BUZZZZZZ

No, I didn't sign up for the text message.

Yes, I did laugh my ass off when Something Awful ordered him pizza.

And yes, if CNN is wrong, I have my Hillary cards scanned and ready to go.

2008 Upper Deck Update

Both Stale Gum and Hand Collated have mentioned an update set for 2008 Upper Deck so there has to be something to this. It's being sold as a factory set, and comes with a box that can hold the entire 1000 card set. And it will only cost 20 bucks.

No.

Freaking.

Way.

Upper Deck's not doing this. This is a cruel joke meant to torment set builders. UD is going to have two game used and an auto card in every box as 'added value' and charge $60 for it. There will be another Predictor set with the nominees and their potential running mates reenacting famous movie love scenes, and there will be a super short printed card of John McCain and Mitt Romney in an homage to Last Tango In Paris that is 'pulled' at the last minute due to its inappropriateness. There will be a reverse negative error card of ecurB yaJ. One in every 20 boxes will have a rare Gold Foil parallel set. One in 1000 will have a super rare Platinum set. One box in every million will include spores of deadly Anthrax, causing death and carnage to whatever hobby shop opens it. One of One MoJo Spores. This is 2008. There has to be a stupid gimmick designed to get idiots to buy a bunch of boxes in order to chase a piece of cardboard that will depreciate 75% in value in two years. I'm not going to believe this until I see some Pre-Sells.

TFAW.com - Upper Deck 2008 Mlb Update Trading Card Set - Pre-sell $15.99

The Card Kid - 2008 Upper Deck MLB Update Set - 200 Cards - Pre-sell $11.88

Freakin' eBay - 2008 Upper Deck MLB Update Set - 200 Cards - Pre-sell $12.00

Ok, it's only August but I'm calling it now. 2008 Upper Deck is the base set of the year. The design is better than Topps, the photos look better than Topps, there are more cards for the money than are in Topps packs, there's a real life Fukudome rookie in the set already, they saved their gimmick super short prints for insert sets and a variation card instead of fucking up the base set with an imaginary no-hitter card, and now they have a simple factory update set with a box to hold the entire set instead of this monstrocity. If Topps were to give every collector in America a free Kosuke Fukudome #645 and a free "Johan Santana watches the game on the bench because he's not scheduled to pitch" #661 card along with a handwritten apology, they might be able to scrape out a tie. Or, would have been able to if it weren't for the First Lady inserts in Updates & Highlights. After 56 years of dominating the base set, Topps got cute and was completely pwned by Upper Deck. I tried like hell not to like this year's UD set too, but I know when I'm beat. 2008 Upper Deck is better than 2008 Topps. It remains to be seen if Topps will bounce back in 2009.

Screw you Topps

Upper Deck is the one that really cares about me.


I'm off to rip my first pack of the year on A Pack A Day, and it ain't Topps, 'cause y'all are slack.

Editor's note - 3/02/08 - Since the Upper Deck Hillary/Morganna stunt I've bought three hobby boxes of Topps product, and zippo of Upper Deck. See what petty shenanigans gets you? Don't do it again.

Happy New Year

Bring on 2008, baby!

The Heritage of Topps Heritage

Wax Heaven has the scoop on 2008 Topps Heritage, you can download the sell sheet and checklist for yourself here (numbers 22, 23 and 24 under baseball). The Heritage line continues with the 1959 design in 2008 with a 500 card set. The usual insert sets are there with the addition of a new set that features top news stories from 1959. Vintage 1959 cards will also be included as a box topper in some Hobby boxes. Heritage is the set I most look forward to each year and I'll write up a review soon. In the meantime, for those of you who have been out of the hobby for a while and haven't gotten into the whole Heritage Experience, here's a gallery of examples from each of the Heritage sets From 2001-2007 and a sample of the '08 version from the sell sheet. Enjoy!

2001 Topps Heritage - 1952 Topps design


2002 Topps Heritage - 1953 Topps design


2003 Topps Heritage - 1954 Topps design


2004 Topps Heritage - 1955 Topps design


2005 Topps Heritage - 1956 Topps design


2006 Topps Heritage - 1957 Topps design


2007 Topps Heritage - 1958 Topps design


2008 Topps Heritage - 1959 Topps design

Scott Boras nonsense

Here's a gem from Scott Boras whining that he doesn't understand why the Yankees all of a sudden won't play nice and offer to overpay for his client so he can get the bidding frenzy nice and hot:

"Why is it that Alex is the only Yankee who can't become a free agent?" Boras said Wednesday. "That question was not answered, and we think it's a question that's going to be asked for years to come."

