STAY OFF THE DRUGS

Richard D and Fleer just wouldn't approve

I want to get High

NO NO NO.

Topps Heritage High.

Number Series.

Presented by:

TOPPS

2009 Baseball

Updates & Highlights.

Major League Baseball

6 Heritage High Number Cards + 2 Updates & Highlight cards + 1 Stick of Bubble Gum.

Packs with a relic card contain 7 cards.

Patent Pending.

Here's a pack to open you pothead degenerates. Do cards, not drugs!

633 Tony Gwynn

Cool stat on the back: Tony's 1st hit was 24 years to the day after his dad's first. Sadly I dinged up this card pretty badly with my keys. D'oh!

653 Nyjer Morgan

That DC on the helmet is pretty slick. If Liberty Media ever move the Braves to Bermuda for a tax dodge shelter I might have to become a Nats fan just for the swag.

533 Carl Pavano

fdgakjndf

No, really. fdgakjndf just about sums it up.

Abominations to the Lord

Get this CRAP outta my Heritage!!!

Actually the Masterson throwback uni is pretty slick, it just doesn't belong in my pack of Heritage.

CHR180 Brett Gardner Chrome 1361/1960

A lot of people on the Braves Beat blog were hoping for this guy instead of Melky in the Vazquez trade. I don't understand what Atlantans got against Melky. Melky's a good player dammit! Also: I know bupkis about Gardner.

519 Bud Norris RC

Of Bud, I know nothing. Bud looks like he may be familiar with the Bud, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN AND I THINK YOU DO

583 Garrett Jones

I JUST saw this card on another blog and I wasn't paying attention enough to glean any info on this dude out of it so I could be able to write something coherent about him here. This is the problem with Heritage High: I DON'T KNOW WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE. Now, you could say this is a me problem and not a Topps problem, but I'm not the one selling nobodies for the same price as regular Heritage with two less cards in the pack. BRING BACK BOWMAN HERITAGE! Or Topps Total. Either one works for me.

I'M YELLING AND I DON'T KNOW WHYYYYYYY

Someone get Timmy a box of Goodwin, quick!

DAMMIT TIM - DO CARDS, NOT DRUGS

So, yeah. Tim Lincecum got totally busted smoking weed. Anyone surprised at all? Anyone not looking forward to the melodramatic hand wringing that will be on ESPN and every single sports talk station tomorrow? Here I was all geeked up about Hot Stove League and now I'm going to have to listen to a bunch of middle aged white men spluttering on about the children.

Legalize everything, regulate it, TAX it and kick all non-violent hippies on possession charges out of our tax funded prisons and make them get a job or live in momma's basement. Then there will be enough revenue generated to pay for two useless wars (and maybe start another one!), fully fund communist universal public option single payer socialized health care, and have enough left over to bail out another dozen banks who decided to play craps with the housing market. It's all about priorities folks. In this economy ya can't randomly bomb Afghani civilians, set up death panels to kill your Nana, ensure that crooked bank execs get their golden parachutes and throw stoners into PMITA prison all at the same time, something's gotta give.

Oh wait, I'm ranting, aren't I? Sorry 'bout that, I've been listening to Bill Hicks again. Someone seriously needs to straighten out Lincy though. Maybe a veteran on the Giants can take him under his wing. Timmy should stay at Barry Zito's place the rest of the offseason. That guy seems extemely stable and as solidly conservative as they come.

Timmy would've won the Cy Young Award... but he got hiiiiiigh...


(oh wait)

Seriously though, click on this link and read the comments. COMEDY GOLD.