Saturday, May 31, 2008
Fresh 2 U - Greg Olson
Now we have Greg Olson eating broccoli on the 7th card from the Florida Agriculture set. Or pretending to eat broccoli more like it. There's no ranch dressing on that sucker and you can just see it in Greg's eyes that he really wants no part of this charade. Commissioner Bob was handing out the produce, got to Greg and hands him a stalk of raw broccoli. "Where's the ranch dressing?" Greg asked. "You don't get any" Bob replied. "You'll eat that broccoli and you'll like it, or else we'll sic Jeff's tangerines on you." So Greg takes the broccoli and smiles and fake nibbles on the thing while making yummy sounds while everyone else gets oranges and mutant tangerines and other yummy fruit. Ok, so Glavine got a carrot and didn't get any ranch dressing either, but at least he could do his Bugs Bunny impression and pick up chicks. Poor Greg has to fake gnaw on raw broccoli. The real tragedy here is that the card don't even mention broccoli anywhere on it. The logo on the top and the factoid on the back is all about watermelons. Juicy sweet, delicious watermelons. 65% of the nations watermelons are grown in Florida and Bob hands Greg a freakin' broccoli. With no dressing of any kind. Catchers get no respect. No respect at all. Someone give poor Greg an orange or something. Or at least steam the broccoli and put some butter or cheese on it. The guy's an All-Star, he deserves it.