FOR SPACE SMOKES AND NEVER CAME BACK AND NOW HE'S ANGSTY

JASON - DRESSES AS WHICHEVER BIRD OF PREY MARK ISN'T, THE BAD BOY. TROUBLEMAKER, RACES AROUND IN A FAST CAR AND REBELS AGAINST THE MAN

KEYOP - DRESSES AS SOME TINY BIRD I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH ALL THE BIRDS, THE SNEAKY LITTLE BROTHER. HAD A FUCKED UP VOICE AND MIGHT BE AN ALIEN OR ANDROID

ZOLTAR - THE ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS EVIL LEADER OF SPECTRA WHO SIMULTANEOUSLY FASCINATED ME AND SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME WHEN I WAS A KID. HAS A HOT SISTER

WHAT IN SAM HELL IS THAT DRAWING OF PRINCESS ON THE BACK. LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING THAT JUST GOT BANNED FROM TUMBLR


SPACE TERRAPIN! THE EVIL MONSTER ROBOT FROM THE FIRST EPISODE. I REMEMBER WATCHING THIS AND SEEING THE MONSTER FUCK UP A SHIP AND THERE WAS A SCENE WHERE THE PASSENGERS WERE IN THE OCEAN SCREAMING AND THERE WAS THIS BABY SPLASHING AROUND SEEMINGLY PERPLEXED BY THESE EVENTS AND MY THOUGHTS WERE HOLY SHIT THIS SHOW JUST DROWNED A BABY. JAPANESE CARTOONS WERE FUCKING HARD CORE


STEALTH CASEY KASEM CARD. THIS CARD MADE ME LOOK UP THE VOICE ACTORS AND HOLY FUCKING SHIT KEYOP WAS VOICED BY ALAN YOUNG. NOW I'M EVEN MORE PISSED BY THE SUBSEQUENT RE-DUBBING THAT HAD KEYOP SPEAKING WITHOUT THE STUTTER. THEY CHANGED ALL THE NAMES TOO, WHAT THE ASS


MORE MARK AND HIS TRAGIC BACKSTORY. DEADBEAT DAD COLONEL CRONUS IS A JERK


WHIRLWIND PYRAMID IS BOTH LUDICROUS AND AWESOME. JUMP UP ON EACH OTHER'S SHOULDERS LIKE A CHEERLEADER SQUAD AND THEN SPIN AROUND AND KICK PEOPLE'S ASSES. HOW DOES PHYSICS EVEN WORK


FRICKIN' MARK HOT PACK. ARE TINY AND PRINCESS EVEN IN THIS SET. TURNS OUT HE IS AN EAGLE ALTHOUGH I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS KEN CHARACTER


BAD GUYS! AT LEAST TINY AND PRINCESS GOT A COUPLE CAMEOS IN THE MARK PACK. IT AMUSES ME THAT THE HENCHMEN OF THE SERIES ARE ALL DRESSED AS BLUE-GREEN KITTYCATS WITH MULLETS

I NEED A SET OF THIS. SHOULDA BOUGHT MORE NON-SPORTS INSTEAD OF ODDBALL FLEER AND DONRUSS ONE-OFF SETS IN THE EARLY 00S. WILL TRADE PATCHWORKS AND THROWBACK THREADS FOR KEYOPS

TIME TO SHIFT GEARS


2017 DONRUSS DOLLAR TREE FUN SIZE PACK

KYLE SCHWARBER, PACK COVER BOY. THIS WAS A FATHER'S DAY GIFT IF I AM NOT MISTAKEN


THE 1990 DONRUSS SET COULD HAVE LOOKED GOOD.
IT COULD HAVE LOOOKED GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD I SHOUT TO THE HEAVENS

GOD DOES NOT LISTEN


THE DONRUSS DESIGNS THUS FAR HAVE BEEN AN ODD MASH OF 80S DESIGNS REMIXED TO LOOK LIKE 80S DESIGNS CREATED BY SOMEONE WHOSE DAD WAS BORN IN THE 80S. IT'S KIND OF THE VAPORWAVE OF CARD DESIGN, NOSTALGIC BUT SURREAL


FAB FIVE FREDDIE ON AN '83 DESIGN. EVERYTHING IS BEAUTIFUL


AND THE BACK

EVERYTHING IS AWFUL


IS IT REALLY A MAX SCHERZER CARD IF ONLY ONE EYE IS VISIBLE. I FEEL CHEATED SOMEHOW







ALMOST DONE, ONE MORE OF THESE MY PLUMBERS SMOKIN' DAT HERB

2 comments:

Fuji said...

Battle of the Planets f'n rules! I loved that cartoon back in the day. I think the only cartoon I enjoyed more was Star Blazers.

BaseSetCalling said...

just don't ever tell the older Hippies that a) there is a Space Terrapin, and b) that it is Evil

they would be, like, bummed