The worst NFL picks ever

Waxaholic has an NFL Playoff contest going on, so get over there and enter! II don't care if you know nothing about football, you can't be worse at picking games than me. I always overthink it and screw it up. The Cardinals suck! They won't get past the first round. The Steelers can't win without Cowher! Yeah, um. This year I turned off my mind and let instinct take over. Which basically means if I ever have to rely on my instincts for survival I am dead. Dear Gawd these picks are awful. But I have a perfectly logical reason for each and every one of them.

Behold:

BAD PICKS

WILDCARD ROUND:

Ravens over Patsies

Yeah, that's a Browns card, because they are the Browns. Art Modell is the devil. Patriots ain't winnin nothin without Wes Welker anyway.

Iggles over Pokes

Ok, so I'm just poking Canuck with this one.

Kittens over J-E-T-S JETSJETSJETS

Bengals are home and didn't care last week. The Jets are almost as cursed of a team as Cinci.

Cards over Pack

I'd rather have one good card over a pack any day.

DIVISIONAL ROUND

Tabbys over Chokin' Chargers

I'LL win a Super Bowl before Norv Turner.

WhoDats over Iggles

Because it will crush Tom Benson's dancing spirit more to lose in the Super Bowl.

Mannings over Nevermores

Dude, it's Peyton. Peyton isn't losing his opening game.

Cards over Favres

'Cause I'm goddamn sick of the Vikings that's why.

CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIPS

Puddy Tats over Mannings

At this point I realized that my picks were rubbish and decided to shoot the moon.

Ain'ts over Cards

Every team in the NFC South has been in the Super Bowl except the Saints so it's their turn. Besides, the Cardinals are not repeating as NFC Champs. The Lions have a better chance of winning it all next year.

SUPA BOWEL:

Cincinnatuh Bungles 24
New Awlins Saints 23

'Cause that card rocks.

Pick 'em Contest

Games are on so the contest is closed.

Here are the contestants and their picks:

mmosley said...

Navy over Duke
Clemson over NCSU
ECU over Tulane
USC over Ohio St
Georgia over SC
Vandy over Rice

Dallas by 10

Russ said...

Illinois over Louisiana-Layfayette
Missouri over Nevada
Florida State over Chattanooga
Alabama over WKU
Texas Tech over SMU
Mississippi over Samford

Dallas by 14

Michel said...

Cincinnati Bengals over Tennessee Titans.
Pittsburgh Steelers over Cleveland Browns.
KC Chiefs over Oakland Raiders.
Minnesota Vikings over Indianapolis Colts.
NY Jets over NE Patriots.
TB Buccaneers over Atlanta Falcons (ed. note - You're just trying to get on my good side)

Dallas by 10

AdamE said...

Steelers over Browns
Giants over St Louis
Penn State over Syracuse
Flordia State over Chattanooga
USC over Ohio State
Wiscinsin over Fresno State

Dallas 3

aybayz said...

Missouri over Nevada
Georgia over South Carolina
Auburn over Mississippi St.
Oklahoma over Washington
LSU over N. Texas

Dallas by 7

Alec said...

Michigan over Notre Dame
Ohio State over USC
South Florida over Kansas
Wisconsin over Fresno State
Toledo over Eastern Michigan
Cleveland over Pittsburgh

Dallas by 9

thehamiltonian said...

My 6 winners:
Navy
Missouri
Penn State
Georgia
Oklahoma
New York Giants

Dallas by 5

Alex said...

Illinois over Louisiana Lafayette
Minnesota over Montana State
Michigan St over Fla Atlantic
Tennesee over UAB
Missouri over Nevada
Florida St over Chattanooga

Philly by 2

Matt said...

Nebraska over New Mexico State
Penn State over Syracuse
Tennessee over Alabama-Birmingham
Utah over Utah State
Oklahoma over Washington
Cal over Maryland

Philadelphia by 7

madding said...

Oregon over Purdue
LSU over North Texas
Oklahoma over Washington
Utah over Utah State
Penn State over Syracuse
Missouri over Nevada

Philadelphia by 7

Brian said...

AZ Cardinals over Miami Dolphins
NY Giants over STL Rams
Pitts Steelers over Cleve Browns
NO Saints over Wash Redskins
Stl Seahawks over SF 49ers
Cinci Bengals over Tenn Titans

Dallas by 12

Captain Canuck said...

Seattle over San Fran
Giants over St Lou
Dallas over Philly
Tennessee over UAB
Florida St over Chattanooga
Wisconsin over Fresno St

Dallas 34-24

GO COWBOYS!!!!

SamDaMan said...

Navy over Duke
Clemson over NC State
Georgia over South Carolina
Hawaii over Oregon State
Utah over Utah State
Missouri over Nevada

Dallas by 6

deal said...

South Carolina - No Just Kidding (ed. note - you suck)

Penn State over the Orange
Georgia over South Carolina
USC over Ohio St
Temple Over Buffalo (bet I am the only one of them)
Minnesota Vikings over Colts
LSU over North Texas

Eagles by 27

TheJaw said...

Illinois over Louisiana-Lafeyette
Oklahoma over Washington State
Missouri over Nevada
LSU over North Texas
Penn State over Syracuse
Texas Tech over Southern Methodist

Dallas by 7

Krista said...

Illinois over UL Lafayette
Missouri over Nevada
Tennessee over Alabama-Birmingham
Alabama over Western Kentucky
Texas Tech over Southern Methodist
LSU over North Texas

Dallas by 10

Interesting mix of picks.

Good luck, everybody...

Saturday Night Update: Alex has set the bar at 6. Shoot me an e-mail, Alex, and tell me your mailing address and favorite football team so I can get the package ready. Everyone else needs to sweep their picks and hope for the tiebreaker. Navy wiped out a lot of you. Who would have thought Duke could win a game? I have major respect for the All-NFL pickers. there were a lot of cupcakes on the schedule this week in college ball, and you went for the much, much tougher choices. I hate the NFL this year so you won't get any breaks from me, but major respect to you all.