Oh. My. God.

Thanks to a comment in a recent post it finally dawned on me that one of my absolute favorite sets of 2008 has Ken Griffey Jr. plastered all over it.

The pain... the pain...

The Depths To Which We Have Sunk

If it's gotten so bad that we need to turn to Julian Tavarez to save the bullpen, then it's time to fire Frank and Bobby, punch Ted Turner in the junk for selling to AOL and trade everybody. And I mean everybody. EVERYBODY. This ruins my memory of watching him cry after game 6 of the 1995 World Series. Yes, one of my fondest memories is of watching a grown man cry. I'm a cruel inhuman monster, so what else is new. The Brewers picked up CC, The Cubs just got Harden and the best we can do is Tavarez. Oy.


On a completely unrelated note, when the hell did Homer The Brave turn into a bootleg Mr. Met?? I... I can feel only shame. Bring back Chief Noc-A-Homa and the Bleacher Creature!!!

Update: Tavarez got in the game tonight with the Braves up 9-1 in the ninth. The results:

Walk
Single
Single
Fielder's Choice - 2 runs score
Walk

in other words:

PYEWP.

Today hasn't been completely terrible though, the Braves massacred the Dodgers, gained a game back on the Phading Phillies and the Teixeira rumor mill apparently includes Kevin Youkilis. I'd trade Twenty Million Tex straight up for Youk right this second. Hell, I'd throw in Lillibridge and Acosta too to get that deal done. They'd have to coin a new word to describe my reaction to that, 'cause pywep wouldn't cut it.

OHDEARGODNOOOOOOO

Chipper got hit in the face by a foul ball that clanged off the batting cage before tonight's game in Anaheim. He got scratched from the game and if it's serious this will the third straight year he's been felled by a goofy-ass freak accident. Chipper's caught Griffey Jr. disease or something.

To add insult to injury, our bullpen is so dysfunctional that Jorge Julio seems like a legitimate option. This is gonna be a loooooong year.

Throwback Day at Wrigley

Yeah! Afternoon baseball! Getaway day! And the teams are wearing throwback uniforms!

The hometown Cubbies were wearing their uniform style from the 50's with the blue hat and logo that makes you do a doubletake thinking it's a Reds cap every time you see it!

The Bravos were wearing their old style Boston unis with the black tomahawk and headdress logo on the sleeve because if they wore their Milwaukee unis a brawl might have broken out in ChiTown!

And best of all, the Braves played today just like they have been playing for the past week! Exactly like the 1935 Braves, one of the worst teams in the history of the game! Swept by the stinkin' rotten Cubs!

Someone please shoot me!

In the face!

With a Bazooka!

It's appropriate that we're playing the Angels next series 'cause we're dead.

No Base

Reader Brian sent me this one... Check out the seven reasons to buy Superlative Hockey by In the Game. Particularly number 7.

There are NO base cards in Superlative^TM Hockey.

Oh goody.

The packs probably run a grand each, but if there's no cards in a pack of cards that changes everything. I'll be sure to pick up a few cases now.

Also Chris Harris braves the horrors of Powerpoint to give us the scoop on 2008 Goudey.

Long story short, 30 more short prints, short prints are harder to get, mini cards are now a scarce parallel and there are more fucking goddamn piece of shit useless pile of crap President card garbage in the base set.

Going back to bed.

Never should have gotten up in the first place.

GAAAAAH

Ryan Zimmerman ruins us with a walk off after LoDookie's passed ball ties it up in the ninth. Argh.

Since I'm an angry white boy tormented by Zimmerman, Here's some Invader Zim clips set to Angry White Boy Polka by Weird Al Yankovic.


Curse you, Poop Dawg! Curse yoooooooooooou!

2008 Hertiage - Second Box Break

AKA "The Debacle". Here's the results of my second box break, mercifully all in one post. I've listed each pack with the best pull and the number of cards I needed for the set out of each below.