Ooo! Ooo! Mr Kotter! Ooo! OOO! I want to field this one. Because by opting out of the contract instead of negotiating with the Yankees to extend said contract, you cost them THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS YOU DIPSHIT. You cost them THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS so you could 'test the market' and thus extort even more money out of them by claiming a bunch of phantom teams are bidding on his services like you do with every single one of your other clients. And when you cost an entity THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS, whether that entity is an individual or a massive multinational corporation, the entity that just lost THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS tends to get a little pissy about losing THIRTY FREAKING MILLION DOLLARS, you dumbass. Get the Rangers to overpay for Rodriguez, you just saved them that THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS that they would have had to pay the Yankees. Good luck with that, seeing how brilliantly signing Alex worked for them the first time.

Fuck breaking Bonds' record, here's where I'd like to see A-Rod play for the next few years via my dream 2008 Topps Heritage Card:


Update: Toledo would work too.

And this is what I'd like to see Scott Boras have to go through for the next 11 months or so while his client remains unsigned.



If I seem just a wee bit snarkier than usual today don't worry, I'm grouchy because Atlanta doesn't have a date booked on Cake's new tour.

Cool Things on Other Blogs

Since I'm having issues creating my own content, here's some links to some other cool baseball card related schtuff on teh internets.

Chris Harris scooped us all on the unveiling of Upper Deck's 2008 set. Check out his review here:
Stale Gum: 1st Impressions: 2008 Upper Deck Series One
Chris does a great job at summing up the 2008 edition and I agree with pretty much everything he said. These were my initial thoughts from checking out the sell sheet.

• Whoever decided it was a good idea to distribute your sell sheet via a powerpoint presentation is an evil, evil person.
• Still charging 5 bucks a pack is bad. Upping the cards per pack to 20 is better, but not quite good. They better not still be charging 3 bucks for 8 cards on the retail packs. Fat packs too. I want to see 35-40 cards a pack if they're still gonna charge 5 bucks. moar cardz plz. kthx.
• I don't understand the redemption cards either. Series 1 doesn't need every damn rookie card in it, people will buy the set anyway. It's February, what else is there to do? Save the rookies for series 2.
• This MLB licensing agreement has got to be tweaked. It's causing too many problems like this redemption crap and Bowman 'insert' sets. Let companies put rookies in the series 1 sets that haven't technically made their debut, but are virtually assured a roster spot like the Japanese imports and the Rule V picks.
  
• Base design looks better this year, but it still looks like they are using foil for the names. I would have never made the connection to the 1995 set, good catch, Chris.
• The fact we are at the point of retro game used card designs blows my mind. I'm ashamed to admit I kind of like it.
• I saw packs of O-Pee-Chee hockey in the store and even though I knew that UD has a monopoly on the hockey market, I never put 2 and 2 together and wondered if UD bought O-Pee-Chee. It's a pretty genius move actually, they did an end around on Topps to gank their vintage designs. Everyone knows that O-Pee-Chee design = Topps design with a different logo.
• Then they go and screw it up by slightly fudging the design like they did with the Vintage sets. That is NOT a 1969 O-Pee-Chee design. The circle design with the team and the position they are using looks really familiar though and I don't mean '69 Topps. I swear it's from an old oddball TCMA set or something like that.

For all your "Indians fan losing their mind over the Tribe in the playoffs" needs, check out Indians Baseball Cards. Always. It's also got lots of great oddball stuff that only a team collector could love such as Doug Jones' Flaming Balls.

If you're not reading The Brill Report, you should be. Lots of good stuff on there. I never even knew there was a Donruss Americana set coming out. Those guys are desperate for that license aren't they...

Squeezeplaycards.com has been doing a really cool thing this year with their $10 weekly wax challenge. Joey spends 10 bucks on packs every week and posts the pulls for our enjoyment. Kind of like A Pack A Day, only with focus and a healthy bit of self-discipline. It's a good example on how frustrating the hobby can be for anyone who can't afford to bust boxes and cases like the high rollers out there.

Ben's still chugging along with the Great Goudey Trade-Away. I love this idea as it serves to showcase a great looking set, show off some truly random cards and encourage something that has been lost in the hobby, trading!

I've been lurking in here a lot lately.

I've pimped this before, but I really like SportsLizard's news reader. They've also a neat price guide thingamajig, but I'm more interested in the cards than the prices.

