I have no idea how to create pages but I'll figure it out eventually godammit

Sunday, May 12, 2019

NON-SPORT FRANKENSET - CARD #2

THE SCANNER IS EVEN MORE BROKEN THAN IT WAS BEFORE AND I'M VERY UPSET ABOUT IT BUT THE SHOW MUST GO ON

I'VE SCANNED THE ENTIRETY OF THE NON-SPORTS FRANKENSET SO I'M GOOD FOR 43 MORE POSTS AT LEAST. CARD 1 IS HERE IF YOU MISSED IT ALTHOUGH I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU MISSED IT BECAUSE IT'S THE SAME 6 GUYS READING MY POSTS ALONG WITH A HANDFUL OF MARKETERS FROM ABU DHABI, KYIV AND KUALA LUMPUR. HELLO MY INTERNATIONAL READER FRIENDS!

CARD #2 IS A SIGNIFICANT ONE FOR THE BLOG, LET'S GET GOING

2 1992 Eclipse Famous Comic Book Creators - Wally Wood


WALLY WOOD IS THE BEST. HE WORKED WITH EVERYBODY. HE CREATED COMICS IN EVERY GENRE. EC, MARVEL, DC, PLAYBOY, UNDERGROUND COMIX. WORKED WITH EISNER, KURTZMAN, FRAZETTA, KIRBY, FEIFFER, DITKO, SPIEGELMAN. WAS ONE OF THE ORIGINAL GANG OF IDIOTS ON MAD. CREATED THE 22 PANELS THAT ALWAYS WORK WHICH IS BASICALLY A MASTER'S DEGREE FOR COMICS. HE CREATED TRADING CARDS FOR WOODY GELLMAN INCLUDING SOME DESIGNS FOR MARS ATTACKS. OH FORGET IT, I'LL BE TYPING ALL NIGHT IF I TRY TO EXPLAIN THE AWESOMENESS OF WALLY. JUST READ THIS BUT DON'T CLICK ON IT AT WORK BECAUSE BOOBIES INCLUDING THE INFAMOUS DISNEYLAND MEMORIAL ORGY, THE GRAT GRANDPAPPY OF RULE 34.


ECLIPSE WAS A COMIC BOOK PUBLISHER FROM THE LATE 70S TO EARLY 90S. THEY WERE A VERY INNOVATIVE COMPANY ONE OF THE BEST OF THE INDIE PUBLISHERS. THEY OFFERED OWNERSHIP RIGHTS TO CREATORS, PARTNERED WITH VIZ TO IMPORT MANGA TO THE US AND PUBLISHED GRAPHIC NOVELS BACK BEFORE THESE PRACTICES WERE A THING. THEY ALSO WERE ONE OF THE FIRST TO CREATE TRADING CARD SETS, OFTEN HORRIBLE AND SCANDALOUS TRADING CARD SETS. BUT ALSO MANY SUPER COOL SETS LIKE THE STARS OF THE NEGRO LEAGUES WITH ART BY MARK CHIARELLO. THEY ALSO MIGHT HAVE USED THE TEXT ON THE BACK OF THIS SET TO PROMOTE THEIR OWN WORK AS YOU CAN SEE FROM THE BACK OF THIS CARD. A FLOOD THAT WIPED OUT THEIR BACK STOCK AND THE 90S COMIC CRASH PUT THEM OUT OF BUSINESS BUT CRYSTALLIZED THEM AS THE ESSENTIAL 80S INDIE PUBLISHER. IF YOU'RE EVER HUNTING FOR CHEAP COMICS AND FIND ANYTHING FROM ECLIPSE YOU'LL PROBABLY HAVE A GOOD TIME.

THE FIRST RULE OF CINEMA IS SHOW DON'T TELL. THIS IS A SHITTY BLOG ABOUT WORTHLESS TRADING CARDS BUT THE RULE STILL FITS. LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT SOME WOOD GOODNESS


EC COMICS ARE THE BEST JUST LIKE WALLY WOOD IS THE BEST. HERE'S A WEIRD SCIENCE COVER BY WALLY, CHECK OUT THAT SPACE MONSTER. LOOKS LIKE THE LOVE CHILD OF A MARS ATTACKS ALIEN AND CTHULHU. THIS IS A GLADSTONE REPRINT OF WEIRD SCIENCE #16 AND WEIRD FANTASY #17. IN MY OPINION THE GLADSTONE REPRINTS ARE THE BEST OF THE BUNCH. I HAVE NO ORIGINAL EC COMICS BECAUSE IF I HAD THAT KINDA MONEY I'D BE SPENDING IT ON 1953 TOPPS HIGH NUMBERS. THIS ISSUE HAS TWO STORIES BY WOOD!