Pack 1 - C5 Dontrelle Willis Chrome #0800/1959 and the rest are doubles.
Pack 2 - None.
Pack 3 - 451 Josh Anderson SP and nothing else.
Pack 4 - nothin' at all.
Pack 5 - NAP14 Jimmy Rollins New Age Performer and zippo.
Pack 6 - 452 Melvin's Outfield Trio and bupkis.
Pack 7 - TN2 Ernie Banks & Alex Rodriguez and I feel sick.
Pack 8 - C26 Kelvim Escobar #0756/1959. Nothing else.

Every single base and black card in the first 8 packs I had already pulled in the first box. All of them. Considering I only bought a second box at the same time as the first so I could maybe get better collation to help complete the set, this is pretty discouraging.

Pack 9 - NAP5 David Wright and NAP1 Magglio Ordonez. 3 for the set, J. Kent, Braves Team and R. Sexson

I finally break through with three cards I need and a black card I don't have. Plus Topps gave me an extra New age Performer for my troubles. Seeing as I was shorted a card in the last box, I think I deserve it.

Pack 10 - C44 John Smoltz chrome #1351/1959 and none for the set.

More dupes, but I did get a sweet Smoltzie chrome card and a Pedro Martinez black back I didn't have.

Pack 11 - 453 Braden Looper SP, none for the set, one black back of Kevin Kouzmanoff.
Pack 12 - Nothin. I needed the Austin Kearns black back at least.
Pack 13 - 484 Brian Roberts All Star SP and a Bill Hall black back.
Pack 14 - Buddy freakin Holly Insert, Dan Giese black back.

Good news: I'm getting short prints and back backs I don't have at least. Bad news: EVEN THE INSERT IS ONE I ALREADY HAVE! Aaaaaaarrgh. And a crappy insert at that.

Pack 15 - 348 Dan Uggla SP, another useless black back.
Pack 16 - Carlos Delgado bat relic.

This box has officially gone from "nightmare" to "Lovecraftian nightmare".

Pack 17 - 472 Manny Corpas SP, 5 cards for the set and a black back.

Best pack in the box by far. 9 cards in the pack, 5 cards for the set, a short print and a black back. The two duplicates in the pack were Jeff Francoeur and Hanley Ramirez so even that's good. Maybe the third row in the box will do me right.

Pack 18 - TN10 Don Drysdale & Jake Peavy Then & Now and another black back.

Well, so much for the "no more doubles" theory.

Pack 19 - C8 Felix Hernandez refractor 554/559, black back parallel and 5 cards for the set including Tim Hudson.

Ok, that's better. Great pack, Huddy, King Felix Refractor and a Prince Fielder. Let's keep this up.

Pack 20 - C25 Jimmy Rollins Chrome #1353/1959, 5 more plus a black for the set.
Pack 21 - 486 Mike Lowell All Star SP, 4 more and a black back.
Pack 22 - BF8 Mickey Mantle Flashbacks, 4 more and a black back.

We're in a groove now. too bad the other two rows couldn't be like this one.

Pack 23 - NF10 Freakin' penguins! and 4 more plus a black back.
Pack 24 470 Lenny DiNardo SP and one stinking black back.

Ugh, got hosed on the last pack. I also hate the News Flashback set. 1959 was too damn boring for such an insert set. Well, here's the sad totals:

Base: 30 needed, 146 total
Black: 15 needed, 24 total (1:1)
SP: 8 - Dan Uggla, Josh Anderson, Melvin's Outfield Trio, Braden Looper,Lenny DiNardo, Manny Corpas, Brian Roberts All Star, Mike Lowell All Star (1:3)
Chrome: 4 - Dontrelle Willis, Kelvim Escobar, John Smoltz, Jimmy Rollins (1:8)
Chrome Refractor 1 - Felix Hernandez (1:29)
Then & Now: 2 - Banks & A-Rod, Drysdale & Peavy (1:15)
New Age Performer: 3 - Magglio Ordonez, David Wright, Jimmy Rollins (1:15)
Flashbacks: 1 - Mickey Mantle (1:12)
Crap Flashbacks: 2 - Buddy Holly (already had), Antarctica (1:12)
Hit: CC-CD Carlos Delgado Clubhouse Collection bat relic (Group C - 1:90)