Thorzul Will Rule is in the finals of the 1981 Topps Tournament. This is a true battle royale between Ellis Valentine's mutant batting helmet and the Mad Hungarian's angry, angry mustache. Go Vote!!!

Also on Thorzul's blog is the most awesomest thing you will ever see on the internet. I'm not even going to tell you what it is. You just have to click to see it for yourself. I guarantee you will not be disappointed.

If you have a card blog that didn't get mentioned, or isn't in my sidebar, please post a comment and let me know about it. I'm planning clean up a bit and separate out all the blogs into their own category. I'd love to have a few more over there to steal from check out!

No Fighting in the War Room

A recent Allen & Ginter post by Chris Harris is threatening to break out into a political flamewar. I have commemorated the event by adding a President, War Hero and Scientist to my proposed 2008 A&G Checklist.

Hello? Hello, Dimitri? Listen, I can't hear too well, do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little? Oh, that's much better. Yes. Fine, I can hear you now, Dimitri. Clear and plain and coming through fine. I'm coming through fine too, eh? Good, then. Well then as you say we're both coming through fine. Good. Well it's good that you're fine and I'm fine. I agree with you. It's great to be fine. Now then Dimitri. You know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the bomb. The bomb, Dimitri. The hydrogen bomb. Well now what happened is, one of our base commanders, he had a sort of, well he went a little funny in the head. You know. Just a little... funny. And uh, he went and did a silly thing. Well, I'll tell you what he did, he ordered his planes... to attack your country. Well let me finish, Dimitri. Let me finish, Dimitri. Well, listen, how do you think I feel about it? Can you imagine how I feel about it, Dimitri? Why do you think I'm calling you? Just to say hello? Of course I like to speak to you. Of course I like to say hello. Not now, but any time, Dimitri. I'm just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened. It's a friendly call. Of course it's a friendly call. Listen, if it wasn't friendly, ... you probably wouldn't have even got it. They will not reach their targets for at least another hour. I am... I am positive, Dimitri. Listen, I've been all over this with your ambassador. It is not a trick. Well I'll tell you. We'd like to give your air staff a complete run down on the targets, the flight plans, and the defensive systems of the planes. Yes! I mean, if we're unable to recall the planes, then I'd say that, uh, well, we're just going to have to help you destroy them, Dimitri. I know they're our boys. Alright, well, listen... who should we call? Who should we call, Dimitri? The people...? Sorry, you faded away there. The People's Central Air Defense Headquarters. Where is that, Dimitri? In Omsk. Right. Yes. Oh, you'll call them first, will you? Uh huh. Listen, do you happen to have the phone number on you, Dimitri? What? I see, just ask for Omsk Information. I'm sorry too, Dimitri. I'm very sorry. Alright! You're sorrier than I am! But I am sorry as well. I am as sorry as you are, Dimitri. Don't say that you are more sorry than I am, because I am capable of being just as sorry as you are. So we're both sorry, alright? Alright.

Ok. I'm gonna get your money for you. But if you don't get the President of the United States on that phone, you know what's going to happen to you?

What?

You're going to have to answer to the Coca-Cola Company.

Mein Fuhrer, I can walk!

I Have no Idea How I Forgot These Two

My mind is really slipping, I also forgot to watch Feasting on Asphalt last night. I'm not sure if the cards have infected my brain or if I'm just getting old and shouldn't be staying up so late. Probably a little of both. Anyway here's two additions to the Non-Baseball champions category (Bowling and Iron Chef) and a special treat for Chris.

2008 Allen & Ginter Checklist Suggestions

Poor Ben Henry finally broke down and succumbed to the goodness that is 2007 Allen & Ginter. His box review is much better - and funnier - than mine, mainly because he's not a drooling slobbering fanboy throughout. He actually has the guts to call the Alex Rodriguez mirror card the "A-Rod Home Run Bullshit Waste of Space", which is exactly what it is. And he's actually worked with Topps before. If Topps came to me asking for advice on a set I'd be such a sycophantic douche (think a cross between Grima Wormtongue and Comic Book Guy) I'd probably have one of those crappy ARods tattooed to my ass if they asked me to. At the end of his post, Ben suggested some cards for 2008 he'd like to see, assuming there is a 2008 set. And really, if Topps is going to drag out Turkey Red for one more year, why not?