DOWN TO EARTH!!!!! CHECK OUT THAT BITCHIN SKULL. I'VE HAD TO USE MY PHONE'S ANCIENT CAMERA SINCE THE SCANNER IS KAPUTT SO THERE'S NO SENSE IN TRYING TO UPLOAD THE WHOLE STORY SINCE THE TEXT IS PROBABLY UNREADABLE. THIS STORY IS ABOUT A BUNCH OF PLANE CRASHES THAT QUICKLY TURNS INTO AN X-FILE EPISODE. SPOILER - COVER BOY MAKES AN APPEARANCE


THERE WILL COME SOFT RAINS...
THIS ONE IS BASED ON A BRADBURY STORY AND IS CREEPY AS HELL. THE SHADOW FAMILY IN THE FIRST PANEL SETS THE HORRIBLE TONE


THE HAUNT OF FEAR. ANOTHER GLADSTONE PRODUCTION WITH HOF #17 AND WEIRD SCIENCE-FANTASY #28 WITH A COVER BY GRAHAM INGELS. THE HAUNT OF FEAR IS MY FAVORITE OF THE HORROR TITLES BECAUSE THIS BOOK'S HOST IS THE OLD WITCH. WITCHES ARE HELLA COOL. WOOD'S STORY IS A SCI-FI ONE THOUGH


THIS STORY IS FANTASTIC I WISH I COULD COPYRIGHT VIOLATION THE WHOLE THING FOR YOU. THE BASIC GIST OF THIS ONE IS A STARFLEET-TYPE VESSEL IS EXPLORING THE GALAXY AND CAPTIAN NOT-KIRK IS BORED SHITLESS BECAUSE THEY KEEP FINDING RUINS FROM A GRAND CIVILIZATION. THEY LUCKILY FIND A LASERDISC THAT EXPLAINS THE DOWNFALL OF THIS GRAND SUPERIOR RACE. THERE'S A TWIST AT THE END WORTHY OF MARK MOTHERSBAUGH. DE-EVOLUTION IS REAL!


TWO-FISTED TALES! THIS ONE IS FROM GEMSTONE PUBLISHING, WHICH USED TO BE RUSS COCHRAN PUBLISHER WHO TOOK OVER FROM GLADSTONE SOMEHOW AND SNAGGED ALL THEIR BACKSTOCK AND STARTED REPRINTING ALL THE ISSUES IN ORDER AS SINGLE ISSUES AND WASN'T AS GOOD AS THE DOUBLE ISSUE ONES. WHATEVER HAPPENED THE PRICE WENT UP AND YOU GOT LESS COMIC SO FUCK THAT. I NORMALLY DO NOT CARE FOR WAR COMICS OR WAR MOVIES OR WAR ANYTHING BUT THIS ISSUE HAS AN AMAZING WALLY WOOD COVER AND ONE OF WALLY'S ALL TIME CLASSICS


YOU KNOW WHAT THIS ONE'S ABOUT. IT IS HORRIBLE. THAT FIRST PANEL. UGH


I'M SAD NOW. LETS HAVE SOME FUN COMFORTING HORROR. TALES FROM THE CRYPT! THE CRYPT-KEEPER LOOKS VERY DIFFERENT FROM WHAT US 21ST CENTURY CITIZENS ARE USED TO BUT THE OLD WITCH IS GORGEOUS AS EVER.THIS ISSUE IS FROM THAT RUSS COCHRAN PUBLISHER MIDDLE PERIOD AND INCLUDES TALES FROM THE CRYPT #24 AND CRIME SUSPENSTORIES #21. THE ISSUE PRINTS A LETTER FROM A COMICS DORK BITCHING ABOUT THE PRINT QUALITY OF THE REPRINTS AND RUSS TAKES IT IN STRIDE AND SUGGESTS HIS HARDCOVER EDITIONS. VERY SMOOTH MARKETING, RUSS. ZOMBIE QUICKSAND COVER IS BY THE GREAT AL FELDSTEIN


LOOKIT DAT FACE. DAT BEAUTIFUL HORRIBLE FACE. THIS IS A STANDARD POTBOILER ABOUT A GOLD DIGGING HUSBAND TRYING TO PUT HIS WIFE IN THE GRAVE FOR THE INHERITANCE MONEY. BUT UNCLE'S NOT HAPPY! REMEMBER THAT FELDSTEIN COVER?


