Someone get Timmy a box of Goodwin, quick!

DAMMIT TIM - DO CARDS, NOT DRUGS

So, yeah. Tim Lincecum got totally busted smoking weed. Anyone surprised at all? Anyone not looking forward to the melodramatic hand wringing that will be on ESPN and every single sports talk station tomorrow? Here I was all geeked up about Hot Stove League and now I'm going to have to listen to a bunch of middle aged white men spluttering on about the children.

Legalize everything, regulate it, TAX it and kick all non-violent hippies on possession charges out of our tax funded prisons and make them get a job or live in momma's basement. Then there will be enough revenue generated to pay for two useless wars (and maybe start another one!), fully fund communist universal public option single payer socialized health care, and have enough left over to bail out another dozen banks who decided to play craps with the housing market. It's all about priorities folks. In this economy ya can't randomly bomb Afghani civilians, set up death panels to kill your Nana, ensure that crooked bank execs get their golden parachutes and throw stoners into PMITA prison all at the same time, something's gotta give.

Oh wait, I'm ranting, aren't I? Sorry 'bout that, I've been listening to Bill Hicks again. Someone seriously needs to straighten out Lincy though. Maybe a veteran on the Giants can take him under his wing. Timmy should stay at Barry Zito's place the rest of the offseason. That guy seems extemely stable and as solidly conservative as they come.

Timmy would've won the Cy Young Award... but he got hiiiiiigh...


(oh wait)

Seriously though, click on this link and read the comments. COMEDY GOLD.