Do you want this to happen? Do you want this to NOT happen? Do you have an opinion at all and happen to be a citizen of the United States over 18 years of age registered to vote and not residing in Iowa, New Hampshire, South Carolina, Florida, Nevada, Colorado, Minnesota, Missouri, Maine Arizona, Michigan, Wyoming or Washington?
THEN GO OUT AND VOTE YOU SLACKASSES!!!
There are primaries going on all over the goddamn place and the Republicans have absolutely no friggin' clue who the hell they want as their nominee and even if you don't give a crap about who becomes President your congressional representatives are most likely in a primary race and the way they've been reaming us all up the azz without the decency to even give us a little reacharound just as a common courtesy don't you want to vote that lousy motherscratcher out of office as soon as possible? HERE'S YOUR CHANCE. Here's when ya vote! Utah's a bunch of slackers! Go vote, stupid! or even go vote stupid! Here's my choice for our next
The Mostly Honorable Vermin Supreme!
Free PONIES and all I have to do is brush my teeth every day under penalty of DEATH!
VOTE VERMIN LYRA SUPREME by ~dream-quill on deviantART
Dude, seriously, ponies. FREE ONES. As part of a Mandatory Federal Pony ID program. Plus he can turn people gay with magical sprinkle dust. How can you ask for a better candidate?
Oh wait, he's a Democrat. I'm voting in the Republican Primary because that's the only party we have anymore in my district. I wonder if Herman Cain will give me a pony...?
UPDATE: Herman Cain wasn't even on the ballot!
Oh well, ended up voting for Gary Johnson since there's a decent chance I'll end up voting for him in the general anyway as the Libertarian candidate. What? I've never voted for an incumbent President in my life, why start now? Besides, I live in GEORGIA. The only way Barack Obama is winning this state is if he leads the Dawgs to the BCS Title.
Oh yeah one other thing on the ballot: Sunday liquor sales.
Maybe my state can finally join the 20th century!