HEY! ECLIPSE! WE'VE COME FULL CIRCLE. EVERYTHING HERE IS ALL WALLY. I ADORE THIS COVER. THE STYLIZED SIGNATURE TITLE. THE FLYING SAUCERS. LITTLE SPACE KID BRINGING HOME A DEADLY RAPTOR WHILE MOM PROTESTS. THAT OUTFIT COMBO OF SKIN-TIGHT SUPERHERO SPANDEX, A PINK APRON AND FRIGGIN RED STILETTOS IS THE MOST RETRO-FUTURISTIC SHIT I'VE EVER SEEN. INSIDE ARE THREE WALLY WOOD STORIES. I DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY WERE ORIGINALLY FROM, BUT THEY SURE AS HELL WEREN'T EC OR OLE DR. FRED WOULD'VE HAD SOME REAL INTERESTING SHIT TO SHOW TO CONGRESS


THE END. I'M ONLY SHOWING HALF THE FIRST PAGE BECAUSE THERE IS NUDITY ON LITERALLY EVERY PAGE OF THIS STORY. THIS IS SOME REAL HEAVY METAL TYPE SHIT WHERE THE HAPPY KINGDOM OF ELVES COLLAPSES IN BLOODSHED WHEN THE IMMORTAL WIZARD OF PEACE GOES AND FUCKS OFF SOMEWHERE FOR SOME REASON. SERIOUSLY THOUGH, THERE'S AN AVERAGE OF ABOUT 2 DEATHS AND 4 TITS ON EVERY PAGE AND THAT'S NOT EVEN COUNTING THE ASSES. SO MANY ASSES


SECOND STORY IS THE SCIENCAL FICTIONARY TYPE. NOSY HUMANS GO EXPLORE SOME PLANETS AND SEE BIG PILES OF SKELETONS OF CREATURES THEY DIDN'T KILL. HOW RUDE! HUMANS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONES TO MURDER ALL LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE. AFTER MORE SKELETON PLANETS THEY FINALLY FIND A CIVILIZATION TO DESTROY. AND THEY DO! THEN THE FUN BEGINS! SPOILER - EVERYONE DIES. JUST LIKE ROGUE ONE, BUT WITH SLIME


HERE'S ANOTHER FANTASY STORY WITH BEWBS. THIS WAS THE BEST PAGE TO POST BECAUSE IT ONLY HAS HALF A SIDEBOOB AND A FLYING PONY! THIS IS A CONAN TYPE STORY WHERE A BARBARIAN GETS PISSED OFF BY A COUPLE OF WIZARDS WHO TRY TO SNATCH HIS NAKED GIRLFRIEND MARISSA. AND SHE IS VERY NAKED ALTHOUGH WALLY DID THE THING WHERE HER LONG FLOWY HAIR USUALLY COVERS UP THE NIPS SO THIS ONE MUST HAVE BEEN FOR A SLIGHTLY HIGHER-CLASS PUBLICATION ORIGINALLY. BUT OUR BARBARIAN FRIEND ONLY HAS THE STANDARD LOINCLOTH AND GIRLFRIEND ONLY WEARS CLOTHES FOR LIKE TWO PANELS SPECIFICALLY FOR A PLOT POINT BEFORE TAKING THEM OFF IN RELIEF. AMUSINGLY ENOUGH ONE OF THE ASSHOLE WIZARDS IS NAMED THANOS AND YES HE IS PURPLE. I LIKED THIS STORY BEST BECAUSE TORIN THE BARBARIAN IS A DISCORDIAN AND FLYING PONIES OF COURSE.

WHEW! THIS WAS A LONG ONE! ALSO IMPORTANT BECAUSE NOW THIS IS A CARD AND COMIC BLOG! HA! HA! I SNUCK COMICS IN RIGHT UNDER YOUR NOSES! DON'T WORRY NO COMICS IN THE NEXT POST BUT AFTER THAT WHO KNOWS. TILL NEXT TIME, MAYBE SOONER IF MY @$%$# SCANNER WOULD START RESPONDING

2 comments:

Fuji said...

Eclipse sure had some interesting card sets. I've picked up a few singles over the years here and there. And I definitely remember some of those comic book titles as a kid. Although I don't consider myself a comic book collector, I do enjoy reading posts about them from time to time.

Jon said...

SUCH A GREAT POST! DO MORE LIKE THIS!!!!!!