This got Chris Harris of Stale Gum thinking who he'd like to see in a hypothetical 2008 set, so he posted his list. It's a very good list too. Fred Merkle's Boner, Shaun White, Hunter S. Thompson and Machu Picchu would all make great trading cards. The idea of putting Keith Olbermann and Bill O'Reilly on a dual auto card is is pure genius. Then Chris asked is anyone had any suggestions... Of course that set me off and about 5 hours later I not only have a list of suggestions but a few mock ups as well. If anyone from Topps is reading, feel free to steal any of these ideas. If you want to hire me on as a consultant, that would be great too, just give me time to make an appointment at the local tattoo parlor.


Baseball
Seconded on Buck 'O'Neill
Willard Brown
Nino Escalera
John Irvin Kennedy - The first black player to play for the Philadelphia Phillies (the last NL team to integrate by the way) yet does not have a single baseball card to my knowledge.
Rube Foster
Bud Fowler
Fleetwood Walker
Welday Walker
Harry Wright
George Wright
Rube Waddell
Jim Bouton
Branch Rickey
Don Mossi
Oscar Gamble
Bow Wow Arft
Van Lingle Mungo
Sibbi Sisti
Pumpsie Green
Creepy Crespi
Casey Stengel
Yogi Berra (every set produced should have Yogi)
Roy Hobbs
Sidd Finch
Joe Schlabotnik
Eddie Gaedel
Moonlight Graham
Benny Bengough
Dave 'Soup' Campbell
Dave Campbell - 1977-78 Braves


Non-Baseball
Pele - if you don't know who this is, then you're an American. If you do know who this is, and you're an American, the NSA would like to have a word with you.
Richard Petty
Willie O'Ree
Happy Feller
Bobby Jones
Artis Gilmore
Sam Snead
Johnny Unitas
Jack Nicklaus
Peggy Fleming
Johnathan Wendel
Brandi Chastain
Jamie Hyneman's Blendo - BattleBots is a legitimate sport. Adam Savage is on the top of my 2009 A&G set wish list. Kari Byron is the only person in my proposed 2010 A&G set, which will have 4,872 cards plus parallels and relics. Scottie Chapman can be in the set too if she wants. Tory Belleci cannot be in the set, but we'll use a screencap of his bike jump over a wagon as the package art. Grant Imahara gets a card maybe around 2027.
Connie Hawkins
Bobby Orr
Garry Kasparov
Deep Blue
Jerry Rice
Brian Lara
Babe Didrikson Zaharias
Jim Thorpe
Wilt Chamberlain
Mark Spitz
The female pole vaulter whose picture is all over the internet
Venus and Serena Williams
Crystl Bustos
Dave Campbell - founder of Texas Football Magazine


Historical Figures
Emperor Norton - Emperor of these United States and Protector of Mexico, 1859-1880. Dissolved Congress, abolished the Democratic and Republican parties, called for the creation of a League of Nations and ordered the building of a bridge and tunnel connecting Oakland and San Francisco. A great visionary and patriot.
Nikolai Tesla
Bert Randolph Sugar
Frank Zappa
Damon Runyan
Lenny Bruce
Harry Houdini
Kurt Vonnegut
Charles Schulz
Stephen Hawking
Malaclypse the Younger
Bill Hicks
Groucho Marx
Chico Marx
Harpo Marx
Not Zeppo Marx - no card for you
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Arthur C. Clarke
Buckminster Fuller
Jules Verne
Nellie Bly
Fusajiro Yamauchi
Ernest Thayer
DeWolf Hopper
Charlie Chaplin
Edward D. Wood
Malcom X
Guy Fawkes
Aleister Crowley
Dave Campbell - Oscar Winning sound re-recording mixer


Monuments, etc.
Elysian Fields
Polo Grounds
Ebbets Field
Notre Dame Cathedral
Sydney Opera House
The Globe Theater
The Big Chicken - everywhere in Atlanta is either on Peachtree Street, or is a mile from The Big Chicken. Look it up.
Nazca Lines
The Hindenburg
Stonehenge


Special unannounced insert set 1:
WOF-1 Lou Costello
WOF-2 Bud Abbott
WOF-3 Who - First Base
WOF-4 What - Second Base
WOF-5 I Don't Know - Third Base
WOF-6 Why - Left Field
WOF-7 Because - Center Field
WOF-8 Tomorrow - Pitcher
WOF-9 Today - Catcher
WOF-10 I Don't Give A Darn - Shortstop

Special unannounced insert set 2:
TS-1 Harry Moses Horwitz
TS-2 Louis Feinberg
TS-3 Jerome Lester Horwitz
TS-4 Samuel Horwitz
TS-5 Joe Besser
TS-6 Joseph Wardell
TS-7 Emil Sitka