Scott Boras nonsense

Here's a gem from Scott Boras whining that he doesn't understand why the Yankees all of a sudden won't play nice and offer to overpay for his client so he can get the bidding frenzy nice and hot:

"Why is it that Alex is the only Yankee who can't become a free agent?" Boras said Wednesday. "That question was not answered, and we think it's a question that's going to be asked for years to come."

Ooo! Ooo! Mr Kotter! Ooo! OOO! I want to field this one. Because by opting out of the contract instead of negotiating with the Yankees to extend said contract, you cost them THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS YOU DIPSHIT. You cost them THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS so you could 'test the market' and thus extort even more money out of them by claiming a bunch of phantom teams are bidding on his services like you do with every single one of your other clients. And when you cost an entity THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS, whether that entity is an individual or a massive multinational corporation, the entity that just lost THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS tends to get a little pissy about losing THIRTY FREAKING MILLION DOLLARS, you dumbass. Get the Rangers to overpay for Rodriguez, you just saved them that THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS that they would have had to pay the Yankees. Good luck with that, seeing how brilliantly signing Alex worked for them the first time.

Fuck breaking Bonds' record, here's where I'd like to see A-Rod play for the next few years via my dream 2008 Topps Heritage Card:


Update: Toledo would work too.

And this is what I'd like to see Scott Boras have to go through for the next 11 months or so while his client remains unsigned.



If I seem just a wee bit snarkier than usual today don't worry, I'm grouchy because Atlanta doesn't have a date booked on Cake's new tour.