Total cards in the box: 192
Duplicates from the first box: 126
Dupes: 66%

I'll be the first one to admit if I had opened this box first instead of second I would be much happier with these two boxes. The Chipper Jones, autograph and buy back cards would have made up for the fact that two thirds of the box were straight-up doubles. This was not a bad box per se, it's just that I paired it up with the worst box I could find. There were no duplicates in the box, I got the 8 SPs, there were 5 chromes including a refractor, I beat the odds and got 14 inserts and the hit was not very good, but it wasn't terrible either. It's just that Murphy's law did me in, I bought the box specifically to help me build a set and I got a stack of doubles big enough to choke a mule for my efforts. It would be a little easier to swallow had box prices not jumped fifteen bucks since the release. Now I have under half the set, no more money for more Hobby boxes and I'm looking at the prospect of trying to build a set through retail wax. Let me tell ya folks, I've been doing that since 2001 and I have exactly zero complete sets to show for it.

Between this box and the super short print shocker, it's been pretty disappointing on the Heritage front so far. Will I keep trying? Sure, I love this stuff. Thankfully, the retail packs have a surprise in them that might help me forget my hobby box blues. (just one more Heritage post, folks, and I'll lay off for a while)

RATFARTS!!!

2008 Topps Baseball is pushed until Friday.

AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH

I just confirmed it with the local hobby shop, they actually got the e-mail from Topps this morning. Guhhh. Screw it, I'm going anyway. UPS might have gotten a stray box by mistake. Please let it all be a big mistake!

My guess is that the reason for the delay is one of three things:

1) Extra time and care put into the Photoshopping of failed Politicians.

2) Olbermann couldn't open the first pack on Countdown due to Super Tuesday.

3) Lawyers scrambling to get image rights after they discover the Japanese Sidd Finch, Kazuo "Uzi" Uzuki,,signed his Topps contract with the Japanese kanji for "Eisner is totally Gay".

Oh jeez, I think I'm going through DT's... I NEED MY FIX DAMMIT. This blog isn't titled Cardboard Junkie for nothin, you know.

Oh No, Not Again

Len Pasquarelli is reporting that the Falcons are interested in USC coach Pete Carroll for their head coach opening. Pete's apparently actually interested in the job! Oh Goody! Just what this franchise needs, another Big Splash From Arthur B.! It's the best of both worlds, a failed retread NFL coach and a college coach looking to jump for more money! Plus Pete's willingness to dump a dream college job that he can pretty much have for life for about two and a half years in the trainwreckiest trainwreck of a franchise ever which happens to have a dysfunctional roster at the moment surely indicates great intelligence and mental stability! Sign Pete, draft a wide receiver in the first round and as soon as Vick gets out of rehab WE'LL GO ALL THE WAY, BABY! WOOOOHOOOOO!!!!

I am this close to becoming a Titans fan, I swear to God....

2009 is looking bleak

I just saw this from MLB Trade Rumors about a couple of future Braves free agents.

Teixeira is a Scott Boras client, and he seems primed to mash 40 homers and 120 ribbies in his contract year. I think we're talking seven years, $150MM here.

Yipe. Here's another one about Rafael Soriano:

Could be a $9-10MM guy if he has a big year and saves 35 for the Braves.

Oh goody. The Braves don't want to pony up that for a starter, let alone a reliever. Looks like Mike Gonzalez is the '09 closer. But wait, here's the good part...

If the Braves lose Soriano and Teixeira, at least they'll get some sweet draft picks.

Oy, gevalt. That's nice, but Andruw Jones taught us that a) even if they suck eggs in '08 they'll still get paid and b) you don't get draft picks if the team doesn't offer arbitration. I'm feeling a little sick. Shouldn't spring training at least start before I should have the Feeling of Impending Doom about my favorite team?