The Slowest Box Break Ever: Part 1, Box Toppers

My novella of a Topps review is done so the wrapper is off of this box. Opening up the box finds a big hunk '0 cardboard with Available Jones on it:

This is apparently an ad the dealer can stand upon the back of the shoe box when displaying it. Pretty nice, plus is protects the toppers. Speaking of toppers, let's get 'em!

First up is the longbox sticker to use with the set. Topps has been putting these in their hobby boxes for a few years now. As much as I harp on Topps for ignoring the details, I have to admit this is a great idea and a nice touch.


Here's the side of Brussels sprouts you have to choke down if you want your dessert. Topps finally segregated these cards into a box topper and I say hooray. I don't want to open a pack and find one of these things staring at me. That's two extra cards I can pull instead. I'm not even going to bother to open this. I don't know if I'll sell it or just stick it in the back of the closet, but I don't care enough to open the thing.

Here's the Scouting Report that gets inserted into all Bowman boxes. The reports seem a little light on info this year... this turns out to be a glorified checklist card for the Red Heart prospect set. . Scanning through it I see four Braves in the set:

BHP5 Kala Kaaihue, the big Hawaiian first base prospect whose name comes up when Braves fans acknowledge that it's going to be next to impossible to get Teixeira to sign an extension with Boras as his agent.

BHP11 Tommy Hanson, another in a line of endless low minors Braves pitching prospects. He just made #9 on Baseball America's top ten Prospects lists for the Braves.

BHP30 Gorkys Hernandez, He's a Tiger on the card, but we just got him from Detroit in the Renteria trade. One of many Braves center field prospects that will be ready in a couple of years when we need one yesterday. Gorkys is a cool name, but I'm afraid I'll think of this whenever I hear it. If that's the case then I'm rooting like hell for Jordan Schafer to win the job.

BHP74 Matt Young, I'm not gonna lie, I don't know who the hell this guy is. He's not this guy, that I know.

Big names in the set: Jeff Samardzija, Luke Hochevar, Joba Chamberlain, Josh and Jeremy Papelbon, Reid Brignac, Cooper Brannon.

Juniors in the set: Eric Young Jr, Ivan De Jesus Jr, Joe Gaetti (son of Gary), Will Venable (son of Max).

Awesome names in the set: The aforementioned Kala Kaaihue, Johnathan Van Every, Young Il Jung, Gorkys, Woods Fines, Michael MacDonald.

I didn't see a base checklist in there, but maybe it's buried under the packs.

Ok now for the thing you've all been waiting for... The Red Man Ripoff Box Topper:

Alex Gordon, nice one. Topps got the bottom coupon right, but forgot the bio on the front. No matter. Alex looks good alongside another Gordon from the original set.

Now that's a Red Man tobacco card!